


Finding Yourself

by Copper_Nugget



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Aromantic Asexual Deceit Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Deceit Sanders Angst, Deceit has powers, Gay Logic | Logan Sanders, Gen, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Insecure Logic | Logan Sanders, Logan has powers, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders & Deceit Sanders are Siblings, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders Tries, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Morally Neutral Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Multi, Protective Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Protective Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Roman has a sword, Sad Logic | Logan Sanders, Smitten Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Trans Morality | Patton Sanders, Virgil has powers, poly logan, poly virgil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 195,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23992048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Copper_Nugget/pseuds/Copper_Nugget
Summary: Virgil wakes to find that the entire world is asleep... well, almost the entire world.He soon learns that there are others awake as well, and they are the only ones able to end this worldwide sleep.Virgil must help the others to wake the rest of the world from this eternal sleep, while dealing with life-changing realizations and trying to find who he is.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 278
Kudos: 348
Collections: We Can't Keep Running Away From Who We Are





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm here with another fic! This time, it is part of a collab with saibug1022. We are writing together, and we each took a few perspectives. On saibug1022's story you will find things from Logan's perspective with interludes from Dee and Roman, and on my end you will see most of the story from Virgil's perspective, with interludes from Remus and Patton. I strongly recommend you read both, as you can make sense of it with just one perspective, but it will make more sense with all of it. saibug1022 and I will always post our chapters together in the collection.  
> I hope you guy's enjoy. Here are some trigger warnings, please make sure to always read these, and feel free to let me know if you think I missed anything:  
> panic attack, passive suicidal thoughts, coma (sort of), anxiety

Virgil woke up to his alarm blaring early Thursday morning in mid-February. He groaned and rolled over, hitting snooze on his alarm clock as he huddled under the covers for warmth. If it is still dark out, then he shouldn’t have to get out of bed. He closed his eyes again, and fell back to sleep, just to be jerked awake 10 minutes later by his alarm once more. With a sigh, he got out of bed, knowing if he slept in any longer he would be late. If there was one thing Virgil hated more than getting up early, it was the awkward walk of shame that came from getting to class late.

Virgil shuffled out of bed and into the kitchen, ready to get his coffee and breakfast that his parents always made for him on a school day. He could never make it through a school day without coffee. So it was a surprise when Virgil got into the kitchen to find no one there. 

His immediate reaction was to panic. What if they had been kidnapped? What if someone had killed them in the middle of the night while Virgil slept? He knew these were unlikely possibilities, more likely was that they had just overslept. So, to calm his nerves, Virgil went to his parent’s bedroom to find them both sound asleep in their bed.

With a sigh of relief, Virgil walked over with a smirk, getting ready to wake his parents up and tease them for sleeping in, as they always got on Virgil for doing the same. Plus, they had to get to work, they really did need to wake up.

Virgil grabbed his mom’s shoulders first as she was closest and shook her, trying to wake her up. He expected at least a groan or some sort of movement, as his mom was not a very heavy sleeper, but there was no reaction. Beginning to panic again, he shook her harder, with still no response. He tried his dad and it was the same.

They were both breathing, Virgil reasoned as he pulled out his phone, ready to call 911. Even if they were breathing, they wouldn’t wake up, and that couldn’t be good. Virgil took a deep breath and hit call, waiting as the phone rang and… no one picked up.

That… that was not good. They always had someone working there, right? They always had people ready to answer the phone if someone called 911. Virgil tried to control his breathing as he went to check his Tumblr. He wasn’t sure how that would help, but maybe other people were in the same situation? And he definitely didn’t want to check at the neighbors, because he didn’t like social interaction (if they were even awake. Was everyone asleep? No, that was stupid, of course everyone wasn’t asleep, it was just his anxiety telling him that). Plus the neighbor’s house was at least a mile away. It seemed like faulty logic, even to him, but he decided to give it a shot anyway.

That is where he saw the post. 3 hours ago by Lobot3000. The post read: “Is anyone else awake? If you are, please reply with your name and location so I can gather information.” There was one reply, which said, “Both me and my little brother are, we're in Florida.”

Virgil had mixed emotions upon seeing this. First of all, he was relieved. He wasn’t the only one in this situation. But secondly, and most importantly, he was _horrified_. Only one reply, coming from two people. Were there only 3 people other than him awake?

Virgil stood with his phone in his hand, frozen, staring at the post. ‘Breathe’ he told himself as he forced his hands to type a reply, ‘breathe’.

After some consideration of whether it was safe to give this complete stranger his name and location, he decided the situation couldn’t get any worse, so what was the harm? Virgil replied: I am awake. My name is Virgil and I am in Oregon.

There, that was simple and answered the question. Now, it was time to wait. Virgil wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but he knew there wasn’t anything else he could do now. He decided that panicking wasn’t gonna help (not that that stopped him from panicking). The best thing he could think to do was to get dressed so that whatever happened next, he was ready.

Virgil went to his room and grabbed an outfit without looking. That didn’t mean much though, as all of his clothes were black or dark purple. He ended up in a dark purple t-shirt and ripped black jeans. He grabbed his oversized black hoodie and threw it on as well, considering it was February and pretty cold. He checked his phone and nothing had changed. He sighed and sat down as he tugged at his hoodie sleeves, trying to keep his anxiety at bay.

Of course, that was a pointless effort. Virgil had diagnosed anxiety. He had panic attacks over conversations with teachers, there was no way he was gonna be able to stay in control now. Virgil balled up his sleeves in his fists, no longer gently tugging, but now forcefully pulling at them. He felt the pressure of the sleeves against his arms as he pulled at them, arms crossed against his chest.

He grit his teeth as his breaths shortened. His breathing came out in short gasps as he leaned over his arms, pulling his body in on itself as he sat at the edge of his bed. He closed his eyes as tears began to fall. He began rocking himself as he gasped.

He couldn’t remember the first time he had had a panic attack. He couldn’t remember a lot of things. This was because he was in a car accident when he was 12 and had amnesia from it, so the first panic attack he remembered was when he was 12. He had woken up in this house and couldn’t remember where he was. His parents came in to find him panicking and unable to breathe. He had thought he was going to die. They had talked him down and assured him that he was home and they were his parents, that he was safe.

He had had many panic attacks since then, yet it was still just as scary as that very first time. As Virgil rocked himself he felt like he was going to die. He couldn’t get oxygen. He was going to die. 

‘Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad’, part of his brain reasoned, ‘then you’d be out of this situation at least’.

Virgil was no stranger to these thoughts, but when panicking like this they were always so much stronger. Virgil gripped his hoodie sleeve tighter and bit his lip, focusing on the motion of him rocking, trying to ignore those thoughts.

Virgil sat like this for a while, hyperventilating and fighting his thoughts before he felt his phone buzz. Virgil glanced up suddenly. He had to know what it was. But in order to do so, he had to calm down.

Struggling to regain control of himself, Virgil began to count his breaths. He looked around the room desperately, trying to use the grounding technique his parents had taught him. 5 things he could see.

His bed, his phone, his hoodie, the wall, his dresser.

Okay, 4 things he could feel

His hoodie in his hands, his bedsheets, the floor beneath his feet, his hair stuck to his face from tears.

3 things he could hear

His breathing, his bed creaking as he rocked, the whirring of the space heater in his room.

2 things he could smell

The animals on his family property (gods those things stink), the fabric softener his parents use on his hoodie.

1 thing he could taste

His mint toothpaste.

Virgil was finally able to loosen his grip on his sleeves and straightened his posture. He took a deep breath and picked up his phone. The buzz had been a response from LoBot3000. It said: "I have received multiple replies and created a place for all of us to converse. I hope you will join us". This message was followed by a link for a discord server. 

Virgil stared at it for a few moments, entirely confused. Discord? Of all things this random stranger chose Discord? “What the actual fuck,” Virgil muttered under his breath. After a few more moments of shock, Virgil rolled his eyes “Why the fuck not.” he muttered, clicking the link.

Virgil was brought to the server and saw the message “You’ve been invited to Lobot3000’s server”. Virgil hit accept and was brought to the text channel. It seemed as if the others were already on. Great, he was late. He read the messages he had missed to catch up.

Lobot3000: Greetings, everyone. I assume we should begin by introducing ourselves. My name is Logan Valley, and I live in Maine. I am 17 years old, and I use he/him pronouns. 

Dee: Janus (call me Dee) he/him 17 florida

PattyCake23: Hey kiddos!!! I’m Patton Faith I’m 15 and use he/him pronouns. I live in Florida too!! :)

Dee: patton wtf we just met these people

PattyCake23: They seem nice!!!

Princey2.0: Greetings, my friends! I am Roman. I also use he/him and I am 18! However I live in sunny California 

Roman, huh. And in California? That was odd. Virgil’s boyfriend was named Roman and lived in California, but they didn't use social media to contact each other, because Roman didn’t want to risk his parents knowing about their relationship. They started as penpals and then exchanged numbers, so Virgil didn’t know his username. Plus, there were probably a lot of people named Roman living in California. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself for asking, and if it wasn’t his Roman, he didn’t think he could take the disappointment.

PattyCake23: Hi Roman!! So that’s almost everyone, we are just missing Virgil, right???

Lobot3000: That would be all of the responses I received, yes.

PattyCake23: While we wait, hru????

‘Great, I made them wait’, Virgil thought as he continued reading.

Lobot3000: I suppose I am managing.

Princey2.0: Worried mostly

Dee: how are you so nice yet with no social skills

PattyCake23: Hey!! I wanted to keep the mood light so we don't get discord-inated!!!

Lobot3000: I am begging you to stop.

Princey2.0: That was adorable <3

Virgil sighed. That was the end of what had previously been said. Now, time for him to join. Virgil typed out his message with both his first and last name, then remembered what Dee had said to Patton and deleted it. He kept it nice and short.

Storm_Cloud: hey guys. I’m Virgil, he/him, 16, Oregon

Princey2.0: Ah, our last member arrives!

Lobot3000: Yes, welcome Virgil.

Storm_Cloud: sorry I was late

Dee: whatever can we do this now?

PattyCake23: It’s okay kiddo!!!

Does this 15-year-old really call other people kiddo? Virgil shook his head, smiling to himself as he waited for the next message, which came from Logan.

Lobot3000: Didn’t you say you were 15?

Of course Logan would point out exactly what he had been thinking. Two more messages came in quickly. Virgil laughed to himself when he saw what Dee had said.

PattyCake23: Yeah, I am!!! Why???

Dee: dont bother hes hopeless

Lobot3000: I suppose we should commence with the purpose of this conversation. Shall we start by comparing notes? Perhaps there is a difference in our situations that could figuratively shed light on what is happening.

Princey2.0: Uh why’d you say figuratively

Lobot3000: Clarity.

PattyCake23: I’ll go first!!! 

Dee: try not to share our entire life story k?

PattyCake23: I woke up and saw my mom in the living room before she collapsed. I woke up Dee (he likes to sleep in) and he couldn’t wake up our mom or our dad. That is when Dee checked to see if this was happening to anyone else and we saw Logan’s post. Now here we are!!!!

Dee: thats basically it yeah

Virgil really didn’t want to talk about the things that had happened that morning, but he didn’t really have a choice, did he? He decided he might as well go next and get it over with, saying as little as possible, while still giving enough information.

Storm_Cloud: basically the same thing happened to me except both my parents were in bed and I called 911 cause I thought they were hurt. no one picked up and that is when I saw the post

Princey2.0: I am ashamed to say it took me quite a while to even notice something was wrong! My parents and brother are out of town. The first thing I did was check Twitter which was when I saw Logan’s post there, then I left and saw one of our staff completely passed out. The whole house was the same

Princey2.0: Then I called my brother and my parents and none of them picked up so i replied to the post agan

Lobot3000: Roman, do you mind me asking where exactly your family went?

Princey2.0: France, why?

Dee: that means its worldwide

Dee: shit

PattyCake23: LANGUAGE!!!

Virgil was panicking about what they had just learned. Worldwide sleep? Had this ever happened before? Why was it happening? Why was he one of the only 5 people awake? Though Virgil knew it wouldn’t entirely get rid of his panic, he decided to express it in a way that would clearly annoy Patton. Anything to make him feel a little better.

Storm_Cloud: fuck

Dee: i like you

Lobot3000: I’m afraid I have nothing else to add. I attempted to wake my parents with no result, and it was the same when I checked on our neighbors. None of the research I conducted answered my questions, either.

Princey2.0: Well since we don’t know what this is or how long it’ll last…

Well, that is true Roman, but you didn’t have to point it out!!!

Storm_Cloud: yeah…

PattyCake23: We should meet up!!! :)

Princey2.0: Precisely what i was thinking <3

Lobot3000: We literally live on opposite sides of the country, Roman.

PattyCake23: But strength in numbers!!! Also, I want to meet you all, you all seem so great!!! <3

Dee: idk we’re all still strangers

PattyCake23: Even better reason to meet up and get to know each other!!!!

Virgil was trying not to laugh as he read the messages from Dee and Patton. They were just so different, it was hilarious!

Storm_Cloud: how are you guys even related?

Dee: i ask tht exact question evry day

Despite the fact that Virgil was finding this conversation very entertaining, he was still extremely concerned about the subject. He didn’t often share his worries, but this one seemed important and Virgil thought it was a fairly reasonable concern.

Storm_Cloud: also, that is a very long trip to make alone, even if we meet up in the middle. not sure i feel comfortable doing that alone…

Princey2.0: Perhaps we could meet in small groups and then rendezvous somewhere else! You and I dont live too far apart

Lobot3000: Correct. Me, Patton, and Janus could meet and then make our way to you all.

Dee: call me janus again and you wont make it to the rendevouz

PattyCake23: That is a great idea!!! And Dee, remember what I said about threatening people… <3

Storm_Cloud: that sounds okay, but how would we get there? I can’t drive

Virgil had gotten amnesia from a car accident, so yeah, the idea of driving kinda freaked him out, even if he didn’t remember the accident.

Dee: steal a car

Did Dee not even read his message?

Storm_Cloud: I. Can’t. Drive.

Dee: learn

Princey2.0: OR I could pick you up somewhere closer to where you live

PattyCake23: No stealing!!! Stealing is wrong!!!

Princey2.0: Uh, I have a car?

Dee: yeah but we don't

Dee and Patton were the best, Virgil decided. They had the best sibling relationship. If Virgil had a sibling, he would want their relationship to be like that. However, Virgil had to pick a side, and Dee was definitely right on this one.

Storm_Cloud: not like anyone is awake to stop us

PattyCake23: That doesn’t make it right

Virgil rolled his eyes.

Storm_Cloud: what are you gonna do, walk?

PattyCake23: ...yes???

Dee: patton i will leave you here i stg

Lobot3000: I can drive and we know Virgil can’t. Can the rest of you drive?

Princey2.0: You did see the part where I’m 18 right?

Dee: obviously 

PattyCake23: I’m 15, so no 

Lobot3000: Very well. Roman can pick up Virgil, while I meet Dee and Patton. After meeting up me and Dee can trade shifts driving until we reach our destination. Does that seem satisfactory?

There was no way Roman could drive for that long without a break. This plan did not seem satisfactory. 

Storm_Cloud: what about Roman? he can’t drive all that way on his own

Lobot3000: Do you have an alternative?

Roman and him could… they could… shit. Virgil had nothing. Virgil sighed, and replied.

Storm_Cloud: I… I guess not

Lobot3000: Then it is settled.

Princey2.0: As thrilling as this conversation is, I think we’re all pretty rattled. Maybe we should take a break for an hour or two so we can all, liki, process and suff before we continue??

PattyCake23: If that is what you need kiddo, we have all the time in the wold!!! <3 How about we meet back on here in 2 hours???

Lobot3000: I suppose there is no urgency.

Perfect. Though this conversation was entertaining, talking to people was not Virgil’s strong suit. Time to duck out.

Storm_Cloud: great. Bye

Virgil signed out before seeing the other’s final messages, closing his phone with a sigh.

After the conversation, Virgil felt a little better. Not great, but a little better. He didn’t like social interaction, and he definitely did not like meeting new people, but at this point, being with another awake human being was all he wanted.

Virgil had some time to kill, as they would have to talk again to finish figuring out the plan before they could even get on the road, so he decided to finally make himself breakfast, although he decided to skip the coffee as he was already awake and on edge. 

He wasn’t a great cook, but Virgil had seen his parents cook and bake enough that he knew how to make simple pancakes and bacon. He considered just eating a bowl of cereal, as that was less effort, but decided the pancakes sounded better and would kill some more time.

After making more pancakes than any one human could possibly consume, and then eating 4 of them, Virgil put the leftovers in the fridge and went back to his room. He knew he couldn’t sit around and do nothing, as being left to his thoughts right now would not end well. Plus, he wanted to help. After a few minutes of contemplation, Virgil decided to pull out his phone. He googled “Can people hear in their sleep”. He found an article with research from Hopkins students about what part of the brain hears things while sleeping, but it was too complicated for him to understand. But he did get his answer, people can hear in their sleep.

Virgil got up and pulled the first Harry Potter book off his shelf. His parents had read it to him when he was younger (he couldn’t remember it, but they told him they did), then again when he was 12 and could remember it. When he was freaking out, they often read parts out loud to him to give him something to focus on. It helped to calm him down.

Virgil brought the book to his parent’s room and crawled into the bed between them, something he had not done in a long time. He leaned back on the pillows and looked at both of them. They looked so peaceful. They didn’t know anything was wrong. Virgil sighed as eyes watered. He swallowed and bit back the tears. He needed to do this. This was something he could do to help.

Slowly, Virgil opened the book to the first chapter and held it above him so he could read it. He began to read in the calmest voice he could: “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive…”. His voice was shaky at first, but as he read on it evened out. He felt himself relax as he too got caught up in the story of magic and mystery and friendship. His parents didn’t move, but he knew they could hear him. And he hoped it was helping.

Virgil stayed in this position, reading, until he felt his phone buzz again. His two hours were up, time to deal with reality once more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! saibug1022 and I are back with another chapter!! I hope you like it!!  
> Not many trigger warnings for this chapter, just some exhaustion and general anxiety

Virgil pulled out his phone, ready to rejoin the conversation and make a plan. Having a plan would help. He read the messages already there, at least he wasn’t last this time:

PattyCake23: Hey guys!!! I’m back!!! How was your break???

Lobot3000: I attempted to conduct more research, but sadly found nothing.

Princey2.0: You sound like the cool teache after winter break XD

Princey2.0: But yeah, that helped a little bit. I’m still worried about my brother, but I’m sure he’s safe

Roman was right, Patton really did sound like the nice teacher after winter break. Virgil bit back a smirk as he typed his reply.

Storm_Cloud: it was fine I guess

Dee: what now?

Lobot3000: I would suggest resuming our previous line of discussion.

PattyCake23: That’s cool with me!!! Where should we meet up then???

Dee: what bout west virginia

Lobot3000: That would be logical, as it is approximately in the middle of the distance between Maine and Florida.

Virgil actually rolled his eyes. Wasn’t Logan supposed to be smart, with his fancy words and stuff? Yet he thought West Virginia was specific enough. Wow. 

Storm_Cloud: y’all are gonna have to be a little more specific. what, are you just gonna hope you end up in the same spot in the whole state? good luck with that

Dee: dont be a bitch thats my job

Lobot3000: Virgil does raise a good point. Perhaps Charleston? It is near the center of the state and there is a town center that should appear on GPS.

PattyCake23: Sounds perfect!!! What about Virgil and Roman???

Princey2.0: I assumed I’d just pick up JD-lightful at his house.

JD-lightful? Really. Virgil almost smiled, thinking of all the nicknames his Roman called him, but then remembered this wasn’t that Roman. It couldn’t be. Either way though, there was no way he was letting this Roman drive all that way without putting in at least some effort to help close the distance.

Storm_Cloud: you really shouldn’t have to drive all that way

Princey2.0: But then you’d have to walk-

Storm_Cloud: I can handle a bit of a walk Princey

Princey2.0: Fine, Doom and Gloom. Where then? Its your state

Storm_Cloud: I live pretty far south, we could meet at the border?

Princey2.0: Where on the border?

Virgil thought for a moment, before replying with a general location that wouldn’t be too hard for Roman to find.

Storm_Cloud: We could meet along interstate 97

Princey2.0: About where the sign at the border is?

Storm_Cloud: yeah

Dee: cool we’ve got our cliques but what about the whole group?

PattyCake23: KANSAS!!!!

Lobot3000: May I ask why you are so excited about Kansas? As far as I’m aware, it is a rather plain state.

PattyCake23: Toto obviously :)

Really? Patton wanted to meet in Kansas because of the dog in the Wizard of Oz? Virgil actually laughed at that, then instinctively checked to see if he had woken his parents, before remembering the situation. Virgil’s smile fell.

Lobot3000: My goodness, you mean the dog from the Wizard of Oz?

Princey2.0: Uh, duh

PattyCake23: Yes I mean the dog!!!

Dee: we watched that movie once when he was like six and hes been obsessed with both it and the dog ever since

Storm_Cloud: I mean, if Pat is so excited about it, Kansas is pretty centered between all of us

Lobot3000: I suppose you’re right. Should we vote, or are there no objections?

Dee: idc

Princey2.0: Same here

Just to bug Patton, Virgil put in the extra effort to type:

Storm_Cloud: I could not give less shits

PattyCake23: YAY!!!! Also, watch your language Virgil

Dee: absolutely do not

Storm_Cloud: don’t worry, I have no intention of doing so

PattyCake23: So, where in Kansas should we meet??? 

Princey2.0: Oh I know! There’s this landmark called Coronado Heights castle in Lindsborg. Kinda hard to miss it since its a tourist attraction and a freakin CASTLE

Of course Princey wanted to meet at a castle. Virgil rolled his eyes, waiting for the others to reply before giving input. He didn’t wanna be the odd one out, and he didn’t really care, so he would agree with whatever they said. 

PattyCake23: That sounds perfect!!! Any objections???

Lobot3000: I suppose not

Dee: can i object just to object?

PattyCake23: Not unless you have a reason

Dee: rude

Storm_Cloud: I’m cool with it

Lobot3000: I must admit, Dee, Patton, you two have quite an amusing relationship

Yes, Logan, stating the obvious. Also, stealing Virgil’s thing, no biggie. Virgil decided not to make a big deal out of it though, no matter how much he wanted to tease the nerd. He did have one final question about the plan though.

Storm_Cloud: yes, I pointed that out before. now, one last question, when are we gonna start traveling?

Lobot3000: That depends, does anyone feel as though they need time to prepare, or will you acquire any necessary supplies as you need it?

PattyCake23: Do you mean stealing??? More stealing, really???

Dee: i fucking hope so

PattyCake23: I know you won’t listen, but I will say it again, language!!!!!

Dee: bite me bitch

Dee: ow he actually bit me!

Did he seriously?! That was the best thing Virgil had ever heard, and he found himself laughing out loud once more.

Storm_Cloud: Patton you are my new favorite person. also, I may need a few hours to prep since I’m walking, but other than that I’m good

Virgil hated to admit it, but that walk was still pretty far and he would need to prep well. It was gonna be at least 8 hours of walking, probably more.

Princey2.0: I’m all good

Lobot3000: Then we can all be ready to depart, and leave whenever we are all ready.

PattyCake23: Sounds good!!! Everyone can go get ready, and message when you’re heading out!!!! Good luck kiddos!!!!! <3

Virgil put his phone away. He looked back at his parents and the book on his lap. He wanted to stay with them, but he knew he couldn’t. With a sigh, Virgil picked up the book and scooted off the bed, heading to his room to get ready. Virgil grabbed his school bag and emptied it, as it was his only backpack. He had just thrown in an extra jacket and shirt when his phone buzzed again. It had been about 10 minutes. He pulled it out to see what was going on. It was a message from Roman.

Princey2.0: Well my Emo Damsel, I am prepared! Just let me know

Great, so now Virgil trying to be helpful with walking was just holding everyone up. Virgil sighed, he had already committed and typed out a quick reply. 

Storm_Cloud: I’m not quite ready, but it shouldn’t be too much longer. Sorry

Prince2.0: Its alright!

Virgil went to put his phone away but felt another buzz and checked. It was Logan this time.

Lobot3000: I am ready to leave as well. Dee, Patton, are you two prepared?

PattyCake23: Just about kiddo!!! See you soon!!!! :)

Dee: if by soon you mean like 10 hourss then yeah

Okay, Virgil really had to hurry up, cause now he was the only one not ready. Virgil began running around frantically, grabbing everything he could think of, but trying to make sure not to bring anything too heavy. It took about a half-hour, mainly because he had a really hard time finding any good walking shoes, he normally wore his old worn combat boots, but those wouldn't do. He had a change of clothes and an extra jacket, a snack, his leftover pancakes and bacon, a water bottle, and a portable charger for his phone. Virgil was about to message the group and leave when he saw something on his bed. It was the Harry Potter book.

Virgil looked at it for a moment. He really shouldn’t add the weight to his bag, but some part of him was telling him to bring it. After some internal debate, he gave in and grabbed the book, throwing it into his bag before messaging the chat.

Storm_Cloud: okay, I’m ready

Princey2.0: Then I shall see you in a few hours

Storm_Cloud: yep

Virgil put on his headphones and glanced at his room one more time. He didn’t know what journey was ahead, but he had a feeling it would be a while before he was back in this room. Virgil bit back his tears as he closed the door and left his house behind, trying not to think about what was ahead.

About 3 hours into walking, Virgil was exhausted and had to take a break. He found a bench and sat down. He knew he couldn’t stop for long, he had to be at the border in a few hours, but he just needed a moment.

The weather had been fairly cooperative so far, except for the cold, but as he got up to continue walking, he felt a raindrop hit him. That was just great. He had to keep moving or he’d be late, especially cause the rain could slow him down. Virgil braced himself against the soreness in his feet and kept walking, preparing to get very wet.

5 hours later, and Virgil was soaked. He couldn’t feel his fingers, he doubted even his changes of clothes were dry. He was tired and he was hungry and it was getting dark and he should have just let Roman pick him up at his house. It was too late now though. Virgil decided to stop in a shop and eat his pancakes, he deserved it.

After eating his pancakes, Virgil felt slightly more energized, though still exhausted, so he decided to snatch a premade coffee while he was there. It was disgusting, but at least it would give him enough energy to power through the last hour of his walk. Virgil debated with himself, feeling bad for stealing but knowing there was no other way, then grabbed a second coffee to throw in his backpack as well, before heading back out into the seemingly never-ending rain.

An hour later, the sign was in sight. Virgil sighed in relief as he dragged his feet the last quarter mile. There wasn’t anyone there yet, so Virgil just sat down in the grass by the sign, not caring if he got anymore wet, as he was already soaked. 

He was beginning to panic as it had been nearly an hour and Roman had not yet arrived. Virgil pulled out his phone, ready to send a message to make sure everything was okay when he heard a honk and jumped. He looked up to see a red  2019 Audi a6  pulled over near him. He wanted to get up and walk over, but he was just so tired his body wouldn’t listen, so he just sat there as the person Virgil assumed was Roman parked the car. What shocked Virgil was when he saw the person that stepped out of the car. It was… it was  _ his _ Roman.

He watched as his Roman closed the car door. He was latina with curly hair and freckles. He was tall, and god was he handsome.

Virgil pulled himself up against the sign, trying to look like less of a disaster as he met his boyfriend in person for the first time. Roman smiled, then sprinted over and wrapped him in his arms, lifting him off the ground in a huge hug. A giggle escaped Virgil’s mouth as Roman set him down. He tried to keep himself up, but his legs were so tired they just gave out, but Roman caught him and helped him up.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment, just drinking in the sight of the other person, Virgil taking in the sight of Roman’s beautiful green eyes. Finally, Virgil spoke, “It’s you” He said simply.

“It’s me,” Roman said, a laugh in his voice. “God, if I’d known it was you I would have insisted on picking you up. I’m sorry, but you look awful.”

Virgil tried to suppress a smile, “wow, thanks,” He said sarcastically, “now, as much as I’d love to stay in this moment forever, I am freezing and wet and would really like to get out of the rain.”

“Oh shit,” Roman cursed. “Right. Don’t worry, once it started raining, I pulled over at some truck stop thing and grabbed a few towels, so you can get dried off too. Come on, let’s get you in the car.” Roman released Virgil and grabbed his hand instead as they began to walk to the car, but Vigil immediately stumbled over his own feet.

“Damn it,” Virgil cursed as he caught his balance, “Walking nearly 10 hours really wears a person out apparently.” Vigil chuckled and went to walk toward the car again, but Roman without warning scooped Virgil up and carried him bridal style to the car, “hey!” Virgil objected, “put me down!”

“Nah. Relax, Batwing, it’s only a few feet and you’ve been walking for like ten hours. Let me take care of you, idiot.” Roman said, not putting him down.

“Whatever,” Virgil muttered, rolling his eyes. It didn’t mean much though, as Virgil also snuggled closer to Roman’s chest, stealing the warmth and soaking Roman’s shirt with his wet hair.

“Thank you,” Virgil said. Roman chuckled. Roman placed Virgil into the back of the car and quickly went to grab the towels. He basically buried Virgil in towels before going to the front seat to start the car and turning the heat all of the way up. Virgil sighed in relief as Roman crawled into the back and snuggled up next to Virgil.

“When you introduced yourself I thought it might be you, but I was too scared to ask, I figured it was someone else. I’m so glad it’s you.” Virgil said as he snuggled against Roman, shutting his eyes and finally beginning to relax. 

“I was terrified for you,” Roman admitted quietly. “When I couldn’t wake anyone up and then Remus didn’t answer the phone... I didn’t even try to call you because I was too scared you wouldn’t answer.”

“Me too,” Virgil murmured, his voice growing quieter as he drifted off to sleep, “plus, there was a lot of other stuff going on, I barely had a chance to think,” Virgil shifted a little and spoke again, trying to get the sleep out of his voice. He couldn’t sleep now, not with everything going on, what if he didn’t wake up. “Coffee in my bag,” He muttered to Roman, “get coffee please.”

“Virge, darling, you’re exhausted,” Roman pointed out, his voice gentle. “You’ve already been awake all day, you’re completely soaked, and you’ve been walking that whole time. Not to mention the day has been emotionally taxing on both of us. Just let yourself sleep.”

Virgil normally didn’t talk about his worries and anxieties, but this was Roman,  _ his _ Roman, who had seen his art and talked him down from anxiety attacks, this was the Roman that was the only person outside his parents that knew of his anxiety disorder. He could trust him with anything, so a worry like this was no big deal to voice. “What if I don’t wake up?” Virgil asked quietly.

“If you were going to stay asleep you wouldn’t have woken up this morning,” Roman pointed out. “Go to sleep, I’m right here. You’re safe.”

“Okay,” Virgil said, snuggling back into Roman. Roman ran his fingers through Virgil’s hair and Virgil sighed. He hadn’t felt this relaxed and safe in a long time, and it was the middle of the apocalypse! Yet somehow, Roman could always calm him down. “Are you gonna sleep.” Virgil mumbled into Roman’s shirt, “you’re probably tired too.”

“Are you sure?” Roman asked. “I should probably start driving.”

“Sleep,” Virgil said in response, “drive tomorrow, sleep now.”

“Alright, alright,” Roman sighed. “Wait, I should probably let the others know.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Virgil mumbled, before shifting slightly and closing his eyes. Normally he had trouble falling asleep, but with how tired he was, and with Roman right here, he felt safe, and sleep took him away almost immediately. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Next chapter will be in a week, we will get to see a little more Prinxiety before the group meets up. Thanks for reading!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!!! By the way we're gonna do interludes on Wednesday, mine in Remus's POV and saibug's in Roman's!!  
> Trigger warnings: Panic attack, mentions of car accident, mentions of brain injury/amnesia

The next morning Virgil woke up slowly to the gentle sound of a car moving quickly along a road. He groaned, and felt the car pull over and come to a stop as he tried to roll over, and instead fell off the seat.

“Fuck,” Virgil mumbled under his breath, sitting up as he heard a door open and close. Suddenly the side door he was facing opened and he saw a smiling Roman standing there, clearly trying not to laugh at the mess. Virgil was on the floor tangled in a pile of damp towels, wearing damp clothes, and looking very annoyed.

“Well good morning Sunshine,” Roman snickered.

“Shut up Princey,” Virgil muttered, trying to untangle himself from the towels with limited success. After a few moments of watching with an amused expression, Roman leaned into the car to help. “How long have you been up driving?” Virgil asked.

“About two hours, I had to stop and get gas first,” Roman answered once Virgil was free from his linen prison. 

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Virgil asked, irritated, “I could have helped!”

“Do I have to point out for like the third time that you walked for hours and almost passed out?” Roman raised an eyebrow. “Plus, you can’t drive, so I’m not sure how much help you would’ve been. Speaking of…”

“Speaking of…” Virgil prompted, deciding not to respond to the other points Roman had made.

“I was thinking maybe I could teach you?” Roman’s eyes went to the floor and he hurried on before Virgil could say anything. “You never actually told me why you didn’t want to learn, but you  _ have  _ told me I reassure you and stuff so I thought maybe you’d feel safer with me? Plus with everything going on, driving might be a good skill to have, you know?”

Virgil was quiet for a moment. He really wanted to say yes, he was just scared. He sighed, “I dunno… it’s just… it’s kinda a long story,” Virgil sighed, “I want to help, I just don’t know if… I don’t know, it’s stupid, it’s not like I even remember it.”

It was obvious on Roman’s face that he didn't want to pry, because driving had always kind of been a sensitive subject, but he asked anyway: “Remember what?”

Virgil hesitated and bit his lip. He started tugging at his hoodie sleeves as he considered his response. He could tell Roman, he trusted him more than anyone, and it wouldn’t really do any harm. But he had never told anyone before, he didn’t know if he could. Suddenly, Virgil felt hands grab his and looked up to see that Roman had gotten into the car and was holding his hands. His expression was encouraging, but not pushy. Virgil sighed, making his decision, and began to speak:

“I was in a car accident when I was 12. I don’t remember it, but that is the problem. I don’t remember anything before the accident. That accident… It took away 12 years of my life. It’s stupid cause I can’t even remember it, but ever since then, something about the idea of driving just freaked me out. That’s also why I never talk about my childhood, I don’t remember it.” Virgil glanced up at Roman’s expression, nervous for his reaction.

“I’d always wondered,” Roman admitted. “But I didn’t want to push. Virgil I completely get it. Even if you don’t actually remember the accident, it still had a huge effect on you. But you also can’t let it control you. Something I told Remus when we were kids and Remus’s imagination kept conjuring up things to be afraid of: don’t think of it as part of you, think of it as your Boogeyman. Sure it affects you and you may never be rid of it, but it can’t hurt you. Let me help you. There’s no cars on the road, and it’s just us. I promise you won’t get hurt. Would I ever let anything happen to you?”

“No,” Virgil replied, trying to stop the tears in his eyes from falling. “I guess if there is any time to learn it’s now.” He said finally. “Okay, let's do it.” Roman smiled at Virgil and pulled him out of the car. Virgil hugged his hoodie a little closer as Roman led him to the drivers side and opened the door for him. Virgil got in slowly. Roman got settled into the passenger seat and grabbed Virgils hand, looking right into his eyes. 

Virgil could see the question in his eyes. He was making sure Virgil was okay with this. If he really didn’t want to, Roman would let it go and drive the entire way. That was exactly why Virgil had to do this. He swallowed his fear and nodded, and Roman let go of his hand, going into teacher mode.

“Okay, put your hands on opposite sides of the steering wheel,” Roman instructed. Virgil did this without a word, “Perfect. Now, put your foot on the break. Good. Then turn the key.” Virgil hesitated for a moment, before taking a deep breath and turning the key. He felt the car rumble to a start under him. He jumped slightly and quickly moved his hand back to the steering wheel, gripping it tightly.

“Now you are going to have to put the car in drive,” Roman said. He saw how tense Virgil was and the tightness of his grip on the steering wheel and hesitated. “Nightshade, are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to if you don’t think you’re ready, it’s okay.”

Virgil hesitated for a moment. He didn’t feel ready, but at the same time, he probably never would, and if there was any time to push through the fear, it was now. “I’m sure.” He replied simply, not looking at Roman.

“If you want to stop just let me know, okay?” 

Virgil gave a quick nod, and then put the car in drive, pushing down on the break as hard as he could. 

“You are going to have to take your foot off the break now,” Roman said gently. “Take your time.”

After a few minutes of sitting there, frozen in fear, Virgil took his foot off the brake, and the car began rolling. He yelped and put his foot back down quickly. He looked over at Roman, who looked concerned, and took a deep breath. He had to do this, for Roman.

He took his foot off the break once more, but let the car roll forward on the road slowly. They were barely moving, Virgil told himself, trying to ease the panic. It didn’t work. Virgil was almost sure he was going to have a panic attack when he felt a hand on his arm. It was Roman. Virgil glanced over at him to see him smiling, his face open and encouraging. Virgil nodded to himself and turned to look back at the road he was rolling down.

“Now,” Roman began, “You are going to press gently on the gas. You will get a feel for how hard to push for what speed pretty quickly, but start gently.”

Virgil focused on the pressure of Roman’s hand on his arm as he switched his foot to hover over the gas. He felt Roman squeeze his arm, supporting him. Virgil lowered his foot slowly. When his foot made contact with the pedal, he hesitated, but pushed down anyways.

The car began to move faster. 10MPH. 15. 20. 25. Suddenly, they hit 30 and Virgil panicked. He slammed his foot on the break, sending both him and Roman slamming against the seatbelts, and put the car in park, breathing quickly.

Roman immediately jumped into action. He’d talked Virgil down from an impending panic attack often enough that he knew what to do. “Virgil look at me. Don't focus on the road, focus on my voice, okay?”

Virgil looked over at Roman. He looked into those beautiful green eyes that were so expressive. He couldn’t speak, but he nodded, showing that he was listening.

“You were doing good, I promise,” Roman assured him. “You’re okay, I’m okay, and no one else was hurt either. This is probably the most risk-free environment you could learn to drive-in and there is absolutely no rush, okay? You can take your time, you don’t have to move too fast, and you can always back out, I promise I won’t get angry. You are completely in control Virgil.”

Virgil took a deep breath and nodded. They sat looking at each other and holding hands for a few minutes, until Virgil nodded again, “okay, I’m ready.” He said with more determination than before.

Virgil turned to face the road again and grabbed the steering wheel. He put the car in drive and pressed the gas. He stopped accelerating when he reached 25, but he kept going. Eventually, Roman instructed him to take a couple turns, explaining the mechanics of right and left turns, and Virgil caught on pretty fast. By the end of the hour, Roman had Virgil going at 45 MPH and taking turns almost perfectly. Finally, Virgil pulled over.

“I knew you could do it!” Roman praised, his grin so wide Virgil was worried it might split his face open. “See, it’s not as hard as you think it is, especially once you get the hang of it.”

“Yeah,” Virgil admitted, trying to suppress his own smile, “I guess it wasn’t so bad. But that probably had something to do with what an amazing teacher I had.” Virgil glanced at Roman from under his bangs, a blush rising in his cheeks.

“Aww, Virge!” Roman swooned exaggeratedly, a hand flying to cover his heart. “You little flirt!”

Virgil rolled his eyes at Roman’s dramatics. Yet he couldn’t stop the blush that continued to deepen in his cheeks. Roman was so much better in person. The sparkle in his eyes, his energy, his adorable freckles, Virgil just couldn’t stop looking at him. “Whatever,” Virgil mumbled into his hoodie as he tried to hide his face.

“Hey,” Roman reached over and cupped the side of Virgil’s face and used the other hand to brush Virgil’s bangs out of his face and his eyes shone with his delight at finally being able to do that. “There are those beautiful eyes. I’m proud of you, by the way. Sure anyone can drive, but not everyone is brave enough to face their fears like that.”

Virgil looked directly into Roman’s eyes, his white eye and brown eye meeting Roman’s green ones with such love and care that their eyes could only share half of it. “I’m not all that brave,” Virgil mumbled, suddenly feeling very self conscious, not used to having so much attention on him.

“Virgil Tempest you are one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.” Roman paused suddenly looking much more unsure than he had a second ago when he was showering Virgil with compliments. “Virge...can I kiss you?”

Virgil’s eyes widened. His brain was too flustered to form words, so he just gave a quick nod. Suddenly, Roman had closed the small distance between them and pressed his lips against Virgil’s. Virgil's eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into the kiss. Roman’s lips were warm and slightly dry as they pressed against Virgil’s. Roman used his hands already cupped around Virgil’s face to pull him closer. Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck to hold him there, never wanting this moment to end. Yet, sadly, oxygen was a necessary thing.

Virgil and Roman separated, but only slightly, leaving less than an inch between their faces. Virgil leaned forward and rested his forehead against Roman’s with a sigh, moving his hands through Roman’s hair. Roman's hands dropped to wrap around Virgil’s waist. He rested his hands on Virgils back and drew swirls as they sat there, gasping and smiling.

“That was my first kiss,” Virgil admitted, not moving from his position. They were so close Roman could feel the warmth of Virgil’s breath when he spoke.

“I hope it was as good as you were hoping for,” Roman said, letting out a breathy laugh.

“It was better,” Virgil replied without thinking. Immediately his face turned bright red as he tried to pull away in embarrassment, but Roman held him there, laughing lightly. 

“Then I have succeeded in my quest,” Roman said. “To be the best boyfriend you could ever hope for.”

Virgil didn’t know it was possible for him to turn even more red, but it happened as he failed to suppress the grin that came. “Definitely,” Virgil replied, before closing the distance between them once more.

When they finally separated once more, Virgil reluctantly pointed out that they needed to get going. With a sigh, Roman leaned back into his seat, wishing him and Virgil would have stayed in that moment forever. Roman offered to drive, but Virgil refused. What was the point of him learning if he didn’t use it. I mean, sure it got him that wonderful kiss, but he was still determined to use his newfound skill to help Roman. After Virgil had driven for a few hours (he actually got to 65 MPH eventually), Roman insisted he take over. So they pulled over to eat, then Roman began to drive. 

Virgil found himself exhausted once more. He was still extremely sore from his long walk. Roman had noticed how stiff Virgil was when moving, which is part of the reason he made him stop driving. Virgil leaned back in the passenger seat, reaching for his coffee again, not wanting to fall asleep, but Roman reached out and stopped him.

“Don’t you dare touch that coffee,” Roman said, barely even having to glance at Virgil. “Coffee is not the solution for muscle exhaustion, Nightingale. You woke up this morning again, didn’t you? You’ll be fine. Take a nap, I’ll wake you when it’s your turn to drive.”

Virgil nodded, giving in easily, and fell into a light sleep. Virgil slept longer than he should have, because when he woke up to Roman humming along to the Disney playlist he was playing, it was dark. Virgil groaned and looked over at Roman, not wanting to move as he was horribly sore. Roman handed him a bottle of ibuprofen he had stolen while Virgil was asleep without a word. Virgil took it and grabbed his water to take the medicine. 

Annoyed Roman hadn’t woken him up, Virgil said, “How long have you been driving? My shift was probably hours ago!”

“But you looked so peaceful!” Roman protested. “Plus you need the sleep more than me, and we’re only like an hour away anyway.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, deciding there was no point in arguing over something that had already happened, and relaxed into his seat, preparing himself to meet the rest of the group. This was gonna be interesting to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys!!!


	4. Remus Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here guys! Remus has arrived, and now you will see what has been going on with him... :)  
> Trigger warnings: Abuse, cult activity

Remus had his bags packed and was ready to head out the door, yet he hesitated. This was the last time he would see his twin before the sleep. The last time he would see his favorite person before their relationship changed forever.

He knew Roman was in his room. He had already said goodbye nearly an hour ago and he was probably working on homework or scrolling through twitter at this point. He knew going up to say goodbye again would cause suspicion, as he never did that, but he couldn’t help himself. Roman was his twin. Roman was his better half. Every time Remus got lost in his thoughts, every time he got lost in a world so much worse than the real one, Roman was there. He couldn’t just leave like this. He couldn’t let this end without a true goodbye.

Remus looked out the window to make sure his parents were busy. He knew he couldn’t say anything to Roman about what was happening, but at least he could remind him of how much he loved him. He would always be his brother, his twin.

Remus walked up the stairs to Roman’s room slowly, dreading the final goodbye. He was not surprised when he found Roman sprawled on his bed, listening to Disney music while on the phone with his boyfriend, Virgil.

God, Roman’s boyfriend. Roman talked about Virgil all the time, but only to Remus. Remus was the only one who knew about Roman’s boyfriend. Not only would Roman lose Remus in the sleep, but he would lose Virgil too. Remus shook his head quickly, trying not to think about it. Trying not to think about how hurt Roman will be. At least Roman will be awake.

Remus knocked, even though the door was open, and Roman looked up in surprise.

“Hey Ro,” Remus said, “Can I talk to you real quick?”

"Yeah sure," Roman nodded. "Sorry Virge, I gotta go. I'll call you later. Love you!" 

“Yeah, talk to you later,” Remus heard Virgil say, before ending the call. Roman had told him the Virgil wasn’t ready to say ‘I love you’. Remus had expected Roman to be upset and hurt when that had happened, but Roman had just accepted it, saying he didn’t need to hear it, because he knew. Remus walked in and sat down on the bed next to his twin.

“I just wanted to say bye again before I headed out,” Remus said, trying to act casual when really he was fighting the tears that came with the thoughts running through his head. He knew keeping Roman awake was the right thing to do, he had to keep him safe from the demon, yet Remus still felt he was doing more harm than good.

"Uh okay?" Roman frowned a little but sat up in his bed. "Is everything okay? You're acting a little weird."

“Yeah, yeah, everything is good,” Remus said, brushing off Roman’s concern. “Just… just… I love you, you know that, right? I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.” Remus bit his lip. He had said too much, he knew it, yet he had to say it. He needed Roman to understand. He needed him to know that he wasn’t trying to hurt him. 

"Okay you're kinda freaking me out now." Roman laid a hand over Remus's. "Rem, whatever's going on you can tell me? Did Mom and Dad pull something. I swear to God if they did something-"

“No, no, it’s fine, everything is fine,” Remus cut him off. He was getting just a little too close to the truth. He sat there for a moment, looking at his twin. His eyes were full of concern and love. God, Remus loved him so much. Finally, Remus pulled Roman into a hug, swallonging back his tears, “I’m so sorry,” Remus whispered, “I am so, so sorry.”

Then, without giving Roman a chance to respond, Remus released him and left, finally letting the tears fall as he ran out of the room, leaving Roman confused and worried. Remus took a moment to compose himself, wiping away the tears and he grabbed his bag. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the inevitable, and walked out the door, leaving Roman alone and in the dark.

Remus and his parents had been gone for a couple days when the sleep hit. He woke up in the morning and everything was silent. It was a silence that closed in on you, pushing in from every angle. It was unnatural. 

He had been up for only an hour when his phone rang. He looked at it and saw the caller ID, which read “Disaster Gay ❤️”. It was Roman. Remus bit his lip, trying not to answer. His resolve was almost gone when his dad walked in and saw what was happening. His dad grabbed Remus’s phone from his hand and threw it against the wall. It shattered.

“Weak,” Remus’s dad hissed, “Ignore that idiot. He is a coward.”

Remus nodded stiffly, refusing to cry in front of his dad. His dad handed him a burner phone. “Use this, you’ll get a call with orders soon.” His dad said, before walking away. Remus stared at the phone, an idea hitting him.

He had never agreed with the cult, but he had no choice but to stay. They threatened to kill Roman if he left. But, that didn’t mean he had to help the cult. If he could find a way to get this phone to Roman, he could convey information to him. The cult would surely give him a new one if he said he had lost it or broken it. Remus allowed himself a slight smile. Maybe he could salvage his relationship after all, if he could help Roman stop the cult, then maybe everything could be okay.

About 10 hours of doing nothing and trying to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay (and failing miserably without Roman’s help), the phone rang. Remus jumped, and hesitated. He really didn’t want to answer it. He wanted to pretend this wasn’t happening. He wanted to sit with Roman and make dumb, inapropriate jokes about the situation that Roman would laugh at even if he didn’t think they were funny. But he couldn't. Remus answered the phone.

“Hello Remus, I have a task for you,” A voice said on the other end.

Remus swallowed. “What is it?” He asked.

“We have gained intel that the awake people are meeting at the Coronado Heights castle in Lindsborg, Kansas tomorrow evening. You have been tasked with ambushing them with a small group and taking them out.”

Remus tried to resist the urge to scream. Of course this was his first task, to kill a bunch of harmless people that were confused and scared. Remus sucked in a breath and replied, knowing he didn’t have a choice. “Cool,” Remus said, trying to sound casual, “I’ll meet my group at the castle in the morning.”

“Good luck,” The voice said, before hanging up. Remus slowly lowered the phone away from his ear. What was he going to do? What if Roman was there? 

Wait… what if Roman  _ was _ there? This could be the perfect opportunity to slip him the phone. And even if he wasn’t, he could slip it to someone else, and at least he could still help. Remus sighed, solidifying the plan in his head. 

And he hoped, in vain, that if Roman was there, he would remember his words from the final night: Just… just… I love you, you know that, right? I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. He hoped Roman would remember his apology. He hoped Roman would believe him. 

The next morning, he found himself in front of the castle in Kansas. He had a group of four cultists. They were gonna have one person lead the people to an alley behind the castle. Then they would ambush them, and during the fight (which Remus really hoped didn’t get too bad), he would slip Roman (or someone else) the phone. It was going to be okay, he told himself, it was all going to be okay.

He almost believed it, but all those positive thoughts flew out of his head when a few hours later their bait came back, with three excited and confused looking teenagers running after her. And those were the Faith kids.

“Fuck”, Remus muttered to himself as they walked towards him, “This isn’t good”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... please don't kill me.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading!!!  
> If you read this first, make sure to read the Roman interlude by saibug1022 as well. The fluff will make you feel better


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry this is a little later then saibug1022's, I missed their text. But here it is now, Virgil's end of his chapter, I hope you enjoy!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Guns, knives, fight, blood, injuries, mentions of death, head injury, panic attack  
> stay safe!!

Virgil and Roman arrived at the meeting place fairly late in the evening. It was dark, but they still saw the car parked by the castle and pulled up next to it. Roman was smiling nervously while Virgil frowned at his phone.

“They didn’t message us when they got here,” Virgil pointed out, infinite worries and possibilities flying through his head, “You think they’re okay?”

“Of course they are,” Roman assured him.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I just worry.”

“I’m always right.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and then the two got out of the car and looked in the car they were parked beside. It was a blue Volkswagen Jetta. There was no one inside.

Virgil bit his lip as his worries threatened to overwhelm him. Why didn’t they tell them where they were? Had something happened? Were they hurt? Had they fallen asleep?

Suddenly, Virgil felt Roman's hand grab his, and he looked up into Roman’s eyes.

“Hey,” Roman squeezed Virgil’s hand. “It’s gonna be fine.”

Virgil nodded, and the two began to walk toward the castle. As they got closer, Virgil began to feel an odd pulling sensation, as if someone was tugging at a rope embedded in his chest, pulling him toward something. He was about to say something when his foot hit something hard.

Virgil leaned down and picked it up. It was a phone, and it had the server open. The screen had a crack in it as if it had been dropped in a hurry. Virgil showed it to Roman.

“It must be one of theirs,” Virgil said quietly, “Something is going on here.”

“Yeah something is not right with this picture,” Roman mused, looking around. “We need to find them.”

“I think…” Virgil hesitated. He was about to sound insane, but the tugging in his chest just kept getting stronger, until it was almost painful. Virgil put a hand over his chest absently. “Nevermind.”

“What is it?”

“I just… I have this weird feeling,” Virgil hesitated, trying to describe it, “Almost as if I’m being pulled toward something.” Virgil glanced at Roman and hurriedly added, “It doesn’t make any sense, I know, I just feel like it might lead to something.”

“Okay…” Roman frowned but gestured for Virgil to lead on. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I don’t have a better idea either.”

Virgil smirked, “Yeah, okay. Follow me.” He held Roman’s hand, pulling him behind as he quickly moved in the direction the tugging was pulling him toward. As he got closer, the tugging got harder and harder, until Virgil could barely breathe. He paused for a moment, gasping.

“Sorry, it just...it’s so strong. Need a moment.” Virgil took in another breath as Roman sat him down. This wasn’t a panic attack, it was something neither of them had experienced or knew how to deal with. Whatever was happening was entirely new.

Virgil watched Roman as he glanced around, confused, then kneeled in front of Virgil, taking both his hands. Roman didn’t say anything, he just looked right into Virgil’s eyes, and Virgil looked back. They sat like that for a moment. The tugging feeling stayed just as strong, but eventually Virgil was able to breath again. Virgil nodded and stood up.

“Okay, we’ve gotta keep moving. Whatever it is, we are really close.” Virgil said. Roman nodded as Virgil led the way, taking them toward a dark alley behind the castle. They heard a loud thump come from the alley, along with a yelp. Virgil glanced at Roman, whose eyes were filled with panic, and he realized his worries hadn’t just been worries. Roman let go of Virgil’s hand and ran in the direction of the noise, Virgil following as the feeling grew. Virgil rounded the corner to see Roman running toward someone with a gun. 

“What the fuck,” Virgil said, the words having slipped out without a thought.

Many people in green clothes were attacking three other teenagers. One person in green had a gun held to the head of a boy who looked around Virgil’s age. Roman was already running toward that person, so Virgil refocused on the other threat. A person in green held a knife inches from another teenage boy’s face. The boy appeared to have a large birthmark on his face, though that was mostly obscured by the blood coming from the cut on his cheekbone.

Fight-or-flight kicked in as Virgil ran toward the person with a knife, throwing all his weight into it as he lunged at the person, causing them both to fall to the ground. Virgil scrambled to his feet, but the other person stayed down. Virgil sighed and turned to the person he assumed was an ally.

“You okay?” Virgil asked.

“Fine,” The boy panted, glaring up at him. “I had that.”

Virgil rolled his eyes then turned toward Roman, who was looking at one of the attackers in shock. Virgil followed his line of sight just in time to see Roman’s twin brother, Remus, run off with the other attackers in tow. Or at least, he assumed it was Remus, considering the striking resemblance to Roman and clear age similarity.

Virgil looked back at Roman, who appeared to be very upset, though he was trying to hide it. He wanted to ask if he was okay, or well, what he could do, cause clearly Roman wasn’t okay, but then Roman turned away, extending a hand toward the boy who he had saved. Once he was up, the stranger spoke, taking his attention away from Roman.

"Roman and Virgil I presume?" The person said. Ah, this must be Logan. He spoke just as fancy in real life as he did when messaging.

"Yup," Roman nodded. He was such a good actor, Virgil was almost convinced he hadn’t just been deeply betrayed by his twin brother. Almost. "I'm Roman, that's Virgil."

“Sup,” Virgil said, giving Logan a shy wave before he approached Roman and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. Maybe they couldn’t talk about it now, but he would do what he could to support his boyfriend nonetheless.

“Guys, Dee is hurt!” Someone, who Virgil assumed was Patton, yelled. Patton was leaning over the teenage boy Virgil had saved, who he now knew was Dee. Patton was short, shorter than Virgil which wasn’t something Virgil often saw, and had soft looking wavy blond hair and blue eyes. “He is gonna need stitches, someone grab my bag from Logan's car!!”

“I’m fine Pat,” Virgil heard Dee mumble. Virgil rolled his eyes, clearly the boy was not fine. He looked one nudge away from passing out as he leaned heavily on the wall. “It’s just a scratch.”

“It is clearly more than a scratch!” Patton leaned over and gestured at Dee’s leg where his pants were stained with blood.Virgil noticed a large red spot on his pants, which were covered in blood from the large gash on Dee’s thigh. “Sit down, now!”

Despite the situation, Virgil found himself biting back a laugh as he once again marvelled at the relationship of these two brothers. He watched as Dee lowered himself to the ground with Patton's help, jumping when he heard a voice beside him.

“I’ll get the bag,” Roman said, suddenly letting go of Virgil’s hand. “The little blue car, right?”

“Yes,” Logan replied. Meanwhile, Virgil and Roman were having a silent conversation with their eyes.

‘Are you sure’ Virgil asked silently

‘Fine.’ Roman replied

‘Do you want me to come?’

‘I just need a minute alone, stay with them.’

Virgil hesitated for another moment, wanting to help more but not knowing how. Finally, he nodded, and Roman left to head to the car. For a moment, they were all silent. Virgil was trying to process what had just happened. He had walked in on a fight, and tackled someone? He had never done that before, he didn’t know the first thing about self defense. Virgil turned to Logan, getting ready to ask what all had happened, when he noticed Logan’s eyes growing blue. Suddenly, the feeling in his chest became stronger. He felt it pushing on him from all angles as something fought the feeling.

“Dude, you okay? Your eyes are really… blue” Virgil commented, trying to keep his composure. Not only was the sensation extremely unnerving, but damn, this boy was hot enough as it was, and now with blue glowing eyes, shit. He was tall, which was kinda Virgil’s thing, but not as tall as Roman. He had an extremely defined jawline with straight black hair, and with his normally grey eyes glowing blue… Virgil wasn’t sure he could handle it.

“Wait, blue!?” Patton said, suddenly looking up from Dee. Okay, so clearly something was going on, something Patton knew about. Virgil turned to Patton.

“Yeah, what the fuck is going on?” Virgil replied, refocusing on the problem at hand as he tore his eyes away from Logan’s.

“Logan… you need to calm down-” Patton started, getting up from where he sat next to Dee. Virgil heard Logan mumbling, saying this was all his fault. While Virgil didn’t know everything that was happening here, he knew what a panic attack looked like. Virgil took a deep breath, trying to ignore the horrible tugging and pressure building in his chest as he turned back to Logan, whose eyes were even more blue than before.

Logan was muttering something else now, but Virgil couldn’t understand it. He vaguely noticed pebbles and dirt beginning to rise up from the ground, but was too distracted by the overwhelming pressure in his chest that he felt would explode at any moment. Trying to distract himself, Virgil focused his attention on Logan. He could calm him down, that was something he could do.

Virgil heard groaning and clanging metal, and noticed more things beginning to move. The pressure in his chest built even more. It would explode any second, then what would happen, was Virgil gonna die?

He cut off his own thoughts. Logan, Virgil reminded himself, he had to help Logan.

Virgil approached Logan slowly, reaching out his hand to touch the other boy’s shoulder. “Dude, you gotta calm down,” Virgil said as he continued to walk toward him, “This wasn’t your fault, everyone is ok-”

Suddenly, the pressure in his chest exploded, releasing him from it’s tense prison and leaving only the tugging feeling in its wake. Virgil was momentarily relieved, before he realized his feet weren’t on the ground anymore.

It was as if he was moving in slow motion. He felt the air move through his hair. He felt pebbles pelt his arms as he flew. He only had a moment to close his eyes, accepting that this was it. This was the end. He was going to die.

After what felt like an eternity, Vigil heard an ear splitting crack, and felt pain move through his head as he felt himself fall to the ground. Virgil laid there, unable to move, unable to register what had just happened, yet still able to watch as the tornado of trash and metal and dirt flew through the air.

Was this what happens when you die? You just continued to watch the world through the eyes of your body? How long would he have to stare at the top of a coffin before he finally decayed, and was set free?

Pain shot through Virgil’s head once more as he heard a loud screech. He watched as the dumpster in the alley compacted itself as it flew through the air. Suddenly, it hit Virgil. He wasn’t dead. He was here and something bad was happening, and Logan was the source, he knew it. The pressure in his chest returned tenfold, pulling him to Logan, as Virgil forced himself to move.

The world spun around him and suddenly he leaned over and vomited up all the snacks he had eaten on the drive with Roman. Brilliant. Virgil wiped his mouth on his sleeve and steadied himself against the wall, swallowing. He found a very blurry Logan, standing across the alley, and tried to move toward him, but stumbled.

“LOGAN!” Virgil yelled, feeling the sound ring through his head painfully. Logan looked over at him suddenly, “Logan, Listen to me! This was NOT your fault. I am okay. Everyone is okay, okay? Listen to ME!”

Virgil knew he hadn’t helped. He knew because he could feel the pressure in his chest, just as strong as before. He didn’t understand it, but somehow, he knew it was Logan causing this pressure and tugging, Logan causing this chaos and destruction, and he had to stop him. He had to help.

“I can’t control it!” Logan yelled. “You have to go, get out of here!”

Virgil scoffed. Sure, escaping sounded like a lovely option, if only 2 of the people here weren’t too injured to move at any decent speed. Virgil wobbled where he stood, trying to focus on the out of focus Logan ahead of him. Wait, there were 3 Logans? Which one should he look at? Probably the middle one, right?

Virgil settled on the middle one as he considered his next words. He thought back to the conversation he had had with Roman, when Roman was going to teach him to drive. “don’t think of it as part of you, think of it as your Boogeyman. Sure it affects you and you may never be rid of it, but it can’t hurt you.” Virgil took a deep breath, then yelled,

“Yes, you can control it!” Virgil yelled, slowly moving closer to Logan. He wobbled but kept his balance, using the wall to steady him as the world spun around him. The flying objects definitely were not helping his dizziness. “This is only a part of you, it is not who you are! This doesn’t control you. It’s just your BoogieMan. It affects you, yeah, but it doesn’t control you. You can fight it, you hear me! I know you can, so do it!” Virgil was about halfway to Logan, and the tugging grew. It was Logan. If he got to Logan, if he got Logan to calm down, it would stop.

Virgil watched as Logan closed his eyes. He felt the pressure lessen slightly as some of the larger objects stopped moving. Virgil continued to stumble toward Logan, knowing getting this chaos to stop was only the first step, as Logan was clearly having a full fledged panic attack.

“That’s good kiddo, keep going!” Virgil heard Patton shout from where he was still sitting next to Dee.

“Yes, yes, that’s good, just keep focusing on me,” Virgil added as he stumbled, grabbing the wall for balance, “Focus on my voice.”

Logan looked up and backed up when he saw Virgil, causing Virgil to groan. It had only been a few steps, but that was just a few more steps Virgil would have to take. Sure, adrenaline was doing him some serious help here, but that didn’t mean Virgil was unaware of the giant bleeding gash on the back of his head. He tried to ignore the feeling of blood running down the back of his neck as he continued forward, following the tugging sensation.

Finally, Logan stopped and met Virgils eyes. Virgil let go of the wall and made the last couple steps to Logan, stumbling once more and putting his hands on Logan’s shoulders to steady himself. (did he grab Logan's head instead of shoulder the first time because he was so dizzy, yeah, but it was  _ fine _ ). 

Virgil tried to look into Logan's eyes, though there were 4 of them so he wasn’t sure he was looking at the right ones when he began to speak, “You’ve gotta breathe, okay? Breath with me.” Virgil thought back to the breathing exercise his parents had taught him. He breathed in for 4 seconds, watching to make sure Logan did the same. He then held the breath for 7 seconds, and so did Logan. Finally, he released for 8. “Keep breathing with me. That’s good, you’ve got this.”

Virgil wasn’t sure how long he stood there breathing with Logan, but it was much longer than he should have considering his condition. He wasn’t sure when Logan had noticed that Virgil was now  _ definitely _ not looking into Logan’s eyes, no matter how hard he tried, and he may or may not have been swaying slightly, but Logan did notice. Suddenly, Virgil found himself on the ground, not sure how he had gotten there, with Logan kneeling in front of him. Logan said something, but all Virgil caught was “sorry” and his name. It was enough that he understood what was happening though. He tried to look at Logan as he opened his mouth to reply.

Suddenly, he was cut off by a voice. Roman’s voice. “What the-” He heard Roman exclaim, before suddenly he yelled “Virgil!” Virgil winced in pain at the noise.

Virgil felt someone grab his hands as a second blob appeared in front of him. He looked in the direction of this new blob, assuming it was Roman. “Hey Princey,” He mumbled, before turning his head slightly to look back at Logan. Shit, that was a bad idea. Whatever, too late now as now he was looking in the direction of the Logan blob. “And it’s no biggie, I’ve hit my head harder than that before.” Virgil said.

Where had that come from!? The logical part of his brain was screaming at him to not share anymore. He didn’t open up about this type of stuff, especially not to people who were nearly complete strangers to him. But that part of his brain clearly wasn’t in control, as Logan’s next comment left an opening that Virgil took without thinking.

“That doesn’t assuage my guilt,” Logan said. “I am sorry for harming you Virgil, I will do my best to ensure it doesn’t happen again. I simply hope there were no lasting effects.”

“Like amnesia?” Virgil said, internally screaming while externally he was apparently laughing, which did not help the pain in his head, “yeah, it would really suck if that happened  _ again _ .” What the  _ fuck _ was wrong with him. Logan began to ask something, but thankfully, Roman stepped in.

“OKAY!” Roman interrupted. “Well, fun facts with Virgil is over because he probably has a concussion. Let’s move on, ‘kay?”

Yes okay. Definitely okay. Shut this impulsive Virgil up right now please and thank you. Thankfully, Virgil’s mouth actually listened to logic this time, and did not say any other stupid crap.

“Yeah, we should probably get to a safe place to patch everyone up,” Patton added from where he was sitting with Dee, though Virgil could barely see him, “There are some pretty serious injuries here that need to be addressed.”

Virgil swayed slightly as black spots began to dance around his vision. The world began spinning faster as he prayed he wouldn’t throw up again. “Yeah, about that,” Virgil started to say, before leaning toward the Roman blob, “I’m not feeling too hot…”

Virgil wasn’t able to finish his statement as his head fell into Roman’s lap, and the world went black.

Remus sat perched on the roof of a nearby building as he watched the events in the alley. The Valley kid had powers? His parents had never mentioned or reported that. Should he report this?

Suddenly, a strong protectiveness rose in him. No, of course he wouldn’t report this. Something about the Valley boy… he couldn’t do that to him.

The powers were not the only problem Remus realized while sitting on the roof though. In fact, when comparing the two things he had learned, Remus wouldn’t even consider that first part a problem. It was an inconvenience at most.

What Remus had learned, as he listened to Virgil (Roman’s boyfriend was awake!? Well, at least he had someone) talk about head injuries was much more distressing.

Virgil had amnesia. Except, Virgil didn’t have amnesia, the Erikson kid did. But the moment Virgil mentioned it, Remus was sure. This was the Erikson kid. His twin’s boyfriend was the Erikson kid.

Remus almost laughed at his crap luck as he watched Roman carefully carry “Virgil” as the others helped Dee from the disaster that was that alley. Of course, of the billions of people on the internet, Roman had met the Erikson kid.

“Fuck,” Remus said once they were all inside the castle, “Fuck my life.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened  
> Thank you guys for reading!! I'll see you all next week!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!!! Sorry it's a little late today, Salem and I spent all day writing but almost forgot to post lol!!  
> Trigger warnings for this chapter: Talk of injuries and pain, anxiety, car accident, amnesia   
> as always, let me know if you think I missed anything!!

Virgil found himself in a bed, in a room he didn’t recognize, yet knew was his own. He was shaking in a cold sweat, having just woken from a horrible dream. He knew he had yelled, but he didn’t know if it had woken his parents, so he waited, wrapping the blankets tighter around him as he watched the shadows, fearing the monsters within them.

After a few minutes, Virgil was blinded by light as his mom opened the door, turning on the light. Yet, the woman that walked in wasn’t his mom.

“You okay Honeybug?” The woman asked, rushing to his side, “I heard you yell.”

The younger version of himself that he was trapped in nodded, as Virgil tried to place this woman’s face. He felt as if he knew her, yet he had never seen her face before.

“I’m okay mom,” Virgil replied. “I had a bad dream.”

Wait, mom? No, no that wasn’t right, this wasn’t his mom. Why was his younger self calling this woman his mom?

“Well, I can help with that,” the woman replied with a smile. “Lay down,” she said, patting Virgil’s pillow. Virgil did as he was told. “I’m gonna scare the nightmares away.” The woman murmured as she stroked Virgil’s hair. 

She continues to stroke Virgil’s hair as he laid there, relaxing. Eventually, she began to hum a lullaby Virgil didn’t recognize, but his kid self clearly knew, as soon, he was asleep.

Suddenly, Virgil was in a kitchen, again in a younger version of himself, though slightly older than before. He dragged his feet as he tiredly walked to the table, the woman from before cooking something while a man whispered something in her ear. She laughed. When they heard Virgil pull out a chair, they both turned to look at him, smiles on their faces.

“Good morning birthday boy!” The man said, picking Virgil up and spinning him in the air. The younger version of himself laughed as he recognized this person as his dad. 

“I can’t believe our baby boy is turning 10!” The woman from before said, coming over to join them, “Seems like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms and feeding you from a bottle!” She came forward and gave Virgil a big, slobbery kiss on the forehead.

“Gross mom!” Virgil exclaimed, before smiling up at her. “I am 10 now, I am too old for kisses from my mom.”

“Whatever you say,” She replied with a sigh, “but you’ll never be too old for this!”

Suddenly, her arms were moving all around him as she tickled him from all angles. Virgil was giggling and gasping for air, and finally she relented her attack.

“Hon, I hate to break up such an adorable moment, but I think the waffle is burning,” The man said, pointing at the smoking waffle maker.

“Shit!” The woman yelled, running over and opening the waffle maker to reveal a completely blackened blob that definitely wasn't a waffle anymore. She turned to Virgil with a grin, picking up the burnt waffle with a fork. 

“Birthday breakfast!” She joked, holding the waffle out toward Virgil. Virgil’s younger self sighed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Virgil’s younger self said, walking over to help her make edible waffles. The man started working on bacon as they talked and laughed and just enjoyed being together, a family.

Suddenly, a loud ringing began. The man had set off the smoke alarm. Young Virgil went to help, yet when the man listed him to reach the button to shut it off, the noise didn’t stop.

Virgil’s eyes snapped open to a loud sound. 

‘Where am I?’ He thought, panicking. ‘Why is that stupid sound still there, it’s hurting my head.’ 

After a moment, Virgil heard some shuffling then the noise thankfully stopped. Virgil groaned and shifted in the bed he was in, then tried to sit up to see where he was. Bad idea. The world went spinning and his head throbbed as he collapsed back onto the pillow. He noticed he was on a large canopy bed, and someone was sitting on the opposite side of it, a few feet away, before Virgil closed his eyes tight again, waiting for the pain and dizziness to fade. Out of nowhere, a voice spoke up next to him, and Vigil winced at the sudden noise.

“‘Bout time,” Dee said. “How are you feeling? Do I need to get Patton? Apparently something is going down, not that they told me  _ what,  _ so you should probably wait till they get back.”

“Ouch,” Virgil mumbled without opening his eyes. “Stop yelling, my head hurts.” 

“I-” Dee sighed and lowered his voice. “I wasn’t yelling but Pat did say you had a concussion and to not be a bitch. Well he said jerk, but I translated it.”

Virgil smirked and opened his eyes as he turned his head slightly to look at Dee. He hissed in pain as the back of his head rubbed against the pillow. 

“Language,” Virgil mumbled jokingly. Then he asked the question he was truly curious about, hoping Dee would have an answer. “What the hell happened?”

“With Logan?” Dee replied.

“Yeah, that.” Virgil confirmed, curiosity getting the better of the pain and exhaustion.

“That is a long story that I don’t completely understand.” Dee shrugged. “But the short version is that Logan has magic or powers or something, telekinesis is one, and it’s connected to his emotions so he loses control if he freaks out. Oh yeah and magic is real, so jot that down.”

Virgil sat in silence for a moment. Normally, he wouldn’t believe any of that, but after what had happened earlier, and well, everything that was happening in the world, he didn’t find it hard to believe. Suddenly, Virgil felt another tug in his chest, pulling him toward the door that likely led out of the room he and Dee were in. 

‘Well, might as well prove my theory while we’re sharing,’ Virgil thought to himself. 

“Is Logan on the other side of that door?” Virgil asked, weakly gesturing to the door in question.

“Okay how did you know that?” Dee asked, sitting up straighter to look down at Virgil.

“I..” Virgil started. “I don’t know. I just get this weird sensation, as if I’m being pulled toward something. That is how Roman and I found you in the alley. It gets stronger the closer I get to Logan, and it felt almost suffocating when he.. I don’t know, exploded I guess. I probably sound crazy.” Virgil sighed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for Dee to tell him that he was insane.

“I mean, maybe. But I have seen some weird-ass shit in the last 12 hours, so a tugging feeling definitely isn't off the table. Hell, maybe-”

Just then, the door opened and the other three came in.

“Virgil, you’re awake!” Patton exclaimed, when he saw Virgil’s eyes were open. Virgil winced and Patton immediately lowered his volume. “Oh, sorry, I just got excited. Can I give you a quick checkup?”

“Yeah, okay,” Virgil mumbled, trying once more to sit up. Again, the room spun, but he managed to prop himself up on his elbows while Patton went to get supplies from his bag. Roman was still in the doorway, staring at Virgil, his face filled with relief.

Patton quickly went through a few things. He asked Virgil questions on how he was feeling. Dizzy? Yes. Nauseous? A bit. Did his head hurt? Hell yes. Patton did a weird thing with a flashlight in Virgil’s eyes before determining that he definitely had a concussion, and should stay in bed for a day or two, but he would be okay. He also checked the stitches on the back of Virgil's head (really, stitches, Virgil thought), saying it should heal well.

As soon as Patton was gone Roman was sitting on the bed and taking Virgil’s hands. He absently kissed Virgil’s knuckles as his eyes ran over every inch of him, as if he needed to double-check Patton’s assessment despite his very small medical knowledge. Virgil felt the grip on his hands tightened and saw Roman’s knuckles were white and he was so tense his hands were shaking.

“Don’t you dare scare me like that again,” Roman ordered quietly. 

“Okay,” Virgil replied as he leaned closer to Roman unsteadily. “I have no intention of doing anything like this again, I didn’t necessarily enjoy it either.” Virgil smirked.

Roman just sighed and closed his eyes. “Apparently you might not get a choice, or any of us for that matter.”

“Not to interrupt this confusing tender moment,” Dee apologized, despite sounding anything but apologetic. “But care to share with the rest of the class?”

Virgil sighed. Right, they didn’t know about Roman and him. He thought of how confused they must be and had to fight off a laugh. Moving slowly, as to not get too dizzy, Virgil leaned over to rest his sore head on Roman’s shoulder before saying, “Right, sorry. Roman is my boyfriend. We started dating long distance a little over a year ago. We didn’t realize until Roman picked me up.”

“That’s sweet and all but I was talking about the none of us having a choice part.” Dee rolled his eyes. “What were you three talking about out there?”

Virgil flushed in embarrassment as he tried to hide his face in Roman’s shoulder. Right, the thing Roman had just said. Virgil decided to blame the concussion as he waited for someone to answer.

It was Logan who answered from his place on a stool where Patton was just finishing bandaging his arm: “At some point during the fight, one of the cultists managed to slip me a burner phone-”

“Oh my FUCKING god,” Dee yelled as he dramatically fell back onto the pillows. “So we’ve already got a sleep curse, I just found out magic was real like six hours ago, one of us had super powers, and then we have fucking CULTISTS?!”

“Shit, OW,” Virgil said, burying his face further into Roman’s shoulder, but he couldn’t blame Dee. Cultists, seriously?

“Also, what Dee said,” Virgil mumbled into Roman’s shirt. “What the fuck!?”

“Language you two,” Patton said, keeping his volume lower than he normally would when scolding, which Virgil appreciated.

“Perhaps if you let me finish I would be able to explain further,” Logan said pointedly. “To reiterate, one of the cultists slipped a burner phone into my pocket at some point during the fight. While Roman and I were out of the room, I received a call from that person. They wouldn’t tell us who they are, just that they had information they wished to share with us that they did not want to risk giving over the phone. They did answer a few questions, confirming that other than the other cult members, the five of us are the only ones on the planet awake. As a result, the cult is still looking for us, and we should try to meet with them as soon as possible to receive the other information they possess.”

Virgil couldn’t deal with this information, especially with Logan in the room, making the tugging feeling even stronger and harder to ignore. 

“This is too much,” Virgil sighed. He didn’t know if it would work, but he would try anything to get rid of the horrible tugging in order to give him one less thing to focus on. “Logan, sit here.” 

Virgil gestured to the bed on the other side of him. He was somewhat embarrassed to make the request, and a bit concerned about the implications if it did work, but Logan was hot as hell, so honestly, if he needed to stay close to him, he wouldn’t mind. Logan frowned, the confusion evident on his face until Patton nudged Logan in Virgil’s direction. Virgil could practically feel Dee’s calculating eyes on him but he really did not care. Logan slowly sat next to Virgil, and thankfully didn't say anything yet.

As Logan walked toward him, the sensation grew, until Logan was about a yard away as he sat on the bed. Suddenly the sensation relaxed, and he just felt an odd lightness in his chest, as if whatever had been yelling at him was satisfied. Virgil visibly relaxed, “Thanks,” He said quietly. Though he then felt a much less intense feeling, this time tugging toward Dee. Virgil gave Dee a confused look.

“Okay yeah,” Dee spoke up again, though finally getting the memo and not saying it loudly. “You’re definitely telling them ‘cause that was weird.”

“Telling us what?” Patton asked, glancing between Dee and Virgil. “What’s going on kiddos?”

“Oh are you talking about the thing from earlier?” Virgil felt more than heard Roman. “Like outside the alley?”

“Yeah,” Virgil relented, “Basically, I feel this tugging sensation to Logan, and it gets worse the closer I get, but when he is this close it relaxes. Also, Dee, now I’m feeling it toward you, though it isn't as bad.” Virgil paused. He knew he sounded crazy, but with all the magic and everything going on, it honestly wasn’t too far out there. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s happening. We have much bigger things to deal with right now though, so Logan, just stay there and we can move on.”

“Please tell me that’s the last of the barely believable confessions?” Dee begged.

“Actually…” Roman started. Dee groaned quietly. Virgil looked up at Roman, and Roman glanced at him, feeling the movement on his shoulder. Did Roman really want to share this? Virgil asked that question with his eyes, but got his answer when Roman continued speaking. “I figured we should probably all be on the same page. I don’t know if you guys noticed that one of the cultists was a lot younger than the rest?”

“I did take note of that,” Logan confirmed. “He tried to asphyxiate me.”

“Well he’s my twin brother, Remus.”

Virgil squeezed Roman’s hand tighter as the rest of the group went silent. Virgil wanted to do more, but he didn’t know what. He started tracing patterns on the back of Roman’s hand. It was the only thing he could think of, and hopefully it would be a good, grounding, distraction. Roman glanced at Virgil appreciatively, though Virgil could still see the pain and sadness in his eyes. Finally, one of the others spoke up.

“Are you okay, Roman?” Patton asked, clearly concerned, “That must have been upsetting to find out.”

“Oh uh,” Roman paused. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m dealing.”

Virgil resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Clearly he wasn’t fine, and if by dealing he meant trying not to think about it then sure, his boyfriend was dealing. Though, Virgil couldn’t blame him. With everything going on, it was hard to truly deal with anything.

“Okay kiddo, just know we are here if you need to talk.”

“Thanks, Padre.”

Virgil saw Patton grin at the nickname, before he spoke again, his voice much more athourative, “Okay, now that we are all on the same page, what is our next step? Are we going to meet with the mystery cultist?”

Virgil thought it over. They didn’t know who this person was, or if they could trust them. This could easily just be another trap to corner them all again. But, then again, they made it out the first time, they could do it again. In any regular situation, there was no way Virgil would support a meeting with an unknown cultist, but honestly, how could their situation get any worse? Plus, maybe this person really could be of help to them.

“I guess we probably should,” Virgil conceded.

“I agree with Virgil,” Logan said. “This person seems to have much more information than we could possibly hope to find. Even with what we’ve uncovered, I for one still have more questions than answers.” Virgil saw Logan look at him critically at that last part. Virgil sighed. Great, now he was part of the confusion.

“Dee, what do you think?” Patton asked, “You’ve always had a good instinct for these types of things.” Virgil idly wondered what that meant, before deciding not to read too much into it.

“I’m not sure,” Dee admitted. “I didn’t actually hear them, so I can’t base it off that. But why use a trap just to set another trap? I say we tentatively trust them, but with a shit ton of precautions.”

Virgil lifted his head to nod in agreement, forgetting for a moment about his concussion. He tried to catch himself as another dizzy spell took over, but failed and fell into Logan. 

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled, embarrassed. “Just tryin to say I agree with Dee about the precautions.”

“It’s alright,” Logan promised, simply shifting to make Virgil a little more comfortable. Roman took his hand again, but didn’t push Virgil to move again, which Virgil appreciated. “And yes, I believe caution would be wise.”

“What do you think Roman?” Patton asked. “You haven’t answered yet.”

“Sure but I’m definitely bringing my sword,” Roman answered, leaving no room for argument. “I don’t trust them yet, but I also think it’s a risk we need to take.”

Patton nodded. “I agree. So it is settled, we will meet with this person tomorrow afternoon at an airfield near here that should be abandoned due to the sleep situation.”

“I’m gonna make a suggestion that’s gonna anger certain people,” Roman interjected.

“Say it I dare you,” Dee growled.

“Shut your mouth right now,” Virgil hissed at the same time, knowing what Roman was about to say. There was absolutely no way Virgil was sitting this out.

“You both can barely walk!” Roman protested and Virgil thought he felt Logan flinch but he let it slide. “What if you came and it was a trap and you two got hurt?”

“I agree with Roman,” Patton said. “It could slow both of your recoveries down.”

“Excuse me I’m also the one here best at reading people,” Dee pointed out. “For instance: You’re too trusting and a couple nice words will win you over. Logan’s too curious to worry about the risk, and Roman’s angry about his brother so won’t believe  _ anything  _ they say. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just runs them through.”

“Wha, I, excuse me-” Roman spluttered.

“I’m going,” Dee cut him off.

“Which is exactly why I also need to be there!” Virgil pointed out, “I know how to keep Roman under control!”

“You just fell over while sitting up,” Logan reminded him, his voice completely monotone.

“Well, that’ll be better tomorrow, right Patton?” Virgil said, glancing at Patton.

“I wish I could say it would kiddo, but you will almost definitely still be having these symptoms tomorrow.”

Virgil exhaled through his teeth. He wasn’t gonna sit this one out cause of a stupid concussion. Especially if Roman was going. He wasn’t gonna let Roman go without him. Then, he got an idea.

“But I’ve gotta stay close to Logan too,” Virgil said, “It would probably be worse for me if I have to deal with that tugging sensation the whole time.”

So yeah, the tugging sensation would suck, though at that distance it would be easily tolerable, he probably wouldn’t even be able to notice it. However, since it wasn’t a complete lie, Virgil felt okay about it. Plus, the slight guilt he would feel was easily worth it if it meant he got to be there to help Roman.

“Virgil please,” Roman begged. “I obviously can’t tell you what to do, but honestly you’d just be a liability if we got into a fight with you like this.”

Damn it, Roman knew him too well. He knew just what to say to get Virgil to listen. Virgil sighed. He knew Roman was right, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“How about this,” Virgil said. “If I can walk in a straight line across this room by tomorrow, then I get to go. If not, I’ll stay.”

“Except I know you and your stubbornness way too well,” Roman grumbled. Was he actually pouting? “You’ll probably go anyway.”

“Won’t know unless you try,” Virgil said, not denying what Roman said.

Logan cleared his throat and Virgil moved his gaze back to him instead of Roman, moving his head as little as possible. “If I may, I believe Virgil should go.”

“What?!” Roman exclaimed, which was kind of comical considering he still whispered through it.

“Hell yeah he does!” Vigil said, keeping his volume low enough as to not cause him too much pain, though still allowing the excitement to show in his voice. 

“Uhhh, why is that kiddo?” Patton asked. “You’re pretty logical, and I’m sure you can see that Virgil is in no state to go out and meet with a cultist.”

“This cultist is also our only lead on what’s happening to Virgil,” Logan argued. “I feel Virgil has a right to understand what on Earth is going on with him. Besides we are allowing Dee to go, which would be leaving Virgil on his own. If the cultists know we are here they could easily kill or capture Virgil and we would be none the wiser.”

“Hey, I could hold my own in a fight!” Virgil protested, “But yeah, other than that, what he said.”

“Have you ever been in a fight in your life?” Dee asked, skeptically.

“Uh, yeah,” Virgil said, “Yesterday, duh.”

“Other than that, smartass.”

“Yes…?” Virgil said, trying to sound confident but completely failing.

“You are an awful liar,” Dee sighed. “So yeah, he should come or he’s dead meat. It’s either that or Logan stays here with him. He’s the only one who could handle an entire group on his own, cuz those guys were actually kinda badass. But that means Logan definitely has to come with us, so Virgil is too. I’m on your side, dumbass.” 

Virgil was slightly offended by the reasoning they were letting him come, but he’d take anything. He glanced at Roman hesitantly, wanting to hear what he had to say at this point.

“I still don’t like it,” Roman sighed. He met Virgil’s eyes, and Virgil suddenly realized why Roman was so afraid. Twice in the last forty-eight hours Roman had thought he’d lost him, and now they were charging into another reckless situation while he was still injured. But he  _ had  _ to go. “But it sounds like I’m gonna be outvoted, anyway.”

Virgil reached over to Roman and grabbed his shoulder with the hand Roman was not already holding. He considered moving over to him again, but then thought better of it and settled on just looking at him. 

“Hey, I’ll be okay,” Virgil reassured quietly, “I know you’ve only seen me drenched, panicked, injured or asleep since we met in person, but I’m stronger than I look.”

“I’d hope so, you look even paler than normal,” Roman muttered. “So, Pat? You’re the last one.”

Patton sighed and looked at Virgil. Virgil looked back at him, pleading with his eyes. 

“I don’t like it,” Patton said. “In any other situation I would say no, but I think Dee and Logan are right. We’ve gotta stay together. We can’t leave Virgil here alone, especially not in this state.”

“You guys have  _ got  _ to stop talking about me like I’m this delicate, breakable person,” Virgil muttered. “Just cause I’m injured and have no fighting skills doesn’t mean I’m useless.”

“We never said you were,” Logan said. “However you are in a weak state, and acting as if you aren’t will only get you further injured.”

Virgil sighed. Logan was right, plus, most of them were on his side, so really, he didn’t know why he was arguing. “Great, so I’m going,” Virgil said, annoyed but still happy he had gotten his way.

“Now that that is settled would you all mind giving me and Virgil a moment alone?” Logan asked out of nowhere.

Virgil looked at Logan, suddenly worried about what was going to happen. 

“Sure, kiddos, let me know if you need anything,” Patton said, before walking over to Dee’s side of the bed to help him leave.

Roman squinted at the two, obviously just as confused as Virgil was. He glanced at Virgil, silently asking if he was okay with this. Virgil hesitated, then gave a shrug that communicated, ‘sure, I guess’. Roman watched Patton and Dee leave then, with one last look, left the room, closing the door behind him.

Once the others were gone, Virgil made his best attempt to sit up so he could see Logan better. He ended up propped up against the pillows (with more assistance from Logan than he wanted to admit), but it was good enough. Virgil began to anxiously fiddle with his hoodie sleeves. “What’s up?” he asked.

“First I wanted to apologize once again for my, uh,  _ outburst _ in the alley,” Logan began, not meeting Virgil’s eyes. “I am the one responsible for your injury, and we would not be arguing about your presence at the meeting if I had simply regained control, and I apologize.”

“Dude, It’s fine,” Virgil said in instinct. Then he stopped himself. It really was fine, he didn’t blame Logan, but his instinctive response was not gonna cover it. “I get it,” Virgil added, “emotions don’t always do what we’d like them to.”

“I am grateful for your understanding,” Logan said, with a small smile that surfaced quickly and disappeared just as fast. “The other subject is more of a personal one. How did you know what to say in the alley? It took my parents years to be able to talk me down efficiently and that was one of the worst incidents I’ve ever had. Yet you talked me down before anyone else got injured.”

“Oh, uh…” Virgil hesitated. His anxiety wasn’t exactly something he was super open about, although it wasn’t exactly hard for people to figure out with all his nervous habits. But panic attacks and such, that was a different level, one he had only ever talked about to his parents and Roman. But Logan deserved to know. Logan was going through it too, he deserved to know he wasn’t alone. “I guess I’ve been doing it for years too… with myself.”

“Interesting,” Logan nodded, seemingly running it over in his head. “Ah. Do you have an anxiety disorder?”

“Yeah...” Virgil mumbled, embarrassed. He had already come this far, might as well admit it. “Yeah, I do.”

“This question is even more personal,” Logan warned. “So you need not feel compelled to answer it, if you do not wish to. Is it related to the head injury and amnesia you spoke of?”

Virgil froze in his fidgeting. He ran through his memories of last night, not having remembered saying anything about that to Logan. But there, right before he had passed out, was a foggy memory of Roman stopping him as he joked about his amnesia. Shit. Virgil sighed. Well, if Logan already knew…

“I’m not sure honestly,” Virgil replied, “I don’t exactly remember if I struggled with anxiety before, so…” 

“May I ask what happened? Again, you need not answer if you do not wish to. The last thing I have the right to do is pry.”

Should he tell Logan? Virgil honestly wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like it was that big of deal to just say the words ‘a car accident’, yet somehow it felt like a huge deal. He had just told Roman, and that had been so stressful. Yet, it had also been relieving. Telling Roman, sharing his burden had been a huge relief, so maybe sharing it with Logan would feel the same. I mean, Logan had opened up to him, whether purposefully or not, by having a panic attack in front of him last night.

Virgil sighed, then said: “It was a car accident, okay? I don’t even remember it so can we just stop talking about it?” Virgil stopped and bit his lip. That was rude. He took a deep breath, “Sorry, it’s just a sensitive topic. I don’t really talk about it a lot, and people don’t often ask about it. Most people don’t know at all.”

“Very well,” Logan nodded and let the subject drop. “Shall we call for the others and discuss the precautions for the meeting tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Virgil replied, letting out a long exhale. He was glad the conversation was over, telling Logan had not been anywhere near as relieving as telling Roman. However, he did not regret his decision. Logan was not the kind of person that would not tell anyone, and if there was anyone else in the group other than Roman that he thought would be able to help with his anxiety and past, it would be Logan.

Logan got up off the bed to go get the others, but Virgil grabbed his wrist, keeping him close enough that the tugging had not returned.

“Where are you going?” Virgil asked anxiously. He tried to hide the flush on his face as he realized he had just grabbed the arm of this extremely attractive near stranger.

“To get the others…?” Logan said, though it sounded like a question.

“But…” Virgil indicated at his chest, then back to Logan. “Then it’ll come back.”

“I can’t stay beside you forever Virgil,” Logan pointed out. “Especially since we still don't know the origin of that other than that it connects you to me and Dee. Besides, it is either that or I yell for them, and that will harm you just as much, if not more, because of your concussion.”

Virgil sighed and let go of Logan's wrist. After Logan was about two steps away, Virgil gasped, the sensation returning just as strong as before. Logan hesitated, turning to see Virgil looking very tense and uncomfortable, clutching his chest.

“Don’t just stand there, hurry up!” Virgil snapped, causing Logan to turn and walk briskly out of the room. It only took a few moments before they returned, but it felt like longer. Logan didn’t go far, which meant the sensation was extremely strong as Virgil waited.

Finally, Logan returned, the others following behind. He took his spot back on the bed beside Virgil and Virgil relaxed back into the pillows as the sensation faded once more. Roman took the spot on the other side of Virgil, looking at him with a question in his eyes.

‘I’ll tell you later’, Virgil communicated silently. Then, Patton began speaking.

“So, Roman, Dee and I discussed some potential precautions we wanted to run by you, since we just came up with them on the  _ fly _ .”

Virgil groaned. Of course Patton would find a way to make a pun, even in the worst of situations. Logan sighed beside him and when Virgil looked at his face he saw the expression of a man who had lost all hope. 

“Is it too late to be a victim of the curse?” Logan asked almost genuinely, his voice completely void of emotion.

At that, Virgil actually laughed. The world spun as he leaned forward, cackling, but he didn’t care. In such a weird time, the idea that they were still making comments and puns like that, that was the funniest thing in the world. Once Virgil composed himself, Patton continued.

“We figured we should scout out the area before the meeting,” Patton began. “We will make sure to pair one of the injured people with a healthy one, should things go wrong.” Virgil sighed at that, but didn't object. “Roman will bring his sword, and we will definitely leave the car running. We will only have Dee talk to the person, the rest of us will stay back, Roman and Logan on guard, me with first aid, and Virgil probably in a chair somewhere.”

Logan frowned as he ran it over in his mind; Virgil could practically see the gears turning in his head.

“Virgil will have to stay near me but outside of that I have no objections,” Logan finally declared. “Virgil?”

“Though I hate that I can’t do more to help, it makes sense,” Virgil replied. They were letting him go, which was something, and even he had to admit at this point that he was in no shape to do much other than sit and try not to pass out. Which was exactly what he was doing at that moment. Leaning over cackling hadn’t helped, though Virgil still felt it was justified.

“Then it’s settled!” Patton declared. “Now, Virgil and Dee need to get some extra sleep before tomorrow, so why don’t we give them some space since it’s a bit early, and we can finish hammering out details before we go to bed.”

Virgil wanted to point out that if Logan left there was no way he would be able to sleep, but they were already making so many accommodations for that already, and he didn’t want to be any more of a burden then he had to. He was just resigning himself to a sleepless night when Roman spoke up.

“Actually are we sure we should leave them alone?” Roman wondered aloud. Virgil sent him a glare and he hurried to explain. “I mean, what if there was something we couldn’t see and one of them has a seizure or something but none of us know?”

“I will keep watch over them,” Logan volunteered, carefully not looking at Virgil. “You two should put together a more portable First Aid kit for us to take.”

Virgil knew what Logan was doing, offering to keep watch so he could stay near Virgil, but he appreciated it. He still felt bad that whatever was wrong with him forced Logan to spend so much time with him, he knew people often got tired of him quickly, but Logan seemed to genuinely want to help.

The other two nodded. Roman gave Virgil a quick kiss on the cheek and said “Sweet dreams, my love.” 

“Night,” Virgil replied, before Roman followed Patton out the door.

Virgil slowly shifted to get under the covers and lay down. He suddenly paused when he remembered he still had Logan’s phone. “Sorry about the screen,” Virgil said apologetically. 

“It’s Patton’s fault not yours,” Logan joked. “ Now go to sleep.”

Virgil chuckled as he settled into the pillows. He hadn’t realized just how tired he was until he was laying there. He was asleep within moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ya go, another chapter!! I hope you guys enjoy, and beware, shit goes down next chapter :)  
> Thanks for reading!!! and feel free to keep sharing theories about what you think will happen, I love reading them!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super late today, I know but there were some complications. Basically Copper's gonna be wifi-free for the next week or so, so I'm posting for her.  
> Also, look forward to the next interludes on Wednesday, this time from Patton and Dee's POVs!  
> -Salem (saibug1022)  
> Trigger warnings: mentions of injuries (gunshot wound, concussion), mentions of blood, self-deprecation, panic attack

Virgil was woken from his nap when Roman and Patton returned, having apparently gone out to get food and other supplies. It was fairly early in the evening, but they were all hungry (even Virgil, though he still felt as if he was one dizzy spell away from puking all over the bed), so they all settled down to eat.

Virgil just ate some saltines, but it definitely still helped to calm his stomach. Patton also gave him some pain meds with the food.

“I don’t need those Pat, I’m fine,” Virgil protested, trying to push Patton's hand away but missing as his hand just brushed the side of Patton’s.

“You have a concussion,” Patton reminded him. “I find it hard to believe that you aren’t in any pain.”

Okay, so yeah, Virgil’s head was throbbing with pain, but he didn’t want to admit it. However, Patton had convinced Dee to take some a moment before, so at least he wouldn’t be the only one. 

“Fine,” He sighed, letting Patton hand him the medicine. 

Once they had all finished eating, Virgil was feeling a little better from the medicine and they all started talking. Of course, Roman was the star of the show, dramatically telling stories from their past, getting great reactions from the others. After he finished telling the story of how he had helped Virgil down from a rising panic attack (Roman had just said Virgil had been upset, which he appreciated) by spraying whipped cream at Virgil (aka the phone camera), the entire group burst into laughter.

Virgil rested his head on Roman's shoulder, trying to keep the pained expression off his face as he laughed along. Though the medication had helped, this loud rambunctious laughter still hurt.

“Holy shit,” Dee said as he laughed. “Are you serious? Did you seriously do that?”

“Yeah, of course he did, cause he’s an idiot,” Virgil confirmed with a grin. He remembered that day well. He hadn’t told Roman what had happened. He had just called, and Roman had picked up quickly. Without a word, Roman had understood the situation without Virgil saying a word, and though his attempt to help had been unusual, it had worked. “His phone was ruined!”

“Hey it  _ worked  _ didn’t it!?” Roman protested, not realizing he had said it right into Virgil’s ear. Virgil grit his teeth against the pain, just wanting to enjoy the moment. “Look spraying whipped cream at your boyfriend and therefore your phone may not be the most conventional method, but it worked okay?!”

“Surely there were more logical ways to cheer him up,” Logan said. 

‘Oh, there definitely had been’ Virgil thought to himself. Yet, while Roman had ruined his phone and wasted some perfectly good whipped cream, it did make for a very good memory of a day that otherwise would have been very bad.

“I panicked, okay?” Roman objected.

“Well, clearly Virgil has you  _ whipped _ ,” Patton said from his spot on the floor, where he had fallen in his laughter. He again leaned over, cackling at his own horrible pun.

“Patton please,” Logan groaned as the others were sent into a whole new round of laughter. Virgil smiled and laughed with them, but it didn’t quite reach the rest of him, his body more occupied by pain than the wonderful moment.

“Okay guys,” Patton said as everyone worked to catch their breath. “We’ve gotta quiet down.” Patton glanced at Virgil who looked back gratefully. The others began to quiet down and Virgil began to relax.

Next to him, Virgil saw Logan take a sip of his water. He watched as Logan gagged, before composing himself and looking at Patton, who Virgil now realized had been watching this go down with a smirk.

“Patton what the actual fuck,” Logan said without emotion.

This caused everyone, including Virgil, to burst into laughter once more, though they were clearly making an effort to be quieter, which Vigil noticed with appreciation.

“Language!” Patton giggled, before composing himself and looking right at Logan, “And if you don’t agree to take pain meds in the morning, I will do that again. Don’t test me, Logan Valley.”

“Why did you even give them to me?” Logan asked. Virgil was slightly confused as well, although he could also feel himself slipping into sleep slowly but surely, so that could be part of that was causing his confusion.

“Cause you have bruised ribs and a gunshot wound. I don’t care how good you think you are at hiding it, I’m making you take care of yourself whether you like it or not.” Patton replied. Logan had a gunshot wound? And bruised ribs? Jeez, how did Virgil not notice? Virgil made a mental note to apologize again later for falling on him earlier. Though he doubted he would remember, as exhaustion was quickly taking over.

“Shut up dad,” Virgil said without thinking.

Patton looked over at Virgil, “Aww, kiddo, I’m just making sure Lo-Lo here gets taken care of. And speaking of taking care of yourself, it looks like it’s time for you to go to bed.” 

“Lo-Lo…?” Logan repeated slowly. Virgil bit back a giggle. That was such a cute nickname! Oh, wow, he really was tired if he thought ‘Lo-Lo’ was a good nickname for  _ Logan _ . He just hoped he fell asleep before his sleepy self did any more damage to his reputation. Not that his reputation with these people was great, considering it was basically being a dizzy, weak, injured inconvenience.

“Yeah!” Patton replied. “If I’m gonna be a dad my kids have got to have cute nicknames!”

“When you all wake up in the morning I will be halfway back to Maine,” Logan declared. 

Fear struck the sleepy Virgil as he cried out, “No, Lo-Lo, don’t go!” 

Virgil reached over to Logan, desperate for him to stay. Logan reached over and put his hand over Virgil’s, which calmed him down. Logan wouldn’t leave them.

“Hey what about the rest of us?” Roman said suddenly.

“Yeah I don’t have a nickname,” Dee teased.

“But you do,” Patton replied, sounding confused. “You demanded I stop calling you Dee-Dee.”

“Oh fuck I forgot about that,” Dee groaned. Virgil grinned, reveling in Dee’s embarrassment for once instead of his own.

“As for you,” Patton continued, turning to Roman, “Obviously Princey. Ro-Ro just doesn’t sound as good.” Princey? But that was  _ his _ nickname for Roman. Whatever, he just didn’t want to be left out of the nickname party.

“I want a nickname too!” Virgil whined.

“I have plenty of nicknames for you, my Dark and Stormy Night,” Roman said before beginning to list them off. “My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, Hot Topic, Panic at the Everywhere-” 

“Okay we get it,” Virgil grumbled into Roman’s chest, placing a hand over his mouth. He wasn’t about to admit how much he loved Roman’s pet names for him.

“Patton was correct earlier,” Logan sighed, breaking up the nickname party. “We do have much still to do before tomorrow afternoon, we should get some sleep.”

“Let’s all just sleep in here,” Roman said. Vigil squirmed as the shoulder he was using as his pillow moved as Roman shrugged. “It can be like a slumber party.”

“Yes!” Patton exclaimed, jumping and clapping his hands excitedly. Virgil groaned at the sudden loud sound. “Sorry Virgil,” Patton said, lowering his volume. “I think that is a great idea Princey!”

“Hey,” Virgil mumbled, not about to let Patton steal his pet name for his boyfriend. Roman may have a list, but Virgil had one, and it was his. “Only I can call him that.” Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman. 

“My Prince.” Virgil snuggled against Roman to prove his point.

“Of course I am, dear.” Roman wrapped his arm around Virgil. Virgil smiled against Roman’s shirt.

“That’s cute,” Dee said sarcastically. “But I lost a ton of blood and would like to go back to sleep now, so shut the fuck up.”

Virgil felt Roman pull away and immediately tightened his grip to hold him there. He heard Roman say something before he laid him and Virgil down, but Virgil was already asleep.

When Virgil woke up, he was incredibly disoriented. He heard voices, but they weren’t the voices of the parents he did not recognize in his dream. It took Virgil a moment to realize it was Patton, Dee, Logan, and Roman. He must be the last to wake up.

“And if he doesn’t eat his food soon I’m probably gonna yell, so he should probably get on that.” He recognized Patton’s voice, as he didn’t open his eyes yet. He internally begged Patton not to yell as he laid there, listening.

“Logan, what the fuck?” Dee said from beside him. “Why didn’t you say anything, dumbass?”

“I would have moved idiot,” Roman said. 

“I didn’t want to upset Virgil,” Logan muttered.

‘Great,’ Virgil thought when he heard those words. Of course, he was just causing more problems for Logan. First, he made Logan feel guilty by giving in to his injury, when he should have just toughed it out better so Logan wouldn’t feel bad. Then, he made Logan stay next to him at all times because of a tugging sensation that no one knew what it was, and now he was the source of whatever this new problem was? 

“I don’t care,” Patton snapped. “Now shut up and eat.”

“Eat your food Logan,” Virgil groaned, wanting to help after having caused whatever was happening. Plus, Patton’s threat to yell still hung in the back of his mind. “I really don’t want him to yell.”

Logan must have eaten after that, cause Patton didn’t yell. Virgil sat up slowly with Roman’s assistance in order to eat his own breakfast, which again consisted of saltines and pain killers, although Patton did get him to eat a piece of beef jerky as well.

Once they were all done eating, Roman and Logan got up to help with the preparations. Virgil tried to follow them but only made it a couple of steps before he felt his knees hit the ground as the dizziness took over.

Patton helped him back to the bed while Roman fretted and Logan just stood nearby. 

“When you get dizzy, just try to close your eyes and breath, okay?” Patton told him once he was back on the bed with Dee. Virgil gave a small nod and was able to keep himself sitting up steady on the bed, which was good.

Eventually, Logan announced that he was going to go to the training room for a bit. Virgil didn’t say anything, as Logan had been moving in and out of range all morning without realizing it, as he moved around the room and helped with preparations. The first couple times Virgil had gasped audibly, and Logan had stepped closer to him, but it was such a small range that eventually Virgil just curled up in a ball and bit his lip, forcing himself not to react when Logan got far enough away for the sensation to return. He didn’t want to make things any more complicated than necessary.

When Logan went to the training room Virgil just stayed curled up on the bed, counting his breaths. He had said he wouldn’t be long, how long did that mean? 50 breaths, 100? Virgil felt Logan using his powers as he continued to breathe, though it was nowhere near as intense as his powers had been in the alley.

Finally, after 276 breaths, Logan returned to the room and approached Virgil, allowing him to relax again for a moment. Logan continued to help with preparations as Virgil felt him move about the room until finally, it was time to go.

Roman wrapped his arm around Virgil's waist, holding him upright as they walked to the car. Virgil complained at first, insisting it was unnecessary, until he tripped over his own feet before even out of the bedroom, and Roman caught him. Roman didn’t say anything, and Virgil was too dizzy to see his face, but Virgil knew Roman smirked.

Once they were in the car, Roman settled Virgil into the passenger seat so he could sit close to Logan, while the other three piled into the back. Virgil thought the car ride would be relieving, having Logan within a comfortable distance for a more extended period of time, but Virgil hadn’t accounted for being in a vehicle moving at high speeds with the dizziness he had been experiencing. The moment the car started moving and Virgil looked out the window, the world began to spin like a top.

Thinking of Patton’s advice, Virgil closed his eyes and focused on his breathing as he felt the car rumble beneath them. When they finally arrived, half an hour early, Virgil opened his eyes to watch Logan, Roman, and Patton head into scout out the area. He was left alone with Dee. He sucked in a breath as the tugging sensation returned, but was distracted when Dee spoke.

“Finally,” Dee groaned, finally remembering to keep his voice down. “I love Patton, I swear I do, but holy fuck his mothering is so annoying sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. “I can’t imagine having him as my little brother. Does he actually act like this all the time? Like, it’s sweet and all, but does he ever stop?”

“It’s not usually  _ this  _ bad,” Dee admitted. “Other than that though yeah. He’s only like this ‘cause Logan pissed him off earlier. I seriously thought the walking encyclopedia was gonna have a heart attack.”

“I didn’t see much of it,” Virgil admitted, though he was now wishing he had. “But Patton definitely seemed upset. Sorry about that by the way, I don’t remember what I did last night but apparently it led to whatever happened this morning.”

“Nah that wasn’t you,” Dee insisted with a shake of his head. “Logan’s been feeling like a piece of shit ever since the alley and has been scrambling to make it up to you, so he’s been on overdrive to not upset you. Since he caused your injury he’s doing his best to make it not get worse. It’s sweet and a little pathetic. If I wasn’t scared of getting blasted across the room I’d smack him upside the head and tell him to get his shit together.”

“Maybe I’ll smack him,” Virgil mused. “I've already been blasted into a wall once, I’m sure it won't happen again. And if it does, what more harm can it do?” 

Dee snickered, apparently appreciating the dark humor. “Make sure I’m in the room, I ‘d love to see that.”   
Virgil opened his mouth to reply, but just then the car door opened with Roman on the other side. Roman helped Vigil out of the car and wrapped his arm around his waist to steady him. 

“Stop it,” Virgil complained. “I can walk just fine on my own!”

“Sure you can,” Roman agreed but made no move to remove his arm. As they walked, Virgil felt the ground moving under him as nothing in his vision would stay in one place, but he complained about Roman’s help anyway. He couldn’t be seen as some damsel in distress.

When they got to the bag check area, Virgil noticed many unconscious people on the floor that had been waiting in line when the sleep hit. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that they were still alive, before looking up to notice Patton setting up two chairs. Patton glanced at them after he seemed satisfied with his set up.

“You’re back!” Patton said with a smile.

“Patton?” Logan said from right behind Virgil. “What exactly are you doing?”

“I was checking the offices for supplies and I found these chairs,” Patton gestured to the chairs he had been setting up. “I thought Dee and Virgil could use them.”

“How thoughtful of you Pat!” Roman grinned and led Virgil to one of the chairs, Virgil grumbling the whole way about how he didn’t need a chair. Virgil heard Patton say something to Logan, before Logan and Dee followed, and Logan helped settle Dee into the chair beside him.

Patton said something to Logan about taking it easy, but Virgil barely registered it. He was more distracted by the figure entering the airport. The figure of an 18-year-old boy, nearly identical in looks to Roman while so opposite in every other way. This wasn’t just any cult member, it was Remus.

“You!” Roman yelled, causing Virgil to wince. Before Virgil was even able to blink, Roman was struggling toward his twin brother, sword raised, and Logan restraining him. Virgil glanced at Remus, and what he saw surprised him. Remus’s eyes were full of sadness and hurt as he watched Roman struggle against Logan’s grip. He just watched them, not doing anything for his own safety, as if he wanted Roman to run him through with his sword.

“Roman stop!” Logan ordered. Virgil knew he had to do something. Not only did he know Roman would regret this, but he also knew Remus was their only lead. If he turned out to be a liar and a loyal cult member, Virgil would gladly let Roman kill him, but for not until they talked to him.

“Roman,” Virgil said, attempting to push himself up from his chair to move toward Roman. “Roman, I need you to stop right now. I know you’re mad, but don’t be reckless.” Virgil took a shaky breath before continuing, taking a shaky step forward. “Ignore him for now,” Virgil said. “Look at me.”

Roman did not react to Virgil, and Virgil could see Logan struggling to hold Roman back. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the pain this would likely cause him. He was already watching his boyfriend try to murder his twin brother while barely able to breathe due to the sensation pulling him toward Logan, and swaying as he tried to stand upright. How much worse could it get?

“Roman Aldrich Oberon!” Virgil yelled. He paused. Shit. He reached out his arms as he tried to keep his balance, and continued to yell, getting hopeful when he saw Roman pause at the sound of his full name. 

“ _ I _ need you to stop. He might have answers about what is happening to me. Please, Roman.” Virgil was begging now. “Please stop.”

There was a moment of silence as Virgil swayed where he stood. Then, finally, Roman stopped struggling against Logan, and Logan let him go. Just in time too, as Virgil’s dizziness finally got the best of him as he swayed a little too far forward, nearly face-planting on the hard floors of the building before Roman managed to catch him and guide him back to his chair.

“Remus is a tricky one,” Roman growled, sending his brother a glare over his shoulder. “I don’t think Dee should talk to him alone.”

“Well, you sure as hell aren’t doing it!” Dee scoffed.

Virgil vaguely noticed Logan turning to talk to Patton, just far enough away for the sensation to be there, strong and pulling, but Virgil resisted the urge to grab his chest as he spoke.

“I should come,” Vigil said. “I at least know him a little, so that could help, but I also am not going to slice his head off with a sword... _ yet _ .”

Dee smirked for a moment but his face quickly returned to its somehow passive glare. “I would say no but you’d try and do it anyway,” He sighed. “Because all of you people are complete  _ morons _ . So fine, you can come, but now Logan is too.”

Virgil opened his mouth to object, but Roman cut him off.

“I agree,” Roman nodded, his face leaving no room for argument and his eyes were colder than Virgil had ever seen them. “When it was just Dee we could rush in if something went wrong but with two of you you might get in the way, so Logan should go to protect you. And the tugging thing too.”

“Fine.” Vigil relented, knowing he wasn’t going to win this argument, “But only if he’s up for it.” They all glanced over at Logan and Patton. Logan wasn’t looking great, he looked pale and tense as he spoke to Patton. Virgil hoped he was okay.

Finally, Logan and Patton turned back to them and walked over, the sensation easing immediately. When Logan saw them all watching, he quickly tried to reassure them, not that Virgil believed a word of it.

“I’m fine. What now?” Logan said as they reached them.

“Apparently Virgil is going with me to talk to Remus,” Dee said, quickly beginning to explain the new plan.

“Which means I’m going too,” Logan finished. Virgil opened his mouth to protest, wanting to tell him that if he didn’t feel up for it he didn’t have to, but Logan waved him off. “Let’s go get this over with.”

Virgil grabbed Logan’s arm as he got up, trying to keep himself steady. He stumbled a little on the way over to Remus, and definitely would not have made it if not for Logan. 

“Alright, we came,” Dee started before Remus could even speak, giving him an accusing glare. “We’re here. You said you have information. What is it?”

Remus looked at the three of them for a moment, clearly thinking about something, Virgil tried to figure out what he was thinking about, but his expression stayed mostly blank. Finally, he spoke: “There’s a lot of shit to cover, where do you want to start?”

“How about you start where you betrayed my boyfriend and your own twin brother,” Virgil muttered under his breath. Shit, he probably shouldn’t have said that, but hey, Roman wasn’t the only one pissed off here! Thankfully, Remus either didn’t hear or just didn’t want to respond, as he continued to wait for an answer.

“The beginning is usually a good place,” Logan answered finally.

“Okay,” Remus took a deep breath, seeming very stressed himself as he began to speak. “There's a cult named Fove, which worships a demon that harvests dreams for power.”

“I’m sorry what?” Dee exclaimed, though thankfully not too loud. “I’m sorry I just found out magic was real two days ago, now we’re throwing demons into the mix? Fine, whatever. So you’re telling me this cult no one knew existed managed to put the entire world to sleep at once?”

Okay, new things Virgil had learned about the world in the last 48 hours: Magic is real, cultists put the entire world to sleep, Logan had crazy brain powers, and there was a demon that fed on dreams. Virgil was beginning to question if this was real life. Maybe he was the one asleep, and this was all a dream. God, he hoped so.

“Yes, they did manage to do that,” Remus said. “They want to give more power to the demon for some fucking reason, so they put the entire world to sleep so the demon can harvest all the dreams and gain power.”

“So why are we awake?” Logan asked, voicing Virgil’s next question. Sadly, Logan didn’t add the second part of his question, being, ‘How can I become affected by this curse to escape this god-awful situation.’

“I don’t fucking know,” Remus said, throwing up his hands. “I know why Roman is awake. And Logan, you’re likely awake due to your powers. But I don’t know why the Faiths are awake.”

“How do we know we can believe you?” Virgil said, not noticing that Remus hadn’t said his name. “You could be making all of this up for all we know.”

“Because I know why you’re awake.” Remus said, turning to Virgil. “And I have proof.”

“How could you possibly prove something like that?” Dee rolled his eyes. 

“Indeed,” Logan nodded. Virgil’s grip tightened on Logan’s arm as he fought down his rising panic. What was he going to tell him? What else would he have to add to his list of new discoveries these last 2 days?

“I can prove it because he’s awake for the same reason Logan is,” Remus shrugged. “He has abilities. Basically, he can sense magic and communicate with demons and shit. They also make him better at spells.”

Virgil grabbed Logan’s arm even tighter. Okay, that was bullshit. Absolute bullshit. If Virgil had powers, he would have known by now, right? He wasn’t anyone special, he was just a normal anxious kid living the normal anxious life. Until now, apparently. Virgil just stared at Remus while these thoughts went through his mind, unable to form a response.

“And we’re supposed to believe you just like that?” Dee said. “You said you had proof, so give it.”

“Logan is an extremely powerful source of magic, I'm sure Virgil has likely been feeling drawn to him?” Remus asked with a small grin, knowing he was right.

Okay, so yeah, Virgil had to admit, it was nice to hear an answer about what was going on with him and Logan and Dee to a lesser extent, but this was absolutely  _ not _ the answer Virgil had wanted or expected. He tried to control his breathing as he shakily replied: “...yeah.”

“Virgil are you alright?” Logan whispered quiet enough that Remus wouldn’t be able to hear. “Would you like to return to the others?”

“I..” Virgil started, then paused. Yeah, he was panicking, obviously, but he was so close to having the answer. Even if it wasn’t the answer he wanted, he had to know. 

“I need to know for sure.” He whispered before looking back at Remus. Remus smiled at him.

“That feeling is your powers working. You can sense the magic within Logan.” Remus looked at Logan, “Logan, could you do some power shit? That way Virgil can feel it.”

Vigil looked at Logan as he hesitated, trying not to seem too desperate as he met Logan’s eyes. He needed this, he needed to know more than anything, but he also didn’t want to force Logan to do something he didn’t want to do. Suddenly, Logan raised the hand Virgil wasn’t grabbing onto, and a suitcase lifted from the ground. Virgil felt a slight shift inside him, the pressure building. Virgil watched as the blue in Logan’s eyes brightened and he flicked his wrist, sending the suitcase flying into the wall. Virgil felt the pressure in his chest build then burst as the suitcase hit the wall, just like it had when it was Virgil hitting a wall.

Suddenly, Virgil let go of Logan’s arm and stumbled back. He knew Logan would never hurt him on purpose, Logan had easily proved that since the alley incident, but when he felt Logan’s powers like that, it scared him so much. He was scared of his own abilities, the way they made him feel, the way they made him understand Logan’s build-up of power just a little too well.

Virgil stumbled into Dee, and the words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. “That’s… that’s what it felt like in the alley.” 

Virgil tried desperately to compose himself as Logan stepped back. God, what must Logan be thinking right now? He was probably blaming himself, Virgil knew he looked horrified. Vigil watched as the blue in Logan’s eyes faded, and as Logan continued to step back, he suddenly felt the tugging sensation once more.

He was scared of the way Logan’s powers made him feel, but not of Logan himself. Yet, Virgil couldn’t find the air to voice that, to make Logan understand, this wasn’t Logan’s fault. Finally, Virgil gave in to the tugging as he stumbled toward Logan once more, who quickly stepped forward to catch him as he stumbled. He wanted to tell Logan it was okay, but he couldn't. He did his best to catch his breath before turning to Remus.

“Okay,” Virgil started in the steadiest voice he could muster. “So, you were right. Now tell us what else you know and get the hell away from me.”

“Other than that I don’t know a lot. The only other things I know are that you guys are the only people awake, so Fove wants to murder you.” Remus said, looking at the three of them curiously. “Basically, you guys need to stay on the run until I learn more. I hope to find a way to stop the demon and end this fucking apocalypse as soon as possible, but that probably won’t be easy to find, and I won’t be able to do it alone for sure, as I don’t have fucking superpowers and shit, so I’ll need your help. Although, you guys clearly don’t trust me much yet, so it’s up to you. If you want to meet again for more information, call this number on the phone I gave you.” 

Remus handed Dee a slip of paper, but Virgil barely noticed. “If not, I will understand, but I hope you choose to help me.” Finally, Remus looked over at Roman. “Roman, remember what I said before I left. I love y-”

Virgil cut Remus off before he could finish.. “Don’t you dare say another word to him,” Virgil hissed with all the air left in his lungs. “You’ve done enough harm already.”

“Fine.” He said, “I hope to get a call from you soon.” 

Then, Remus turned and left, leaving them alone once more.

Virgil’s remaining composure fell as he collapsed into Logan, who lowered him to the ground while Virgil tried to catch his breath. He had abilities. He had the power not only to sense the horrible turmoil of magic, but also to talk to demons!? Weren’t Demons bad? Did this power make Virgil bad?

Virgil vaguely noticed the others sit down around him as Dee explained to them what had happened. He didn’t catch much of it, but he knew Dee hadn’t said anything about Virgil’s newfound power, just the cult and what they were doing.

When Dee stopped talking, Virgil cut in, gasping as he forced out the words to tell them what he had learned, understanding if they wouldn’t want him to be with their group anymore. 

“One...other...thing,” Virgil said between gasps. He paused for a moment, breathing hard, before he continued. “I...I have...abilities.” Virgil finished finally.

“Wait what?” Roman said. “Are you sure he didn’t just make that up? I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“He was telling the truth,” Dee confirmed, his face now grim. “I could tell. Plus, well…” He trailed off.

“He had proof,” Virgil said, barely above a whisper as he frantically tried to wipe away the tears now running down his face. He was so weak. He was so selfish. He was so  _ bad _ . He looked at Roman and cleared his throat 

“Are you okay?” He asked Roman suddenly. He had to stop making this about him. Roman had just found out his twin brother was in a cult, then found out he didn’t like the cult apparently? Roman was probably so overwhelmed, Virgil needed to help.

“Me?!” Roman said. He tightened his grip around Virgil and Virgil wondered when Roman had put his arms around him. Roman began to run a hand through his hair. “I didn’t just have my entire life turn upside down. I’m way more worried about you.”

Virgil continued to gasp as he leaned into Roman, tears creating a wet spot on Roman’s shirt. He was a mess, but he was just overreacting. He had to help Roman. “But, Remus-” Virgil started

“Forget about Remus,” Roman said, his voice falling into the gentle tone he often used when Virgil was having an attack. “Talk to me, Sunshine. What do  _ you  _ need?”

“Air, to start,” Virgil gasped, giving up on trying to help Roman for the moment. He would get to that once he could breathe. God, he hated panic attacks. “Fuck...panic...attacks,” Virgil added.

“Okay then you know the drill,” Roman nodded. Roman gently had Vigil lean back just slightly, so he could place Virgil’s hands on his chest. “Breathe with me, alright?”

Virgil didn’t respond, he didn’t think he could, so he just tried to do as Roman told him. Virgil continued gasping for another moment or so before his breathing started to align with Roman’s. 

“That’s it beautiful, keep it up,” Roman said, not stopping the hand in Virgil’s hair. “Just a little more, you’ve got this.”

Virgil gave a small nod as he continued to breathe, willing the tears to stop running down his face. It took a few more minutes, but eventually Vigil was breathing with Roman completely, and getting oxygen again. Yet that didn’t stop the stream of thoughts running through his mind.

‘Magic, demons, abilities, he had abilities, he could talk to demons, he was bad…’

“No stop it,” Roman’s voice broke through his thoughts. “Stop...stop thinking. I can tell. I don’t know exactly what thoughts are dancing through your head right now, but I can almost guarantee they’re wrong.” Roman paused. “Actually I know you, so I have a pretty good idea. You, Virgil Tempest, are not awful or bad or whatever just because of one single part of you that you don’t even control. You are beautiful and kind and you always put others before yourself even when you  _ really  _ shouldn’t. I love you so much, even if you can’t say it back yet, and I will keep saying it until my voice goes hoarse and you finally understand that, however long that may be.”

Virgil looked at Roman, desperate to believe what he was saying. He repeated it to himself mentally, telling himself ‘I am not awful or bad just because of one single part of me.’ Virgil kept repeating it in his head, again and again, until the blame and fear in his mind became questions and worries. He leaned back into Roman and sobbed. 

“Why me?” he asked, knowing Roman wouldn’t have the answer but asking it anyway.

“I can’t tell you that, Virgil,” Roman sighed. “But it doesn’t define you. You’re not your powers, you’re  _ Virgil _ , and that’s all I care about.”

Virgil nodded, his face in Roman’s shirt as he sniffled, trying to calm himself down. He had to pull himself together, everyone was probably judging him and-

‘No,’ Virgil told himself, ‘we are not doing this again today, nope.’ Virgil pushed those thoughts out of his mind, instead focusing on Roman’s steady heartbeat as he waited for the tears to slow. After a moment, they did, and Virgil slowly lifted his head, his eyes red and puffy from crying and his face flushed. He looked at Roman. 

“Thanks,” He muttered, before turning back to the others. “Sorry guys.” He glanced down to see he had begun fidgeting with his sleeves without even realizing.

“Logan,” Virgil said, noticing the distant look in Logan’s eyes. “Hey, Logan, I’m sorry I freaked out, It wasn’t your fault I just… Your powers feel pretty overwhelming dude, I don't know how you deal with that all the time.”

Logan didn’t reply at first, as he seemed lost in his own thoughts. Finally, he cleared his throat and said. “Yes, well, I’ve gotten used to it, Now, shall we discuss our next move? We should probably relocate wherever we’re staying for the night-”

“Bullshit,” Virgil said, cutting Logan off. He had felt Logan’s power in the alley. He felt it building now as Logan fought to suppress it, and he was not just gonna let it slide. He didn’t know why, but he felt this urge to help Logan, so that is what he was going to do. “Absolute fucking bullshit. You are going to sit here and tell me the truth about what’s going on right now. Right, fucking now.”

“What?” Logan said. “I can assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

God, he was trying hard to lie to Virgil, but Virgil knew this behavior all too well, and he wasn’t about to let Logan continue going down this horrible path.

“I’m not an idiot!” Vigil exclaimed, “And I want to help, but I also just had an anxiety attack so I’m not feeling great either, and you sitting there suppressing yourself isn’t helping anyone!”

“It’s keeping me from hurting anyone!” Logan finally exclaimed, jumping to his feet, “Sure, it sucks, but it’s the only thing keeping me from destroying this entire building! I’m capable of that and it scares the shit out of me! But I lived with it and this is how I control it. Emotions lead to destruction for me. So why do you people keep PUSHING?!” 

The pressure in Virgil's chest built as he watched Logan cover his eyes. Luggage began to float as Virgil stood unsteadily, removing Logan’s hands from his face.

“I can feel it too.” He said, breathing heavily with Logan as he tried to regain control. “And Roman is about to call me out on being a huge hypocrite here, but I’m gonna say it anyways: emotions only lead to destruction when you bottle up your emotions like this. You had complete control over how much emotion you put into using your power on the suitcase earlier, who's to say you can’t do that again, until you don’t have as much bottled up anymore. Until you won’t be as scared of these outbursts anymore, because they won’t be able to do as much harm.”

Virgil noticed tears falling from Logan’s eyes when he finished. Then, to Virgil’s surprise, Logan laughed a horrible, bitter laugh.

“Are you sure about that?” Logan replied unsteadily. “It’s easy to say for someone who isn’t a murderer.”

Virgil was caught off guard by that statement. What was he supposed to say to that? He had no clue what Logan was talking about and honestly, he was a little scared to find out. Thankfully, Patton stepped in.

Patton stood and put his hand on Logan’s shoulder. “I don’t know what you mean by that kiddo, but whatever happened isn’t who you are now. Dee would have figured it out by now if you were a bad person, but you’re  _ not _ .”

Virgil watched with pride, his eyes glistening with happy tears as Dee stood to comfort Logan as well. For a moment, Virgil forgot about the curse, and just found himself grateful that he had found these wonderful people that took care of each other, no matter what.

“I don’t say this a lot but Patton’s right,” Dee said as he took one of the hands Virgil was holding in both of his. “From what I’ve seen, you saved our lives in an alleyway, brought us all together, sacrificed your own comfort for the sake of others, and were willing to fight to protect us despite knowing us for less than a fucking week, Logan. That’s not a bad person.”

“I murdered an innocent man,” Logan whispered, his voice weak as he continued to speak. “He was just trying to help, but I was so angry and I didn’t think about even trying to push it down so he fell off the roof, he fell onto the fence and I-” Logan made a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob. “I was six. I was  _ six  _ and I murdered a man in cold blood. How can you be willing to even touch me especially when I’m like this?” Logan jerked his head at the once again floating luggage. “If I could do that then, how do you know I won’t now?”

“Because you haven’t yet,” Roman wrapped his arms around Logan from behind in a more comforting version of Logan’s brace earlier. “Logan even in the alley we all came out alive. And look around you. You think you’re falling apart but all the people are completely unscathed, us included. I know we’re all safe with you and my only regret is that I didn’t see that earlier. You’re our friend, Logan.”

Virgil flashed Roman a shy smile. He loved each and every one of these people, after only two days. Virgil couldn’t say it, not even to Roman, but he knew it, and he knew they all cared for each other just as much as he cared for them.

At Roman’s words, Logan fell to his knees, the rest of them following without hesitation. They sat there as Logan sobbed and sobbed, just comforting him as he felt the feelings that Virgil knew had been building up for a long time. After what could have been minutes or hours, Logan’s sobs slowed, and Roman, Patton, and Dee began shifting, knowing they had to leave soon.

“I don’t want to move as much as everyone else but we do have a murderous cult after us,” Dee reminded them. “We gotta get back to the castle, get Roman’s car, and get the hell out of Dodge.”

“I can carry him out,” Roman volunteered, rubbing his hand up and down Logan’s arm though he seemed so out of it Virgil doubted he even noticed.

Virgil knew they were right, but after what he had learned from Remus, there was one more thing he needed to do. “You guys head to the car, I’ll meet you out there in a few,” Virgil said. “I just need a minute.”

“Okay kiddo,” Patton said skeptically, “Whatever you need… although someone should probably stay back with you, I don’t know how you’ll get to the car on your own.”

“I’ll manage,” Virgil said shortly. “Just go, I’ll be there soon.”

With that, the other four left, Roman carrying Logan in his arms. Once they were gone, Virgil tried to push the tugging coming from Logan out of his mind. He wanted to see just what these powers could do. He was surrounded by people under a sleep curse, with a demon feeding on their dreams, he should be able to sense that, right?

Virgil closed his eyes and put his hand against the wall to steady himself. He focused on the people surrounding him, on the energy they possessed.

Suddenly, Virgil could feel it. He could feel just the slightest of tugging pulling him in every direction a person was in. He even felt the gentle warmth of the magic coming from the people closest to him, instead of the tugging. Virgil started to smile, then stopped.

Out of nowhere, the light feeling of the magic went cold and Virgil froze. He hears a voice, echoing in his mind. Was this… was this the demon? Virgil opened his eyes, trying to focus on the real world to block out the voice, but it didn’t work. Because the voice was just as real as everything else around him.

_ "Viiiiirgil…” _ the voice droned in his mind, sending a shiver down Virgil’s spine.  _ “Oh Virgil, better get me out of your head quick,” _ the voice continued,  _ “Before you become like meeee…”  _ The voice faded, its last whisper sticking in Virgil’s head the most, as the Demon said.  _ “You _ will _be bad...._ ”

When the voice stopped the magic returned to how it felt before, but this time it didn’t seem beautiful or amazing, this time it scared him. Virgil tried to close off his mind to all the magic as he stumbled out the door, tripping and falling twice in his dizzy rush to the car, trying to get away from the magic, away from the demon, away from himself. Yet somehow Virgil knew he would never truly be able to escape it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what'd you guys think? I'll be replying to your comments and Copper will when she gets back, so let us know! As usual head over to my story for Logan's thought process in all of this, and I'll see you Wednesday!  
> -Salem


	8. Patton Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's me again. Here's the interlude, from our little puffball this time! -S  
> Trigger warnings: Dysphoria, overbinding, they spend basically the whole time dealing with injuries so blood and stuff too

Patton liked to think of himself as a fairly positive person. Even in bad situations, he was able to help keep people calm because he didn’t panic. He always looked for the bright side or the silver lining to the situation. However, right now, Patton was having trouble finding anything to be positive about.

The fight had been pretty intense, and he knew it would have been a lot worse if Virgil and Roman hadn’t shown up when they had.

Logan clearly had injuries, though he hadn’t let Patton look at them yet, instead running off with Roman, who Patton had had to kick out for fretting over Virgil too much, which Patton had to admit was adorable (though it had gotten in the way), but that was not enough of a bright side.

Virgil was alive, which was something, but while he was unconscious Patton didn’t have a good way of figuring out the extent of the damage done. Logan was feeling so guilty and with Roman so concerned, Patton couldn’t bring himself to tell them that it could easily be much worse than a concussion. It could be a brain bleed, there could be brain damage, Patton really wouldn’t know until Virgil woke up. He just focused on the best-case scenario, hoping it was a concussion.

Yet, even as he thought about how funny and adorable it had been seeing Roman fretting over Virgil like a concerned boyfriend. Even when Patton focused on the fact that they had all made it out alive. Even when he assured himself that what Virgil had was just a severe concussion, none of it was enough to calm him down in this situation. Nothing was enough to take his mind off of the thing he always worried about, the thing that scared him more than anything else.

Dee had been hurt.

After what had happened with Virgil, Dee’s injuries objectively were not the most concerning, but to Patton they were all that mattered. Yet, Patton forced himself to focus on Virgil first, trying to ignore all the ‘what if’s’ flying through his head as he stitched up the gash on the back of Virgil’s head.

‘What if Dee lost too much blood?’

‘What if Dee’s injuries got infected?’

‘What if Virgil hadn’t shown up when he had?’

‘What if Dee had died?’

Patton bit his lip anxiously as he finished up Virgil’s stitches. They definitely weren’t great, as Patton had been in a rush so he could attend to Dee. Patton felt a little bad about it, but they were on the back of Virgil’s head, so he wouldn’t be able to see them. Plus, Virgil’s hair would cover it.

Patton took a moment just to check Virgil’s pulse one last time before he nearly sprinted around to the other side of the bed to get to Dee. He felt the stiffness in his back and pain in his ribs as he moved, but chose to ignore it. He’d deal with his binder later. He’d already worn it for 48 hours, a couple more wouldn’t hurt. Plus, he had to help Dee. He had to protect Dee. 

‘What ifs’ continued to fly through Patton's head as he gently removed the cloth that he had given Dee to hold on his thigh. He took in a sharp breath when he saw the injury, though he had already seen it in the alley.

There was a long gash down Dee’s thigh, still bleeding heavily as Patton quickly got to work. He tried to forget this was Dee. He had to calm down, and he couldn’t calm down knowing this was Dee.

Patton’s hands were shaking as he prepared the materials. He had some numbing cream that he had used on Virgil as well, though he didn’t know how well it worked, and Virgil hadn’t exactly been able to tell him. He used it anyway, taking deep breaths as he waited for it to take effect, hoping his hands would stop shaking.

Patton had done many first aid classes, he was much more advanced in this stuff than anyone else he knew. He wasn’t squeamish like many people often assumed from his childish attitude, and he was normally able to keep a level head in these kinds of situations, his need to help coming before any other thoughts or feelings, but this was Dee, this was his  _ brother _ , this was the person Patton knew he couldn’t live without. And it was because of that reason that Patton knew he couldn’t look at Dee’s face. He needed to forget this was Dee, even if for only a moment, so he could help.

Patton grabbed a sterilized needle and cleaned the area as best as he could before he carefully started stitching. He heard Dee hiss and opened his mouth to apologize before remembering how this had happened, and how reckless Dee had been. He decided these were the natural consequences and stayed quiet. 

Dee knew a lot of self-defense. He had gotten into his fair share of fights in school (mostly with people that bullied Patton), and had gotten a black eye or two. But this was different. Those people hadn’t just been middle school bullies. They had been skilled fighters, yet Patton had watched as Dee had fought them as they came for Patton, putting himself in danger to protect his little brother.

That had scared Patton enough, but the worst part was right before Virgil had shown up. A cultist had tried to stab Dee in the eye and Dee had caught the person's arm. Patton had watched as Dee tried to hold the knife back, but the other person had been stronger, and Dee had been losing.

Though it had only been moments, it had felt like hours as Patton had watched the knife approaching Dee’s eye slowly. He couldn’t do anything. He didn’t know how to fight, he was weaker than Dee, and he was much smaller than the cultist attacking Dee, so he had just watched in horror. 

When Virgil had shown up, it was as if the world had started spinning again, before Patton had realized the extent of the injuries Dee had still managed to sustain during the fight. But he couldn’t think about all of that right now. Right now he was stitching up a wound, something he knew how to do, and that is what he had to focus on.

For a few minutes, that was exactly what Patton did. He focused on the repetitive movement of the stitches, using the tediousness to try and calm himself down. He was doing a pretty good job until Dee spoke, reminding him once more of who was laying on the bed in front of him. 

“So…” Dee said. “That went greeeeat.”

Patton couldn’t respond. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Dee’s face. He couldn’t allow himself to think too much about how this was  _ Dee _ . He didn’t think he would be able to finish if he did.

Patton looked at Virgil for a moment, focusing on that. He cared about all of these people, but he didn’t know Virgil as well, and he could think of his injury more objectively than the one he was currently stitching. He watched Virgil breathe for a moment before turning back to his work, forcing himself to think about Virgil’s injuries, and how he would help when Virgil woke up. He allowed the stitching to become mindless as he carefully kept his thoughts away from Dee. 

“Pat,  _ relax _ . We’re all fine, alright?”

Patton took a deep breath, trying to keep himself together. He felt as if his world was falling apart as he carefully tied off his stitches and turned his attention to the cut across Dee’s cheekbone. ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it,’ Patton reminded himself as he tried to keep himself from screaming at his brother. Trying to explain that it was his fault, that he had to protect Dee, and he had failed and now Dee was hurt and…

Patton felt his hands starting to shake again as he prepared Dee’s face for the stitches. ‘You have to stay calm,’ Patton reminded himself, ‘If you freak out now you will just make everything worse’.

Patton forced his hands to steady and was about to start the stitches before his surface moved as Dee spoke again.

“Pat I’m serious,” Dee sighed. “Calm the fuck down. I’m not actually your responsibility, you don’t have to worry about me all the time. I’m saying that both to comfort you and because your shaking hands are holding a needle way too close to my face right now.” 

Suddenly, Patton couldn’t hold back his feelings anymore. His hands started shaking even more violently and hot wet tears fell from his eyes as he snapped, part of his brain still reminding him to keep his volume low for Virgil.

“Then maybe you should stop acting like you’re responsible for me and stop being so dang reckless!” Patton’s brain was yelling at him to stop, he couldn’t do this, at least not until Dee was all patched up, but once the words had started he couldn’t stop them. “If you hadn’t been acting so reckless, taking on too many people to protect me, maybe we wouldn’t be laying on this bed right now! You could have been killed!” The tears were coming faster now as his quiet yelling became sobs as he forced out more words, “You scared me,” Patton sobbed, “I thought you were going to die.”

Dee was quiet for a moment as he watched Patton cry. Patton couldn’t believe he was doing this. He had to finish his stitching, he couldn’t break down like this right now. Patton took a few deep breaths and swallowed hard, forcing the tears to stop as he grabbed the needle again and did the stitches as quickly and neatly as he could. He had to get these done before he fell apart again.

Dee didn’t move or speak as he let Patton finish, which he appreciated, but the moment Patton was done, he spoke up as he reached out and gently wiped a stray tear from Patton’s cheek. 

“Look I’m sorry I scared you,” Dee promised. “But protecting you is kind of my job. You’re my little brother Pat, I’m always gonna be ready to fuck someone up for you.”

“I know that,” Patton admitted feebly, “I just wish you wouldn’t risk your own life to do it.” The tears started to flow again as Patton continued, “When you hurt, I hurt too. And if I were to lose you-” Patton couldn’t finish his sentence as another sob escaped his throat at the thought. He didn’t know who he would be without Dee in his life. Dee was a part of who he was. Dee made him laugh and annoyed him all of the time. Dee never listened when Patton scolded him about his language. Dee was always there when he was upset to tell him that everything would be okay. Dee may seem snarky and harsh at times, but he was always there for Patton. Patton couldn’t imagine having anyone else as a brother. He loved Dee.

Dee reached out carefully and grabbed Patton's hand. Patton looked at Dee as he spoke, seeing the genuine care in his eyes. “Marshmallow, you know I feel the same way, right? That’s why I take these risks even if they are maybe reckless every once in a while.”

Patton knew Dee was right. He knew if situations were reversed, he would have done the same thing, but that didn’t mean he liked it. “I know. Just, promise me you’ll try to be a little more careful in the future. Please.”

Dee rolled his eyes. “Whatever, dad.”

Patton knew this wouldn’t be the last time they had this conversation. He knew Dee would continue to take risks like this and Patton would get just as scared every time, but for now, Patton chose to believe those words. He chose to believe that Dee would be safe, no matter how false that hope would be.

Patton finished bandaging the rest of Dee’s more minor cuts and scratches, then Dee shifted slightly and patted the spot on the bed beside him, motioning for Patton to join. Patton smiled and got on the bed carefully. Dee immediately wrapped his arms around Patton and began humming a song from the Wizard of Oz. Patton didn’t know when Dee had decided he had to comfort Patton, especially considering he was the one that was injured, but Patton decided he didn’t care as he closed his eyes and listened to Dee hum, thinking of the movie they had bonded over, the movie that had brought them together.

He thought of the amazing years with Dee and reminded himself that there were still many more years to come. Nothing could pull him and Dee apart, they were famILY. He thought of Dee’s pet snake, who had been gotten and named by them both, named after the movie they had bonded over, Toto. Patton had given the snake to Dee entirely after learning the mice weren’t just more pets, but food. But Dee had kept the name. He would never forget how much that movie meant to him and Dee’s relationship and hearing Dee humming to songs right then just reminded him of it even more.

“Speaking of concerns…” Dee began, pausing in his humming.

Patton rolled his eyes, knowing what was coming. “No.”

“I don’t care if we’re on the run,” Dee scolded, using his ‘mom’ voice he only seemed to use with Patton. Sometimes he wanted to tell the others about it, but knew they would never believe him. “You can’t destroy your spine by wearing your binder so much. For fuck’s sake, your posture is going to be as bad as Virgil’s, is that what you want?”

“No,” Patton said, ignoring the comment about Virgil. “But I also don’t want to feel like crap all the time.”

“Have you taken it off once since we left Florida?”

“...maybe.”

“Oh my God my brother’s an idiot,” Dee sighed. “Look, Pat, I know it sucks, but you gotta take it off! It’s been like two days! You’re gonna bruise your ribs, it’s a miracle you can still breathe! I’m fucking amazed you didn’t suffocate in your sleep!”

“It’s just…” Patton started. “There’s so much craziness going on. I don’t think I could handle being that dysphoric on top of everything else.”

“Have you considered we are  _ literally  _ on the run?” Dee pointed out. “If we have to  _ actually  _ run or fucking fight again, which we probably will, you’re not gonna be able to breathe and probably get us all killed. I know, it’s gonna suck and I’m not gonna pretend to understand, but you have to take it off for a while. You can always talk to me or something okay?”

“Okay,” Patton sighed weakly. He ran down to the car before changing in another room. After that, he immediately came back in and snuggled up to Dee again.

“I love you, Dee,” Patton said quietly.

“Yeah, I love you too or whatever,” Dee replied, and Patton could hear the smile in his voice. Dee went back to humming as Patton closed his eyes, relaxing into his brother’s embrace. Patton smiled. Dee would always be his brother, and that was something Patton could rely on, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's Patton! And if you haven't already you definitely want to check out my end because the other interlude is Dee and, well, you guys already know from the tags but Dee learns some stuff about himself. See ya Sunday! -Salem


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, back with another chapter!!! Sorry I haven't been replying to comments, I didn't have my laptop and phone for a week so thank saibug for keeping all of this up to date!!! But now I am back and excited to keep updating this fic!!!  
> Trigger warnings: self-deprecation and self-blame, concussion,

Virgil was alone on the roof. Dee had left a few minutes ago, seeming distressed after Virgil had told him about his powers as basically being a magic lie detector. Virgil knew how that shock felt, and honestly Dee had taken it a lot better than he had, but Virgil still felt bad. Dee would never have had to go through this life changing realization if it wasn’t for Virgil.

Virgil was starting to get dizzy after standing for too long, so he carefully made his way to some crates to sit down. Once he was sitting and the world stopped spinning, his thoughts took over once more. 

‘This was  _ my _ fault,’ Virgil thought to himself, ‘if it weren’t for my powers, I never would have hurt Dee.’

Virgil shuddered at the thought. His powers had only caused everyone harm since he arrived, making Logan feel bad, causing Dee to have to deal with a life changing realization that he never would have had to learn about if it weren’t for Virgil.

He thought back to what the Demon had told him earlier, when he had reached out to the people. “You will be just like me.” The voice was right. These powers were making him bad. He was stuck with this thing that controlled him, that made him a bad person.

Virgil fought the tears welling in his eyes and causing his vision to blur. Virgil gripped his hoodie sleeves until his knuckles turned white, trying to focus on his breathing. He was absolutely  _ not  _ going to have a panic attack now. He wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t show weakness. He had to prove the demon wrong. He had to prove  _ himself _ wrong. He had to prove that he was good, that he could help, despite the evil within him. But in order to do that, he had to stop being such a burden on the others, he had to stop causing them pain, and he had to do what he could to keep these powers hidden as deeply inside of him as he could.

He hadn’t noticed how long it had been until he heard the trapdoor creak, meaning someone was coming up. He quickly wiped off his eyes and took a deep breath, composing himself. It was Patton.

‘He must be here to yell at me for hurting Dee,’ Virgil thought. He knew the Demon from earlier would agree. Patton must hate him. Dee definitely hated him after what he had told him, and probably Logan too, considering Virgil’s reaction to his powers was probably what triggered Logan’s attack. And Roman…well, Roman would learn to hate him eventually. Eventually they would find out who Virgil truly was, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

Virgil saw as Patton looked at him in concern. Shit, he probably looked like an absolute disaster. And now he was just going to hurt Patton and the others more by worrying them.

Patton looked at Virgil in concern. “You okay kiddo? Is your head bothering you? You need some more pain meds? I’ve got some downstairs.”

It took Virgil a moment to figure out what Patton was talking about. Yeah, his head was bothering him, but he didn’t see how pain medication would help. Then it hit him. Of course Patton would assume it was Virgil’s concussion bothering him, and not his anxiety and the memory of a Demon speaking to him. That isn’t exactly something people often assume. Virgil took the excuse gladly.

“Yeah, it is, but I’m okay. I just decided to stay up here where it’s quiet, and I’m feeling better now.” Virgil put on the most convincing smile he could. Patton clearly didn’t seem to believe him, but he let it drop.

“Okay, well I just came up here to tell you that Logan is awake, so when you’re ready we need to discuss our next step.”

“Great, I’ll be down in a minute.” Virgil said. Patton nodded then walked away, giving him one last concerned glance before climbing down the ladder.

Once Patton was gone, Virgil sighed. He had to get control of his thoughts before he went downstairs. He forcibly shoved them from the forefront of his mind, leaving emptiness in their place. With one last deep breath, Virgil stood up and unsteadily climbed down from the roof, ready to talk to the others.

When Virgil got downstairs the others were all sitting around the room ready to talk. Virgil felt bad for making them wait. At least Logan seemed to be doing better. He quickly settled on the bed between Dee and Logan to relieve the tension in his chest. He knew this discussion wouldn’t be fun and just wanted to get it over with.

“Okay, I’m here, let’s get this over with,” Virgil said once he was settled.

“Well then, let’s get started, kiddos,” Patton said. “What should we do about Remus?”

“We definitely can’t trust him!” Roman exploded immediately. He gave Virgil an apologetic look and quickly lowered his volume. “He’s been lying to me for years, why wouldn’t he be lying now?”

Virgil looked at Roman for a moment, taking a second to recover from the pain of Roman’s yelling, before he spoke. “I agree with Roman,” Virgil said, “he clearly can’t be trusted, no matter how helpful he could be.”

“That was very emotionally charged,” Logan pointed out. “We cannot make decisions based on our own feelings, especially not when it comes to our survival.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and shifted slightly. “Okay, then let me rephrase. He can’t be trusted because he has clearly lied plenty in the past, and we have no proof that he has changed.”

“I don’t know that I agree with that kiddo,” Patton joined in gently, “I think that him risking his life to give us information is pretty good proof that he can be trusted.”

Of course Patton would trust Remus. Patton was clearly the type of person that saw the best in others, but Virgil knew better. He knew people couldn’t be trusted too easily in any circumstance, but after what Remus had done to Roman, there was no way Virgil would ever trust him, no matter what proof they thought they had.

“That means nothing-” Roman started.

“He’s telling the truth.” Dee cut him off.

Fuck. They did have proof, of course they did, cause they had Dee’s powers. Virgil hated this. Not only did trusting someone like this go against everything in him, but it would hurt Roman. But if Dee said Remus was telling the truth, then Remus was telling the truth.

“And how do you know that?” Roman scoffed.

“Because I have powers, asshat,” Dee retorted. He exchanged a look with Patton and took a breath before continuing. “Earlier Virgil figured out I had powers. Basically I’m a human lie detector. And yes we tested it. I didn’t sense a lie when I was talking to Remus so he’s telling the truth.”

Virgil tried to ignore the desperate look Roman gave him as his heart sank. This was it, his powers had officially caused him to hurt everyone.

“That is interesting.” Logan said.

“Look, let’s not dwell on what my powers have told us, okay? I don’t care what Dee felt, he didn’t even know about his powers then, so it isn’t like they were very reliable! Remus can’t be trusted!” Virgil snapped, trying desperately to reverse the hurt he had caused Roman.

“Alright fine don’t trust me,” Dee snapped back. He shot to his feet ignoring the noise of protest from Patton. “We’re doing this bullshit together right? So we vote. I vote we trust him.”

Virgil immediately felt guilty once more, though this time because he was questioning Dee’s powers, the ones he had just told him about. Virgil stayed quiet as he waited for the other’s to vote, not knowing what to do. He knew Dee was probably right, but he couldn’t hurt Roman, and no matter how reliable Dee’s powers were, he just couldn’t trust Remus.

“I’m with Dee,” Patton chipped in, “I think we can trust him, and I trust Dee’s powers.”

“ _ Thank  _ you, Patton,” Dee drawled, glaring at Virgil. Virgil looked down at his hands, which were quickly pulling at his hoodie sleeves. He just couldn’t do anything right. No matter what he said, he always managed to hurt someone.

“I vote to work with him,” Logan declared. “Trust may be a strong word that he certainly has not earned, however we should take the risk. We have very little resources, it would be foolish to turn Remus away.”

“Well then apparently I’m outvoted,” Roman muttered, loud enough for the whole group to hear. He stood abruptly and walked briskly to the door, pausing only once he stood in the now open doorway. “I need some air.”

Then he slammed the door behind him.

Virgil got up and out of the bed quickly, stumbling as the dizziness hit him but continuing in his quest to follow Roman, trying to blink back the tears in his eyes. This was his fault. Roman had done so much for him, and when it was Virgil’s chance to do something for Roman, his stupid powers screwed it up. Suddenly someone’s hand was on his shoulder and easing him back onto the bed. When he could see right again he saw Logan standing over him.

“I’ll check on him,” Logan said quietly. “You stay here. You have other things to sort out.”

Virgil nodded reluctantly and watched as Logan walked out of the room. Once the door closed, Virgil turned on the bed quickly to face away from Patton and Dee as his tears began to fall. “I’m sorry.” He said so quietly he wasn’t sure the other two could hear him.

“For what, kiddo?” Patton asked gently. So apparently they had heard.

“For discovering Dee’s powers,” Virgil said, “I messed everything up and freaked you out and you are both probably mad at me and I get it. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I’m sorry.”

Silence. Virgil just had time to wonder if they were so mad they couldn’t even voice it when Dee stormed over to him and smacked him on the forehead. 

“Ow, shit,” Virgil muttered. Once he had recovered he added, “yeah, I probably deserve that.”

“Yeah, because you’re an idiot.” Dee rolled his eyes. “Virgil, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about you discovering my powers. Maybe I’ll have an identity crisis later, who knows? But what pissed me off now is that even after being the one to discover my powers you immediately turned on a dime and didn’t trust them, or me! What the fuck was that about?!”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil mumbled again, “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t wanna hurt Roman. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

“If you apologize one more time I’m gonna hit you again,” Dee threatened. “Listen, Roman can take care of himself. Last time I checked, he’s an adult. He needs to act like one and stop making decisions about whether or not we know if we’re safe based on the fact that he got his feelings hurt. He’s being a fucking moron, and he’ll realize that. You can’t always sugarcoat shit just so you don’t hurt people’s feelings.” 

“Okay,” Patton cut in. “Dee’s being a little harsh. I think what he means is that while Roman being upset is completely valid,” Patton shot Dee a look before turning back to Virgil, “lying about it isn’t gonna help, and it isn’t your job to protect him, or anyone, from the truth. And that includes you telling Dee about his powers.”

“But-” Virgil started, before Dee cut him off.

“Nuh-uh, nope, cut the bullshit. No more excuses, no more apologies except maybe one more for being a bitch. After that you just get your shit together.”

“Okay. I’m sorry,” Virgil said sincerely, looking at Dee. Then, Virgil tried to push himself off the bed, “I’m gonna go check on Roman-” He started, before he felt hands on his shoulders, pushing him down once more.

“Absolutely not,” Patton said, “Logan has got that handled, and with a concussion like yours you should have spent days in bed, but clearly that isn’t gonna happen, so you’re gonna at least lay down now.” Patton then turned to Dee with a glare, “That goes for you too. Sit down on this bed right now.”

Virgil sighed but didn’t object. He had to admit, he was exhausted, and felt like crap. He was mildly worried he would throw up again as his stomach and the dizziness really didn’t get along, but decided not to mention that as Patton seemed annoyed enough as it was. Instead, he just followed Patton’s instructions and laid down, scooting over to make room for Dee.

“No I gotta get outta here before I do something even more bitchy,” Dee sighed. “I’m not mad anymore and I accept your apology, I just gotta cool off. You two do your fluffy bonding shit, I’ll be on the roof.”

Before Patton could object, Dee left, leaving Virgil feeling worse. Patton sighed and sat next to Virgil on the bed. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he really isn’t mad at you anymore, it’s just a stressful situation for all of us.”

Virgil nodded and closed his eyes, just wanting to escape the world for a few hours, before remembering the weird dreams of parent’s he didn’t remember. He sighed and opened his eyes. “Hey Patton?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“Could you bring my bag over here?” Virgil asked. 

“Sure kiddo,” Patton said, quickly getting up to grab the backpack. Once he had brought it over Virgil opened it and dug through all of his clothes to find his book. His clothes had mostly protected it from the rain, although the pages were slightly warped, but otherwise it was okay. Virgil opened the book to read before Patton stopped him.

“You can’t read with your concussion,” Patton said. Virgil sighed. Of course not. He closed the book sadly and set it beside him, before Patton spoke again, “I could read it to you.”

Virgil hesitated, before handing the book to Patton without a word. Patton settled into a nearby chair and opened it to the marked page. “Can I ask a question before I start?” Patton asked quietly.

Virgil shrugged. What harm could it do at this point. Logan already knew his deepest life secrets, it wasn’t like Patton could go much deeper than his anxiety and amnesia, so might as well see what he had to ask.

“Why Harry Potter?” Patton asked. “I know I love the Wizard of Oz because it was the movie Dee and I bonded over, so I was wondering if Harry Potter had any special meaning to you, considering you brought the book all this way.”

Huh, so that was why Patton was so excited about going to Kansas. Virgil couldn’t help but grin as he glanced at Patton, apparently they both had happy memories connected to kids stories. “My parent’s read it to me when I was scared.” Virgil said simply. Patton nodded and didn’t push, instead beginning to read in a soothing voice, making Virgil feel he was safe at home again. Virgil closed his eyes as he listened, allowing himself to escape into a different world, until, all too soon, the others returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for reading!!! I'm back to reply to comments too, so keep commenting away, I loved reading the ones I missed too!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back!! Sorry about the delay between chapter postings, there were som technical difficulties. Also sorry about how long this chapter is, over 6k, but if you don't like long chapters I should warn you these chapters get up to 17k, so like maybe stop reading now lol. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy!!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> dissociation, self-deprecation, extreme pain, concussion, guns and knives, anxiety  
> As always let me know if I missed anything!!!

Virgil heard movement and opened his eyes slightly to see Logan and Roman coming into the room. A huge grin broke across his face that his sleepy self didn’t have the energy to suppress. He pushed himself up onto his elbows with a yawn and gave them a small wave.

“Heeey,” Virgil mumbled. “Patton was reading to me, wanna join?”

Virgil’s grin grew and his body immediately relaxed as the annoying, near painful, tugging sensation faded when Logan sat down on the bed next to him. He happily snuggled into Logan, abandoning the pillow he had been laying on before for this new, much comfier pillow. He shifted his head to look at Roman. He had to join too!

Roman came around to Virgil’s other side and Vigil couldn’t suppress a giggle as Roman wrapped his arm around Virgil’s waist and kissed him on the forehead. Roman smiled at him softly.

“As much as I would love to,” Roman said with a sigh, “Someone has to retrieve our sardonic friend from wherever it is he wandered off to.”

“I think he is on the roof,” Patton said from where he was sitting in the chair by the bed. “You want me to go get him? That way you can stay here.”

“No I should go with you!” Roman argued hurriedly. Virgil was a little confused until Roman added,. “In case Dee, uh, needs help getting down!”

This made sense, but that didn’t mean Virgil’s sleepy brain was gonna accept it that easily. He wanted to keep reading! “But then who's gonna read the book!” Virgil objected, inwardly cringing at how whiny and sleepy he sounded.

“Logan can read it!” Roman suggested, Virgil smiled as he watched Roman take the book from Patton, careful not to lose the page, and hand it to Logan.

“Roman don’t you dare-” Logan whispered harshly at Roman. 

“Come on Padre!” Roman held an arm out for Patton to take like a gentleman escorting his lady. Patton giggled and took it. “Have fun you two!”

Virgil sighed as he watched the two leave the room, wishing they had been able to stay but content with just being with Logan for a while. Virgil looked up at Logan with sleepy eyes. 

"Read please?” He asked as he let himself relax into Logan’s side. “Harry Potter is my favorite.”

“I enjoy it as well,” Logan agreed. “Even if the magic is completely incorrect.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and was going to object, saying that that was the point, who would want to read a book where everything was the same as the real world, but Logan started reading, and suddenly that was all Virgil could think about. He listened as Logan’s voice painted the story of magic and adventure and friendship, giggling when Logan put on a perfect british accent to read any lines of dialogue. Virgil could feel himself waking up, and embarrassment for making Logan read to him was beginning to creep in, but Virgil felt so relaxed and so  _ safe _ , he didn’t want Logan to stop, as he could feel Logan relaxing against him as well.

All too soon, the others returned and Virgil felt Logan stiffen against him one more. He tried to ignore it as he stayed in his position against Logan, both too comfortable to move and not wanting to risk any dizziness it would bring.

“So!” Roman said, clapping his hands lightly. “We should probably make the call before we do anything else, right? I’m not doing it because if I have to talk to him I may throw the phone out the window. So, volunteers?”

“Dee should do it,” Virgil said. He still felt horrible about it earlier and wanted to show that no matter what he had said in his time of desperation, he did trust Dee’s powers. “He has his powers, he will know if Remus is trying to set up any sort of trap.”

“Alright,” Dee shrugged. “But you’re gonna have to get off him you fucking octopus so Logan can actually give me the phone.”

Virgil sighed and slowly shifted off of Logan, careful not to move too fast, but he didn’t move far. He waited impatiently as Logan pulled out the phone and handed it to Dee, before happily settling back onto Logan. 

“The only number in there is Remus’s,” Logan said. 

Dee quickly found the contact and switched it to speaker, so they could all hear the line ringing. There was a click just before a familiar voice spoke. Roman’s face hardened and Virgil shot him a sympathetic look.

“Shhh,” Remus said quickly and harshly. They all stayed quiet as they heard voices on the other end. Shit, had they gotten Remus caught? Virgil may be pissed the fuck off with him, but that didn’t mean he wanted their spy to get caught! No matter how much Virgil hated to admit it, they needed him.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just one of my team members, I’ve gotta take it.” They heard Remus say, before another voice in the background. They heard some shuffling before Remus spoke again.

“Shit, sorry guys. I’m so fucking glad you called!” Remus said in a whisper. Okay, good, he hadn’t been caught. Now, back to being mad “So, you’ve decided to give me a chance?”

“A tentative one,” Dee said. “But yeah, we have. But we’re also ready if you pull anything, asshole, so don’t even try it.”

“Yeah, I guess I deserve that,” Remus replied, failing to hide the hurt in his voice, which Virgil chose to ignore. Remus didn’t get to act like a victim here, not after what he had done to Roman. After a moment, they heard Remus clear his throat. “Well, I’ve gotta make this quick. I don’t know anything new, this cult is so fucking secretive even to its members. Even if I did have information, I wouldn’t share it over the phone, I’m not a moron. So, we should plan to meet up again.”

“Fine,” Dee answered hastily. He glared at Roman who looked sheepish, though Virgil thought he had every right to go off at Remus, even if now may not be the most ideal time. “We should probably get on the move soon anyway. Where?”

“Wherever you guys are can work for me. This cult has a shit ton of resources,” Remus explained. “I’ll just make up some bullshit excuse as to why I need to go there. They will let me.”

Suddenly, they heard a yell on the other end. “What the HELL is taking so long!” A voice yelled that they could barely make out. Virgil stiffened.

“Shit, I’ve gotta go. Let me know when you have a location,” Remus said hastily. Then the line went dead. Virgil hoped they hadn’t gotten him caught.

“Well that was ominous as shit,” Dee sighed. He handed the phone back to Logan who took it with a nod. “Don’t suppose anyone has any ideas?”

“Perhaps Iowa?” Logan suggested, he shrugged, annoying Virgil as he shifted slightly to not allow his head to fall off of Logan’s shoulder. Virgil felt Logan run his fingers through his hair a couple times and smiled, before grumbling as he repositioned himself to stay leaning on Logan.

“Like in the Music Man, right,” Virgil asked, looking at Roman for approval. They had this little game that when someone thought they remembered a detail about something the other liked, they’d point it out, to show they cared and listened to each other.

“What is it with you people and pop culture references,” Logan muttered. Virgil rolled his eyes. Yeah, sure, if pop culture is a broadway show from the 50’s and movie from the 60’s that takes place in the early 1900’s, then sure, that was a pop culture reference.

“First of all, yes,” Roman nodded to Virgil before pointing at Logan. Virgil smiled. “Second of all, do you just have a map of the US memorized?”

“Don’t you?” Logan questioned. Virgil bit back a laugh as Roman replied.

“You are such a nerd.”.

“Roman, be nice,” Patton scolded, before refocusing. “I’m pretty bad at geography, you could say I’m geo _ crappy. _ Sorry, I know that pun wasn’t great, but  _ Iran _ out of good puns!” Patton chuckled to himself before continuing. Logan buried his face in Virgil’s hair and groaned quietly, causing Virgil to chuckle. He didn’t know what it was with Patton and puns, but it annoyed Logan and Virgil loved it. “Anyways, despite that, I think Iowa sounds fine! We just need to figure out what to do about the car situation.”

“What do you mean?” Roman asked. 

“Well, we have two cars. We could all fit in one, but we also have enough drivers to bring both. And if we do bring both, who rides with who?” Patton explained. Virgil sighed. He knew his anxiety was telling him this, but this time it seemed reasonable so he decided to voice his opinion.

“We should probably bring both,” Virgil suggested, “Just in case something happens to one of them.”

“Yeah that's a fair point,” Dee said. Virgil sighed in relief. So he wasn’t just being overly paranoid. That was good.

“Well Logan and Dee have to be in a car with Virgil because of his powers,” Roman pointed out. “So me and Patton can be in mine, while those three ride in Logan’s! Besides, I’ve wanted some bonding time with my favorite little puffball, anyway.”

“AWW!” Patton squealed, his cheeks turning pink, “Roman! You’re so sweet!”

“I don’t need you guys to do that!” Virgil protested. He didn’t want his powers to be this huge factor in every decision the group made. He could handle himself. “We should have at least one other driver with you and Patton!”

“But then the other car only has one driver,” Dee pointed out. “As pissed as it makes me to admit,” Dee sighed like his next words pained him. “Roman is right. We’ve got two cars and three drivers, so one car is gonna have one driver no matter what arrangement we do. Plus it isn’t like Iowa is far, it’s one state over. Without traffic it’ll probably take us what, five to six hours?”

Virgil sighed. Though Roman had been a great teacher, he still despised the idea of driving, however, if he was going to be a part of this group he had to help. He had to prove he was something other than a dangerous burden to all of them. 

“Four drivers,” Virgil corrected.

“I thought you said you couldn’t drive?” Logan questioned.

“Roman taught me on the way here. I’m not great but I’m not gonna accidentally kill anyone either.” Virgil sighed. “It’s only fair that each car has two drivers.” 

“You don’t exactly seem all that comfortable with the idea of driving kiddo. Like Dee said, it is only five to six hours, we don’t need you to drive if you don’t want to. Also, you really shouldn’t drive with that concussion. You could easily have a dizzy spell while driving and that would probably end bad for all of us.” Patton pointed out.

“Yeah okay,” Virgil grumbled. He really wanted to help, but honestly, he was gonna take the excuse. He really didn’t want to drive. “I guess I’m not exactly in the best shape to drive.”

“It’s settled then.” Roman was beaming, though Virgil didn’t understand why. Virgil winced slightly as Roman clapped in excitement, grateful when no one seemed to notice. “One more thing though.” He paused to point at Dee, Virgil, and Patton in turn. “You three need weapons. If we get in a fight again, I’ve got my sword and Logan has his powers, but you three have nothing.”

“Those guns Logan threw in that damn alley are probably still on that roof,” Dee said. “Guns kinda cramp my style, but maybe Patton or Virgil could use one?”

“I’m not using a gun,” Patton said quickly. “I’m not hurting people.”

“Pat this is our reality now,” Dee sighed and shot the others a look Virgil knew meant that if any of them brought this up later, they would be asleep too, but they wouldn’t have any hope of waking up. “Look, Marshmallow, this all fucking sucks but you gotta accept we’ll most likely have to fight a ton more and you’ve gotta have something. Maybe not a gun, but you can’t fight so you need some sort of weapon. I...I won’t always be able to protect you, so it’d make me feel a hell of a lot better if you had something to protect yourself with, alright?”

God, Virgil wished he had a sibling like that.

Patton nodded slowly. “Okay, fine. But no gun, okay?”

“What about a pocket knife or something?”

Patton paused for a moment before sighing. “Yeah, okay, I guess that would be fine.”

“Speaking of knives,” Roman cut in. “Didn’t that one big guy drop that huge knife he was threatening you guys with?”

“Oh  _ hell  _ yes,” Dee nodded vigorously. “I want that, definitely.”

“And Virge, what about you?” Roman turned to the boy in question. 

Virgil hesitated. He really didn’t like the idea of using a gun, but it seemed the most powerful choice for him to be able to help protect the others. “I could use one of the guns.” Virgil finally said, giving a small shrug.

“That may not be the best idea,” Logan finally spoke up. Virgil shifted so he was looking at Logan but Logan didn’t look down at him yet. “Guns are quite difficult to use and often take an extraordinary amount of time to learn to use well. It may be time we don’t have.”

“Well, it’s not like I know how to use any other weapon, might as well give it a shot.” Virgil knew he had made the pun, but he still playfully flinched when he heard Patton giggle, and defensively added, “Pun  _ not _ intended.”

“Don’t act like that was an accident,” Roman chuckled as well. Virgil sighed.

“I suppose it is your decision,” Logan relented. 

“Great, then Logan and Virgil can get the weapons while me, Pat, and Dee get everything ready to leave!” Roman paused, his face souring for a moment. Virgil wanted more than anything to give him a hug and make all the pain go away, but he knew it wasn’t that easy. “And Dee can give Remus the location I guess.”

“We shouldn’t call him again,” Logan hurried to say.

“Yeah he almost got his ass kicked last time,” Dee reminded them. “We should just text him, and Logan can handle that. Besides, my powers don’t work over text anyway. At least I don’t think they do.”

“We could always test that,” Virgil pointed out, still desperate to prove that he was on board with Dee’s powers. “If you want.”

“Sure,” Dee shrugged. “Someone put something in the server real quick then. Not Patton, I know more about him than he does at this point.”

“I’ll do it.” Roman pulled out his phone and typed something quickly before everyone’s phones buzzed.

Logan pulled out his phone and Virgil read over his shoulder, chuckling lightly at the lie.

Princey2.0: I was a tap dancer before I started swordplay

“Yeah I’ve got no fucking clue,” Dee shrugged seeming unbothered. 

“Yeah, I don’t feel anything either, and if your powers were working I would, cause that was a lie. Roman was a ballerina.” Virgil said with a smirk.

“Oh my God seriously?” Dee laughed, not even bothering trying to hide it.

“Which means I have the skills necessary to strangle you with my feet,” Roman said, his voice and face deadly serious. “Don’t test me, Janus.”

“Roman I swear to God,” Dee growled, starting to rise to his feet before Patton hurried to push him back down. Virgil was actually momentarily concerned for Roman’s life as he saw the look in Dee’s eyes. Fight-or-Flight kicked in (though Virgil knew he was most likely over reacting) and he decided it was time to duck out.

“Well, we’ll let you guys sort that out,” Virgil said quickly, “Logan, how about we go get the weapons now?”

“Yes before we are forced to witness a homicide,” Logan agreed. Virgil got up with Logan’s help, but turned slightly once they got to the door, glancing back at Roman.

“Good luck babe! Please be alive when I get back!” Virgil said with a mischievous smirk.

“Oh now you use a pet name!” 

Virgil was just able to hold back his laughter until they were out the door, at which point Virgil bent over, nearly crying he was laughing so hard, as he held Logan’s arm, trying not to fall as the laughing threw him into a dizzy spell. Logan started laughing as well, and they had to pause for a moment to compose themselves before they could move on with their original goal.

They stopped by a store real quick to grab a bag and a pocket knife for Patton, before making their way back to the alley, where they picked up Dee’s knife. Virgil went to climb the warped fire escape, knowing the guns were on the roof, before Logan stopped him and Virgil realized that that was probably for the best.

Logan then closed his eyes, and Virgil saw them glowing blue as they opened, and he raised his arm to guide the guns to them. Virgil had to glance away, as both the feeling of Logan’s powers and also how  _ extremely _ attractive Logan’s glowing eyes were hit him. He looked down at his hoodie sleeves as he fiddled with them, trying to hide the blush rising in his face.

“My apologies if I surprised you,” Logan said, startling Virgil slightly. “I simply wanted to avoid forcing you to scale an...incredibly damaged fire escape.”

“It’s all good,” Virgil said, glancing up from under his bangs to meet Logan’s eyes, trying to tame the pink in his cheeks. “I’m just… still getting used to it I guess.”

“Understandable,” Logan nodded and gave Virgil a reassuring smile before gesturing to the pile of weapons. “Take your pick.”

Virgil looked at the pile for a moment, before he realized he didn’t know shit about guns. What he did know was that he didn’t like them and didn’t want something too big, so he just grabbed a smaller one that he assumed was a pistol. He watched as Logan collected ammo from the other guns, glad he had thought of it because Virgil would have forgotten. Then, with their bag full of weapons, they began to walk back.

Virgil paused as Logan stopped suddenly by a door, confused as to what the delay was.

“If you want you could attempt to test your abilities with the gun.” Logan gestured toward the door. “This leads to a courtyard with an archery range, but we could also use the targets for bullets.”

“Oh,” Virgil rocked on his feet anxiously at the suggestion. It was a good idea, but he still didn’t really want to shoot the gun unless he had to. But then again, how would he be able to protect people if he had no clue what he was doing. “Yeah, sure I guess. We should probably let the others know though, so they don’t freak when they hear it.”

“Good point,” Logan agreed. Virgil waited as Logan typed a quick message, and Virgil felt his own phone buzz in his pocket. He felt it buzz again as someone replied, then Logan led him to a courtyard with targets and dummies and anything anyone could need to practice combat. 

Logan handed Virgil the gun and instructed Virgil as to how to stand, but Virgil just couldn’t get it right. He heard Logan sigh as he came up behind him, then hesitated.

“Virgil is it alright if I touch you?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Virgil said without hesitation. He appreciated Logan asking, but he really didn’t care, he just needed to fight off his gay panic that wouldn’t shut up as it yelled at him ‘hot boy touching you, hot boy touching you’.

Virgil felt more than heard Logan take the last step to close the distance between them as Logan spoke, his breath on Virgil’s ear.

“Feet shoulder width apart, like that,” Logan said, Virgil felt him nudge his feet as he corrected Virgil’s stance. Then, Logan wrapped his hands around Virgil’s and Virgil felt his breath catch in his throat. He didn’t have a crush on Logan, but damn that boy was hot. “Keep your elbows straight but don’t lock them up, you’ll just hurt them from the recoil. Hold your arms a little higher for right now, so they’re parallel to the ground-perfect.” Logan corrected his grip without speaking before stepping back, leaving Virgil’s neck feeling cold.

“Now all you have to do is aim and fire,” Logan said.

Virgil suddenly remembered what was actually happening. He was learning to use a gun, a weapon made to  _ kill _ people. God, how horrible was he? But then he reminded himself why he was doing it. It was to protect them, he had to protect them. Virgil took a breath, steadying his shaking hands. Before giving himself another moment to think, he fired at the target.

He didn’t see if he hit it or not, because suddenly black spots exploded in his vision as a sharp, fierce pain shot through his head at the loud bang the gun made. He didn’t know how he had gotten there, but he was on the ground. He closed his eyes tight against the pain and gripped his head. 

“Shit, fuck, ow!” Virgil yelled from where he sat on the ground. He knew him yelling would do no good, as the sound just made his head throb more and likely concerned Logan, but he couldn't help himself. “God fucking damn it.”  
Virgil continued to sit on the ground, rocking slightly as he bit his lip hard against the pain. The sharp pain from before had become a deep, intense throbbing as he tried to catch his breath. He felt Logan gently take his hands off his head but didn’t react, completely overwhelmed with pain. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Virgil was mumbling under his breath, keeping his eyes shut tight. He barely registered the tears as they made their way down his face. He had to breathe.

He felt Logan shift then heard a phone ring. He couldn’t hear the voice on the other end, but he could tell it was Patton. 

“Not quite,” Logan said. Virgil winced and whimpered as more tears came out. Logan needed to shut up. “Could you quickly bring Virgil some of the medication for his concussion? As soon as possible please.” 

“Please stop talking,” Virgil mumbled under his breath with as much force as he could. He noticed he was shaking but didn’t care. The pain was overwhelming. There was nothing but pain. “No more noise.”

He heard a soft beep as the call ended, before he felt Logan wrap his arms around him. His tense body couldn’t relax as he continued to whimper and shake, praying to gods he didn’t believe in that it would end. The intense throbbing continued despite that as Virgil tried to focus on Logan’s hand moving comfortingly on his back.

It felt like an eternity before Logan was gently nudging him and Virgil whimpered in response, but the nudging continued. He slowly raised his head and opened his eyes, wincing at the sudden light. That is when he saw Patton in front of him with some medication. Virgil shakily reached for it, nearly dropping it as Patton assisted him in taking it.

The pain stayed the same as Virgil closed his eyes once more, the only sound his own whimpering and a few curses that he muttered throughout, but Patton didn’t say anything about the language. He knew it would help if he could shut up, he was probably worrying the others, but he couldn’t stop. He had to bite his lip to keep himself from crying out, so whimpering seemed like enough of a compromise.

He felt himself being lifted off the ground and didn’t move as he was carried back to the bedroom and laid onto the bed gently. He continued to whimper, holding Logan’s hand tightly as he tried to push through the pain. It felt like an eternity before the intense throbbing slowly dulled, and he was able to breath again and his tears stopped. He sighed in relief.

It took him another minute before he could speak, but he needed to know the answer to this question. He needed to know if it had been worth it.

“Did I at least hit the target?” Virgil asked, his still pained voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course that’s your first thought,” Roman muttered before sighing and coming forward to take Virgil’s hand. Virgil held on tight.

“Actually yes you did,” Logan answered.

“Yay,” Virgil said half heartedly. At least that was something. “Next time lets try to avoid this though, cause that fucking sucked.”

“It was a foolish oversight on my part,” Logan sighed. “We’ll be sure to find earplugs on the way to Iowa.”

It wasn’t Logan’s fault, none of them had thought of it, and Virgil was going to say that but then Dee cut in and spoke.

“Speaking of Iowa,” Dee said. “We got all the stuff packed up and in the cars while all that shit was going down. Well except for the pain meds. But yeah we’re ready to get out of here whenever.”

“Yeah sorry ‘bout that,” Virgil muttered, suddenly feeling bad as he pushed himself up painfully and wiped his eyes on his hoodie sleeves. “I’m ready whenever you guys are.”

“Then let’s blow this popsicle stand,” Dee declared quietly.

Virgil carefully made his way outside with the others. The pain had mostly faded but it was still there, and he felt a dull throb in his head with every step, but he ignored it, not wanting to delay the others any longer. Patton was already in the car and Logan was arguing with Dee over who was going to drive, so Virgil was with Roman, saying goodbye for the next few hours.

“Well, I’ll see in a few hours Princey,” Virgil said, wincing slightly at his own completely normal volume. 

"You okay?" Roman asked quietly.

“I’ll be fine,” Virgil muttered, embarrassed once again. “What about you, are  _ you _ okay.”

"I'm...I'm managing," Roman sighed, not meeting his eyes. 

“Okay, well I’m just a text message away if you need anything.”

"Same for you."

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Vigil mumbled. “Anyways, have a nice drive with Patton. He can make anyone feel better. Bye.”

"I love you, see you in Iowa."

Roman leaned forward and gave Virgil a lingering kiss on the lips, and Virgil smiled into the warmth of the kiss. They had a whole year together without kissing, they had plenty of kisses to make up and Virgil had a feeling Roman would try to make up every single one. After a moment, Virgil sighed as they seperated, then slowly turned and walked over to the other car where Logan was in the back and Dee was driving. Virgil didn’t know how they had come to that conclusion, but didn’t complain as he crawled into the back next to Logan, and Dee began to drive.

Once they started driving, the thoughts he had forced away earlier began pushing back with renewed strength. 

‘You’re weak’

‘You’re dangerous’

‘You will only cause them harm’

‘You hurt Dee’

‘Your powers will make you hurt those you care about’

‘You are bad’

Virgil curled in on himself, thinking back to the demon’s voice, “you will be bad”. Virgil wanted so badly for the voice to be wrong, but some part of him knew it was right. It was a demon after all, and demons only communicate with bad people, right?

Despite his concussion and Patton’s instructions to not read and to avoid looking at screens, Virgil pulled out his phone. He glanced at Logan who seemed deeply involved in whatever he was doing on his phone, and quickly googled, “demon communication”.

It didn’t take long for Virgil to find an article, as the voices in his head screamed at him to stop. Screamed at him that this was pointless, they already knew he was bad. He already knew he was bad.

He looked at the article he had selected, titled: “Demon Communication: Can Anyone Do It”. He begged his brain to shut up and allow him to read the article but the thoughts refused to stop.

‘Burden on those around you’

‘Useless’

‘Waste of space’

‘Bad person’

‘Dangerous person’

‘Can’t be trusted’

Virgil was no longer aware of what was happening around him as he stared blankly at the article. He knew he was dissociating, and tried desperately to stop the spiral as he attempted to force himself to read the words on his phone. He hated when this happened. To him, this was even worse than a panic attack, because in that situation at least he was still aware, but when he was dissociating, the only thing he was aware of was his own thoughts, and that was never good.

Harmful thoughts continued to make themselves heard as Virgil sat in silence, forgetting his phone all together, despite the fact that he was sitting staring at it.

‘Only bad people can hear demons’

‘You’ve only caused trouble since the moment you got here’

‘You only cause pain’

‘They will never be safe with you’

It was true. It was all true. He couldn’t be trusted. He did hurt people. He was a bad person, he knew it, and soon everyone else would too.

Virgil was unaware of Logan looking up from his phone, and didn’t register his name being said until suddenly, he felt his phone being lifted from his hands. “Virgil!” Logan said. This time Virgil registered his name and looked up, surprised to find Logan was looking at him, concern written all over his face.

‘Look at what you’ve done now’ He thought, ‘worrying Logan. Why can’t you just go one minute without causing any harm-’

Virgil cut off the thoughts as he replied to Logan, trying to pretend he wasn’t entirely someplace else, but completely failing. “What, huh?” Virgil said, cursing himself for how out of it and confused he sounded. “What’s going on?”

‘Idiot’ his mind told him. ‘Can’t even pull yourself together long enough to ease Logan’s concern. Useless. Weak.’

Virgil tried to ignore these thoughts as Logan spoke. He didn’t catch the first part, but he did hear Logan say, “Could you perhaps recite the planets in our solar system?”

Virgil forced his brain to quiet for a moment as he struggled to form a response. “Oh, uh… yeah sure,” He paused as his thoughts got the better of him.

‘Burden.’ His thoughts accused. ‘You are a burden on those around you’

Attempting to ignore the thought, he forced himself to run through the solar system in his mind, forcing his thoughts quiet for a moment as he refocused. “Mercury, Venus, Earth…” Virgil heard his voice fade as another thought made itself heard.

‘You are weak. You can’t even complete one simple request’

Determined to prove his thoughts wrong, he shook his head, trying to force the thoughts out, and forced himself to finish reciting the rest of the solar system. “Um, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, um… Uranus and Neptune.”

“Well done Virgil,” he heard Logan say. He glanced at Logan’s face to see an encouraging smile.

‘It’s fake, he doesn’t actually care for you,’ his thoughts said, but beginning to be less controlling as he tried to focus on Logan’s face. Logan’s face was real, it was here. His thoughts were just noises in his head, noises that could be stopped or ignored. 

Suddenly, Virgil felt Logan grab his hand in both of his and felt a jolt go through him. All thoughts went silent for a moment as he registered what was happening. Tall, handsome, smart, caring Logan was grabbing his hand, trying to help him. This wasn’t just physical attraction, Virgil really liked Logan.

‘As if you could ever deserve anyone as good as him’ his thoughts hissed and he flinched slightly. 

“Could you possibly do that once again with as many constellations as you can think of?” Virgil’s thoughts were cut off by Logan’s voice once more. Virgil focused on the pressure on his hand as he forced his brain to process the request. He loved astronomy, this was something he could do.

“Okay, yeah,” Virgil heard himself say, ignoring the voices telling him he couldn’t do it, telling him he was weak and useless. He focused instead on the present. His hand in Logan’s, and the request Logan had given him. “Um.. Aries, Cancer, Casiopia, Aquarius, Hercules, Draco, Libra, Perceus, Phoenix…” Virgil started, before trailing off once more as his thoughts invaded.

‘Shut up, he doesn’t want to listen to you’

Virgil grit his teeth and forced himself to breathe, before continuing to list constellations despite his thoughts's objections, finding himself able to ignore the thoughts more and more with each constellation he named. “Virgo, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, Pisces, and um, I don't know, Leo, Hydrus, Gemini and Tarus.” Virgil took a deep breath of air, filling his lungs fully, before glancing up at Logan. “Is that enough?” He asked, sounding small and weak even to himself, but ignoring the thoughts that berated him for it, instead focusing on the pressure of Logan’s hands. The Logan that wanted to help him. The Logan that cared about him. The Logan that he cared about, more than he had originally thought apparently.

“That is plenty,” Logan assured him. “Are you alright?”

Virgil knew he was too quick to reply and knew Logan wouldn’t believe him as he said, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Virgil hesitated before adding, “Sorry about that. I should be better at dealing with these things after all these years.”

“Stop that.” Logan squeezed Virgil’s hand and Virgil focused on the comfort and safety of that feeling. “Would you allow me to apologize for my emotions?”

“Absolutely not.” Virgil replied automatically.

“Then you need not apologize for yours,” Logan said. Logan tried to pull his hands away, but Virgil held them back, needing to stay grounded, before realizing what he had done. Virgil glanced at him in embarrassment.

“Sorry,” He mumbled. “It just… the pressure helps me stay here and I… I can’t go back there right now.” He didn’t really want to talk about it, but he just needed Logan to understand. He needed to stay grounded.

“Of course.” Logan laid his other hand over Virgil’s again and Virgil relaxed slightly. “If I may ask, where is ‘there’?”

Virgil looked down at their hands. He really didn’t want to talk about it, and had no intention of doing so, but his mouth opened before he could stop himself.. “There… there is with the voice and the magic and-” He cut himself off suddenly and froze. He had said too much, Logan would find out and then he would hate Virgil and Virgil’s heart would be broken. Virgil looked up at Logan, forcing a smile as he said, “Y’know what, let’s not talk about ‘there’, okay?”

“Then let’s talk about something else,” Logan suggested, causing Virgil to sigh in relief. He hadn’t expected Logan to push, but that didn’t mean the worry wasn’ there. “You are interested in Harry Potter, correct?”

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Virgil said, allowing his smile to become brighter at the thought. “That book brings a lot of good memories for me.”

“I’ve only read the first book,” Logan said, surprising Virgil. “But it did seem enjoyable. That was approximately when my powers started to flare up and I had to focus more on my training so I didn’t get to finish the series.”

“Well you should,” Virgil said earnestly. “It’s really good, and it’s a nice escape, y’know?”

“No I’m afraid I don’t,” Logan frowned, looking confused. “Isn’t it a book? Normally escapes happen through windows or doors. Though I did once read in one of my father’s tomes about a book that acted as a portal…”

“No, that’s not what I mean.” Virgil sighed as he tried to find the words to explain. He may have hesitated slightly longer than necessary because Logan was so cute when he was confused, but Virgil would never admit to it. “It’s like... a mental escape. Like, when I started spiraling, my parents would read it to me and… and it would help. It gave me a place for my mind to escape to. It still does.”

“I suppose that would make more sense,” Logan rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, allowing Virgil to keep the other hand. Virgil grinned a little at the sheepish look on Logan’s face. So. Cute. 

“Oh my god,” Dee groaned from the driver's seat. Virgil flinched slightly, having nearly forgotten he was there. “Is it too late to go in Patton’s car? Your gay asses are driving me insane.”

“What, no, what are you talking about!? I’m not… we’re not… gah!” Virgil set his head on their joined hands, hiding his face in embarrassment. Virgil had just realized his feelings about Logan, did Dee really have to call him out on it now!? Was he that obvious? 

“Uh-huh sure,” Dee scoffed. Virgil heard Logan groan, and immediately felt bad, blaming himself for putting Logan in this awkward situation. “Look can you at least keep it down? If I have to put up with your bullshit until we get to Iowa then I’m gonna drive this care off a cliff.”

“That’s not logical at all,” Logan said, and Virgil tried to suppress a giggle. “You’ll be fine, Dee, won’t you?”

“Yeah whatever,” Dee sighed.

Virgil kept his head down in Logan’s lap, trying to pretend the conversation around him was not happening. He was surprised, but pleasantly so, when Logan began to run his free hand through Virgil’s hair. Virgil relaxed further, ignoring it when Dee spoke again.

“I guess you guys are actually kind of cute,” Dee muttered. “But keep that shit to yourselves.”

“You do understand that we are not dating, correct?” Logan replied. It was true, but Logan really didn’t have to point it out. Virgil was perfectly happy pretending that they were in fact dating. He had always known he was poly, but he had never felt quite this way about anyone other than Roman.

“You could’ve had me fooled.” Dee said.

After that, Virgil felt Logan’s hand move to his arm, where he traced patterns gently with his fingers. Virgil found himself growing more and more relaxed as he laid there. He never felt this comfortable around anyone other than his parents and Roman, yet here he was. Virgil sighed contently as he felt sleep take him away, knowing that here, with Logan, he was safe.

Yet still, the dreams of strange parents and an unknown childhood came, forcing Virgil again into a past he didn’t have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's super late and Copper had to go to bed so you get me. Sorry XD  
> But this chapter is actually edited so....have fun! -Salem  
> Trigger warnings: Mentions of injuries, panic attack, self-deprecation

Virgil was woken up a few hours later by Logan gently shaking him. He opened his eyes to see they were in a parking lot outside of a hotel. They must have made it to Iowa. Virgil groaned and stretched as he watched Logan get out of the car. As he followed Logan with his eyes, his gaze fell on another person: Roman. He was going to have to talk to Roman.

Roman knew Virgil was poly, it wasn’t exactly a secret, and he had always been accepting of the idea of it, but Virgil had never actually had a crush intense enough that he wanted to act on it since dating Roman. He wasn’t sure Roman would feel the same way when the hypothetical became a reality. 

Resigning himself to potential heartbreak, Virgil dragged himself out of the car and walked over to Roman, who was standing slightly to the side while the others discussed the timing and exact location of the next meeting. Virgil figured this was the best moment he’d get, considering it was the middle of the apocalypse, so he tapped Romans arm, getting his attention.

“Hey, Roman, can I talk with you real quick?” Virgil asked anxiously. Roman must have picked up on Virgil’s anxiety because his eyes were full of concern when he replied.

“Of course, my love,” Roman nodded. “What is it?”

Virgil guided them slightly farther from the group before replying, not wanting to be overheard, and wanting an easy escape in case things didn’t go as he hoped. “So, I kinda realized something on the drive over here,” Virgil started, rocking on his heels and fiddling with his hoodie sleeves anxiously. “It’s something we’ve talked about before but… well, it’s actually happening now.”

“Okay now you’re starting to worry me,” Roman said slowly. “Which is quite surprising compared all of, well, everything. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” Virgil hurried to say, not wanting to freak Roman out. He knew he was probably making a bigger deal out of this than necessary, but he was just so scared of losing Roman. “I’m just nervous, cause like, I know you’ve said you’re okay with this in the past but I’m worried that will change now that it is actually happening, which would be totally understandable, I just…” Virgil sighed. “Okay, I’m just gonna say it before I freak you out anymore. I like Logan. Like,  _ really _ like Logan. And I understand if you aren’t okay with that I know it’s weird but it doesn’t change how I feel about you and-”

Suddenly, Virgil stopped talking as Roman’s lips met his. He relaxed into their warmth as he rose onto his toes to kiss back. Roman’s hand gently slipped around Virgil’s waist as he held him there until they were forced to break apart for air. Virgil looked into Roman’s eyes and saw the smile in them, and found himself able to relax as he smiled as well.

“Virgil,” Roman said, his smile brighter than the sun. “When I tell you I love you I don’t just mean a couple parts of you that I pick and choose. I mean every part of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly. But this isn’t ugly. It just means you have so much love to go around and I think you’re an even better person for it. I would never try to force you to be someone you’re not.”

It wasn’t until after Roman finished speaking that Virgil noticed the tears on his cheeks. He looked up at Roman, knowing how much he loved him, and finally, after so long, feeling ready to say it. “I love you too,” Virgil said sincerely, looking right into Roman’s eyes as he said it. “Every single part.”

For a moment Roman seemed completely frozen and Virgil was worried he had said something wrong until his grin widened impossibly farther and he laughed in pure delight.

“Holy shit,” He whispered, voice slowly increasing in volume. “Holy shit!”

Roman began to kiss every inch of Virgil’s face he could get to, making Virgil laugh as well. Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman and placed his head against Roman’s chest as Roman laughed again. Virgil listened to Roman’s steady heartbeat as they stood there, both trying to catch their breath. Finally, Roman spoke again.

“I always knew you loved me,” Roman told him. “You always showed it, but I was starting to worry that...that I’d never get to hear it.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Virgil mumbled against his chest. “I’m sorry about that. I just… admitting something like that is really hard for me. It makes me feel really vulnerable, and for me, I have trouble seeing the good it will do, and instead think about the possible harm. So, basically, this means you're stuck with me, cause this is as vulnerable as I get, and if you break my heart now I’ll be broken beyond repair.”

“I’ll be here for as long as you’ll have me,” Roman promised before his grin became a smirk. “Now about you and Logan…”

“Gahhhhh,” Virgil groaned, hiding his red face against Roman’s shirt. “Don’t you  _ dare _ try to play matchmaker!” Virgil said, not looking up to see Roman’s face but knowing he was smirking mischievously. 

“Hun you know better than to try and stop me,” Roman teased.

“We are literally in the middle of the apocalypse, and you’re worried about setting your boyfriend up with another guy,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes. “Of course.” They were quiet for a moment before Virgil looked up at Roman shyly. “You really think I have a chance with him?” Virgil asked quietly, needing to hear someone say it.

“I think you have a much higher chance than you think,” Roman winked, whatever that meant.

Virgil tried to bite back the self-deprecating remark, he really did, but it just slipped out. “Yeah, well, I think I have no chance with him, so that’s not saying much.” Virgil internally cursed himself as he watched Roman’s face turn from teasing to serious once more. God, why couldn’t he just keep these thoughts to himself? He was such an idiot.

“Hey.” Roman’s hand cupped the side of his face before Virgil could even attempt to look away. “You trust me, right? Considering that’s kinda part of the whole love thing.”

“Yeah,” Virgil said, looking up at Roman as he leaned into the warmth of the hand on the side of his face.

“Then trust me on this.”

“Okay,” Virgil said, nodding slightly. Roman was one of the three people in the world he trusted with all of his heart, and Virgil wasn’t going to let his anxiety get in the way of that. “Speaking of Logan, we should probably get back to the others.”

“Oh real quick,” Roman stopped him. “Logan told me you were dissociating in the car. I know that happens sometimes, but usually it’s panic attacks for you. I can count the times that’s happened with me on one hand. Is everything okay?”

“Oh, um... yeah, everything’s fine I guess,” Virgil looked at the ground as he spoke, unable to meet Roman’s eyes for fear that he would see the truth. “Just a lot going on.”

“I won’t make you tell me but I also know that that’s a lie,” Roman sighed. “Look just promise me that if it gets too bad you’ll talk to me, or someone at least, okay?”

“Okay,” Virgil said with a small nod. He wished he knew he could keep that promise. “Okay, let’s get back to the others now.”

“Are you two done back there yet?” They heard Dee call. “We’ve kinda got shit to do!”

Virgil smirked and grabbed Roman’s hand, leading him back to the others. He felt bad for not telling Roman what was going on, but he knew it was for the best. If anyone knew about the true evil of his powers, and himself, they would never forgive him. Once they reached the group, they filled them in on the situation. Logan and Dee were going to meet Remus in a few hours at a cafe nearby to get more information. They’d spend the night in the hotel but try to move again tomorrow, as clearly the cult had more than enough resources to keep up with them, so they couldn’t be found. Until then, they had a few hours to settle in and process.

Virgil wasn’t so sure he liked the idea of free time, as he was scared of dissociating again, but he didn’t really have a better idea so he grabbed his bag and followed the others to an empty room, flopping down on the bed with a sigh.

The others went to grab the rest of the stuff, but Logan stayed, which made Virgil nervous after his realization in the car, but he also appreciated Logan’s presence, as the tugging sensation was just bad as before, he just knew the cause now and didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Logan sat on the bed next to him, surprising him when he spoke.

“Virgil I had a thought in the car,” Logan said. 

Virgil’s eyes widened in shock as his brain went into overdrive. Had he said something and not realized? Had he really been that obvious? 

“I recalled what Remus said about your ability to cast spells,” Logan continued. Virgil sighed, relieved. He knew Roman had said he had a good chance with Logan, but he was not ready to put that to the test. “When my parents were beginning to search for an explanation for my abilities, it didn’t take them long to discover their magical source, however, they didn’t stop there. They decided that understanding the basis of my abilities would help me control them, so I studied magic for years. If you’d like, I could teach you the essentials.”

So, yeah, maybe Virgil was relieved that Logan hadn’t discovered his crush, but he wasn’t exactly happy about where this conversation was going. He really didn’t want to let his powers control him any more than they had to. “I don’t know… my powers are inconvenient enough as it is, I really don’t want to spend any more time thinking about them than I have to.”

“Abilities,” Logan said with a tone like he was correcting him. Virgil glanced at him, confused. He didn’t know why Logan was using that word all the time, he just assumed Logan liked to show off his advanced vocabulary or whatever, but if that was the case, why would he be correcting Virgil? It wasn’t like it made a difference what word they used. “I’ve always thought of them as abilities. There are slightly different connotations. Powers are something separate from you. Abilities are  _ yours _ . They are nothing more than a skill set that you are in complete control over.”

Virgil looked at Logan as he spoke, surprised. He suddenly felt bad for making assumptions and realized Logan was right. If they were  _ abilities _ , as Logan said they were, then he was in complete control, and  _ he _ could choose what they did and how he used them, instead of the other way around. “That… that makes sense I guess. Maybe… maybe we could give it a try?”

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Logan nodded. “Would you like to try now, before the meeting?”

“Uhh…” Virgil hesitated. He didn’t really want to try at all, but he needed to. He needed to prove he was in control, and if he didn’t do that now he didn’t know if he ever would. He took a deep breath. “Yeah, okay, why not.”

“We should probably move this outside,” Logan suggested. “Both in case something goes wrong and so it is easier to connect with the natural energy.”

“The fucking what!?” Virgil asked, before shaking his head. “You know what, fuck it, sure, let's go.” Virgil got up off the bed and followed Logan downstairs, trying not to be obvious with how close he was staying to Logan as he was hoping they would forget about his ‘tether’ to Logan and Dee. He didn’t want to be a bother. Once they were outside they went to a small grassy area by the hotel and Logan stopped and turned to Virgil as Virgil almost bumped into him and stumbled.

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled, taking a small step back.

Logan’s arm dropped and he cleared his throat. Virgil narrowed his eyes. Had Logan been attempting to catch him? Before he could wonder any further, Logan was speaking and wandering the area.

“Magic is within everything,” Logan explained. “It is an energy that acts almost as a second skin to the material world. However, we can connect to the things in which it has the strongest presence: the elements. More advanced spellcasters can do weaker spells on a whim with only a symbol or two, but for beginners and complex spells, it is much easier to use a spell circle. Are you following so far?”

Virgil stated at Logan for a moment, his mouth slightly ajar, before realizing he was expected to respond. “Oh, uh, yeah, I think so? What is a spell circle though? And, what do I need to do to, I dunno, cast one I guess?” Virgil had so many questions, but he decided to stick with those, as that was what he would likely need to know to try anything.

“Spell circles are sort of like a precaution against spells going wrong or at least having disastrous consequences when they do,” Logan said nonchalantly as he stooped to pick a stone up off the ground and turn it over in his hand. Virgil couldn’t believe he was acting so calm about this. He was teaching Virgil, a disaster  _ magnet _ , to do something that may have ‘disastrous consequences’. Virgil felt himself beginning to freak out as he listened to Logan continue, trying to focus on keeping his breathing steady. “It also makes it easier to connect to the energies you need to manipulate and fuel your spells. More advanced ones require various sigils and runes but we don’t need to worry about that for now. For now, we are going to use physical symbols of the four elements and place them at the cardinal directions.”

“Physical symbols like that rock?” Virgil said, trying to focus on what he understood. The idea of advanced spells and sigils and runes was just too much for him to process right now.

“Yes.” Logan nodded. “This would represent earth, so we just need something to represent fire, air, and water. Thankfully we do not need to start an actual fire, as symbols are quite adaptable. For instance, a piece of wood could be used for fire.”

“Okay…” Virgil said hesitantly, wandering over to pick up a stick. “So would this work?”

“I believe so,” Logan smiled. “All that remains now is water and air. Air is the most versatile in terms of symbols. My mother once cast a spell using a spoon for air.”

“I saw some snow by the parking lot that hasn’t melted yet,” Virgil said, sounding unsure even to himself. “Would that maybe work for water?”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t,” Logan shrugged, though he had a proud glint in his eyes. “Would you like to gather some while I continue to search for an air symbol?”

“Sure!” Virgil said, excited to be understanding something. It was a lot of information and he was extremely overwhelmed yet somehow it just made sense to him. Almost as if it was something he had learned and forgotten, but just needed something to jog his memory. He quickly gathered a handful of snow from beside the parking lot, trying to get the cleanest he could find. He didn’t know how much, so he just grabbed a large handful before heading back to the clearing to find Logan holding Roman’s katana.

“What’s that for?” Virgil asked, confused.

“Air,” Logan stated simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I mean, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Virgil said, shrugging. “If a spoon works, then why not use a fucking sword? Now, please tell me where to put this snow, my hands are freezing.”

“Put it on the west,” Logan ordered.

Virgil quickly set the snow on the ground to the west of where Logan was standing, before straightening back up. “Now what?”

“We place the other symbols.” Logan placed the rock to the north and the sword to the east. Virgil realized he was probably supposed to put the stick at the final direction, south. Once he did that, he turned back to Logan expectantly.

“As you are the one casting the spell you need to stand in the center of the circle,” Logan said, gesturing to his previous position. Virgil looked at him fearfully, and at Logan’s reassuring smile he stepped into the circle, then waited for more instructions. “This is where it begins to become more personal. Even incantations are optional. For some it helps them direct the spell, some don’t use them at all. Even the ritual from here on out is different. So, Virgil, do you think you would like to use an incantation?”

Virgil rocked on his heels. An incantation? Like what? He stood in silence for a moment, listening to the wind, before speaking. “I, um, I don’t know,” Virgil admitted shamefully. “I think maybe? But I don’t know.”

“You could try one and decide from there if you like it or not,” Logan suggested. Virgil nodded, glancing up at Logan gratefully. Sure, this may all feel familiar, but that didn’t mean Virgil had any fucking clue what he was doing. It was like when he had to retake his math class over the summer one year. He recognized that everything he was being taught was something he had learned before, but he still had no clue how to do it.

“My parents would always call upon each element at a time,” Logan said. “My father didn’t use incantations, but my mother would say, for water for example: ‘Element of water, I call upon you to assist me as I work’. You can change the incantation to better fit you if you wish.”

Virgil nodded. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to face west, as that was the example Logan had used. He looked at the small pile of snow, willing it to, well, he didn’t know, just to do something. He sighed as nothing happened and rocked on his heels, beginning the incantation. “Element of water, I call upon you-” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “No, that’s not right. This feels weird. I need, just give me a second.”

“Could I perhaps make a suggestion?” Logan spoke up. Virgil nodded, desperate for anything that may help. “Use your abilities. Your abilities, your tether, connects you to sources of magic. I am not the only one here, so if you concentrate you should be able to find smaller tethers connecting you to your symbols. Find those and then reverse them, draw the magic to you instead of you following it.”

Virgil nodded again. He channeled all of his focus into the elements around him, forcing himself to ignore the painful pull toward Logan, and instead focus on the energy Logan described within the elements. At first, he felt nothing, and he was about ready to give up when he felt a small tug toward the south, fire. He turned to face it quickly in surprise, then glanced at Logan. “Is it okay if I start here?” He asked.

“Of course,” Logan answered.

“Okay, good,” Virgil said. He took a deep breath, before trying the incantation again, focusing on reversing his tether. “Element of fire,  _ I _ call upon  _ you, _ ” Virgil emphasized the words in his effort to pull the elements to him, instead of the other way around. Suddenly, he felt a confidence come into him that he had not felt before, and something just clicked in his brain, and he knew what  _ he _ needed to say. He began his incantation again, with much more confidence than before. “Element of fire, I command you to help me work.” Virgil turned clockwise to the west, repeating his words for the next element. “Element of water, I command you to help me work.” He continued like this until the circle was complete. He smiled as he felt the magic energy around him, his pull to Logan barely present from within the circle. He glanced around him and noticed a softly glowing purple circle connecting the elements around him. He looked up at Logan with a small smile, shocked at how beautiful the taller boy looked in the faint purple glow. The glow softened the sharp darkness of his hair and reflected off his proud, gray eyes. Virgil swallowed hard before finding his voice. “I... I think I did it.”

“You definitely did,” Logan said. Okay he definitely was proud now, maybe even excited. Virgil’s smile grew. “Do you think you are ready to try a spell?”

“Yeah I… I would like that,” Virgil said, trying to hide his excitement. The way he had sensed magic since he had found his powers had all been so intense, but this was different. It was soft and warm and comforting. It was his magic, he could control it, and he loved it. 

“What kind of spell would you like to attempt?” Logan asked.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know,” Virgil said. He thought back to seeing Logan’s eyes glow when he used his magic, and how beautiful it was. “Maybe like, a light spell? I don’t really know if that’s a thing.”

“Perhaps try using something simpler than a full incantation,” Logan said, almost like he was thinking aloud. “Maybe something like a trigger word? Although you may need more than that. Perhaps some sort of motion?”

“Okay…?” Virgil said questioningly. “I don’t really know what kind of motion or word though... Could you show me? You know all this stuff, you can probably cast a spell as simple as this without a spell circle, right?”

“Not if you want our friends to live,” Logan muttered just loud enough for Virgil to hear. “I cannot even cast a spell circle without it going horribly wrong. Another aspect of magic is balance; no one being can have too much power. So as I already have my abilities…”

“Oh, sorry,” Virgil said, feeling bad for having pointed it out. “I can figure it out myself.” He said, with more confidence than he actually had. He closed his eyes for a moment, visualizing what he wanted the spell to do. He decided he wanted to create a ball of light in his hand. He visualized it as the same shade of purple as the circle of light around him. He opened his eyes, the vision fresh in his mind. 

He held his hands together, one on top of the other. He focused on the energies around him. He took the top hand and lifted it from the other, simply saying “light.”

Suddenly, there was a beautiful ball of purple light glowing between his hands. He barely had time to register that he had done it when his surroundings changed without warning, and he was no longer in the clearing with Logan, he was back with the parent’s he didn’t recognize. The ones from his dreams.

“Ang, wait!” He heard the woman scream as he dropped a purple ball and turned to follow it as it rolled into the street. He felt a hand on his arm, stopping him before he stepped into the street, just before a car drove by. “Oh, thank god.” the woman said, folding Virgil into her arms.

“Mommy, I want to play catch some more!” Virgil heard himself whine, pulling out of her arms. 

“Okay, okay!” the woman laughed as she let him go, quickly looking both ways before crossing the street to retrieve the stray ball. He tossed it over to Virgil, who caught it with a laugh then ran into the yard.

“Come and get me!” Virgil yelled, running away from the woman, and right into the man that was supposedly his father.

“I’ve got ya!” The man yelled, grabbing Virgil and picking him up, tickling him mercilessly. Virgil was laughing at first before gasping in panic as the man didn’t let him go.

“Dad… daddy, please… please stop.” he gasped desperately. His dad sat him down quickly, looking at him with concern.

“Ang, you okay bud?” the man asked. Virgil nodded as he tried to catch his breath. “I’m sorry I freaked you out buddy, you need me to talk you through your breathing exercise?” Virgil nodded once more, the purple ball rolling out of his hand as the man began to speak, but Virgil didn’t hear him as the images around him faded, and soon he was back in his spell circle, on the ground, with a purple light cradled close to his chest as he gasped for air.

“Virgil!” Logan was yelling. “Virgil, you have to breathe! Do you want me to walk you through a breathing exercise?”

Virgil rocked himself slowly, trying to focus on how the ground felt on his feet. He tried to shake the man’s voice in his head, asking to talk him through a breathing exercise as well. This was Logan, he knew Logan. Virgil gave a quick, short nod as he continued to rock and shake.

“Then I need you to breathe in for four seconds,” Logan said. “I’ll count for you, alright? Ready one, two, three, four.”

Virgil breathed in as Logan counted, focusing as much as he could on Logan’s voice. His breath was shaky as he continued to follow Logan’s instructions with difficulty.

“Now hold your breath for seven seconds,” Logan continued. “Ready one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.”

Virgil held his breath, shaking, until after what felt like an eternity, Logan got to seven and moved on to the next step of the exercise.

“Now breathe out for eight seconds,” Logan spoke one more time. “Ready, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.”

When Logan finished, Virgil was definitely breathing better, although, judging by how light-headed he was, he had been on the ground hyperventilating for longer than he thought. Virgil slowly pushed himself to his feet, allowing the ball of light to disappear from his hand. He tried to keep his voice steady but entirely failed as he said, “I need to get out. How do I get out?”

“You have to dispel the circle,” Logan explained. “It’s simple to do, do you remember the way you cast it?”

“Yeah,” Virgil said anxiously, wishing Logan would just hurry up with the explanation so he could leave this damn clearing behind.

“Do the same thing but in reverse,” Logan instructed. “Reverse the order and say you release the elements instead of commanding them.”

Virgil nodded and turned toward the east, where he had stopped last time. He wanted to tell the elements to get the hell away from him, but knew it wouldn’t work. “Element of air, I release you from your work,” Virgil said quietly, before turning to earth, then water, then fire. Once he had completed the last incantation, the circle disappeared and he lowered himself to the ground shakily, trying to compose himself. He didn’t know what the hell had happened, but it was clear that these weird ‘dreams’ were a lot more than just dreams. As soon as the circle had disappeared Logan had apparently run forward and now he was kneeling in front of Virgil grasping his shoulders.

“Virgil are you alright?” Logan asked, sounding nearly as breathless as Virgil. “Are you hurt?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Virgil assured him a little too quickly. “I’m sorry for freaking you out.”

“Do not apologize,” Logan responded immediately, his eyes roaming all over Virgil’s body as if checking for injuries. Finally, he looked into Virgil’s eyes and his normally guarded grey eyes were filled with so much concern it took Virgil’s breath away for a second. “Holy shit Virgil, I-, I’ve seen spell circles  _ explode  _ when a spell goes wrong, and then you collapsed, I-”

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m okay, I promise,” Virgil said in as steady a voice as he could muster, which in reality was not very steady at all. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Are you  _ sure _ you’re alright?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Then what on earth happened?” One of Logan’s hands came up to dig the heel of his hand into his own forehead while the other fell to Virgil’s upper arm instead of his shoulder. “I’ve memorized the side effects of spell circles, so I just, I don’t understand why you would have collapsed despite being uninjured.”

Virgil sat in silence for a moment. He knew he should tell Logan the truth, but he didn’t even really know what the truth was. What was he gonna say, ‘oh, yeah, I’ve been having weird dreams about parents I don’t remember who call me Ang and they take place before I got amnesia’. Yeah, no way. He didn’t want to sound even crazier than he already seemed, and he didn’t want to worry Logan anymore.

“It just surprised me is all,” Virgil lied. 

“I’m not even going to ask about what the hell happened out here.” Virgil saw Dee approaching them from over Logan’s shoulder. “But that was definitely bullshit. God, I’m starting to wonder if I can literally sense lies, not just tell the difference between them and the truth.”

Shit. God fucking damn it. This was not good. Virgil saw Logan give Dee a look, before turning back to Virgil and speaking again.

“Virgil, tell me the truth,” Logan pleaded. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing, okay!” Virgil snapped, shocking both Logan and himself. He saw the guarded look return to Logan’s eyes and forced down his regret. He couldn’t tell anyone about this, he just couldn’t. He took a deep breath and the next words he spoke were calmer. “Look, please just forget about it, okay? You have to go to your meeting anyways, you don’t have time to deal with my bullshit.” Virgil stood up and glanced at Dee, quickly grabbing Roman’s sword before making his way back to the hotel entrance. “Good luck with Remus!” He called behind him, forcing himself to sound normal.

“Stop being an ass before you get back inside!” Dee yelled back. Virgil bit back the apology that tried to force its way out of his mouth as he quickened his pace. He got to the room the others were in and took a deep breath before opening the door, hoping he didn’t look as horrible as he felt.

When he walked in, he saw Roman and Patton sitting on the bed in front of the TV, arguing over what Disney movie to watch. They both looked up when they saw him come in, and Roman smiled at him, before seeing the look Virgil had been hoping to hide and looking at him in concern.

“Virge?” Roman asked. “You okay?”

Virgil looked back at him and forced a smile on his face as he flopped onto the bed between the two, laying his head in Roman’s lap, looking for comfort that he wasn’t willing to ask for. “Yeah, I’m all good! What are you guys up to?”

Roman clearly didn’t believe him, but let it drop as he told him about Patton and Roman’s movie disagreement. It took them a while, but with Virgil’s help, they finally agreed on Tangled. Patton put it in, and once the movie started playing he felt Roman’s hands begin to stroke his hair, and he sighed. This was what he needed, just to forget about what happened earlier, forget about the dreams and the powers, forget it all and just be with Roman and Patton, watching a Disney movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! We'll see you next Sunday! -Salem


	12. The Airport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, self-deprecation, guilt

Remus hadn’t expected it to be easy. He knew Roman would be angry, and he knew it would hurt, but he also had not expected Roman to charge at him with a katana the moment Remus came into the group’s sight.

He knew, logically, if he cared for his own life, he should run, back away, as Logan was clearly struggling to restrain his well-trained twin. Remus had made sure he got that training. He had made sure Roman would be able to protect himself. He had just never thought he would become the thing Roman thought he needed to protect himself from.

Remus prayed the others were too distracted by Roman to notice his teary eyes on his otherwise carefully blank face. He watched as the Erikson kid, Roman’s boyfriend, stumbled over to try and stop Roman, as Logan’s grip was clearly weakening.

He should run. He knew he should, but that would be a cowardly thing to do. Whatever Roman did to him, he deserved.

“Roman Aldrich Oberon!” Virgil yelled. At the sound of Roman’s full name, Remus snapped back to attention. Roman had told Virgil his middle name? God, he must really love him. Remus couldn’t imagine what would happen if Roman found out… He stopped that thought quickly, refocusing on the situation in front of him. “ _ I _ need you to stop. He might have answers about what is happening to me. Please, Roman.” Virgil was clearly begging now as he swayed where he stood. Remus had seen him hit his head in the alleyway and was honestly surprised he was even here. Honestly, he should probably be dead. “Please stop.” Virgil finished.

Remus looked back at his twin, whose eyes were filled with rage, rage aimed at him. He watched as Roman turned then went back to the others, catching Virgil then discussing what to do. Remus did not feel relieved. On the contrary, part of him wished Virgil hadn’t stopped Roman. He didn’t want to die, but honestly, after how he had hurt Roman, he deserved whatever Roman did to him.

After a few long moments, Remus saw a group of wobbling, injured teenagers walking toward him. Virgil was stumbling along, grabbing Logan’s arm for support. The Faith kid was walking fairly normally, though it was clear he was in pain. Remus tried to ignore these facts as he focused on what he was here for. He was here to help them, and he could not do that while feeling guilty over Roman and fretting over their injuries.

As they got closer and Remus got a good look at them, he was caught off guard by how strikingly handsome Logan Valley truly was. His straight black hair made his extremely defined jawline even harder to miss, while his hard, gray eyes clearly hid something behind them, something Remus found himself wanting to learn more about. When the three finally reached him, Remus forced himself to look away from Logan, afraid he would not be able to focus otherwise.

“Alright, we came,” The Faith kid stated before giving Remus a chance to speak. “We’re here. You said you have information. What is it?”

Remus looked at the three of them, examining them, trying to figure out who they were, trying to figure out if these were truly people he could trust his brother with. Finally, he sighed, accepting that no matter who they were, they could likely care for Roman better than he ever could, so it was time to get this over with. “There’s a lot of shit to cover, where do you want to start?”

“How about you start where you betrayed my boyfriend and your own twin brother,” Virgil muttered under his breath. Remus winced internally but kept his expression carefully blank as he waited for one of the other two to respond.

“The beginning is usually a good place,” Logan answered finally. Remus glanced at him quickly, before looking away once more so he could focus.

“Okay,” Remus took a deep breath, knowing they would not like the news he gave them “There's a cult named Fove, which worships a demon that harvests dreams for power.”

“I’m sorry what?” Dee exclaimed, though not as loud as Remus would have expected. He wondered why, before once again remembering Virgil’s injury. That was likely the culprit of the volume control. He would try to keep that in mind. “I’m sorry I just found out magic was real two days ago, now we’re throwing demons into the mix? Fine, whatever. So you’re telling me this cult no one knew existed managed to put the entire world to sleep at once?”

“Yes, they did manage to do that,” Remus sighed, exasperated. “They want to give more power to the demon for some fucking reason, so they put the entire world to sleep so the demon can harvest all the dreams and gain power.”

“So why are we awake?” Logan asked. This was the question Remus had been waiting for. This was how he could get them to trust him. Because Virgil wasn’t actually Virgil, he was the Erikson kid, and he knew things about his past that Virgil likely did not. He decided it was probably best not to jump into that too quickly, however, instead starting simple.

“I don’t fucking know,” Remus said. “I know why Roman is awake. And Logan, you’re likely awake due to your abilities. But I don’t know why the Faith’s are awake.”

Roman was awake because Remus had bargained for him to be awake. He had bargained for Roman’s life, and by doing this, he was risking that bargain. He was risking so much.

“How do we know we can believe you?” Virgil asked. He must not have noticed that Remus hadn’t mentioned him in the people who were awake. It looked like he was going to have to be more clear. “You could be making all of this up for all we know.”

“Because I know why you’re awake,” Remus said, turning to Virgil. “And I have proof.”

“How could you possibly prove something like that?” Dee rolled his eyes. 

“Indeed,” Logan nodded. 

“I can prove it because he’s awake for the same reason Logan is,” Remus shrugged, trying to remain nonchalant as he thought of this kid’s past, everything he didn’t know but would likely learn at some point. He had done this to Virgil, and by hurting Virgil all those years ago, he had unknowingly caused harm to Roman. “He has abilities. Basically, he can sense magic and communicate with demons and shit. They also make him better at spells.” Virgil stared at Remus in complete and utter terror and Remus felt sick. He hated this. He hated all of this.

“And we’re supposed to believe you just like that?” Dee said. “You said you had proof, so give it.”

Remus sighed, forcing himself to sound neutral as he explained what he knew. “Logan is an extremely powerful source of magic, I'm sure Virgil has likely been feeling drawn to him?” Remus asked with a small grin, trying to act as if he didn’t care about how much he was hurting Virgil.

“...yeah,” Virgil replied hesitantly. Remus cringed internally.

Virgil and Logan appeared to have a quiet conversation, and Remus momentarily let his facade drop, before Virgil turned back to him and he forced back on his smile.

“That feeling is your powers working. You can sense the magic within Logan.” Remus looked at Logan, wishing he didn’t have to be the one to tell them everything they needed but didn’t want to know. “Logan, could you do some power shit? That way Virgil can feel it.”

Remus watched as Logan hesitated, then marveled at the sight of Logan’s eyes glowing blue as a suitcase across the room slammed into a wall. Remus watched as Virgil stumbled into the Faith boy, seeming shocked and terrified. He looked back at Logan to see a similar expression on his face. God, he felt horrible. Why did he always have to be the bearer of unwanted news?

“That’s… that’s what it felt like in the alley.” Virgil said. Remus watched as Logan stepped back, seeming horrified despite having done nothing wrong. He just wanted to comfort the boy, but he couldn’t. He was trapped pretending to be a careless spy. But was he really pretending? Maybe not. Maybe if he cared more, he would have found a way to handle this without it going to horribly. It took a moment, but finally Remus watched as Virgil moved back toward Logan, both still looking extremely distressed.

“Okay,” Virgil said in a shaky voice. “So, you were right. Now tell us what else you know and get the hell away from me.”

“Other than that I don’t know a lot. The only other things I know are that you guys are the only people awake, so Fove wants to murder you.” Remus said, looking at the three of them sadly. He hated doing this to them, but it was the only way to help. “Basically, you guys need to stay on the run until I learn more. I hope to find a way to stop the demon and end this fucking apocalypse as soon as possible, but that probably won’t be easy to find, and I won’t be able to do it alone for sure, as I don’t have fucking superpowers and shit, so I’ll need your help. Although, you guys clearly don’t trust me much yet, so it’s up to you. If you want to meet again for more information, call this number on the phone I gave you.” 

Remus handed Dee a slip of paper that he had prepared before the meeting. “If not, I will understand, but I hope you choose to help me.” Finally, Remus allowed himself to look at Roman. He knew he shouldn’t say anything. He knew nothing would help. But he had to try, “Roman, remember what I said before I left. I love y-”

Virgil cut Remus off before he could finish.. “Don’t you dare say another word to him,” Virgil hissed, causing Remus to flinch, “You’ve done enough harm already.”

“Fine.” He said, “I hope to get a call from you soon.” Remus forced himself to turn around, ignoring the voices and upset he heard from behind him as he walked out. He wanted to help so so badly, but somehow the only help he could give also harmed them in the process. It took all the will Remus had left not to turn and look back as he sadly exited the airport, praying for a call.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Sorry for the lack of notes last time, I've been having phone problems so they didn't send when I told Salem what to say cause we have gotten into a bad habit of posting later than I am awake. Anyways, here is this chapter. A lot of shit goes down, you get more gay, and honestly Salem's chapter's got more this time but it's okay because I love this chapter so much and I hope you guys do too!!! Enjoy!!!  
> Trigger warnings: flashbacks, anxiety, self blame, amnesia, overwhelmed characters, fear, vomitting  
> As always please let me know if you think I missed anything!!!

Virgil woke up the next morning to his idiot boyfriend nudging him. God, he thought Roman knew better. He rolled over unhappily and saw the scene around him. Dee, Patton, Logan and Roman were all looking at him, seeming concerned. Shit. Virgil narrowed his eyes at them, knowing what was coming, and promptly hissed at them before rolling over and pretending to have fallen back to sleep.

“The fuck?” Dee said. “I thought he was all cute and shit when he was tired?” Virgil refused to admit he got cute when he was tired, even though he knew it was true.

“Yeah when he’s falling asleep,” Roman explained. “When he wakes up he’s a little monster.” Roman wasn’t wrong, but did he really have to call Virgil out like that?

“When did your boyfriend become a fucking cat?” Dee exclaimed.

“Have you met the guy?” Roman asked. “Moving on, I don’t wanna get mauled, so anyone else wanna try?”

Virgil felt the bed shift as Patton gently nudged him this time. “Hey kiddo,” Patton said gently, “You’ve gotta get up now, okay?”

Virgil squinted at Patton unhappily, but Patton was too sweet, he couldn’t hiss at him. Finally, Virgil sighed and reluctantly opened his eyes the rest of the way, rolling over to get a good view of the rest of the group. He eyed them suspiciously.

“Wha doya wan?” Vigil mumbled, praying it wasn’t what he thought it was.

“We desire to discuss yesterday’s events,” Logan told him. Virgil felt his eyes widen in panic. So it was what he had thought. And Dee was right there to call him out on his lies. Shit. He was probably gonna have to tell them. However that didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna put it off as long as possible.

“What about yesterday?” He asked innocently.

“Don’t play dumb,” Dee glared at him and Virgil shrank back slightly. “It’s unbecoming.”

“I-” Virgil started, brain frantically trying to think of an excuse that wasn’t a flat out lie. He failed miserably. “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh my God would you stop lying for two fucking seconds?!” Dee shouted suddenly. “You’d think you people would have figured out to not try and lie to me and yet here we are. So just tell us the truth, dumbass.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Virgil said, desperate for them to let this go, to understand. He couldn’t tell them, especially when he barely understood what was happening himself. He could deal with it on his own, he didn’t need to burden the group anymore, or risk sounding like a lunatic by telling them. 

“Virgil,” Logan sighed. “Normally I would not force you to speak of something you did not wish to, but this issue is concerning your health.”

“You’re kinda freaking me out here, Darkling,” Roman spoke up, reaching over to take Virgil’s hand. Virgil took it quickly and gave it a squeeze. He didn’t want to scare Roman, but he just couldn’t tell them.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said again. “I just… I promise I’m okay, okay? It’s not that big of deal and I can handle it.”

“Lie,” Dee deadpanned. “Try again.”

“Wha-” Virgil started, trying to appear confused, although to some extent he actually was. Maybe saying it wasn’t that big of a deal was a lie? Because he _could_ handle this, that wasn’t a lie, right? “No, I-”

Virgil was cut off by Patton, who finally spoke up. “Kiddo you’ve gotta stop lying. Just tell us what’s wrong, we can help.”

“No, no I don’t think you can,” Virgil admitted, looking down at the bed. He didn’t know what was happening, but he knew it was _his_ problem, and no one elses. They couldn’t help.

“You cannot know that until you tell us,” Logan said. Logan reached out and cupped Virgil’s face in his hand, tilting Virgil’s head so he was forced to meet Logan’s eyes. “So tell us. Virgil, what happened in the spell circle?”

“I… I don’t know,” Virgil sighed. God, he didn’t want to lie, why didn’t they understand? This was just something he couldn’t tell them. It was too much, and it wasn’t their problem. “I don’t know what happened, okay? Ever since I found out about my powers, hell, since I hit my head, some weird shit has been going on and I really just want to ignore it, okay? Just let me pretend it isn’t happening, please.” Virgil blinked hard against the tears forming in his eyes. He noticed Logan glance at Dee, who seemed satisfied that he was telling the truth. He just hoped they would leave it there. Of course, nothing ever went how Virgil wanted.

“Virgil I’m afraid I need you to elaborate,” Logan said, sounding sincerely apologetic. “Whatever is happening could be an actual issue or a symptom of one, and I cannot be sure until I have all the information. What exactly has been going on?”

“It’s…” Virgil looked at a loss for words. God, how to even explain. He sighed. He had to tell them, they weren’t going to let him get out of this conversation without the full truth. He resigned himself to being called insane, and getting kicked out of the group as he forces himself to try and explain. “I don’t know how to explain it. I’m sorry, I just… there are these people I don’t recognize and they call me Ang and… God, I sound fucking insane, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t sound insane, sweetheart,” Roman assured him. Yeah right. Roman was clearly just saying that to make him feel better.

“Quite the opposite actually,” Logan nodded. Virgil felt his hand move to cut his cheek and focused on that instead of the conversation that was happening. The warmth on his face was nice. He had almost managed to forget what was going on when Logan spoke again, forcing him back to the present. “Virgil, I believe you may be experiencing some sort of vision.”

“Maybe…” Virgil sighed. He wanted that to be true, but he wasn’t sure. Something about these ‘visions’ or whatever just really rubbed him the wrong way. “It just, it freaks me out so much. I feel like I should recognize what I’m seeing, but I don’t. And I… or, Ang, calls the strangers mom and dad but I don’t recognize them and I don’t remember them…” Virgil stopped talking and gripped Roman’s tighter.

“Perhaps because you have never met them before,” Logan theorized. Virgil looked at him in surprise. Could that really be true? He had just allowed himself to begin to hope when Logan spoke again. “The only other possibility is that you do know them and you just...don’t remember.” Virgil’s heart dropped. “If you don’t know them it could be magic itself attempting to send you some sort of message about this Ang.”

“Hi, remember me?” Dee spoke up. “How would he just not remember people? Apparently there’s enough that they should at least be familiar, right?”

“Yeah, sure, if I remembered the first twelve years of my life,” Virgil said quickly, trying to be joking about it, though it was something that haunted him every day. It was just… too serious to be taken seriously.

“You… you don’t remember the first twelve years of your life?” Patton said questioningly. “That’s horrible. How did that even happen?”

Virgil glanced over at Roman, a silent plea in his eyes. He couldn’t explain it, not again. He had only explained it twice in his life, and both of those times had been within the last week. He couldn’t do it again.

“It was a car accident,” Roman explained. “It gave him amnesia when he was twelve.”

Out of nowhere, Virgil felt new arms around him, as Patton had forced his way past Roman and Logan to tackle Virgil in a hug. Virgil allowed himself a small smile. Even in the worst situations, Patton could make everything feel better. “Oh kiddo I’m so sorry.” Patton whispered. Patton held him there for a moment and Virgil didn’t pull away, wanting to stay there forever, but eventually, Patton let go, and Virgil was forced to acknowledge what had been said.

“Yeah, well, it’s old news,” He said. He turned back to Logan, trying to hide the desperation in his eyes as he tried to explain away these ‘visions’. “Neither of those options make sense though. Me, or, Ang, is always only like 10 years old, why would I need to know anything about him making waffles on his birthday and shit. But if I did know them… well, I probably would have seen them again since I was twelve, right?” The others didn't reply, and Virgil looked frantically between them, suddenly horrified at the idea that… maybe he wasn’t right. Maybe he really should know these people and didn’t. “Right!?”

“Virgil,” Roman said gently. “Look, love, we don’t know anything yet. If there’s one thing I’ve learned these last few days...it’s that things aren’t always what they seem, especially when one of us is involved.”

Virgil nodded, trying to hide his panic, but from the looks on the other’s faces, he could tell he wasn’t doing a very good job. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. It probably doesn’t mean anything. I mean, in what kind of past would people call me Ang? I’ve never heard that name in my life!” Virgil realized he was laughing darkly to himself. God, what was wrong with him?

“It’s kind of an awful name,” Dee muttered under his breath. Virgil saw Logan shoot him a glare, but honestly, Virgil didn’t mind. He needed something to lighten the mood. He needed something to joke about, and if the name Ang was what they chose, that was fine by him. “What? It is!”

“Dee, you know better than anyone not to make fun of people’s names,” Patton scolded. 

"I more than anyone know what an awful name is,” Dee shot back. “Besides, it’s not like it’s Virgil’s name. I know I don’t know shit about all this magic stuff, but Logan said it’s some sort of vision thing, right? I mean sure, maybe it’s missing memories, but with a different name and parents? Seems unlikely to me. I say we work with the freaky vision theory.” Virgil was relieved to hear that, desperately begging for it to be true. He thought that would be the end of it but suddenly, Roman spoke.

“Well correct me if I’m wrong,” Roman hesitated, before continuing. “If it was magic, wouldn’t Virge be able to sense it?”

Shit. 

Roman was right.

“We don’t know that,” Dee scoffed. Virgil really appreciated Dee trying to help. He really wanted Dee to be right but… He wasn’t.

“He can literally sense magic!”

“And we don’t know for sure how any of this works!”

“Roman’s right.” Virgil cut in, trying to hide the shake in his voice. “The more I work with my po- _abilities_ the more I’m noticing. I can sense the magic in the sleeping people, the magic in the elements. I can sense my own magic when I cast spells. I can sense it _all_. I would… I think I would know if this were magic.”

“You do realize what the other explanation is, right?” Dee said, sounding harsh. Virgil watched as Dee ran a hand through his hair, seeming distressed, and nudged Logan out of the way to sit in front of Virgil. “Look I’m actually not trying to be an asshole for once. But the other option is that, well that you aren’t missing memories. Virgil, a different name, different parents...you’d be missing an entirely different life.”

He was right. That was exactly what it would mean. Except it wasn't a would anymore. Because that was exactly what all of this meant, and Virgil knew it.

“Yeah…” Virgil said slowly, “yeah, I would.” Virgil took a shaky breath as he felt his tears begin to fall, making no effort to stop them. “But, like you said, I’ve gotta stop lying, right? And that includes lying to myself. This isn’t magic. It’s… it’s-” a sob escaped Virgil’s throat, leaving Virgil unable to continue as the true meaning of all of this hit him. He had a whole different life he didn’t remember. Twelve years of growing up and developing who he was as a person with a different name and potentially different parents, stolen from him.

The dam burst as Virgil began to sob. Dee pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Virgil and rubbing slow circles on his back as Virgil cried.

“I may have a way to fix it,” Logan out of nowhere. 

Virgil raised his head and looked at him as he worked to calm himself down. He probably looked like a mess. He forced himself to speak, sounding weak even to himself. “How?”

“I can’t tell you yet,” Logan replied. “I need some time to prepare. I need you all to trust me in the meantime.”

“Of course we trust you kiddo,” Patton said. “Whatever it is you think you can do to help, I’m sure you will be able to figure out.”

“Yeah,” Virgil said. He sat up, no longer leaning on Dee as he wiped his cheeks. He didn’t know what Logan thought he could do to fix this, but he did trust him. And if it didn’t work, well... “I’ve lived four years without these memories. I don’t know how you could fix that, but even if you can’t I’ll be okay. If I made it four years then clearly I can live without them” Virgil sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.

“Thank you,” Logan nodded. Virgil noticed a small smile on his face before Logan abruptly changed the subject, freeing Virgil from the thoughts of his mind’s own betrayal as he spoke. “I suppose you three will be wondering what else we learned from Remus?”

Apparently Remus had heard rumors of a way to stop the curse, and apparently he had told them that Dee and Patton’s parents were in the cult. Vigil felt horrible for them, and made it his one and only mission the next couple weeks to make sure they got anything they wanted. For Patton, that meant letting him check Virgil’s injuries obsessively, before determining the stitches could be removed, which hurt like hell but Virgil didn’t complain, not wanting Patton to feel bad. For Dee, he seemed to be distracting himself the same way Virgil was in his attempts to obsessively care for the rest of them, so Virgil let him.

Roman continued trying to play matchmaker with him and Logan, but Virgil was too distracted most of the time to really think much of it. Although, when Logan had used his powers to throw Roman in the air (not too high) after he had locked them in a closet together for hours, Virgil had to laugh.

Logan also continued to teach Virgil magic, teaching him protection and warding spells that he used when they spent the night somewhere. Being able to use his magic for good helped ease the worries the Demon had instilled in him. So long as Virgil didn’t accidentally reach out to the magic within the sleeping people again, the Demon could not contact him, leaving Virgil with just his own self deprecating thoughts, and at least those he knew how to deal with.

What Virgil really hated throughout the three weeks of moving around though was how dependent on the others he had truly become. His flashbacks became more and more frequent, triggered by sudden sounds or movements that sent him into a world of memories he didn’t remember. Every time this happened, Virgil would collapse, leaving the others to catch him and make sure he was alright before he would come to once more. Virgil hated how weak it made him feel, and his anxiety began to spike with sounds and movements as Virgil began to try to anticipate flashbacks, though often he just panicked for no reason.

After the three weeks of being on the run, Logan had started going to meet with Remus every night, which was odd. Virgil could tell he was using his powers more, but he didn’t tell the others, as he knew Logan likely had his reasons for not sharing what was going on, and Virgil didn’t want to pry.

Logan had been going to these nightly meetings with Remus for about a week when one morning, once they were packed and ready to leave the Ikea they were staying in in a few hours, Logan grabbed Virgil and dragged him to the dining area, causing Virgil to tense in fear of a flashback, which now happened multiple times a day. Thankfully, one did not come.

“My apologies for the rather rough removal,” Logan apologized, quickly pulling back his hand, leaving Virgil’s wrist feeling cold. He missed Logan’s hand already. “I simply didn’t want to waste any time.”

“It’s okay,” Virgil said quickly. “What’s up?”

“Do you remember a month ago when we first began to understand what your flashbacks were?” Logan said. Virgil opened his mouth to answer but Logan kept talking before he had a chance. “During that conversation I told you I may have a way to restore your memories but I needed time.”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Virgil said. He had honestly been trying not to think about it. He hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up, especially since Logan hadn’t brought it up again since that day. “Yeah, I remember. But you never said anything else so I kinda figured you had forgotten about it, or given up.”

“Well let this be a lesson to not jump to conclusions,” Logan said. Virgil’s eyes widened. Was Logan about to say what Virgil thought he was going to say. “Because I found it. If you wish, I can restore your memories right now.”

“You… you… wait, what?” Virgil spluttered in shock. “You can actually do that? How?”

“My secondary ability,” Logan answered. Wait, Logan had a secondary ability. What the fuck!? “Telepathy. I can enter your mind to search for your memory center and unlock the memories you’re missing.”

“Shit. No wonder that damn tether is so strong,” Virgil said, completely in awe.

“So,” Logan began. “What would you like to do Virgil? Would you like your memories back?”

“I… God, I don’t know!” Virgil exclaimed. This was a huge life changing decision and Logan just thought he’d have an answer right now? God, he didn’t know what they’d find, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. But at the same time, it would stop the flashbacks, and answer all the questions Virgil had about his past. “This whole situation is so fucked up. What if I find something I don’t like? Maybe it’s just better not to know…”

“The decision is yours alone and you don’t even have to make it right now.” Logan reached out and grabbed Virgil’s hand, which he hadn’t realized had been shaking. “However I can tell you that whatever is locked inside your head will not matter to any of us. We don’t care who you were, or what your name was, only who you are now. You’re Virgil, and you’re our friend, no matter your past.”

Virgil didn’t know what the hell he was thinking. Hell, he wasn’t thinking. All he knew is that he cared for Logan and Logan had said just the right words and suddenly, Virgil couldn’t suppress the urge to kiss the taller boy right on the lips. He had trouble reaching, as Logan was a good 6 inches taller than him, but he managed. He felt the warmth of Logan’s lips against his and waited for Logan to lean down some and help him out but he didn’t. Suddenly Virgil realized what he was doing, and broke apart from Logan quickly in shame. What had he done? His and Logan’s relationship had been fine how it was and now Virgil had gone and fucked it up-

Virgil’s thoughts were cut off when he felt Logan’s lips come down to meet him. Virgil sighed contently, and threw his arms around Logan’s neck, rising back onto his toes to get a better angle. Logan… Logan had kissed him back. 

All too soon, they broke apart, and Virgil actually jumped as he heard a loud crash from all around them. He glanced around them and saw the last few items falling. He hadn’t even noticed Logan’s magic activating, but apparently it had. Virgil looked back at Logan as blue light faded from his eyes, then doubled over, laughing uncontrollably. He worked to catch his breath as he forced words out of his mouth, hoping Logan could understand him through his giggles.

“Do the fucking memory thing,” Virgil gasped, holding onto Logan’s arm for support as he continued to laugh. “Before I change my mind.”

“You may want to sit down, it could take me some time,” Logan said. Virgil glanced up at him just in time to see his eyes flash blue as he moved two chairs over to them. Virgil looked away, blush rising in his cheeks, as he thought about how fucking hot Logan looked when his eyes glowed. They both sat down, then Logan reached out his hand to Virgil.

“I need physical contact to anchor me to the real world,” Logan explained quickly. Virgil quickly took his hand in both of his, trying to steady the trembling that was going through them. As the exhilaration from this kiss faded, Virgil was faced with exactly what he had just decided to do. He was going to get back his memories, whether he liked what he found or now. “Virgil are you sure about this? You do not have to if you don’t want to.”

“I am absolutely not sure.” Virgil said honestly. “Let's do it anyways.”

“Before we do, after my mistakes at the spell circle, I wanted to be sure to warn you of the potential consequences ahead of time,” Logan said, taking a breath. Virgil almost stopped him, not wanting to know what could go wrong, but Logan was already speaking. “You need to be sure you trust me wholeheartedly with this. If I make even a small mistake then twelve years of memories won’t be the only things missing.”

Virgil nodded slowly, trying to process all the information. He was trying to get back twelve years of memories, memories he had lived fine without for the past four years, and by doing this he was risking losing more. This was a horrible idea. He was gonna do it anyways.

“Not exactly what I wanted to hear,” He admitted. “But I do trust you, so let's get this over with.”

Virgil watched as Logan’s eyes became the brightest blue he had ever seen them. He glanced down at their hands as he felt his face turn red again. If him and Logan were actually gonna be a thing, he had to get this reaction to Logan’s glowy eyes under control, or Logan would totally use it against him. He felt the energy of Logan’s abilities swell in his chest, powerful and strong, but not uncomfortably so.

“Here we go,” Logan said.

Virgil watched him for a few minutes, unsure as to what he would have expected. He had thought he would feel some sort of pesense in his mind but other than sensing the magic Virgil didn’t feel anything. He didn’t know how long it would take, so he just gripped Logan’s hand harder, making sure that wherever Logan was, he wouldn’t get stuck there.

It had been about 10 minutes and Virgil was starting to get concerned, when suddenly, Logan cried out, as if in pain. Virgil grasped Logan’s hands even tighter, quickly scanning over Logan’s body for injuries. There was nothing. Logan hadn’t even moved.

Virgil just about had himself convinced that he had imagined it when Logan cried out again, louder and more fearful this time. Virgil panicked as he tried to figure out what to do. He needed to get Logan out, right? Something was hurting Logan, something in his mind-

Virgil cut off his thought as a sudden realization hit him. Logan was getting hurt by something in Virgil’s mind. Logan was getting hurt by _Virgil_. 

Virgil tried to fight his rising panic as he took one of his hands from Logan’s, leaving the other as his anchor, and shook Logan’s shoulders. He had to be able to do something, right? Whatever was happening was happening inside of his own head, so he had to be able to stop it. He had to stop hurting Logan.

Out of nowhere, Logan screamed. A loud, horrible, pained noise tearing itself from Logan’s throat. Virgil cried out in surprise, before quickly going back to gripping Logan’s hand, tears streaming down his face.

What was he doing to Logan?

Virgil heard running footsteps and turned his head to see Patton, Roman and Dee running into the room.

“What’s going on kiddo, we heard a scream?” Patton asked, looking around frantically, seeming confused when no one seemed hurt.

Logan cried out again and Virgil turned back to look at him. He tried to feel around his mind, he tried to find Logan, but he had no clue what he was doing. He didn’t even know if that would work. 

Virgil heard Dee yell from behind him. “What the fuck is happening? What's wrong with Logan?!"

Virgil ignored him, his attention entirely focused on Logan. “Logan, come back please.” Virgil pleaded. “Please come back please. I don’t need the stupud memories. I need you. Please come back.” Virgil was sobbing as Logan didn’t react. How could he have let Logan do this? How could he have let Logan get hurt, because of him.

The silence that came after was worse than the screams. None of them knew what was happening, though Virgil knew the most and sputtered out an explanation while keeping his eyes on Logan. “He… he said he could get my memories. He… he said that it could hurt _me_. I don’t know why it’s hurting him. He’s in my mind I can't get him out I-” Virgil suddenly cut off, a memory hitting him full force.

“Shit.” Virgil said, before being pulled forcefully into his past.

At first, the memories sped by quickly, blurring together as he tried to process what was happening. He saw fuzzy images of the man and the woman from his flashbacks, the people he now recognized as his biological parents, as he toddled around the living room, giggling.

The moment passed as he quickly found himself in a high chair instead, images stiff fuzzy as people sang happy birthday. He wasn’t sure how old he was turning in the memory, but it must have been pretty young, because the moment people stopped singing Virgil dug his hands into the cake and put it in his mouth, getting icing and cake all over himself.

“Happy Birthday Angelo.” He heard his mom say, before the memory changed again.

The fuzzy memories continued to flash by, until Virgil appeared to be around 5 years old, when the memories began to clear. He found himself standing in front of a large building, his parents on either side of him, holding his hands. Virgil saw kids going into the building with parents, and parent’s leaving, their kids no longer with them. This was Virgil’s first day of school. 

“Mommy, Daddy, I don’t wanna go!” Virgil whined, dragging his feet as his parents pulled him toward the entrance. “Let me go hoooome!”

“Hey, buddy, it’s okay,” His dad said, kneeling down in front of him. “It’s only a few hours. You will get to make friends, and play. It will be fun.”

“You promise?” Virgil asked.

“I promise.” His dad confirmed, pulling Virgil into a tight hug. His dad stood back up and grabbed Virgil’s hand again, his mom on his other side as they walked into the school. They led him to his classroom and sat him down at his desk. All too soon, it was time for them to leave. 

“Do you have to leave?” Virgil asked.

“Yes, honey, we do.” His mom said sadly. “But it will be okay. If you need us you can always have the teacher call, okay? We won’t be far.”

Virgil nodded as he watched his parents leave the classroom, a bell ringing moments later. He felt his younger self panicking as the teacher went to the front of the class and started calling names. They reached him fairly quickly, which Virgil wasn’t used to. Normally, since his last name started with a T, he was toward the end of the list, but apparently his last name hadn’t always been Tempest.

“Angelo Erikson,” the teacher called. Virgil’s younger self raised his hand and the teacher smiled at him, before continuing down her list.

Angelo Erikson? His name was fucking Angelo Erikson? Maybe losing these memories wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

The memory ended, and Virgil was overwhelmed as more continued to fly past, growing clearer and clearer as Virgil grew older. He was caught off guard when, at 10 years old, Virgil, or Angelo, found himself standing in his old backyard, his parents watching him, concern all over their faces.

“Ang, honey, we are gonna teach you some things, okay? Some things you can use to protect yourself.” Virgil’s mom said carefully. “We need you to take this very seriously.”

Virgil nodded, and his mother sighed. “Okay. I’m going to teach you how to cast a spell circle, okay?”

Virgil nodded once more, his past self unable to speak as his mother instructed him, with his dad watching in fear and sadness. Virgil’s past self used the same incantations he had figured out with Logan, and the spell circle glowed beautifully purple, as it always did.

“Okay, honey.” Virgil’s mom said from outside the circle. “That was very good, and I know you are probably tired but we need to keep going, okay? This is important.”

Again, Virgil nodded, and was surprised when his dad finally stepped forward and spoke. “I am going to teach you some protection spells and warding spells, along with some defensive magic, okay buddy?”

“Okay,” Virgil’s past self said, finally finding his voice. “But… why?”

“Because,” Virgil’s dad sighed. “Because you aren’t safe, and we need you to be able to protect yourself.”

Virgil’s past self didn’t speak again as he was taught the spells, runes and sigils. He recognized a few as ones Logan had taught him, and wondered if he had caught onto them so quickly because these memories had been there all along. When his parents finally let him go to bed, it was near midnight, and as Virgil’s tired past self laid down, the memory changed once more.

This time he was twelve. Virgil knew this must be very close to where the memories he already had began. He was standing on the porch to an unfamiliar house, his parents on either side of him, tears on their faces. They knocked and the door opened, and Virgil was surprised to finally see people he recognized. These were the parents he had spent the last four years with. They looked back and forth between Vigil’s biological parents for a moment, before the woman Virgil had believed to be his mom spoke.

“Is it time?” She asked quietly, giving Virgil a sad look.

“Yes,” His biological mom sobbed from beside him. “Once he is settled, give him this.” She said, handing them a small vial. “It will erase all of his memories. Tell him you are his parents. He must never know of us.”

Virgil looked at his mom in confusion. “Mom, what are you talking about?” He asked. His mom just looked at him, then pulled away, grabbing his dad’s hand and pulling him away as well. “Mom, dad, where are you going?” Virgil yelled. “What’s going on?”

His biological parents just glanced back at him sadly, tears on their faces. “We love you, Ang. I know you won’t remember us, but we will remember you. We will never stop loving you.” Then, Virgil watched as his dad wrapped an arm around his mom’s waist and helped her into the car. He silently watched the car drive away, scared and confused, before feeling the hand of the person he had thought to be his mom grab his wrist. She gently guided him inside and helped sit him down on the bed. She left for a moment, before returning with a glass of water. Virgil watched as she poured the contents of the vial his parents had given her into the cup before handing it to him.

“Drink this honey. It will make you feel better.”

Virgil shook his head. He didn’t know this person, or at least, his past self didn’t know her, and she had just poured something into that drink. He couldn’t trust it.

“It’s okay, Virgil.” The woman said. His past self looked at her in confusion upon hearing the name. “Your parents asked me to give this to you. They wouldn’t give you anything unsafe, right?”

Virgil nodded and slowly drank from the glass. Once he had drained every last drop, the lady tucked him in under the covers. “Sleep tight, Virgil.” She whispered before leaving the room. Virgil’s past self fell into sleep quickly, and Virgil suddenly found himself back in the chair in the Ikea dining room section, Logan in front of him, his hand clasped in his.

Remembering the scream, Virgil began to panic. Was Logan okay? What had happened? Clearly he had succeeded but… well, Vigil wouldn’t think about that right now, so he instead focused on Logan, whose eyes suddenly opened and the blue glow faded. The moment Virgil saw Logan was okay, he realized how sick he felt, his breakfast churning in his stomach as his brain struggled to process what was happening. 

Virgil only had a moment to register Logan’s face before shooting to his feet and running to the nearest trash can, the contents of his stomach emptying themselves into the trash can. Virgil sank to the ground shakily, wanting to go check on Logan but lacking the necessary strength to get over there.

“Fuck.” Virgil muttered, feeling that it was not nearly a strong enough word to sum up the situation, but being unable to think of something else.

“Virgil are you alright?” Logan asked, his voice hoarse. Virgil looked up at him quickly, anger and fear bubbling to the surface.

“Hell I should be asking you that!” Virgil screamed. “What the hell happened!?”

“Did it not work?” Logan said, looking confused. “Were your memories not restored?”

“Oh, no, they were restored,” Virgil snapped. He swallowed hard, fighting the tears that were trying to force their way to the surface. “Not sure it was the best idea, but I have them now. But why the _hell_ were you screaming? What the fuck!?”

Logan was quiet at that, and Virgil realized that Logan probably didn’t know they had heard him. He looked at Patton, Roman and Dee, who all looked almost as horrified as he felt.

“I am so sorry,” Logan sighed. Virgil watched as he put his face in his hands in shame. “I wasn’t aware you would hear that, I’m so sorry for frightening all of you.”

“No, don’t be sorry, explain!” Virgil snapped. ‘Focus on Logan’ His brain was telling him. ‘don't think about what you’ve learned, focus on Logan.’ “You said the consequences could hurt _me_ , not you. I never would have agreed if I knew that would happen!”

“I can assure you I was also unaware,” Logan said. He did sound sorry, but Virgil still wasn’t about to let this go without an explanation. “I cannot say for sure what happened, but I have my suspicions.”

“If you don’t stop beating around the bush asshole I’m going to give you something to scream about,” Dee cut in. Virgil refused to look at the others, knowing he had been the cause of Logan’s pain, which in turn had caused them pain. Virgil just hoped whatever explanation Logan had would prove those thoughts wrong. Virgil wasn’t sure he could take it if Logan confirmed his fears, that he had caused this. “You scared the fucking shit out of us.”

“Virgil do you remember me explaining to you that minds have layers, each with a different purpose and level of protection?” Logan asked, turning to Virgil. Virgil nodded stiffly. “Memories are stored on the fifth level. I got through each gateway easily enough until I was in the fourth level and standing in front of the fifth doorway. That door had another kind of protection, beyond the locks.”

“What… what was this other protection?” Virgil asked quietly, begging him to say something, anything that would make it clear that Virgil hadn’t been the cause of Logan’s pain.

“I cannot say for certain,” Logan answered gently. “But I believe it to have been a metaphysical representation of your anxiety.”

Virgil just stared at him for a moment, his thoughts going out of control. It was his fault. His damn anxiety had caused Logan pain, just like it always did. Virgil couldn’t take this anymore. He jumped to his feet. “Great, so it’s my fault. Fuck this, I need some air.” 

“Virgil wait-” Logan stopped Virgil by grabbing his hand. Virgil looked at the ground, refusing to meet anyone's eyes as Logan explained. “Neither of us could have known. It wasn’t your fault. I could have just as easily pulled myself out at any time. _I_ am the one who decided to keep going. Do not blame yourself for my decisions. Even so, I am completely unharmed, as metaphysical injuries are not real. I’m fine, Virgil.”

“Great, fantastic,” Virgil said sarcastically as he pulled away from Logan. Logan was okay, this was good. Yet somehow, Virgil found himself feeling worse as the other events of Logan’s trip came to the forefront of his mind. His memories. “Oh, and by the way, apparently my name really isn’t Virgil.” Virgil forced himself to walk away, wishing he could move faster, but his legs were too shaky and him falling right now would help no one.

“Who gives a shit?” Dee asked suddenly. “My name isn’t really Dee, is it? But it doesn’t change who I am. I am not determined by a word written on a piece of paper seventeen years ago, and neither are you.”

“What about the first twelve years of my life?” Virgil snapped back, turning around quickly. He didn’t know where all this anger was coming from but it was there. He was angry at his biological parents for taking these memories away from him. He was angry at the parents he had lived with for four years, who had lied to him every day. He was angry at himself for letting Logan return his memories, and for putting Logan at risk. He was angry at Logan, for staying in his mind despite the danger. He was just so angry. “I feel like those probably determine a lot of who I am, don’t you?”

“Not really,” Roman cut in. “I didn’t fall in love with a twelve year old you. I fell in love with the version of you that laughed every time I pulled a funny face because my awful webcam made me look even more ridiculous, who answered the phone in the middle of the night after Remus got into that motorcycle crash. Did these new memories completely reshape you? Did they take away all of that?”

Virgil’s weak legs threatened to give out as Roman spoke, and he sank to the floor. Did they completely reshape him? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore “No?” Virgil said, though it came out as more of a question. Suddenly, he found what he had learned spilling out before he could stop himself. “I just didn’t expect… God, my own parents took my memory, did you know that, cause I didn’t. There was no car accident. That was a fucking lie. The people I thought were my parents for the last four years lied to me every single day. I don’t even know what is and what isn’t real anymore.” Virgil’s tears were falling faster as he remembered he was on the floor. He forced himself to his feet, trying to keep up with the tears as he frantically wiped his cheeks. He couldn’t fall apart now. He didn’t deserve to. Not after what he had done to Logan. 

“Oh, kiddo,” Patton sighed. Virgil tried to resist as Patton wrapped Virgil in his arms, but gave in quickly. A pained sob escaped his throat as he tried and failed to bite back the tears that continued to fall. His shoulders were shaking as he began to sob into Patton’s shoulder, unable to keep it in any longer. “It’s okay kiddo, just let it out. It will all be okay.”

Virgil felt a head rest on his as Roman’s arms joined Patton’s wrapping gently around his waist. Logan and Dee came not long after, and Virgil just let it out. He sobbed and sobbed and cried and even yelled as the others held him, just letting him feel it all.

After what felt like an eternity, Virgil’s tears started to slow, and he carefully extracted himself from the hug that he was in the middle of, walking over to sit back in the chair he had been in before, placing his face in his hands.

His head hurt as he tried to make sense of all of the new information swirling around it. Twelve years of memories threatened to overwhelm him as he forced himself to stay grounded, focusing on his feel on the floor. 

The others watched him in silence for a moment, likely not knowing what to do. That was reasonable. Vigil didn’t know what to do either. So, he decided to focus on the facts, like Logan had him do when he tried to calm Virgil down.

“My name was… or is? Whatever, my name was Angelo Erikson. My biological parent’s names were Bianca and Nico Erikson and they taught me protective magic, probably why I’ve been able to catch on so easily. They were in the cult. When I was twelve they erased my memories and gave me to the people I spent the last four years thinking were my parents.” Virgil paused, continuing to struggle through all the information in his mind, trying to narrow in on small facts he could process. “My mom was a horrible cook, but she still always tried to make waffles for my birthday. My dad read Harry Potter to me when I was 10. My mom would sing to me if I couldn’t sleep to calm me down. She was really tall.”

Virgil stopped, not looking at the others. The others remained silent as he continued to mentally shuffle through all the new information. Finally, Virgil stood up with a groan. “Damn it, twelve years of memories is a hell of a lot to process. I have a fucking headache.” He closed his eyes tight for a moment before opening them to see the other’s concerned gazes. He sighed. “I’m sorry guys, I’m just overwhelmed. I’m just… trying to make sense of it all I guess.”

“And that's okay,” Roman promised him. “I think we’ve all felt that way at least once since the Sleep.”

Virgil nodded and placed his head back into his hands. He really did have a headache, which he supposed did make sense, but really wasn’t something he needed right now. “Hey, Pat?” He asked, keeping his head in his hands.

“Yeah kiddo?” Patton asked.

“You think you could get me some of those pain meds?” Virgil asked. He never asked Patton for the pain meds, but right now he just needed one less thing to deal with.

“Of course kiddo. I’ll go get them right now.” Patton replied gently, before quickly making his way out to the car where the first aid kit was. Virgil sighed. His mind wandered as he remembered what Logan had fought, it had been a physical embodiment of his anxiety. Virgil knew this probably wasn’t the time to be thinking about this, but he needed some sort of distraction, and he was curious.

“Hey, Logan, you said you fought like, a physical embodiment of my, y’know,” Virgil said. He really hated saying the word, and he knew Logan would know what he meant.

“Yes I did,” Logan replied.

“What…” Virgil paused, feeling stupid. “You know what, never mind, it’s stupid. Forget I said anything.”

“Virgil it’s your mind,” Logan reminded him. “If you have questions please do not hesitate to ask.”

Virgil sighed, avoiding Logan's eyes. “What did it look like?” He asked quickly. “I know it’s a stupid question but I just… I don’t know, I was just wondering.”

“Well…” Logan trailed off as he seemed to consider his answer. “It was like a panther but different. It was almost sharper, harder, just enough that it just seemed...wrong. Not to mention it was huge. It’s claws and teeth were large even for its size and incredibly sharp as I’m sure you heard. It’s eyes were completely white and when you looked into them-” Logan stopped and visibly swallowed looking unnerved before he shook his head and continued. “When you looked into them you saw your worst fear.”

“Do I even want to know how you know that?” Roman asked quietly. Logan shook his head mutely. “Well, I’m sure that won’t come back up later.”

Virgil stood quietly for a moment before replying. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” Then he looked up at Logan, his anger bubbling to the surface once more. “All that, and you stayed!? You fought the damn thing!? Damn it Logan, I can’t even do that and it’s my fucking mind! What the hell were you thinking!?”

“I threw it out a window, actually,” Logan shrugged.

“You-” Virgil stuttered, completely in shock. “You fucking WHAT!?”

“Damn right you did.” Dee held up his hand and Logan sighed before obliging him and giving him a high-five. “Remind me to never piss you off. Well, never piss you off _again_ , I’m sure I already have like, at least once.”

Virgil stepped toward Logan without a word, fury running through his veins and making his vision go red. “That is NOT your job!” Virgil screamed. “You should have fucking RAN FOR YOUR LIFE. That thing,” Virgil was shaking in both fear and anger at this point, but he hoped the others couldn’t see his fear. He didn’t want him to know just how much that creature terrified him, even before he knew what it looked like. “That, MONSTER is not your fucking responsibility! You can’t just go into my mind and fight MY ANXIETY, risking YOUR LIFE cause you fucking feel like it! GOD DAMN IT LOGAN!”

“If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have been able to restore your memories,” Logan said. He managed to keep his voice level, but Virgil could see his eyes darkening. They were angry, but at least they weren’t blue. “Which you asked me to do. I also knew that any injuries I sustained would not truly affect me,” Logan paused abruptly as if stopping himself from saying something. “Virgil I refuse to apologize for attempting to help you.”

Virgil took a deep breath, trying to control himself. He knew he was being unreasonable, but Logan was too. He needed him to understand. “I care more about you then some stupid past life I had.” Virgil snapped. “And that thing… HURTS people. It hurt _you_ . _I_ hurt you.”

“Enough,” Logan finally snapped. He crossed his arms and stared Virgil down, his face still horrifyingly blank. “You did not hurt me. Once again, I am not hurt. Either way, unless you were somehow commanding the panther and ordering it to attack me then you did not have a hand in the fight whatsoever.”

“But, it was _my_ anxiety.” Virgil said, trying to control his shaking. “Whether it is attacking people in my head or yelling at me, it is always causing me to hurt people.” Virgil’s gaze fell to the ground as his resolve crumbled. He didn’t want to yell at Logan. But at the same time, he was scared, no, not just scared, _terrified_ , of what this creature could do. He just wanted to protect Logan.

“Virgil your anxiety is not in control of you,” Logan sighed. “It is similar to your abilities. It is a part of you, yes, and most likely will be for the rest of your life. However, you can learn to control it. And just like with your abilities, as I have begun to learn, other people can help you reach that point.”

“I know,” Virgil mumbled. He had heard all of this before, and he was sure he’d hear it again some day. “But… I still don’t understand why you were so determined to fight the thing. You knew I wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t get my memories. Hell, you knew I wasn’t even sure if I wanted them. So… why?”

“Because I care about you,” Logan said, his voice finally softening. “I’m terrified of how much I care. But what that means is that I am going to help you.”

“Oh my God will you two just kiss already?!” Roman groaned.

Virgil smirked, and didn’t look away from Logan as he spoke. “Oh, we already have, but I wouldn’t mind doing it again.” Virgil reached up to put his arms around Logan’s neck once more, and as Logan leaned down he rose onto his toes, meeting the taller boy halfway.

“OH HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!” Dee shouted, letting out a whoop of joy.

Virgil smiled against Logan’s lips. Suddenly, he heard something drop to the floor, and broke away from Logan quickly to see what the noise was. Patton stood, staring at them, bottle of pain meds on the floor, with a huge grin on his face. “SALE AND VINAGER HAPPENED!” Patton yelled joyfully and Virgil’s smile grew. He turned back to Logan and kissed him again, cause he could, before breaking away to get the medicine from Patton.

“And to think you both didn’t believe me when I told you you had a chance,” Roman sighed dramatically.

“Wait, what?” Virgil asked. “You knew!?”

“Oh yeah you both told me,” Roman nodded, a smug smirk on his face. “Logan was first, actually.”

“Wait, seriously?” Virgil turned to Logan in surprise. “When’d you tell him?”

“After he stormed off when he decided to trust Remus,” Logan answered.

“Yeah we had a vaguely homoerotic sword lesson,” Roman commented and Logan’s neck grew pink. “He got flustered when I got up behind him. I was all ‘Good thing you’re not attracted to me or this would be pretty awkward’ and-”

“Roman please shut up,” Logan pleaded.

“And I kid you not,” Roman continued on completely unperturbed. “He said ‘Thankfully I am much more attracted to your boyfriend’!”

“Oh you are _never_ living that down,” Dee cackled gleefully.

Virgil’s whole face had turned red when Roman had told the story, and he tried to hide behind the glass of water Patton had brought him to no avail. Patton caught him and laughed.

“Aww I think Virgil’s a little flustered over here,” Patton teased, putting an arm around Virgil. Virgil glanced at Logan, who looked completely mortified, and wiggled out of Patton’s grasp. He went back over to Logan and grinned at him.

“Guess I’m not the only one who gets easily flustered,” Virgil teased, booping Logan on the nose.

Logan went cross-eyed as he attempted to follow Virgil’s finger before he shook his head and looked over Virgil’s head.

“I, well-” Logan stammered. He crossed his arms and looked at the ground. “Shut up.”

“Fine. I’ll shut up if you promise to never mention my thing for your blue eyes.” Virgil said, crossing his arms as well. He was having way too much fun with this, and honestly, it was exactly the distraction he needed right now.

Logan smirked and Virgil knew he made a mistake. Logan looked back up at him and flashed his eyes. He didn’t even do anything with his powers, the bastard, just let his eyes glow for a moment before they returned to grey.

“Fuck you,” Virgil said looking at the ground with pink cheeks as Logan had been doing just a moment before. Virgil heard Roman laugh from behind him and turned to look his boyfriend in the eyes. “Shut the fuck up, Princey.”

“Isn’t he adorable when he’s all flustered?” Roman asked Logan in a teasing tone Virgil knew was meant for him.

“Very much so,” Logan agreed.

“I’m breaking up with both of you,” Virgil muttered, “You’re mean.”

“So you’re dating Logan then?” Dee piped up.

Virgil’s face grew even more red as he realized what he had implied. “I- I meant... GAH!” Virgil plopped into a chair irritably and stared at the ground, nervous for Logan’s response. Had he just fucked everything up? He really hoped not.

“I certainly hope so.”

Virgil looked up at Logan from under his bangs to see a grin on his face. “Okay, yeah, so I’m dating Logan.” Virgil said finally. “Which means I can in fact break up with both of you for being mean to me.”

“You won’t, you love me too much,” Roman teased. Virgil just looked up and stuck his tongue out at Roman, who just laughed. 

Suddenly Logan came up behind him, close enough that his hip was against Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil hadn’t even had time to process that before Logan’s hand came to rest on the back of his neck. Virgil huffed in frustration, but leaned his head further back against Logan’s hand. Patton giggled and Virgil shot him a glare, though he had a feeling with how much he was blushing that it probably wasn’t as intimidating as normal. Next thing Virgil knew he was being lifted into the air and placed onto Roman’s lap, though Logan’s hand still followed the motion. Virgil let out a noise of protest, but neither boy stopped, especially once Virgil nuzzled closer to Roman’s chest like a cat, causing Logan and Roman to laugh.

Virgil noticed Dee taking pictures and glared at him, but Dee didn’t stop and Virgil didn’t want to get up, so he just ignored him. They all stayed in the dining room area for another hour or so before they decided to stay another night and headed for the bedroom area once more. It wasn’t until they got up and Logan was careful not to lose contact with Virgil that Virgil realized what they had been doing for the last hour. They had been trying to distract him and keep him grounded. Virgil rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything as, if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t want them to stop. For the first time in a very long time, Virgil willingly accepted help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to read Salem's end for a bit of Intrulogical gayness (and other stuff that is not included in Virgil's perspective)!!! Thank you guys so much for reading, and feel free to leave comments, we love reading them!!!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Sunday is back again, and we are actually posting early enough that I am not in bed this time!! This chapter has a good amount of differences in the two perspectives, so make sure to read both!! Also, kind of a new thing, we have a one-shot that takes place during this chapter but didn't really fit with the flow. It is called Logan Stole His Hoodie and is posted to the collection, it is very fluffy and if you like gay Virgil I definitely recommend you read it. We may do a couple more during the writing of this but for the most part any one-shots will take place after this part of the story and before the sequel. Anyways, I hope you enjoy both chapters and the one-shot!!!  
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Nightmares, panic attacks, anxiety, lack of sleep, descriptions of murder and torture, jealousy, fear, self-deprecation, worry, anger/arguing, idk I'm kinda rambling now cause like I think that's it for my end but I'm not 100% sure so PLEASE tell me if I missed anything!!!

I was a few days after Virgil had gotten his memories back and Virgil had actually fallen asleep that night. He was actually pretty proud of himself for it. He was in desperate need of sleep, and his thoughts had been keeping him awake so much since he had gotten his memories back.

Which was why Virgil was so pissed when he was woken abruptly to a banging on the door of the apartment they were staying in. He groaned quietly as he rolled out of bed, taking a moment to register what was happening, but the moment he did he had grabbed his gun and was following Roman out the door.

Out in the main room, Logan was already there. Dee and Patton came soon after, Dee with his giant cult knife and Patton unhappily holding his pocket knife. Virgil raised his gun as he watched Logan count down on his fingers before carefully opening the door to reveal… Remus. Holding an unconscious man.

The moment Remus saw them, he dropped the man to the floor and raised his hands above his head. “Shit!” he yelled, “It’s just me!”

“Oh my fucking God,” Dee exclaimed, lowering his knife. The rest of them quickly did the same, Roman gently placing his hands over Virgil’s as he pushed down the gun. Virgil sighed.

“Well, if everything is good here, I’m going back to bed,” Virgil grumbled. He immediately turned and headed back to his and Roman’s room, barely hearing Roman’s response.

“Of course you are.”

Virgil wanted so desepratly to fall back to sleep after Remus had woken them all up in the middle of the fucking night like he owned the place, but he couldn’t. He layed in bed, tossing and turning as he tried to ignore the muffled whispers outside the door, plagued by memories. The memories weren’t the only problem, as his tether to Logan often kept him awake. Virgil had gotten pretty good at ignoring it, but after a few minutes the tether seemed to grow stronger and he felt a sharp tug on his chest. There was no way he was falling back to sleep. Finally, with a sigh, Viirgil threw off the covers and got up, deciding that as sleep was not going to come, he might as well make sure he is filled in. He walked back into the living area to find Patton patching up Remus on the couch, before looking over to see Logan… entering someone's mind? That must have been the extra strength in the tugging that Virgil had felt. Before Virgil could even think, he turned toward Remus agrily.

“What the hell is he doing,” Virgil growled as he approached his boyfriend’s twin. “Who the hell let him go back into someone's mind!?” He turned and looked at the others. “Did you all already forget what happened last time!?”

“Wait, what!?” Remus said from the couch, pulling away from Patton as he sat up. “What happened last time?”

“Oh, I dunno, he just FOUGHT THE MANIFESTATION OF MY ANXIETY!!” Virgil yelled. How could Logan do this again, especially when the memory of what happened last time was still so fresh.

“He fucking WHAT!?” Remus replied. Virgil was surprised by the emotion in Remus’s voice as he yelled, looking between Virgil and the others. 

“Yeah!” Virgil replied angrily. “And I swear to every God anyone has ever believed in, if he starts fucking screaming again like last time, I will KILL YOU!”

“Ooookay kiddo’s, maybe we should just calm down-” Patton started, but Remus cut him off.

“Damn it!” Remus shouted. “Why didn’t he tell me?! God, and he got annoyed with me for taking risks. When he gots out of that dude's mind, me and him are gonna have WORDS!”

Virgil looked at Remus, shocked. Why did Remus seem to care so much about Logan? After considering it for a moment, Virgil decided he didn’t care about the reason, cause Remus was on his side. “Damn right!” Virgil said, watching Logan worriedly. He wished there was some way to pull Logan out now, keep him safe from whatever potential monsters were in this person's head, but he couldn’t. All he could do was wait. He turned back to Remus. “Why the hell is he even doing this in the first place?” Virgil asked.

“I got busted, he’s erasing the guy’s memories of figuring me out,” Remus sighed. “God, I can’t believe I could have been so  _ stupid _ .”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either,” Virgil snapped back, before finally sitting down on the arm of the couch farther from Remus with a sigh. “Too fucking late now.”

The group sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Patton spoke. “Remus?”

“What?” Remus snapped.

“Could I finish up your stitches now? That needle sticking out of your side doesn’t look very comfortable.”

Remus chuckled, but leaned back again, allowing Patton to finish his stitches while they waited for Logan to return. There had been no yells or anything, however it had been nearly an hour, and Virgil was starting to get really concerned, to the point that he was considering trying to shake Logan or  _ something _ , when Logan finally opened his eyes.

“There,” Logan said, nodding to himself. “All of the memories concerning Remus’s true loyalties have been erased.”

“Logan.” Remus said. Logan blinked up at Remus and tilted his head, reminding Virgil of an owl. “I’m about to yell at you, but first I have to check. Are you okay?”

“Yes?” Logan answered, but it sounded like a question. “However I would prefer if I  _ wasn’t  _ lectured. Or at least to know why.”

“Oh, uh, I dunno, maybe it’s because you went BACK INTO SOMEONE’S MIND right after what happened with me?” Virgil yelled, turning toward Logan. God, why wouldn’t this boy stop taking so many risks!? “What the FUCK is wrong with you!?”

“Once again I cannot be harmed within a person’s mindscape,” Logan sighed. “I was prepared and as you can see I am perfectly fine. I do not understand why you’re so angry considering I was perfectly safe and completed the task.”

“Perfectly safe?” Remus scoffed. Logan’s eyes widened and got a panicked look in them as he looked desperately between Remus and Virgil. “Yeah, sure, unless you get yourself killed!”

“Wait, WHAT!?” Virgil yelled, anger doubling as he looked at Logan. “So you just didn’t tell me that you can DIE while inside someone's mind!?”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” Logan explained with a sigh.

“Well, look what good that did you,” Virgil said. “Now I’m worried AND pissed the fuck off!”

“Logan why didn’t you tell me what happened?” Remus asked, seeming to not care that he had just shared information that Logan had intentionally kept from Virgil. Virgil supposed it was fair, considering Logan hadn’t told Remus about the fight and Virgil had told Remus anyways.

“Because I knew this was how you would react!” Logan finally raised his voice but only barely as he stood up from the chair and stared the two of them down. “If I had encountered something I would have removed myself from the environment and either re-entered with a plan or found some other way to do it. Despite what you apparently believe I am not actually an incapable moron.”

Virgil stood up too, but as he still stood 6 inches shorter than Logan, he decided it would be more effective to step onto the chair Logan had just gotten up from. He stood over Logan and looked down at him as he spoke. “See, you say that, yet when it happened in my mind you FOUGHT the damn thing, risking your own LIFE apparently, and THREW IT OUT A FUCKING WINDOW!”

“Yes and I learned from the experience!” Logan argued. “Do you think I enjoyed having teeth longer than Roman’s katana embedded into my shoulder? Or seeing my worst fears play out in front of me, fears I didn’t even know I had? I was caught off-guard and reacted, that’s all it was.”

Virgil's resolve cracked as he looked down at his boyfriend. He may not have had a physical fight with his anxiety, but he knew exactly what Logan was talking about. He felt it every single day. Virgil sighed as he wrapped his arms around Logan, pulling Logan’s head to his chest. Logan’s arms immediately wrapped around his waist and he sighed into Virgil’s chest. “I know.” Virgil said. “But please don’t do these things without telling me, okay? And tell me the whole truth. Don’t just leave out parts about how you could die cause you don’t want to worry me, okay?”

“Only if you at least try to  _ trust me _ ,” Logan pulled back just enough so he could look at Remus as well. “Both of you. If you react like this with every calculated risk I take, we will not make any steps toward ending Fove. I need you next to me, not breathing down my neck.”

Virgil looked at Remus, who appeared to have a pained expression on his face, before noticing Virgil was looking at him and quickly covering it up. Did Remus… no, he didn’t, did he? The overprotectiveness, him being upset when Virgil showed Logan affection… Virgil decided to put those thoughts off for another time as he looked back at Logan. “I’ve never not trusted you. I just get scared is all. But I’ll try to work on that.”

“Yeah okay.” Remus said. “I wouldn’t have freaked so much if you had told me everything in the first place, but fine, whatever.”

“I do sincerely apologize for that Remus.” Logan took Virgil’s hand but stepped over so he could rest his other hand on Remus’s arm. “I shouldn’t have kept that information from you. You as well, Virgil.”

“Whatever, it’s all good,” Remus said, brushing Logan’s hand off his shoulder, though Virgil could still see remnants of the pain in his eyes as he pushed Logan’s affection away. Virgil also noticed a flash of hurt on Logan’s face too. Suddenly, Virgil wished he had Roman’s seemingly endless knowledge of romance and flirting to figure out what the hell was going on here. Yet sadly, he did not.

“Just don’t let it happen again.” Virgil said, finally stepping off of the chair he had still been standing on. Though being able to tower over Logan had been entertaining, he did have a thing for taller boys, and was somewhat glad to be standing a full head shorter than Logan again.

“Remus?” Logan prompted. “Are you sure you’re alright? You’re acting...odd.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Remus said quickly. “Just a little sore.”

“I’ll get you some pain meds kiddo,” Patton said, finally getting up to walk over to the kitchen and fill a glass of water before retrieving the medication from the first aid kit and handing it to Remus. “Here you go kiddo. Now, I’m gonna go check on Dee. Let me know if you guys need anything.” Patton picked up the first aid kit then left.

Virgil heard a sigh and turned to see Roman leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. He’d been so caught up in his anger he’d completely forgotten Roman was there.

“You might as well stay here for the night,” Roman muttered, surprising Virgil. Last time Virgil had checked, Roman despised Remus. What had changed? He’d have to ask Roman later. He watched as Roman pushed off the wall and hoisted the cultist on to his shoulder. “I’ll deal with this guy too. You can sleep with Logan, I guess since you two are so chummy.”

“You want me to come too?” Virgil offered quickly, before Roman could leave.

“No you go back to bed.” Roman shook his head. “I’ll be back soon.”

Virgil sighed as he watched Roman leave, before turning to head back to the bedroom. A few minutes later, he heard the door open and assumed it was Roman coming back, but no one came into the room. Worried, Virgil got up and walked to the door, stopping when he heard voices. It was Roman and Remus. They were talking, and there was no yelling. Virgil knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but his curiosity got the best of him as he leaned against the door to hear better.

"-alright?" Roman said. "This is  _ not _ me forgiving you. It's just...it's just an opportunity. You lost my trust, Rem, and it's gonna take me a hell of a long time to forgive that, if it all. But, I can give you the chance to earn it back."

“Wait, seriously!?” Remus said. “You’re… you’re willing to give me another chance? After everything I’ve done to you? I’ve… I’ve hurt you and… you want to give me a chance?”

"You helped Virgil," Roman answered. Wait, Remus had helped him? How? What was going on? "Without you, he wouldn't have his memories back. And that helped Logan too. So yeah, I guess. But it's a fragile chance you understand? If you ever lie to me again... you'll lose me for good Rem. So just, no more secrets, okay?"

“Okay,” Remus replied. “Oh God, thank you so much Roman I… I thought you were gone… I thought I had broken us beyond repair and, God… you may not believe this now but… but I can’t live without you Roman. I love you. You’re my other half and I am so so unbelievably sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you, I promise.”

"Yeah you better," Roman muttered. "I do have some questions still."

“Ask me anything,” Remus said. “But first… can I… can I hug you?”

"...yeah, yeah okay," Roman replied. Virgil heard some shifting and he heard Remus sigh. There was a moment of quiet before one of them spoke again.

“Thank you.” Remus said. “Now, questions. You can ask me now or later, or whenever you think of something. I’ll answer anything you want to know. You deserve to know the truth.”

"How long?" Roman asked simply. 

“I was forced to join at 16,” Remus replied.

"That's about when you had me sign up for all those self-defense classes," Roman realized. "Wait, what do you mean 'forced'?"

“Yeah it is,” Remus agreed. “I… I didn’t want to join I swear but… they said they’d kill you if I didn’t. That’s why I put you through all those classes.”

"O-oh…" Roman said. "But why didn't you  _ tell _ me?! And don't you fucking dare say you did it to protect me, you dick."

“I…” Remus started. “I don’t know. I just… God they made me do such horrible things. I didn’t want you involved and I guess… I was ashamed. I was ashamed of what I did, and I didn’t want you to see me differently.”

"And look what good that did you," Roman pointed out. Virgil couldn't see him, but he knew his boyfriend well enough to know he had spread his arms out wide or something equally as dramatic. "I could've supported you, dumbass! Instead you lied to my face every day for two fucking years!"

“I’m sorry,” Remus said so quietly Virgil almost didn’t catch it. “I wanted to tell you. It was so fucking hard not to. But I was scared. I’m sorry. I was an idiot.”

"Yes you were," Roman sighed. "Look if I know Virgil he's probably waiting for me, so just go find Logan. I'm going to bed. Good night, Rem."

“G’night,” Virgil heard Remus say. Virgil heard Roman moving toward the door and quickly moved away from the door, jumping into bed and attempting to appear as if he had been there the whole time. Sadly, Roman knew him too well.

"So?" Roman prompted. "How much did you hear?"

“Wha-” Virgil spluttered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He crossed his arms playfully as Roman sat on the bed, knowing his boyfriend wouldn’t buy it.

"Uh huh, sure," Roman rolled his eyes. 

They were quiet for a moment as they laid there, before Virgil spoke. “He really helped Logan get my memories back?” He asked quietly.

"Yeah he did," Roman confirmed. He shifted around a bit with a sigh. "Apparently he was the guinea pig."

“Okay,” Virgil nodded thoughtfully. He didn’t trust Remus. He didn’t trust people easily in normal situations, but this was pretty crazy and he  _ knew _ Remus was not going to get his trust back easily. And after what he did to Roman.... but Roman wanted to give Remus a second chance, and Virgil was going to be on Roman’s side with this, no matter what. “You really want to give him another chance?” Virgil asked.

"I do," Roman nodded. "I don't know if it'll last, but I wanna give it a shot, you know? I know it wasn't entirely his choice now, but it still hurts."

“Yeah, I know.” Virgil replied. God, he knew more than he wanted to admit. After finding out the people who had raised him the past four years weren't his parents. That they had lied to his face every single day for four years, Virgil knew better than anyone what Roman felt. He just hoped they had at least some reason like Remus did. “Well, then I’ll try to be nice too. But if he does something, just say the word, okay?”

"Thank you." Roman reached out a hand and cupped Virgil's cheek and smiled for the first time that night since Remus had shown up. "I love you, Virgil." 

“I love you too, Princey,” Virgil replied, leaning into Roman’s hand and smiling. Suddenly Roman broke into a fit of giggles.

"Sorry, sorry," Roman apologized when he managed to get himself semi under control. "I don't think I'm ever gonna get tired of hearing that."

“Good, cause I’m gonna keep saying it,” Virgil’s smile grew, before his thoughts went back to the only other people in his life he had told those words to in the last four years, and his smile fell.

"Virgil?" Roman asked. "Are you alright? Did I say something?"

“No, no, you didn’t say anything,” Virgil was quick to reassure. “Just… you’re the only person I’ve said that to other than my…  _ adoptive _ parents since I was twelve. Just… don’t lie to me like that,  _ ever _ , okay?” Virgil tried to hide the waver in his voice as he finished.

"Never," Roman promised, not a single hint of hesitation in his voice. "I will  _ never  _ lie to you like they did, I swear it on my honor."

“Okay, thank you,” Virgil said as he felt his smile reappear. He snuggled up closer to Roman and relaxed with his head on his chest. He felt Roman’s hand start to run through his hair and sighed. He closed his eyes as he listened to Roman’s heart, allowing the steady beat to put him to sleep. 

It had been a few days since Remus had brought the cultist to have his mind wiped, and Virgil wasn’t asleep. He hadn’t been able to sleep much since Logan had returned his memories. Trying to process twelve years of memories in a few weeks was apparently a very difficult feat, and he was refusing to do it. He didn’t want to think about the memories, and he didn’t want to accept the knowledge he had gained, but his subconscious had other plans for him. Therefore, he didn’t sleep.

That was how Virgil heard the screaming. It was coming from where Logan was sleeping. Logan had been sleeping alone for some reason that Virgil didn’t understand, but when he heard the screams all thoughts of respecting his privacy went out the window. He jumped out of bed, careful not to disturb Roman, and grabbed his gun from his bag. He hated the thing, but he had to be prepared. Logan was screaming, a cult was after them, it made sense that someone could be attacking him.

Virgil ran into Logan’s room, gun held in preparation to shoot anyone hurting Logan but… there was no one in there. Logan was just sitting on his bed, breathing heavily and crying, items floating around the room. Knowing what nightmare aftermath looked like from too much experience, Virgil quickly threw the gun to the side. He went over to Logan and grabbed his shoulders firmly, trying to help ground him. “Logan, hey, I’m here, okay. You’re awake, everything is okay. You need to breathe, okay? I need you to breathe.”

Virgil noticed Logan’s hands in his hair, pulling it painfully. He released his grip on Logan’s shoulders and carefully removed Logan’s hands from his hair, taking them in his own.

“It’s okay, you’re safe. Everyone is safe. I need you to breathe with me, okay? Breathe in for four, okay?” Logan didn’t respond so Virgil began to count the breaths out loud in the most soothing voice he could despite his own remaining panic from hearing Logan screaming in the middle of the night. He kept counting until finally,  _ finally _ , Logan began to breathe with him. Virgil moved his thumbs to rub soothing circles on the back of Logan’s hands. After what felt like an eternity, Logan was breathing near normal again, and Virgil stopped counting, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“It’s okay,” Virgil said soothingly, hoping his voice could help to ground Logan. “You’re here, we’re safe, everything’s okay.”

Virgil felt Logan try to pull his hands back as he cleared his throat, but he didn’t let him, knowing the touch could help to ground him in the here and now, instead of wherever he had been before.

“I apologize for waking you,” Logan’s voice was rough as he spoke. “You can go back to Roman now, you need your sleep.”

“Nope,” Virgil was shaking his head before Logan had even finished. “You’re not allowed to apologize, and I’m not going to leave you alone like this. What happened? Did you have a nightmare or something?” He decided mentioning that he hadn’t been asleep was unnecessary. Logan didn’t need to know that, and he doubted the knowledge would help anything.

“It was a nightmare,” Logan answered, confirming Virgil’s suspicion. “However I can handle it, I assure you.”

“Sure,” Virgil replied. He wasn't an idiot, Logan was one of the strongest people he knew, of course he could handle it. But that didn’t mean he had to do it alone. “But I’m still not letting you handle it alone,” Virgil got up from the bed to retrieve the black hoodie he had given Logan from where it sat on the floor. “Here, put this on. It helps.”

Logan took the hoodie and quickly put it on, causing Virgil a small smile as he saw his boyfriend wrapped tightly in his old hoodie.

“Thank you,” Logan said quietly. “But you should try to get some sleep, Virgil. I can’t ask you to stay with me and cause you to be exhausted tomorrow.”

“You’re not asking,” Virgil sat back down on the bed and looked at Logan. “But I’m staying anyway.” Might as well admit his lack of sleep if it would make Logan let him stay. “I wasn’t asleep when I heard you in the first place, so it’s no biggie.” Virgil paused, wondering if he should ask what the dream was about or if it would just upset Logan more. He decided to give Logan the option, knowing talking often helped him, even though he didn’t do it much. “Wanna tell me what it was about?”

“No!” Logan answered quickly. Too quickly. “I mean, that won’t be necessary.”

Virgil sighed. “Look, I have nightmares too, and I know they aren’t easy to talk about, but it does help. Please, talk to me.” He wasn’t going to push too much more, but he just wanted to give the option. He wanted to help.

“I can’t,” Logan said, his voice barely above a whisper. Virgil watched as Logan closed his eyes, wrapping the hoodie tighter around him. “I just...I can’t. I can’t think about it, I don’t want to risk...well I’m sure you saw when you entered.”

Virgil saw in his body language that he needed the physical touch back, so he wrapped his arm around Logan, pulling him close as he rubbed his back. “Okay, I won’t force you. Why don’t we talk about something else? I dunno, like, a casual conversation? I feel like I haven’t gotten to have a conversation that wasn’t about memories or powers, shit, I mean abilities, since we met.” Logan didn’t want to talk, so it was time for plan B, distraction.

“I suppose we don’t know as much about each other as typical romantic partners do,” Logan muttered.

“Right. Okay, I’ll start.” Virgil stopped, trying to think of something to say, but as a teenager with extreme anxiety, he had never been the best at social interaction. “Damn it, how do people just start casual conversations, it’s so hard! Ugh!”

“It is a mystery to me as well,” Logan shrugged, and Virgil bit back a chuckle. “Though I don’t mind as much when I’m with you.”

“Seriously?” Virgil felt his face turn red. “You just had a full on panic attack and  _ still _ you are trying to kill me. Unbelievable.” Virgil sighed dramatically. He felt Logan flinch and quickly realized that was not the right thing to say. He tightened his arm around Logan.

“Hey, Lo, it’s okay, I was just teasing,” Virgil went through his mind frantically, desperately trying to come up with a conversation starter. He went with the best thing he could think of. “Here, let’s start with this. You know my favorite color is purple, what’s yours?”

“I’m not sure,” Logan answered. “Perhaps blue? A darker blue, not that blue.” 

“Good choice,” Virgil said, nodding. “Much better than Roman, who had to choose the most obnoxious shade of red there is.” Logan chuckled and Virgil smiled. “Okay, what else can we talk about? You like to read, right? You have a favorite book?”

“I enjoy the Darkest Minds trilogy,” Logan admitted. “Though I was mostly made to read nonfiction rather than fiction.”

“I’ve never read it, what’s it about?” Virgil asked. He was trying to keep conversation going to distract his panicked boyfriend, but the title also sounded cool, and Virgil found himself genuinely interested.

“Oh,” Logan said. “It is about a young girl named Ruby who is classified as dangerous by society for her abilities so she had to hide who she was until she was able to finally use her abilities and make a better world for the people she loved that accepted her for who she truly was.”

“Hey, I think I know someone like that,” Virgil teased. “But that actually sounds really cool. Maybe I’ll read it after all this is over.” Virgil’s eyes widened in excitement as he got an idea. “Oh, I could read the Darkest Minds trilogy and you could read Harry Potter and we can make it like a little book club!”

“That would be enjoyable,” Logan said, turning his head to look up at Virgil. “Could I ask you some questions?”

“Yeah of course,” Virgil replied, glad his distraction seemed to be working.

“What would your ideal date look like?” Logan asked. 

Virgil hesitated as he thought, realizing he had never really been on a true date. He knew he wouldn’t want anything extravagant, but he wasn't sure.

“Oh, uh, I dunno…” Virgil said. “I mean, I’ve only ever been in a long distance relationship, so I haven’t really been on a real date. I guess it would probably be something pretty casual. Like, maybe take out and a movie or something. I dunno though.”

“I doubt I would enjoy something extravagant either,” Logan shrugged. His head slipped off Virgil’s shoulder and slowly lowered into Virgil’s lap. Virgil smiled as he took to playing with Logan’s unoccupied fingers as he spoke. “How you and Roman began a relationship mystifies me, though it is clear you care for each other deeply.”

“Yeah, honestly I’m not sure how it happened either,” Virgil laughed. It had all just kinda happened with him and Roman. Roman had been flirting with him for months, and Virgil had been too oblivious to realize it until Roman had finally asked him out, and without knowing why, Virgil had said yes. It had just kind of gone from there. Thinking of him and Roman’s relationship reminded Vigil of something he had been meaning to ask Logan. “Oh, hey, speaking of Roman, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“That is the purpose of the exercise,” Logan pointed out.

“True. Okay, I’m just gonna do it, but if you don’t wanna answer you don’t have to.” Virgil started, knowing he was beginning to ramble. He didn’t want to invade Logan’s privacy, and he obviously didn’t care about Logan’s answer, he cared about him no matter what, but as always, his curiosity got the better of him. “Obviously I’m poly, and though I haven’t said it, it’s clearly no secret that I’m gay. I know you’re okay with me dating both you and Roman, but I was wondering about you I guess. Gay? Bi? Pan? Poly? I dunno. I don’t need to know, I was just wondering.”

“It is alright Virgil,” Logan replied. “I’ve never truly considered it. I believe myself to be somewhere on the asexual spectrum, though I do not know enough terms to say where. I do feel sexual attraction, but not as often as most, so you are quite the rare exception. Though the only gender I am attracted to is male, so I suppose I would be gay as well. I am quite sure that I am poly, however.”

Virgil nodded and smiled. “Hey, poly buddies!” He said happily. “I mean, I knew you were okay with me being with Roman, but I know open relationships can be weird and stuff, and, like Roman is totally accepting, considering he was so determined to get us together but I just… I still worry I guess. It’s what I’m best at after all.” He hadn’t voiced that worry to anyone before, and honestly he didn’t know why he was saying it now, it had just kind of come out.

“I believe you are wonderful at many things,” Logan stated.

“Yeah, you and no one else,” Virgil muttered under his breath, hoping Logan couldn’t hear before getting back to the task at hand: distraction. “Anyways, I’m supposed to be distracting you, what other things do people talk about in normal conversation?”

“I spent most of my life in near isolation so don’t ask me,” Logan joked.

“Yeah well I spent most of my life missing most of my memories, so I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask either.” Virgil joked right back. 

Logan chuckled and nuzzled into Virgil’s stomach, causing a warm smile to form on his lips. 

“Did I ever tell you what your mind was like?” Logan suddenly said, surprising Virgil. He looked so tired, obviously now was not the time to be talking about what Virgil’s mind looked like. Virgil wasn’t even sure he wanted to know.

“No,” Virgil replied. “But you look tired. How about you go to sleep and you can tell me tomorrow. I’ll keep the nightmares away.”

Virgil felt Logan tense up in his lap and sighed. Of course he wouldn’t want to go back to sleep. But he had to.

“Hey,” Virgil said soothingly. “It’ll be okay, I promise. I’ll be here the whole time. I’ll keep you safe.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Logan muttered, confusing Virgil.

“What do you mean?” Virgil asked, keeping his voice soothing and calm.

“If it happens and I start to panic,” Logan said hesitantly. “I can’t regain control if I’m asleep. You saw what happened when I’m, I’m afraid. I don’t...I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“You don’t have to worry about that with me,” Virgil reminded him. “If I feel something building up I can wake you up before it gets too bad, okay?”

“Promise?” Logan asked.

Virgil took the hand he had been playing with and mauvered it so he could hook their pinkies together. “I promise.”

“Then I suppose I could attempt it,” Logan relented. “However, you need to sleep as well.”

“I’ll be fine,” Virgil reassured quickly. Probably too quickly. “I’ve got some pesky thought’s I’ve gotta sort through.”

“I’ll comfort you as you have comforted me,” Logan said. Logan shifted and maneuvered so both him and Virgil were under the blankets. “We both need sleep, or we will be no help to anyone tomorrow. Please, for me?”

“You underestimate how much I can do off of zero sleep,” Virgil said jokingly, but then he saw the pleading look in Logan’s eyes and sighed. “But I’ll try. I promise nothing though.”

“I guess tha’s nuff,” Logan slurred adorably as he fell asleep. Virgil listened to his breathing slow, waiting a moment to make sure he was definitely asleep before getting up. He grabbed the gun he had thrown and quietly snuck back into his room to put it away, grabbing a marker. He knew he didn’t have time to make a spell circle, and he hated that. He had done simple protection sigils without the circle before with Logan, but it scared him every time, as he feared the voice of the Demon returning. But that didn’t matter right now, what mattered was helping Logan.

He quickly returned to the room with Logan and laid back down beside him. He took Logan’s hand carefully and rolled up the sleeve, turning it over to reveal the inside of Logan’s wrist. He took the marker and focused all the positive energy he could into what he was drawing, careful to draw it correctly while not waking Logan up.

Once the sigil was complete, Virgil murmured, “dreamless sleep,” under his breath. He knew it was technically a protection sigil, and it wasn’t exactly made to prevent nightmares, but he hoped that with the energy he had channeled into it, that it would still work.

Virgil set down the marker with a sigh and leaned back on the pillows. He was exhausted, but he knew he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t risk the memories his subconscious forced him to face, and he had to stay up in case the spell didn’t work and Logan had another nightmare. So Virgil spent the rest of the night laying next to Logan, watching as the sigil slowly faded from Logan’s wrist as the magic was used, knowing his boyfriend was safe, at least for tonight.

It had been a few days since Logan’s nightmare, and Logan had begun sleeping with the others again, and they were able to comfort him when he woke up, which made Virgil feel slightly better, but he was still worried about his new boyfriend. He was working on finding a way to help, but didn’t have quite enough knowledge of magic to figure it out, and he knew if he asked Logan he would say he was fine. The only other person Virgil could think to ask was Remus, who had started coming over to hang out with them more when he wasn’t busy with the cult. Virgil had been procrastinating on talking to him about Roman, but he knew he would have to eventually. And after his conversation with Logan the night of the nightmare and learning of the nightmares themself, he had a good amount of things he wanted to talk to Remus about, meaning he had to get off his ass and stop procrastinating.

He was prepared to ask Remus to talk to him alone the next time he was there, albeit extremely anxious about it, but turned out he didn’t actually have to go through with it, as Remus got to him first.

“Hey Virge!” Remus called when Virgil entered the room they were in.

“Don’t call me that,” Virgil muttered.

“Okay, fine.” Remus replied with a sigh. “I was just gonna offer to teach you some new spell shit while I’m here, but whatever, if you hate me that much.”

Virgil sighed. Again, he really didn’t want to talk to Remus, but he knew he had to, and this was the perfect opportunity. “Okay fine, let’s go.” Virgil relented, grabbing his backpack with supplies and walking outside without looking to see if Remus was following. Once he had found a large enough area, he began to make a spell circle, not acknowledging Remus as he stood, watching.

“Wow, that’s so fucking cool,” Remus muttered once the spell circle was complete, a violet circle lightly glowing around Virgil. “Damn, I wish I could do that. Well, I mean, I kinda can, but it's really fucking difficult.”

“Yeah, well I’d give you my powers if I could.” Virgil muttered, ignoring Remus’s surprised and concerned expression as he continued. “Anyway, before we get started there were actually a couple things I wanted to talk to you about.” Remus looked even more surprised at that, but nodded for Virgil to go on. Virgil took a deep breath as he thought about where to start. Roman, right? Yes. He would cover Remus’s obvious crush on Logan after that.

“I overheard you and Roman talking the other night.” Virgil admitted. Remus opened his mouth to say something but Virgil raised his hand to cut him off. “I know Roman is giving you another chance. Now, I don’t trust you in the least and I’m still hella pissed about what you did to Roman, but I care about him, so if he is giving you a chance, then I will try as well. HOWEVER, I am on Roman’s side in this, so if he changes his mind, or if you do anything else to hurt him EVER again, I will hurt you.” Virgil hadn’t meant to get so aggressive, but honestly he didn’t care. He’d be nice to Remus in a minute when he told him that Logan was poly so he had a shot. Now was the time he could be pissy, and he was gonna take it.

“I understand,” Remus said with a nod. “Thank you, though. Any chance is probably more than I deserve.”

“Yeah, it is,” Virgil muttered, before seeing the hurt in Remus’s eyes and sighing. “I’m sorry. I’m just mad at you. So I don’t know why I’m about to help you, but I’m going to anyway.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You have a crush on Logan,” Virgil said with a shrug. Virgil saw Remus’s eyes widen and quickly continued. “Don’t worry, I only realized after you got so upset when you saw us together. Now, I’m not about to pull a Roman and play matchmaker, because like I said, I don’t like you. But, you care about protecting Logan, and that means something. So, I just thought I should tell you… Logan’s poly. You still have a chance.”

Remus’s eyes widened even more as a smile grew on his face. “Wait, seriously. That’s fucking great!” Then he frowned. “Shit, and I’ve been being a jerk to him since I saw you guys together. God fucking damn it.”

“Yeah, well, good luck with that,” Virgil said sarcastically. Then, he decided he was done with all the heartfelt moment shit. He had his fill of emotions for the day. “Okay, now, magic. I don’t know what you were planning on teaching me, but I was wondering if you had anything to keep nightmares away?”

Virgil had been researching this ever since the night with Logan. Logan had continued to have nightmares and it wasn’t like he could just draw a protection sigil on Logan’s wrist every night. Not only would that be extremely draining for Virgil, but it would also continue to open him up to the demon voice, and he didn’t think he could take that. He had been working on making a charm of sorts for Logan to wear. It was a little dream catcher. He had stolen the supplies a couple days ago and made the charm in his and Logan’s favorite colors with some beads hanging off. He had done a couple protective sigils on some of the beads, but he knew he needed something that was more specifically targeted at dreams, and he couldn’t find anything. He was hoping maybe Remus would know something.

“Well, I don’t know much,” Remus admitted. “I studied a couple more advanced warding spells to teach you, but I don’t know anything beyond that. But like I said, Fove does have a fuck ton of resources. I’m sure I could snatch you a book and no one would even notice.”

Virgil nodded. Normally he would be opposed to anyone taking a risk like that for him, but this was for Logan, and Remus seemed to know what he was doing. He hadn’t gotten caught yet. Remus smiled.

“Awesome! I’ll bring it next time I stop by! How about I teach you the ones I actually studied though, before I forget.” Remus said with a smirk.

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that,” Virgil replied, an actual smile beginning to form on his lips. Him and Remus spent the next couple hours with Virgil in the spell circle, working on warding sigils and even a couple defensive spells Remus had picked up. Virgil still didn’t like or trust Remus, not in the least, but maybe, someday, he would.

Virgil was surprised, but not unpleasantly so, when Remus came to where they were staying the next day. He quickly went over to Virgil, a mischievous grin on his face, and pulled out an old, won, brown leather bound book with yellowed pages. 

“This book’s got all the spell shit you could possibly need for nightmares, protection, and even some defense,” Remus explained. “It has some seriously advanced shit in it. I hope it helps.”

Virgil nodded and took the book gratefully. He was about to leave to go put it in his backpack when Remus spoke again.

“Can I…” Remus started. Virgil turned to look at him. “Can I ask why you need it, the nightmare protection stuff?”

“No,” Virgil said quickly. But then he noticed the concerned look in Remus’s eyes. God, he was so stupid. Of course Remus would think he needed it for himself. He hadn’t been getting much sleep, and despite the extra dark eyeshadow he had been wearing under his eyes to try and cover it up, Remus was too observant to be fooled. Virgil sighed. “Look, it’s not for me, okay? So don’t go tattling on me to Roman, telling him I’m having nightmares when I’m not, got it?”

“Got it,” Remus replied.

After that, Virgil actually left, going to put the book away before rejoining everyone to hang out for a while like they often did when Remus came by. Once Remus left a few hours later, they got back on the road.

For the next week or so, Virgil spent every free moment he had studying the book and the sigils, trying to figure out how to cast them so he could finish his charm for Logan. He felt Logan’s powers building up every day as Logan suppressed them due to whatever nightmare was plaguing him.

After another spell circle of tried and failed sigils, Virgil was starting to think he wasn’t gonna be able to do it in time. That Logan was gonna break before he could make one stupid charm to help him. God, he was so fucking useless, he couldn’t even use magic to keep a couple dreams away. He had just opened the spell circle and was putting his stuff away when Patton came by. He stopped when he saw Virgil and walked over, smiling.

“Hey kiddo, what are you doing out here?” Patton asked as he neared Virgil.

“Oh, just failing to use magic cause I’m fucking useless,” Virgil heard himself say before he could stop himself. He snapped his mouth closed with an audible click as he silently begged to take back the words. 

“Oh,” Patton said. He paused, looking at Virgil with worried eyes. “First of all, language. But second of all, I don’t think that’s true. You’ve been doing so much magic since Logan started teaching you, it’s pretty amazing to see. Just cause you’re having troubles doesn’t mean you’re useless.”

“Yeah I know, I’m sorry I said anything,” Virgil muttered, hoping Patton would just let it drop. But of course, Patton never just let anything drop, did he?

“Don’t be sorry,” Patton said. “I want to help.”

Virgil sighed. “Yeah, well I’m not sure there’s much you can do considering I’m the only spell caster in this group anywhere near advanced enough to cast this spell, and even I can’t seem to get it right.”

Patton stood quietly for a moment, looking at Virgil thoughtfully before speaking. “I know I can’t cast spells but that doesn’t mean I can’t help.”

Virgil sighed. He loved Patton, he really did, but sometimes his constant need to help got a bit annoying. Especially in situations like these where Virgil was stuck explaining to Patton that there just wasn’t anything he could do.

“Look, Patton.” Virgil started. “I really appreciate the offer, but I just don’t think there is anything you can do. I’m just stuck trying to get this stupid sigil to work. I don’t know if I’m channeling the wrong energies into it or saying the wrong words or what, but I just don’t think you can help.”

“I disagree,” Patton said. “Because I think I know why it isn’t working.”

“What?” Virgil asked, completely caught off guard. Was the problem that obvious that someone as rudimentary in magic as Patton could tell from next to no information. It couldn’t be, could it?

“Kiddo, the problem is this,” Patton said, motioning at Virgil. “You say it’s all about the energies, right? Well look at what energy you're channeling now. You’re upset and discouraged, and I doubt either of those are energies you want to channel into whatever spell you’re trying to do.”

Virgil stood, frozen in shock. That couldn’t be the problem, could it? But nothing else seemed to make sense. He had tried everything. Could Patton be right?

“Well, if that’s the case then how do you suggest I fix it?” Virgil finally asked.

“Listen to me.” Patton said simply. “Believe me when I say you’ve got this kiddo. You’ve been acing all of Logan’s lessons to the point that you already have to teach yourself! That’s something to be proud of! And if you can do that, then I have no doubt that you can do this, you just need to stop doubting yourself.”

Virgil nodded. He wasn’t sure he believed Patton, but he had to try. “Okay, yeah, you’re right.” Virgil sighed and picked up his bag. “I’ll keep that in mind when I try again tomorrow. For now let’s just get back to the others, okay? And please don’t mention that I was doing spell casting out here, I don’t want them to worry.”

“You got it kiddo!” Patton said, grabbing Virgil’s arm and leading him back inside with a bounce in his step. “I believe in you.”

The next day Virgil went back outside to try the sigils on Logan’s charm again. He still wasn’t sure if Patton was right about the whole energy thing being his problem, but he knew it was worth a shot. So, this time, when he worked on the sigils, drawing them as tiny as possible onto the small beads, he focused on Patton’s words. He may not believe in himself, but he could focus on Patton’s belief in him, and he could channel that energy. Suddenly, Virgil felt magic surge in the charm, and his face broke out into the widest smile he had worn in days. It had worked.

That night Virgil was laying in bed with Roman and Logan again, and, big surprise, he was refusing to let himself fall asleep again. He had been getting some sleep, if 3 hours every other night counted as some, but tonight it at least wasn’t entirely just his stubbornness keeping him awake, as Logan’s powers were working, in his sleep. 

Virgil had been laying, scrolling through his phone aimlessly as there wasn’t exactly anything new to check, when he had noticed it. The pressure in his chest. He had glanced up to see things floating around the room, thought Logan appeared to still be asleep. Virgil was about to wake him up when Logan shot up with a gasp. Virgil watched him as he registered what was happening and carefully lowered the items to the floor. After a few moments, Logan finally turned and noticed he was awake.

“Logan?” Virgil whispered. He watched as Logan clenched his fists and sighed. He was planning on giving Logan the charm tomorrow, as he had just finished it the day before and hadn’t had a chance, but clearly Logan needed more than the charm. He needed to face whatever was going on with him. Virgil wasn’t going to let him get away with this any longer.

“Hello Virgil,” Logan replied, gently brushing Virgil’s bangs out of his eyes. “Go back to sleep, darling. I’m alright now.”

Virgil sighed and sat up, deciding not to mention that he couldn’t exactly go back to sleep considering he hadn’t been asleep in the first place. “You’re not fine, and I’m not letting you get away with this any longer. You need to talk to me.”

“Virgil-” Logan started. Virgil waited a moment to give him a chance to continue, ready to counter any excuse Logan made, but he didn’t.

“Come on, let’s go outside,” Virgil finally offered. He knew he had to do something to help Logan, and he couldn’t exactly do that with Roman asleep on the bed next to them. He took Logan’s hands and gently unfurled them as he waited for Logan’s reply.

“It’s cold,” Logan protested. Virgil nearly laughed at the weak excuse, but didn’t. 

“I don’t give a shit. The hoodie I gave you is warm. Put it on, we’re going.”

Virgil grabbed his bag as Logan put on the hoodie. Once Logan had the hoodie on he gently pulled the sleeves over Logan’s hands, where Logan could grab them instead of digging his nails into his palms as he had been doing earlier. Virgil knew what he needed to do to help Logan, but he doubted Logan would agree to it, so he chose not to say a word as he led Logan outside, pulling him along gently by the wrist.

Once they were outside, Virgil wordlessly instructed Logan to sit down in the parking lot, before pulling the talismans he used for spell circles out of his bag. He set them at their respective directions around Logan, knowing he would need to be in the circle for his plan to work. He also made sure the bag was in the circle. Logan tried to get up, but Virgil pushed him back down before quickly casting the circle. He knew he could do the simple spell he needed without it, but it made him feel safer not to risk the voice, and also, it kept Logan from leaving.

Once he was done, Virgil sat down in front of a very confused Logan. “Okay,” Virgil started. “I know this crap is hard to talk about, so I’m not gonna force you to tell me anything. However, I am going to force you to deal with it cause I swear to God if I feel your powers building up for one more day I’m gonna scream.” Yeah, he had pulled that card. He hadn’t wanted to, because he knew Logan would feel bad, but at this point he didn’t know how else to make Logan let him help.

“I’m sorry,” Logan muttered, as he looked down at the blacktop. “I did not mean to burden you, or harm you.”

“No,” Virgil said. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault I have these stupid abilities. I wasn’t saying that to make you feel bad. I’m just trying to get you to listen to me.” Virgil paused to dig through his bag, looking for the sketchbook and pen he had stolen when he got the supplies for Logan’s charm. He had left his old ones at home, if he could even call that home anymore. He tore a page out of the notebook and handed it to Logan, along with a pen. “You’ve gotta deal with this, or it’s just gonna keep getting worse.”

“What am I to do with these?” Logan questioned.

“Write it down.” Virgil replied simply. “Whatever is bothering you, write it down.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.” Virgil had known Logan would want an explanation, but honestly he didn’t feel like giving one, because he knew Logan wouldn’t understand without doing it.

Logan looked down at the paper and wrote two words, “the nightmare.” He looked up at Virgil, and Virgil just stared back. That wasn’t enough, at least not if he wanted this exercise to be effective. Logan sighed and went back to writing. Virgil wanted to look, but he didn’t want to invade Logan’s privacy. He did however notice as Logan’s hands began to shake. After a couple minutes, Logan threw the pen to the ground, clearly trying to look angry, but Virgil knew him better than that, he was scared.

“Are you satisfied?” Logan asked.

“Yes, but we aren’t done,” Virgil said gently. He knew how hard this was. He knew how Logan felt, and he just wanted to help him feel better. “Now, like I said, you don’t have to tell me what you wrote. But if you want to, now is your chance.”

“I…” Logan paused. “Are you sure you want to hear it? Graphic would be a kind word for it.”

“I can handle it,” Virgil said, allowing himself a small smirk at Logan’s concern. “I don’t care how bad it may seem. If it is bothering you, I always want to hear about it.”

“It begins in a white hallway,” Logan started. He stopped suddenly as he took a shaky breath. Virgil carefully took the paper from Logan’s hands so he could hold them, to help ground him, but he was careful not to look at the paper. He would only get to know as much as Logan wanted to tell him, and that was okay. “There’s a man, and he smiles at me but something about it is unsettling. Next I’m outside a motel and I hear you all laughing inside. I blast down the door and-” Logan stopped talking suddenly. Virgil waited, giving him time to voice his thoughts.

“Before I continue, I, I need you to promise me something,” Logan asked.

“Anything,” Virgil replied without hesitation.

“Promise me,” Logan took a deep breath and sounded so small when he spoke again that it broke Virgil’s heart. “Promise me you won’t be afraid of me.”

“I promise,” Virgil said sincerely. He wanted to say more. He wanted to tell Logan that he could never be scared of him, but now was not the time for that, so Virgil stopped himself, allowing Logan to continue.

“After I blast down the door I enter and you all are prepared to attack me,” Logan explained. Virgil’s heart dropped at the idea of every trying to hurt Logan and squeezed his boyfriends hands tighter. “Dee is protecting Patton from me, Roman stands ready with his katana, and you have your pistol aimed at my head.” Virgil flinched. He hated that gun so much, and to think Logan had seen him, pointing it at Logan. He couldn’t even think about it. 

“Patton begs me to stop what I am doing, but I tell him Fove, Fove taught me who I am and my purpose: To hurt and destroy and nothing more.” Virgil’s eyes widened as he processed this information. Logan hadn’t been dreaming of them hurting him, he had been having nightmares of turning against the rest of the group. Virgil began to rub soothing circles on the back of Logan's hands, wanting to help him however he could, but not knowing how. “Roman charges but I throw him into a wall. Not hard enough to kill him but I surely caused some internal bleeding as blood began to drip from his mouth.”

“The scene shifts,” Logan continued, his voice even more unsteady than before. “I’m in a room, Remus is tied down and screaming. He’s in pain and I’m...I’m causing it. I’m  _ torturing  _ him, Virgil. He’s begging me to stop but I can feel my magic practically singing and I’m drunk on the feeling. Then I’m back in the motel room and my hand is around Dee’s throat. Roman tries to stop me but I…I use my powers and his katana to run him through.”

Virgil was trying to keep his expression calm and collected, he really really was, but this… this was not what he had been expecting. The cult killing them, sure. Maybe something bad happening to Logan’s family. And  _ maybe _ Logan losing control of his powers. But this was far beyond anything Virgil had expected and he was shocked. But he was also angry. So angry at himself for not forcing Logan to talk sooner, not getting the charm to work faster. He should have done more. He shouldn’t have let Logan go through this alone.

“Dee is next,” Logan muttered, looking down again. “He goes limp and I toss him to the side like junk. You scream and go to Roman and Patton tries to stop me from hurting you next but I throw him through a wall and...and he doesn’t get up. Then I’m back in the room with Remus and the man is there. He’s  _ proud _ , as I increase my power to feel the thrill and Remus’s back arches. He’s being driven mad by pain and I, and I don’t c-care. Then I’m back with you. I crouch down and take your face in my hands. You plead with me, telling me you loved me and I say...” Logan paused as a tear ran down his face and Virgil’s heart broke at the sight. “I say ‘Your love was misplaced’. I revel in the fear, the horror and the pain I’ve caused. Then I use my grip on your head to snap your neck. No powers or magic, just me. There’s silence and then I wake up.” 

Now Virgil understood why Logan had flinched that first night, when Logan had flirted and Virgil had made the joke about Logan trying to kill him. God, he was such a fucking idiot.

“So now you know,” Logan sighed. Virgil felt Logan pull his hands away, and a deep sadness hit Virgil. Never had he expected something like this. These horrific images that plagued his boyfriend in the night, that he had let continue. God, he felt awful. How could he have let something like this go on for so long? Virgil pushed his thoughts away, because he had to focus on Logan  _ now _ , and he pulled Logan into a tight hug.

“God Logan I’m so sorry I should have talked to you sooner. Those things in your nightmares aren’t you, okay? Never let your thoughts tell you otherwise. You would never do those things, and you wanna know how I know that?”

“How?” Logan asked as he sobbed into Virgil’s shoulder. “How could you possibly when you know what I’ve done?”

“This.” Virgil replied as he rubbed Logan’s back soothingly. “This right here is how. You haven’t done those things, yet even the idea of them scares you so much, because you care about us. This right here proves that you would never do those things. It’s just a nightmare, nothing more.”

“But in the dream I cared about you as well,” Logan said. “But my magic it, it corrupted me or something and I turned against you. If I could do that there, why couldn’t I here?”

“Because I’m here,” Virgil said simply. “Because Patton and Roman and Dee are here and we can help. Because we are going to help you.” Virgil knew it wasn’t going to be that easy to convince him, but he had to start somewhere.

Virgil expected Logan to argue. He expected to have to explain again and again that it was just a dream, and that this Logan, the real Logan, would never do those things. But instead, Logan didn’t argue. Virgil felt Logan grip him tighter as he began to sob harder into Virgil;s new hoodie, the purple and black patch one that Logan had chosen for him. Virgil held Logan tighter, wanting to make all the pain go away as Logan cried.

It took a while, but eventually, Logan’s tears slowed and his breathing steadied. Virgil felt Logan try to pull back slightly and loosened his grip, allowing Logan to sit up. He watched sadly as Logan wiped his cheeks before looking at the ground. Virgil couldn’t let him do that, he couldn’t let him feel ashamed for feeling. Virgil placed his hand gently under Logan’s chin and carefully lifted it until Logan’s eyes met his.

“There you are,” Virgil said with a small, comforting smile. “Ready to finish this little exercise? There is a reason we are in a spell circle. I promise I didn’t just do it to keep you from running off on me.”

Logan chuckled and Virgil felt a wave of relief at the sound. “Then what?”

“We are gonna show this dream how inconsequential it is,” Virgil said. He picked back up the paper he had had Logan write on and handed it back to Logan. “By burning it in some awesome looking purple fire.”

“I don’t quite see how that would be productive,” Logan frowned.

“Yeah, neither did I, then I did it with my stupid memories, and I dunno, it kinda helped.” Virgil shrugged. He knew he probably shouldn’t have just admitted that he had burned his memories to make them inconsequential, as that likely wasn’t healthy, but Logan was much too distracted by the events of the night to notice, so Virgil wasn’t too concerned about his offhand comments causing any suspicion. “I figure it’s at least worth a shot.” 

Without giving Logan a chance to object, Virgil scooted back slightly so he could cast the spell without accidentally burning his boyfriend. He held his hand in a fist, before whispering “fire” and opening it quickly, allowing bright, violet flames to lick at the air. He held out the flames slightly closer to Logan so he could easily reach.

“Go ahead,” Virgil said, a small smile on his face. “Burn it.”

Logan placed the edge of the paper in the flames, holding it there until it caught fire. Virgil watched Logan’s expression carefully as Logan tossed the paper to the side and watched it burn.Virgil saw in Logan’s eyes the relief, and even felt the pressure in his chest loosen as a weight was lifted off of Logan’s shoulders. Virgil smiled.

“Thank you Virgil,” Logan murmured, not looking away from the small remains of the paper.

“You’re welcome,” Virgil replied as he extinguished the flames in his hand. “Oh, I have one more thing by the way.” Virgil picked up his backpack and began to dig through it. He had so much crap in there that it took him a minute to find the small charm, but he managed to find it and held it out for Logan to see.

“It took me a while to figure out,” Virgil admitted shamefully, “But I think I finally got it to work. If you wear it when you sleep, it should keep the nightmares away.”

“How did you…” Logan started. He picked up the charm and examined the sigils on the beads carefully. “I didn’t teach you these spells.”

“Yeah, well,” Virgil shrugged. He couldn’t help the small smile on his face as Logan looked at the charm in awe. “I have my ways.”

“I suppose we all do,” Logan replied, then he actually grinned. Virgil felt his heart swell at Logan’s next words. “Virgil this is, this is amazing. Not to mention beautiful. You never cease to amaze me.”

Virgil felt his cheeks grow warm as he glanced at the ground. “It’s nothing.” He replied quietly, before glancing back up at Logan. “Anyways, I should probably release this spell circle so we can get inside before we freeze to death.”

“Yes that would be counterproductive,” Logan laughed, causing the warmth in Virgil’s chest to grow even more. He loved that sound, hearing Logan’s laugh. He hadn’t heard it enough recently.

Virgil got up after Logan, quickly going through the incantations to release the spell circle so they could return inside before anyone noticed they were gone. Once Virgil was done, he looked over to see Logan looking at him with pride. Logan held out a hand for Virgil to grab. “Shall we?”

Virgil smiled once more as he took Logan’s hand. “We shall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to leave comments and make sure to check out Salem's end of the chapter and the one-shot. Also, Salem is taking asks on tumblr, their tumblr is saibug1022, so feel free to check that out and go say hi to them!!! Sadly I don't have tumblr or I'd invite your guys to say hi to me too, but Salem is great and I love them and I highly recommend talking to them and sending them asks or whatever people do on tumblr.  
>  See you guys next week!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys aren't ready for this chapter omg. I am so excited to see your guys's reactions. Warning, it is over 17k so it's gonna take some time to read lol, but SO MUCH happens you aren't ready. Also sorry in advance. Hope you enjoy!!!  
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Death, murder, blood, self deprecation, lack of sleep, anxiety, injury, pain, panic attacks, anger, arguing, guns, knives  
> As always let me know if I missed anything!!!

They were all hanging out in the motel they were staying in in New Jersey. Virgil had reached his social limit for the day and was sitting on the counter with his earbuds in and his sketchbook out, letting his friend’s conversation fade into the background.

The door opened suddenly, causing Virgil and the others to jump, but as always, it was just Remus. He had a huge grin on his face as he flopped onto the couch, his head landing in Logan’s lap. Virgil could tell he was laughing. He paused his music and took out his earbuds in case anything important was talked about, but stayed on the counter, not wanting to push his limits, especially on such little sleep.

“I have abso-fucking-lutely  _ amazing _ news!” Remus exclaimed, sitting up and taking his head off of a flustered Logan’s lap.

“Language kiddo,” Patton sighed, sounding like he had just about given up hope.

“Is it actually amazing news or did you find another fucking snake on the sidewalk to give me that you know Patton won’t let me keep?” Dee smirked, sticking his tongue at Patton once he was finished.

“That was  _ one time _ !” Remus protested, before his grin grew wider. “But this is  _ actually _ amazing news! Guys, I think I found a way to end this thing!”

Virgil actually looked up at this, setting his notebook down. He had heard him wrong, right? There was no way he had actually figured it out, was there?

“Holy fuck, seriously?” Roman asked, sitting up from where he’d been laying on the floor. “How?”

“I found the spell,” Remus looked at Virgil. “And I know exactly who can do it. I just need to get it.” Virgil froze at that. Him? That couldn’t be. This whole thing couldn’t rely on his ability to cast a certain spell. He was still a mediocre spell caster at most. Whatever this spell was was probably extremely advanced, could Virgil actually do it? He wasn’t sure.

“Is that safe kiddo? Can you get that without getting caught?” Patton asked from his spot in the chair across from Logan.

“I could assist you in-” Logan began.

“I will be  _ fine _ ,” Remus said with a sigh. “Yeah, it’ll be dangerous and shit may go down, but I can handle it. I’ve just gotta come up with a plan.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Logan sighed.

Okay, this was good. This gave Virgil time, time to learn and practice while Remus planned, and if he couldn’t… well he didn’t want to think about that.

“Yeah Rem, do you even know what a plan is?” Roman teased.

“Hey! I’ve come up with plenty of plans since this all started. I planned to get Logan the phone, I planned to get Virgil the spell book, I can come up with another one!” Remus protested.

“What spell book?” Logan frowned. Remus glanced at Virgil, confused and apologetic.

Why, why, why did Remus have to have such a fat mouth. God damn it, none of them knew about the spell book. He knew they wouldn’t be mad, well at least he couldn’t think of a reason they could be mad, but he still hadn’t wanted to tell them, though he wasn’t sure why. 

“Oh, uh…” Virgil started, talking for the first time in nearly an hour. “Uh, Remus, uh, he got me a spell book with some… more advanced stuff.” God, why was he so worried about them knowing about this, it was so irrational, even he couldn’t figure out why. He just didn’t want them to see him as weak. He couldn’t figure things out for himself, he needed a stupid spell book, and with what was going on, that wasn’t good enough. He knew it wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t good enough.

“If you needed more advanced lessons you could have simply asked me,” Logan pointed out, actually looking slightly hurt. “Not that Remus’s spells weren’t helpful.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil mumbled, looking down. “I’m sorry… I just… I should be able to figure this out myself. I’m sorry. But it’s okay cause I figured a bunch of them out and I’m getting better and-”

“Virgil,” Roman cut him off quickly. “Just because the rest of us can’t actually cast, doesn’t mean we can’t help you. You don’t  _ have  _ to do it alone, my love.”

“But I do!” Virgil snapped, surprising himself almost as much as he surprised everyone else. “I… I’m sorry. I just… I should be able to do  _ more _ . This whole thing is hanging off of my ability to cast spells and… and I’m not that good at it. I’m sorry I snapped, just forget about it. I’ve got it covered.”

“Virgil how long have you been studying magic?” Logan asked. “In fact, how long have you even known you had the ability to?”

“A… a month? Maybe two? I dunno,” Virgil muttered.

“Exactly,” Logan said. “Virgil the level of skill you have already is extremely impressive for that time frame, and if you do not wish to take my word for it, I’m sure Remus will as well. None of the victims are in danger, there is no time frame on casting the spell when we get it. There is no rush.”

“Okay,” Virgil said. It wasn’t okay, not in the least. There was a time frame. A murder cult was trying to kill them, they couldn’t just sit around and wait until Virgil could cast the spell, they needed it as soon as possible. Virgil noticed Dee giving him a look and prayed to a God he didn’t believe in that he wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He was tired, physically and mentally, and he was done talking about it.

“I will vouch for that,” Remus said with a smirk. “How many of those spells have you figured out by the way? There were some pretty advanced protection and defensive spells in there.”

“A few,” Virgil said. He had actually figured out almost all of them, but he didn’t want the others to know how much time and energy he had been putting into this. He didn’t want them to worry.

“That is all we could ever ask of you,” Logan smiled at him with something akin to pride. 

Suddenly, Remus’s phone rang and everyone froze. They stayed silent as Remus answered the phone, everyone scared to move, scared to make noise.

“Hello?” Remus said. He was quiet for a moment as the voice replied.

“Yeah, this is Remus.” He replied smoothly, sounding completely different from the Remus they knew. This was stiff, and formal, and almost scared. That was bad enough, but then, as they waited, his face dropped even more. He looked horrified as his smile dropped off his face entirely.

“Okay, roger that. Thank you for informing me.” Remus closed the phone with a sharp click, before launching it across the room angrily. “God fucking damn it.”

“Remus?” Roman asked slowly. “What happened?”

“Orders changed,” Remus said quietly. “You guys are gonna have to move more frequently. I’m gonna have to visit less, we… we have to be more careful.”

“What the fuck do you mean ‘orders changed’?” Dee asked. “The only orders you had were to kill us. If those changed, wouldn’t they be to stop chasing us?”

“No,” Remus said, shaking his head. “I mean… they still want to kill most of you but… they want to capture the ones with powers. As of now they only know about Logan but… if they find out about Dee and Virgil as well…” Remus trailed off before looking up. “I won’t let that happen though. The false leads have been working, they will continue to work we just… we just need to be careful.”

“Why-” Logan’s voice broke and he cleared his throat to hide it, but Virgil noticed. God, what would this do to Logan? After his nightmares, this would just make it so much worse. “Why do they want me?”

“They didn’t say,” Remus replied. “But it doesn’t matter, because that isn’t gonna happen.” Then, Remus looked at Logan dead in the eyes and grabbed his hands. “I won’t let it happen. They haven’t caught you for weeks, and that isn’t changing, okay?”

“I-” Logan looked like he wanted to argue but he just sighed and squeezed Remus’s hands. “Okay.”

“Besides, they’d have to go through all of us first,” Dee pointed out. 

“Yeah,” Remus smirked, “And you’ve seen Roman with his katana. That shit’s scary.”

“Damn right,” Roman added helpfully. “Plus you could kick their asses without breaking a sweat, Jean Gray-Eyes.”

“Aw, cute nickname kiddo!” Patton said happily, clearly trying to lighten the mood. 

“I guess I don’t have all the time I need then,” Virgil joked, too quiet for anyone else to hear from across the room, as he was still sitting on the counter.

“I suppose it isn’t the worst I’ve been given,” Logan laughed half-heartedly, clearly still a little shaken. “It’s better than ‘Lo-Lo’ at least.”

“Hey!” Patton objected, faking offense, “How could you! That was a wonderful nickname!”

Logan didn’t even respond, just quirked an eyebrow. Virgil noted that he still hadn’t pulled away from Remus, and was actually leaning into his side now. Though Virgil didn’t like Remus, he couldn’t help his small smile at this development. Remus protected Logan and made him happy, and that was all that mattered.

“Not to bring the group down,” Roman sighed. “But we really have to figure out what we’re gonna do now. Couldn’t we just keep doing what we’ve been doing? I mean we haven’t been attacked since Lindsborg, and the only thing that changed is the actual goal right? To focus more on Logan than the rest of us?”

“Yeah,” Remus nodded. “But I think we need to find a way to stay further ahead. I’ve actually had an idea for a while, but I didn’t want to bring it up cause it could be kind of risky, but it may be worth the risk now, if it’s even possible.”

“Oh stop being ominous and just fucking say it,” Dee sighed.

“We could try to get information about Fove from the demon itself.” Remus stated. Virgil froze. What the hell did that mean? He didn’t mean he wanted Virgil to… no, he couldn’t mean that. Virgil couldn’t talk to the demon again, they wouldn’t ask him to… to talk to a demon, even if they didn’t know what had happened, right?

“How would we do that?” Logan questioned, an edge to his voice that definitely hadn’t been there before. 

“Well,” Remus sighed. “The Demon is in everyone’s mind, and Virgil could talk to it, so if Logan could get him in there-”

“NO!” Virgil heard himself yell before Remus had even finished. Everyone turned and looked at him in surprise. Shit. He knew he couldn’t talk to the demon but… but he didn’t want to tell them. And, if this would help, then he had to try. He had to try to help Logan. He had to keep them safe, and if this was how… well, then he had to try. “I… I mean… nevermind. Um… Logan, do you… you think that’s possible?”

“I’m not sure,” Logan frowned again. “I’ve never attempted to bring someone with me into another’s mind. I suppose we could attempt it. But if you don’t wish to Virgil that is completely understandable. We can find another option. If we could capture a cultist I could try searching their mind for information.”

Logan was so nice. Virgil really wanted to take him up on the offer. He wanted to say no more than anything. But how would they get a cultist? And if they didn’t get information, how much worse would Logan feel, knowing he was now wanted for capture? He had to do this. “No, that’s okay. I think it’s a great idea, definitely worth a shot.”

“Do I even need to say anything anymore or should I just come up with a signal?” Dee drawled.

Virgil sighed. God, would Dee just let him get away with one lie every once in a while. “Look, of course I don’t like the idea of talking to a demon, okay? But it’s not like I’ve ever even tried it before, maybe it won’t be too bad. Plus, this could help. Let’s give it a try.”

Dee gave him another look but Virgil glared back at him. For once he actually shut up, which was a beautiful sight just then.

“Only if you’re sure,” Roman said.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Virgil lied, continuing to glare at Dee. “So, when do we want to try this?” Virgil wanted them to say never. He wanted them to see right through him and say it was a bad idea, but he knew that wouldn’t happen, and he wasn’t gonna say anything, so he was doing this.

“I’m not sure about this,” Logan spoke up and Virgil fought the urge to go over and kiss the living daylights out of him. “There are many ways it could go wrong. Virgil could be hurt by going into another’s mind, or the demon could harm either of us. It is extremely risky, and I do not quite believe it to be worth that risk.”

“That’s why I didn’t mention it earlier,” Remus sighed. “But with this change… I don’t know, I just think we need to do everything possible to stay ahead of them.” Virgil knew he was right, but that didn’t stop him from considering, if only momentarily, punching him in the face.

“We shouldn’t alter our strategy just because one of us is suddenly more at risk,” Logan argued. “As Roman said, it is unlikely their methods will change, simply their focus.”

“But the person that is more at risk is  _ you _ .” Remus reminded him. Logan gave him a look that Virgil translated to ‘Exactly’. “I know it’s unlikely, but if they were to capture you. If I had to watch, and pretend to be okay with whatever they did to you.” Remus shuddered. “I couldn’t do it Logan. I need you safe.”

“Remus,” Logan squeezed the other boy’s hands again. “I don’t want to risk everything just for me. I won’t risk Virgil either.”

As much as Virgil hated this plan, he also agreed with Remus. It was the only reason Virgil was even considering trying to go through with it. “Eh,” Virgil said. “Go ahead and risk me. What’s the worst that can happen? I die and you don’t have to deal with me anymore? Seems like a win-win for you guys.” Virgil saw everyone giving him a concerned, and in some cases angry look. “Kidding.” He added half-heartedly.

“That did not help to convince me,” Logan deadpanned but he wasn’t leaning on Remus anymore.

“Okay,” Patton cut in. “So, I agree with Logan that this plan sounds extremely risky, and you know how much I hate you kiddo’s doing risky things. But… Logan isn’t the only one more at risk here. If they found out about Virgil’s powers, or even Dee’s-” Patton’s voice cracked. “They might try to take them too. I think… I think maybe it’s a risk we might need to take.”

“But-” Logan started. He stopped but he looked pissed as hell. Virgil was practically waiting for that feeling in his chest. Logan took a deep breath before basically ripping his hands out of Remus’s and standing up. “Fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go ensure I don’t kill my boyfriend.”

With that Logan left, slamming the door behind him.

“Well that could’ve gone better,” Dee muttered.

“I’m sorry guys, I didn’t mean to upset him,” Remus sighed. “Well, I should probably be getting back. I’ll let you guys know if I find anything.” Remus stood up and picked up the phone he had thrown, before giving them all a small smile. “Hopefully see you guys soon.” Then, he left.

Virgil sighed before pushing himself off the counter. He wanted to go check on Logan, but he wasn’t sure if he should. After a moment of mentally weighing the pros and cons, he decided to go check. He’d rather get yelled at by his boyfriend than deal with the voice ringing in his ears, so clear in his memory despite it having been weeks since hearing it. 

“I’m gonna go check on him,” Virgil said, before heading out the door Logan and Remus had both left, closing it much more gently than Logan had. He found him kneeled on the sidewalk, his hands on the forehead of a sleeping stranger. Virgil walked up to him slowly, taking a deep breath before tapping his shoulder gently to try get his attention.

“Hey Logan?” He asked, seeing if he could hear him. He knew if Logan was too deep in the person’s mind he wouldn't be able to hear him, but from what he could feel from Logan’s powers, he was pretty surface level. “Can… can we talk?”

“That depends on what you wish to speak about,” Logan said, his voice a little harsher than normal. He didn’t look at Virgil. “If you wish to reassure me of this foolhardy plan, then I can assure you your efforts will be wasted.”

“I wish I could,” Virgil sighed, not voicing how much he still hated the idea, but hinting at it. He just hoped Logan didn’t catch on. “I was just… I just wanted to check on you I guess. And apologize. I’m sorry for pushing you into this. I mean, I know the only pushing I did was a self deprecating joke, but I still feel bad, and I’m sorry. I just want to help.”

“Then don’t go through with it,” Logan pleaded. He finally looked up at Virgil, but his eyes were still blue and Virgil could still feel him using his powers. He wasn’t leaving the person’s mind, even now. “I’m not an idiot Virgil, I do not need Dee’s abilities to see you are uncomfortable with this, at the very least. So  _ don’t do it. _ ”

Again, Virgil’s mind was at war. He didn’t want to do it, but this may help Logan. He may be able to do some real good with his powers for once, other than a few weak warding spells and helping with a couple nightmares. He could actually help. He wouldn’t be useless anymore.

“As much as you don’t want to do it because of me, I want to do it for you.” Virgil replied. “This is a way I can actually use my powers to help with more than a couple warding spells and a charm. I have to try.”

“As I said before,” Logan said, his voice eerily steady. “Do not bother to reassure me. Now I need to go back to my task of making sure I don’t fucking kill you.”

“If anything will kill me it’ll be that damn voice,” Virgil muttered to himself quietly. He thought Logan couldn’t hear, but then he saw Logan tilt his head toward him again and panicked. “Look, I trust you, okay, just… let me know when you think you’re ready.” With that, Virgil walked away, not giving Logan a chance to reply as he nearly bolted back into the motel, launching himself into his bed and hiding under the covers, hoping no one could hear his sobs.

Eventually, after he had calmed down, Roman joined him in the bed, playing with his hair until he fell asleep. Virgil expected Logan to stay away, as he was clearly upset with him, but was surprised when a few minutes after Roman had fallen asleep, Logan joined in the bed as well, although he did not snuggle up with Virgil as he often did. Virgil waited another hour or so, until he was pretty sure that both his boyfriends were asleep, before quietly untangling himself from the net of limbs Roman had around him. He grabbed his hoodie and backpack before making his way outside. He had just set up all his talismans when he heard a voice behind him, causing him to jump.

“You have to be fucking joking,” Logan sighed. Virgil didn’t respond, not knowing how to react to being caught. He was so sure Logan had fallen asleep! He had been doing this for over a week and not gotten caught, how could he have neem so stupid. The two stood in silence for a minute, Virgil still facing away from Logan, before Logan spoke again.

“I hope you didn’t truly believe I wouldn’t find out,” Logan said. “You’ve been doing this nearly every night haven’t you?!”

“...maybe?” Virgil replied, his voice small in the night. He still couldn’t face Logan, not wanting to see the look on his face.

“I’m such an idiot!” Logan exclaimed. “That’s how you figured out the charm. Gah, how was I so blind?!”

“It’s nothing, I swear,” Virgil said. God, he hadn’t meant to make Logan feel bad. He finally turned to face Logan, though he was still looking at the ground. “You were having your nightmares and didn’t notice. I also didn’t want you to notice cause it’s not a big deal. Nothing compared to what you’ve been going through.”

“Virgil you’re going to magically exhaust yourself!” Logan said. “I had noticed of course that you had been more anxious as of late, but I’d attested it to stress, not that you were hardly sleeping!”

“I’ve been getting… enough sleep.” Virgil muttered. He knew it was a lie, the bags under his eyes and fuzziness in his mind reminded him of it every day. “And it’s not like I’d sleep even if I was in bed. Might as well be productive.” That second part at least was true. He wouldn’t sleep, even if he was in bed.

“I was going to let us make the attempt tomorrow,” Logan sighed, voice muffled as if his face was in his hands. “If you went in there anything less than fully alert, especially with any defenses in the mind I may not be good enough to see-, damn it I almost got you killed!” 

“What, no!” Virgil objected, finally looking up. “God, no! That wouldn’t have been your fault even if it did happen, but it wouldn’t! I’ve been functioning completely fine, my magic is fine, if not good enough, everything is okay, I promise. And none of this is your fault. It’s my own. If I was just good enough to get these spells faster, or to face those damn memories…” Virgil trailed off as he picked up the spell book and opened it to a page near the end of a spell he couldn’t figure out. “It’s my fault, okay!?”

Logan took a deep breath, with an edge of frustration that Virgil knew all too well meant he was barely restraining himself from shouting. “Virgil did it ever occur to you that I could block off the memories without erasing them?”

Virgil froze, fear striking him. “Wait, what!?” He exclaimed. “No! Absolutely not! I don’t care if you can, there is no way I’m letting you back into my head after last time. I can deal with it, okay!?”

“The only reason it even  _ touched _ me last time,” Logan began with a snarl. “Was because it took me by surprise and I held back for fear of hurting you as I wasn’t sure what it was. I can handle it, easily.”

“I-,” Virgil started, before lowering himself shakily to the ground. He knew he had to trust Logan, he had promised he would, but if he trusted Logan, then came the decision, did he actually want to block these memories? He definitely didn’t want to face them, that was pretty obvious, but did he really want to block them? To force himself to forget about it all,  _ again. _ Because, as much as the memories scared him, as many times he had been confused about who he was since he had regained them… they were still his memories. And… a lot of them were  _ good _ memories. He had been so happy for a lot of his childhood, even though he had struggled with his anxiety. His parents had loved him and nurtured him. Did he really want to forget that again, even temporarily?

“Okay, I believe you,” Virgil said, then sighed. “I just… I don’t know if I want to.”

“You wouldn’t forget them,” Logan explained. “Here: your memory center resembled a gallery, paintings representing your memories in an infinite hallway. I found your erased memories behind the painting of the car crash and uncovered them. However I never returned them to where they should be. I’ll admit I should have but I was still experiencing the pain from the panther and wanted to leave in case I passed out. However, I cannot be sure if placing them back would mean you lose the ones from your younger years. I will not make you decide now, I know how much you despise being put on the spot. Either way you  _ are  _ coming back to bed or we are not even attempting this ridiculous plan, no matter what you say.”

“Okay,” Virgil sighed. He was still so unsure, but he was also still worried about Logan returning to his mind, even if he was trying to trust him. So maybe… maybe there was another way. Maybe, if he stopped being a coward and faced them consciously… maybe he could sleep again. “Could I try one thing first?” Virgil asked hesitantly. He didn’t know if this was a good idea, but he liked it better than Logan returning to his mind.

“What?!” Logan sighed. Virgil didn’t even need the slight strengthening in the tugging that was present, as Logan was still too far to diminish it, to know his boyfriend was incredibly frustrated. Suddenly, Virgil felt even worse, this was a stupid idea, Logan probably wouldn’t even care.

“Nevermind,” Virgil sighed, starting to get up and going to pick up tha talismans. “It was stupid.”

The tugging began to lessen as Logan took a deep breath. 

“Wait,” Logan said. He took another breath and looked down at the ground, biting his lip before looking up at Virgil again. “I apologize, I’ve been rather...harsh. I shouldn’t be so harsh, I’m just...I’m frustrated. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’ve been, in Remus’s words, ‘a bag of dicks’, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s whatever, I probably deserve it,” Virgil replied as he picked up the last talisman and put them in his bag. 

“No you don’t,” Logan ran a hand over his face. “Please, what were you going to say? I want to listen to your idea.”

“It was stupid,” Virgil said. In the moment, the idea had seemed worth it, but now the fear had come back, and he had resigned himself to sleepless, nonproductive nights in order to prevent Logan from going into his mind again and to keep from facing his memories. “Let’s just go so I can talk to a fucking demon tomorrow.”

“No it wasn’t,” Logan shook his head. “Or maybe it is. However, and I mean this without insult, that you are not the best judge of which of your ideas are truly bad. So perhaps you should let me decide.”

Virgil sighed, before setting his bag back down and staring at it as he forced himself to speak. “I was… I was gonna say that I could maybe… I dunno… tell you about one? I’m scared though and you probably don’t even want to hear it, so-”

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Logan cut him off. “I would love to hear. And I promise not to be rude this time and actually listen.”

“Okay..uh..” Virgil paused. He hated reminding Logan and Dee of the tether, but sometimes it was just too much on top of whatever was going on, and this was one of those cases. Also, he kind of wanted to be able to hold Logan’s hand or something while he talked. He had always done well with physical comfort. “Could you maybe come a little closer though? And we could sit down. The… the thing.... I need you to come closer please. I’m sorry.”

Logan immediately walked toward Virgil as if he’d simply been waiting for Virgil to ask. His hand twitched but he paused, looking at Virgil with a question in his eyes. Virgil nodded and Logan took his hand, letting them both sit before he began to rub circles into the back of Virgil’s hand. Virgil sighed, focusing on the rubbing motion, taking a few deep breaths before beginning.

“So, I’m gonna start with a happy one, okay? Although it kinda makes me sad anyways, cause it reminds me of all the lies but…” Virgil took another breath before pushing forward. “You know I like Harry Potter, right?”

“Yes I remember,” Logan nodded.

“Right, yeah. But did I ever tell you why?” Virgil asked another question, procrastinating on what he was actually supposed to do, talking about his new memories. Logan frowned a little, but in more of an adorable thinking way than the angry way from earlier. 

“I do not believe so,” Logan finally said.

“Okay, well, basically, my… parents? The people that raised me the last four years? I don’t really know what to call them, but they read it to me when I was upset. They said they had read it to me before I lost my memories as well. But obviously they hadn’t, my… other parents, biological parent’s, did.” Virgil paused, taking a deep breath. This was it. This was when he told one of his memories.

“I was 9,” Virgil finally started. “It was about a year before things started getting… bad. Before my parents started training me. I had had a really bad day at school. I got bullied as a kid, and I had to go home earlier that day cause some kid had caught up with me on the playground. My mom picked me up from the nurse, and I was crying. She didn’t say anything the whole ride home, and I thought she was mad. But then, when we got home, she tucked me into bed, then left, returning with hot chocolate and a book, Harry Potter.” Virgil stopped as his breath hitched, his thoughts trying to pull him back to the lies he had been trying not to associate with the book that brought him so much comfort. Logan squeezed his hand and reached his free hand out to rest on Virgil’s knee, tapping out some pattern Virgil didn’t know, but he found it soothing nonetheless.

“She sat down at the foot of my bed and looked at me. She had heterochromatic eyes, like mine, but she had lighter hair, more of a dirty blonde. I got my darker hair from my dad. Anyways, she sat down, and she opened the book. But before she started reading, she said something. She said ‘The world’s not kind, even to good people. But that doesn’t mean the good people don’t win’. I didn’t know what she meant, but when she read me the book, I started to understand. Harry had a horrible life, with the Dursleys, and with an evil wizard coming after him constantly. But… he still won. She read the whole first book to me in the span of a week, then I finished the rest on my own. Whenever I’d be upset, or whenever I was scared after a magic lesson, they would read me parts from the book, and it gave me hope.” Virgil wasn’t sure when he had started crying, but there were tears on his face. He knew he had done it, he had told a memory, which he hadn’t even wanted to do in the first place, but suddenly he found himself unable to stop.

“They always did that, until they gave me away. Then they gave me to the parent’s I've had the last four years, they didn't tell me anything. They gave the people a potion or something to make me forget, and then they left me there, with no explanation. No reasoning for why they would leave the son they seemed to love with two complete strangers. But they did, and I… I, I don’t u-understand wh… why.” Virgil knew his words were becoming less understandable as they got mixed in with sobs, but he couldn’t stop.

“Th-then they read… they read Harry P-potter to me. And, and they… they told me they had read it to, to me b-before-” Virgil finally stopped as a deep, pained sob escaped him.

Logan didn’t say anything, just scooted forward so he could pull Virgil into his arms. Virgil wrapped his arms around instinctively, gripping him for dear life as everything came out. He felt Logan’s fingers moving on his back, not just aimlessly up and down, but in patterns like he always did when comforting Virgil. Virgil just leaned into his boyfriend, and let himself cry in his arms.

It took Virgil a while to calm down enough to realize what the patterns were, and suddenly his cries were cut off by a messy giggle.

“Are… are those pro-protective sigils?” Virgil asked, tears still flowing freely even as a small smile came to his lips. He felt Logan’s neck heat up in his tell-tale blush.

“Maybe…” Logan muttered and his fingers paused. “I’m sorry is that odd? I started doing it back when I was too afraid to try to protect you, so I could think at least a piece of me was and then it became a habit. I could stop if you’d like.”

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head in Logan’s shoulder. He knew Logan couldn’t actually do spells, but the thought was sweet, and honestly, it actually did make Virgil feel safer, though he wasn’t sure why. “Don’t stop.”

Logan let out a heavy exhale and resumed the motions. Virgil felt a slight lessening in the tension that had built in his chest due to Logan’s powers and smiled. He stayed in his position, leaning on Logan, until the tears finally stopped and he leaned back so he could see Logan’s face. Logan cupped Virgil’s face with one hand and smiled softly.

“Do you feel any better now?”

Virgil thought about it for a moment. He was still anxious, as to be expected, but he felt a bit… lighter. As if he had allowed Logan to take some of the weight he had been carrying since his memories had returned.

“Yeah… yeah I think I do. Not perfect, but better.” Virgil said, leaning his head into the warmth of Logan’s hand as his exhaustion from over a week of sleep deprivation finally hit him. “I think maybe… maybe I could try to sleep now?”

“I think that is a good idea for both of us,” Logan smiled. However neither of them moved, just getting lost in each other’s eyes as they relished the moment. After a second, Virgil realized Logan had started tapping on his knee, though softer than before. It took Virgil a moment to realize that it was a pattern. Considering the sigils, he assumed with Logan it likely meant something, so he decided to ask.

“What is that pattern you’re tapping?” Virgil asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the moment with loud noise. Suddenly Logan turned pale and the tapping stopped. “You don’t have to tell me,” Virgil rushed to assure, “I was just curious.”

“No, I promised I would stop withholding information from you,” Logan swallowed. He glanced down and took a breath before looking Virgil in the eyes, somehow looking more serious than Virgil had ever seen him, though his eyes were soft and beautiful. “It’s Morse code. It...It means...It means ‘I love you’.” Logan immediately looked away once he’d finished. 

Virgil’s eyes widened in surprise. He...he thinks he loves Logan too but… can he say it? He wasn’t sure he could, so instead he just pulled Logan closer to him, wrapping his arms around him, hoping he could show it. Logan reciprocated and nuzzled into Virgil’s neck without hesitation which was probably a good sign, right? They sat like that for a few more minutes before Virgil’s hands began to sink to the ground as he felt his eyelids grow heavy. Logan must have noticed this, because he chuckled to himself and shifted so he was on his knees. He maneuvered them both until he could get an arm under Virgil’s knees and lifted him into his arms. Virgil tried to protest, but apparently Logan was just as stubborn as Roman when it came to carrying tired Virgil. He sighed and gave in quickly, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck.

Logan carefully carried him inside and laid him gently in their bed next to Roman. He kissed Virgil’s forehead before disappearing again. Virgil barely had the energy to move, but there was one more thing he had to do before he fell asleep. He was bad at saying ‘I love you’, it had taken him a year to say it to Roman, but when he had said it, it had made Roman so happy. I wanted to be able to do that for Logan, so he did the next best thing.

His bag was still outside, Logan had probably gone to get it, but thankfully there happened to be a pen and paper on the bedside table. Virgil picked them up and wrote as neatly as he could in his tired state: ‘I think I love you too’. He drew a small heart under it and signed his name before folding it and laying it on the bed where Logan would hopefully see it. Finally, he let his eyes close, and for the first time in weeks, he was asleep within moments.

Virgil woke up the next morning with worries about the plans for the day beginning to make their way into his mind. Yet, before he could even form a coherent worry, he felt lips press against his, then against his forehead and cheeks and hands. Virgil giggled, not knowing what had brought this on but definitely not objecting. Then he remembered the events of that night. Okay, so maybe he did know why this was happening. He still wasn’t complaining though. Finally there was a break in the onslaught of affection and he heard someone else giggle.

“My apologies,” He heard Logan whisper. “Once I saw you were awake I simply couldn’t wait another moment.”

Virgil grinned as he looked at Logan happily. “I don’t mind. In fact, if I knew I was gonna get this treatment when I woke up, maybe I’d actually go to sleep more often.” He giggled as Logan swooped in to kiss him again.

“In that case I’ll be sure to give it to you,” Logan declared before kissing him on the nose. Virgil giggled again before he felt the bed shift as Roman woke up.

“Well I see Logan’s in a better mood,” Roman chuckled. “That mean you feel like sharing?”

“By all means,” Logan smirked.

Then Roman was cupping his jaw and kissing him too. Virgil smiled as he kissed back and Logan’s hand stroked his arm lovingly, his two boyfriends continuing to shower him in affection until they heard the door open and froze.

“I left the room for five minutes!” Dee exclaimed indignantly. There was some shuffling and a squawk of protest from Patton. “No Patton don’t come in here, don’t taint your poor innocent eyes.”

“You kiddos better be being safe!” Patton called before some more shuffling, which Virgil assumed was Patton walking away. Virgil felt his face turn red as he looked at Logan, who looked equally flushed and embarrassed. Meanwhile Roman, the bastard, was absolutely  _ cackling _ .

“Well you bitches have fun I’m gonna go to the store and steal some bleach,” Dee made a gagging sound before they heard the door shut. Suddenly, Roman and Logan swooped back in, continuing to kiss Virgil all over his face and hands. Virgil was giggling and kissing back when he could, but with both of them practically on top of him it wasn’t easy.

After what was probably at least ten minutes but felt nowhere near long enough to Virgil, Logan pulled back reluctantly.

“As enjoyable as this is,” Logan sighed before pecking Virgil’s lips one more time as if he couldn’t help himself. “I must attempt to actually assess the defenses that may be present. I was mildly, uh, distracted last time.”

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled. “You want me to come, since, y’know, I’m kinda part of this?” He really didn’t want to get up, but he knew Logan didn’t want to either, and it was only fair he offered to go with him.

“No you two stay and enjoy yourselves,” Logan smirked. He kissed Virgil  _ again _ before he finally managed to step away.

“Oh we will,” Roman promised and Logan sighed but left the room.

“I feel bad, I should have gone with him,” Virgil muttered with a sigh.

“No offense but it’s not like you could have done anything.” Roman kissed his temple. 

Virgil tried to ignore the words, as hearing them said hit a little too close to home even though he knew Roman didn’t mean it the way his mind told him he did. So instead he just gave Roman an unimpressed look and a smirk. Then Roman smirked back and Virgil got the feeling he was about to regret his life decisions. The next thing he knew Roman had thrown a leg over Virgil and was straddling him. Virgil gasped and blinked in surprise, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He felt his face turn even more red as he looked up at his boyfriend, smiling down at him.

Roman leaned down so his lips were a hair’s breadth from Virgil’s.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” Roman murmured against Virgil’s lips. “Focus on me.”

“Okay,” Virgil sighed, closing the microscopic distance between their lips with a smile.

Roman hummed in delight and pressed forward. He finally moved his hands, too. One hand cupped Virgil’s face so the tips of his fingers were in his hair, and the other held Virgil’s hand tightly. Roman bit Virgil’s lip and Virgil reached up and tangled his hands in Roman’s hair to pull him closer. Roman’s lips taste like vanilla and Virgil craved it in the split-second Roman pulled back to breathe. Roman began to tug at the edges of Virgil’s hoodie before pausing.

“Is this okay?” Roman asked, his voice rough and breathless. 

Normally, Virgil would say no. His hoodie made him feel safe, and letting someone else take it from him felt wrong. But with Roman, he didn’t need the hoodie to feel safe. He nodded and Roman didn’t hesitate again. He sat up and helped Virgil take it off, tossing it carelessly to the side. Then Roman took his shirt off and Virgil completely short-circuited. He grabbed Roman’s shirt from his hands and threw it across the room as his breath hitched. He took in his dark muscular chest scattered with freckles. There were a couple scars, probably from Roman’s training, that just reminded Virgil of how strong his boyfriend was and he felt a swell of love and pride in his chest. He felt his face heat up as he forced his eyes back up to meet Roman’s and was met with a smirk.

“And here I was feeling a little self-conscious,” Roman purred. 

“Nope, not allowed,” Virgil replied quietly, tracing Roman’s scars lightly with his fingers.

“Well if you enjoy it that much,” Roman teased.

“Oh my God,” Virgil groaned. “Just shut up and kiss me, Princey.”

Roman had the nerve to laugh before he swooped back down and crashed their lips back together and Virgil totally didn’t moan. And Roman’s giggle wasn’t proof he did either. One of Virgil’s hands moved from Roman’s hair to his back, pulling him impossibly closer as he felt the heat radiating off of Roman’s body. Roman’s tongue swiped across Virgil’s lip and Virgil didn’t even hesitate to open his mouth for him. It didn’t go much farther than that though, as their kisses slowly lost their fervor. Eventually they were just pecks along with a lot of giggling. Roman gave Virgil one last kiss before rolling off of him with a sigh.

“Well then,” Roman said and burst into laughter again. “I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.’

Virgil laughed too, a deep, real laugh, one he hadn’t had a reason to give in a long time. “Yes, I did,” He said as his laughing slowed enough for him to speak. “Thank you for… not pushing for more.”

“I’m never gonna get you to do something you aren’t ready for,” Roman promised, reaching over to take his hand. “Plus I don’t think I’m quite there either. Now, why don’t you go back to the others, and I’m going to try and find my shirt.”

Virgil laughed again as he pushed himself off the bed and went to retrieve his hoodie. He turned and gave Roman one last peck on the lips before leaving the room, unable to keep the smile off his face.

When he left the room he found Dee on the couch with Patton in his lap, with Logan standing near the door, holding Virgil’s bag. Logan sighed and came over to Virgil, silently reaching out and fixing his hair, causing Virgil to flush.

“So were you safe?” Dee snarked and Logan actually cracked his smile. Virgil considered taking back the note from his traitorous boyfriend, but hid his even redder face in Logan’s chest anyways.

“Why do you have my bag?” Virgil instead asked Logan, not commenting on Dee and Patton’s positions because death by giant knife was not how he wanted to go. Also, he was not going to dignify Dee’s question with a response. 

“After research and conferring with Remus I determined a method for you to enter someone’s mind,” Logan said.

“...okay?” Virgil asked hesitantly. He had been trying not to think of the logistics of it all, not wanting to think about it in the first place. He didn’t want to allow the memory of that horrid voice to infiltrate his mind anymore than it had to. But now he didn’t have a choice.

“I know of a spell that would temporarily bind your soul to mine,” Logan explained with the same air of someone talking about the weather. “Then you would astral project so that when my soul enters another’s body your soul will follow.”

“So, you kiddos are getting temporarily married?” Patton asked with a grin. “That’s so cute!”

“What?!” Logan squeaked. He was blushing so much the pink had risen over the collar of his jacket and his ears were red. “No!”

Again deciding to ignore the comments coming from the brothers' side of the room and focus on the task at hand, Virgil spoke to Logan. “You want me to fucking what!?”

“I want you to cast a spell and astral project,” Logan repeated, his voice still a little high. “If you want to accomplish that we will need to find a better place to connect with the natural energy.”

“You realize I have never done anything anywhere  _ near _ that advanced before, right?” Virgil asked frantically, beginning to panic. “What makes you think I could pull something like that off?”

“You seemed to be rapidly nearing the end of the spellbook Remus gave you,” Logan answered.

“That… that doesn’t prove anything! Those are completely different kinds of spells then what you’re asking me to do! I need… I need to practice and… I don't fucking know, be at least a little prepared!” Virgil protested, his panic slowly becoming more evident in his voice despite his attempts to hide it.

“Why?” Logan asked. “It may be a different concept, but the spells you need to perform are simply a connection to magical energy, which you have naturally and have been strengthening as you practiced.”

“I-” Virgil started. He found himself looking around frantically for an escape as his fight-or-flight reflexes kicked in, despite knowing there wasn’t one. He had to do this, no matter how much it was freaking him out.

“Virgil I am going to remind you once again we do not have to do this,” Logan sighed. He seemed nonchalant but Virgil knew better as he saw the pleading look in Logan’s eyes. “It was dangerous before and that factor...that factor has only increased.”

“No…” Virgil said. “No, no we have to do this. I can do this. It’ll be fine. I’m fine. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen, I mess up the spell? That couldn’t be too bad, right?” Virgil realized he was rambling and bit his lip to shut himself up.

“Your soul-” Logan started before looking over at the brothers. He stepped forward and took Virgil’s hand, lowering his voice. “If you do this wrong your soul could be permanently severed from your body. Or pieces could. Not to mention the dangers of you entering someone’s mind without my abilities, I-” Logan closed his eyes suddenly but the feeling in Virgil’s chest told him all he needed to know. “This is the only way I could find and it’s even more dangerous than before, Virgil. Please.”

“But we need the information,” Virgil reminded Logan gently, trying to keep himself calm so he could help Logan, despite the internal war he was fighting over whether or not this whole thing was really worth it. It had to be worth it, for Logan. “Here, let me see the spells, okay? Let me see how they work and see if I think I can do them, okay?”

Logan reluctantly pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to Virgil. Virgil took it and unfolded it slowly to examine the spell.

The soul binding spell was first in the plan, so Virgil looked at it first. It would take a lot of energy, and a couple sigils, one that he would have to draw on both him and Logan. It was definitely complex but… it looked doable. Once Virgil came to that conclusion he looked at the part about astral projecting. It would also take a couple sigils, one of which was required to keep himself grounded to his body, or else, as Logan had said, his could could be permanently disconnected from his body. That would suck. It wasn’t too complicated of a sigil though, and as long as he got that one right, any other consequences wouldn’t be too severe. Virgil nodded slowly.

“I think I can do this,” He said with false confidence. “And even if I mess up, as long as I get the grounding sigil right it should be okay. And that one isn’t too complicated. It’ll be okay.” He hoped he sounded like he was trying to reassure Logan, despite that fact that his words were as much for himself as they were for his boyfriend. His mind wandered to what would happen if this did work, if he did talk to… to the demon. He pushed the thought from his mind as he refocused on the spells. One thing at a time. Logan sighed and leaned down to rest his forehead against Virgil’s, eyes still closed.

“I still hate this,” Logan said. “I think this plan is foolish and full of unnecessary risks. But I also know you will try it with or without me, so I will go along to make sure you don’t get yourself killed. But I won’t be happy about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said. “I know it’s risky, but it’s the best way I can help you, and the rest of the group. I have to try.”

“The fact that you are doing it for me only makes it worse,” Logan muttered.

“What else am I supposed to do? It’s not like you do anything for yourself, I’ve gotta balance the scales somehow,” Virgil joked, although he was only half joking. Seriously, his boyfriend had to get his shit together and help himself at some point or Virgil was gonna scream.

“You are an awful, hypocritical person,” Logan accused.

“Yeah, says you,” Virgil snarked back, glad for the slightly more light hearted banter to distract from his fear and Logan’s powers that he could feel building up in his chest throughout their conversation.

“Hey, kiddos,” Patton spoke up from behind Virgil. Virgil flinched a little as he had forgotten they were there. “I don’t wanna break up this little moment, but if you guys are gonna do this today you really should probably get going. We still need to relocate today as well once you guys are done.”

“Very well,” Logan sighed and pulled away from Virgil. Virgil’s arms tightened around Logan for a moment and Logan hesitated, before he let them drop, embarrassed. He had to get his shit together, he was the one that had convinced Logan to do this after all. Logan leaned down and kissed Virgil’s hair. “Let’s get this over with.”

Logan grabbed Virgil’s hand and Virgil gripped back tightly, probably too tightly, but Logan didn’t say anything. Logan led him out the door and to the car. Virgil went to drive, but Logan just glared at him, and Virgil gave in, heading to the passenger side. It wasn’t a long drive, maybe 10 minutes, before they pulled up to a park and got out of the car.

“This was the largest park in the area,” Logan told him. “Use your abilities, I’m not sure where the optimal location would be.”

Virgil nodded and reached out with his abilities, searching for the highest levels of energies (other than Logan). He began wandering slowly, taking his time to really sense the energy from the elements. He knew he would need a lot of it to get this right. After a few minutes, he stopped, feeling the warm sensation in him reach a climax. Lucky for them, there was also a person asleep on a bench just a few feet away. 

“Here,” Virgil said with a nod. “This is the place.”

“Then let us begin with the spell,” Logan said, taking one of the talismans out of Virgil’s bag which Virgil was only just now realizing he still had. Virgil followed Logan’s lead, grabbing another one of the talismans and placing it in its location until they had them all set in their respective directions.

It took Virgil a little longer to get the spell circle right, as his anxiety was higher than it normally was when he was doing this, but he still got it eventually. Once the purple light was glowing, Virgil pulled out his marker, chalk, and the spell, then sat on the ground.

“Sit here,” Virgil instructed, motioning to the spot on the sidewalk in front of him. Logan was narrowing his eyes at him but he kneeled down in front of Virgil anyway.

“Okay,” Virgil muttered, rereading the spell again. “First I’ve gotta draw a couple binding and protection sigils around us so just… stay there, okay?” Virgil hoped Logan couldn’t tell how nervous he was as he shifted to draw the first sigil on the chalk. He drew it then very quickly realized it hadn’t worked. He was letting his anxiety get the best of him. With a sigh, he rubbed the chalk off the sidewalk as much as he could, and tried to think of more positive, self encouraging things, but failed. He didn’t want to ask for Logan’s help, but at this point he didn’t know what else to do. If he didn’t get his own energies under control, there was no way he would be able to do this.

“I… could you help me out?” Virgil asked reluctantly.

“I thought we established that would be a horrible idea,” Logan frowned.

“No, I… I don’t need you to do magic. I… I need…” Virgil trailed off. He thought of how much Patton’s words had helped him get the sigils right for Logan, but what kind of person asked someone to tell them that they were good at something? That would just be rude, and it would sound like he was fishing for compliments. It was a stupid idea, he would just figure it out on his own. “Nevermind.” Virgil mumbled.

“Virgil we’ve been over this,” Logan said, reaching out and cupping Virgil’s face with one hand. “Talk to me. What do you need me to do?”

“I just… I need help getting the energies right.” Virgil started. “When I was working on your charm, Patton ran into me and figured out what was wrong. I was letting my anxieties get in the way and… and he said some nice and encouraging things and… it helped. I’m sorry it sounds stupid. I shouldn’t ask you to say nice things about me it’s-”

“Virgil I would do that happily,” Logan replied, his smile so soft and encouraging Virgil felt himself melt. “There are so many things to say I don’t know where to begin. For one, you are quite possibly the strongest person I’ve ever met.” Virgil scoffed, but Logan ignored him and kept going. “I mean it. You’ve been through so much in only these last few weeks and the rest of your life as well. Yet it hasn’t broken you. It was not even a month ago you learned of your abilities, and yet you are prepared to risk your life to speak with a  _ demon _ on the off-chance that it might give us information we can use. You are always ready to help others no matter what you may have to sacrifice. It is an honorable trait, even if you may occasionally take it to the extreme.”

Virgil chuckled and took a deep breath. He nodded at Logan to continue, and he focused on Logan’s words, channeling that energy as he drew.

“The speed at which you have begun to master your abilities continues to impress me,” Logan continued. “You are not a master yet and I will not lie and say you are. But you are far beyond what one would expect you to be, and I sincerely doubt it is the result of your abilities. It is you, because you are capable, and strong, and simply amazing in every way.”

Virgil was moving through the sigils much faster now. His anxiety was still there, but now he had different more positive energy available, and he just focused on channeling that. Virgil drew the last sigil and felt the power from around them with a smile. He turned back to Logan.

“Thank you,” Virgil said with a small smile. “That… that helped a lot.”

“I’m glad,” Logan nodded. “And I will continue to say those things and more for as long as I am able.”

Virgil nodded, then glanced down. “It’s time for the last part of the spell. I… I need to draw on your hand.”

“Alright,” Logan shrugged. He took his left hand off Virgil’s face and held it out to him. Virgil took it gently and pulled out his marker. He glanced at the paper one more time, reading the incantation again, before he began to draw, speaking the incantation out loud.

“I bind my soul to thee” Virgil started, carefully drawing the first line of purple on the back of Logan’s hand, “Until I wish to part us. I give thee my trust,” Virgil paused. That was the end of the incantation, but it just didn’t feel complete, so he added his own ended quietly. “And my love.”

He heard Logan inhale sharply and his hand twitched in Virgil’s grip. Virgil quickly let go, looking at Logan fearfully. Had he done something wrong? Had the spell hurt Logan? Instead of pain, Logan’s face had one of the largest smile Virgil had ever seen him wear.

“That wasn’t part of the spell,” Logan breathed, sounding almost like he was in awe.

“Oh,” Virgil said. “Yeah, well… I just thought it worked better I guess? Was that okay?”

“Very,” Logan promised, his words lacking his usual formality. “It was very okay.”

Virgil smiled too, just looking at Logan happily before remembering the task at hand. “Shit, I’ve still gotta do mine.” Virgil said.

He quickly looked down at his hands. He switched the marker to his right hand, because he had to draw it on his dominant hand. He went to start drawing before realizing that he had to draw this  _ perfectly _ , and he wasn’t sure he could do that with his right hand. Suddenly he felt Logan’s hand cover his and looked up to see Logan holding the paper with the spell and the sigil as if studying. He nodded to himself and looked back at Virgil.

“I’ll draw,” Logan suggested. “You cast.”

Virgil almost cried in relief as he nodded. He felt Logan’s hand begin to guide his as he spoke the incantation once more. “I bind my soul to thee,” Virgil glanced down to see Logan guiding his hand perfectly, and a small smile came to his lips. “Until I wish to part us. I give thee my trust, and my love.” Virgil looked down to see the sigil complete, then waited, anxiously, to feel the spell take effect. Suddenly, Virgil felt it, he felt the magic, and he felt  _ Logan _ . He felt Logan’s energy even more potently than he normally did, but not just his magic energy, all of  _ his  _ energy. His intelligence, his selflessness, his likes and dislikes, his loves, his fears, his pain. He was one with all of them, he was one with Logan. Logan gasped and his hand tightened around Virgil’s as the spell took effect for him too. Logan had never felt anything like this before, he surely must be overwhelmed. He saw Logan’s eyes glow briefly and only got more worried.

“Are you okay?” Virgil asked carefully, not wanting to overwhelm him anymore.

“Yes,” Logan answered, but he sounded out of breath. “My apologies, I wasn’t expecting my magic to react to the spell. It overwhelmed me for a moment.”

“It’s okay, kinda caught me off guard too,” Virgil said with a chuckle. “Do… do you feel it too?”

“If by ‘it’ you mean you,” Logan nodded. He seemed to hesitate before saying something. “It may not be quite the same as I feel you more than I do your magic, but is this how you feel all the time?”

“Kind of,” Virgil admitted. “But, just the magic not… not  _ all _ of you like I do now.”

“How do you feel?” Logan asked, suddenly seeming nervous. “There are some ugly parts of me I was hoping you would never see.”

“I think you think you’re a lot darker than you actually are,” Virgil said with a small smile. There was some sadness and darkness, but it was all Logan, and it was all beautiful and wonderful. “I feel pretty good. What about you? We’ve learned how screwed up my anxiety can get with magic, is it okay?”

“There is...something,” Logan admitted after a brief pause. “It doesn’t seem harmful, but I can feel it there.”

Virgil’s breath hitched and he nodded “I’m sorry,” Virgil sighed. “I wish you didn’t have to feel that or deal with that… again. I’m sorry it’s my fault, I should just be able to cover it up or something so you don’t… so you don’t have to feel it too.”

“Virgil as soon as Remus gave me the spell I knew I would be able to feel it,” Logan told him, something sad to his smile. “I’m alright, I swear it. And we both know what covering up the negative parts of you can do. You don’t have to protect me from it. It can’t hurt me.”

“Okay,” Virgil sighed. “Well, I should probably let you out of this circle so you can get to the person, huh?”

“That would be ideal.”

Virgil reluctantly got up and opened the circle so Logan could get out. Logan slowly got to his feet and walked over to kneel next to the bench. He placed his palm on the sleeping person’s forehead and Virgil could have sworn he saw him wince as he raised his arm.

“Are you ready?” Logan asked.

‘Absolutely not’ Virgil thought, but instead asked, “Will it still work if I close the spell circle again? It’ll be hard to get the sigils right without it.”

“I believe so, yes.”

Virgil sighed in relief and closed the spell circle again. “Okay, I’ve gotta do this before you go into the mind, right?”

“Yes otherwise your soul’s anchor to your body will overpower it’s tether to mine,” Logan answered. “This is your last chance to back out. I fear I know your answer but for my own sanity I must ask once more: are you sure you wish to do this?”

‘Nope’ Virgil thought, this thought being strengthened by the reluctance and fear he felt from Logan through their current bond, and his fear of the voice finally rising back to the forefront of his mind. But he had come this far, he wasn’t gonna back out now. “Yes, I’m sure.”

With that, Virgil used his shoe to scuff the sigils from the previous spell so he could do this one. He focused as he drew. He drew sigils for protection, binding, and disconnect. It felt counterproductive to draw both binding and disconnect sigils, but he knew it was necessary. Finally, he pulled back out his marker. He had to draw this last sigil over his chest, to ground his soul to his body, and was suddenly very self conscious.

He glanced at Logan before taking off his hoodie. He tried to stretch his shirt so he could get the marker to his chest without taking it off, but the angle was off and with how important this sigil was, he couldn’t risk drawing it wrong. He sighed and glanced at Logan once more to see him studiously looking at the ground, his face red. Virgil bit his lip, trying to stay calm as he took off his shirt carefully, not looking at Logan as he drew the sigil over his heart, forcing himself to focus, as this was the most important sigil in both of these spells by far.

When he was done, he couldn’t help but look at Logan, who was starting at him. He turned even redder and quickly looked away when he caught Virgil’s eyes. Virgil wrapped his arms around himself self consciously and glanced at the ground.

“Stop that,” Logan ordered him. “I can  _ feel  _ your self-consciousness and trust me, it is  _ entirely  _ unnecessary.”

Virgil flushed as he threw back on his hoodie and zipped it up, not bothering to put back on his shirt. “Yeah well when you can get my brain to believe that, I’ll never say no to you again.” Virgil joked.

“Challenge accepted,” Logan smirked.

Virgil chuckled before becoming more serious once more. “The last thing I have to do is say the incantation, then… then you’ll go into their mind and I’ll talk to the demon… again.” Virgil barely realized what he had said until after. He had said it quietly enough he wasn’t sure Logan had heard, and he wasn’t gonna give him a chance to ask even if he had. “You ready?”

Virgil felt Logan’s confusion and knew he had heard. The confusion quickly turned to anger, then that faded as well and Virgil sighed, just hoping he wouldn’t say anything about it right now.

“Yes, do it,” Logan said, the edge from the day before back in his voice. Virgil wanted to apologize or… something. He didn’t want to do this with Logan upset with him, but he knew he didn’t have time.

“I’m sorry, I’ll tell you later,” Virgil promised, hoping to ease some of the tension before he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he began the incantation.

“Bind me to this earth and free my soul from this body,” Virgil started, clearing his mind of all thoughts except this spell. “Protect me on this journey, and ensure my safe return.”

Suddenly, Virgil felt as if he was floating. He opened his eyes to find himself standing above his body. His emotions were a mix of shock and fear and pure, giddy, glee that he had managed to pull this off. He turned and smiled at Logan, giving him a quick nod before he watched Logan close his eyes, and he was no longer in his spell circle.

Virgil found himself in an abandoned mall. The floors were polished and shining, and there was not a single finger print on any storefront. Virgil looked over and saw Logan standing beside him.

“Welcome to the mind, Virgil,” Logan said, gesturing to the area around him. “Now I would like to finish this as soon as possible, but I do not know where the demon would be. Normally I would simply have you lead the way but you likely have no ability to defend against any traps as you are not fully here as I am. So I will go first, and you will steer me.”

“Okay,” Virgil said. Reluctantly, he reached out with his abilities, searching for that cold, dark feeling that had come when he heard the demon last. When he found the feeling, he flinched as a chill ran down his spine.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked hurriedly, the anger bleeding away to concern for just a second.

“Yeah I’m okay I just… I found it, this way,” Virgil said. He pointed Logan in the direction of the escalator. Logan began walking that direction slowly, with Virgil following close behind. Logan paused a couple times to break through some sort of magic that Virgil felt but didn’t understand, but eventually they made it to the second floor. That was when Virgil saw it. It was a black, shapeless creature with bright red eyes. It was only part of the true demon, but as the eyes stared at Virgil from the window of an abandoned Hot Topic, Virgil felt his whole body tense. Logan must have seen it too as he suddenly stopped and held an arm in front of Virgil, shifting so he was mostly shielding him with his body.

Virgil tried to get control of his breathing as the eyes stared at him, not even glancing at Logan. He was shaking and he knew he was on the verge of a panic attack, but he had to keep that down, at least until after he had finished talking to the demon.

“That’s it Logan,” Virgil said, trying to hide the tremor in his voice. “That’s the demon.”

“We are not getting any closer than is absolutely necessary,” Logan promised, his voice much more even than it had any right to be. 

“Okay,” Virgil nodded, somewhat relieved. “I think I can hear it from here, I’ll… I’ll try.” Virgil cleared his throat before speaking, this time slightly louder, to the demon.

“Hello,” Virgil called. “We… um…” Virgil really hadn’t thought about what to say. Shit. Well, apparently he was just gonna have to wing it. “We are here to talk to you about Fove.”

_ Of course you are,  _ the demon said. The form didn’t have a mouth, instead the voice seemed to echo from all around them.  _ It took you much longer than I expected, little one. Trying to hide, were you? _

Virgil shuddered and hoped Logan didn’t notice as the voice reverberated through the empty mall, though he knew Logan likely couldn’t hear it. He felt the coldness in his veins as he stuck his hands in his pockets to keep anyone from seeing how much they were trembling.

“Well it wasn’t like you were very nice last time,” Virgil replied, trying to use his snarky comments to hide his fear, though he knew Logan could probably see right through it. He just hoped the demon couldn’t.

_ For what? Telling you the truth? _

“That-” Virgil started. He swallowed hard before continuing. “That wasn’t the truth. Besides, I have other things to talk to you about right now. What do you know about Fove?”

_I know you fear them. I know your little boyfriend fears them. What’s his name? Logan?_ Somehow the demon gave off the impression of smirking despite not changing at all. _Why don’t you ask him what he thinks?_ _I told you you were dangerous and he of all people should know how dangerous fear is._

Virgil froze at the mention of Logan and looked at him fearfully. Logan saw him looking and just looked back at him, completely confused. Virgil didn’t take his eyes from Logan as he replied. “Don’t you dare talk to me about Logan. Or any of them.” Logan’s eyes widened and he looked back and forth between Virgil and the demon, but didn’t say anything.

_ He’s why you’re doing this isn’t he? Poor little Angelo, so desperate to protect his friends. But you can’t. You know that don’t you?  _

“That’s not my name,” Virgil forced out. “And you’re wrong. You… you have to be wrong.” Virgil’s voice was shaking and Logan frowned at him.

“Virgil what’s going on?” Logan asked.

_ Oh listen to him. He wants to help. If only you could do the same. But you’re just Angelo Erikson, the boy who got his parents killed and the boy who can’t even protect the boy he loves. _

“No,” Virgil said, shaking his head. “No… I didn’t do that. They… they left me. They didn’t die… why would they be dead. I didn’t do anything to them!”

_ Of course you did. You existed. Your powers or “abilities” as you call them in a desperate attempt to seize control. Your powers got them killed. If you weren’t there we never would have come. We lost you when your foolish, cowardly parents gave you away but now I found you again. You’re mine, little one. MINE! _

Virgil wasn’t sure how he had gotten there, but he was on the ground, Logan kneeling next to him. “You don’t control me!” Virgil protested desperately. “You’re lying to me!”

_ I could be. Or I could be telling you what you always knew. Come on, little one, is it truly that hard to see? You can talk to demons, to me. No one else can do that, not any of the puny humans at my command. Just. You.  _

“No” Virgil protested weakly. This couldn’t be true, right? He had to be lying. But something in Virgil told him that the demon wasn’t lying. He forced himself to push that from his mind. He had a task to do. He had to get information. “You are going to tell me about Fove. Now.” Virgil tried to sound demanding, but at the demon’s laugh, he knew he sounded just as weak as he felt.

_ You, a mortal, are attempting to command me? A being composed of dark magic itse...well isn’t that interesting? _

“What?” Virgil asked fearfully. “What the hell do you have to say now?”

_ I only wanted to ask how New Jersey is this time of year. _

“How-” Virgil started, his panic rising. “How do you know where we are?”

_ Did you really think your little powers only went one way? You opened yourself up to me. It’s funny, actually. You see, Remus Oberon had seemed so confident you were in Connecticut… _

“SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THEM!” Virgil screamed. He looked at Logan frantically. He was still on the ground, his head in his hands and his breathing shaky. 

“We have to get out of here,” Virgil said quickly. “We have to call Remus. Now.”

Logan looked like he wanted to ask what was going on, but he just nodded as the demon’s cackling echoed around them. Logan closed his eyes and the next second they were back in the park. Virgil’s astral self collapsed to the ground as he reached to touch his body, reconnecting his soul to it. The moment he was back within his body, he looked over at Logan. He felt hot wet tears on his cheeks but ignored them.

“Call Remus, tell him he was discovered. It was my fault. He has to get out, now!” Virgil was practically yelling in his panic as Logan’s eyes widened and he pulled out his phone while Virgil rapidly worked to undo the spell circle, struggling to stand on his shaking legs.

“Come on, come on,” Logan was muttering. He paced back and forth in front of the bench and ran a shaking hand through his hair. He took the phone away from his ear and redialled. Nothing happened except that Logan said something into the phone. Based on his next words, Virgil assumed he left a voicemail. “Damn it! What the hell happened in there?!”

Once the spell circle was broken, Virgil immediately smashed his talismans without answering, leaving them in pieces on the ground. 

“Fuck!” Virgil screamed. “It was my fault! I got him caught ‘cause of my damn POWERS! The damn demon was right!”

“We can worry about that later,” Logan said. Virgil’s chest felt like it was about to explode, but he wasn’t sure if it was his own terror or Logan. “Right now we need to get back to the others and get in contact with-VIRGIL GET DOWN!”

Virgil’s fight or flight reflexes kicked in as he dropped to the ground. He heard a gunshot and flinched. He reached for his marker as quickly as possible, a spell he had learned for this specific instance fresh in his mind. He had to keep them from getting Logan.

Before he even considered going for his gun or any type of offensive magic, Virgil risked opening his weak mind to magic, enough that he heard the demon chuckle. He bit his lip so hard that there was blood on his chin as he forced himself to draw the sigil on the back of his right hand, as for this spell it did not have to be his dominant hand. He then made a throwing motion with that hand toward Logan as he still laid with his stomach flat to the ground and screamed “barrier!”

A light purple dome came up around Logan. It wouldn’t block his magic, but it would keep the cultists from getting to him. Logan looked at him with pure fury written in every line of his face which Virgil chose to ignore. He didn’t regret the decision of putting the barrier on Logan instead of himself. Once he was sure Logan was safe he scrambled for his bag to grab his gun and rolled onto his back to see one of the cultists standing over him. Without thinking, he pulled the trigger sending the cultist falling to the ground with a scream of pain. 

Virgil was shocked at his own actions, but didn’t have time to dwell on it as he stumbled to his feet and backed up against the barrier Logan was behind. He heard Logan pounding on the barrier and cursing up a storm, but he still saw one of the cultists charging him go flying backwards into a tree. Another cultist came at him and Virgil fired again, but they moved just fast enough that the bullet just grazed their shoulder. Virgil had to duck their first swing and they cried out as they ended up punching the barrier. They stumbled back clutching their hand and Virgil took the opportunity to kick them in the stomach and then punch them in the nose as they doubled-over, sending them crumbling onto the pavement. 

The next one was too fast and Virgil barely got the chance to see them before there was a knife in his shoulder. Virgil gasped and stumbled, biting off his scream, all too aware of Logan’s fear, frustration, and power build up. Black spots came over his vision as he felt his chest explode like it had in the alleyway, and the person in front of him fell to the ground, dead. He heard a crack as another cultist’s head was smashed into the pavement, and thumps as the other two got knocked into a tree and the bench, unmoving. 

Virgil’s energy left him as he fell, along with the barrier, to the ground, reaching to pull out the knife that was still in his shoulder, barely able to register what had just happened. Logan grabbed his hand before he could reach the knife. He tried to say something but couldn’t seem to get any words out so he just shook his head. Virgil obeyed, and while he grabbed the knife to steady it, he didn’t pull it out. After a moment, his brain caught up with what had happened. He had felt the sudden release in Logan’s power right as all of those cultists were killed, and he knew it had been Logan’s doing, but Virgil didn’t care. He knew Logan had just been trying to protect him, and he would tell him that again and again until he believed it. Just not right now.

“Remus,” Virgil choked out painfully. “Call… Remus.”

Logan looked like he was fighting a war, which he probably was after that. Not to mention he had to either help Virgil or call Remus. Finally he pulled the burner phone out of his pocket and dialled Remus again. By the look on his face, he still didn’t get an answer. 

“Fuck,” Virgil muttered under his breath. He tried to shift and hissed in pain, his hand shaking as he tried to steady the knife. His hoodie was absorbing some of the blood, but he could also feel the warm, wet liquid dripping down his chest where there wasn’t a shirt to stop it. “Shit, sorry, I’m okay we just,” Virgil winced again as he tried to get in position to stand. “We need to get back to the others.”

Logan once again didn’t speak, just nodded and slowly helped Virgil stand as Virgil tried to keep his muttered curse words and pained sounds to a minimum, not wanting to worry his already clearly freaked boyfriend. He wrapped Virgil’s good arm around his shoulders and began to walk them back to the car as carefully as he could which Virgil appreciated. Once they were at the car Virgil collapsed into the seat, hoping Logan didn’t notice the tears streaming down his probably very pale face. Logan practically sprinted to the driver’s side and started the car. 

Logan was speeding, and each bump they hit caused Virgil to gasp in pain, and Logan would go even faster. Virgil wanted to reassure him that he was okay, but as the black spots continued to dance around his vision, he knew Logan wouldn’t appreciate the lie, so he just sat there, trying to be as quiet as possible as the tears continued to fall uncontrollably.

After what felt like an eternity but was in reality was less than ten minutes, they pulled back up to the motel. Logan got out of the car just as quickly as he had gotten in and helped Virgil out of the car slowly. At this point Virgil’s willpower was draining and yelps and moans of pain were making their way out of his lips as Logan tried to gently help Virgil inside. He felt Logan tense against him and cursed himself for not being able to hide his pain better.

Finally,  _ finally _ they made it to their room, the knife violently shaking as Virgil’s hand failed to steady it any longer. Logan opened the door and froze. Virgil’s eyes widened as he saw what Logan had seen.

Remus was sitting on the couch, looking fine except for a couple cuts and bruises, and being tended to by Patton. He smiled up at them tiredy when the door opened.

“Hey guys I-” He cut off when he noticed Virgil. “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?”

“Patton help,” Logan pleaded, voice cracking so much it barely sounded like him at all. Patton dropped the butterfly bandage he was putting on Remus’s cut on his face and rushed over to Virgil.

“It’s okay, it’s not that bad,” Virgil said weakly as Logan and Patton helped him to the couch and he gasped in pain. As soon as he was sitting Roman appeared at his side, taking his good hand in his. Virgil noticed Logan run over to Remus and pull him into a hug the moment he was no longer helping Virgil, and couldn’t help the small smirk that appeared on his face despite his pain.

“You’re bleeding out on the couch but you’ll be fine,” Roman said. 

“Virgil let go of the knife,” Patton instructed gently. “Your hands are shaking too bad to be any help stabilizing it. Roman, could you hold it for him while I see how deep this is?”

“Of course,” Roman nodded and carefully peeled Virgil’s bloody hand away from the knife and wrapped his own around it, not even reacting to the blood coating the handle.

“Hey,” Virgil said with a delirious smirk as Patton looked at the injury. Yeah, he was going into shock for sure. “Dee, you want this knife when I’m done with it?”

“You have the sense of a stale eggo waffle,” Dee deadpanned. He was sitting on the arm of the couch next to Remus, very unsuccessfully pretending he wasn’t as worried as the others. He sighed. “Sure, if it helps you feel better then why the fuck not?”

“Good,” Virgil nodded then hissed in pain.

“You’ve gotta stop moving kiddo,” Patton said quietly. “You’ve lost a lot of blood and this knife is pretty deep. It would be worse if you had taken it out though. Can I unzip your hoodie to get a better look?”

“Sure but I don’t have a shirt on cause I had to do spell shit,” Virgil giggled, glancing at Roman. Roman didn’t say anything but he had a look on his face that made Virgil think he’d be facepalming if his hands weren’t either covered in blood or taken by him. Patton slowly unzipped the hoodie to reveal the faded sigil over his heart, which was covered in blood. Patton had to peel the hoodie off as it was sticking to his chest with blood, until it got to where the knife was holding it down on Virgil’s left shoulder and Virgil hissed.

“Dee, I need you to get me a pair of scissors please. I’m gonna have to cut off the hoodie.” Patton sighed, not taking his eyes off of the injury.

“No!” Virgil objected. “No you can't! Logan found me this hoodie! My hoodie! Don’t hurt it!”

“I’m sorry kiddo. I’ll help you wash it and fix it afterwards, but we’ve gotta worry about you first, okay? A hoodie is replaceable. You are not.”

Dee appeared at Patton’s side with the scissors in hand. Patton took them and gently began to cut Virgil’s hoodie, despite his protests. It took a few minutes, but eventually Patton had the hoodie completely off of Virgil’s left arm, allowing him to access the wound.

“Okay, we are going to have to take out the knife but there is going to be a lot of bleeding. I want to put some gauze or cloth of some sort around it so that I’m ready when we pull it out, okay? And this knife is a little rough Virgil, so it’s gonna hurt, I’m sorry.” Patton said regretfully.

“S’okay” Virgil mumbled, fighting to stay conscious. He felt pressure being put around the knife and groaned in pain. After a moment, he heard counting down, then screamed as the knife was pulled from his shoulder painfully. His vision went white with pain for a moment before clearing up again for him to see Patton to his left, putting pressure on the wound with Roman in front of him, Virgil holding his hand in a death grip. Logan had finally peeled himself off of Remus and was hovering worriedly behind Roman.

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled, realizing how his sceam had probably scared them. He had been doing so good at keeping quiet!

“It’s okay Virgil, it’s alright,” Roman hushed him. “It’s alright, sweetheart.”

“It hurts,” Virgil mumbled pitifully as tears fell down his face. Had he been crying the whole time?

“I know kiddo,” Patton said. “How about we get you some of those pain meds, this is gonna take a little longer than I hoped.”

Virgil nodded, before finally turning his head to look at Remus, feeling his eyes fill with even more tears. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Virgil began blubbering. “It’s my fault. He was stalling he wanted to hurt you I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“Shut up,” Remus sighed. “We can talk about this more later, because I doubt you’ll remember anything I say now. But just know it’s not your fault, okay? There was no way I was getting out of that without getting caught at some point.”

“Okay,” Virgil sighed, too tired to argue. 

“Here you go, Patton,” Logan muttered and held out the pain meds.

“Thank you kiddo,” Patton said, taking them gratefully. “I just wanna check your pulse real quick, then I’ll give you enough so you can go to sleep, okay kiddo?”

Virgil nodded as Patton put his fingers to Virgil’s neck. He paused, looking confused, before noticing how close Logan and Roman were standing and gave a small smile. 

“Roman, Logan, could you guys step back for a moment?” Patton asked.

“What, why?” Roman asked.

“Because your boyfriend is a gay dumbass,” Dee answered.

“Despite Dee’s _ language _ , he’s correct, and I want to get an accurate heart rate before he goes to sleep. Then you can come back.”

“It’s alright, I should probably go anyway,” Logan sighed before ripping his gaze from Virgil. He’d expected him to just go to the other room but instead he left the motel room entirely.

“Is he gonna come back?” Virgil asked worriedly, looking at the others as Roman also stepped back with a smirk, reluctantly letting go of Virgil’s hand.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure he’s okay,” Remus said before getting up to follow Logan.

“I want to finish checking you out when you get back, okay kiddo?” Patton called before Remus had left.

“Yeah, okay, sure,” Remus sighed before leaving as well.

Once Patton had gotten an accurate pulse, Roman came back. He had a damp washcloth and while he held Virgil’s right hand, he used his other hand to start gently washing the blood from Virgil’s chest. Patton gave him the pain meds, and he was just getting ready to do stitches and saying something about a makeshift sling when finally, mercifully, the pain faded and the world went black.

When Virgil woke up, he was in a pile of blankets, pillows piled behind his shoulders. His left shoulder was bandaged tightly and there was a makeshift sling helping to keep it steady. Virgil still didn’t have a shirt on, but someone had gotten him into Roman’s denim jacket so he was still partially covered. This comforted him as he shifted slightly to get more comfortable under the blankets, then yelped in pain.

Roman came rushing in when he heard the noise, and his eyes widened when he saw Virgil awake, still looking small and pale and weak, especially buried under the piles and piles of blankets. Patton had told them to make sure Virgil stayed warm, and Roman may have gone a bit overboard.

“Ow,” Virgil muttered under his breath as he tried and failed to sit up to see Roman better.

“Holy shit, you’re awake,” Roman breathed before rushing out of the room. He returned a moment later with a cup of water that he handed Virgil as he sat next to his legs. “Here, Patton said blood loss can dehydrate you and you lost a  _ lot  _ of blood. We got you a bunch of iron rich foods that Patton suggested while you were out and you were out for a while but Patton said-”

“I’m okay Ro,” Virgil cut him off, taking the water shakily in his right hand. Most left handed people were fairly good at doing things with their right hands, as most things are made for right handed people, but Virgil was just the idiot whose non-dominant hand just never cooperated. Roman helped steady his hand as he brought it up to his lips and took a small sip, before realizing just how thirsty he was and downing the whole thing. He tried sitting up again and noticed how light headed he was as well, probably also from the blood loss. He exhaled heavily and relaxed back against the pillows with a groan.

The demon’s words had haunted his dreams as he had slept, and continued to haunt him awake. 

_ The boy who can’t even protect the boy he loves. _

_ Your powers got them killed. _

_ Poor little Angelo, so desperate to protect his friends. But you can’t. You know that don’t you? _

_ Angelo Erikson _

The demon had called him by his given name. He had confirmed all of Virgil’s worst fears. He had told Virgil his biological parents were dead. He had killed them. He didn’t know if it was true, but something told him it was. And then he had failed to protect Logan, getting himself hurt and allowing Logan to let his powers build up too long. Logan would never forgive him. And he had told Roman he wouldn’t scare him like this again. He had failed Roman too. He had failed them all. He couldn’t protect them.

Roman must have noticed the vacant look in Virgil’s eyes as his thoughts drifted, because he grabbed Virgil’s hands, using physical touch to ground Virgil while he spoke. “Well something isn’t okay. What uh, what happened? And are you sure you’re actually okay? I don’t just mean physically, by the way.”

“I-” Virgil started. He knew talking to Roman would help. He knew hearing someone else remind him that these were just anxieties and that they didn’t know if any of it was true would help. But he just couldn’t voice it. Not yet. So, he asked about something else. “What happened with Remus? He wasn’t answering our calls. After the demon figured him out, we were really worried.”

“Well he already knew where the spell was,” Roman sighed, clearly noticing Virgil’s change in the subject. “He just didn’t know how to get in without getting caught, but with Logan’s voicemail he realized that wasn’t really an issue so he went for it. He got in a few scuffles, hence the injuries, but mostly got away okay. So yeah we have the spell now, but you’re definitely not working on it till your arm is healed.”

“My arm is  _ fine _ ,” Virgil sighed. He went to shift his left arm to prove his point then yelped as his eyes filled with tears. Roman gave him a look and Virgil glared back at him. “Shut up.”

“You should know me better than that by now,” Roman argued. “But thank you for proving my point.”

“Can I at least look at the spell to see what I’ll have-” Virgil cut himself off, the demon’s voice infiltrating his thoughts once more, reminding him of all of the harm his magic caused. “Nevermind, I don’t want to see it. Maybe we can just find someone else to cast it since I can’t right now?”

“No one else can cast though?” Roman stated, but it sounded more like a question. “As far as we know at least, and even then it’ll take them forever to get to the level they need to be. You know this.”

“Yeah I know I’m sorry I’m just being an idiot. I just… need a little break from magic I guess. But it’s okay. I’ll get that when this is over. I’ll never have to use magic again. I’ll never hurt anyone again.” Virgil was rambling and words he didn’t want to say just kept spilling out. He knew Roman would ask and he knew he would talk but he was so scared. What if Roman agreed with the demon? What if the demon was right about his parents? What if he really was bad, if his powers, or abilities, really did make him evil.

“It’s fine to want a break but what the actual fuck are you talking about?” Roman questioned, looking genuinely confused. “When have you ever hurt someone?”

“He said… he said my powers are the reason my parents are dead. And they’re useless! I can't… I can’t protect you guys and everyone keeps getting hurt because of me! And my parents are dead because of me!” Virgil was yelling now and he didn’t know how he had gotten to that point but suddenly he was just spilling everything. “He said I was useless and a coward and that I was evil cause I can talk to demons. He said I was dangerous and he said I killed my parents and… and…” Virgil couldn’t continue as he began sobbing, still laying back against the pillows as he stared at the ceiling. 

“Well first of all that is the biggest pile of complete and utter  _ bullshit  _ that I have heard in my entire life,” Roman scoffed. But he still scooted up the bed and sat against the pillows with Virgil so Virgil could lean into him. “I’m seriously considering just forgetting the spell and fighting him myself. What is he, a demon? Psh, I think I could take him. Maybe I’ll challenge him to a dance battle, you know I would win.”

Virgil chuckled as he curled into Roman’s shoulder. But he still wasn’t sure he believed him. “But… what about my parents? How… how do we know he wasn’t t-telling the, the truth?”

“Well he’s kind of a demon,” Roman pointed out. “I don’t really understand this magic stuff, but I know demons. Remus had a demonology phase that suddenly is making a LOT more sense, but anyway we did a lot of research on them. A demon’s favorite thing in the world is to lie and manipulate, find your weak points and get under your skin.”

“Well I think he succeeded,” Virgil muttered into Roman’s shoulder. “I can still hear him, like he’s right there, just like after the first time. I know he isn’t cause I’m not letting him talk to me like I did at the airport or in the mind, but… he’s  _ right there _ , y’know?” Virgil knew he sounded like some insane idiot, but he needed Roman to understand. He had a demon that felt like it was following him at all times. He was  _ dangerous _ .

“Honestly no, I don’t,” Roman sighed. “But it makes sense he’d be getting to you so-” Roman paused. “Wait what do you mean ‘the airport’?”

Virgil flinched. He was hoping Roman wouldn’t ask about that, but it was too late now. “I… I accidentally opened myself up to him at the airport after you guys left. I was experimenting with my powers and he talked to me. A lot weaker than in the mind, but it was still there. That’s why I was so disoriented when I left. But I didn’t wanna tell you and worry you. I had it handled.”

“Yes of course you did,” Roman said sarcastically. “I don’t want to be a bitch, I swear, but is there anything else you just neglected to tell me?”

“I… uh…” Virgil started nervously. “Maybe?”

Roman took a deep breath but remained calm, which was actually pretty amazing and Virgil was so grateful for him. “Are you going to tell me?”

“...yes?” Virgil replied hesitantly. “I mean, I was kinda caught by Logan so it’s not that big of deal anymore, but… after Logan restored my memories I kinda… maybe… I kinda stopped sleeping? Maybe got 2-3 hours every couple nights instead of dealing with my shit and snuck out to practice magic instead? But everyone was so distracted by Logan’s nightmares, and I was just overreacting, and I’m sleeping a bit more now and not sneaking out anymore so it’s okay.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Roman said. “But you were being attacked by twelve years worth of memories, Virge, being confused and overwhelmed isn’t an overreaction. But you also could have said something earlier.”

“I just didn’t want to worry you guys,” Virgil said, then he glanced at Roman, “And bold of you to assume they aren’t still fucking attacking me. This shit is not easy to process. I've just… gotten a little better at it I guess?”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Roman shrugged with one shoulder. “But just...just talk to me next time or just whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed or...it’s just kinda felt like you’ve been hiding from me and if this is honesty hour I’m gonna be honest and say it doesn’t exactly feel great.”

“I’m sorry, I’m working on it,” Virgil replied. They were quiet for a moment before Virgil thought of something and spoke again. “Hey, this is a little random, but the demon called me by my birth name, and I was wondering… did I ever tell you what it was?”

“Uh I think so.” Roman’s eyebrows knit together as he thought. “Angelo...Erikson?”

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “I was thinking about it. Both Angelo and Virgil are part of who I am and… I was wondering what you’d think if I maybe took my old last name? I don’t know, maybe it’s a dumb idea, I’m just working on accepting all these memories and it’s hard to do that when I don’t see that person as also me. I dunno…” Virgil faded off, nervous for his boyfriend's reaction.

“Virgil Erikson,” Roman tried out the name. “I mean it isn’t up to me, like at all, but I kinda like it.”

Virgil nodded a little in Roman’s shoulder, trying to keep the tears from falling as he was just overwhelmed with all the love and support from his boyfriend. “Yeah. I’m not sure yet though. I just wanted to see what you thought. Thank you.”

“Always.” Roman kissed the top of his head. “I love you no matter your name or your past. I’d even love you if you decided to go back to Angelo.”

“Well I’m not planning on doing that, that’s a stupid name,” Virgil chuckled. “But thank you. That means a lot. And I love you too.”

Virgil heard Roman’s breath hitch. “God, I’m never gonna get used to that.”

Virgil smiled. “Yeah well get used to it, cause I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than Harry Potter.”

“Okay that is a lie and you know it,” Roman teased.

“Nope, not a lie. You can ask Dee. I love you more than anything else, and that includes Harry Potter.” Virgil was laughing as he felt Roman’s neck grow warm. Finally, it was his turn to get Roman flustered instead of the other way around.

“Okay, well, shut up,” Roman stammered.

“Revenge for all the times you and Logan got me flustered!” Virgil said as he leaned up to give Roman a kiss then collapsed back onto the bed with a hiss of pain. “Okay, I’m gonna need your help with the revenge though.” Virgil said sheepishly.

Roman chuckled and leaned down to Virgil instead, tenderly pressing their lips together. Virgil smiled and Roman pulled back slowly, a smile on his flushed face as well. 

“Okay, revenge over, now help me get up I wanna see the others,” Virgil demanded. “Also, and am I allowed to have more of the pain meds? They make it a lot easier to pretend everything is fine.”

“Fine but not much,” Roman said. 

“Okay,” Virgil said. After that Roman helped him out of the bed and buttoned up the denim jacket Virgil was wearing as there was no way Virgil was gonna try to get a shirt on right now. He’d probably have to steal one of Logan’s button downs later if he had any hope of wearing a shirt and not just a jacket. At the thought of jackets, Virgil looked at Roman frantically, remembering his hoodie.

“Is my hoodie okay?” Virgil suddenly asked, sounding more concerned about the hoodie than his own health, which, to be honest, he was.

“It lost a lot of blood,” Roman answered solemnly. “But we think it’ll pull through.”

“Was Patton able to stitch it up? Did you get all the blood off?” Virgil asked, ignoring Roman’s joke. He winced a little remembering just how much blood he had gotten on the thing. “I think it’s problem wasn’t losing blood, it was getting too much.”

“Yeah Patton was able to stitch it up. We got some of the blood off it. Actually I think Dee is stress washing it now, which is something I never thought I’d say. You know how stubborn he is, so he’ll probably be able to get it out. Plus if anyone knows how to get blood out of fabric it’s Dee.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay, good. I’m also gonna have to figure out how to get a shirt on, but I want to see the others first, so how do I look?” Virgil held out his good arm and turned in a circle, showing off the buttoned denim jacket that hung loosely off his thin pale frame.

“Like a tiny vampire,” Roman answered because he’s a little bitch. Virgil lightly punched him in the shoulder, giggling, before grabbing his hand and leading them out of the room. Each step sent pain through his shoulder, and once he was sat on the couch Patton quickly got him more meds before it was time to discuss what would come next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so....sorry???  
> Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. There is an interlude this week, so look for that on Wednesday!!! Please feel free to comment, we love reading them!!! Also, the plot is actually happening so yay for that, a spell has been found 15 chapters in...we didn't draw things out at all lol. Okay, I'm gonna stop rambling now I'm just really excited about this chapter and the plot to come, so I hope you guys enjoyed it and are excited too!!!  
> Thank you guys so much for reading, you're all great and I appreciate all of you!!!


	16. The Heist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! Here for the Remus interlude!!! I hope you enjoy seeing how Remus got the spell and why he didn't answer the phone!!!  
> Trigger Warnings:  
> Dad is a dick, fight shit, self deprecation, worry, knife, blood, bruise, lack of care for his own life  
> Let me know if I missed anything as always!!!

Remus had been talking with his father when his phone rang. He tried to blow it off, nonchalant, saying it was one of his idiot team members, and ignored it. But he never got calls from the team members. In fact, at this point the only things he used the phone were for orders from the cult and messages from his group of misfits. Key word,  _ messages _ . After they had called him the first time and almost gotten him caught, they almost always messaged him instead of calling. And it wouldn’t be the cult leaders cause he was here. Which meant something was wrong with his misfit group.

This was an emergency. 

Remus hastily finished the conversation with his father, barely registering what was being said. Something about researching powers and Roman being a coward. That was what it was always about with his father. Power, Roman’s cowardliness, or Remus’s weak will.

Once he was finally free of the conversation, he excused himself to use the bathroom then pulled out his phone, confirming his suspicions. He had 5 missed calls from Logan and a voicemail. Remus cursed as he put the phone up to his ear and listened to the voicemail, foot tapping nervously on the floor.

“Remus I don’t know what the hell you are doing right now,” Logan hissed. Hiding in the bathroom was the answer, but that joke didn’t even amuse him at all. He could tell from Logan’s voice that something was seriously wrong. Logan never talked like that, so informal and so angry. 

“You are going to pick up this damn phone so I can tell you  _ get the hell out _ . We went through with the stupid conversation and now the fucking demon knows, it knows you aren’t loyal. So get the hell out before you get yourself killed or I swear to God I will burn Fove to the ground myself.”

Shit. Fuck. Hell. Son of a bitch. Any other curse words that could be thought of flew through Remus’s head. He’d been caught. His cover was going to be blown any moment. But… he still had a chance. Plus, maybe it was worth the risk of being killed if he got to see Logan being that badass from the afterlife.

Remus had been proud of himself through all of this. He had managed to not only confirm the spell existed, but also find where the copy was hidden and figure out all of the guard shifts without getting caught and without having a mental breakdown in front of the cult. But he had been cursing himself despite that, as he had been unable to find a way to retrieve the spell without getting caught. 

Apparently that didn’t matter anymore.

Remus knew he should just leave. He knew Logan would yell at him for taking this risk, but he had to try. If he left without this spell, they may never be able to end the fucking apocolypse. They would be hunted by Fove for the rest of eternity, or at least until they died or the demon was satisfied. He couldn’t leave without this spell. He couldn’t leave here without hope.

With this decision in mind, Remus left the bathroom, keeping what he called his “cult facade” on as long as he could. He had to get as close to the spell as possible before blowing his cover or he would get serious beat the fuck up. He had to act calm and collected, and cold. Like he always did with the cult. He had to avoid detection for as long as possible.

There were 4 levels of security on the spell. This first level was the one that also went through to the library, so it was easy to get through. The second level proved to be a little more difficult, as there wasn’t much between that and the spell, so suspicion was going to be unavoidable.

“Hello Joseph,” Remus said as he approached the guard on watch. 

“Remus?” He replied with a frown. “What are you doing back here?”

Shit, he hadn’t thought that far. Whelp, guess it was time to come up with something on the spot. “I found a rat.” Remus said. Where the hell did that come from?

“...okay?” Joseph replied, seeming even more confused than before. “What does that have to do with you being back here?”

What was wrong with him? Where were all his good excuses and smooth lies that he had been using since becoming a spy. Oh, right, he didn’t have any. This was how it went. Every. Fucking. Time.

“We believe it to be a magic rat, but it has gone missing,” Remus said with a completely straight face, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of his lie.

“A magic rat?” Joseph asked. “Why was I not informed?”

“Well, we were not sure, and my dad didn’t want to look like an idiot, so he kept it under wraps. However, the rat has now escaped, and I was sent to investigate its location.” Remus replied smoothly. Right, this was how he did smooth lies. By saying something ridiculous then saying something even more ridiculous to cover it up. He was just very good at it.

“And you’re asking me to let you pass to search for this rat?” Joseph confirmed. Remus nodded once. “Okay, let me just confirm with your father-”

“No!” Remus cut him off, before regaining his composure. “I mean, he will not appreciate that. He would like it if no one knew about this… mess. Me telling you has already violated that, so I would not like to inform him of your knowledge.”

“I understand,” Joseph nodded, before deactivating the barriers and stepping aside. “Go ahead, just don’t be too long.”

“Thanks Joseph,” Remus replied as he walked through briskly, not wanting to give Joseph another moment to question what he had just been told. Remus was going to have to be more prepared for this next conversation. Or not. Honestly, Remus wasn’t sure he cared enough to plan ahead. It worked well enough with Joseph after all.

Remus walked down the corridor briskly, not even bothering to pretend that he was looking for some made up rat, until he reached the third level of defense with… no plan. They had a barrier and two guards. He knew he could get the barrier down if he fought through them and flipped the lever himself, but he had to try to convince them first.

“Hello fellow members,” Remus said, not remembering the man or the woman’s name but not wanting to admit it.

“What are you doing here Remus?” the woman asked with an exasperated sigh. 

“I…” Remus started. Shit he really should have thought this through. “I need to get through.” Remus said, internally cursing himself for not at least trying the rat excuse again.

“Why?” the man spoke this time, looking at Remus suspiciously. “The only thing back here is the spell, and you are not authorized to see that.”

“I’m looking for a magic rat,” Remus tried, but he saw their looks and knew they didn’t believe him. Fuck. He was gonna have to do this the hard way then. Before the two cultists could realize what was happening, Remus had swung his leg up to kick the man in the head, knocking him unconscious before the smaller opponent even realised what was happening.

The woman swung at him while he was still off balance, catching him in the side of the face. Remus cursed as he spun on her and elbowed her in the stomach before kicking her legs out from under her. Once she was down, he slammed his heel into her head, not hard enough to kill her, but hard enough that she would be unconscious for a while.

Remus knew that his time was running even shorter now that he had gone on the offensive.He thought to grab a knife from the man’s belt before pulling the lever and lowering the barrier. Only one last guard to get through, then he just had to get out.

He didn’t even try talking this time. As he peeked around the corner, he saw 5 guards, thought the barrier was the same, with just a lever to bring it down. He just had to get through the guards. He counted down in his head, thought he didn’t use numbers, instead using three words: Fuck. This. Shit, before darting around the corner. 

By the time the guards even realized he was there he was already slamming the heel of his hand up into the jaw of the guard closest to him. There was one more close to him and three farther away. The one near him swung his fist aimed straight for Remus’s nose but he twirled to the side, silently thanking Roman for all his stupid ballet lessons, using the momentum to slice his knife through the guard’s other arm. They cried out and Remus grabbed their head to slam it into the wall. He turned around just in time to get punched in the nose. He stumbled back and got punched in the stomach before he could recover. Okay now he was really fucking pissed. 

He caught the foot of one of the guards as they tried to kick him and threw it to the side to knock him off balance. Another guard darted in and Remus didn’t even bother to dodge them, the puny idiot wasn’t gonna be able to do much damage anyway. He let them punch him in the shoulder so he could be close enough to grab their head and slam it down into his knee. Okay that was three down. He didn’t let the next one come to him and charged forward. Just before he reached him Remus dropped to his knees and slid, coming up behind him so he could slam his hand into the back of the guy's skull. Just one more now, he could handle that easily. Remus smirked at the last guy but he was more cautious now after Remus had thrown his kick. He came forward first and Remus tried to swing his knife but the guard caught his wrist and twisted. The knife fell from his grip and clattered to the ground. Remus hated doing this, there were much cooler ways to knock people out, but he was gonna anyway. He used the guard’s grip on his wrist to yank him forward and headbutt him. The guard stumbled back and Remus darted forward one more time to punch him in the nose, finally knocking him out.

Remus wanted to allow himself a moment to calm down but knew he didn’t have the time. He picked back up the dagger and wiped his bloody nose on his sleeve before walking over to the lever and pulling. The barrier fell immediately and Remus sprinted through.

He found himself in a large, circular room. It was empty except for a pedestal sitting in the center of the room, with a softly glowing scroll floating above it.

Remus didn’t hesitate. He ran forward and snatched the scroll, shoving it into his jacket as he turned and ran. He sprinted as fast as he could, passing a very confused Joseph on his way. He ran through the main area of the cult, running past many members who were too confused to react fast enough to stop him, and he was out the door.

He threw himself into his dad’s car instead of his own out of pure spite, before switching it into drive and speeding faster than he ever had before. As the adrenaline faded he was beginning to feel the soreness from the bruises that he likely had, but he didn’t care. He had fucking done it!

Despite the fact that he was driving so quickly, he was still worried about being followed and didn’t want to accidentally lead Fove straight to his friends, so he drove around New Jersey for about 20 minutes, before finally deeming it safe to return to his group of misfits.

He had blood smeared on his face from the cut that stupid woman had given him on his cheekbone and his bloody nose, but he didn’t care as he barged into the apartment, holding up the still softly glowing scroll triumphantly.

“I fucking did it!” He announced to a very confused Patton, Roman and Dee. Wait, where were Logan and Virgil?

“Holy shit,” Dee breathed after a second. “Is that…?”

“Hell yeah it is! What the fuck else would I have blown my cover for and shown up looking like this?” Remus said, still glancing around concerned, but assumed they were probably just off somewhere being gay, knowing Logan and Virgil. Remus totally wasn't jealous at all.

Roman laughed in pure delight and before Remus even realized what was happening Roman had charged toward him and pulled him into an embrace. It hurt with the bruise on his stomach, but he made sure to hide that cause damn it his twin hadn’t hugged him in so fucking long. 

“Holy shit Rem, I can’t believe it!” Roman said. He pulled back far too quickly and apparently realized everything wrong with Remus’s face. “Jeez, did you get in a fight with a cinder block again?”

“Okay I HAVE to hear that story,” Dee spoke up, sounding way too eager.

“The way those guys fought I might as well have,” Remus scoffed. “You think they’d have some better trained fighters guarding the spell that would ruin their entire plan, but hey, I’m not fucking complaining.”

“Okay kiddos, while this is all really exciting, I’d like to take a look at Remus here, okay?” Patton cut in, motioning for Remus to sit on the couch. Remus rolled his eyes but obeyed as Patton ran off to get supplies.

“Well I guess Logan and Virgil didn’t have to go after all,” Roman shrugged. 

“Wait, are they still gone?” Remus asked, suddenly more worried again. Was Logan alright? “I thought they were just off being gay somewhere! Although, Virgil did have to take off his shirt for that spell, so who knows, maybe they are.”

“Yeah we haven’t heard from them since they left actually,” Dee frowned. “But with Logan’s badassery they’re probably fine. Right?”

“I actually heard from them,” Remus admitted. “That’s why I did this. Logan left a voicemail saying the demon discovered my ass and to get the hell out, but I wasn’t about to do that before getting the spell. That was a while ago actually…”

Remus drifted off as Patton returned. They all sat in a worried silence for a few minutes as Patton cleaned Remus up. His nose was not broken and he wouldn’t need stitches for the cut. So all was good. Until, halfway through Patton putting a bandage on the cut, the door opened. Remus opened his mouth to tell them that he had gotten the spell, but had barely gotten three words out when he noticed what was wrong. Virgil was leaning heavily on Logan, extremely pale and… and there was a knife sticking out of his shoulder.

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!!! Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave comments (I expect names for the magic rat)!!! See you guys Sunday!!!!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!!! Look at us, posting at a reasonable time on a Sunday!! We've grown so much!!! Anyways, here is another chapter, I hope you guys enjoy, and also please note I have nothing against tofu, in fact I am a vegetarian and love tofu, but I just wanted to mess with Virgil.  
> Trigger Warnings:  
> self-blame, self-deprecation, self-doubt, self-consciousness, extreme pain, yelling, talk of blood and bleeding out  
> Also sorry this chapter is literally like three times the length of Salem's, we got carried away with prinxiety lol

Virgil sat down on the couch, trying to hide how light headed he was and how much his shoulder  _ hurt _ . He noticed his makeshift sling was purple and had to smile at that, but despite that and the layers of bandages steadying his shoulder, the damn thing still hurt every time he moved. 

Once he was sat down Patton went to get him pain meds before he even had to ask. He noticed Logan sitting on Remus’s lap, clearly only half awake, and smiled. He had to admit, with the way Remus treated Logan, the boy was growing on him.

The next thing Virgil noticed was the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, and Dee was not in the room.

“Wait, I thought Roman was joking when he said Dee was obsessively cleaning my hoodie?” Virgil asked. Patton still hadn’t come pack with the meds, which was odd as it shouldn’t take him that long to find them, so Virgil decided to distract himself.

“Nope,” Remus replied, keeping his voice quiet so as to not disrupt Logan. He had a smirk on his face. “He might actually get it all out, which is fucking crazy considering by the time Patton got that thing off you it was more blood than hoodie.” Virgil winced at the memory, noticing the small amount of blood still dried under his fingernails. He wanted to try to get it off, but he didn’t think moving his arms to do so would be a good idea.

"Hey Virgil," Logan muttered. "You okay?"

“Yeah I’m good,” Virgil lied. He was feeling better after talking to Roman, but right now more than anything he just wanted to draw and listen to music and block out the world and get the blood out from under his fingernails so he could forget, but he couldn’t do those things.

"Tha's good," Logan sighed and snuggled farther into Remus. Virgil smiled. He was beginning to really like seeing them together, plus, if this is how he got away with lying about his mental health, he’d have to have Logan and Remus together more often.

“You look comfy,” Virgil commented with a smirk. He then shifted to become more comfortable as well, and couldn’t stop the hiss of pain that came out of his mouth.

“I’m tired,” Logan said. He sounded like he was correcting him but that didn’t argue what Virgil said at all. 

“I can tell,” Virgil replied, recovering from the pain. “You’re cute when you’re tired.”

“Normally I’d argue but I broke a building and am too tired to care so I’ll allow it.”

“Wait you broke a building without me! No fair!” Virgil objected. He had noticed Logan’s power build up was a lot lower, barely there in fact. He tried to act annoyed, but the smile on his face probably gave him away.

“He broke it with me,” Remus replied with a smirk. “You missed out cause you decided to get yourself fucking stabbed. Your loss, he was fucking hot.”

“Well obviously he was,” Virgil replied with a shrug. He had not thought that through. But it was  _ fine _ . He definitely didn’t yelp or anything, that would be undignified. “He always is when he uses his powers. Those eyes, I swear to God…”

“I will do it right now, don’t test me Tempest,” Logan growled, though it was  _ very  _ unintimidating considering he was still curled up in a ball on Remus’s lap. 

“I’m pretty sure if you used any of your power right now you’d pass out,” Roman pointed out and Logan  _ stuck his tongue out at him _ . Virgil laughed.

“Yeah, plus, that isn’t my name anymore,” Virgil glanced at Roman and Roman gave him a smile.

“Oh please tell me you’re not about to go by  _ Angelo, _ ” Dee sighed instead of a greeting and tossed a ball of damp cloth at Virgil’s face. Virgil reached up instinctively to catch it and regretted it quickly. God, how was he so bad at remembering his own injuries. “There your damn hoodie is clean.”

“He can go with whatever name he wants,” Patton yelled from the kitchen. “And I’m almost done getting your stuff kiddo!”

Virgil decided not to question what all Patton was getting and glared at Dee. “ _ Obviously _ I am not going by fucking  _ Angelo _ . I may be an idiot but I’m not that stupid. I was just gonna change my last name, y’know, combine the two. Virgil Erikson or something, I dunno. It’s kinda dumb.” Virgil was rambling now as he used his right arm to hug his hoodie against him nervously. What were they gonna say? Probably that it was stupid and Virgil was an idiot and they wanted him to leave and-

“I like it,” Logan said with a grin, cutting off Virgil’s thought spiral. Virgil gave Logan a small smile.

“Thanks,” Virgil mumbled shyly.

Suddenly, Patton came back in with a plate full of… something, along with two water bottles and the pain meds that Virgil so desperately needed.

“I love it kiddo!” Patton said, setting the stuff down on the table then handing Virgil the medicine. Virgil took it while watching Patton suspiciously. Whatever was on that plate… it was not something he wanted to eat. Was Patton trying to poison him?

“...what is that?” Virgil finally asked, tilting his head toward the plate of warm brown and green mush.

“Tofu and spinach!” Patton said happily. “And you’re gonna eat it, cause you need the iron. You lost a lot of blood and I have a feeling you’re still pretty light headed kiddo. This food and water will help.”

“Nope, absolutely not. I am not eating that shit,” Virgil replied. That shit looked poisoned. He’d probably die if he ate it it looked so gross.

“Maybe you’ll think before putting me in a dome next time,” Logan snarled. “So you’re going to eat the food, Virgil Erikson, or I’m not cuddling you for a  _ week _ .”

Okay, now that was just uncalled for. Virgil glared at Logan. “Well, at least you aren’t dead. Also, how am I supposed to eat with one arm?” He knew it was a weak excuse, but he actually needed an excuse no instead of just saying no. He couldn’t lose his snuggles!

“Your other arm still works,” Logan deadpanned. “Or make Roman feed you, I don’t care. Now eat your food so I can go to sleep on Remus because I am too tired to go to bed.”

“What does me eating have to do with you going to sleep,” Virgil mumbled. He took the plate from Patton with his right arm cause he had finally figured out not to move his left one. He was a little shaky and spilled a piece of ‘tofu’ on the couch, but other than that managed to successfully get the plate onto his lap as Patton handed him a fork. He took a shaky bite and resisted the urge to spit out the spongy cube.

“You good, Virgil?” Roman was trying not to laugh but was failing horribly. 

“Patton, why do you hate me?” Virgil moaned. “Why would you force me to eat something so vile? It tastes like a sponge!”

“Hey, it was the best I could find on short notice!” Patton objected. “How about this, once you finish we can get you back in your comfy hoodie, okay?”

“Fine.” Virgil mumbled as he forced down another bite. “I’m gonna need a shirt tho.”

“Well I don’t know that you should be pulling anything on over your head right now kiddo,” Patton said. “We may have to stop and find you a button-down or something easier to get on. I don’t want you to reopen it, it was pretty deep and it’s gonna take a while to heal up. I wanna give it at least a week before you move it too much.”

“I have a few you can use,” Logan yawned. “They’ll be pretty big but it’s better than nothing.”

Virgil tried to suppress the blush rising in his face and smile at the idea of wearing Logan’s shirts, but it didn’t get past Dee.

“You are the gayest boy on this entire god-forsaken earth,” Dee sighed. Virgil flushed even deeper. 

“I mean I guess that would probably be easier than stopping somewhere…” Virgil replied, trying to hide how much he wanted to wear his boyfriend’s shirt.

“You can just say you wanna wear Logan’s shirt,” Roman snickered.

“Shut up,” Virgil muttered. He ate some more of his food in silence, and upon Patton’s request downed the entirety of one of the water bottles before the younger boy finally seemed satisfied.

“Happy?” Virgil asked.

“Yes,” Patton replied. “Now why don’t you go change into something other than Roman’s jacket?”

“Okay,” Virgil replied. “How am I supposed to even get on the button down without moving my shoulder? I had to make Roman button this jacket.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure that was so horrible for you,” Dee rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” Virgil replied. “Roman, will you help me again? I’d ask Logan since it’s his shirt but I think he fell asleep.”

“‘M no asleep,” Logan muttered, even though his eyes were closed.

“Well you should be,” Virgil smirked. God his boyfriend was so fucking adorable. “Tell me where your shirts are then go to sleep.”

“They’re in my bag,” Logan answered, though he had to pause halfway through to yawn.

“Okay now go to sleep,” Virgil said. He got up off the couch carefully and went over to give his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead. Logan muttered something and then nuzzled into Remus’s neck. Virgil thought it sounded like ‘Love you’ but he wasn’t sure. He smiled.

Virgil turned to Roman and tried to toss his hoodie over to him but missed miserably, he really should have known better than to throw with his right hand. Thankfully it didn’t land in the last bites of ‘food’ on his plate. Though, as much as he hated it, he had to admit he was feeling a little less lightheaded after eating it, not that he’d admit that to Patton.

“Let’s get this over with.” Virgil said.

“Alright then,” Roman laughed and picked up the hoodie. He led the way back into the bedroom and Dee actually wolf-whistled. Virgil hissed at him before following Roman into the room. He could vaguely hear Dee losing his shit and Virgil resisted the urge to go back and hit him. Roman was already digging through Logan’s bag and he pulled out a black shirt with purple clouds that Virgil had never seen Logan wear in the entire time they’d known each other.

“Where’d that shirt come from?” Virgil wondered aloud as Roman brought it over and started unbuttoning his denim jacket. Virgil was choosing to ignore the fact that this was the first time his boyfriend had seen him shirtless and not covered in blood, or else he may just fall into a gay panic. “I’ve never seen Logan wear it before.”

“Yeah doesn’t really seem like his style huh,” Roman mused. “Kinda reminds me of someone else instead.”

Roman had gotten the jacket unbuttoned and Virgil knew he was trying to make a point but was way too gay to think straight as Roman worked on gently removing the sling so he could take off the jacket. “Yeah that’s weird.” Virgil replied distractedly. And of course because Roman was way too fucking observant he just  _ had  _ to notice.

“You good there, honey?” Roman smirked.

“Yeah…” Virgil replied. He got a slight reprieve of gayness when Roman actually started taking off the jacket which was painful enough to distract him for a minute. “Shit. Damn it that hurts.”

“I know I’m sorry,” Roman winced. “At least you won’t have to pull it over your head.”

Virgil grimaced at the idea. “Yeah, that’s good.” Once Roman had the jacket off Virgil was fighting tears and he knew Roman felt bad so he had to calm down. “Pause for a second please.” Virgil said and sat on the bed.

Roman was staring at him unashamedly and Virgil felt his face growing warm. He wrapped his right arm around himself self consciously, resisting the urge to wrap his left arm around himself as well cause he really didn’t need to make it hurt any more. Roman kneeled down in front of him and wrapped his hand around his wrist. He didn’t try to pull his arm away but he smiled at him brightly. Virgil returned the smile with a small one of his own. He decided to take a page out of Roman’s book and cover his self consciousness with snarky and egotistical questions.

“So, do I look any better not covered in blood?” Virgil asked jokingly.

“Considering I’m not too terrified to appreciate you, yes,” Roman countered. Virgil moved his arm slowly away from himself and grabbed Roman’s hand.

“Sorry for scaring you,” Virgil said. “I promised not to do that again.”

“Sometimes...sometimes it can’t be helped,” Roman sighed. “You were protecting Logan, though I still think you should have worked with your badass superpowered boyfriend, but ya know. Besides, I’m getting used to this kinda thing. I mean, have you met my brother?”

“That’s fair,” Virgil replied. “I’m still sorry though.”

“I know,” Roman ruffled Virgil’s hair. “Speaking of my brother, since when are him and Logan so close?”

“Wait… I thought you were supposed to be the romance expert here! Did I figure this one out before you? Are you that oblivious?” Virgil was grinning. “Clearly they like each other!”

“What?!” Roman squawked.

“Yeah it’s so obvious! Remus has been flirting and over protective, and I’m not sure Logan has figured it out yet but look at him! He is sleeping in your brother's lap!” Virgil was on a high. He had figured something romance related out before Roman! “And did you see how he acted when he saw me and Logan together for the first time! He was basically shunning Logan until I told him Logan’s poly!”

“Oh my God, I’m an idiot!” Roman groaned. “I mean I noticed they were touchy, but Remus had always been touchy with everyone and hell  _ I  _ hold Logan’s hands all the time and I was gonna ask-” He cut himself off abruptly, his jaw making an audible click as he closed his mouth. Wait, did Roman like Logan too? Like, Virgil was fine with it obviously, but he didn’t think Roman was poly…

“Wait, what?” Virgil asked. “Do you have a crush on Logan too or something? I mean, I can’t blame you if you do and obviously I’d be fine with it but I didn’t think you were poly.”

“No no no!” Roman hurried to say, waving his arms dramatically. Okay, now Virgil was even more confused. “I’m not poly. And I definitely don’t have a crush on Logan, even though I can admit that  _ damn  _ that boy is gorgeous. Jesus Christ his  _ jawline _ .”

“God I know,” Virgil agreed. “But enough about how hot my boyfriend is, what were you gonna ask him?”

“I was gonna ask,” Roman hesitated. “I mean he might not even know what this is or it might not be his style but I was thinking…”

“Oh come on just spit it out!” Virgil teased.

“You have no sense of tension build up,” Roman sighed. “Fine, I was gonna ask him about being queerplatonic, okay?”

“That. Is. ADORABLE!” Virgil squealed. “You have to do that! He’ll totally say yes! And obviously he’ll know what it means he’s a total nerd.”

“This is true,” Roman muttered, scratching the back of his neck. Wait, was he blushing? Finally the roles had reversed! “I don’t know if he’d be into that though. I like the guy but he wasn’t exactly a huge friends person before this and we’ve only known each other for a little over a month.”

“You’d think that’d be the case, but that boy already told me he loves me, so I think you’re fine,” Virgil replied, still grinning at the idea. “That would be so awesome if he said yes! Which of course he would, cause you’re awesome!”

“I know all that but we’re gonna pause for a second ‘cause he said WHAT?!” Roman shrieked. “What did you say? How did he say it? When was this?”

“Oh my God, slow down,” Virgil groaned. “He said it last night when he found me outside practicing magic and yelled at me for not being asleep. He said it by doing Morse code on my knee and I asked what it meant and he told me. And I didn’t say anything, cause you know me, but I left a note last night saying I think I love him too, and I have a feeling that’s where my special treatment came from this morning.”

“Yeah I was wondering about that but I was a little distracted afterward,” Roman smirked. Virgil felt blush rise in his face again. The roles were reversed for two seconds and suddenly Virgil was back to being the flustered one! “But that is so fucking cute oh my God! I mean mine may have been cuter, but still.”

Virgil smiled at the memory. Roman had sent him a small bouquet of purple flowers in the mail that had arrived with a card that said “I love you”. They had facetimed later that night and Virgil had made many noises before finally getting nervous realizing Roman probably expected him to say it back. But he didn’t even have a chance to explain himself, because Roman had jumped in, telling Virgil he didn’t need to say it until he was ready cause Roman knew. 

“You guys have different styles that are equally adorable,” Virgil finally replied.

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Roman waved him off before frowning. “Wait what were we talking about?”

“You asking Logan to be in a queerplatonic relationship,” Virgil reminded him with a smirk. “Which you should definitely do in case I wasn’t clear before.”

“You’re sure it wouldn’t be, I don’t know, weird?” Roman asked. “I mean we’re both dating you, I want to make sure you’re completely okay with it.”

“What about my reaction gave you the idea that I wouldn’t be completely okay with it?”

“Shut up and answer the question. Look, you think you’re the only one kept awake thinking about stuff?”

“No, I don't think that. I’m sorry.” Virgil sighed. “Of course I’m okay with it. I love the fact that my two boyfriends care about each other. I’m not just okay with it, I would love it, Roman. I promise, I am completely 100% entirely okay with this.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll do it,” Roman sighed. “But I want to let some of this settle down at least a little bit, okay?”

“That’s fair, Logan’s a bit freaked right now anyway,” Virgil said. “But I think Remus helped him out cause his powers are a lot calmer. Now, can you help me get that shirt on now? And don’t freak out when I start cursing, cause I know you’re gonna feel bad but it’s not your fault I got fucking stabbed.”

Roman muttered something that made Virgil narrow his eyes before he sighed. 

“I mean you don’t  _ have  _ to put the shirt on.” Roman looked Virgil up and down very obviously.

“Oh my God why do you hate me so much?” Virgil joked as his face grew warm again. 

“We were  _ literally  _ making out this morning,” Roman pointed out with a smirk. “I don’t know why you’re surprised that I think you’re hot as hell.”

“I... just… MER!” Virgil stuttered out.

“Ah yes, very intelligent comeback,” Roman deadpanned. “So wise.”

“Just shut up and help me with the shirt!” Virgil muttered, his face a deep red.

“Or I could make it worse and tell you why you’ve never seen Logan wear this before,” Roman smirked but picked up the discarded button down.

Virgil really didn’t know how he could get any more flustered and wasn’t sure he wanted to find out, but his curiosity got the better of him. “Why?”

“He thought you might steal it,” Roman answered. “He saw it when we went to Kohl’s and asked if I thought you would like it. Basically it reminded him of you and he thought you’d either steal it and wear it, or you might like him in it. Also  _ please  _ let him know you know this ‘cause I really wanna see his reaction.”

Yeah, so it was possible for Virgil to get even more flustered. Virgil glanced down and did not get up off the bed, so Roman couldn’t get the shirt on him as Virgil hid his red face in his hand.

“That’s cute.” Virgil mumbled into his hand.

“I did warn you,” Roman pointed out.

“Yeah but you also knew I’d ask.” Virgil retorted, still not looking up.

“Obviously,” Roman smirked. “Now do you actually want to put this shirt on so you can go see your adorable sleeping boyfriend or keep flirting, ‘cause I’m down for both.”

Virgil took a deep breath. He kind of wanted to just stay and let Roman get him even more flustered so he could forget everything going on. But he also did want to see sleepy Logan again, and he  _ had _ to take a look at that spell. Virgil sighed and looked up, and Roman immediately started giggling because he is an awful person.

“Yeah yeah I’m flustered and it’s very funny,” Virgil said, carefully standing up. “Just help me get this shirt on, and my hoodie if it’s dry.”

“I seriously doubt it is,” Roman shrugged and helped Virgil get his right arm in the sleeve. He took a deep breath which was kinda weird since he wasn’t the one about to be in immense pain. “You ready?”

“Nope, just get it over with,” Virgil said. “And again, sorry in advance.”

Roman didn’t say anything, just swallowed and gently began to lift Virgil’s arm. Virgil tried  _ really _ hard for Roman’s sake not to say anything, but damn it it HURT. It was like his shoulder was on fire as the joint shifted, and Virgil was fighting tears almost immediately.

“Fuck, shit, damn it that hurts. Sorry not your fault. SHIT!” Virgil was saying, his volume raising more than he wanted it to. “FUCK! Pause please please stop, stop!” Virgil was gasping and tears were on his face as Roman froze, holding Virgil’s arm as still as possible. Virgil knew he had to get this over with but damn it it hurt.

Once Virgil caught his breath, he glanced at Roman, an apology on his lips, when he noticed tears on his boyfriend’s face as well. God why couldn’t he have just kept his mouth shut. “I’m sorry Roman. Oh my God I’m so sorry are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Roman nodded, sounding not at all okay. Virgil was surprised he didn’t try to wipe the tears away and then remembered he was holding his arm and realized he didn’t want to move his hand and risk jostling it. “Yeah I’m fine. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

“You don’t seem fine,” Virgil said. He knew he should probably get the shirt on before talking to Roman about this, but honestly he was not at all interested in continuing that. Especially since he knew it would upset Roman even more. This seemed like a good excuse to procrastinate.

“Now is not the time for this, Virgil,” Roman bit out. Virgil sighed. 

“Okay I know. Just give me a sec.” Virgil said. He had to pull himself together. He couldn’t start yelling like that again, not if it upset Roman so much.

“This is gonna be the worst part ‘cause I gotta actually manipulate your arm,” Roman warned him, but it sounded like he was preparing himself instead. “I can go quick or gentle, it’s up to you.”

“Great, okay,” Virgil sighed. “God, I dunno, which would hurt less? Probably slower, right? But then it’ll take longer…” Virgil kind of wanted to just go quickly and get it over with, but he knew he’d probably yell more if he did and he couldn’t let Roman hear that. “Okay, just do it, just… be slow I guess? I think that would be best.”

“Alright,” Roman winced and braced himself. “Here we go.”

He began to move Virgil’s arm and the sleeve of the shirt, going slow like Virgil asked even if it looked like he was forcing himself to do so. The pain in Virgil’s shoulder spiked again as the movement forced the wound to move. He blinked against the spots in his vision and bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything this time. He felt the tears falling down his face and tried to focus on them instead of the deep, burning pain in his shoulder. It didn’t work. Then Roman bent his arm into the sleeve. The pain grew worse as he tried to keep on his feet. He knew he had broken the still weak skin on his lips again but he didn’t care. Finally, Roman pulled his arm through the sleeve, already muttering an apology. Virgil’s willpower finally broke as he let out a strangled cry of pain. He was sure the others could hear him outside the door because when his willpower broke, it all broke. He was crying and yelling and cursing and God he needed to shut up! Roman made a pained sound but finished what he was doing so he could help Virgil sit back down.

Virgil sat on the bed, gasping and sobbing. He could taste blood in his mouth from his lip but didn’t even register the pain over what he was feeling in his shoulder. Roman knelt in front of him again and took his face in his hands. One hand quickly moved to his hair and began to run through it as Roman just whispered apologies and sweet nothings, completely ignoring the tears on his own face as he focused on Virgil. Virgil tried to calm himself down, he was upsetting Roman and he hated it but the pain was still there, deep and overpowering, so he gave in, continuing to sob for an unknown amount of time until, finally, mercifully, the pain began to fade.

“‘M okay,” Virgil choked out. “It’s okay.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Roman gasped. He used the hand in Virgil’s hair to harshly wipe away his own tears and then gently did the same to Virgil’s. “I’m sorry, I’m fine.”

“Clearly you aren’t though,” Virgil said, feeling bad as more tears fell to replace the ones Roman had just wiped away. “I’m sorry I tried not to yell. It’s not your fault, ‘kay?”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize,” Roman shook his head. “It’s fine, you were in pain, it’s okay.”

Virgil gave a small nod, still feeling bad but not knowing what else to say. “Hey could you grab me some water?” Virgil finally asked. He hated the taste of blood.

Roman opened his mouth but no sound came out, so he just wiped his face one more time and left to get the water. Virgil heard hushed conversation but Roman came back a few minutes later. He knelt once more and handed Virgil the glass. Virgil took it shakily and took a grateful sip of water. He took it away from his mouth and noticed a small red smudge from his bleeding lips, which he quickly wiped off with his thumb, hoping Roman didn’t notice.

“Thanks,” Virgil said after taking a few more sips, this time more prepared to quickly wipe off any stains he left on the glass. Then Roman was cupping his jaw and running his thumb over Virgil’s lip absentmindedly before he looked away.

“Ro I’m fine,” Virgil assured again. “But you clearly aren’t. What’s going on?”

“It’s not important,” Roman muttered. “Just don’t worry about it.”

Oh no. They had worked so hard on this together, helping Roman be able to see the importance of his own issues despite how horribly his parents had treated him. He knew it was a horribly stressful situation, but he couldn’t let Roman revert back to this. They had come so far.

“Roman we’ve talked about this,” Virgil sighed. “Your issues are important, no matter what your parents would say. Please, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Roman whispered. His head fell so his forehead was resting on Virgil’s knee. Virgil started playing with Roman’s fingers on the hand he had let fall to the right side of Virgil. He stayed quiet, hoping Roman would continue on his own. “I’m so sorry.”

After a few moments of nothing, Virgil sighed. “I already said it’s okay, but I have a feeling there’s something else here you’re trying to apologize for, whether justified or not. What is it Ro?”

“I should’ve been there,” Roman said quietly. “I should’ve been there to protect you, and then you got hurt and there was so much blood...I’m sorry.”

“But that wasn’t your fault, love,” Virgil whispered. “You can’t blame yourself for every stupid decision I make. We didn’t know this would happen, okay? And I’m glad you weren’t there. I wouldn’t have wanted you to get hurt either.”

“But if I was there then I could have  _ helped _ . You probably wouldn’t have gotten hurt. I left you again and you got hurt again.”

“Maybe you could have done something,” Virgil admitted, “Or maybe I would have trapped you in a stupid dome like I did Logan cause I’m over protective. Who knows. But what happened happened, and we can’t change that now. It wasn’t your fault for not being there. We made that decision as a group, none of us knew this would happen. And I am okay. A little banged up, but generally okay.”

“YOU ALMOST DIED,” Roman shouted. He looked back up at Virgil with bloodshot eyes and tears on his face and Virgil’s heart broke at the sight. “You almost bled out! You are still pale because you almost bled out  _ in my arms _ . So don’t give me that ‘a little banged up’ bullshit.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Virgil relented. “Maybe I was a bit more than ‘a little banged up’. I’m really really sorry. I can’t imagine what that felt like for you. But that still doesn’t mean it’s your fault, because it wasn’t. If it was anyone's fault it was mine for trapping Logan in a protection dome then backing myself into a corner like an idiot.” Virgil didn’t add that he didn’t regret the decision of the protective dome. He didn’t think that acknowledging that would help anyone.

“Oh I’m definitely mad about that,” Roman agreed. “But since I can’t go in people’s heads and I would have been standing watch so you wouldn’t have gotten ambushed. Plus I can fight, so you probably wouldn’t have gotten fucking stabbed if I had been there to help and I just...I really don’t want to talk about this right now...please.”

Virgil sighed. He wanted to help Roman, but he knew this wasn’t just gonna get better in one conversation. He had fucked up and hurt Roman in the process and he was going to have to deal with it and help Roman through it, but he had to do that on Roman’s terms. 

“Okay, but I’m not gonna forget about this. We will finish this conversation later, okay?”

“Fine,” Roman sighed. Virgil stopped playing with Roman’s fingers to reach up and wipe a stray tear off of Roman’s cheek. Roman chuckled quietly and did the same for him. Was he still crying? He realized he was and almost laughed, realizing that he was still extremely sore but had gotten so distracted he hadn’t even noticed. Roman began to button Virgil’s shirt for him, which Virgil had also forgotten about.

He had half a mind to ask about his hoodie but decided against it, both for Roman and because he wasn’t sure he could take it either. Plus, the shirt was so big on him it almost felt like his hoodie, the way it hung loosely off his shoulders and covered his hands, and the shirt fell down to his mid-thigh like Roman’s jacket had.

“Isn’t it like, illegal to look that hot after crying?” Virgil teased while Roman finished buttoning the shirt. Roman’s eyes widened as he processed Virgil’s words and he opened and closed his mouth a few times in shock. 

“Th-that...that is so not fair,” Roman stammered.

“Oh, but when you do that to me it is?” 

“Yes,” Roman nodded. “It is completely fair then and unfair now and you should stop immediately.”

“Eh,” Virgil said. “I’m actually not gonna stop ‘cause my beautiful boyfriend is buttoning my other boyfriend’s shirt so I’m feeling flirty.”

“Oh my God,” Roman groaned. “Is this how you feel all the time? This is amazing and awful.”

“Flustered is a great look on you,” Virgil replied in a teasing voice, not acknowledging Roman’s question.

“No I’m supposed to be the smooth one!” Roman whined and hid his face in his hands, but Virgil caught him blushing. Virgil didn’t think he’d ever seen him blush and he decided he’d have to see it more often, his pink cheeks making his freckles stand out starkly against his skin.

“Too bad it’s my turn, cause you’re cute when you blush so I’ve decided to make it happen more often. It makes your freckles stand out more. It’s adorable.”

“My freckles aren’t that cute,” Roman muttered, his voice muffled by his hands.

“Oh they definitely are though,” Virgil replied. “They are one of the many, many things I love about you, along with your beautiful eyes, your bravery, how considerate you are…”

Roman made a high-pitched whining sound into his palms and Virgil laughed. “There are more, would you like me to continue?”

“I’m pretty sure you’re going to no matter what I say.”

“You’re not wrong,” Virgil replied with a one arm shrug because his shoulder still hurt so this time he actually remembered. “I love how your hair looked when you answered the phone in the middle of the night,” Virgil lifted his right hand and tousled Roman’s hair as he spoke. “I love how your eyes sparkle when you get excited. I love hearing you sing in your beautiful voice.” Virgil moved his hand to under Roman’s chin to tilt his face up so their eyes met. “I love seeing you with that katana cause God you look badass. I love Every. Single. Part. Of. You.”

“This isn’t meaningless flirting anymore but I’ll take it,” Roman chuckled and rested his hand on Virgil’s. “I didn’t know you played dirty, Erikson.”

“Well we’ve learned a lot of new things about me during this whole thing, huh?” Virgil chuckled as well.

“True, and I love you more with each part we uncover,” Roman said, finally beginning to recover enough to flirt back. Damn it, this was supposed to be his turn! Well, at least he could still try.

“I love you more every second I spend with you,” Virgil retorted, blush rising in his face despite his attempts to stop it.

“Don’t try to beat me at my own game,” Roman smirked.

“I’m not trying, I’m succeeding.”

“This,” Roman gestured to his very pink cheeks. “Means absolutely nothing.”

“Oh, does it now?” Virgil smirked. “Cause I have a feeling that if I mention how great you look in that outfit, you’ll turn even pinker.”

“A red flannel and a white t-shirt?” Roman raised an eyebrow. “That’s not exactly impressive.”

“It is when you wear it.” Virgil replied without hesitation.

“I’m gonna get back at you when I take you on an actual date after all this and wear a suit,” Roman pouted.

“I’m sure you will.” Virgil laughed. He knew this was a rare occasion, him getting Roman flustered, but he was loving every second of it.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure you’ll enjoy it more than I will,” Roman retorted.

“Well I’ll get back at you with whatever dark and edgy outfit I wear that’ll look great on me.” Virgil’s self doubt yelled at him that he wouldn’t look great, but he didn’t care. It was flirty gay time, not shoulder pain and self deprecation time.

“Wait I never told you about that!” Roman protested. “Am I that obvious? Damn, maybe I’m not as good at this as I thought.”

“Wait what?” Virgil asked. What was Roman talking about? “What did you not tell me about?”

“You know when you go all full out with all the eyeliner and shit,” Roman said then blinked at him a few times. “...You didn’t actually figure it out, did you?”

“Um, we’ve established that I’m oblivious, right?”

“What have you done to me?” Roman whined. “A few compliments and I’m revealing things only Remus knows, this is so not fair.”

“It’s called being flustered, it is a clinical issue,” Virgil smirked. “Okay, but now I have to know though. What about my dark and edgy eyeliner have you talked about with Remus?” Virgil had a feeling he had figured it out, but he wanted to make Roman say it.

“I’m not saying it and you can’t make me.” Roman stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms, but he didn’t pull away from Virgil’s hand.

“Okay, I’ll just ask Remus then,” Virgil replied. “I’m sure he’ll tell me. He has no impulse control.”

“Okay hold on,” Roman protested quickly. “Let’s not do anything hasty, here.”

“Oh, so are you gonna tell me then?” Virgil smirked at his flustered boyfriend. He was having way too much fun with this.

“I-” Roman sighed. Holy shit his cheeks were so pink. He tried to look away but Virgil used the hand he had on Roman’s face to stop him. There was no way he was gonna miss Roman’s face when he admitted this. “Fine, I think you’re hot as hell when you look like you could beat the shit out of someone, okay? Happy now?”

“Very,” Virgil grinned. He was gonna have to wear his eyeliner more often. “You think Patton would be okay if we stopped to pick up some eyeliner after this?”

“Why do you hate meeeee,” Roman groaned and leaned in to hide his face in Virgil’s chest. He had to lean down a little even while kneeling, but he managed it.

“You know I love you,” Virgil said, knowing the words would fluster Roman even more.

“I’m gonna run away with Patton,” Roman declared. “He’s the only one nice to me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Virgil laughed. “Now sit up and finish buttoning this shirt you gay disaster.”

“You do not have the right to call anyone a gay disaster,” Roman muttered indignantly, but he didn’t deny it. He sat back up and got to work on the last few buttons. “There, done. Oh I guess we gotta put the sling back on, but that doesn’t fuck with your shoulder as much so it’ll probably be fine.”

“Yeah,” Virgil nodded. “Oh, I also wanted to ask. Did Patton really put in the effort to make me a  _ purple _ sling? I mean, I can’t say I’m surprised knowing him, it just seems like something a normal person wouldn’t think about in that situation.”

“He did,” Roman confirmed and grabbed the sling. “‘Kay, ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Virgil muttered. “Shouldn’t be too bad though, so just go for it I guess.”

Roman bit his lip again, but he helped Virgil get his arm set and leaned in close to tie the fabric behind his neck. Virgil winced, but it really wasn’t that bad as the thing was supposed to keep his shoulder steady, so if getting it on jostled it that much it would kinda defeat the point. Once Roman was done, Virgil leaned forward and placed his head against Roman’s with a relieved sigh.

“So I’m gonna be wearing this shirt for a while,” Virgil muttered. “Y’think Logan’ll mind?”

“Oh he definitely won’t,” Roman smirked, but his remaining blush ruined the effect a little bit.

“Maybe I’ll steal Patton’s style while I’m at it and tie my hoodie around my neck,” Virgil joked. “You think I could pull it off?”

“You could pull off anything,” Roman said and leaned in so his lips were an inch from Virgil’s. “Especially if I’m wearing it.”

Virgil’s face turned even redder than before. “I left that one wide open didn’t I?” He mumbled, not moving away from Roman.

“Mhmm,” Roman chuckled lowly. If Roman was gonna make it dirty, he could too.

“Wide open like I want your mouth to be when you kiss me,” Virgil whispered. Roman’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and Virgil could literally hear his breath hitch.

“Okay, that was your opening to kiss me Princey,” Virgil sighed when Roman didn’t say anything. “God, I have to do all the work myself, don’t I?” 

Virgil rolled his eyes and closed the distance between their lips with a smirk. Roman seemed to finally recover as he kissed back with a fervor Virgil had never seen, but he still managed to be careful about Virgil’s shoulder as he threaded his fingers through Virgil’s hair. Virgil wrapped his good arm around Roman and held him there until they finally had to come up for air. Virgil chuckled.

“We should probably go tell the others I’m alive now. I was making a lot of noise…” Virgil trailed off, embarrassed, before remembering his hoodie on the floor. “First though can you grab my hoodie? I was joking about the Patton thing but I actually do want help tying it around my waist.”

“Yeah…” Roman said breathlessly. He blinked a few times before he shook his head. “Yeah I can do that.” 

“Oh my God you are hopeless,” Virgil teased as Roman got up.

“For you, always,” Roman muttered, though it seemed like he didn’t expect Virgil to hear considering he didn’t look at him at all until he’d picked up the hoodie and was pulling the sleeves around Virgil’s waist. Virgil wanted to tease him about it, but decided he had tortured his poor boyfriend enough for the day. He looked down at the hoodie as Roman tied it.

“Wow, Patton and Dee really did a good job at fixing it up,” Virgil commented, reaching over to examine the spot Patton had cut. “You can barely tell anything happened.”

“Yeah they actually make a pretty good team,” Roman said. “I shouldn’t be surprised though considering my brother vs me.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. Roman stood back up once he finished tying the hoodie. He had double knotted it so it didn’t get too loose and fall off of Virgil’s tiny frame, which he appreciated. 

“There,” He said. “Can I be free from this hell now?”

“Fine,” Virgil sighed. “I guess it’s probably about time I face them and explain why I sounded like a fucking bird anyway. I’ve ruined my reputation as a cat!”

“You literally hissed at Dee as we came in here I think you’re good,” Roman laughed.

“Good,” Virgil replied with a smirk. “I can’t have people thinking I am anything other than a cat trapped inside of a human’s body.” 

Virgil grabbed Roman’s hand with his good one and began to head out of the room. When they opened the door he saw that Logan was fast asleep on Remus, fucking finally, and Dee and Patton were sitting on the couch, Dee with his head on Patton’s shoulder, and they were talking about something in hushed tones.

“Shhh,” Remus whispered from where he was sitting in the chair gently stroking Logan’s hair. “Be quiet. I don’t know how your screaming earlier didn’t wake him but I don’t wanna risk waking him.” 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Virgil replied quietly. “Let’s just say I’m gonna be wearing this shirt for a while, I hope Lo doesn’t mind.”

“Dude domestic shit gets to him even more than flirting,” Dee rolled his eyes. “I think you’re good.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Virgil sighed. “I assume this is a no but I just thought I’d ask anyway before I get to work, Pat, any chance I can have more of those pain meds?”

“Sorry kiddo,” Patton replied with an apologetic look. “We can pick up a different kind at the store so you can take both, but I’ve given you all I have.”

“It’s all good,” Virgil said, brushing off Patton’s concern. His shoulder was still hurting pretty bad, but not bad enough that he couldn’t ignore it for the time being. He opened his mouth to ask Remus where the spell was, but then realized he could sense a third tugging in the room, a lot stronger than Dee, though weaker than Logan, but it felt different than his friend and boyfriend. It was coming from Patton’s bag.

“Is the spell in Patton’s bag?” Virgil asked. 

“Yeah, knock yourself out,” Dee said.

“I didn’t think you’d be able to sense it that well,” Roman commented.

“Well I didn’t notice it earlier, but it’s pretty damn obvious now,” Virgil sighed. “Just another magic item to make me uncomfortable all the fucking time. I really love these powers.”

“Well at least we can have you carry around the spell kiddo,” Patton suggested, gesturing to his bag. “Go ahead and take it. I looked at it but I can’t make sense of any of it. But no casting until you’re healed.”

“Thanks Pat,” Virgil said. He let go of Roman’s hand and went over to the bag, struggling to get it unzipped with one hand. Dee sighed but got up off of Patton and grabbed the bag from Virgil. Virgil tried to protest that he didn’t need help but Dee ignored him. He unzipped the bag and grabbed the scroll but as soon as he did he inhaled sharply. Virgil heard Remus curse slightly as Logan shifted but he was more worried about Dee.

“Holy shit,” Dee gasped. “Is that the scroll?”

“Yeah, did it hurt you?” Virgil asked worriedly. He wasn’t exactly sure how it would have hurt Dee, but it was magic so honestly anything was on the table here.

“No it’s just...I can  _ feel  _ it,” Dee said. “Holy fuck, is this how Logan feels to you? It’s like there’s a hook in my ribs pulling me to it.”

“Yeah, kinda, although Logan’s a little stronger,” Virgil admitted. “How can you feel it though?”

“I think it isn’t quite my ribs it’s pulling at…” Dee trailed off as his eyes widened. “Holy shit I think that’s my  _ magic _ . I’ve...I’ve never been able to feel it before. Oh this is weird.”

“Yeah maybe now you’ll never stray more than like 3 feet from me,” Virgil joked, but he was still confused. How could Dee feel the magic. “I’m still confused though. How the hell can you feel it? Maybe it’s ‘cause you're touching it, like how Logan can feel the energy of my spell circles when he’s inside them?”

“Yeah but Remus was holding it earlier,” Dee looked over his shoulder at Remus. “Yo, did you feel any weird magic shit? Trying to prove a hypothesis.”

“Ooooh big word,” Roman piped up. “Logan would be proud.”

“Shut it, Oberon!”

“I didn’t feel anything,” Remus replied. “But I’m not magic. Didn’t you say it’s pulling at your magic?”

“Yeah,” Dee answered.

“I’d say I’ll hold it to prove it, but I don’t think that’ll prove anything,” Virgil chuckled quietly. “We’ll have to test it with Logan when he wakes up. For now I’ve gotta take a look at it though.”

“Remember no actual spell casting though kiddo,” Patton reminded him from where he was sitting on the couch. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever just give me the damn spell.” Virgil mumbled. Dee practically threw the scroll at him he was so quick to give it away and shivered once Virgil took it.

“So,” Virgil couldn’t help but laugh. “About that not straying more than 3 feet from me thing…”

Dee wordlessly scooted closer to Virgil. Virgil laughed quietly.

“Wow I didn’t think you’d listen to me,” Virgil said. “Huh, if this whole feeling the scroll magic works on Logan maybe I’ll never have to deal with that damn feeling again.”

Virgil then refocused on the scroll. It wasn’t just the magic he was feeling, but the amount of pure elemental energy coming off of the thing was absurd. He was a little worried about the magic hurting him, but it didn’t feel hostile, so he decided it was safe to use his teeth to get the softly glowing scroll unrolled, as he wasn’t gonna ask Dee to touch it again. He carefully laid it out on the floor in front of him and… damn. There were two spells, one for banishing the demon and one for ending the sleep. The spells were insanely complicated and way beyond Virgil’s skill level, but also absolutely beautiful. The sigils were so elegant, the energies so layered. Virgil just looked at it for a moment, in awe of the magnificent creations.

“Kitten?” Roman prompted. “You okay?”

Virgil shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry. This thing is just… wow.” Virgil ran his fingers along the instructions and sigils written on the page. “This is insane.” Virgil whispered to himself.

“You think you can do it once you’re better kiddo?” Patton asked.

“Hell no,” Virgil replied, before realizing that was not the answer anyone wanted to hear. “I mean, I probably can with a little more practice.”

“Yeah it might take you a while,” Dee agreed. “I don’t understand spells but I could tell it was some crazy shit. Do you have everything you’re gonna need?”

Virgil moved his fingers up to the supplies list for the spells and looked through them. “No, actually. I’m not actually sure where we are gonna be able to get some of these. Like, an obsidian pentagram? And sand collected on a full moon? How the hell are we gonna get those things?”

“Wait an  _ obsidian _ pentagram?” Dee asked abruptly.

“Yeah, why? You got one of those laying around somewhere?” Virgil joked, but then saw the look on Dee’s face. Did he have one of those laying around somewhere?

“Our mom had one,” Patton said quietly.

“Oh,” Virgil said. “You guy’s live in Florida, right? Think we could go get it? If you're not comfortable with it we could always find one somewhere else.”

“Like where?” Dee scoffed. “We need this, so we’re gonna get it.”

“Okay,” Virgil sighed. He didn’t want to make the brothers take something of their mom’s, not after what they had learned, but Dee was right, they didn’t really have a choice. “Do you guy’s live near a beach? We could kill two birds with one stone if we’re fast, the next full moon is just in a couple days.”

Yeah, Virgil knew that, but only because Logan had had him memorize the moon patterns while studying magic, okay? He also kinda had a thing for astronomy, but only Roman and Logan got to know that.

“I mean it’s about an hour away from our house, but yeah,” Dee shrugged. Virgil noticed he was a lot more tense than he had been and Patton kept giving him looks, but neither said anything. “Is that everything we need?”

“There are a couple other things but they should be easy to just pick up from stores,” Virgil said, before internally grimacing, remembering what had happened earlier. “I’ll also need new talismans.”

“What happened to the old ones Logan spent forever finding for you?” Remus asked, speaking up for the first time in a while, as he had clearly been trying not to wake Logan.

“I… um…” Virgil stuttered. “I smashed them, okay?”

“Why on Earth would you smash them?” Roman exclaimed before apparently remembering Logan was asleep as everyone in the room shushed him and he looked nervously at his brother. Remus glared at Roman as Logan shifted, and Roman winced. Virgil didn’t answer, hoping the others wouldn’t notice as they were focused on Logan, but of course that didn’t work out for him.

“Kiddo, you gonna tell us why you smashed the talismans?” Patton prompted gently. Virgil sighed.

“I just… kinda freaked after talking to the demon, ‘kay? I’m sorry I know it took a while to find them before.” Virgil glanced at the others nervously for their reactions.

“Oh I probably should have figured that out,” Roman sighed. 

“I’m sorry guys,” Virgil mumbled again. God he was such an idiot. His stupid overreaction was gonna slow them down. He just kept screwing up, why couldn’t he get anything right!?

“Actually my mom may have stuff you can use,” Dee mused. “She probably won’t have everything but she was pretending to be Wiccan. And you can probably find stuff in the Everglades, there’s some weird shit in there, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of it was magic. Right, Patton?”

“Yeah, there’s actually a pretty good chance that  _ stuff _ is magic,” Patton replied, clearly reprimanding Dee’s language in the process. “You can probably find new ones there. And it’s okay kiddo, we aren’t mad.”

“Okay,” Virgil muttered. “Until then I can do a little practice with elements to try and keep myself up to speed.”

“No-” Patton started to object, but Virgil cut him off.

“Look, Patton, this spell is gonna take me weeks to be able to do, we can’t waste anymore time. I don’t care if it slows my recovery, I have to at least practice some so we can get out of this mess. I promise I’ll be careful and I’ll eat as much of that disgusting food as you want, but I  _ have _ to practice or we’ll never get out of this.”

“This time I’ll make sure he takes care of himself,” Roman spoke up. Virgil noticed that he said ‘this time’, and made another mental note to finish their conversation from earlier, but didn’t say anything about it right then.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Virgil grumbled.

“Well it’s the only way I’m letting you do any of this,” Patton replied. “I don’t like it, but as long as one of us is there to keep an eye on you and you keep it in that sling so you don’t mess with it too much… I guess in this case I can let you do a little. Just take it easy, okay kiddo?”

“Yeah, sure,” Virgil replied. He wasn’t a huge fan of this arrangement, and he was still freaked about the idea of using magic, but it was their only chance, and as long as he was in the spell circle, the demon couldn’t get to him.

“We can focus a bit more on magic theory than usual,” Logan said, his voice rough. “Less practical casting, that should help.”

“Damn it guys you woke him up!” Remus groaned in frustration. Logan reached up and hit his shoulder lightly. “Hey, what was that for!?”

“Be nice,” Logan muttered. Virgil was trying not to laugh. They were so adorable, they really needed to just get together already.

“I’m always nice,” Remus claimed. Logan didn’t even have to say anything that time, just sat up so he could glare at him. “Uhg, fine, I’ll be nice or whatever.”

Logan nodded, apparently satisfied, and laid his head back down.

“For your information I have been awake since you were talking about Virgil’s talismans,” Logan told them.

“Oh so  _ Roman _ woke you up then?” Remus asked, glaring at his brother.

“Apparently,” Logan shrugged, completely oblivious to the possible homicide about to go down. Virgil just snickered and went back to looking at the spell, letting their conversation fade into the background for a moment.

He at least understood the general idea of most of it. He could figure out the general uses of the sigils based on their shapes and designs, and he understood the meanings of a lot of the materials, such as the obsidian pentagram being for very strong protection. But there were a couple sigils on there that he just could not figure out, no matter how long he looked at them.

“Logan?” Virgil asked, finally looking up to see he had interrupted something, as Remus had clearly been saying something to Roman. Shit. “Oh, sorry, nevermind.”

“No please,” Logan said hurriedly. “I am not sure what is happening but I am afraid I will be caught in the crossfire. What do you need?”

Virgil examined the scene in front of him once more. Remus had clearly been yelling at Roman. Oh, probably about waking Logan up. Virgil chuckled before turning back to Logan.

“There are a couple sigils on here that I just can’t figure out,” Virgil admitted. “Most of them I can at least get the general meaning, a lot for protection, wakefulness, banishing evil, stuff like that, but there are a couple that I just have no clue on. Could you take a look?”

“Of course,” Logan nodded. He got out of Remus’s lap and went over to Virgil. He felt himself relax as Logan came into range, which he hadn’t done visibly in a while, he had gotten good at hiding it, but there was a lot of extra magic energy in the room right now. He leaned down and hooked his chin over Virgil’s shoulder to look at the scroll, wrapping his arms around Virgil’s waist.

“Oh you probably don’t wanna touch it by the way,” Virgil said. “When Dee touched it it felt like my powers do, like he could sense the pulling like I do, we think it’s ‘cause he has magic, so it’ll probably do the same to you.”

“That is interesting,” Logan sounded like he was thinking aloud. “The properties this scroll must have to not only contain a spell but be magical itself and to interact with the magic around it-”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Virgil cut him off. “Look, just, Dee touched it and now he is basically glued to my side, so I mean, it’d probably feel better for me if you had that same reaction, but it would also be really inconvenient in general, so just don’t touch it and tell me what these mean.” Virgil pointed to the three sigils he was confused about for Logan to look at. Logan hummed as he looked at them. 

“Ah yes I know those sigils,” Logan confirmed. “The first is for erasing negativity, the second is a kind of containment rune, and the third-” Logan suddenly paused. “...are you wearing my shirt?”

Virgil froze. Logan had said he could, right? Had he imagined that? Would Logan be mad? God he really didn’t want to have to change into another shirt again. “...yeah,” Virgil eventually said. “You… you said I could. ‘Cause I needed a button down with my arm. But if you want it back-”

“No,” Logan cut him off quickly. He cleared his throat and pulled back just enough to fix Virgil’s collar. He leaned back in, this time folding his hands behind his back. “It’s alright, darling. I simply, well, I do not remember anything since the warehouse.”

“That’s okay, you were pretty tired. I’m just glad my yelling earlier didn’t wake you up,” Virgil replied, flushing as his hand went to the collar of his shirt, which was no longer lopsided. 

“Yelling?” Logan said. “Why were you yelling?”

“Oh.. um…” Damn it. Why had Virgil even said anything? “Pain? I’m fine now though don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?” Logan frowned. Damn, he’d only been awake for a few minutes and he was already worrying about Virgil.

“Yeah I’m sure,” Virgil assured him. “I just won’t be trying to change again anytime soon. I hope you’re not too attached to this shirt.” Virgil remembered what Roman said and smirked. He actually did have to finish figuring out this spell right now, but he would definitely call Logan out on that later.

“Nope,” Logan shook his head. “I mean uh, no, no you can keep it. As for the final sigil, it’s a bit more complicated, it will act as a sort of transition for the victims of the curse.”

“Okay,” Virgil nodded, his concern growing with each new ‘more complicated’ thing he noticed about the spells. “Yeah, that makes sense.” Virgil hesitated before voicing his concern, knowing Logan was the person in here with the best understanding of Virgil’s magical ability.

“You think I can do it? Cause honestly…well, I’m not sure I can. This is… it’s a lot.” Virgil finally said, glancing at Logan nervously. What if Logan didn’t think he could do it? What would they do then? He would have failed them.

“I assume you want honesty?”

Yeah, that didn’t make Virgil feel any better. But he had to know the truth, he had to know if they really had a chance or if he was just going to prove the demon right. He nodded.

“Then I think yes,” Logan answered. “However I believe it will take a lot of time and energy, both preparing for it and casting it. I also doubt you will see progress in large increments as you have so far, so you may get frustrated. But I believe with time, that you can do this.”

“Wait really?” Virgil asked, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from falling. “You think I could actually do this?”

“Wholeheartedly,” Logan replied and kissed his cheek. Virgil gave a small smile as a couple tears escaped.

“Oh thank God,” Virgil sighed and slumped against Logan in relief, being careful of his shoulder. Logan immediately wrapped his arms around his waist. “How much time do you think it’ll take? I mean, we do have a horrible murder cult after us, so we don’t have forever.”

“Taking into account your recovery and any time we spend driving…” Logan paused as he thought it over. “I’m afraid I’m not sure. Perhaps, approximately, six weeks?”

Damn it. That was not what Virgil wanted to hear. Six more weeks on the run. Three more weeks being scared and never safe. Six more weeks every victim of the curse lost. Virgil groaned.

“And that would probably be quicker if I hadn’t gotten myself stabbed huh?” Virgil muttered. He was such an idiot. He just kept screwing up and setting everyone back no matter what he tried. He briefly considered ignoring what Patton had said and just pushing himself as hard as he could, but he knew that would just keep him from being able to cast the spell when he needed to. Didn’t mean he wasn’t going to push himself a little though.

“Yes that would have been ideal,” Logan grumbled and tightened his grip on Virgil.

“‘M sorry,” Virgil mumbled. “I keep holding back the group. I’m really sorry.”

“You think  _ that’s  _ why we’re pissed?” Dee suddenly said.

“Kiddo we aren’t mad about that, we were worried about you!” Patton added.

Virgil knew they’d been worried, but he figured that was mostly just Roman being an overprotective boyfriend. Did they all actually care enough about him to be upset cause he scared them? He definitely cared about them that much but he hadn’t expected the feeling to be reciprocated.

“Even Dee was worried,” Roman said. “He was literally pacing for like half an hour before Patton shoved your hoodie in his hands.”

“Oh,” Virgil couldn’t help the little noise of surprise that escaped his mouth. “I’m sorry for scaring you guys. I guess I just didn’t think… nevermind. I’m sorry.” He really wasn’t feeling like sharing his stupid insecurities with the group right now, and honestly he didn’t think they wanted to hear them.

“Dude of course we care. You scared the shit out of us. Especially Roman, and you know how I feel about people scaring my twin.” Remus said, finally giving up on his mission of homicide. 

“You scare me literally all the time,” Roman argued. “Halloween is a nightmare.”

“Yeah well that’s  _ fake _ blood,” Remus pointed out.

“And the spiders?”

“Were… real,” Remus admitted. “But that was  _ funny _ , this was actually scary! A few spiders and fake blood is not the same as watching my twin’s boyfriend bleed out on the couch!”

“I mean, I didn’t though,” Virgil spoke up. “But I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you guys.”

“Oh my God,” Dee groaned. “Virgil. We do not care that you scared us. We just don’t want to lose you, you asshole. Maybe next time don’t put the best person to get you both out of there unharmed inside a MAGIC FUCKING DOME!”

“Okay yeah, I did do that, and it may not have been the smartest plan,” Virgil admitted. “But at least it kept Logan safe! But I get the point, I’ll think it through better next time.”

“Please do,” Logan muttered next to Virgil’s ear. His face began to migrate toward Virgil’s neck and Virgil knew he was definitely upset. That was Logan’s go-to safe space. “Being stuck in that dome and watching you have to fend for yourself, I-...just don’t do it again.”

Virgil was still glad that he had kept Logan safe, but for the first time since the fight he felt a tiny bit of regret. He couldn’t imagine if it had been the other way around. He’d have to look into some better barrier spells that wouldn’t trap the recipient. He knew he couldn’t do that to Logan again.

“Okay I won’t, I promise.” Virgil said. “I’m really sorry I did that to you. I panicked and of course my first instinct was to protect you. But I won’t do it again.”

“Thank you,” Logan sighed. “Now Remus and Roman were too busy trying to either commit or avoid fratricide respectively, so was I correct in my assessment? Is Florida our next destination? I heard Dee mention the Everglades, though I’m not sure why.”

“Yeah,” Patton said. “Our mom had some magic stuff that Virgil can use for the spell, and it’s also only an hour away from the beach so we can get the sand on the full moon. We can get anything else we need on the way.”

“Then shall we make to depart?” Logan suggested. “After the events of the day it would be wise not to remain any longer than necessary.”

“Yeah that sounds good kiddo. Since we have 6 people now we can split the cars evenly. Maybe Logan, Virgil and Dee ‘cause of Virgil’s powers, since Dee seems so much more worried about that now, then Me, Roman and Remus in the other car?” Patton suggested.

“Look if you knew what it felt like you would be a lot more worried too,” Dee grumped. “But yeah, whatever, even if I have to deal with their sappy bullshit.”

“I would complain about you guy’s worrying about me too much but I actually kinda appreciate it right now since my shoulder is still sore, it’ll be kinda nice to not have to deal with that,” Virgil admitted. “Okay, so we’re putting the scroll in my bag then?”

“Yeah so you don’t have to deal with that too,” Roman agreed. “Me and Remus can pack stuff up, but you’re carrying all the heavy shit.”

“What, why!?” Remus objected.

“You know how you lied to me for two years to join a murder cult?” Roman countered.

“So, what do you need me to carry?” Remus asked immediately. Virgil chuckled as the two walked away to go get everything to pack. He knew Roman would be pulling that card for a  _ long _ time, and Virgil couldn’t blame him.

Virgil turned back to the scroll and reached over to roll it up, struggling with his one nondominant hand. Before Virgil could protest, Logan had let go of him so he could reach out and help him with the scroll. He winced but managed to get the scroll rolled up before his hand flew to his forehead and he hissed in pain. Virgil put the scroll in his bag then turned back to Logan, annoyed.

“I told you not to touch it.” Virgil said once Logan seemed to have recovered.

“You needed help,” Logan protested weakly. “I wasn’t expecting it to hurt. It was not bad and I’m alright now, by the way.”

“Yeah I know,” Virgil sighed. “I feel that all the time, remember? Although not in my head, probably ‘cause of what your powers are. It isn’t gonna actually do any damage but it sucks. Patton could have helped me too.”

Logan pouted at him and massaged his temple. Apparently he was still not quite awake, because Awake Logan would never pout like that. Virgil gave him a small sympathetic smile. He was so cute when he pouted like this. He also felt a little bad though cause he knew how much the feeling sucked.

“Come here,” Virgil sighed, taking Logan’s head in his hand and lowering it down so he could reach. He gave Logan a quick kiss on the forehead. “There, all better.”

“I’m cured,” Logan smiled at him and kissed his nose. He frowned and opened his mouth but a certain other person had to cut him off.

“I suddenly regret my decision to be more accommodating,” Dee gagged.

“Sorry, Dee, you’re already committed,” Virgil teased, before turning back to Logan. “What were you gonna say?”

“I was going to ask if I should attempt to remain near you whenever possible,” Logan answered. “That was not exactly a pleasant experience, and I can only imagine it is worse for you with my powers and all.”

Did Logan just call them powers? Virgil knew he hadn’t really gotten to talk to Logan about what had happened but Logan changing that phrasing couldn’t be a good sign. He added that to his mental list of things he had to talk to his boyfriends about.

“It’s all good,” Virgil said. “I mean, it wasn’t at first, but I got used to it, though the feeling is still there and can be pretty uncomfortable I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring yours and Dee’s abilities.”

“Damn I just realized mine probably flare up basically whenever any of you people talk to me,” Dee realized. “You are not exactly honest people.”

Virgil chuckled. “Yeah well I’m definitely part of that problem. But yeah, they do. When you’re around I can actually tell if someone else is lying based on when your abilities flare up if I’m really paying attention, which I’m not normally, but I could.”

“That’s re-...semi-cool,” Dee corrected himself. “It’s alright, I suppose. Now can we move this along please? I’m getting tired of just standing here and waiting for you two to have passionate sex on the couch or something.”

“Oh my God!” Virgil exclaimed. “Well, I’m getting tired of my overprotective boyfriend worrying about me, and my friend being mean, so yes we can move along!”

“Dee don’t be mean!” Patton said. “No more teasing the cute couples!”

“Teasing couples is what I do, Marshmallow, where have you been,” Dee snickered.

“Well I’m gonna go help pack. I wish you kiddos luck on the car ride!” Patton said, the last part clearly for Virgil and Logan and not for Dee, before he got up to go help pack.

“Are you sure you don’t just want to run away to Maine?” Logan asked, voice definitely higher than usual.

“I’d love to run away from my lying ‘parents’ and come live with you,” Virgil replied. “ _ After _ I wake the world up from an eternal sleep.”

“Fine,” Logan sighed. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry this was a bit of a filler chapter, but trust me, next chapter will make up for it. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!!! Feel free to comment and I'll see you guys next Sunday!!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!!  
> We're back for another Sunday!! There is also a oneshot done by Salem that will be posted under the collection as well. Some serious shit goes down in this chapter, so yeah, enjoy!!!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Self-deprecation, self-blame, anxiety, panic attacks, lying, talk of death, pain, blood  
> I think that's it, but as always let me know if I missed anything!!!

The three of them finally started heading out the door to the cars which Roman and Remus had packed with a little assistance from Patton. Virgil was carrying his bag with the scroll in it on his right shoulder, fiddling with his hoodie sleeves with his right hand as they walked. He knew they’d be in the car for a while, especially considering they were trying to get to Florida, and he wasn’t sure how he’d spend that time. His anxiety was still high, as he was worried about his boyfriends and still freaked by what the demon told him. Plus, his shoulder being a reminder of what happened earlier with every step or bump in the road was no help.

Normally he would sketch during the long car rides, blocking out the world with his music, but with his left hand out of commission he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do that, and doing nothing would just lead to him sitting there and dwelling on his worries for long lengths of time, which wasn’t good for anyone.

When they got to the car Logan opened the passenger side door for him and Virgil got in. Logan went to the drivers side and Dee collapsed into the back seat, immediately closing his eyes.

Once Logan was in, they didn’t hesitate to get going, following Roman, Patton and Remus out of the motel parking lot and quickly merging onto the freeway to head south. Virgil pulled out his headphones and put them on, turning on the music as loud as he could, hoping to block his own thoughts.

_Your powers got them killed._

_Can't even protect the boy he loves_

No, he couldn’t think about the voice again. It was wrong. It had to be wrong. Roman had told him that demons lie. Roman… Oh God Roman...

_I should’ve been there to protect you,_

_YOU ALMOST DIED_

_You are still pale because you almost bled out_ in my arms.

He had hurt Roman, and now Roman wouldn’t talk to him. What if this was too much? What if Roman went back to hiding his feelings and never talked to Virgil again? God he had screwed up so much. He had been so stupid during that fight, with what he did to Logan...

_Being stuck in that dome and watching you have to fend for yourself, I-..._

_And I can only imagine it is worse for you with my_ powers _and all._

He had called them powers again. He had told Virgil himself that calling them that gave them more control. After what happened during the fight Virgil couldn’t blame him, but he had to help him. It was Virgil’s fault, all Virgil’s fault. If he had just not acted so recklessly. If he had stopped to think. But he hadn’t and now he had successfully managed to hurt everyone he loved in one foul swoop.

Virgil knew he was spiraling. He knew if he kept this up he was going to end up having a panic attack. He couldn’t hear his music anymore and his breathing was starting to pick up but he didn’t know how to stop it. Virgil dove into his bag, digging for anything, _anything_ to calm him down. He came out with his sketchbook and cursed. What the hell was he supposed to draw with his right hand? Well, maybe it was worth a shot…

Virgil held his pencil shakily and began to draw, trying to channel the negativity out of his mind and into his drawing. He tried to draw something, anything to calm him down but he just ended up with a messy blob of shaky lines and still more rapid breathing. Thoughts growing stronger as they attacked him for being unable to handle his own emotions. Being weak. Being useless.

Without thinking Virgil threw his sketchbook at the windshield in anger. He was shaking and he didn’t know when that had started. He heard his sketchbook thump against the windshield and panicked. Why had he done that? Logan was driving, they could get into an accident! God he was such an idiot why couldn’t he do anything right!?

“Virgil?” Logan said, not unkindly but with a stern edge to his voice. 

Virgil noticed his headphones had fallen off in his panic, which was why he could hear Logan. God, now he was worrying Logan even more why couldn’t he just get a hold of himself? He was weak, just like the demon said. He had failed everyone every chance he got, he-

“Stop,” Logan cut into his thoughts. “I’m not sure what you are thinking, but I know you well enough to see that you are spiraling. What would you like me to do to help?”

“I can’t make it stop,” Virgil muttered. “Nothing is working, why isn’t anything working!? God I’m _useless_ , can’t even get a handle on my own _thoughts_ …” Virgil wasn’t sure why he was saying these things out loud, they just started coming out, as if it was too much for his mind to contain anymore.

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much,” Logan started. “They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.”

Virgil’s thoughts went quiet for a moment in his shock and confusion. Was… was Logan reciting Harry Potter to him? “Are you… are you reciting the first Harry Potter book? From memory?”

“Yes,” Logan answered, keeping his eyes on the road. “You told me it was a coping mechanism for you, but I also knew you may not always have it on hand when you need it, so I began working to memorize it to the best of my ability.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, still in shock. “That’s… that’s really thoughtful of you.” Virgil’s thoughts were so confused. They all hated him, right? After everything he had done they should, but then Logan did this? Why would Logan do that if he hated him?

“I suppose,” Logan shrugged. “That was not my motive, I simply wanted to be able to help you when you needed me.”

Logan wanted to help him? After what he did? 

“But… but why?” Virgil didn’t realize he had said that out loud, his thoughts were loud enough that he honestly couldn’t tell what was in his head and what was actually being said anymore. Virgil shouldn’t even need this, he should be able to deal with this himself. He was just being a coward, and weak, like he always was.

“Because I love you, Virgil Erikson,” Logan answered. “I love you no matter what you have done, not despite it, and I will continue to love you as we both continue to make mistakes, because that is what humans do. We live, we love, we make mistakes. And that’s okay.”

“Is it though? Virgil mumbled under his breath. He didn’t know why he said it though. He couldn’t talk about this anymore. He just needed to use distraction or something because this was just too much for him to handle. His breath hitched as his breathing accelerated again. He had to stop this, he couldn’t keep going like this or he was going to be in a full on panic attack. But he wasn’t gonna tell Logan that, because that would prove how weak he was, prove that he couldn’t handle himself on his own. And he couldn’t prove the demon right.

“Yes,” Logan replied. “Now, would you like me to continue?”

“Please,” Virgil whispered before his thoughts caught up with his mouth. No! He didn’t need help. “I mean, no I’m okay.” Virgil corrected himself. He had to be okay.

“Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills,” Logan launched back into his recitation. A relieved breath escaped Virgil’s mouth as he leaned back into the seat and allowed himself to close his eyes. He focused on Logan’s voice, ignoring the thoughts as best he could. It was hard at first, but eventually his breathing slowed back to a normal rate and he was able to fully enjoy his boyfriend reciting his favorite book to him. Logan had memorized the entire book.

“...Harry saw, as though in slow motion, the ball rise up in the air and then start to fall. He leaned forward and pointed his broom handle down — next second he was gathering speed in a steep dive, racing the ball — wind whistled in his ears, mingled with the screams of people watching — he stretched out his hand — a foot from the ground he caught it, just in time to pull his broom straight, and he toppled gently onto the grass with the Remembrall clutched safely in his fist…”

Virgil remembered the first time his mom had read him this part. He had been so scared that Harry was gonna get in trouble, and get expelled, even though it had been Malfoy’s fault in the first place. But he didn’t. Because despite breaking the rules, he had done something good. In school Virgil had always been seen as the kid that would cause trouble, even though he was often the recipient of the trouble. But sometimes Virgil found the good teachers like McGonagall, who would actually help him and see him for who he was.

“...He backed away as quietly as he could. A door stood ajar to his left. It was his only hope. He squeezed through it, holding his breath, trying not to move it, and to his relief he managed to get inside the room without their noticing anything. They walked straight past, and Harry leaned against the wall, breathing deeply, listening to their footsteps dying away. That had been close, very close.” Logan paused before resuming. “For the rest of the Christmas holidays the invisibility cloak stayed folded at the bottom of his trunk....”

Logan had skipped the part about what Harry saw in the mirror of Erised. Obviously Virgil remembered what happened in that scene, and he knew that hearing about Harry seeing his dead parents, the ones he didn’t remember… that hit a little too close to him right now. And Logan probably knew that too. It was probably why he skipped it. Virgil glanced at Logan and gave him a grateful smile. Logan returned the smile without stopping.

“...’Hope you have — er — a good holiday,’ said Hermione, looking uncertainly after Uncle Vernon, shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant. ‘Oh I will,’ said Harry, and they were surprised at the grin that was spreading over his face. ‘ _They_ don’t know we’re not allowed to use magic at home. I’m going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this summer…’” 

“I can’t believe you memorized the whole book,” Virgil said once Logan was finished. They’d been driving for hours and were planning on finding a place to stop once they crossed the border to South Carolina. Virgil was feeling a lot better, but they still had about an hour to go in the drive, and he wasn’t sure what he was gonna do with that time to keep himself from spiraling again.

“Neither can I, honestly,” Logan admitted. “It was quite the process, yet it took me approximately a week.”

“Damn, a week?” Virgil asked. “I mean, I basically have it memorized but that took years. I’m just gonna blame it on your abilities or else my memory looks really shitty compared to yours.” Virgil joked.

“I’m not sure that makes sense, but okay,” Logan laughed. “I still have not read the Chamber of Secrets, but I do have it on my phone for when I get a chance. I don't even know the overall plot.”

“Really?” Virgil asked. “You have the whole first book memorized and don’t even know the plot of the second one? Huh, well we’re gonna have to fix that once this shit is over.”

“Or we do have an hour till we reach our stopping point,” Logan shrugged.

“I don’t exactly have it memorized…” Virgil admitted, though he did know it pretty damn well. “I could at least tell you about the plot though, if you want.”

“Please do,” Logan nodded.

“Okay,” Virgil said. He knew Logan probably didn’t want some in depth explanation and analysis of the book, but that was what he was gonna get with Virgil explaining the plot.

“So the book starts with Dobby, who is a house elf, popping up in Harry’s room to tell him not to go back to Hogwarts. Of course though, Dobby has the worst possible timing, because the Dursley’s are trying to make a drill deal and Harry is supposed to be quiet. So, obviously Dobby makes a ton of noise, cause nothing can ever go right for Harry. Dobby runs downstairs and uses magic because Harry is refusing to stay home from Hogwarts. Which makes sense considering Dobby doesn’t exactly tell him why he shouldn’t go. So Harry runs after him then gets blamed for the magic and gets a warning from the Ministry of Magic, and the Dursleys lock him in his room and put bars on his windows to keep him from going to Hogwarts and reaching out to his friends.”

“Why did Harry get blamed?” Logan asked. “Could the Ministry not tell it wasn’t Harry? Or that it was magic performed by a house elf?”

“Well you’d think they could, but the Ministry can’t sense who uses the magic, just that it was used and the only wizard nearby was Harry,” Virgil tried to explain, though he thought it was pretty stupid too.

“Would house elf magic not be different from wizard magic?” Logan still sounded confused.

“Not in Harry Potter. In Harry Potter it’s just all the same. And don’t ask why, cause I don’t have the answer.” Virgil replied.

"Very well," Logan chuckled. "Please, continue."

“Okay, so Harry is locked in his bedroom literally being abused which should be covered a lot more than it is,” Virgil started. “And the Weasly’s get worried, so they come with a flying car to tear the bars off his windows and take Harry to the Burrow, which is where they live. There’s a ton of magic there and he gets kinda overwhelmed and then they have him use something called floo powder to get to Diagon Alley. Except he does it wrong and ends up in Knockturn Alley instead. Weird crap happens in some creepy shops before Hagrid finds him and brings him back to the others and they meet their new idiot Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lockhart.” Virgil paused, suddenly embarrassed by his rambling. “Sorry, am I going too in depth here? I can just go with a more general plot if you want.”

"No this is incredibly entertaining," Logan objected. "Why is Professor Lockhart an idiot?"

“Cause he’s a complete fraud!” Virgil said with probably a little too much anger considering it’s a book. “You don’t find out until later, but basically he has been finding people that do cool shit, asking them about it, erasing their memories then writing books taking credit for the cool shit himself.”

“Surely that is grounds for a Wizard lawsuit,” Logan sighed. “Does he get exposed?”

“Kinda? But he also tried to erase Harry and Ron’s memories with Ron’s broken wand, so it backfired and he erased his own memory…” Virgil drifted off. He really didn’t want to think about amnesia and magically lost memories right now. Or ever again really. “Anyways, enough about memory shit, back to the plot.”

“You were talking about their first meeting with Professor Lockhart, correct?”

“Oh, yeah!” Virgil said. “Basically Mrs. Weasley is going crazy cause all the ladies are all over him, which I don’t understand. He isn’t even that hot. But, anyways, he forces Harry to get a picture with him ‘cause their famous buddies or whatever. Then they run into the Malfoys and they’re being horrible like always, except this time they’re even worse. Cause Lucius put a magic diary in Ginny’s bag, one that would convince her to open the Chamber of Secrets ‘cause she is lonely and wants the person that is in the magic diary to be her friend.”

“I suppose I can understand that,” Logan muttered.

Well great. Now he had still managed to make Logan sad again. “Why would you say that?” Virgil asked, hoping he could get more out of Logan so he could help and fix his mistake.

“What did I say?” Logan asked, sounding genuinely shocked.

“You said you could understand that,” Virgil said.

“Ah,” Logan sighed. “I simply didn’t have many friends as a child, and I’m sure you can understand why. I did have one friend, actually, when I was very young. Her name was Morgan Sanders, but she moved away.”

“That sucks,” Virgil replied, not knowing what else to say. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t really have any friends either.” Virgil shrugged with his good shoulder.

“At least we’ve made some friends now,” Logan smiled. 

“Yeah, and unlike Ginny they aren’t evil!”

“Exactly. What happened with her?”

“Well, she started talking to the person in the journal a bunch, and he basically possessed her before she finally threw it into a toilet and Harry found it,” Virgil continued. “Harry also started hearing weird voices whispering through the halls about killing and…” Damn it now he was thinking about the Demon voice again. Suddenly these Harry Potter books were hitting a lot closer to home than before.

“What about Hermione?” Logan asked. “You’ve hardly mentioned her.”

“Yeah she isn’t really in this book much cause she got petrified,” Virgil explained.

“WHAT?”Logan exclaimed then cleared his throat. “I mean, that is unfortunate.”

“Hey you like Hermione!” Virgil teased. “I mean, not that I’m surprised. But if it makes you feel any better, she was actually the one to figure out that the creature talking in the halls to Harry and petrifying people was a Basilisk. Oh yeah, and I probably should have mentioned, Harry can talk to snakes.”

“A basilisk?!” Logan scoffed. “They’re pests at _best_ and...I’m getting real world magic confused with the fictional kind again, aren’t I?”

“Yeah a little,” Virgil replied. “It’s okay though. But yeah, they’re pretty dangerous in Harry Potter. They’re really big and looking them in the eye kills you immediately. But once Harry gets the diary we learn that the person is named Tom Riddle, and we learn about when the basilisk was out in the past, and how it was actually what killed Moaning Myrtle, which is a ghost that lives in the girls bathroom.”

“Oh dear,” Logan shuddered. “I certainly would not want to spend the afterlife in a school restroom.”

“Oh yeah, she wrecked the place and now no one goes in there,” Virgil chuckled. “But also, that bathroom ends up being the entrance to the chamber of secrets. Basically Lockhart claims to be able to save Ginny, who has been taken to the chamber, and Harry and Ron overhear and are wondering how he figured it out. Turns out he didn’t and he is just packing up to run like the fraud he is, and so Harry and Ron drag him to the chamber with them to save Ginny. Then Lockhart loses his memory, they get separated, and Harry has to go off on his own to find Ginny.”

“Well that escalated quickly,” Logan muttered.

“Yep!” Virgil replied. “And then Harry finds Tom Riddle in the chamber. He was the person in the diary. And we find out that he is actually Voldemort. His name is some stupid anagram, and using his full name, his middle name is fucking Marvolo, he rearranges the letters to say ‘I am Lord Voldemort,’ and it’s this whole big reveal and shit.”

“You’re telling me,” Logan scoffed. “That the Dark Lord created his alias using an anagram of the letters in his own...name…”

Logan trailed off abruptly and his eyes widened. His grip tightened on the steering wheel so much his knuckles turned white.

“Logan?” Virgil asked, confused. What had happened? Had Virgil said something? He had seemed fine just a moment ago! “What’s going on?”

“I...I think I just realized something,” Logan answered. His gaze zeroed in on the car their other friends were in. “However if you don’t mind, I would like to wait and share it with the whole group.”

“...okay,” Virgil replied hesitantly. “Are you okay though?”

“I’m not sure,” Logan said. “Please, continue though, I am genuinely invested in this plot.”

“Okay if you want me to,” Virgil replied. He paused for a moment to see if Logan objected. Clearly he didn’t want to talk about what he had realized, but he said he would tell the whole group so it would probably be okay. But did he really want to continue talking about a fantasy novel. Apparently he did, as he didn’t object, so Virgil continued.

“So, they figure out it is Voldemort, and he sends the basilisk to attack Harry so Harry can’t save Ginny, who is dying. Harry is totally losing until Dumbledore’s Phoenix shows up and gives him the sorting hat, and he pulls out the sword of Gryffindor, which he uses to fight the basilisk cause Voldemort took his wand.”

“Harry is not good at keeping track of his wand,” Logan sighed. “But at least he pulled a _sword_ out of a _hat_.”

“Yeah wait until he loses it in a forest in the fourth book,” Virgil chuckled. “Then breaks it in the seventh.”

“Of course he does,” Logan sighed heavily. 

“Yeah. But anyways, he gets the sword then stabs the basilisk in the mouth, getting his arm impaled on the poisonous teeth in the process, then destroys the diary and saves Ginny. Then he almost dies cause poison, but Dumbledore’s phoenix comes back just in time to cry magic healing tears on his arm and make it all better. Damn, I wish Dumbledore's phoenix would do that for me right now,” Virgil chuckled.

“God same,” Dee groaned from the backseat. 

“I think we all need Fawkes right now honestly,” Virgil sighed. “Anyways, they get out of the chamber, heal the people that were petrified, and all celebrate and shit, then the school year ends and Harry goes back to the Dursley’s because NO ONE IS ADDRESSING THE CLEAR CHILD ABUSE HAPPENING THERE!”

“RIGHT?!” Dee sat up so he could gesture passionately at Virgil. “Dumbledore was _literally_ an abuse enabler!”

“He was! And he was the only character J.K. Rowling said was canonically gay, which is just bad representation.” Virgil grumbled.

“Oh my God thank you!” Dee exclaimed. “Patton loves Dumbledore, I just don’t get it. he’s funny, sure, but he’s an asshole.”

“Yeah, well Patton loves everyone, so I’m not surprised.” Virgil said. “I didn’t realize you two liked Harry Potter though.”

“We’re not heathens, Virgil,” Dee rolled his eyes. “Of course we like Harry Potter.”

“Remus doesn’t, he says it’s too tame, hence why he wasn’t allowed in on Roman and I’s phone calls for two months.” Virgil replied. “I’ve learned to lower my expectations.”

Logan snickered at that. Virgil glanced at him. What was going on? He wanted to say something, but Logan had made it clear he wanted to wait for the whole group, and he had promised not to keep secrets anymore, so Virgil decided to trust that he’d say it when he was ready.

“That is a completely valid reaction,” Dee shook his head. “And just as I was growing to like him.”

“Yeah, well he is a unique person,” Virgil muttered. “Anyways, back to Harry Potter, what’s your favorite book?”

“Prisoner of Azkaban,” Dee answered easily. “The time travel is cool, plus it’s so dramatic. Harry almost commits fucking _murder_ , it’s great.”

“Yeah that’s a good one.” Virgil agreed. He thought about his favorite. It used to be the sixth because Dumbledore is finally revealed for the jerk he is and because Snape is revealed to be less of a jerk, and Virgil had always liked Snape, he had known there was something more to his story. But now with his own memory shit, he wasn’t so sure.

“And yours?” 

“I dunno…” Virgil said. “It used to be the sixth. Now I’m not so sure though… maybe the fifth? I dunno, just a big group of misfits coming together to fight evil, kinda cool.”

“Oh you sappy nerd,” Dee sighed, but his lips twitched into a small smile.

“Shut up,” Virgil mumbled. His shoulder was starting to really hurt from turning to look at Dee, so he turned back to face the front and winced. “Shit,” Virgil muttered. Dee just shifted forward so his head was between Logan’s and Virgil’s.

“You good?” Dee narrowed his eyes.

“Mhmm” Virgil replied through gritted teeth. His pain meds had worn off hours ago. He hadn’t noticed while sitting still and talking to Logan, but he had just been leaning on the thing to look at Dee, and it _hurt_. Virgil felt Dee’s powers flare, damn it he hadn’t thought about that. 

“Okay no, but I can manage,” Virgil admitted.

“Holy shit you finally learned!” Dee gasped. “I’m proud of you, young grasshopper.”

“Oh my God shut up!” Virgil moaned. “How much further? I need more of those pain meds.”

“I believe we’re almost there,” Logan finally spoke up. 

“Good,” Virgil sighed. “Now let’s keep talking, cause I need a distraction until we get there. Who’s your favorite character?”

“Oh, Ginny,” Dee replied. “The book version, where she’s a badass who’ll do anything for her family and won’t take anyone’s shit, not movie version where her only achievement is feeding Harry a cookie.”

“Not what I expected, but fair,” Virgil said. “Mine is Remus Lupin, he’s like a secret badass and I love it. And I think we both found out that Logan’s is Hermione, which is no surprise.”

“That’s because he _is_ our Hermione,” Dee pointed out. Logan just sighed.

“And you’re our Ginny,” Virgil added with a smirk.

“Hell yeah I am,” Dee smirked. “Patton’s definitely Neville.”

“Oh yeah totally. Remus is somehow both of the Weasley twins as one person,” Virgil chipped in.

“Roman’s probably Ron,” Dee mused. “Guess that makes you Harry.”

Virgil just sat quietly for a moment, wondering how they had gotten there. “Um… how though?” Virgil finally asked.

“Well first of all someone has to be,” Dee replied. “Second he’s an angsty sap who is literally completely oblivious, it’s really sad. You’re basically just like him.”

“Wow, okay,” Virgil said. He couldn’t exactly disagree with any of Dee’s points though.

“Don’t get any ideas though,” Dee warned. “I mean, I know I’m a catch, but I’m not letting myself get tied down to a man.”

“Why are you like this!” Virgil groaned, leaning his head back into the seat.

“You know you love me,” Dee teased and ruffled Virgil’s hair. “Without me you wouldn’t be forced to actually talk to people about stuff.” Dee shuddered.

“You’re not wrong,” Virgil admitted.

“We’ve arrived,” Logan interrupted. Virgil glanced out the window to see the others parked and getting out of the car at some random hotel in South Carolina. 

As soon as they’d parked Logan climbed out of the car and stormed toward their other three friends. Virgil felt a telling tug in his chest and hurried to follow, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. What he saw was Remus being pinned to a car by an invisible force he assumed was Logan.

“What the HELL!?” Remus yelled. “I’d say you look hot but you’re clearly mad at me and I am FEARING FOR MY LIFE!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?”

“FOVE!” Logan shouted back. “It’s an anagram, isn’t it?!”

Wait, what? So that’s what freaked Logan out. Damn it. But the bigger question was, was Logan right, and if so, what did it mean? Virgil looked at Remus, who was staring at Logan with fear and sadness in his eyes.

“Yes,” Remus admitted. “Yes, it is.”

“An anagram of what?” Dee asked.

“Faith, Oberon, Erikson,” Logan answered. “And Valley.”

Seriously? After everything, were they really saying Logan’s parents were in the cult too? That had to be wrong! There were plenty of other last names that start with V, right? This couldn’t happen, not now. Logan wouldn’t be able to take it.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Logan told Remus, practically begging. “Tell me I’m wrong, Remus.”

“They wanted out,” Remus said instead. “Your parents wanted out so bad. They tried everything. They didn’t agree with the cults ways but after what happened…” Remus trailed off. “They weren’t bad people.”

“DAMN IT!” Logan screamed. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I was… I wanted to,” Remus said sadly. “But I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m so tired of hurting you guys Logan please, you have to understand. They were trapped in the cult, but not of their own will. They will leave once this is over, I’m sure of it. How does knowing do anything other than hurt you?”

“IT MEANS YOU’VE BEEN LYING TO ME?” Logan shouted as a tear fell from his eye that he wiped away furiously. “I cannot believe you had the AUDACITY to make me promise not to keep secrets. You know so much about me, I gave you a chance, and you _lied to me_.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said. He also looked on the verge of tears now as he spoke. “I’m sorry. There are just some things I don’t know how to tell you guys. I’m so sorry Logan I won’t do it again. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Remus was crying now but Virgil didn’t care. They had all given him a chance, and here he was, asking for forgiveness _again._

“I had a right to know,” Logan whispered in a way that echoed through the entire lot. He shook his head. “I can’t do this right now, I, I have to go. Call me if you need me.”

Remus suddenly fell as Logan released him and Logan stormed away from the hotel. Virgil wanted to go after him, but he had to do something first. He turned to Remus.

“What about my parents?” Virgil asked. “Did you know anything about them that you neglected to tell me?” Remus’s eyes widened, and suddenly he looked even more scared than with Logan. He glanced between Virgil and Roman frantically, before shaking his head.

“There is,” Dee said quietly. “He’s still hiding something.”

“What then?” Virgil snapped at Remus. “What the hell do you know that’s so horrible that you couldn’t tell me!?”

Remus was sobbing as he sat on the concrete. “I… I knew them” Remus started. “They were killed for not being loyal…” Remus trailed off.

Okay, so Virgil had figured most of that out already, although it did confirm that the demon was right about them being dead. But the way Remus was acting… was there something else?

“You’re still hiding something,” Roman spoke up quietly. “You _promised_ me no more secrets _Remus_ , so stop it! What aren’t you telling him!”

“I KILLED THEM!” Remus shouted, shocking everyone. “I killed them so... so Fove wouldn’t k-kill Roman. It’s how I p-proved… how I proved my loyalty.”

Virgil didn’t hear the rest of the conversation. He didn’t get the pain meds he so desperately needed as every step he ran sent pain through him, he just ran. He didn’t know where he was going, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t think, he just knew he had to get out. He could barely see through the tears in his eyes but he kept going, stumbling as he tried to get as far away from this whole horrid situation as possible. He wanted to get away from everything. From the curse, from the memories, from the voice, from himself. He just needed to get away.

Virgil wasn’t sure how far he got but eventually he found himself on the ground, back against a building, breathing rapidly. Remus had killed his parents. His parents had tried to get out, had tried to save their family, and Remus had killed them. How could Virgil ever forgive him for that? He didn’t think he could. He would never get to meet his parents as Virgil, and it was because of what Remus did.

But… but if Remus hadn’t done it he never would have found Roman. Virgil didn’t know who he would be without Roman. But who would he be without his birth parents either? Probably the same person considering his own parents erased his memory of them. But that was probably to keep Virgil safe. They had sacrificed their son, and their lives to try to escape Fove, and Virgil was sitting here, sobbing, instead of working to finish what they stated. He had to end Fove. For them.

With only his anger and confusion and sadness in mind, Virgil didn’t heed Patton’s warnings. He got up, still breathing too short to be healthy, but he didn’t care. He scrambled to find things to represent the elements, before laying them out and creating a spell circle. He pulled out the spell book… the one Remus had given him. He shoved that back into his bag angrily before pulling out the scroll… another thing from Remus. Finally he came across his notes from Logan’s lessons, the only things he could use right now without screaming, and opened the book roughly. 

He drew sigils all over the sidewalk, though few of them worked due to his messy right handed drawing. By the time he got to the eighth sigil and only two had been successful, he was fucking done. He threw the chalk to the ground and stomped on it again and again and again until it was just a pile of white dust on the concrete. That was when he fully broke.

He started yelling and screaming as he slammed his fists into the invisible barrier of the spell circle, not even caring how the jolts caused his shoulder to flare up every time. He picked up his backpack and threw it at the barrier, just for it to go right through because it was not magic, so instead he picked up the scroll, which bounced off of it every time Virgil threw it.

Virgil wasn’t sure how long he did this before his knees finally gave out and he fell back to the ground. He was so confused and overwhelmed, he couldn’t even process this new information. All he knew was that Remus had blown his second chance. 

“Virgil?!” He heard Dee calling. “Damn it, where the hell did you go?!”

Virgil choked back another sob as he heard his friend's voice. God he needed help. He was in so much pain, physically and mentally. But he couldn’t will himself to call out, so he just stayed there, shaking and fighting for air as he struggled to open the spell circle so Dee could help. He needed help. A pained yelp escaped Virgil’s mouth as he began opening the circle, swaying on his feet as he was so lightheaded, and he heard Dee’s voice call out again.

“Shit, Virgil was that you?” Dee said. “Oh shit, his shoulder, fuck. Come on, kid, where are-Virgil!”

Then Dee’s hand was on the barrier Virgil was trying to remove and he was standing outside of it too. Virgil’s tears fell faster as his desperation grew. He stumbled as he turned, trying to get the last two incantations done, but his voice wasn’t cooperating.

“Come on, Virgil, you can do this,” Dee encouraged him. “You have been through so much shit you are not going to get beaten by your own goddamn spell circle. You can do this, I know it!”

Virgil forced out the final words, though it took everything he had left, and as the circle fell Virgil collapsed back onto the ground with another groan of pain. Dee hurried to his side so fast that he actually slid on the ground a little. He carefully wrapped his arm around Virgil so Virgil was leaning on his good side against Dee’s chest. Virgil couldn’t stop shaking and he couldn’t breathe but he was so desperate for the comfort he leaned as close to Dee as he could. 

“I know buddy, I know,” Dee muttered. He was using his free arm to do something but Virgil couldn’t tell. Next thing he knew Dee was holding up a water bottle. “This is gonna taste like shit but otherwise you’re gonna choke, so drink some of this. I’ll hold it, we’ll do a little at a time, got it? Just nod your head yes or no.”

Virgil hesitated before giving a small, shaky nod. Dee lifted the water bottle to his lips and tilted it just slightly so Virgil could take a small sip. It was absolutely disgusting, but Virgil still took a sip. Dee said it would help. And he needed help. He was scared.

“There you go, that’s it,” Dee muttered soothingly. “It’s got pain meds in it, it’ll help your shoulder.” Virgil gave a small nod as Dee helped him take another sip.

It went on like this for a while, until Dee had finally gotten Virgil to drink it all. Virgil took the last sip then immediately let his head drop to Dee’s shoulder. Dee carelessly tossed the empty plastic bottle aside and wrapped his other arm around Virgil in the best way he could without messing with Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil was still shaking violently and his breaths were coming in small gasps. He knew there was something he was supposed to do when he was like this. Something about counting breaths? But he couldn’t remember exactly, so he just sat there, leaning against Dee and sobbing.

“I don’t know what you do, so I’m just gonna do what I did with Pat, okay?” Dee said. Virgil gave a nod so small he wasn’t sure Dee could tell, but apparently he could because he continued. Dee adjusted him slightly so his head was on Dee’s chest instead of his shoulder, just over his heart. “Just listen to my heartbeat, okay? Focus on that, not all the other bullshit.”

Virgil didn’t reply, but he did follow Dee’s instructions. He pressed his ear against Dee’s chest and listened closely, having trouble finding the sound of Dee’s heart over his own breathing. Eventually he found it and he focused on it as much as he could. He tapped the beat on Dee’s knee with his right hand as he listened. He had to focus on this. This would help. Dee was helping him.

“Now we’re gonna breathe, Oreo, okay?” Dee said next. “You don’t have to count, just feel me breathe and breathe with me, okay?”

Virgil couldn’t speak, and he didn’t want to lose the heartbeat by moving his head, so he just tapped Dee’s knee an extra time to indicate that he had heard him. Dee seemed to get it as he carefully breathed in slowly. Virgil struggled to follow, but he tried, and Dee seemed satisfied with Virgil’s attempts. Dee continued to breathe at a slow, consistent pace until Virgil was mostly able to follow it and his violent shaking had become more like small shivers.

“You’re doing amazing,” Dee praised. “Just a few more, okay?”

“Okay,” Virgil whispered, his voice barely making any sound with his throat raw from screaming. He followed Dee’s breaths a few more times until Dee finally seemed satisfied with Virgil’s breathing.

“There you go,” Dee said. “That was fucking perfect Virgil.”

“Yay,” Virgil mumbled half-heartedly. He wasn’t really shaking anymore, but tears were still falling down his face and he didn’t want to move from his spot on Dee. He took another breath as he leaned further against Dee, letting Dee take some more of his weight as he recovered. Dee didn’t complain, just tightened his arms around him. 

Finally, Virgil’s tears began to slow. The more his panic faded the more he noticed the pain in his shoulder, which was dulled by the medicine but still much more than it had been before. Virgil’s hand had stilled on Dee’s knee as his brain tried to catch up with what all had just happened. Dee lowered one of his arms and held out his hand, wiggling his fingers a bit. Virgil got the message as he began playing with Dee’s fingers, the repetitive motions helping to calm him down further.

“This might be a stupid question,” Dee muttered. “But how are you feeling? You do have to be honest, but you don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. I’m not _that_ much of an ass.”

“Tired,” Virgil started. “Also overwhelmed. And my shoulder hurts. I’m sorry you had to deal with this Dee.” Virgil’s apology probably would have meant more if he had even attempted to get off of Dee, but he didn’t move. He didn’t think he could.

“Janus.”

“Huh?” Virgil asked. “Thought you didn’t want us to call you that?”

“I don’t _let_ anyone call me it,” Dee corrected him. “I fucking love the name, but I was bullied for it until high school when I started going by my middle name.”

“I’m not gonna bully you, Janus,” Virgil said. “I have no right. My name was Angelo.”

Janus snickered. “Yeah that’s fair. Also, that’s kinda why I told you. I, uh, I trust you guys.”

“I trust you too,” Virgil replied. “And Janus is a cool name. I like it.”

“Thanks,” Janus muttered. He didn’t sound sarcastic though, it sounded like he meant it. “Now I kinda wanna check your shoulder. I’m no expert, but considering shit was spilled out of your backpack I’m gonna assume you threw it.”

“Yeah,” Virgil admitted. “I also hit some stuff too.” He added, noticing for the first time the small cuts on his right knuckles from hitting the barrier of the spell circle.

“You know, I wanna be pissed but I’d probably do the same thing,” Janus shrugged with the shoulder Virgil wasn’t leaning on. “Alright so we’re gonna pull down the sleeve on one side, not take it off, I don’t need you screaming again.”

“Okay,” Virgil mumbled, embarrassed. He sat up slightly and winced as his stiff body and injured shoulder objected to the movement. How long had he been laying there? Janus untied the sling and unbuttoned the top few buttons of Virgil’s shirt. He sighed in a certain way that abruptly reminded Virgil that Janus was an older brother.

“Of course,” Janus sighed again. “I don’t think you tore the stitches. At least I hope you didn’t because that is not the way I wanted Pat to become a murderer. But it is bleeding a little.” 

“‘M sorry,” Virgil muttered. He had said he would stop doing these stupid things and then he just ran off and reopened his injury. He was such an idiot. He’d rather these self deprecating thoughts to thinking about what he had just learned though, so he went with them.

“You’re forgiven this time,” Janus said. “Only because of circumstances. Don’t think I’ve gone soft.”

“Okay,” Virgil chuckled. “How long have I been gone? Shit I probably freaked everyone out again.”

“Kinda yeah,” Janus admitted. “But I texted the server when I found you, so they’re probably mostly chill now. Logan texted a while back too, but he still hasn’t gone back. Said he needed a bit of time alone or something.”

Oh no. Logan. Virgil had almost forgotten about what had happened with Logan. He needed to pull himself together. He had to be ready to help whenever Logan was ready to talk. He took a deep breath and went to push himself off the ground, but failed as he ended up losing his balance and instinctively catching himself with his left arm, as it was not restricted by the sling at the moment.

“FUCK!” Virgil shouted, before recovering a bit of his dignity. “Shit, sorry, lost my balance.”

“Dude he said he needed time alone,” Janus pointed out, not even acknowledging Virgil’s apology at this point. “You don’t need to go running over there to just wait on his ass. We can wait here. No one expects you to be okay after that. You can take some time too.”

“I’d actually rather not think about _that_.” Virgil mumbled. “I’m a lot better at running away from my problems than dealing with them.”

“And how’s that been going for you so far?” Janus raised an eyebrow at him.

“Horribly,” Virgil admitted. “But hey, I’m alive and functioning, so that’s something.”

“Alive, yes. Functioning, that’s debatable. Look I know that out of the options I’m probably not the first person you’d wanna go to for comfort, but if you want to talk then I can listen. I’ll even talk too, if that helps.”

Virgil hesitated. He didn’t want to talk at all. But he also knew if he didn’t talk he’d do something self-destructive, and that would probably mess with his ability to do the spell, and he couldn’t let that happen. Virgil sighed and placed his head back on Janus’s shoulder.

“My parents will never get to meet _me_.” Virgil finally said. “But if they were alive to meet me, Roman would be dead. I just don’t know what to think. I’m mad at Remus but I’m also so glad Roman is in my life. And then there’s the fact that, with Remus’s information and my memories, it’s pretty easy to figure out my parents did everything they did to protect me, so does that prove the demon right? Was it my fault? I just… I don’t know what to think so I’m thinking it all at once and it’s a lot.”

“Well for the Remus thing, you don’t have to pick a side,” Janus started. “You can be pissed and still be happy you met Roman. Feelings aren’t fucking linear. They’re like a mess of yarn. A shit ton happening all at once and there’s a ton of knots and half the time you don’t know where both ends are. But you can unravel them after a _lot_ of time and effort. You can feel multiple things at once.”

“I know, I just don’t like it.” Virgil said.

“Well I’d hope not, otherwise you’d be basically insane.”

Virgil chuckled. He snuggled closer to Janus and sighed. He didn’t say anything else. He knew Janus was right, but he had started looking at the mess, and he was going to tackle it more later. Right now he was tired and sore and Janus was warm and comforting, and he was going to take advantage of it.

“As for the other shit, it’s not your fault,” Janus assured him, his voice a lot gentler. “Like, here, if I died to keep Patton safe. Would he be pissed? Obviously, and knowing him he’d probably blame himself. And yeah, I’d be upset probably that I never got to see him graduate or anything, but I also wouldn’t regret it one bit. Also, same scenario, would you blame Patton?”

“No, though I’d be pissed at you,” Virgil admitted. “I’d miss you.”

“Oh...thanks,” Janus said, his voice breaking a little before he cleared his throat. “But you see what I mean? It’s not your fault. You’ve got a fucking bad habit of blaming yourself for other people’s choices.”

“Yeah I see your point,” Virgil sighed. “Just a little harder to get through my head when a demon flat out told me it was my fault. I know he was just trying to get under my skin, but it worked.”

“Hey maybe it got him a raise,” Janus shrugged with one shoulder. Virgil smirked.

“It’s gonna feel so good when I get to banish him forever with that damn spell.” Virgil said, the idea making him feel a bit better. “I’ll be in control for once, not him.”

“Hell yeah, you tell him,” Janus snickered. “He’s a little bitch, treat him like one.”

“That’s the plan,” Virgil replied. They sat in silence for a moment, Virgil just enjoying Janus’s presence, before Virgil spoke again.

“Thank you for this, Janus,” Virgil said. “I… I needed help and I really appreciate you being there. Thank you.”

“Patton isn’t my only little brother, Oreo,” Janus replied. Virgil glanced up at him with a shy smile.

“Why Marshmallow and Oreo?” Virgil asked, both looking for a lighter topic and also genuinely curious as to how he ended up with the nickname Oreo.

“Because Patton is fluffy and way too sweet for his own good,” Janus answered. “Plus I gave to him when we were kids and it kinda stuck. As for you, I was kinda committed to the sweets theme at that point. So Oreo, ‘cause you’ve got the whole ‘looks they could kill you is actually a cinnamon roll’ thing going on.”

“Hey I could totally kill you!” Virgil objected, but he was smiling. He had been jealous of Remus’s and Roman’s relationship before this, then Pat’s and Janus during all of this. He had never thought he would finally get to be part of a sibling relationship like that, but here he was. He loved it.

“Uh-huh, sure,” Janus said half-heartedly. 

“So…” Virgil started. “Does this mean I’m like, your honorary little brother or something? I’ve always wanted a sibling…”

“At this point I don’t even think it’s honorary,” Janus admitted. “I’m getting emancipated after all this bullshit is over and if Patton wants I’m gonna be his legal guardian, I could do the same for you if you really wanted. Plus it’s either this or you get adopted by a fifteen-year-old.”

“I…” Virgil started, caught off guard by the offer. His parents had been great the last four years, but they had also been lying. And he didn’t think they knew about his magic, and he wasn’t sure he could pretend it didn’t exist after all of this. “I think I might actually like that.” Virgil admitted after a moment.

“The legal guardian thing or getting adopted by Patton?” Janus teased.

“Well I think it’s kind of a package deal.” Virgil pointed out.

“That’s probably true,” Janus admitted. “You don’t have to decide right now by the way. You can have some time to think, this is a serious-ass thing.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it,” Virgil said. “Are you sure you’d be okay with it?”

“If you asked me like a week ago I’d probably say no. But yeah. Yeah I would. You’re a good kid, Virgil.”

Virgil smiled and leaned back slightly so he could wrap his good arm around Janus and pull him into a hug. Janus held him that much tighter. They stayed like that for a little while until Janus sighed and pulled back.

“We do have to get back,” Janus said. “I’m not a doctor, you should really have Pat look at your shoulder.”

“Or,” Virgil countered. “We could not do that ‘cause if I don’t move then it doesn’t hurt too bad. And I would definitely have to move to get back.”

“You want me to carry you?” Janus offered. Virgil couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

“I’ve got it,” Virgil sighed as he carefully pushed himself to his feet. He looked around and noticed just what a mess the area was. There was broken chalk all over the sidewalk. His backpack was laying on the ground a few years away, with books and pencils that had fallen out when he threw it scattered all over the place. The scroll was on the ground, looking unharmed thankfully, and some of his symbols for the elements had gotten knocked over.

“I guess I should probably pick some of this up.” Virgil said.

“I’ll help,” Janus volunteered then smirked. “And in return you tell no one that I was this nice. I have a reputation, you know.”

Virgil chuckled. “Yeah, okay. I’ll get the scroll though.” Virgil began moving toward the scroll ever so slowly, each step sending a jolt of pain through his shoulder. He finally got to the scroll and picked it up. He turned around to see Janus had already gotten everything else back into Virgil’s bag, which he brought over for Virgil to slide the scroll into, careful not to let it bump Janus. Then Janus held up the sling. Virgil groaned, but nodded for him to put it on, cause he had to admit it did help. Both because it kept his arm still and physically restricted Virgil from using it instinctively. Janus got his arm set pretty quick but without hurting it too much and tied the cloth behind his head.

“You ready?” Janus asked. 

“I think so,” Virgil said, wiping any remaining tears off with his right hand. “Lets go.”

They both started walking in the direction that apparently led to the hotel, though Virgil didn’t recognize anything they were walking past. They were walking painfully slow as Virgil was trying not to jostle his now reopened shoulder wound too much and failing miserably.

“Shit,” Virgil muttered as he took another step. “Damn it it was not this bad earlier!”

“Yeah you just reopened it, dumbass,” Janus sighed. “Fuck it, here, just get on my back.”

“Wait what?” Virgil asked. “I thought you were kidding about carrying me!”

“Yeah I was till now,” Janus replied. “Now I’m offering and you’re going to take it or I’m telling Patton so you have to deal with his Dad Lecture.”

“Okay fine.” Virgil caved quickly, not wanting to risk anymore Dad Lecture than what he was likely already going to get. 

Janus kneeled down and Virgil got on his back clumsily, wrapping his good arm around his neck tightly, but not so tight he couldn’t breathe. Janus carefully stood again and Virgil felt a momentary panic before realizing there was no way Janus was gonna drop him, so he relaxed. Janus was careful to walk as smoothly as possible, and though there were still a few muttered curses from Virgil, it was much better than when he had been walking. Janus carried him into the hotel room where Patton was standing between Remus and Roman. They immediately stopped talking when they came in, and Janus set Virgil on the couch before turning to the others.

“Look we’re all pissed the fuck off right now,” Janus started. “But I also don’t give a shit at the moment because Patton needs to check out Virgil’s shoulder. So, that means you two take a pause and you can resume the murder shit in the morning. Am I clear?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Roman groaned before sitting down next to Virgil and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “What did you do? Are you okay?”

“I punched a barrier and threw some shit, and are you really asking me that second question?” Virgil replied, motioning to what a mess he was. His hair was a disaster, his eyes were still red from crying, his voice was still slightly rough from screaming and he didn’t doubt his face was still splotchy as well. 

“I meant physically,” Roman sighed. “I don’t even need to ask about emotionally.”

“I reopened my shoulder and it hurts, but other than that yeah I’m fine.” Virgil said. “What about you though? How are you doing? Emotionally, I mean.”

“I have no idea, so I’ve decided to focus on ‘pissed the fuck off’,” Roman snarled. 

“That’s fair,” Virgil sighed. “Anything I can do?”

“Not unless you can convince Mom and Dad over there to let me kill my twin,” Roman sighed. “But that’s not important, I’m a lot more worried about you. What do you need from me?”

Virgil wanted to push more, but he was so exhausted and in so much pain and he just didn’t have the energy. “Just stay with me?” Virgil asked, sounding small even to himself.

Roman took his good hand. “Always.”

“He can even stay right there while I check out your shoulder, okay kiddo?” Patton cut in, his first aid supplies in hand. Virgil nodded, focusing on Roman because he knew this would probably hurt.

Patton unbuttoned the shirt a little more than Janus had to get a good look. There was a nice red spot on the bandages, though thankfully none had gotten on the shirt. Patton was just working on getting the bandages off while Virgil was gripping Roman’s hand for dear life when the door opened.

“I left you alone for two hours!” Logan exclaimed. “When Dee said you all would die without me I assumed he was joking.”

“Yeah well I’d probably have died if Janus hadn’t found me,” Virgil muttered, remembering how desperate and crazy he had been. He hadn’t been able to breath. He shook off the memory and looked back at Logan. “How are you doing?”

“WAIT!” Patton cut in, looking between Virgil and Janus. “You’re not gonna kill him? Does that mean you gave him _permission_!? I’m so proud of you kiddo!” Patton looked like he wanted to hug Janus, but his hands were occupied so he went with smiling at him.

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever,” Janus muttered. “And yes, you can do it too. Can we move on now?”

“Okay but you are definitely getting a hug when I’m done with this,” Patton replied, still grinning as he went back to work.

“Logan?” Virgil prompted for him to answer his previous question. “How are you holding up over there?”

“I’m fine,” Logan said, pointedly not even looking in Remus’s general direction.

“Okay, please give me something more than that,” Virgil sighed. “The whole ‘I’m fine’ thing works just about as well when you say it as it does when I say it. I’m not asking for everything, just… give me an honest answer. Please.”

“I’m barely keeping myself from destroying this hotel and everyone in it,” Logan deadpanned and raised an eyebrow. “Happy?”

“Yes.” Virgil said, now noticing how much more intense Logan’s abilities felt right now. “Would you agree to go throw some shit with me once Patton’s done with my shoulder? You’ve gotta let some of that out.” Patton glared at Virgil and he quickly added. “I won’t throw anything else I promise. Just Logan doing the throwing.”

Virgil really was tired and he wasn’t sure he had the energy to go anywhere with Logan right now, but he would find it. He had let Logan get away with his power buildup for too long. If he had been more vigilant about it before then maybe things would have gone differently, and maybe Logan wouldn’t be dealing with the mental backlash of killing four people. He couldn’t change what had already happened, but he was determined to keep it from happening again.

“Perhaps tomorrow,” Logan said. “Not...not tonight.”

“Okay, tomorrow.” Virgil agreed before he felt Patton pull off another piece of bandage “Shit!”

“Language kiddo,” Patton sighed, though he didn’t sound like he was really reprimanding Virgil, it sounded more like he was saying it out of habit at this point.

“Well then maybe you should just leave my shoulder alone,” Virgil muttered.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have run off and reopened it,” Patton countered. “Look, I’m not mad kiddo, after what you learned I understand. But just be more careful, okay?”

“Okay dad,” Virgil sighed. Patton pulled off another layer and Virgil squeezed Roman’s hand even harder. “Damn it!”

“What exactly happened?” Logan asked. He was now standing just in front of Roman with his arms tightly crossed.

“I may have ran, thrown a bunch of stuff and punched the barriers of my spell circle,” Virgil blurted out. He knew Logan was not gonna be happy with him.

“You fucking…” Logan sighed and pushed his glasses onto his head to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Of course you did.”

“Sorry,” Virgil mumbled, He was beginning to feel like it was all he ever said to Logan. He just kept screwing up. He honestly wasn’t sure why Logan stuck around at this point.

“Can I ask why?”

“Um… well…” Virgil really didn’t want to upset Logan any more, but he knew Logan had a right to know, and he had said he would stop keeping secrets from him. “Well, you weren’t the only person Remus was keeping something from.”

Virgil felt the slightest tug in his chest.

“What did he do now?” Logan growled.

“I… I’m not sure you wanna know,” Virgil said. “Maybe I can tell you tomorrow once you’ve had more time to process your own shit?”

“Virgil,” Logan warned.

“He killed my parents to protect Roman and prove his loyalty to Fove.” Virgil blurted out.

A hotel vase flew across the room and smashed against the wall. 

“He what?” Logan replied, way too calmly.

“My parents were disloyal... they wanted to protect me,” Virgil started hesitantly, “So Remus killed them in order to protect Roman, and to prove his loyalty.” Patton took off the last layer of bandages, getting a yell from Virgil before Logan replied.

“I changed my mind,” Logan declared. “I’m going to throw shit because otherwise he’s the one getting thrown. Virgil you’re not going, do not even attempt to volunteer to come with me.”

But… but Virgil had to go. He had to help. 

“But-” Virgil protested, but Logan cut him off.

“I would love for you to accompany me,” Logan promised. “However you are both weak and injured at the moment, and I cannot take you with me in good conscience.”

“I’ll go,” Janus shrugged. “Apparently I make a pretty good therapist.”

“He does,” Virgil admitted. He really wanted to go, but Logan was right, he was exhausted. “Just, promise I can come next time you go throw shit?”

“Of course, darling,” Logan finally cracked the tiniest of smiles before he kissed Virgil’s temple and left with Janus.

“You’re about to tell me you have to clean it and it’s gonna hurt, aren’t you?” Virgil asked before Patton could speak.

“Yeah I was,” Patton sighed. 

“Great. Fucking brilliant,” Virgil sighed and looked at Roman before using his hand to tug him a little closer. “Okay, go for it.”

The second the towel hit Virgil’s shoulder it exploded in pain. He now understood why Patton had him asleep for this last time. However, he was getting used to all this pain, so he was able to keep his reactions more minimal. He sat there muttering curses and gritting his teeth until Patton was done. Roman just sat there letting Virgil practically abuse his hand as he squeezed it and ran his other hand through Virgil’s hair like he always did.

When Patton finished cleaning it he agreed to give Virgil a couple minutes before doing the new bandages, though not too long or it would ruin the point of cleaning it. Virgil finally looked over at Remus, who was sitting in a corner, his face in his hands and his shoulders shaking. Virgil almost felt a little bad for him, but he wasn’t going to say that, as he was still extremely upset over the still very fresh news about his parent’s deaths. Roman distracted him by taking his hand back and wailing about how his hand was broken and would never be the same again.

Virgil laughed and took back the hand, which was actually pretty red, and brought it to his lips to give it a kiss. “There, all better.” Virgil said.

“Well of course it is,” Roman smirked. “True love’s kiss cures everything.”

“Well then where is mine for my dumb shoulder!” Virgil whined dramatically. If Roman could be dramatic for distraction, so could he.

Roman leaned down and kissed the skin around the wound and then pecked Virgil’s lips as well. “There’s another for good luck.”

“Yay! I’m all better now!” Virgil grinned. 

“I do so enjoy saving damsels-in-distress,” Roman teased.

“Hey I’m no damsel!” Virgil objected. As a teenager with anxiety, he couldn’t object to being called ‘in-distress’, but he could definitely object to damsel.

“Of course not, my love.” Roman patted Virgil’s head. “Of course not.”

“While this is adorable,” Patton cut in and Virgil sighed, knowing what was coming. “I do have to get those bandages on kiddo.”

“Yeah, okay, get it over with,” Virgil sighed before looking back at Roman. “You keep distracting me Princey, you’re good at it.”

“I could take my shirt off, that usually works,” Roman smirked.

“Of course that’s the first distraction you think of,” Virgil replied through his teeth. Patton had started putting on the new bandages and Virgil was gritting his teeth and gripping Roman’s hand again, but he was still going to participate in this distracting conversation.

“I’m upset you expected anything less!” Roman exclaimed.

“Oh, that’s the least you’ll do?” Virgil muttered, pausing for a couple whispered curses here and there. “So what’s the most?”

“Making out with you right now,” Roman shrugged nonchalantly. “Only because there are other people in the room. Normally, I’d be willing to do more.” Roman fucking _winked_.

“Of course you would,” Virgil sighed, but he was beginning to smile again. Patton was almost done and then he could actually snuggle with Roman and relax, which he so desperately needed to do.

“Sorry have you looked in a mirror?” Roman quirked an eyebrow. “Can you blame me?” Virgil made an undignified squeaking sound that had Patton giggling as he felt his face burn red.

“I-” Virgil started, stuttering in his flustered state. “I… okay.”

“You’re just lucky Logan’s not here to agree with me,” Roman muttered, not at all trying to be secretive. They heard a muffled sob from Remus at the mention of Logan, but they all seemed to unanimously agree to ignore it.

“Well,” Virgil started, searching his flustered brain for a remark and coming up blank. “Well… mer.”

“That’s all you got?” Roman sighed. “Come on, I know you can do better than that Uma Thurman.”

“I am flustered and in pain so mer is the best I’ve got, deal with it Princey,” Virgil muttered, his face growing redder by the moment. He winced as Patton tugged the bandages tighter, but Roman’s distraction was _definitely_ working to help keep his mind off of it.

“Yeah but you’re always flustered when I’m in the room.”

“Shut up,” Virgil mumbled. He paused before adding. “I’d like to think the same goes for you though.”

“You’re not wrong,” Roman admitted. “I do get flustered when I see myself.”

“Woooow,” Virgil sighed. “I mean, I can’t blame you, but _still_.”

“I mean there is also this one guy who gets me pretty flustered,” Roman mused. “Maybe you’ve met him? Pale, different color eyes, makes bad decisions?”

“Hmm,” Virgil paused, giving Roman a teasing smile. “Not sure I know the guy? Can I get a name?”

“I’ll give you a hint,” Roman said. “Starts with a ‘V’, and he just got a new last name.”

Patton cut off the remaining bandages and gave Virgil’s shoulder a quick squeeze to indicate he was done before walking over to bring Remus a glass of water.

“Oh, yeah, I know him,” Virgil grinned, leaning forward so their lips brushed against each other. “Names Virgil, right?”

“Mhmm,” Roman hummed before closing that last speck of distance. Virgil sighed and leaned into the kiss happily, before breaking apart so he could lean onto Roman entirely with his good side, letting Roman take some of the weight he was carrying, both physically and emotionally. Roman slid an arm behind him and Virgil felt the fingers of his other hand thread into his hair. Virgil felt his eyes fill with tears again, but this time in relief as Roman held him, keeping him safe from everything that had tried to hurt him these past few weeks.

“I’m here,” Roman said against his lips. “I’ll always protect you. You’re safe with me.”

“Thank you,” Virgil sighed. He had needed this so much more than he had even realized. He felt a tear fall as he snuggled closer to Roman. Roman immediately wiped it away before running his hand through Virgil’s hair again. 

“Always, my little Venus,” Roman muttered. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave a comment!!! We'll see you guys next Sunday!!!  
> Also, shout out to the menono1011 left a comment on Salem's end actually correctly guessing about what happened to Virgil's parents, you really sent us into a panic with that comment guessing correctly lol


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Sunday again kiddos!!! This is another long one, so I hope you enjoy!!!  
> Trigger Warnings:  
> suicidal thoughts, panic attack, pain, dysphoria, anxiety, self-deprecation, self-blame, anger, talk of adoption, kidnapping, injuries, pain meds, unconscious self harm, mentions of murder and lying  
> That should be it I think. Let me know if I missed anything!!!  
> also, there are a couple paragraphs of Remus perspective in there. I have it labeled where it switches, just thought I'd warn y'all. Also Remus's perspective is where you would find most of the suicidal thoughts, if not all of them, so if that may trigger you you can skip it, it isn't too important to the plot.

Virgil fell asleep on the couch in Roman’s arms, and he didn’t have any dreams, his boyfriend protecting him and keeping him safe. It felt like it had been no time at all when he felt something warm and soft on his cheeks and lips. Someone kissing him away gently. He shifted slightly, but sleep drew him as he kept his eyes closed, not ready to return to the world. He felt another kiss on his forehead. Well, whoever was waking him up was being incredibly nice about it, so he should probably cooperate to some extent.

“Wake up, love,” Logan’s voice. He must have been the one kissing him awake.

Virgil let out a tired groan and shifted again. This time it wasn’t just the millimeter it was last time, and it actually caused his shoulder to shift slightly. Pain shot through his arm as his eyes shot open and a hiss of pain escaped his mouth. Great, wonderful way to start the morning.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked.

Virgil stayed quiet for a moment, allowing the pain to fade enough that it couldn’t be heard in his voice before giving Logan a small smile. “Yeah I’m good.”

“Then perhaps the three of us should move to an actual bed?” Logan said. “Sleeping on the couch would not be good for any of us, you most of all.”

“But I’m comfy,” Virgil muttered, not fully awake and definitely not wanting to move. He carefully snuggled his head closer against Roman. “Moving would hurt. Don’t wanna move.”

“Logan’s right, cariño,” Roman spoke up. “Staying on the couch would hurt a lot more.” 

“Fine.” Virgil gave in reluctantly, lifting his head once more and internally wincing at the pain the movement caused in his shoulder. 

Logan wrapped his arm around Virgil to help support his shoulder as he stood up. The movement still caused some discomfort but with Logan’s help it was bearable as they stumbled into the bedroom. Roman was the first onto the bed as he laid himself down right in the center and held out his arms on either side of him for Logan and Virgil. Virgil shared a look with Logan, before they went to opposite sides of the bed and climbed in, Virgil muttering a few curses under his breath, too quiet for the others to hear. He struggled to get comfortable as no matter what position he was in, it seemed to cause some level of pain in his shoulder. Eventually, he found the least painful position and managed to drift off into a light sleep.

It must have been barely an hour later when he woke up again, the pain meds having fully worn off. Even the slight shift caused by a deep breath sent pain shooting through his shoulder. He was beginning to realize just how much his outburst had affected his injury and tried to relax with no success, realizing there was no way he’d be able to fall back to sleep without more medication. But that would also involve getting up, which would hurt like hell. He had finally determined that he was just going to lay there awake for the rest of the night, in pain, instead of risking the pain from getting up, when he heard a small groan from the kitchen. 

‘What the hell,’ Virgil thought to himself as he forced himself to sit up slightly, biting his lip to keep any sound from escaping. That was when he noticed that Logan was no longer in the bed.

‘Damn it Logan, what did you do this time?’ Virgil sighed and resigned himself to more pain as he carefully, and very slowly, made his way out of the bed, muttering curses under his breath and biting his lip hard to keep from waking anyone. It was easier to keep his pained outbursts to a minimum when he was ready for the pain, but if he forgot and it surprised him like had been happening a lot recently, that was when he would often yelp or hiss. But right now, he was expecting it, so he had it more under control.

He finally got himself out of bed and began shuffling toward the door, every movement agony as pain shot down his arm when he stepped too hard or quickly. He tried to loosen his bite on his lip, not wanting to make it bleed again, instead curling his hands into tight fists in an attempt to channel his pain, or give himself other pain to focus on. Honestly, he wasn’t sure, but all he knew is that it wasn’t working very well and he was likely going to have crescent shaped cuts on his palms by the end of this.

Finally, fucking finally, he made it to the door and carefully opened it and saw Logan, facing away from him in the kitchen with the first aid kit. Virgil shuffled slightly closer, keeping his hands tightly curled and teeth clenched, until he couldn’t take it anymore and spoke from where he stood, a couple yards away from Logan.

“Logan?” Virgil asked, hoping his voice didn’t sound as strained as it felt. “What are you doing?”

“Virgil!” Logan said, sounding surprised. He must not have noticed him. Damn, Virgil was better at keeping quiet while in pain than he thought. Or maybe he had just trained himself well since the whole shirt thing with Roman. “What are you doing awake? You need to rest.”

“‘M fine,” Virgil muttered, though Logan hadn’t technically asked. He forced his feet to move forward once more and bit his lip, walking around Logan to see what he was doing. He saw him attempting to wrap bandages around his split knuckles. It must have happened at some point after Remus told him about his parents. Virgil sighed, ignoring the slight increase in pain the breath caused, it being nothing compared to walking.. “Damn it Logan. Here, let me help.”

Logan sighed as he began to hand Virgil the bandages and Virgil tried to focus on taking them but small black spots were dancing around his vision and the pain was just so overwhelming. But he could deal with that after he helped Logan. Suddenly, Logan paused, the bandages in his hand halfway between them.

“Virgil you did not answer my question,” Logan finally seemed to notice.

“Meds wore off,” Virgil said, too tired and in too much pain to lie, but also too determined to help to let this go. He had to do something, anything other than being in pain, even if that thing happened to put him in more pain. “I’m gonna get more after I help you.”

“No, take more medication first,” Logan demanded.

“No I’m okay,” Virgil protested, reaching out to grab the bandages with his right arm. The movement caused a slight shift in his left shoulder and he had to bite back a yelp, but from the look on Logan’s face he had failed to entirely hide it. Logan moved the bandages out of Virgil’s reach. “Just let me help you first.”

“Virgil you will not be much help if your hands are shaking from pain,” Logan said. Huh, Virgil’s hands were shaking. He hadn’t noticed that before. He also still had his left hand in a tight fist. He just prayed it wouldn’t leave a mark, but no matter how much he knew he should he couldn’t loosen the grip. It was the only thing left keeping him grounded. “Please, it will only take you a moment. I’ll get you a glass of water and you can take the pills, then help me while we wait for them to kick in, alright?”

“No, you’re not moving,” Virgil objected before letting out a pained, defeated sigh. He had to admit, part of him was relieved, because damn it he wasn’t sure he could take another minute of this. “I’ll get the water.”

Without giving Logan a chance to argue further, Virgil shuffled his way over to the sink, his left arm pressed tightly against his body and his left hand still in a tight fist as he got himself a glass of water. He returned to Logan, not even bothering to try and hide the immense pain from his eyes as he carefully took the medication. He knew it would take about half an hour to kick in, but he was still going to help Logan.

“I’m helping now,” Virgil forced out. He took the bandages and attempted to wrap them, very much struggling with his one, slightly shaky hand. Logan placed a hand over his.

“Let me help as well,” Logan said. Virgil nodded, unable to form words anymore through the pain. He blinked back tears and continued to bite his lip and clench his fist as him and Logan got the bandages around Logan’s knuckles. Then, Virgil turned to the pain medication and handed it to Logan.

“You take them too,” Virgil demanded.

“I’ll be alright, I assure you,” Logan replied. “The pain is infinitesimal, I can manage. I inflicted this upon myself, I can handle the consequences.” 

“Don’t care, you’re taking them or I’ll stop taking them,” Virgil threatened. He knew it was a horrible idea. Without pain meds right now he would not be a functional human to any capacity. But he knew Logan knew that too, and Logan knew just how stubborn he actually was. And the only way to get Logan to take care of himself was to make him think he was doing it for other people.

“That is an extreme overreaction,” Logan scoffed.

“Again, don’t care. Take them.” 

Logan relented with a sigh, taking the pills from Virgil and struggling to get them open with his injured hand. Virgil let that be a distraction for Logan as his tears finally began to fall and he felt his nails begin to break skin as the pain just reached an unbearable point. When Logan was done, he looked up at Virgil, and he frantically tried to wipe the tears from his face before Logan could see. He failed, but he didn't care. He had to sit down. Damn it this was too much. He stumbled toward the couch, ignoring Logan’s open arms. He may be in a hell of a lot of pain, but that was something he could deal with on his own. He couldn’t take Logan’s support right now, not when Logan needed his so badly.

“Virgil what are you doing?” Logan questioned as Virgil sat down and pain shot through his shoulder again. He choked off a sob and forced his voice to work.

“Sitting down,” Virgil mumbled. Logan sighed and sat down on the other end of the couch. 

“Yes I can see that, but why are you distancing yourself from me?”

“To talk to you and support you instead of being weak like normal,” Virgil replied, in too much pain to filter what thoughts went into words right now.

“That is completely ridiculous,” Logan said. “You were stabbed, being in pain from such a serious injury is not weakness.”

“Well that’s good to know. Still wanna know what’s going on with you though. So, talk to me.” Virgil muttered, beginning to regain control of his tears as the pain became more tolerable while sitting..

“Not until you’re in my arms,” Logan decided. Virgil was in too much pain to push anymore, so he gave in.

“Fine, but you better actually talk,” Virgil said, more tears falling down his face as he moved to crawl into Logan’s arms. Though to pain was just as bad, being in his boyfriend's arms allowed Virgil to relax some, and his fist loosened slightly.

“What do you want me to talk about?” Logan asked as if he didn’t already know.

“How are you feeling? What happened to your hand? Although I can probably guess the answer to both, I wanna know for sure. I wanna know what I can do to help.”

“I punched a brick wall,” Logan replied, skipping the first question “Multiple times.”

“Why?” Virgil asked quietly. He had just reopened his shoulder and put himself in hella pain, along with now having four small cuts on his left palm, so really, he had no right to judge. He just wanted to know why so he could help prevent it next time.

“Because…” Logan paused. “I’m not entirely sure. It was quite illogical, impulsive, and only served to hinder me.”

“Did it make you feel any better?”

“I think so,” Logan admitted. “Not much, but it did in the moment.”

“Well, I’m glad it did something at least. But don’t do it again.” Virgil sighed wincing slightly, though the pain in his shoulder was starting to dull slightly as the meds slowly began to kick in. Much too slowly for Virgil liking. At least he had helping Logan as a distraction. Or at least, trying to help Logan. “Now, other question, how are you feeling now?”

“Warm,” Logan replied. Damn it Logan!

“How are you feeling  _ emotionally _ ,” Virgil corrected, annoyed. He was in pain and that was not helping his patience. God, all Logan had to do was give an honest answer!

Logan didn’t reply. Virgil realized part of the reason may be because Virgil was in pain. Virgil sighed.

“Look, I’m starting to feel a bit better, okay? But even once they kick in I’ll still be sore, and pain makes me irritable, so I’m getting really annoyed. Please just answer the damn question!”

“I feel awful,” Logan finally snapped. “I feel like there’s this horrible pit in my stomach and there’s ice in my heart and pain not coming from my hand. Because my friend has been lying to me for over a month despite getting angry at me for keeping a small, inconsequential secret. I have never felt this angry except for when you were stabbed and that resulted in me  _ committing murder _ . So there. Are you satisfied now?”

Virgil shifted with a slight wince to look at Logan. He wasn’t surprised by the answer. If anything, he was surprised Logan had actually told him. Logan looked away from Virgil, but Virgil just continued to look at him, waiting for him to meet his eyes. He didn’t, so Virgil began to speak.

“I’m glad you told me the truth. You’re allowed to be mad, Logan. And that doesn't mean you’re gonna hurt anyone. This is why you went out with Janus. We are here to help you. The anger doesn’t have to scare you. It’s okay. I’m angry too, we all are, and that’s okay. I just want to know what I can do to help you.”

“You can’t,” Logan muttered. “I wish you could, believe me, but I just don’t see any way you can help me, even if I’m desperate.”

“Well then we’ll figure something out,” Virgil replied, undeterred. “I’ve got breathing exercises and music and Harry Potter, what calms you down? Reading? Research?”

“You,” Logan said. Virgil found himself smiling at the comment. The pain in his shoulder had settled to a dull throb, still extremely uncomfortable, but much more manageable.

“Well that’s easy,” Virgil said. With the lessened pain, Virgil was able to put his right hand under Logan's chin, tilting his head to force their eyes to meet.. “Then I will stay right here and keep talking to you.”

“Can-” Logan started before cutting himself off. “Nevermind.” Damn, he sounded just like Virgil, which was absolutely not a good thing in this moment.

“Nope. If I’m not allowed to do that then you can’t either. What do you need?”

“Can you hold me?” Logan asked. Virgil smiled to himself. He knew he was already in too much pain to hold Logan in this state, but if he could get his sling on…

He carefully got off the couch and grabbed the sling from where it was still sitting on the floor from when Patton hand changed his bandages. He clenched his fist once more as he set his own arm then reached behind his neck with his right arm. Trying to tie a knot with one hand, that one hand being your wrong hand, is very difficult, Virgil found. But he did manage to get a loose knot stable enough to hold his arm at least long enough to hold his boyfriend. He sat back on the couch and spoke to get Logan’s attention once more.

“C'mere,” Virgil said. 

Logan opened his eyes and blinked at Virgil for a moment, seeming surprised. Virgil sighed and tapped his lap impatiently, encouraging his emotionally vulnerable boyfriend to come closer and be held, as he had asked. Logan tentatively crawled into Virgil’s arm, and Virgil wrapped it around him without hesitation. Virgil began tapping a certain pattern on Logan’s arm. A phrase in Morse code that he had learned after that one night, thinking it may soothe Logan in times of stress. Logan curled closer before hesitating. Virgil chucked and wrapped his arm tighter in encouragement before returning to the patterns he was tapping. Suddenly, Logan broke the silence.

“Morse code,” Logan realized. Virgil’s neck and face grew warm as he continued tapping, waiting for Logan to figure it out. “Oh.”

“I kinda stole your thing,” Virgil admitted, suddenly slightly nervous. “That okay? I thought you’d find the pattern, I dunno, comforting? I don't know, if you want I can stop.”

“Please don’t,” Logan objected. Virgil smiled to himself and continued tapping the pattern, over and over, until Logan broke the silence once more..

“I’m sorry,” Logan muttered quietly, so quietly Virgil could barely hear it.

“For what?” Virgil asked quietly, not once pausing in his tapping.

“I got angry with you,” Logan explained. “I got angry with you a few days ago as well and then with all this I’ve just...I hate it, I hate feeling this furious. I should not have taken it out on you or...or them.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Virgil assured. “You’re allowed to get angry with me. I can be really fucking stupid sometimes, I know that. And if I hadn’t been so stupid and trapped you like that, then fucking cornered myself… well, I’m sorry too. I caused that, and you have every right to be mad at me. But I’m not upset with you, okay?”

“You should be,” Logan said. Virgil couldn’t help but finch slightly at those words. He did feel bad, he knew he had been stupid, but it was one thing knowing that. It was another thing hearing someone say it. But Virgil swallowed his hurt, accepting that Logan was right, and continued on.

“Yeah I know. And I know saying it again and again won’t make it any better, but I’m gonna do it anyways. Because I really am sorry, Lo.”

“No, no that’s not what I mean,” Logan shook his head against Virgil’s shoulder. “I meant that you should be angry with me, you should be upset. Remus told me that what I did wasn’t good but it didn’t make me a bad person because I did it to protect you, but I don’t...how do I know he wasn’t lying then too?”

“Cause he fucking killed my parents to protect his twin,” Virgil scoffed. Yeah, as someone that struggled with these types of thoughts all of the time, he could see where Logan’s twisted logic was coming from. Except it was just that, twisted, incorrect logic. “And yeah, I’m pissed, but Roman is here because of that. I’m here because of you, and that counts for something. Remus is right. You’re not a bad person. What you did doesn’t define you.”

“Okay,” Logan gave in. Virgil knew he probably didn’t fully believe it yet, he just hoped someday he would. “I just...I don’t understand why he lied to me? I deserved to know, why did he...I thought we were friends, Virgil.”

Virgil sighed. “Look, I can’t speak for Remus, but I have a feeling that’s exactly why he didn't tell you. Because you are friends, and he cares about you and didn’t want to hurt you. I’m not saying it was right, and I may be completely wrong, only Remus can tell you. But I don’t think he meant to hurt you.”

“But he did,” Logan replied with a sigh, curling even closer into Virgil. “This  _ betrayal  _ it...it is so much worse. I want to forgive him, I miss him but everytime I look at him I just get so angry.”

“I know, love,” Virgil said quietly. “And you don’t have to forgive him now, you can forgive him on your own terms, when you feel ready. And if that is never, that is okay too. But I have a feeling it will happen. You just can’t force it.”

“When did you become so wise?” Logan asked. “I thought I was supposed to be the intelligent one.”

“Oh I’m still a fucking idiot,” Virgil assured him with a chuckle. “But years of therapy have taught me some shit, even if I don’t use it on myself, I still know the stuff.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Logan muttered. “Are you feeling better?”

Virgil was feeling better, but not good. His shoulder was still throbbing dully, and he knew if he moved it would just make it worse. But yeah, at least he was feeling better.

“As better as these meds can make it,” Virgil replied honestly. “But yeah, you?”

Logan flexed his fingers and winced slightly, but he did not seem to be in as much pain as before.

“I suppose it does not hurt as much,” Logan answered.

“Good,” Virgil nodded. “How about emotionally?”

“Honestly?”

“Always.”

“I have no fucking idea.”

“And that’s okay,” Virgil assured him. “Just… promise you’ll talk to me if it gets bad, okay?”

“I wish I could, but I also promised not to lie,” Logan said, sounding small. Virgil’s heart broke slightly at the words, but he knew this was Logan, and working on his ability to deal with emotions would take a long time. And he was willing to work with him and stand by him though it, as long as Logan was willing to try. So, he rephrased his question.

“Promise you’ll _ try _ to talk to someone?”

“I think I can do that,” Logan nodded. “Can we go back to sleep now? I love being in your arms like this far more than I should, but I am also incredibly tired. I destroyed a building, drove for hours, used my powers again, and punched a wall, all fueled only by a short nap.”

“I would have agreed even without the list,” Virgil laughed quietly. “We can stay here if you want. I’m sure Roman won’t mind, and I’m pretty comfortable.”

Yes, he was comfortable right now, and had no interest in moving and changing that. However, he knew if he woke up in the morning after sleeping on the couch, he would definitely not be comfortable. So, honestly, either way Logan chose, Virgil would still be in pain, there was no escaping that. So he didn’t really care either way.

“I want Roman too,” Logan objected. “You’re comforting, he’s safe. Plus he won’t hesitate to hit me if I say or do something stupid, like hide a nightmare or something. I like him.”

“Yeah I like him too,” Virgil replied with a smile. “Well then let's head back to bed. You’re gonna have to get off me first though.”

“I did not think about that,” Logan said. God, he was so fucking adorable when he was tired. “Is it too late to change my mind?”

“Nope, we can still stay here if you want,” Virgil chuckled again. “Just make up your mind soon, cause I’m tired too.”

“Your shoulder will hurt if we stay,” Logan sighed. Virgil decided not to mention that his shoulder would hurt if they went too, letting Logan do what he wanted. Logan kissed him on the neck and sat up. “Roman will cuddle me, right? He likes that. Unless he thinks that’s weird because we’re not dating.”

“Oh he will  _ definitely _ cuddle you,” Virgil said quickly. Apparently too quickly.

“Oh no,” Logan sounded shocked when he spoke. “Does he like me romantically? I like him, but in a purely platonic way. I thought he was monogamous?”

“No it’s okay,” Virgil assured him with a small laugh. “He doesn't, and he is. He just likes cuddles.”

“Oh,” Logan sounded relieved. He reached up and fixed the collar and the last few buttons on Virgil’s shirt that were still undone from Patton redoing his bandages. Virgil’s face became flushed as Logan finished. 

“Okay. Shall we, then?” Logan asked.

“Yes we shall.” Virgil smiled.

After that Virgil and Logan headed to bed. Logan curled up and fell asleep almost immediately. Once he was sure they were both asleep he took a moment to get up and clean his hand, which did in fact have four crescent shaped cuts on it. He made a mental note to never go to bed without taking pain meds again, before getting back into bed and slowly falling into a restless sleep.

Much too soon, Virgil heard voices, but in his still mostly asleep state, he couldn’t tell what they were saying, just that Roman and Logan were talking. That was, until Janus fucking barged into their room and yelled at them.

“You fuckers get your gay asses out of bed,” Janus yelled. “We got places to be and you assholes take forever to get ready so get the fuck up before I drag you out of bed myself.”

After that, Janus slammed the door loudly while Virgil pretended to still be asleep. He really hadn’t slept well that night after helping Logan, and he just didn’t want to deal with the day, especially with that damn spell hanging over his head and his shoulder in constant fucking pain. The door opened again a moment later, but gentler this time.

“Sorry about that kiddos,” Patton’s voice now. “You do need to start getting up though. And I’m leaving the door open.” Then Patton left as well, and Virgil did not hear the door close this time.

“Oh my God,” Roman laughed from beside him. “They really are like a mom and dad.”

“I HEARD THAT!” Janus shouted from somewhere outside the room.

“I see Dee wished to prove you correct,” Logan this time. Finally, Virgil had had enough. He was tired and sore and stressed and damn it he did not want to be woken up like this. So, he did what any normal sleepy teenager would do. He opened his eyes, leaving them narrowed, and hissed at his boyfriends.

“Well good morning to you too,” Roman sighed and Virgil felt the bed shift as Roman rolled over to face him instead of Logan.

“Do not blame us for the rude awakening,” Logan objected. “It was entirely Dee’s fault, I assure you.”

Virgil turned his narrowed gaze to the door and hissed in Janus's general direction, as loud as he possibly could.

“YOU BETTER NOT BE HISSING AT ME VIRGIL ERIKSON,” Janus shouted back. Virgil sat there for a moment, still feeling slightly shocked every time he heard his new name. Finally, he decided, fuck it, and laid back down, closing his eyes once more as he tried to block out his pain and his worry and actually get some decent sleep.

“No, Virgil,” Roman said. “You do have to get up.”

Virgil let out a tired groan to show them that he was still awake, but not happy about it. He opened his eyes once more.

“Thank you, darling,” Logan gave him a smile that made Virgil’s tired, stressed, gay heart melt. “Now, shall we gather our things?”

“Fine,” Virgil muttered. “But someone’s gotta retie this sling for me. I didn’t tie it very well last night.”

“I’ll do that,” Roman offered. “Logan can you-”

Virgil felt a warmth as Logan used his abilities to pack the bags. God, it was the best feeling when Magic was being used in small ways. It easily got overwhelming, especially with things like Logan’s abilities, but for things like this it was just nice. And honestly, Virgil was too tired to deal with it. He couldn’t be feeling nice and relaxed while being in pain and stressed. That was just too much. Too confusing. Virgil’s tired brain just couldn’t process it all.

“Oh,” Roman said. “Well, guess that works too.”

“I’m not awake enough for this,” Virgil mumbled as he forced himself to sit up, careful to hide his injured hand in his sling and avoid jostling his shoulder too much as he positioned himself for Roman to reach the back of his neck..

“For what exactly?” Logan asked.

“Everything.” Virgil said simply. No way he was gonna tell Logan why his abilities feeling nice was just too much for not awake Virgil. He did not want to get into that right now. He was too tired for that. He was too tired to process anything other than pain and stress.

“That’s valid,” Roman agreed as he tied Virgil’s sling.

“Valid?” Logan asked. 

“He means you should let me go back to sleep,” Virgil replied, trying to use Logan’s lack of knowledge on common slang to his advantage. 

“That’s not what it means and you know it.” Roman said, ruffling Virgil’s hair. “Don’t manipulate your boyfriend, it’s rude.”

“Well I’m sore and I wanna sleep,” Virgil complained. “Why won't you let me sleeeeep?”

“Because the others are waiting,” Roman pointed out.

“Also considering the cult knows we have the spell, it is likely their search area has narrowed,” Logan added. “They know the ingredients on the scroll. Speaking of, could someone please tell me those ingredients? Why are we going to the Everglades?”

“Stupid spell and stupid powers controlling my stupid life,” Virgil muttered. He carefully got out of bed and got out the scroll, double checking the ingredients to answer Logan’s question. “We have most of the stuff. We are going to the Everglades to get the sand at the full moon and steal shit from Janus’s and Patton’s mom. She had an obsidian pentagram, which we need, along with new talismans.”

“I cannot argue with that,” Logan said as he got out of bed. Roman followed reluctantly and they both grabbed their bags.

“ANY DAY NOW,” Janus yelled again. 

“We probably shouldn’t keep them waiting,” Roman muttered. Virgil slid the scroll back into his bag and grabbed the top backpack handle with his right hand. He didn’t even bother trying to swing it over one shoulder, afraid of the pain that could cause. Instead he just let it drag on the floor as he headed to the door, turning to the others expectantly.

“Oh hush, we’re coming.” Roman muttered.

“Lead the way then,” Logan said before following Virgil to the living area where Virgil retreated to a corner, not willing to participate in any conversation about to go down. He was just too tired and overwhelmed.

[Start Remus]

“Patton, do we have anything to discuss before we depart?” Logan said after walking into the living room. Remus was hanging back in a corner, trying to ignore the twist of pain he felt in his chest every time Logan spoke. 

“Just car arrangements,” Patton answered. “I’m sure you kiddos have an opinion?”

“I like the ones from yesterday,” Roman suggested as he glared at Remus. Remus tried to hide his hurt. He knew Patton would not allow them to ride in a car together for fear of Roman hurting Remus. But honestly, at this point, Remus was wondering if that would be such a bad thing.

“Let's go for an arrangement that doesn't end in any of my kiddos getting hurt,” Patton replied, exactly as Remus thought he would. “What if Roman and Janus switch?”

“But I wanted to see them fight,” Dee complained. Remus just glanced at the floor, trying to ignore the part of him that was longing to lose that hypothetical fight.

“You wouldn’t even have been in the car with them,” Patton pointed out. “So we will have Roman, Logan and Virgil in one car, then me, Janus, and Remus in the other, sound good?”

Whatever, sounded fine. Although, with Patton and Virgil in separate cars, they should probably make sure Virgil got the pain medication. He wanted to say something about it, but honestly he was too scared to speak up right now, especially with Roman and Logan in the room. Surprisingly, Virgil had been the least openly hostile of the three main people affected since he had revealed what he had been hiding, though it wasn’t like he was talking to Remus either. Whatever, they’d probably think of the medication themselves.

“Fine,” Roman agreed reluctantly before storming off. Remus couldn’t help but wish Patton had let him ride in a car with Roman. Remus losing their fight would probably make them both feel better.

“But we get my car because I don’t trust  _ him _ in it without me.” Roman added as he left. Remus closed his eyes against the tears that threatened him, remembering how he used to be one of the only people Roman trusted with his car, and now he had lost that trust. Again.

“Okay,” Patton sighed. He turned to the rest of the group as Remus tried to make himself as small as possible. “Everyone ready to go?”

“I suppose,” Logan spoke, causing Remus to reflexively tighten his arms around himself against the pain hearing Logan’s voice caused him. “Don’t wreck my car.”

“I make no promises,” Dee said with a smirk, giving Logan a two finger salute before heading out the door.

“Shit,” Logan sighed as he followed Dee out.

Remus normally would have laughed at an exchange like that, but instead he felt on the verge of tears as he gripped his sides tightly and trailed behind Patton, who had followed quickly after Logan. He heard Virgil shuffling behind him and almost thought to mention the pain medication to him, but couldn’t risk anymore open hostility against him. So he just went outside and stood by Logan’s car, trying to ignore the glares from Logan and Roman as he waited for Patton and Dee.

They didn’t give Virgil the pain meds. Remus kept his mouth shut.

[End Remus]

Virgil watched as Logan threw his bag into the back end of the car and got into the passenger seat. Roman didn’t move as he stood, staring daggers at Remus, and Logan quickly did the same. Virgil was mad at Remus, but honestly didn’t see how glaring constantly would help. What he could to help, in a non-magic way for once in this demon, sleep, curse word apocalypse bullshit, was drive. Driving still made him slightly uncomfortable, as it was just another reminder of the lies his ‘parents’ had told him for years, but it was no longer as much of a panic inducing experience as it had been before he had regained his memories, so he could do it.

While Roman and Logan were busy with their useless task of glaring at Remus, Virgil got into the driver's seat, tossing his bag into the back as he did so. He went to grab the wheel and start the car and was abruptly reminded that one of his arms was incapacitated. But that didn’t matter, people could drive with one arm, right? Yeah, it was fine, he could still do this. He had to, it would help, not just the others, but himself as well. It would allow him to feel like he had more than once use in this group.

“Um, what are you doing?” Logan finally took a break from his glaring to look at Virgil.

“I haven’t driven in a while, it’s my turn,” Virgil responded, keeping his voice casual. He knew they would object, but he also knew he could do this. Well, he didn’t know he could do this, but if he sounded like he did, then it would be fine.

“Virgil what the actual fuck?!” Roman cut in, apparently also taking a moment to look away from his brother. “Babe, are you joking?”

“No,” Virgil said with fake confidence. “I’ve gotta find a non-magic way to help I just-” He stopped himself before he could say anymore. He didn’t want to talk about this right now. He just wanted to help.. “I won’t drive the whole way, just the first couple hours, okay?”

“I get that, sweetheart,” Roman said. “But maybe a different way?”

“Virgil, darling,” Logan spoke up again. “This is your second time driving in your life, you will be driving for hours, and all with one arm incapacitated. Perhaps that isn’t such a good idea?”

“Yeah okay,” Virgil knew they were right. He could barely drive with two arms, doing it with one would just put everyone in danger. He was being an idiot. Might as well use this ride to actually be useful and study magic, the only thing he was good for. He got out of the driver’s seat and headed to the back where his backpack and the spell were.

“You can drive from the...wherever we’re staying to the beach,” Roman added suddenly. “That way it’s not hours, okay?”

“Okay,” Virgil said with a nod. That would work. At least that gave him something. He could help with something non magic. He could be useful. He nodded to himself again as he pulled out the spell, using his teeth to unzip his backpack and feeling like an absolute idiot, especially when Logan chuckled, and Virgil just glared at the back of his head before looking down at the spell.

Virgil didn’t really pay attention as they pulled out of the parking lot and got on the road, instead studying the sigils in these spells. They were incredibly intricate and there were a lot of them that needed very precise energies. Once his shoulder was better he would have to practice drawing them, so he would be able to focus on the energies and words and ingredients when he did the spell for real. It wasn’t going to be easy. Suddenly, Logan’s voice jerked Virgil out of his concentration, and he looked up to see Logan looking at Roman.

“What was that for?!” Logan protested.

“Stop pressing your head against the window,” Roman replied. “You’re gonna give yourself a headache.”

Ah, so protective Roman was going at Logan for a change. Honestly, Virgil loved Roman, but it was nice to have his protectiveness focused on someone else for a moment. Virgil smirked, excited to see how this went down.

“Oh,” Logan mumbled.

“Yeah ‘oh’,” Roman said, sounding exasperated. “You’d think a guy smart as you would know that.”

“I’m quite like you,” Logan shrugged. “Incredibly intelligent, horrible decision-making.”

Oh, and he was escaping Logan teasing him for his lack of common sense? God, these guys really needed to get into that queerplatonic relationship Roman had mentioned if it meant Virgil got to witness the protectiveness and teasing instead of being subject to it. This was amazing.

“Oh really?” Roman chuckled. “Name one bad decision I’ve made.”

“Would you like the list in order of severity or date of occurrence?” Logan smirked and Roman reached over to mess up Logan’s hair while keeping his eyes on the road. Logan yelped and batted at Roman’s hand until he pulled it away. Virgil was just trying not to laugh, and kind of failing, but they didn’t seem to notice. Which was good, Virgil was enjoying the show too much to risk interrupting.

“Aw, come on, Specs,” Roman said, still laughing. “Not like there’s anyone to see it. Besides, now you look like a regular human!”

“That is not necessary as I am not fully human.”

“You’re still  _ human _ just magical...right?” Roman sounded confused now and Virgil had to put a hand over his mouth, still holding the spell in the same hand, to keep himself from laughing again. He knew putting a spell this powerful against his mouth was probably disrespectful or something, but he didn’t give a shit, this was just too good.

“I’m not entirely sure.”

“Oh my God,” Roman spoke as if he had just made the biggest realization of his life. “Logan are you a magical girl?”

“I’m not a girl?” Logan replied, it now being his turn to be confused as Virgil kept his hand over his mouth. 

“The glowy eyes, the powers, the secret life,” Roman said as if making a list. “You’re totally a magical girl!”

“Do I want to know?” Logan asked.

“Probably not,” Roman replied. “But they are awesome, just like you.”

“Thank you, Roman,” Logan smiled, softly.

Okay, well now they were just flirting. Still entertaining, obviously, but now somewhat irritating as Roman clearly had the perfect opportunity to ask and he clearly wasn’t going to do it without Virgil’s help. Virgil rolled his eyes as he finally decided to make his presence known once more, taking his hand and the spell away from his mouth, and slamming the spell on the seat, making a show of being irritated when he was in fact extremely entertained.

“Oh my God!” Virgil said. “Stop flirting and just fucking ask him already!”

“I am not flirting!” Roman replied much too quickly, causing Virgil to smirk. “Also, no comments from the peanut gallery!”

“Ask me what, exactly?” Logan asked. He sounded nervous, and Virgil looked at Roman expectantly. When Roman didn’t say anything, Virgil spoke up again.

“Do I have to ask him for you Roman?” Virgil sighed. “‘Cause I will.”

“No!” Roman protested. “No I have to do it, I’m just nervous alright? Shut up.”

“Ooookay,” Virgil sighed again, making sure to be very overdramatic in his irritation. This was too much fun, no wonder Logan and Roman loved teasing him so much. He would feel bad about pushing Roman, except he had no doubt that Logan would say yes, so he knew pushing Roman was the right thing to do. Therefore, he would have fun with it. “I’ll shut up, but you’ve gotta actually do it at some point in the next century.”

“Fine, if you’ll shush about it,” Roman finally gave in, sticking his tongue out at Virgil in the rearview mirror.Virgil stuck his tongue out as well, before carefully sliding the spell back into the backpack to pay closer attention to their conversation. He wanted to see this. “Logan because Dark and Nosy back there won’t shush, I apparently have something to ask you. Don’t freak out, and you can say no, but well, do you know what queerplatonic is?”

“Oh thank goodness,” Logan sighed and Virgil couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped his lips, remembering how Logan had confessed to him his concern that Roman had romantic feelings for him. “Apologies, I was afraid you were going to confess to having romantic feelings for me.”

“Oh God no,” Roman replied. “You’re gorgeous and all, but no. I wanted to ask if you wanted to be in a, ya know, queerplatonic relationship? God that was probably the weirdest way to ask that, but yeah.”

Logan seemed to consider the question for a moment, and Virgil was suddenly concerned Logan would say no. What if that happened and he had been the one to push Roman into doing this and it would be all his fault and-

“Okay,” Logan finally answered, cutting into Virgil’s spiraling thoughts. “I would love that.”

“Yes!” Roman cried happily. Virgil smiled. 

“Hell yeah,” Virgil said. “I told you he’d say yes!”

“How long have you two been planning this?” Logan asked.

“He told me like two days ago,” Virgil replied, knowing he had been pushy to get Roman to do it so soon after telling him, but hey, Logan had said yes, so that was a win. 

“I’ve been thinking about it for like two weeks though,” Roman said sheepishly.

“You’ve wanted to be that close to me for this long?” Logan asked, an blush rising in his face as he scratched the back of his neck to try and hide it, but Virgil had his two boyfriends right in front of him, already somewhat flustered, and there was no way he wasn’t going to take advantage of this. Time to finally get his revenge for all of the times they had decided it was ‘make Virgil too flustered to speak’ day.

“Awww my two favorite boys like each other,” Virgil teased happily.

“Uh, duh,” Roman replied. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Have you met me?” Logan asked. Oh, Virgil was not letting him get away with being self deprecating right now. No way.

“Yes I have and I love you,” Virgil cut in. “I love both of you and you guys like each other and I love it! My Prince and my Sun!” 

Ha! Those pet names ‘otta do the trick! And they definitely did, as Roman was spluttering and Logan was turning even more red. Virgil grinned.

“What is it with you and flirting lately?!” Roman exclaimed.

“Aww, did I get my boyfriends flustered,” Virgil asked teasingly. “The two loves of my life can’t take a little flirting?”

“Absolutely not and you know this,” Roman answered, not even trying to deny it.

“Well, Princey, maybe you shouldn’t have been so flirty to me,” Virgil retorted. “It is time for my revenge, babe.”

“How dare you!” Roman gasped. Logan chuckled but didn’t say anything. He thought he could escape, but Virgil was not going to let that happen. He would finish with Roman, but then it would be Logan’s turn, and Logan wasn’t driving. “I show you love and affection and you betray me like this?”

“Betray you how?” Virgil asked. “I’m just giving you some of the love and affection you deserve. Though you deserve a lot more than I could give you, at least I can try.”

“I left that one open didn’t I?” Roman asked with a sigh. “I am not as good at this as I thought.”

“Oh, you’re very good at this,” Virgil teased. “You get all pink and cute and it’s adorable.”

“Not-” Roman stuttered and Virgil chuckled. “Not  _ this _ !”

“Mhmm,” Virgil hummed, before looking over at Logan. He didn’t want to risk getting their driver too flustered, and Logan was not anywhere near flustered enough for Virgil’s liking. “Hey, love, you okay over there?”

“Fine,” Logan answered very quickly, his voice a couple octaves higher than normal.

“Well then I guess I’ve gotta step up my game,” Virgil replied. Time to pull out all of the pet names and flirting Virgil knew, which was more than he’d like to admit after having dated Roman for a year. He had never been great when it came to flirting, but these two were not hard to get flustered. “Star? Darling? Love of my life? You still doing okay?”

“Of course,” Logan replied. He was still not quite his normal voice, but he was actually doing an impressively good job faking it. Virgil would have to step up his game. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh I dunno,” Virgil replied with a grin. He undid his seatbelt and scooted up in his seat so he could place his chin on Logan’s shoulder. “Maybe cause I’m just so close,” Virgil’s voice was a whisper now, “And you love me so, so much.”

“I do love you,” Logan replied with a small, nervous sounding laugh. Roman chuckled and Logan smacked him on the back of the head lightly, and Virgil knew he was getting somewhere. “However I can say that fact is not affecting my current state.”

“Oh yeah?” Virgil whispered, scooting even closer so his lips were less than an inch from Logan’s warm, pink, face. “How about now?”

Virgil heard Logan’s breath hitch as he closed his eyes and he allowed his grin to widen. Maybe he wasn’t so bad at this whole flirting thing after all.

“Perhaps,” Logan squeaked. Virgil chuckled as he brought his good arm around he seat to rest on Logan’s shoulder. His left shoulder had been protesting every one of his movements since he had started this whole flirting thing, but he was not about to back down now, and the pain meds had it fairly under control. Plus, this was a hell of a good distraction.

“You like that, Galaxy?” Virgil asked, pulling out another pet name as he placed his hand gently on Logan’s shoulder.

“I wish to file a complaint,” Logan said as he leaned back in the seat so Virgil could reach him better.

“And what would that complaint be?” Virgil questioned, his mouth still only a hair away from Logan’s cheek as he spoke.

“My boyfriend is incredibly distracting,” Logan complained.

“Oh and that’s a complaint, is it?” Virgil asked. He gave Logan a quick kiss on the cheek before returning to his previous distance. “You sure about that?”

“Not at all,” Logan replied. Virgil chuckled as an idea came to his mind. He leaned back against his seat, his shoulder relieved to have the support again, but he had no intention for staying there for long. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick message to the server.

Storm_Cloud: hey I’m torturing my boyfriends don’t bother waiting we’ll catch up

He then slid his phone back into his pocket and looked at Roman.

“Hey, Ro, could you pull over real quick?” Virgil asked.

“Uh, why?” Roman questioned.

“‘Cause I said so,” Virgil replied with a shrug, trying to hide his wince as pain shot through his shoulder. He had to stop forgetting about the damn thing. “Come on, Princey. Pleeeease?”

“You are a cruel, cruel man,” Roman sighed, but pulled over to the side of the road. Virgil didn’t hesitate. The moment they pulled over he got out of the car and walked to Logan’s side, opening the door and sitting in his boyfriend's lap. He had a hard time figuring out a comfortable position with his shoulder, but figured he could work that out once they were moving again. He closed the door and turned to Roman.

“Okay, we can go now,” Virgil said with a smirk.

“V-Virgil?” Logan stuttered. “W-what are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing dear?” Virgil grinned through his pain as he shifted, attempting to find a comfortable position. “I’m flirting with my boyfriend.”

“Why are you not torturing Roman?” Logan groaned. He then wrapped his arms around Virgil’s waist as Virgil shifted once more and finally settled into the least painful position he could find, able to return to the task at hand with as much energy as before.

“Cause he’s driving, and also I got to torture him the other night,” Virgil looked at Roman with an innocent smile. “Didn’t I, babe?”

“Don’t you start,” Roman warned. “I  _ will  _ pull out my sword, don’t test me. Also don’t pretend that all Sailor Moon over here has to do is flash his eyes and the tables will be completely turned.”

“Well I have more tools as well,” Virgil looked back at Logan with a grin as he remembered what Roman told him about the shirt he was currently wearing, which had the sleeves rolled up three times and they still covered his hands slightly, but he didn’t care, cause it smelled like Logan from being in his bag for so long. “Like how Roman told me something about a certain shirt I may or may not be wearing right now.”

“ROMAN!” Logan shrieked. Virgil was cackling.

“I will not apologize,” Roman declared. “I’m enjoying this way too much.”

“And hey, it worked,” Virgil added, “I did steal it. Do I look as good in it as you imagined?”

“I-,” Logan sighed and put his very red face on Virgil’s uninjured shoulder in an attempt to hide. “No comment.”

“Aw, come on, help me out here!” Virgil groaned. “Your poor little boyfriend has self esteem issues and you won’t even admit he looks cute in your shirt? That is so sad.”

“My boyfriend looks incredible in my shirt,” Logan mumbled. “And I find it incredibly unfair.”

Virgil was absolutely not going to comment on how those words put a warm feeling in his chest and brought a smile to his face. He was the one flirting today, he was not going to become the victim.

“Well my boyfriend looks adorable in my hoodie and I find that incredibly unfair, so we’re even!” Virgil’s smile grew when Logan went even redder, which Virgil hadn’t thought was possible.

“Roman I’m going to kill you,” Logan said. “I rescind my acceptance, you traitor.”

“I was helping you!” Roman objected, clearly unfazed as he fought a smile “You should be thanking me!”

“You gave him the tools to destroy me,” Logan pointed out. “I will thank you for nothing.”

“I’ll thank you Ro,” Virgil smiled at Roman. “Thank you very, very much for telling me. It has been very useful.”

“You stay out of this,” Logan growled as he began to fix Virgil’s still messy hair from that morning. Shit, no, this was his turn! No no nonono. “You are responsible for this, you get no say.”

Virgil tried to hide the small squeak he made as he ducked away from Logan’s hand in a desperate attempt to escape his fate. It hurt his shoulder to move so suddenly but he didn’t care. He was not going to let Logan fix his hair and get him all flustered. This was his turn, this was his revenge!

“Oh Logan,” Roman cut in and Virgil glared at him. “Didn’t you know?” 

“Shut up,” Virgil said, trying and failing to sound intimidating in his mildly flustered state.

“Nope it’s our turn,” Roman replied as he looked back at Logan. “You do anything with his hair and he basically becomes putty.”

“Oh really?” Logan questioned. “Is that true, Virgil?”

“It was my turn!” Virgil groaned. “I never get a turn! Why are you so mean to me!?”

“We’re only giving you the love and affection you deserve,” Roman replied as he echoed Virgil’s words from earlier. Virgil groaned and hid his reddening face against Logan. He was a weak, weak man. Just the smallest amount of flirting or affection and he was a wreck.

“That was incredibly easy,” Logan observed. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future.” 

“Nooo,” Virgil objected as he tried and failed to resist the urge to lean into Logan’s hand to get him to pet his hair more. God, he really was a fucking cat. 

“I do have other methods if you would prefer,” Logan smirked. Oh no. Logan’s eyes flashed blue before Virgil could look away, and he felt his face grow even more warm as he returned to his hiding place against his incredibly gorgeous boyfriend’s chest as he refused to look at those beautiful glowing blue eyes that just took his breath away. “Was that not preferable, beautiful?”

“Mean,” Virgil muttered. “You are both mean, mean people.”

“I think that’s a yes, Lo,” Roman laughed. “You know he can’t exactly hide, ‘cause sometimes your eyes aren’t the only things about your powers that get him going.”

“Romaaaan,” Virgil groaned again, desperate for his boyfriend’s to stop this torture. He couldn’t take much more of this. He was already at risk of dying of a gay panic induced heart attack. “Shut up.”

“He can feel your powers,” Roman continued, ignoring Virgil. “Sometimes, as long as he knows you’re like in control and not freaking out and shit, that works just as good as your eyes.”

Okay, well, at least he could handle that. That wouldn’t make him anymore flustered. In fact, it was always really nice to feel Logan using his abilities in a healthy way. The energy felt so warm and just so… Logan. Virgil didn’t know how else to explain it, it just felt like Logan, and when it wasn’t completely overwhelming him like when Logan was at just the wrong distance, or letting his powers build up for too long, then it was just really nice.

“I was not aware of this,” Logan mused. “So if I were to nudge the cars out of our way instead of forcing you to dodge them?” 

“Please do,” Virgil mumbled into Logan’s shirt before he could stop himself. Shit, he hoped they couldn’t hear that.

“What was that, my dear?” Logan asked. Good, so they didn’t hear. He’d have to make something else up though, cause they knew he said something.

“I said you guys are both evil human beings,” Virgil muttered.

“Are you sure?” Logan teased. “That was a much larger amount of words.”

Well, he was caught now. Might as well admit it since Roman was so keen on outing all of his likes to Logan at the moment, one more wouldn’t hurt at this point.

“Please do,” Virgil finally admitted. “That’s what I said.”

“Well if you insist,” Logan shrugged before Virgil felt Logan’s magic rise to the surface as cars began moving out of the way. The warmth in Virgil’s chest that was always there when Logan was this close grew and it just felt so Logan. It was comforting and relaxing and one of the best feelings in the world. Virgil couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips as he snuggled closer to Logan, his shoulder shifting painfully as the pain meds likely began to wear off. But that didn’t matter because Logan’s magic was safe and comforting and  _ beautiful _ , and that was all Virgil could focus on.

“You alright, honey?” Roman asked, for once not in a teasing way.

“Look, if you could feel it you’d like it too,” Virgil felt the need to defend himself. “It’s nice, okay? When it’s not overwhelming, it’s nice.”

“Was that why you claimed to not be awake enough earlier?” Logan asked. “I used my magic?”

“...maybe?” Virgil admitted sheepishly. He just hadn’t been awake enough to process something so beautiful and powerful and… well, amazing, okay?

“Oh,” Logan said.

“Look,” Virgil started, feeling the need to explain himself for some reason. “You felt the spell circle, right? Like, it was nice. Your abilities are… well, they’re really strong and a lot of times overwhelming, but when they’re used like this, well, they kinda feel like the spell circle I guess. I dunno how to explain it. It’s just… it’s nice.”

“Like I’m a part of you?” Logan asked suddenly. “It feels warm and you feel loved?”

“Yeah…” Virgil said, confused as to how Logan was able to so easily understand what Virgil was saying. “Wait, how’d you know?”

“That’s how I felt when I was bonded to you,” Logan answered. “It made me feel, not safe but just relaxed, like I had no worries because you were with me, Starlight.”

Virgil’s face grew even more warm at the pet name as he glanced up shyly at Logan. “Yeah. I’m glad this isn’t Harry Potter magic, all the same and stuff. I like this, being able to tell that the magic is… yours.”

“Wait rewind,” Roman cut in. “What bond? I thought Logan couldn’t feel the tether?”

“I had to bond our souls together so Logan could take me inside someone’s mind to talk to the demon,” Virgil replied. “It was just temporary, but Logan got to feel kind of what the tether feels like for me. Except, well, this was all our souls, not just the magic. But it was pretty similar.”

“Well now I’m jealous,” Roman pouted. “You guys got married without me.”

“Oh my God it was temporary!” Virgil said in an exasperated tone. “And it wasn’t too hard. I could always do it for the two of us sometime if you wanna feel it.”

“Theoretically you could do it for all three of us,” Logan added. 

“Yeah I could try,” Virgil agreed, the idea beginning to take full bloom in his head as he thought of the spell and any adjustments he would need to make. God, it would be so fucking cool if he could pull that off. “It probably wouldn’t hold for very long with all three of us though. Spells like that can take a lot of energy.”

“Well it’s up to you, it’s your magic,” Roman pointed out. “But I would be down to try it.”

“I mean hey, I’ve gotta get better at more taxing spells,” Virgil used that as his excuse, not wanting to admit just how excited this idea made him. “I’d be up for trying it! Maybe we could try it when we get to the beach!”

“Uh did you forget what Patton said?” Roman reminded him.

“No,” Virgil replied. “I just chose to ignore it.”

“Well you're not the one Patton will set Dee on,” Roman pointed out. “So we’re gonna give it a few days before we do that so me and my partner aren’t killed, kay?”

“Uhg, fine,” Virgil gave in reluctantly, knowing Roman was right, and he did not want to put him or Logan through one of Janus’s mom lectures. “Only cause I care about you guys though.”

“We love you too, my little wizard,” Roman cooed.

“Yeah okay,” Virgil muttered. He smiled at both of them before relaxing back into Logan, snuggling back up as his shoulder protested boldly. Yeah, the pain meds were definitely wearing off. Virgil tried to ignore it but he couldn’t stop the small yelp that escaped his mouth as he shifted and his pain spiked. 

“Are you alright, my love?” Logan asked and Virgil felt his magic fade to it’s normal resting level. Once that distraction was gone, Virgil’s pain became even more noticeable and he had to bite his lip to keep from crying out again as his shoulder throbbed horribly, a stabbing pain shooting through his shoulder every few seconds.

“Mhmm,” Virgil muttered, unable to form words.

“Sure,” Roman scoffed. “Are you-, actually I’m not even going to ask because I know the answer, so go to sleep.”

“I don’t wanna move,” Virgil complained. This was for two reasons. One, other than his shoulder he was fairly comfortable, and two, moving his shoulder right now would help absolutely nothing.

“You do not have to,” Logan assured him. “If you are comfortable, then I can keep you safe while you sleep.”

“I don’t think I  _ can  _ sleep,” Virgil admitted, another shot of pain going through his shoulder as he winced.

“Why?” Roman asked.

Virgil hesitated. He didn’t want to admit how much pain he was in, he didn’t want to worry them. Then again, that was the excuse he always used, and they always seemed to worry anyways. Plus, Virgil’s strained face and the hiss of air that came from his mouth when the car hit a bump would probably give him away soon anyways.

“Ow.” Virgil finally admitted, unable to form anymore words as his shoulder made yet another attempt to drive him crazy with pain.

“Shit we didn’t grab the pain meds,” Roman groaned. “Okay, well the only thing I can think of is to sleep through it, but if you can’t sleep because you’re in pain, then I have no idea what to do.”

“Endorphins act as a natural pain reliever,” Logan suggested. Somehow, Virgil was not surprised that he knew that type of random fact at this point. “Perhaps if we made you happy?”

“I guess we could try that,” Virgil relented, desperate for any relief at this point as he fought off tears. “Your abilities make me happy.” Virgil added, too quiet for the others to hear.

“Yes?” Logan asked. 

“Your abilities make me happy,” Virgil said hesitantly, but louder this time. Logan bit his lip and seemed reluctant, and Virgil quickly rushed to take it back, knowing how Logan didn’t always want to use his abilities and not wanting to put him in this position. “No, nevermind it was a dumb idea, you don’t have to.”

“No it’s alright,” Logan said. “I’m just not sure what I could do with them. I cannot maintain the concentration it took to move cars without harming the drivers and passengers. Also they are quite heavy so I may exhaust myself.”

“It doesn’t have to be much or for long,” Virgil said quietly. He didn’t want to make Logan do anything if he didn’t want to but he was growing more desperate by the second. “But if it would make you too tired…”

“Virgil,” Logan cut him off. “I said I would. Here, perhaps…”

Logan didn’t finish his statement, instead just going through with his idea. Virgil felt Logan’s magic grow again as he felt himself being pulled closer to Logan from all angles. The gentle pressure on his shoulder helped to steady it as the comfort of the magic and the embrace surrounded Virgil. His pain became more manageable as he glanced up at Logan, smiling widely at his boyfriend’s glowing eyes. Virgil rested his head back onto Logan’s chest as he closed his eyes, focusing on the wonderful feeling of Logan all around him instead of the pain. It worked even better than he thought it would, as the next thing he knew he was being gently woken up as they arrived at their destination.

The first thing Virgil noticed when he woke up wasn't the fact that he was in his boyfriend's lap or even the hand on his good shoulder gently shaking him awake. No, the first thing Virgil noticed was deep, sharp, horrible pain. His good hand went immediately to his shoulder, as if that would help and a pained groan escaped his mouth. The pain kept rising and falling, like waves coming in from the ocean. It would be less sharp and breathtaking for just a moment, before another wave came in, each wave somehow worse than the one before.

“Can you walk?” Logan’s voice cut through the pain. “We need to take you inside so you can take more of the pain medication.”

Absolutely not, Virgil thought

“Mhmm,” Was how Virgil replied. He carefully began to make his way off of his boyfriend and out of the car, the pain causing black spots to appear in his vision as he moved, but he didn’t make any sounds. By the time he got out of the car, he couldn’t even pretend he was able to walk, instead just slumping against the side of the car. Logan waved Patton over, and Patton began digging through the other car, probably for those damn pain meds. Virgil hadn’t gone this long without them since he had actually gotten stabbed, and the others could probably tell.

Logan went to help unload their bags from the car along with Roman, and Virgil had to resist the urge to ask one of them to stay with him. They had helped so much getting him asleep in the car, he couldn’t ask for more. Finally, Patton approached him, carrying two pills in the palm of his hand and a water bottle in the other.

“I am so sorry I forgot to leave these with you kiddo,” Patton said. He held the pills out to Virgil but noticed the way Virgil winced when he tried to reach for them, so instead he just popped them into Virgil’s mouth and tilted the water bottle for him. “How long ago did they wear off?”

“‘Bout an hour into the drive,” Virgil muttered, trying to compose himself before following the others inside. Patton sighed.

“You must be in a lot of pain. I’m so sorry. Do you need help walking?”

Virgil wanted to say no, but as he pushed himself off the car with a mumbled “‘s okay” He realized it was absolutely not okay and he was not going to be able to get through that door himself without passing out. Patton must have realized this, because before Virgil could even admit to needing help, Patton had his arm around Virgil’s waist and was draping Virgil’s good arm around his shoulders.

Virgil leaned much more weight than he would have liked onto his younger companion, but Patton didn’t seem to mind. Virgil just forced himself to stay quiet and not cry as Patton helped him lean against a wall.

“Raid the store?” Janus was asking Patton. Or at least that is what he assumed was happening, because the moment Patton had let go of him he had closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep tears from falling. He felt his legs shaking slightly as he put most of his weight on that wall and took deep, controlled breaths as Patton had told him to do with painful injuries. It didn’t help much.

“Lets just look for pillows and blankets, or something to sleep on.” Patton replied, sounding farther away than he had been when Virgil closed his eyes. Another wave of pain broke over his shoulder and he let out a quiet huff of air, keeping his eyes shut tight.

“Fine,” Janus replied. Virgil heard footsteps walking away, likely to look for said pillows and blankets.

“Okay that was weird,” Roman’s voice this time. “But I am very stiff from driving, so I’m gonna worry about that after I am laying on a very soft blanket, so I’ll meet you guys back here.” 

More footsteps as people left. Virgil would have thought he was alone at this point, if not for his powers telling him that Logan was within the vicinity, moving to a point just out of range, and Virgil took another deep breath, the extra pain really not helping in that moment. 

“Virgil?” Logan spoke. “What would you like me to do? Would you like me to touch you?”

Virgil opened his eyes a crack, hoping Logan couldn’t see the tears in his eyes or the pain that was likely written all over his face. He knew Logan taking that last step closer would help. And he also knew having some sort of physical contact to ground him right now would help. But every shift in his body hurt. Hell, the waves of pain kept crashing over him even when he didn’t move. But God, he needed Logan so much right now.

“Carefully?” Virgil settled on as his reply, trying to ignore how strained his voice sounded even to his own ears.

Logan nodded and closed the last bit of distance between them as he very gently intertwined his fingers with Virgil’s right hand, moving slowly enough to not cause any other movement, meaning his shoulder was safe.

“Is this alright?” Logan asked once he was fully holding Virgil’s hand.

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed as he gripped Logan’s hand tightly, trying to ground himself as he continued to breathe and his knees continued to shake. Another wave of pain crashed over him and his grip tightened even more. Damn it, he was being so needy and useless.

“I’m sorry.” Virgil muttered under his breath.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Logan replied without hesitation. “I am not upset, nor is anyone else. It is okay to be in pain, and I will stay here with you, doing whatever you wish for me to do, until you are feeling better. We have as much time as you need.”

“Okay,” Virgil relented. He wasn’t exactly sure he believed Logan, but he was just in too much pain to argue right now. He leaned further into the wall as his knees continued to shake violently from the pain that seemed to take over all of the functions in his body.

“Is there any chance we could sit down somewhere?” Virgil asked without thinking.

“Of course,” Logan replied with a nod. He looked around the shop for a moment before adding: “I am going to retrieve a few chairs, I will return shortly.”

“Okay,” Virgil replied reluctantly, not wanting to lose the only thing grounding him right now, but also knowing he would not be able to stand for as long as it would take the pain meds to kick in.

He let go of Logan’s hand, his left hand immediately clenched into a fist where his nails dug into the cuts on his palms once more and he forced himself to loosen the grip. He instead focused on the tugging feeling that pulled at his chest when Logan walked away, closing his eyes once more. He felt Logan actually use his powers and opened his eyes just a sliver to see him forcing a door open to retrieve an office chair. He closed his eyes again and listened to the sound of Logan rolling the chair over. He felt the tugging relax as Logan came into range and opened his eyes once more to see Logan offering him a hand. Virgil took it and tried to give Logan a grateful smile, but it probably ended up looking very pained. Logan helped him sit down into the chair and with something to lean back against a small amount of the tension Virgil was carrying was able to relax. Logan kneeled down by Virgil.

“Is there anything else you would like me to do?” Logan asked.

“Stay?” Virgil replied, though it sounded more like a question. He sounded weak and small and vulnerable and useless but damn it he needed Logan right now.

“Of course,” Logan said, without even a pause. “Would you like me to remain quiet or continue to speak?”

“Talk, please.” Logan’s voice, his hand, all of it was helping to ground Virgil, away from the pain. The meds were starting to kick in and Virgil felt he could keep his eyes open without tears overflowing, but his grip on Logan’s hand was still just as tight as the waves continued to crash over him again and again.

“Alright,” Logan nodded. He hesitated as he clearly tried to think of something to talk about, before finally speaking again. “How about you give me a constellation and I could tell you the story behind it?” Logan suggested. 

That sounded perfect. Virgil loved astronomy, and he loved stories. Logan knew him so well. Virgil tried to think of a constellation, but drew a blank, the pain making it hard to think, so he went with something simple. A zodiac sign.

  
“Tell me about yours,” Virgil mumbled quietly.

“The myth of Scorpio,” Logan began to tell the story, his voice soothing and helping to calm the waves as he spoke. “This is intertwined with the myth of Orion, the greatest mortal hunter. He was close friends with the goddess Artemis, one of the only men she ever respected. However, Orion’s pride and his greed began to rule him. His friendship with the goddess boosted his ego until he was out of control. He boasted to Artemis and her mother, Leto, that he would one day hunt and kill every creature on Earth.”

“Artemis, while the goddess of the hunt, did not support hunting for no purpose. Killing for killing’s sake, if you would. To her horror, Orion actually attempted to carry out this deed. So, with no choice but to stop him, Artemis raised a giant scorpion from the earth with the help of Gaia, the goddess of the Earth. The scorpion gave chase and Orion, unable to defeat it. The scorpion never hungered or tired and continued to pursue the hunter until he dropped dead. Justice was finally served, but Artemis took pity on Orion at the last moment, turning him into the constellation we know. But she could not let him get away that easily, so she sent the scorpion into the heavens as well, where it chases him to this day.”

As Logan spoke, the waves became more and more tame, until his pain was no longer as sharp and more of an intense, but dull, throbbing. Logan brushed some of the hair out of Virgil’s eyes before he spoke again.

“Would you like me to tell another one?” Logan asked.

“No it’s okay,” Virgil muttered. It was more tolerable now, so he should stop taking two perfectly good helpers away from the group. Or, well, one perfectly good helper considering he was still mostly incapacitated by pain. “Starting to feel a bit better. Should probably help now.”

“Are you sure?” Logan questioned. “You could take a few more minutes. We have to do the warding anyway, I don’t want you to be in a state where that saps your strength.”

Virgil sighed, giving in easily. Just one more story. Then the pain meds will have probably kicked in more and he could actually be of help without having to resist the urge to try out every time he took a step. “Yeah, okay, maybe one more. Mine this time? It’s Sagittarius.”

“I know that one as well,” Logan replied. Virgil gave a small smile. Of course he did, his boyfriend was an absolute nerd. “Sagittarius is better known as the centaur Chiron, renowned trainer of heroes across Greek Mythology. He was a legendary archer, physician and scholar. Demigods and mortals alike sought his wisdom, even gods on occasion. His death was sadly caused by one of his own pupils. A stray arrow from Heracles hit him one day. Normally he would have been able to heal himself, but the arrow was poisoned.”

“Except Chiron was immortal and therefore unable to truly die. He was forced to suffer instead for years until he offered to replace Prometheus, the titan who brought fire to humans. He gave up his immortality to free Prometheus. Zeus, in recognition of his kindness, ended his pain and replace his mortal body with the one in the stars. Now his pupils could feel as though their teacher was watching over them even when gone, and he could be free from the shackles of immortality.”

By the time Logan finished the second story, the waves were gone, leaving him with a persistent ache, but he could handle that. Plus, he had learned that the pain meds don't make it much better than this, so he’d have to deal with it. His grip was now basically normal on Logan’s hand, which was probably good, he had probably been cutting off circulation.

“You’re really good at telling stories.” Virgil spoke, trying to show his appreciation for Logan having helped him so much.

“I’m not sure about that,” Logan laughed lightly. “I simply tell the stories I know. It isn’t exactly grand.”

“Well you’re good at it,” Virgil said, before truly adding how much he appreciated Logan’s help, even if he felt weak for needing to ask for it. “And it… it helps me a lot. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Logan smiled. “If it truly helps you, then you need only ask. I will gladly tell you any story I know.”

Virgil returned Logan’s smile with a small one of his own. If Logan was offering, well, he’d want Virgil to say yes if Virgil wanted to, right?

“I may take you up on that sometime.” Virgil replied.

“Very well,” Logan agreed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Virgil admitted. “I think I can set up the wards now. I mean, this is probably as good as it's gonna get anyway, so if I can’t then we have a problem. You should find the others, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Would you like my assistance?” Logan questioned, ignoring Virgil’s statement about finding the others. Virgil hesitated. He wanted to ask Logan to stay, but he didn’t really  _ need _ it. He could do it without Logan, so he should let Logan help the others. Virgil opened his mouth to deny Logan’s offer, but Logan must have noticed his hesitation, because he answered for Virgil. “Then I shall remain.”

Virgil gave Logan’s hand a final, grateful squeeze before forcing himself out of the chair. “Where’s my bag? I can't do a spell circle easily without the talismans, but I guess I can probably do it without. I just need the chalk.”

Virgil really did not want to do a spell without a spell circle. He never did. Even in a spell circle, his magic felt unsafe, as if someone, or something, could reach in and corrupt it. But outside of a circle, Virgil just felt that much more vulnerable. But with Logan here… well, maybe with Logan here he could do it. Plus, he just really didn’t want to be left alone while Logan went to find the things they could use. 

“I could attempt to find elemental symbols for you to use,” Logan offered, once again noticing Virgil’s reluctance. Either Virgil was really easy to read, or Logan just knew him too well, because he seemed to be able to read Virgil’s mind sometimes..

“No, that’s okay,” Virgil replied, reminding himself that he was sage with Logan here. And if he was safe there was no point in getting the symbols. He would be okay. “It’s just a couple simple warding sigils, I can do it.”

“Are you sure?” Logan questioned, his eyes narrowed in worry and concern. “It’s quite a simple task, and I can easily take care of myself.”

“I know you can,” Virgil said. “But I’m sure. I don’t need it.”

“That doesn’t mean you cannot have it,” Logan replied. “Virgil is there a reason you wish for me not to leave?”

“I…” Virgil began, before glancing at the ground. It wasn’t like he had a good reason to not tell Logan, it was just a weird thing to admit. “You make me feel safe, okay? And if you’re here then… well then I don’t think I need the spell circle.”

“Oh,” Logan seemed to make some sort of realization. “I understand now. Then yes, I can stay. I won’t let it hurt you, I swear. I’ll enter your mind and fight it my own damn self if I have to. And I can assure you, that considering the boy waiting for me, I will win.”

Well, apparently Logan figured out why Virgil was so scared to do spells without spell circles. Virgil had no problem with him knowing that, he had just not expected such open hostility from Logan. Roman, maybe, but Logan? He just wasn’t normally that kind of person.

“Yeah, okay.” Virgil finally spoke, tearing himself from his thoughts and surprise. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, but thanks I guess. Anyway, let’s get this over with.”

“Yes, let’s,” Logan agreed quickly, before retrieving Virgil’s chalk from his bag. There wasn’t much left after his outburst, but it would be enough for now. Virgil took it and carefully kneeled in front of the store entrance. He held the chalk awkwardly in his right hand and took a deep breath. Logan was right here. He could do this.

He began to draw, opening his mind to the magic and energy around him. He drew very large to make it easier to get the shapes right with his wrong hand. He focused on Logan’s presence beside him as he drew on the energies, ignoring the slight darkness he encountered a couple of times and focusing on the positives.

It only took a few minutes, and when Virgil was done he immediately put back up his guard, blocking out all of the energies weak enough for him to do so, so he could just feel Logan beside him and Janus somewhere in the store. He sighed in relief. He had done it. He handed the chalk to Logan quickly, not wanting to think about what he had just done and his stress and anxiety over it any longer than he had to. And thankfully, a perfect distraction presented itself very quickly, in the form of a yell from across the room. 

“I FOUND PILLOWS!!!” Patton yelled loudly. “AND I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA!! PILLOW FORTS!!!!”

“THEN GO BACK TO THE ENTRANCE,” Roman shouted. “WE’LL MEET YOU THERE!!”

Virgil and Logan shared an exasperated look.

“They are aware we have a server for this exact purpose, right?” Logan asked.

Virgil couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him. With everything going on he didn’t get to laugh a lot recently, but this situation seemed to call for it. His smile remained on his face even as the laugh died as Patton came running into view with his arms full of pillows and blankets.

“Pillow fort time!” Patton announced as he deposited an armful of pillows and blankets on the ground. Virgil felt Logan’s magic flare as he flicked his wrist just in time to prevent their bags from being lost amidst the pile of cloth. “I’ll go get more!” Patton said as he ran off once more.

“Well he’s feeling energetic,” Logan mumbled to himself. 

“Is this new to you?” Virgil smirked.

“More energetic than on average,” Logan amended. 

“Okay that’s better,” Virgil laughed. Logan got back at him by summoning just enough magic to make his eyes glow. Virgil flushed and looked away quickly. “Meanie.”

“Meanie?” Roman asked as he walked back into the open area at the front of the store. “Oh, are we flustering Virgil again?”

“God I hope not,” Janus whined as he got back as well. “I do not want to deal with your gay shit right now.” 

“Yeah you should listen to Janus,” Virgil quickly agreed. “No flustering me when we are supposed to be making pillow forts.”

“You are no fun,” Roman pouted. Uhg, he was so cute when he pouted. Remus got back at that point as well and Logan looked away quickly. Virgil just focused on his cute boyfriend pouting. 

“I have more pillows!” Patton yelled as he skidded to a stop and deposited even more blankets and pillows. “You think that’s enough? I can get more!”

“Are we building a fort or a castle?” Roman asked as he looked at the huge pile of bedding Patton had accumulated. “Yes, I think that is plenty.”

“Well then what are you kiddos waiting for, let’s get to building!” Patton squealed, literally diving into the pile as if it was a pool.

“How does one construct a pillow fort exactly?” Logan asked hesitantly. Oh God, had Logan really never built a pillow fort!? It made sense, but still, that was just sad. But Virgil had just regained his memories of how to build a pillow fort a few weeks ago, so he couldn’t really judge.

“Pile pillows and blankets until you get them to stand up and make a fort,” Patton said simply as he began to sort through the pile he had created. Yes, because that was definitely enough of an explanation and would totally create a stable fort.

“That...surely that isn’t the case,” Logan objected. “That would not be a stable structure whatsoever.”

“But it’s fun!” Patton countered as he began propping pillows against each other excitably.

“We always did it with chairs and shit,” Roman cut in, with the most beautiful child-like grin. “Just pillows would be fine for like one or two people but there’s like six of us. Here, Remus, let’s show them how it’s done.”

Roman was asking for Remus? Well, it made sense considering they were twins and had likely made countless pillow forts together, but Remus’s reaction showed Virgil was not the only one caught off guard by this. But Remus quickly recovered. “Yeah, okay, let’s do that.”

Virgil was honestly shocked that he hadn’t figured out magic existed before this. Like seriously, if the way the twins worked together wasn’t magic, then what was? They moved around, seeming to know where the other was at all times as they propped up pillows and blankets, using chairs and other objects to make it much more stable than it would have been if left up to Patton.

“You think we should use the shelves?” Roman questioned, putting his hands on his hips as he examined the furniture in question. Yep, that was definitely going to become a drawing in Virgil’s sketchbook, Roman being childish was amazing, plus his little tongue thing when he concentrated, adorable. “It’d be good for the roof but I dunno how we’d secure it.”

“We could use some of those beach snow globes,” Remus suggested with a grin. “I don’t know why the fuck they exist, but they could work.”

“It really doesn’t make sense,” Roman said as he began to gather snow globes. “Here hold up the blanket for me.”

Remus held up the blanket as him and Roman worked together to adjust the blanket just right, creating the illusion of walls in the fort. Meanwhile Patton worked inside the fort, adjusting the pillows and blankets so they would be comfortable to sleep on.

“I just got an amazing and horrible idea that we are definitely doing,” Roman announced. “We don’t have fairy lights but I did see a substitute, come on.”

The twins ran off and returned a few minutes later with their arms full of flamingo fairy lights. They were the most cursed objects Virgil had ever seen, and he’d seen a demon. They were fucking perfect.

“I wanna help!” Virgil yelled, coming forward to help with the fairy lights, practically bouncing in his excitement.

“Alright alright, calm down,” Roman laughed. “You and me can hold up the lights and Rem, wanna tape ‘em up?”

“Well how can I say no to that?” Remus smiled and handed Virgil one end of the lights. Him and Roman went to opposite sides of the fort and Virgil stood on his toes, reaching up with his right arm as much as he could. He was barely able to reach the top of the shelf for Remus to tape them on, but he managed.

“How much have you done this?” Logan wondered.

“We did it all the time as kids-” Remus started, but cut himself off, seeming to break out of his happy trance enough to remember they were all pissed at him. “Roman, why don’t you tell him.”

“I will because you said ‘as kids’,” Roman scoffed. “We do it every year on our birthday, including the one where we turned eighteen, and that’s at the absolute least. We don’t do it as much anymore but it’s like instinct at this point.”

“Janus and I do it every week on our movie night!” Patton added. “Though it’s never this fancy! You kiddos really know what you’re doing!”

“We make a good team, what can I say?” Roman shrugged before he got into his elaborate and adorable prince pose and recited him and Remus’s motto: “Oberon twins always have each others’ backs.”

“Yeah,” Remus said, looking like he was about to cry. “Yeah, we try.”

That reaction seemed to bring Roman out of his happy trance as well as he remembered what was going on with Remus as well. As much as Virgil was mad at Remus, he was kind of disappointed. Roman had just seemed so happy, and Virgil wanted him to be able to keep that. Janus redirected the focus before it could get anymore awkward though, flopping into the pillow fort dramatically.

“How is it?” Patton asked excitedly.

“Comfy,” Janus replied, and Patton bounced and clapped his hands happily.

“Yay! Now we should all get some rest before tomorrow. Also, Virgil gets this spot.” Patton pointed to the corner with almost half the pillows piled there. Of course.

“Fucking shoulder doesn’t fucking mean I need all the fucking pillows,” Virgil grumbled, though they all seemed to ignore him.

“Fair enough,” Logan shrugged and carefully crawled into the fort next to Janus.

Virgil heard some shuffling inside the pillow fort and decided to give them all a minute to get comfortable before he went in. He stood awkwardly with Remus and Roman, not really knowing what to say so waiting for one of them to start.

“Actually getting the scroll and finding the ingredients and shit had made this whole killing a demon thing  _ way  _ more real,” Roman started. Yeah, he didn’t have to tell Virgil twice. “Like people are gonna notice something happened, right? This is like reality, are we just gonna tell people 'Oh yeah a demon was eating your dreams hence why you woke up and months had passed but it's gone now so you're good'?”

That was...a very good question. And Virgil had no clue what the answer was. Shit.

“We make up some plausible shit,” Remus shrugged. “Cult, maybe some sort of gas, worshiped demon but we don’t tell them the demon was real, shit like that.”

“And what about us?” Roman continued. “We're just a bunch of random teenagers, are they gonna believe we took on a cult and woke them up all on our own?”

“Probably not,” Remus shrugged. “But what else would there be to believe? We are literally the only people on the world awake outside of the cult, so...one sec.”

Remus paused and stepped closer to the fort so he could poke his head in.

“They won’t be.” Remus said with a shrug. “They’ve been with the rest of the cult since you guys left. Unless the whole fucking cult is there to ambush us, then they won’t be there.”

What the actual fuck was happening? Remus just stood back up and turned back to them as if nothing had happened. “So who else would have done it?” He finished.

Virgil looked between Roman and Remus in confusion. Roman seemed completely unfazed and gave Virgil a look that conveyed ‘just go with it’. Okay, sure, whatever.

“I guess,” Roman sighed. “Ugh we're gonna have to do interviews and shit aren't we?”

“Nooooooo,” Virgil groaned. “I refuse. I will let the demon win before I do an interview.”

“That’s fair,” Remus chuckled. “But they aren’t actually that bad, you’ll be....actually no, you’re extremely awkward, you will absolutely not be fine, good luck.”

“Yeah I was gonna say that interviews are just acting as yourself but then I remembered that, well,” Roman offered a sheepish smile to Virgil. “I love you but you cannot act.”

Virgil groaned and hung his head back to look at the ceiling. “I’m leaving the world asleep.” He announced. 

“That is so valid,” Roman laughed. “I mean we could just make Dee do all the interviews…”

Remus looked like he was about to say something then suddenly paused and turned to the fort again. Why the fuck? How...when...why...Virgil had so many questions.

“You can borrow one of mine,” Remus said. One of his what? Virgil just...he fucking gave up. “I mean, if you want.”

“Okay,” Patton replied from inside the fort and Virgil heard some shuffling. “But I expect snuggles when I get back.”

“You can be the center of the cuddle pile,” Janus said. “Hey, Oberon? The short one.”

“Hey at least I’m older!” Remus retorted and Roman made a mocking face, but he went back over to the entrance of the fort “What’s up?”

“Thank you,” Janus said.

“It’s no problem,” Remus replied. “He can borrow my shirts whenever he needs.”

Okay, so Patton was borrowing a shirt. At least Virgil had that much information. But why? And how was Remus eavesdropping while talking. Well, that did kind of make sense because he was a spy...but still! Uhg, could things just make sense for once in his fucking life!?

“That is very kind of you, Remus,” Logan spoke, surprising Virgil and Remus too, as he failed to reply and just nodded before returning to where Roman, Virgil and now Patton were waiting.

Remus began digging for a shirt as Virgil watched in confusion.

“W...why?” Virgil finally asked, his confusion evident in his voice. Patton glanced at him in surprise then grinned.

“Oh kiddo, I forgot I didn’t tell you, I assumed you would have figured it out,” Patton smiled. “I’m trans.”

Oh. Okay, cool.

“Cool,” Virgil smiled back. Patton chucked then took the shirt Remus was handing him and ran off to change. It didn’t take very long, and Patton was soon back and crawling back into the fort in an absurdly oversized shirt. Roman followed a moment after and Virgil was left outside with Remus.

They stood in an awkward silence for a minute, just staring at each other, neither knowing what to say. Virgil finally broke away, deciding he had to escape this situation as soon as possible, even if that meant going into the fort and watching all his friends and boyfriends snuggle without him. He was about to get in when he realized Logan hadn’t been wearing his charm. He went over to Logan’s bag and unzipped it with his teeth, assuming Logan wouldn’t care, and quickly found the charm. He went back over to the fort, ignoring Remus once more, and yeeted the charm at Logan.

“That thing took forever to make, fucking use it.” Virgil grumbled. Virgil crawled into the fort carefully, and couldn’t help wishfully glancing at the cuddle pile that had formed with Janus, Logan, Roman and Patton. He forced himself to look away as he reluctantly crawled to his pillow corner. It was his fault anyways for getting stabbed, he couldn’t really complain.

“Use what?” Janus asked suddenly, reminding Virgil that the others didn’t actually know about the charm he had made for his boyfriend.

“I made him a charm to stop his nightmares.” Virgil said simply. “It was no big deal though. I’m just glad it works.”

“That’s why you stopped fucking screaming in the middle of the night,” Janus realized. “Anything else you forgot to tell us? Again?”

“Actually,” Roman mumbled and looked at Logan. Yesssssssss. “You wanna tell em?”

“I suppose,” Logan shrugged. “There is no harm either way.”

“Tell us what kiddos?” Patton asked.

“If you say you two started dating I’m gonna lose my shit,” Janus warned. Logan sighed and Virgil bit back a laugh. Even he had assumed that.

“No, why does everyone think that?” Roman complained. “No, me and Logan are queerplatonic. So like literally the opposite of that.”

“Awww that is so CUTE!!” Patton squealed. “All my kiddos care about each other so much!!”

“I care about two of you,” Janus deadpanned. “And one of those two is an idiot, so he’s on thin ice.”

“Which one?” Patton asked curiously.

“You’ve got a point,” Janus nodded solemnly. “They’re both idiots.”

“Well then I don’t know who you are talking about.” Patton pouted playfully. 

“You and Oreo back there,” Janus replied, nipping playfully at Patton’s nose. Patton made a high pitched noise that sounded like a guinea pig as he leaned away and swatted at Janus, a real smile on his face. Logan laughed as he moved out of the way in an attempt to avoid being caught in the crossfire. Virgil really wished he could join, so in attempt to distract himself, he focused on the missing member of the group.

“Remus, are you coming?” Virgil asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Remus replied, awkwardly crawling into the fort. He glanced between Virgil and the cuddle pile a few times. He crawled over to Virgil. Virgil internally laughed at the awkwardness that he had been trying to avoid by getting into the fort, then invited in to avoid being sad about the cuddle pile and how the pillow fort made his shoulder hurt. 

“You good?” Remus asked.

“Yeah I’m fine,” Virgil replied without even thinking as he shifted to find a comfortable position in the pillows and winced as pain flared in his shoulder. Fucking stab wound.

“I’m gonna make a card I can hold up,” Janus sighed. “I’m gonna wear my voice out calling you all out on your bullshit. I don’t even know what you said, but it was fake as hell.”

“Okay, so my shoulder is not happy with the pillow fort and I’m pissed that I can’t join the cuddle pile,” Virgil groaned. “Not exactly much we can do about either of those things, so I’m not sure how helpful saying it was, but there’s the truth.”

“I get the feeling there are a lot of cuddle piles in our future,” Roman pointed out, giving Virgil a sad smile. “You can definitely join one that doesn’t take place on the floor.”

“I know,” Virgil sighed. Fuck why wouldn’t his shoulder stop hurting!? He shifted again and groaned. He literally had like half the pillows, why was this happening? Why was this his life? Why couldn’t he do one fucking thing without his shoulder trying to kill him!? “Although I’m beginning to think the pile will be more comfortable.”

Remus started shifting around and moving pillows, propping them up behind himself before placing one in his lap and patting it, inviting Virgil to lay down there. Virgil hesitated, not really wanting to accept help from his parent’s murderer, but also he was the reason Roman was alive and he was clearly trying. Plus, Virgil really fucking wanted his shoulder to hurt less so he could sleep. So, he laid down, and oh God it was so much fucking better.

“That any better?” Remus asked. “It should give your shoulder more support.”

“Yeah that’s a bit better,” Virgil admitted, though it was definitely more than ‘a bit’ better, the support bringing the pain back to the dull throb it had been before crawling into the fort.

“Good,” Remus replied. Remus began to run his hands through Virgil’s hair and as much as Virgil was angry with Remus, the feeling was just so comforting. It made him feel comfortable and loved like Roman always did. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax into Remus’s lap with a sigh, allowing himself to fall asleep.

Virgil woke up when Remus shifted slightly, abruptly reminding him of the events the night before that led to him sleeping on the lap of his parent’s killer. Well, that was awkward. 

However, despite it being awkward, Remus was also very warm and comfortable, so Virgil procrastinated on sitting up until Patton woke up and they discussed what their plan was. They decided they could not come back here to sleep that night, because of Fove and because of Virgil. Virgil wanted to object to the second point, but his shoulder was annoyed enough with sleeping on the floor one night, and he was feeling way too awkward to use Remus as a pillow again. So they decided to return the pillow fort supplies to where they came from before going to the Faith’s house to get ingredients for the spell, like the pentagram, lemon oil, amethyst, selenite and hematite. They’d also have to get Huckleberries at some point along with the sand, but those wouldn’t be at the Faith house or the Everglades.

Virgil was feeling pretty good about this plan, having a list of what they needed made him feel a little better about the spell, and he thought they were about done, but then Logan spoke up.

“If I may make a suggestion?” Logan said, and everyone looked at him. “I believe it would be wise to add something to the spell.”

Really? This thing was already absurdly complex and the chances Virgil could successfully cast it were moderate at best. Was adding something else really a good idea? But Logan was really smart and knew a lot more magic than Virgil, so maybe he should hear his boyfriend out.

“I dunno that we should make it any more complex than it already is,” Virgil pointed out hesitantly. “But what do you think we should add?”

“An amulet,” Logan replied simply. “Specifically one of amber.”

“Amber…” Virgil trailed off. What did amber do again? It protected against something, but it was something more specific...OH! “Oh! Protection from psychic attacks and crap, right?”

“Yes. The spell circle should offer you some level of protection against magical attacks and we will be there for physical attacks, however we also know what kind of things the demon and Fove are capable of. I want us to be fully prepared and you to be fully protected.”

Right, the demon that terrified Virgil to no end. The demon that got in Virgil’s head with that horrifying voice that Virgil would probably never forget. The demon that was feeding off the dreams of everyone on the entire planet right now. Virgil glanced down and picked at the edge of his sling anxiously. As much as he didn’t want to make anything more complicated, extra protection from that monster probably wasn’t a bad thing. 

“I mean… It’s not a bad idea.” Virgil admitted reluctantly.

“Okay but my mom didn’t have an amber amulet just lying around,” Janus pointed out. “And I don’t know where the fuck we’d find one.”

“Well that’s okay if she didn’t have one I would be fine without,” Virgil quickly piped up. He was already an amateur spell caster that had gotten himself nearly killed despite being their best bet to get out of this, and now he was making things more complicated because, what, he was a little freaked? No, he’d be okay without it. “I mean, really it’s just his voice, right? What harm can that do?” 

“Distract you,” Logan replied. “Or attempt a true psychic attack, which you have little to no defense for. As for the amulet, we do not need to find one. Theoretically, we could create it ourselves.”

“How?” Virgil asked, trying not to let himself get too hopeful.

“That I’m not as sure of,” Logan admitted. “But I do know it is possible.”

“I know how to make one,” Remus said, looking directly at Virgil as he spoke. “I learned with Fove. They were always making random magic shit. I’m not very good at it though, so I’d probably need help.”

“I’ll help,” Roman volunteered, making sure not to look at Remus. Okay, so Remus couldn’t look at Logan, Logan couldn’t look at Remus, Roman couldn’t look at Remus, Remus couldn’t look at Roman...God, how could anyone keep track of this shit? “I’m not sure what I could do considering this shit doesn’t make a lick of sense to me, but I’ll try.”

“Actually, there are some more creative elements I think you’d be good at that I kinda suck at.” Remus shrugged. “So yeah, I think with the two of us we could do it.”

Virgil’s hand paused it’s fidgeting as he glanced up at Logan hesitantly. “So… this would actually, like…. keep him out of my head? Like… if I wore it all the time he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t be able to get to me?”

“Exactly,” Logan replied confidently, and Virgil felt his eyes watering. Oh thank God. “You would never have to hear his poisonous words again.”

Virgil smiled as he quickly wiped off his wet eyes. This was amazing, he couldn’t believe it! He’d finally be free! He wouldn’t have to be scared of not using a spell circle, or of accidentally reaching out to the victims of the sleep. He would finally be free of all that fear and worry. 

“Okay, okay, yeah.” Virgil said, failing to keep his voice from cracking. “Can we get the amber then? And any other supplies we need?”

“Mom was obsessed with crystals and shit so we should have all that,” Janus spoke up. “Same with the lemon oil and obviously the pentagram. That’s about it so...I guess we might as well go today.”

“And it should only take Roman and I a couple days to make the amulet.” Remus gave Virgil a smile. Damn it, why was he being so nice! The man murdered his parents, couldn’t he just let Virgil be mad for a bit!? Please!

“Okay, that sounds good,” Virgil nodded and looked away from Remus as he tried to pull himself together. “Janus, Patton, you sure you’re okay with this? You two could stay back, maybe we could leave you with Logan or Roman for extra protection. You don’t have to come, we can find it without you.”

“There is no way in hell I’m not going,” Janus growled.

“And if JJ’s going then I’m definitely going.” Patton declared from where he sat, buried in flannel and blankets and curled up in a ball. 

“Pat if you don’t want to go then I can handle it,” Janus said gently, switching to the older brother demeanor that Virgil was happy to say Janus used on him now too.

“No, it’s okay,” Patton replied with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be okay.”

Janus sighed and scooted closer to Patton to wrap his arms around his brother. Virgil wanted to join but he didn’t think he could navigate the pillow fort right now without pain and a potential dad lecture, so he just watched, wishing there was more he could do to help, but not knowing what. He wanted to help his brothers. Well, technically he hadn’t decided yet but...yeah, either way Virgil thought of them as his brothers now.

“Shall we deconstruct our structure and depart then?” Logan suggested.

“Can I go change while you guys take it down?” Patton asked, sounding small as he looked at Janus for permission.

“Yeah you go do that,” Janus nodded. “I can wrangle the kids while you’re gone.”

Patton got a small smile on his face as he untangled himself from the blankets and pillows and rushed to go change. They all began to make their way out from the fort, Virgil hissing and grumbling as his shoulder tried to murder him. Once they were all out the twins began to disassemble the fort. Virgil went to go help but Janus instead dragged him over to the chair and forced Virgil to take more pain meds. Virgil was kind of grateful though, he needed them. Logan used his abilities to help clean up, which both made Virgil feel better and helped speed up the work, and then it was time to leave.

While Logan finished up Virgil grabbed his stuff and followed the others to the cars. They figured out car arrangements, this time letting the twins ride together with Patton’s supervision so that they could talk about the amulet, leaving Janus, Virgil, and Logan, aka (in Patton’s words) the Magic Trio, in the other car.

The drive to the house was filled with a tense silence. Janus was driving, and though it wasn’t far, it felt like hours before they finally pulled up to the house. It was just a regular looking house. It had two stories and a tan roof. It had plenty of windows, and a garage. The lawn was clearly well kept, all the grass was perfectly green and the same length. Nothing gave it away as the house of two cultists.

Once Janus put the car in park he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Virgil wanted to help but he didn’t know how, so he just sat there as he watched Logan place a supporting hand on Janus’s shoulder.

“You do not have to do this,” Logan said to Janus. “No one will blame you should you wish to remain in the car.”

“You guys need me,” Janus replied. “Me and Pat know the house and neither of us is letting the other deal with this shit alone. So I’m going.”

Janus got out of the car before Logan or Virgil could say anything else. They followed him to the porch where Janus grabbed a hidden key from behind a loose piece of stone. He put it in the key hole but paused, his hands shaking. Patton made his way through the group to place his hand over Janus’s and they turned the key together. God, this was so unfair for them! No one should have to go through this! Virgil just wanted to go back in time and convince his parents not to erase his memory, so he could have helped them end this before it started and his friends wouldn’t have had to go through any of this.

Sadly, time travel didn’t exist.

So, Virgil watched as the brothers pushed the door open and they all made their way into the house, waiting for Patton and Janus to tell them what to do or where to go.

"Let's get this the fuck over with," Janus said. "Split up. We only caught my mom a few times so I have no clue where she actually keeps the shit we need. Hell it might not even be in one place. So I'm gonna check on my snake then check their room. Everyone else: don't touch my shit. Have fun."

Virgil wasn’t sure what exactly to do. Roman and Remus were already searching the couch cushions and pillows for some reason, meanwhile Patton and Janus had gone upstairs. Logan started heading towards a hallway, so Virgil followed, reaching out and grabbing Logan’s hand as he did, for both of their sakes. Virgil glanced around the living room one last time before Logan gently tugged him down the hallway. 

The first door Logan opened led to a bathroom. The second door led to...well fuck, maybe this was a cultists house. Only someone that evil would have a DOOR leading to a KITCHEN! What kind of architectural abomination was that!? Having to carry food through a door to get it to the dining room, on top of blocking off the kitchen and making the space all claustrophobic and difficult to move through. It was just so inconvenient! And it looked bad!

Thankfully, Virgil didn’t have to look at the abomination for long as Logan quickly moved onto the next door to the dining room. Oh, so there were TWO doors blocking the food from getting to the dining room. This was just...this should be illegal.

Logan pulled Virgil out of the hallway and up the stairs. The first room they went by was unmistakably Patton’s room. There was a large soft looking bed in the middle of the room surrounded by light blue walls. There was a cluttered desk and a large collection of family-friendly films stuffed in a case by the TV. There was a large, soft, light blue rug on the floor with black paw prints on it, and stuffed anomaly scattered about. It was just so Patton.

“I don’t think we need to look in here.” Virgil pointed out.

“Most likely not,” Logan replied as he shut the door.

Speaking of Patton, he was actually in the next room that they went into. It was another bedroom, one with much less clutter and it looked a lot more refined, so it was likely the Faith’s room. But what caught Virgil’s attention the most was Patton, sitting on the floor on his knees. He had his back to the door and there was an open box full of papers next to him, and Patton appeared to be holding one of the papers. Him and Logan shared a look before they both went over to Patton, kneeling down on either side of him. 

That was when Virgil could see that Patton was crying, but it was completely quiet, tears just streaming down his face but Patton was making no sound.

Virgil looked at the paper, trying to figure out what was going on. It was a flier for a missing person named Morgan Sanders. Wait, that couldn’t be Logan’s Morgan Sanders, right? No, there was no way. Because if that were the case, why would Patton be upset? Plus, after everything that had happened, Virgil found it hard to believe that anything else could go wrong. So it must be a different Morgan.

Janus came in just then, trying to get past Logan to get to Patton, and Logan scooted back. 

“What’s going on, what happened?” Janus asked as Virgil scooted back to join a distressed Logan. So clearly the poster had freaked Logan out too, but there was still no way it could be because of his childhood friend. She had moved, Logan has said she’d moved.

“Logan, honey, what’s going on?” Virgil asked, praying it wasn’t what was beginning to look more and more likely. Logan shook his head, and Virgil was getting ready to push him to answer but just then Janus threw the poster across the room with a scream of pure rage. What the actual fuck was going on!?

“Okay,” Virgil spoke to everyone in the room this time. “Clearly everyone is upset and I want to help, but will someone please tell me what the hell is going on!?”

“I cannot  _ fucking  _ believe them!” Janus yelled, still not answering Virgil’s question. 

Logan reached for Virgil’s hand, so Virgil scooted closer to wrap his good arm around Logan. He still wasn’t completely sure what was going on, though he had his hunch, but he was still going to comfort Logan, because clearly he needed it, and Patton had Janus. Suddenly, the twins burst into the room, looking ready to fight before they took in the scene, and Roman lowered his katana, looking as confused as Virgil felt.

“Just when I thought they couldn’t fall any fucking lower,” Janus growled. “The bar was on the ground but they still managed to fucking dig underneath it.”

“Okay anyone gonna share with the class?” Roman asked, and of course when Roman asked, they answered, but when it was Virgil it was okay not to because Virgil was always the confused one anyways. 

“This girl?” Janus grabbed another flyer and shoved it in Remus’s face. “That’s fucking  _ Patton _ , from before he transitioned. And before you say anything, I was fucking there, it’s definitely him.”

“Okay…” Virgil began slowly while looking at Logan. “Okay, so Logan, is that why you are freaking out or is there something else…” Virgil trailed off, pretty sure he already knew the answer, but it was just so absurd, he needed Logan to confirm.

“That can’t be Patton,” Logan shook his head. “Because  _ I _ knew her.”

“Wait, that’s  _ that _ Morgan?” Virgil confirmed. “Shit.”

“Yeah that about sums up the situation,” Roman agreed, looking at the flyer Remus had given to him as Remus wandered the room.

“It’s definitely him,” Janus said, putting a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “Which means Patton has a fucking identical twin we don’t know about or they’re the same fucking person.”

“But Morgan was my friend until we were five years old,” Logan protested weakly. Oh God Virgil just wanted to help but he didn’t know how, so he just kept his arm around Logan, hoping he would find the touch comforting and grounding. 

“Yeah and I remember visiting Patton when he was first fucking born,” Janus agreed. “There has to be something we’re not seeing here.”

“There is,” Remus spoke up from beside the bed, a journal in his hands. “They… they altered your memories. Not much, but just enough for Patton and you to think you had been brothers your whole lives. They kidnapped him.”

No one spoke as Logan began to cry and Janus just sat in shock. Patton didn’t even move and Virgil just wanted to be able to help, to make everything better, but he couldn’t.

“Patton?” Roman said gently. Patton, who had been staring at his now empty hands since Janus had took the flyer, finally looked up. He had tears streaming down his face nonstop, and his eyes were completely blank. It was just so not Patton, it broke Virgil’s heart. Patton didn’t say a word, instead just reaching for the box of flyers and throwing it across the room. The loud thud was followed by a somehow even louder silence as everyone just stared in shock. 

“Fuck this shit,” Patton finally spoke in a quiet voice. “Just, fuck all of it.”

Logan leaned heavily into Virgil as Virgil felt Logan’s magic intensify. He tightened his grip, just trying to remind Logan that he was there. That it would be okay, it had to be.

“Patton,” Logan said. “What do you want us to do?”

Patton didn’t reply as his breathing accelerated. His gaze was bouncing around the room in a panic and Janus was clearly too freaked at the moment to notice. Patton was tugging at his shirt and Virgil wanted to help but he knew he couldn’t leave Logan. Thankfully, Roman came forward, a look on his face that Virgil recognized so well from the many, many times he had talked Virgil down from an attack.

“Patton look at me,” Roman said in a soft but stern voice. Patton’s gaze rose to meet Roman’s, full of tears and just looking so sad and broken and lost. Virgil hated it. “You’ve gotta breath, buddy. You’ve seen me count breaths with Virgil so you know what to do, right?” Patton nodded.

“Okay then try and breathe in for four seconds. One, two, three, four.” 

Patton shakily followed Roman’s counting with medium success, and Roman continued.

“Now hold it for seven seconds. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.”

Janus seemed to be coming back from his own shock now, blinking a few times as he looked at at Patton and Roman.

“Last bit, breathe out for eight seconds. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.”

Patton followed Roman’s instructions, but when Roman stopped counting his breathing went back to being fast and shaky, if slightly better than before.

“Shit, okay,” Janus cursed. Patton looked over at Janus desperately and Janus opened his arms. “Come here, Marshmallow.” Patton lept into Janus’s arms, desperately trying to catch his breath and opening his mouth as if he wanted to speak but was failing to do so.

“Okay, we’ve done this before, right?” Janus asked. “Can you find my heartbeat?” Patton pressed closer to Janus and nodded. This was just like what Janus had done for Virgil a few days ago. “Good job. Now we’ve gotta breathe, so I need you to try and breathe with me okay? Can you do that?” Patton nodded again. 

Patton followed along as Janus took deep breaths, doing a much better job with this technique than the counting. After a few breaths, he stopped following the breaths and spoke.

“JJ…” Patton managed, his rough voice barely above a whisper. “Will… will y-you please, please adopt m-me?”

“Absolutely, Patton,” Janus replied without hesitation. “If that’s what you want then I will fight tooth and fucking nail to get you away from them.”

That could be Virgil too, he realized. He could be adopted by Janus. And he was pretty sure he wanted that.

“I want that,”Patton nodded, before finally breaking completely. A broken sob made its way out of his mouth as he clung to Janus desperately. Roman reached out towards Patton, stopping himself at the last minute.

“Patton can I touch you?” Roman asked, masking his desperation with a calm tone.

Instead of answering, Patton just reached for Roman. Roman glazed at Janus for extra confirmation before scooting closer and wrapping his arms around both brothers. Patton reached out for Remus as well, who walked over to them quickly and wrapped his arms around Patton as well. Virgil looked at Logan to see if he wanted to join. Logan hesitated, and that told Virgil all he needed to know. Virgil made sure not to let go of Logan as he scooted them closer to the group so Logan could lean on Janus and wrap an arm around the group as well. Sadly, Virgil only had one arm able to wrap around people right now, and it was currently occupied with Logan, so he just leaned into the group instead of adding to the hug.

“Fuck the past,” Janus declared. “I’m done, I’m done letting it control me. I’ve never listened to people telling me who I am, and I’m sure as hell not going to start now. So, so I’m starting over. My name is Janus. I have powers. I’m seventeen. And I have a family now that I would do anything for.”

Janus laid his head on Logan as Logan closed his eyes. Logan squeezed Virgil’s hand, and Virgil squeezed back, happy to provide any comfort he could. Janus continued murmuring soothing words to Patton as they sat in the group hug, just happy to comfort each other as much as possible.

Eventually they had to finish their goal though. They sent Logan, Patton and Janus outside and quickly retrieved anything they may need. Virgil grabbed all the orange stones, along with all of the stones of any other color of the stones he needed, just to make sure he got them. He grabbed the oils, the pentagram, everything the house had, and threw them in his backpack, before heading outside to Logan, Janus and Patton, ready to provide any comfort they may need. Because no matter what happened, he would always be there for the people he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was one hell of a chapter lol.  
> I hope you enjoyed, and remember this is an interlude week, so keep an eye out for that on Wednesday!! Feel free to leave a comment, see you guy's Wednesday!!!  
> Also, another smarty on Salem's end guessed the whole Morgan being Patton thing. So, shout out to (I hope I get this right) The_Toe_Beans_On_Pattons_Cat_Hoodie(Socially_inept_bean) for guessing that one and giving us another panic of spoilers in the comments lol!!!  
> Also, one last thing, sorry for always putting Virgil in pain lol. I have arthritis at 17 and have been fighting with a flare up the last couple years, so if I'm ever putting Virgil in extra pain, that is me projecting and I sincerely apologize. Poor Virgil did not deserve this lol.


	20. Patton Redefines Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again kiddos!!! We are back with an interlude! This week it is Patton and Janus, and uhhh...let's just say it isn't exactly fluff on either end, sorry!!!!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> denial, family problems, anxiety, fear, dead name, pre-transition image, dysphoria, panic attack, loneliness, confusion, kidnapping, memories being messed with, questioning if adopted family is still 'real' family (the answer: it is!!!)  
> I think that's everything, let me know if I missed anything!!!

Going home was strange after so long. Especially knowing what his parents had done, Patton didn’t know how to feel. They had raised him, they had accepted who he was without question, they had loved him. Or at least, that was what he had thought. But knowing what they were doing… how could Patton love them back knowing that?

He knew Janus was upset too. He could tell by the way he struggled with the key, his hands shaking. He could tell by the way he had shut down the night before. Patton took a deep breath. He didn’t want to go inside. He didn’t want to see the evidence that the parents who had seemingly loved and accepted him were evil.

He had been so scared when he came out to his parents. He had actually come out to Janus first, when he was just eight. Janus had just looked at him for a moment, giving Patton just enough time to get nervous, before he had simply said “Okay, and?”, and suddenly Patton had someone he could be honest to and be himself around without judgment. Janus had just not cared, because he loved Patton no matter what. And he had been so proud of Patton for telling him, and so supportive. That was actually where the nickname Marshmallow came from. Janus had called Patton that all the time before Patton came out to his parents so he didn’t have to hear his dead name. Janus had avoided Patton’s pronouns like the plague when their parents were around, and talked him down when he couldn’t sleep or had a panic attack and started scratching at his arms, trying to escape his own skin.

It had actually taken Janus convincing Patton to come out to their parents, which he didn’t do until he was ten. Janus had convinced Patton that he couldn’t live like this, and promised him that if their parents didn’t accept him he would get Patton out of there and somewhere safe, and he would always be there for Patton. So, Patton had done it, with Janus by his side. And his parents… they had seemed happy. Overjoyed, in fact as they helped schedule him a haircut and buy him a binder, throwing out every dress Patton owned and using his chosen name and pronouns without question. Patton’s parents and Janus were the only people in his life that accepted him without question for who he was. So how could they be evil?

Patton knew this denial wasn’t healthy, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to live in it forever. Sadly, though, he no longer had that option as he stepped forward and placed his hand over his brothers, gently helping him turn the key and open the door to the once safe space Patton had. But it wasn’t safe anymore.

They entered the house and Patton refused to look at the pictures on the table behind the couch, or the blanket he always curled up under with Janus for their movie nights. He refused to look anywhere but the floor as he waited for the others to join them in the living room. He forced back the tears already beginning to fill his eyes as he thought of what he had to do. He had to go to their parents room. He had to see proof of what they had been doing all these years, or he’d never be able to accept it.

"Let's get this the fuck over with," Patton barely noticed Janus speaking as his gaze drifted to the stairs. "Split up. We only caught my mom a few times so I have no clue where she actually keeps the shit we need. Hell it might not even be in one place. So I'm gonna check on my snake then check their room. Everyone else: don't touch my shit. Have fun."

Once Janus was done Patton took a deep breath then made a beeline for the stairs before he could talk himself out of it. He went straight to his parents room and began digging around. He looked in the closet and saw some of his mom’s “wiccan” supplies and harshly wiped a tear from his face. He went to look under the bed, thinking she may have kept more powerful stuff in a more hidden place. He moved his arm around under the bed, not finding anything until his hand hit something hard. It was a box.

He pulled out the box carefully. He had seen plenty of evidence in his mom’s closet but his brain was still desperately trying to make up excuses or reasons, anything to keep him in denial. Whatever was in this box though, Patton was sure it would end that. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before removing the lid off the box. He had expected to see spell ingredients or something but instead he saw… a stack of papers?

He picked up the top page. It was a missing persons flyer for someone named Morgan Sanders. Patton stared at the image on the page in confusion, wondering why it looked so familiar until it clicked.

That was  _ him _ .

He stared at the page in shock, unable to process what he was seeing. Why was there a missing persons flyer for him? He was never missing? And from before he came out? He felt as if his skin was crawling as he looked at the image of his female self. His grip on the page tightened as he wrinkled the edges, tears streaming down his face as he tried to understand what this could mean.

Patton vaguely noticed people sitting on either side of him but didn’t say anything. He couldn’t think. He just didn’t understand. What did this mean? He felt as if his eyes were glued to the picture and no matter how horrible it felt to look at an image of himself looking so… female, he just couldn’t look away.

“What’s going on, what happened?” Janus’s voice. Oh God, Janus. Patton needed him so badly. He needed his brother to take this piece of paper away from him. He felt his breath shortening and he couldn’t breathe. He needed his brother. Please, Janus, please help.

The people that had been sitting beside him before scooted back and suddenly Janus was beside him. He heard Virgil’s voice, asking Logan what was going on. They must have been the ones next to him. 

The same question was asked to him when Janus spoke, asking “Talk to me Marshmallow, what’s wrong, what’s happening?”. 

Patton couldn’t speak, he couldn’t take his eyes off the damn picture, he just angled it so Janus could see what he was looking at. Janus was quiet for a moment as Patton internally begged him to speak, begged him to explain and to take that horrible image away from him, unable to find his voice and make these requests out loud. Finally, Janus fulfilled one of the requests when he snatched the flyer from Patton’s hands and crumpled it up, throwing it across the room with a yell, freeing Patton from the gaze of the girl in the picture.

“Okay,” Virgil cut in, clearly confused. Patton wished he could explain, but he couldn't speak. “Clearly everyone is upset and I want to help, but will someone please tell me what the hell is going on!?”

“I cannot  _ fucking  _ believe them!” Janus yelled. 

Patton’s thoughts were too confused to even notice his language, instead his gaze just stayed at the spot the flyer had been moments before. He could feel the tears streaming down his face but he couldn’t stop them. He just continued to ask his silent questions, begging for answers. He needed to understand. What did this mean? 

Suddenly the twins burst into the room loudly, but Patton didn’t even flinch, his gaze still locked on that empty spot in space that the flyer used to fill.

“Just when I thought they couldn’t fall any fucking lower,” Janus spoke again. What he was saying wasn’t helping, but Patton clung to it anyway, his brother's voice always being a comfort in times of extreme dysphoria and stress, and in this case confusion as well. “The bar was on the ground but they still managed to fucking dig underneath it.”

“Okay anyone gonna share with the class?” Roman’s voice now. 

“This girl?” Janus spoke and Patton flinched at the word.  _ Girl _ . He wasn’t a girl. That wasn’t him. He had separated that image from who he was so long ago, but that picture was him, his mind still connected that image to himself. And he was missing at some point. What did all of this mean? Patton’s mind couldn’t keep up with anything as Janus continued to speak. “That’s fucking  _ Patton _ , from before he transitioned. And before you say anything, I was fucking there, it’s definitely him.”

“Okay…” Virgil spoke again, still sounding almost as confused and lost as Patton felt. “Okay, so Logan, is that why you are freaking out or is there something else…” Virgil trailed off.

“That can’t be Patton,” Logan said. “Because  _ I _ knew her.”

No. No, what was Logan talking about? Patton met Logan a few weeks ago when all of this started, just like everyone else. He never knew Logan, even before he came out. Logan had to be wrong, he just had to be.

“Wait, that’s  _ that _ Morgan?” Virgil again. “Shit.”

Patton vaguely remembered Logan once mentioning having a childhood friend named Morgan. But it still didn’t make sense! Morgan wasn’t even his dead name! His dead name was freaking Hailey! Those names were nothing alike! But… but that was him on the flyer. Or, her. So why did it say the name was Morgan Sanders and not Hailey Faith? Why did the flyer even exist in the first place. PATTON WAS NEVER MISSING!

“Yeah that about sums up the situation,” Roman agreed as Patton noticed Remus moving out of the corner of his eye. God, they had all seen him. Now they’d always see Patton as a girl and they could never unsee it. Them knowing was one thing but them  _ seeing _ … What was going on? Patton needed to know why this was happening, and he needed to know now.

“It’s definitely him,” Janus confirmed, placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder. Patton almost brushed it off, feeling too dysphoric to want anyone touching him right now, but he didn’t. Because somehow, no matter how horribly he was feeling, the warmth of his brother's touch gave him some level of comfort, and anything was better than nothing right now. “Which means Patton has a fucking identical twin we don’t know about or they’re the same fucking person.”

“But Morgan was my friend until we were five years old,” Logan said weakly.

“Yeah and I remember visiting Patton when he was first fucking born,” Janus added. “There has to be something we’re not seeing here.”

Right. So Morgan wasn’t him. That wasn’t him. That was the answer. It had been so long since Patton had looked like that. They were just wrong, and this was a completely different person. That was what was happening. That had to be what was happening. 

“There is,” Remus finally spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper. Patton felt himself tense up. He needed answers, but he was suddenly scared of what he would find. “They… they altered your memories. Not much, but just enough for Patton and you to think you had been brothers your whole lives. They kidnapped him.”

But… but NO! No, because… because that meant Janus wasn’t his brother. And… and that meant he had real parents that he didn’t even know. And it meant that that picture really was him. And that he had known Logan and forgotten him! That meant… Oh God.

That meant that the only reason they accepted him was to hide him.

They didn’t love him and accept him.

He was all alone.

“Patton?” Roman spoke and Patton glanced up at him, his vision blurry with tears. He felt something in him snap and he grabbed the box of flyers and threw it across the room as hard as he could.

“Fuck this shit,” Patton muttered. “Just, fuck all of it.”

Patton felt his panic rising as he glanced around the room. This was the room where he would come when he had nightmares before him and Janus had grown as close. He would come here for comfort and love because the people who slept here had always seemed willing to give it. But it was all a lie. Because they never really loved or accepted him. They stole him from his family and threw him into this household of evil. The only good thing that came from it was Janus, the only person that had accepted him of his own will. But even Janus wasn’t his real brother. He didn’t have a family anymore.

“Patton,” Logan broke the silence. “What do you want us to do?”

Patton didn’t reply. He couldn’t. His hands began tugging at his shirt, trying to get him out. Out of this situation. Out of this room. Out of his head. Out of his own body that wasn’t even who he was. He needed OUT.

His breathing was accelerated far beyond a healthy rate at this point as his eyes continued bouncing around the room, occasionally landing on a discarded flyer or his image in the mirror which just made him feel worse. He needed help. He needed someone to help him get out. Remus stepped in front of the mirror, blocking Patton’s reflection from his view and Patton took in another desperate gasp of air, more tears overflowing as his eyes locked with Remus’s for just a moment, so grateful for even just that small thing but unable to voice it. Remus gave a small nod and Patton knew he understood, but then Patton’s gaze fell on a flyer again and he knew it getting out wouldn’t be that easy.

“Patton look at me,” Roman was sitting in front of him now. Patton raised his gaze to meet Roman’s, desperate for Roman to help him out of his head. “You’ve gotta breath, buddy. You’ve seen me count breaths with Virgil so you know what to do, right?” 

Patton had seen it. He wasn’t sure how much it would help him as it wasn’t what he normally did, but he was willing to try anything. He gave Roman a small nod of confirmation.

“Okay then try and breathe in for four seconds. One, two, three, four.” 

Patton struggled to breathe with Roman’s counting, taking in small gasps in the middle of what was supposed to be a long inhale, but he tried his best as Roman continued.

“Now hold it for seven seconds. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.”

Patton held his breath, once again interrupted by a few gasps but moderately successful as tears continued to stream down his face in an endless waterfall of sadness and fear.

“Last bit, breathe out for eight seconds. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.”

Patton finished following Roman’s instructions, but once Roman finished counting he just began gasping once more, unable to maintain the breathing pattern Roman had just talked him through. He needed more help. He needed Janus. Thankfully, his wish was fulfilled just a moment later, when his brother spoke.

“Shit, okay,” Janus said and Patton looked over at him desperately. “Come here, Marshmallow.” 

As Patton dove into his brother’s arms, he realized something. This was his brother. He didn’t give a crap about how it had happened, but it had. If Patton had learned anything from all of this it was that blood did not define a family. But with nothing to bind him to his brother anymore, he was so, so scared of loosing him. He needed Janus so much. And that was when Patton remembered Janus’s offer. He gasped, trying to find the air to voice his thoughts, but failed, giving up for the time being as he listened to his brother. His  _ brother. _

“Okay, we’ve done this before, right?” Janus reminded him. “Can you find my heartbeat?” Patton pressed his head against Janus’s chest and gave a small nod when he found the steady rhythm that kept his brother alive. “Good job. Now we’ve gotta breathe, so I need you to try and breathe with me okay? Can you do that?” 

Patton nodded again and followed along as his brother took slow, deep breaths. He did much better with this than counting, and it only took a few breaths before Patton found his voice, needing to hear this now, before he succumbed to how alone he truly felt. He needed to be sure he wasn’t alone, because he would always have Janus, He would always have his brother.

“JJ…” Patton said in a weak voice. “Will… will y-you please, please adopt m-me?”

“Absolutely, Patton,” Janus replied without hesitation and Patton let out a sigh or relief. He still had his brother. “If that’s what you want then I will fight tooth and fucking nail to get you away from them.”

“I want that,” Patton nodded. Suddenly, all of his feelings of being trapped in himself, being alone, being unwanted and unaccepted bubbled to the surface, the thoughts escaping in the form of tears as Patton began to sob uncontrollably, clinging to his brother for dear life. His brother was all he had left from his life before. The only family member he had left who accepted him with no underlying reasons, just because he cared. And Patton just couldn’t let go of that person, he needed him.

“Patton can I touch you?” Roman asked.

Patton hesitated for only a moment, before realizing that dysphoria be damned, he needed his friends right now. So he reached out to Roman, who immediately joined and wrapped his arms around Patton and Janus. Patton then glanced at Remus, who was still standing in front of the mirror and gestured for him to join as well. Remus came forward slowly and kneeled down, wrapping Patton into his warm embrace. A few moments later Logan and Virgil joined as well, Logan resting his chin on Janus’s shoulder while Virgil just leaned into the group, his good arm occupied as he held his boyfriend. 

“Fuck the past,” Janus spoke as Patton’s sobs finally began to quiet down. “I’m done, I’m done letting it control me. I’ve never listened to people telling me who I am, and I’m sure as hell not going to start now. So, so I’m starting over. My name is Janus. I have powers. I’m seventeen. And I have a family now that I would do anything for.”

Patton felt pride welling up inside of him as he heard his brother opening up, and trusting these people with something that meant so much to him, his name. Janus had only ever truly loved and opened up to one person, Patton. But now he was learning to care for and trust this whole group, and Patton couldn’t be prouder.

Along with pride, Patton came to a realization at Janus’s words. He wasn’t alone. Not just because he had Janus, but because he had all of these people. These people who loved and cared for him, and accepted him without question. These people didn’t have ulterior motives either, they just accepted him for who he was. Patton didn’t need his “parents”. Heck, he didn’t even need whoever his biological parents were.

He had his family right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, thanks for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed, and feel free to comment, we love reading them!!! See you Sunday!!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there kiddos, we're back!!!  
> My end here is a good amount longer than Salem's, sorry about that, but you get a lot of prinxiety content, so that's fun.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> pain, self deprecation, inability to walk on sand, falling, binder argument, extreme exhaustion   
> I think that's it, let me know if I missed anything!!!

A couple nights after they went to Janus and Patton's house it was a full moon, so they had to go get sand from the beach. Virgil really didn’t want to, he wanted to stay and help to comfort his friends, but that night was the full moon, so they didn't really have a choice. They decided Roman and Virgil would go, since Patton and Janus were in no shape to come along, and neither was Logan really, but Logan was also right when he had said someone needed to protect the two brothers, so Virgil let that be the reason. 

They discussed Remus joining, but Patton vetoed it out of fear of Roman killing his twin, which was not what anyone needed right now. Virgil had objected that he could stop them, but even without his injured shoulder he knew that was a lie. So it was just Roman and Virgil, which was probably good, considering Virgil had some things he needed to talk to the other boy about alone. First being that conversation they had started, but not finished, when Roman was helping Virgil with his shirt a few days ago.

Roman kept his promise and let Virgil drive, which Virgil appreciated for about the first 5 minutes before quickly regretting it as he tried to take a right turn with one arm, his nondominant arm in fact. Let’s just say it was a good thing there were no other cars driving on the road right now, or someone would likely be dead. 

“Shit!” Roman exclaimed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

Virgil pulled over, shaking slightly as he put the car back into park. “Uh, no? I’m sorry. I’ve got this, I really just wanna help, just gimme a sec.” Virgil experimentally turned the wheel back and forth with his one arm while the car was in park, trying to get a feel for how this was going to go. 

“Okay,” Roman said, sounding a little surprised. “Well, just to check, is it an emotional thing or is it your shoulder?”

“Emotional,” Virgil admitted, that guilty, useless feeling rising up in him again as he struggled to turn the wheel fully to the right. “Little bit of my shoulder too, though that damn thing hasn’t completely stopped hurting for days no matter how many drugs Patton finds me. But I’m okay, I promise I’ll tell you if I’m not.”

“Do you want me to do something? Or do you just need a second?”

“I just need a second.” Virgil sighed. He continued turning the wheel a few more times until he figured out a way he could turn it enough with one arm without causing himself too much pain. He nodded to himself and put the car back in drive, this time doing a much better job on the turn and successfully getting them onto the freeway. They drove in silence for a while, before finally, Virgil brought up the first subject he needed to talk to Roman about, knowing this one would be the hardest to get started.

“So…” Virgil said. “About that conversation we started the other day, the one I said we’d finish? How, um, how are you feeling about all that? Could we maybe talk about that again?”

“Do we have to?” Roman muttered and crossed his arms, looking out the window.

“At some point, yeah,” Virgil said. “And this seems like the best time we are gonna get for a while. And I can’t just let you sit around feeling horrible about this until the next time we get a chance to talk. You can’t bottle this up, Roman. Let me help. Please.”

“What happened happened,” Roman sighed. “We can’t go back and change it so there’s no point.”

“Yeah but your feelings are happening now,” Virgil pointed out. “And those are something we can work on together.”

“I…” Roman hesitated. “Look it just doesn’t matter, okay? Just...let it go, cariño.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Virgil sighed. “Look, if it was me would you just let me tell you to let it go?”

“No,” Roman admitted.

“Exactly,” Virgil said. “I know there is only so much I can do but just… let me try, please. I want to help, even though I know I’m the cause of this.”

“No you aren’t,” Roman protested quickly and turned back to Virgil. “I am.”

“How?” Virgil asked. “Cause I’m pretty sure I’m the one that trapped my protector in a dome then backed myself into a corner so that even the most powerful person in our group couldn’t keep me from getting fucking stabbed.”

“Yeah that was your fault,” Roman shrugged. “But I’m not upset with you or anything. I’m upset with me for...for bringing the whole group down.”

“But you haven’t done that,” Virgil quickly objected, confused by Roman’s statement. “You’ve been so helpful with the sword lessons, you’ve made us all laugh, especially me with all that flirty shit you like to pull, you’re amazing at cheering up Patton when he is having a bad day, I just… you do so much, what makes you think you’re bringing the group down?”

“A team is only as strong as its weakest link,” Roman mumbled before turning to look out the window again.

“What makes you think you’re the weakest link?” Virgil asked. Clearly Roman was not the weakest link. If anyone was, it was Virgil, the idiot who was the only person that could actually end this shit yet kept managing to get himself nearly killed. He wasn’t going to say that though, because then Roman would just change the subject, asking about Virgil, and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Are you joking?” Roman laughed bitterly. “You’re the one who’s going to end this shit, Patton’s the medic and basically our leader at this point, I don’t even have to bring up Logan, and Janus is a fucking human lie detector. Even Remus knows Fove inside and out. My one thing was that I could fight so I could protect you guys and apparently I can’t even do that.”

“Okay, well, don’t forget all our idiotic mistakes,” Virgil replied. He wanted to object that Roman not being there wasn’t his fault or a mistake, but he knew that would get him nowhere, so he decided to try this instead. “Logan got too emotional and threw me into a wall, Patton can’t fight for shit, I got us busted with the cult  _ and _ keep nearly getting myself killed, which would leave you guys stuck with this curse forever, Remus is impulsive as shit and apparently a liar, and Janus… well, he’s just a fucking anomaly. We’ve all screwed up, I think we are all even. And even if you are the weakest link, then that gives us a pretty fucking strong team in my opinion.”

“If I could do my job,” Roman scoffed. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before facing Virgil with pleading eyes. “Look Virgil, I...I get what you’re saying. And I swear I’m not trying to be difficult. This isn’t something that you can just...fix. Not with one conversation. But uh...thank you, love. Like I said you can’t fix this but...you can help. And you do help. So thank you. I guess for, for loving me.”

“You don’t ever have to thank me for that,” Virgil gave Roman a small smile. “And I know this can’t just be fixed, but I will keep loving you and telling you how great you are until you believe me, no matter how many times it takes. Cause it’s true. You’re amazing, and strong, way stronger than me, and I love you so, so much. And I am always here to talk when you need it, okay?”

“Okay,” Roman muttered. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Virgil said again, then he nudged Roman playfully with his elbow, causing the car to swerve. “Shit, I’m trying to be playful and make you smile, why is this so fucking difficult!?”

Then he heard it. It was small at first but Virgil would know that sound anywhere. Roman was laughing. Virgil grinned as he glanced over at his boyfriend happily. He knew he hadn’t fixed the problem, hell, he knew he couldn’t, but he had helped, and for now, that would have to be good enough.

“It’s alright,” Roman promised, trying to tame his laughter.

“Yeah, it is, cause I’m gonna find other ways to make you laugh!” Virgil declared before sticking his tongue out at the road, not risking turning to Roman with his driving already hindered. Roman didn’t say anything but he was rewarded with a small chuckle.

“I actually did have a couple other things to talk to you about…” Virgil started. He glanced at the GPS. They were about 15 minutes away. “We don’t have to now if you don’t wanna, one of them is kinda about both of us and one of them is about me. It’s up to you.”

“Really?” Roman quirked an eyebrow in a way eerily similar to Logan. Geez how did the queerplatonic thing take so long? “What do you mean?”

“I just… I want to talk to you about a couple things, but I just made you talk so if you don’t wanna talk about important shit anymore that’s okay, I’m leaving it up to you.” Virgil said. He really did want to have these conversations at some point soon, but he didn’t want to push Roman too far for one night.

“I mean...maybe not the one about me too?” Roman asked quietly.

“Okay,” Virgil nodded. Shit, he was totally pushing too much. God damn it. “I mean, we don’t have to talk about either if you don’t wanna. It’s nothing urgent, it can wait.”

“No I’m happy to talk about you!” Roman insisted. “I just don’t want to talk about me.”

“If you’re sure…” Virgil said hesitantly.

“I am,” Roman promised.

“Okay,” Virgil took a deep breath, not really knowing where to start. “It’s… it’s kinda about my parents? It’s just that I don’t really know if I can trust them after they lied to be for so long and… I mean the others are fucking dead but even if they were alive they… they took  _ 12 years _ of my memory Roman. I just… I dunno if I can go back after all that, y’know?”

“My parents forced my twin to lie to me for two years and join a demon-worshipping murder cult,” Roman reminded him. “If anyone gets it, it’s me. But, I mean,...what else would you do?”

“Well, I’m not 18 so I can’t exactly leave,” Virgil started. “But, um, Janus made me an offer that I… well I’m kinda considering it? I dunno how you’d feel about it though…”

God, Virgil was so shit at this. Why couldn’t he just say it? Well, he knew why, it was because it just made it that much more real. The idea that he would get away from his lying, memory stealing family and have Janus be his guardian? It just didn’t feel real, Virgil didn’t feel like it was true. Why would Janus want him? He shouldn’t even be talking about this, this was just false hope, obviously Janus would change his mind but… but what if he didn’t? And that was the what if that was driving Virgil into this conversation, no matter how absurd it seemed. 

“Well it isn’t my decision,” Roman said patiently. “So it doesn’t really matter, but if you want my opinion I will happily give it to you. What was the offer?”

“I do… um, want your opinion,” Virgil nodded, knowing how obvious it was that he was stalling. He knew he just had to say it, God, why was this so hard, it shouldn’t be this hard. Except it was because Virgil wanted this. He wanted it so, so badly and he was scared of what Roman would say and he was scared of Janus changing his mind and… well, he was scared.

Virgil took a deep breath before forcing himself to speak again. “So, he might change his mind and nothing is decided but um… well… Janus kinda… he offered…” God Virgil, just fucking say it! “He offered to become my legal guardian.”

There, he had said it. It was out there, that wish, that thing he was considering because he wanted it too much. He kept his eyes firmly on the road, his attention focused on the growing pain in his shoulder, too scared to look at Roman’s reaction, using the pain to distract him from his panic as he waited for Roman to reply.

“About time he made it official.”

“W-What?” Virgil stuttered, unable to hide his surprise at Roman’s reaction. He didn’t seem shocked, or upset, he seemed, unsurprised. Like he’d been expecting it or something.

“Come on sweetheart really?” Roman laughed good-naturedly. “Paperwork is the only thing that has stopped that boy from full on adopting you.”

“But you’d…” Virgil hesitated, knowing the answer would be yes but worrying anyways. “You’d be okay with that?”

“Why would I not be?” Roman asked, still being almost frustratingly patient. “It doesn’t affect me. All I want is for you to do what makes you happy.”

“But it does affect you!” Virgil objected uselessly.

“How?”

“Because someday he’ll be like, your legal guardian in law and stuff and-”

Shit, did he really just say that. He really just fucking said that. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. Oh God what was wrong with him they were teenagers they had only been dating for a year why the hell would he say something like that!?

“That would be a lot to deal with,” Roman agreed. “Janus can be a lot. It also might be kind of weird since I’m older than him but other than that, it’ll be fine.”

“I, uh,” Virgil tried to find his voice, talk as if his previous comment had not been said, but failed miserably. “So, uh… I…” Roman hadn’t even objected. So, Roman wanted them to get married? Or was he just playing along? God, why was Virgil such a gay fucking disaster all the fucking time!? He decided to just keep his mouth shut, not trusting himself to speak.

“You okay?” Roman asked. “Was it something I-...shit.”

Virgil continued staring at the road as the beach came into sight, his face growing warm as he forced himself to keep his mouth shut because damn it he was not going to propose to Roman at 16 years old, and honestly, he wasn’t sure he trusted himself not to if he spoke.

“So uh yeah,” Roman cleared his throat. “I think you should do it, but it’s completely up to you. I’ll support you no matter what.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks,” Virgil said, still trying to compose himself after the whole marriage thing was accidentally brought up. He pulled up at the beach and parked the car so badly it went into three spaces, but it wasn’t like anyone was there to yell at him, so he didn’t bother to try and fix it. Virgil quickly got out of the car and yelped as the sudden movement sent a shock of pain through his shoulder. After sitting in the car for an hour, he had almost forgotten how much walking hurt, which wouldn’t seem possible since it was his shoulder, but every fucking step sent a jolt of pain through him anyway and he fucking hated it.

He made his way to the back to grab his bag, which had a container in it for the sand and fought to ignore the pain as he forced himself to walk toward the beach. Virgil walked slowly toward the sand as he dragged his bag that seemed to grow heavier every day. Whether it be spells, ingredients, talismans, it all went into his bag, considering he was the spell caster. It wasn’t exactly great for him though, being the injured person with a bag full of fucking rocks and shit, but he wasn’t gonna complain.

He got to the sand and was not expecting the way it slipped under his feet, causing him to stumble and fall like a fucking idiot. Thankfully, he fell on his uninjured shoulder, but he still couldn't help the yell of shock and pain as he slipped into the sand. He laid there for a moment as he waited for the pain to fade back to the deep ache it stayed at when he was on medications. 

“Oh shit Virgil are you okay?” Roman cursed, kneeling next to Virgil in the sand with his face full of concern. Of course he had no issues with the sand! Stupid Californians.

“‘M fine,” Virgil mumbled, embarrassed. “Never walked in fucking sand. Damn stuff is not easy to walk on!” Virgil still didn’t move as his shoulder still hurt more than he wanted it to, and he could hear the strain in his own voice but chose to ignore it. 

“Here, give me your bag,” Roman ordered. Virgil rolled his eyes and still didn’t sit up but he did let go of his bag, which was still grasped tightly in his right hand, so Roman could take it. Roman took the bag gently from Virgil’s hand.

“Do you need help?” Roman asked.

“No, I’ve got it,” Virgil grunted as he tried to move and quickly laid back down. “Shit, just gonna need a sec. Can you make sure I didn’t reopen the damn thing again? Janus would kill me, and even worse, Patton would give me  _ another _ dad lecture, so I really fucking hope it’s okay.”

Roman nodded and unbuttoned the first few buttons of Virgil’s shirt so he could pull it to the side and check the bandage. “No blood, I think you’re good.”

“Oh, thank God,” Virgil sighed. He tried and failed once again to sit up, the pain in his shoulder spiking and the sand sliding out from under him as he tried to push himself up with his good arm. Finally, he turned to Roman for help. “Okay, so apparently I do need help. Also, I’ve decided I _ despise _ sand.”

“I’ve got you, Anakin,” Roman chuckled. He slid his arm around Virgil’s waist and carefully helped him to his feet. Virgil struggled for a moment to regain his footing in this God forsaken sand and wrapped his good arm around Roman in a desperate attempt to find his balance. He must look like such an idiot, he couldn’t even walk in sand! Roman was trying very hard not to laugh but he kept snickering.

“Shut up Princey.” Virgil muttered as he finally found his footing and let out a relieved sigh as he was able to stop jostling his shoulder. 

“I didn’t say anything,” Roman smirked. 

“Yeah, sure,” Virgil replied. “Let’s just go get this damn sand and get off this horrible beach.”

“Is there any ritual stuff we have to do?” 

“Nope, just gotta get it at midnight on a full moon.” Virgil said. He was not going to admit how relieved he was that he would not have to cast a spell circle or anything. He just didn’t feel up for that yet, no matter how much he fought back against Patton. He knew he would feel a lot better about it once he had the amber amulet, but right now he was still a bit on edge about it.

“Well we still have a while,” Roman hummed, still not pulling away from Virgil, which he appreciated because there was a good chance that if Roman let go of him he would fall again, and he didn’t think he could take that pain or embarrassment. “Why don’t we walk for a bit?”

“You gonna give me a crash course on how to walk in sand?” Virgil asked teasingly. He would love to walk with Roman and just enjoy being with him, but he wasn’t sure walking on the beach right now was the best idea. If it weren’t for his shoulder he wouldn’t care as much, but he really didn’t want to risk falling again and reopening it. Mom and Dad lectures are the fucking worst.

“Even you can walk in the sand by the water,” Roman retorted. “It’s harder, but we’d probably have to take our shoes off unless you want salt water in your socks.”

“Challenge accepted!” Virgil joked with a smile. “Let’s do it.”

“Then come on,” Roman said. He helped Virgil sit down again and took off his own shoes and socks. He was apparently oblivious to it but Roman was beaming like the sun the entire time. Virgil’s smile grew seeing how happy Roman seemed as he leaned over and struggled to get his shoes off with one hand. When Roman was done with his, Virgil had just gotten his first shoe off. 

“You need help?” Roman asked innocently.

“Um, no.” Virgil scoffed playfully, but he stuck his foot that still had the shoe on it out at Roman while he worked to pull off his sock.

“Mhmm,” Roman hummed and easily untied Virgil’s shoe and pulled it off. He’d taken off both his shoe and sock by the time Virgil pulled off his other sock. Virgil just shoved his sock into his shoe before handing it to Roman, who was smirking.

“I could have done it myself,” Virgil muttered. He knew he could have, though it may have taken a while. But he did appreciate Roman’s help, and he knew Roman knew it.

“Mhmm,” Roman said again. “Sure, honey.”

“Shut up,” Virgil mumbled half-heartedly.

“Yes, dear,” Roman teased. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed as he glanced down at the uneven sand he was sitting on. “Could we just teleport to the harder sand? I feel like with all this magic there has gotta be a way to do that.”

“Probably but I don’t know what makes you think I know it,” Roman shrugged. “It’s just sand Virgil, I believe in you.”

“I don’t,” Virgil joked. “But seriously, help me up please.”

Roman slid his arm around Virgil’s waist and it felt just so natural. He single-handedly pulled them both to their feet and guided Virgil towards the water. Virgil stumbled multiple times but Roman didn’t let him fall and also did a surprisingly good job of helping keep Virgil’s shoulder steady. Roman was laughing again and this time he wasn’t even trying to hide it. Finally they reached the hard, wet sand and Virgil was able to regain his footing and keep his balance without Roman’s help. He pulled Roman’s arm off his waist and instead held his hand. Roman began to lightly swing their hands back and forth between them with a small smile. Virgil smiled back at him as he tried to step lightly to avoid hurting his shoulder more, and Roman slowed to meet his pace.

“Sorry if I weirded you out earlier,” Roman apologized, eyes fixed on their hands. “I kinda have a habit of not thinking before I speak, as you very well know.”

“It’s okay,” Virgil said, his face growing warm. He was kind of the one to bring it up as a hypothetical, but Roman… he made it sound like a plan. Was it a plan? He wasn’t sure what he thought about that. He knew he couldn’t imagine his life without Roman in it, so marriage didn’t exactly sound like a bad idea. But had Roman actually meant it like that? Virgil decided it probably wouldn’t hurt to ask at this point. “Did you… um, did you mean it?”

“Yeah,” Roman said quietly, looking up at Virgil again. “Yeah, I did. Is that okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so,” Virgil said after a moment of hesitation. “I mean, you know I’ve never been a big marriage person, but I mean, I can’t really imagine a future without you in it, so… yeah, I think that’s okay.”

“Oh thank God,” Roman sighed, but he was grinning again. “I love you, by the way.”

“I love you too.” Virgil smiled up at Roman. This was a person he was going to spend the rest of his life with, he just knew it. 

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” Roman asked suddenly. “You said something about us.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, surprised. He kinda figured they weren’t going to end up talking about that today. “No, um, no it wasn’t. The other thing doesn’t have anything to do with our relationship. It’s actually about Remus. But we don’t have to talk about that now if you don’t want to.”

Roman’s grip on his hand immediately tightened but not as much as Virgil was expecting. “What about him?”

Virgil sighed. He really didn’t want to ruin the mood, but he also knew he couldn’t put off this conversation forever. Might as well start it now since Roman was asking. “Um, about what he did I guess? And about how we feel about it. Cause he’s your twin and he did it to protect you and… and I don’t want you to feel like you have to be mad at him for me because… I don't know. I’m just conflicted I guess.”

“I’m mad because he hurt you and he lied and kept secrets after he-” Roman paused. “He  _ promised  _ me there wouldn’t be any more secrets and just as I was starting to believe him and trust him again, when I was thinking of him as my brother again instead of an ally I found out he was lying to both my boyfriend and my partner.”

“Yeah I know,” Virgil sighed. “And again I don’t think he meant to hurt anyone it’s just… it probably wasn’t an easy thing to tell us. Because he cares so much about Logan and about you.” Virgil wasn’t sure why he was defending Remus. He was just so confused about how he felt right now and words just kept coming. “I’m mad too but.... I mean, I’m doing okay right now without my biological parents, but without  _ you _ , I don’t know where I’d be Roman, but it wouldn’t be good.”

“Remus said it was because they were disloyal,” Roman remembered. “So I guess even if it wasn’t Remus, if he’d refused then...then it would’ve been someone else. And then I…” Roman trailed off with wide eyes. Virgil swallowed hard at the thought.

“I think…” Virgil started. He took a deep breath. “I think I understand what he did Roman. I… I just… I don’t know. I’m so conflicted here Roman. I’ll never get to really meet them, but I probably wouldn’t have anyways. But I do get to have you. And I love you so much and it feels wrong to be upset but also grateful,” Virgil’s eyes widened at the thought. “God, am I grateful he killed my parents? What the hell is wrong with me!”

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” Roman shook his head. “You’re grateful that he protected me, but you’re pissed he killed your parents. There’s two sides to this coin, and you can feel differently about each side. It’s kind of like uh...Snape. Like he did all that shit because he loved Lily, but he still did the shit, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Virgil looked up at the sky and groaned. “Uhg, why are emotions so complicated!?”

“Mood,” Roman nodded solemnly. “Like he hurt the people I love and he lied and broke his promise but...does that erase sixteen years where we had nothing but each other? I miss him but I don’t want him to hurt me again. He hurt the people I care about but as much as I hate to admit it right now, he’s one of them too.”

“He’s still your brother, he always will be,” Virgil agreed. “And I think… I think it would be good if maybe we try to… I dunno, forgive him? I don’t know if I’m there yet but… but I think if you want to try, then I want to try too. I’m still gonna be mad at him but maybe… maybe that can fade with time.”

“I think I want to try,” Roman said. He took a deep breath and held onto Virgil’s hand like an anchor. “I love you guys but now that he’s here, I don’t think I can do this without him.”

“Then we’ll try.” Virgil nodded. He could do that, and he thought he wanted to, though he wasn’t sure. But if Roman wanted to then he definitely would try. Remus… he did what he thought was best in the situation. And though Virgil was mad, he couldn’t fault him for his decision.

“Plus, we’re making your amulet so that would get really awkward otherwise,” Roman commented.

“Yeah,” Virgil chuckled, the thought of the amulet bringing tears to Virgil’s eyes again. He would never have to hear that demon’s voice again, he just couldn’t believe it. “I’m kinda banking on that working.”

“I’ll make sure it does,” Roman promised. Virgil looked up at him and smiled. “Oh shit we should probably check the time.”

“Shit, yeah!” Virgil replied, immediately beginning to panic. What if they had missed it, then they would have to wait a full other month just to get this stupid sand. Shit, why weren’t they paying closer attention! Roman pulled his phone out of his back pocket and turned on the screen, breathing a sigh of relief.

“11:58,” Roman told him.

“Oh thank God,” Virgil sighed. “We should probably get the container out though to be ready.”

Roman let go of Virgil’s hand so he could unzip the bag and rifle through it. He held up a piece of tupperware. “This one?”

“Yep.” Virgil nodded, taking the container from Roman. “What time is it now?”

“Midnight, go.”

Virgil kneeled down with some difficulty and used the container to scoop up the sand, not having another hand to grab it with. He got a fairly good scoop before setting it down and grabbing some sand with his good hand to top it off. He could tell this sand had stronger energies than it would normally have. He went to stand up then realized there was no way that was happening with his one arm occupied, so he handed the container now full of sand to Roman before pushing himself up off of the sand.

“Got it,” Virgil said as he struggled to his feet. “That should be enough.”

“Then let’s get back to the others.” Roman held out his hand for Virgil to take again. “And also get our shoes.” 

Virgil smiled and took his hand as they began walking back to the car together. Virgil allowed his mind to wander as they walked in a peaceful silence. He thought about his future, after all of this was over. Roman and Virgil had both just basically agreed that someday they would probably get married, but there were so many things before that. One of those things being Virgil needing to figure out who was going to walk him down the aisle.

He had never envisioned having a big wedding, though he knew Roman would probably want one. So they’d probably compromise with somewhere in between. Virgil could easily see Remus walking Roman down the aisle, as he hoped by that point they would be back to being those wonderful twins that Virgil had always envied for their amazing relationship. When it came his turn to walk, he filtered through a couple people, letting his imagination take him. He thought of his birth father, his adoptive father, but neither of those felt right. And each time he imagined it, he kept going back to Janus.

He wanted to be part of Janus and Patton’s family, and right then and there, as he walked and tried to envision the future, he knew. He couldn’t go back to his adoptive parents after this, and Janus and Patton had been like his parents this entire time, and it made Virgil feel safe, and loved. He even found himself thinking of them as his parents, worrying about getting mom and dad lectures when he fell in the sand. And Virgil wanted to keep worrying about those lectures from Janus and Patton. He wanted to keep having that fond annoyance when Janus or Patton told him off for doing something he shouldn’t be doing. He wanted to keep feeling loved when Janus held him and calmed him down. He wanted to keep feeling that warmth of happiness when him and Patton talked. He wanted that forever, because they were his family now.

In that moment, walking on the beach as they approached the car, hand in hand with Roman, Virgil knew. He wanted Janus to adopt him once this was all over. He wanted to share a room with Patton in some trashy apartment even though he would likely never get quite enough time to recharge his social battery. He wanted to hear Patton yell at him for his language when he cursed after doing something stupid, like dropping his phone. If Janus and Patton would still have him, he wanted to legally be a part of their family, forever.

Roman wrapped his arm back around Virgil’s waist, bringing Virgil out of his thoughts as they began walking over less firm sand and Virgil’s feet just kept slipping out from under him. Finally, they got to the place they had taken off their shoes. Roman put his shoes back on before helping Virgil with his, which Virgil hadn’t even attempted to put on on his own. Getting tennis shoes off with one hand was one thing, but getting them on, and tying them? Yeah, no way. Once they both had their shoes on Roman helped Virgil up again and they went back to the car. Roman went to drive, and Virgil didn’t stop him, the ache in his shoulder beginning to become more and more distracting as the hours went by. They drove in silence for a moment, before Roman spoke up.

“What’s going through that pretty little head of yours?” Roman asked.

Virgil’s cheeks turned pink when Roman called him pretty and he quickly turned his head to look out the window to Roman couldn’t see. “Just thinking about the future I guess. Y’know, after all this is over.”

“I should probably figure that out,” Roman hummed. “I mean I’m gonna graduate but after that I have no plans.”

“Oh shit,” Virgil said, eyes widening at the realization. “Shit, I’m gonna have to go back to high school after all this!”

“Oh you poor child,” Roman cooed. “You got us now though, so at least you’re not alone! It’s only been two months but after all this, I don’t think we could get rid of each other if we tried.”

“Yeah, especially cause I’ll probably be living with Patton and Janus,” Virgil smiled at the thought. “Hey, I’ll finally have a friend in high school!”

“Okay pause,” Roman declared with a huge-ass grin. “You decided then?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I think so,” Virgil said, beginning to fidget with the fabric on his sling anxiously. With his hoodie unavailable, this was the next best thing. “I just… I just couldn’t imagine…” Virgil trailed off. He was absolutely not about to admit that he came to that conclusion imagining their future wedding. “Yeah, I decided.”

“I’m so freaking proud of you!” Roman exclaimed. Virgil smiled at his excitement, but was slightly confused as to why Roman was ‘proud’ of him. It wasn’t like he had done anything crazy, he had just made a decision.

“Why?” Virgil asked before he could stop himself.

“You went for what makes  _ you  _ happy,” Roman answered. “You like never do that. You chose for you, not your parents or me or anything. Plus it was the scarier choice, ‘cause it’s a big change, but you still did it anyway. So, I’m proud of you.”

Huh. Virgil hadn’t really thought about it like that. He had just done what felt right. He couldn’t remember the last time he had willingly let himself do that. 

“Yeah I guess you’re right,” Virgil smiled. “But I do think this is gonna make me really happy, and you seem okay with it, and honestly I don’t give a shit what my parents think right now. So yeah, I’m gonna do it. If Janus and Patton still want me of course.”

“You are so lucky I’m driving or I’d be kissing the living daylights out of you right now,” Roman said.

“You’ll just have to do that when we get back,” Virgil teased.

“How’d you finally decide?” Roman wondered.

“Oh, um…” Virgil started. “Well, I was just kinda thinking and um… yeah.” Wow, great job Virgil. You could have at least made something up but noooo, you had to stutter and Roman was definitely going to ask again now. Uhg, why was he such a disaster gay all the fucking time!?

“Uh oh I know that stutter,” Roman smirked. “That’s the embarrassed stutter? Come on, tell me?”

Virgil’s face turned bright red as he turned to stare out the window. “I was thinking about who would walk me down the aisle at our wedding.” Virgil mumbled so quietly he wasn’t sure Roman heard.

“What was that, love?” Roman asked teasingly.

Virgil groaned and let his head fall against the window, the rattling going through his body and hurting his shoulder but he didn’t care. “Nothing.” Virgil said, unable to bring himself to say it out loud again. It was so sappy and dumb and, uhg!

“Damn, I really wanted you to say it again,” Roman sighed.

“Oh my God you heard!?” Virgil groaned and closed his eyes. “Oh my God, I hate you.”

“See the whole marriage thing has me convinced otherwise. Also get your head off the window. God, you’re as bad as Logan.”

“What’s so bad about having your head against the window?” Virgil objected. “It’s comfortable!” Virgil’s previous statement was weakened when the car went over a bump and his head slammed into the window, causing a jolt of pain in his shoulder and he yelped.

“Do it or no snuggles until tomorrow,” Roman threatened.

“But tomorrow is technically like 24 hours away!” Virgil protested. “You can’t resist snuggling me for that long!”

“I’ll snuggle Logan or Patton,” Roman said. “Don’t test me.”

“Uhg fine!” Virgil gave in quickly, taking his head off the window and instead laying it back against the seat. “Happy?”

“Yes,” Roman replied. “Wouldn’t want you to bruise that pretty face.”

“God shut up!” Virgil whined. He was already flustered from all the marriage talk and now this! Would he ever get a break?

“I’m just building up your tolerance, sweet pea,” Roman said innocently. 

“And how does that seem to be going?” Virgil asked, his voice much higher than it should have been.

“Not well,” Roman admitted. “But on the other hand you’ve flirted a few times. The training is going well, the endurance is not.”

“That’s fair,” Virgil sighed, looking up at the roof of the car. “Oh, hey, I had this idea that I was wondering if you could help me with when we get back?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I wanted to draw a picture for Patton and Janus when I tell them what I decided. I can’t exactly draw right now, but Logan taught me a spell that kinda lets me have telekinesis for really small objects inside a spell circle. It’s really hard and exhausting though, so I’d probably just do an outline, but could you stay with me while I do it, in case I get too tired or something? It won't take too long, I promise.”

Virgil felt kinda dumb asking Roman to do that, but he knew if he did this there was no way he’d be able to get back to the room they were staying in, he’d probably pass out on his way up and that would not be good on his shoulder. And he really wanted to do this. He had never given people any of his real art, but he did outlines sometimes and people seemed to like those, so he could do that for Janus and Patton. Especially after what had happened, maybe a picture would cheer them up.

“Or we could do it now?” Roman suggested. “That way you could take a little nap on the way back.”

“We could do that,” Virgil nodded. “We should probably let the others know we will take a bit longer though. I don’t want to worry them.”

“Well I’m driving so…”

“Good point,” Virgil chuckled as he struggled to get his phone out of his pocket without hurting his shoulder. After some shuffling and Virgil hissing at the seat a couple times when he bumped his shoulder, he managed to retrieve his phone and sent a quick message to the server.

Storm_Cloud: we got the sand, but we are gonna make a stop on the way back so it may be a bit longer no need to worry

PattyCake23: Okay, stay safe kiddos!!!!

Virgil was a little surprised Patton had replied so quickly, he had kind of been hoping the younger boy had fallen asleep. He sighed as he went to put his phone back in his pocket, then thought better of it and just set it in the cupholder.

“Okay, we can stop wherever,” Virgil said. “Although we will need a place where we can find shit to represent the elements. We can use your sword for air, we can probably find a rock and stick pretty easily, then we will just need something for water.”

“Well, I uh,” Roman dug something out of his pocket and threw it to Virgil. It was a small conch shell with speckles of black, brown, and purple. “I was gonna give that to you at some point.”

“It’s beautiful,” Virgil said, looking closer at the shell. “When’d you pick this up? I didn’t even notice.”

“When you were getting the sand,” Roman answered.

“Well, I love it,” Virgil smiled. “And it will definitely work for water.”

“Good,” Roman nodded, the faintest pink tinge to his cheeks.

“Aww, you’re blushing,” Virgil cooed. “So cute!”

“Pulling over now!” Roman announced.

Virgil chuckled but didn’t say anything else as Roman pulled over, instead getting out his backpack and unzipping it with his teeth. He was honestly getting a bit too good at that. He pulled out his sketchbook and a black brush tip pen, knowing he would not be able to do a pencil sketch first if he had any hope of getting a decent picture before running out of energy. Roman parked the car and climbed out of the driver’s seat, rounding the car and opening Virgil’s door for him too.

Virgil rolled his eyes as he got out of the car, looking around. They were just pulled over on the side of the freeway, which wasn’t super great for getting the energies, but he could make it work. He set down his sketchbook on the road then went back to the car, bringing the elemental items one at a time because he only had one functioning arm, which was really starting to drive him insane. Roman had his sword and the stick Virgil used and he set them down. Virgil knew he was an idiot for not knowing this, but he kinda had to ask anyways.

“Um,” Virgil started, rocking on his feet in embarrassment. “I know this is a stupid question, but which way is north?”

“That way,” Roman sighed, pointing at the place across from the stick. Virgil was pleasantly surprised to notice Roman had put the stick and the sword in the correct positions, and he smiled as he set down the rock and the shell. 

“In or out?” Virgil asked, motioning to where the circle would be. “You would be able to get in and out once I cast it, but that would mess shit up, so wherever you choose, you stay there until I’m done. It’s up to you though.”

“I’ll just hang out here unless you pass out,” Roman shrugged. “I don’t want to get in your way or something.”

“You wouldn’t,” Virgil assured him. “But if you wanna stay out there that’s fine. It won’t take too long.”

Virgil then turned to the stick in the south and began his incantations. He had never done this in front of Roman before and it felt a little weird, but he didn’t think about that. He cast it fairly quickly, though it was admittedly slightly more draining than normal with his injury. Once the circle was cast, Virgil glanced at Roman to see his reaction to the purple light and magic surrounding Virgil. He saw him with wonder-filled eyes and a little smile on his face as he stared at Virgil. Virgil glanced at the ground self consciously, seeing his sketchbook and pen and remembering the task at hand. He sat down to get to work.

Virgil picked up his marker and pulled off the cap with his teeth, cringing internally as he put his nice art supplies in his mouth. He placed the cap on the ground and leaned awkwardly to steady it with his fingers on his left hand, getting in a very uncomfortable position to do so because of his sling. He then positioned the marker in his right hand to draw the sigil and bit his lip in concentration. He began to draw the small symbol on the cap and immediately slipped, cursing as he rubbed off the smudge and tried again. He sighed and tried again, getting about halfway done before messing it up this time. He threw his head back and groaned in irritation, then tried for a third time. Apparently, third time’s the charm isn't complete bullshit, cause Virgil actually got it right this time, as he stuck the cap on the back of his pen and began to make it draw.

It wasn’t easy and took a lot of focus and concentration. He had only drawn the first few lines when he found himself leaning heavily on his right arm to hold himself up, but he kept going, just drawing a simple outline of three silhouettes. The middle silhouette was Janus, and he had his arms around Patton and Virgil who were on either side of him. He had wanted to draw a house in the background or something, but at that point he was barely holding himself up and his shoulder was throbbing. He loved drawing, he always had. He found it calming and relaxing, but this was not that feeling. This was just plain difficult and exhausting.

Virgil added one final touch before letting the pen drop to the ground and letting himself collapse and lay down as well, taking a moment to find the energy to get up and open the spell circle.

“Virgil!” Roman called out. “Are you okay?”

Virgil raised his good arm and gave a thumbs up, before taking a deep breath and pushing himself off the ground, wincing at the pain the movement caused in his now much more sensitive shoulder. He got to his feet very unsteadily and found himself having to place a hand on the barrier the spell circle created to steady himself. 

“Well that’s not reassuring,” Roman muttered. “Can I come in or do you want to drop the circle first?”

“Drop… circle…” Virgil mumbled, before giving his head a quick shake. Damn it there was no way he’d be able to do that on his own in this state. He was so glad he did this, he knew the picture would make Patton and Janus happy but damn it he was out of energy. “Shit, no, come in.”

Roman instantly entered the circle which made the barrier flash purple. Virgil had never had someone enter or exit a spell circle he was holding before, and he felt the energy shift suddenly and his stomach dropped as he stumbled in shock. He stumbled straight into Roman who wrapped his arms around him before he fell. 

“I got you, sweetheart,” Roman muttered, echoing his words from earlier just without the teasing tone. “Now, let’s turn this thing off so you can go to sleep, okay?”

Virgil nodded as he got his feet back under him. He leaned heavily on Roman as he forced himself to say the incantations releasing each of the elements. The moment the circle was down he fell completely into Roman once more, a small smile on his face.

“You think they’ll like the picture?” Virgil asked in a tired voice.

“I think Patton’s gonna spontaneously combust,” Roman answered. “I'll take you to the car then I’ll come back and get your stuff.”

Virgil nodded and Roman swept him off his feet and into his arms. Virgil chuckled as he tried to keep his eyes open, not wanting to fall asleep just yet.

“Did you think it was cool?” Virgil asked as Roman carried him to the car.

“It was pretty badass,” Roman chuckled. He reached out and opened the passenger door with his foot. “I am getting way too good at that.”

“Yeah I should probably stop passing out in your arms,” Virgil yawned but smiled up at Roman. “I’m glad you thought it was cool.”

Roman kissed his forehead and fastened his seatbelt for him before he went back out to the deactivated spell circle. After a minute Virgil’s sketchbook was placed in his lap and Roman got into the driver’s seat again, tossing Virgil’s bag into the backseat as he did so.

“Now, sleep,” Roman ordered. “Do you want me to wake you up when we get there or just carry you in?”

“Wake me up,” Virgil mumbled as his eyes fell shut. “Wanna give picture.”

He heard Roman say something in response but couldn’t make out the words as he was already falling to sleep, his body forcefully pulling him into the darkness to recover from the spell and his injury. It felt like he had only been asleep for moments when he felt Roman gently shaking him awake once more.

“We’re here,” Roman told him gently.

Virgil groaned as he opened his eyes, still feeling nearly as exhausted as he had before, though at least he thought he could walk now. He glanced at Roman and hissed before sitting up and grabbing his sketchbook sleepily.

“Come on,” Roman laughed. “You wanted to give them the picture right?”

“Yeah,” Virgil nodded. “But then I’m going back to sleep. I literally feel like I got no rest. Patton may have had a point about not doing spell casting right now, don’t tell him I said that.”

“Oh my God the medic knew what he was talking about?!” Roman gasped sarcastically. “I can’t believe it! And something health related too!”

“Shut up!” Virgil groaned, stumbling out of the car with his sketchbook in hand. He hissed in pain when he bumped the car door with his shoulder as he attempted to not fall. He did manage to catch his balance though. Roman got his bag from the back and wrapped his arm around Virgil’s waist without a word.

“I could have walked in on my own.” Virgil grumbled weakly.

“Yeah if you wanted to look like an idiot,” Roman countered.

“That’s fair,” Virgil mumbled as he rested his head on Roman’s shoulder while they walked. “The drawing was worth it though. They’re gonna like it I think.”

“I do too,” Roman smiled as he opened the door.

They walked in to quite the scene. Patton was curled in a ball on the couch wearing Remus’s shirt. Remus was digging through everyone’s bags looking for something. Logan looked like he was about to throw something and was just so, so tired as he sat next to Patton on the couch. Janus was pacing in front of Patton which was a sight. Logan he could see pacing, but he’d never seen Janus pace. 

“-not dropping this,” Janus sighed. “Patton  _ please _ . I don’t know what else I can say!”

“What is going on in here?” Roman asked the group at large. They all looked up at once as if they hadn’t even seen the two of them enter.

“My brother is a stubborn fucking dumbass who won’t take his goddamn binder off,” Janus explained. “I am  _ this  _ close to getting a pair of scissors, I swear to God.”

“I’m trying to find something he’ll wear without it!” Remus groaned, throwing down Logan’s bag which he had been digging through. “Nothing is working!”

Virgil felt bad for Patton. He knew they all did, but God Patton had been through so much these last couple days he had to take off his binder, just making him feel worse? Virgil obviously didn’t have experience, but he knew that after seeing those pictures and learning what he had Patton was probably feeling horrible. He sighed and tucked his sketchbook under his chin, still leaning heavily on Roman as he worked to undo the double knot holding his hoodie around his waist.

“Hold on,” Roman stopped him. He led Virgil over to the couch next to Logan and undid the knot for him. “There you go.”

“Thanks,” Virgil mumbled. He set down his sketchbook and took the hoodie, holding it out to Patton. “I know it only can help so much, but maybe you could wear this?”

Patton looked at the hoodie for a second, his eyes shining with unshed tears, before he took it wordlessly.

“Are you going to take it off now?” Janus pleaded. Patton curled even tighter in on himself as he looked at Janus.

“I don’t know if I can,” He said in the smallest of voices. “I can… I can try though. Maybe.”

“Perhaps if you turned off the lights so you did not have to see yourself in the mirror?” Logan suggested.

“Okay,” Patton relented. He slowly uncurled himself and got up, wiping stray tears off his face. “I’ll be back I guess.”

“Okay Patton,” Janus breathed out in relief. “Go ahead. You can do it, I know you can.”

Patton gave a small nod before turning toward the bathroom, holding the hoodie close to him, as if it was his only lifeline. He disappeared behind the door and they saw the lights turn off. Janus collapsed onto the floor and put his head in his hands, breathing deeply.

“I have something for you,” Virgil said suddenly without thinking. “Maybe it might make you feel better? Or it can wait.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Janus said. He breathed in once more and looked up at Virgil. He had dark circles under his eyes which were so completely exhausted and sad. “What is it?”

“Well, I, uh, I made a decision,” Virgil said. He handed his sketchbook to Roman so he could rip out the page for him. Roman did so and quickly handed him the picture. “Well, I, uh, I made this for you. If you still want me, I decided yes.”

“What do you mean-” Janus cut himself off as he saw the picture and his eyes widened. “Holy shit, seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously,” Virgil replied with a small smile. “If you still want me.”

Janus didn’t reply, just set aside the picture so he could throw his arms around Virgil. He was careful of his shoulder but still held him tightly. Virgil let out a relieved sigh and smiled. 

“So that’s a yes?” Virgil asked quietly.

“That’s a hell yes,” Janus answered and pulled back so Virgil could see his face again. It was dim, but that Janus spark was back in his eyes. “Welcome to the family, little brother.”

Virgil’s face broke into a grin and he felt tears in his eyes. He leaned back into Janus and wrapped his arm around him happily. “I wanna tell Patton too.” Virgil finally spoke.

“I kinda hoped so,” Janus teased. “Thank you for the hoodie by the way. We have been arguing for fucking hours.”

“It’s no problem, not like I can wear it anyway,” Virgil smiled up at Janus. “Thank you for… for giving me a real family.”

“Thank you for letting us,” Janus replied.

“Letting us what?” Patton’s voice spoke up quietly. Virgil looked to see Patton standing by the bathroom door, Virgil’s hoodie wrapped around him as he looked down at his feet, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I, well,” Virgil glanced at Janus who handed him the picture back quietly. “I made a decision about Janus’s offer to, y’know, join your family. Well, I decided yes and I drew a picture so… yeah, here.”

Virgil thrust the picture out toward Patton who took it with wide eyes. He looked at it and tears quickly started falling down his face.

“I…” Patton started, his tears falling faster. “I thought I lost a brother this trip but… but maybe I didn’t. Virgil thank you. I… I have two brothers now I guess.”

“Okay hold the fuck up,” Janus cut in. “What do you mean ‘lost a brother’?”

Patton crossed his arms again and looked back at the floor, rocking on his feet awkwardly. “Well, I mean… we aren’t biological brothers and I just thought… I don't know. I got scared that… that that meant we weren’t brothers anymore.” Patton reached up to wipe tears off his face as he choked off a sob. “I’m sorry I know it’s not true I just got scared JJ. I can’t lose you.”

Janus shot to his feet and went over to Patton, pulling him into a hug too. Patton kept his arms around himself but laid his head on Janus’s shoulder as he cried. Virgil got up too, feeling a new connection to his chosen family, his brothers, and he wrapped an arm around Patton, but ended up leaning against him heavily as well as he tried to stay awake and on his feet, ignoring the throbbing in his shoulder.

“Patton you will  _ always  _ be my brother,” Janus promised. “Not a single thing on this fucked up, God forsaken Earth could change it. I promise you that you will never lose me.”

Patton nodded and looked up at Janus, tears in his eyes but a smile on his face. “I love you JJ. I’m sorry I’m being so difficult. I just got a little freaked out JJ, but you did too and I wasn’t there for you and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Marshmallow,” Janus assured him. “I’m just worried about you. This...what they did...God it’s so fucked up. I’ll be fine eventually.”

“Promise you’ll tell me if you need help? Or someone?” Patton asked. Virgil was leaning even heavier on Patton now as he fought to keep his eyes open. He had to stay awake though, he had just decided to join this family he had to stay awake to do what he could to help.

“Fine,” Janus said. He pulled back so he could look at Patton and he wiped away his tears. He caught a glimpse of Virgil and snickered. “We should probably get this guy to bed though.”

“‘M fine,” Virgil mumbled, blinking frantically to try and keep his eyes open. “Did a little spell to draw. Just a bit tired. Don’t wanna ruin the moment though.”

“You’re about to pass out on Patton,” Logan pointed out helpfully from the couch.

“You did a spell!?” Patton pulled away from Janus to turn and glare at Virgil. “You were stabbed four days ago and you did a spell that made you this exhausted! Virgil!”

“I wanted to draw you guys the picture,” Virgil objected. “You liked it, right?”

“Of course we loved it kiddo,” Patton sighed. “But you didn’t have to do that. Just you is enough.”

“But I wanted to,” Virgil protested weakly, swaying slightly. “Roman helped. Came into the spell circle and helped.”

“Roman!” Patton turned his glare to the other boy. “You let him do this!?”

“Okay now hang on,” Roman protested hastily. “I didn’t know it would drain him  _ this  _ much! He said it was a little spell!”

“And?” Janus prompted.

“And…” Roman paused before sighing. “Sorry.”

“Good.” Patton said before turning back to look at Virgil. Virgil saw the room going in and out of focus as he tried to stay awake but his body objected.

“Shit, gotta lay down,” Virgil finally admitted, grabbing onto Patton to keep himself from falling.

“Yeah, kiddo, you do,” Patton sighed. He helped Virgil to the couch then laid down next to him, snuggling against him with a happy sigh. “Just cause I love the picture doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna get a dad lecture in the morning, brother bear.”

Virgil grinned and snuggled against Patton as well. He noticed Patton still kept his arms wrapped around himself but Virgil didn’t mind, as he wrapped his good arm around his brother. He felt Janus lay some blankets over them as he finally fell back to sleep with the brothers he had always wanted but never thought he’d have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, feel free to leave a comment, I read and reply to all of them! I hope you enjoyed, see you Sunday!!!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!!! I am so sorry about last week, and also this week, and I will explain everything here.  
> Basically, how Salem and I write this fic as we do dialogue from one perspective first, then we copy and paste that dialogue to the other document and change the thoughts and dialogue tags to make it the other perspective, but honestly this is no fun, we call it copy paste dialogue. Salem and I both had some for this chapter, and Salem had way more than me, they often do because somehow we screwed that up a lot with planning.  
> So what happened is we weren't able to get it done in time, and especially with school getting ready to start and stuff, Salem's end is still not done, but we didn't want to make you guys wait another week. Salem will post their end of the chapter when they finish it, and if they don't finish it we may just post what we have of Logan's perspective and move on, we shall see. But I can't post the next chapter until Salem's end is done either and I don't know when that will happen, so who knows if we will be posting next Sunday.  
> But, what I can say is we do have a one shot to go with this chapter as well that is just kind of Virgil and Remus vibing, so hopefully that makes up for it.  
> I'm really sorry we let it fall apart so much, we really need to get better at not procrastinating until the last minute, and make sure you have Salem's end bookmarked as well so you will get an email when that part is finished, but for now feel free to enjoy Virgil's perspective of this chapter's shenanigans.   
> Oh, also, this one is a long one again guys. It's like 22k so like...whoops  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Pain, depression, anxiety, self-blame, small make out scene, drained social battery, Virgil is overwhelmed, talk of not great parents, I think that's it but also it's really long so I may have forgotten something, so it that's the case please let me know!!!

Virgil woke up the next morning snuggling his brothers on the couch and realized his mistake very quickly. He had not only used magic with a stab wound, he had then slept on a couch, keeping him from regaining all of his energy due to discomfort and putting him in a hell of a lot of pain. He loved snuggling with his new brothers, but fucking shit this was not going to end well.

Virgil knew he had to get up. He really didn’t want to move but _fuck_ it _hurt_. It would hurt more if he moved, but he was near tears just laying here and he knew he wouldn’t last long without the pain meds. He drew his right arm away from Patton slowly, careful not to wake the younger boy then began gently untangling himself from Janus’s hold on him. He went to sit up and hissed as his shoulder screamed at him with, sharp, deep, horrible pain. He froze and leaned on his right arm to support himself until he thought he could continue.

His process to get off of the couch continued like this for a while, moving then stopping when it became too much. He was biting his lip to keep from making too much noise as silent tears had begun to fall down his face. Finally he managed to get himself off the couch, knees shaking under him as he leaned on the arm of the sofa, eyes trained on his goal, the small bottle of pain medication, sitting on the dining table across the room.

Virgil groaned quietly as his not entirely recharged body tried to fight the pain as he took a step. Then another. Five more steps, he could do this.

Another step, a huff of air escaped Virgil’s lips and his right hand curled into a fist.

Step again, more tears on his face, nails biting into his hand as he tried not to cry out.

He took two more steps quickly before he stumbled, the last step being filled as he caught himself on the table with a quiet yelp. Well, at least he was here. He sat down into a chair, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stand any longer. The pain was radiating from his shoulder, shooting down his arm and overwhelming Virgil as he reached for the bottle. 

Well fuck.

He couldn’t open it.

He didn’t want to wake someone up, especially in this state, so he’d just have to wait for someone to wake up and hopefully calm down by then. Suddenly, he felt Janus come up behind him and pluck the pain meds from Virgil’s hand, making quick work of opening the bottle and handing Virgil the two pills. He then went to the kitchen and wordlessly handed Virgil a glass of water. Virgil tried to make it look like he hadn’t been crying as he took the water and medicine gratefully before slumping back against the uncomfortable wooden chair. Janus pushed himself up so he could sit on the table in front of Virgil and took off his glove so he could hold out his hand for him.

Virgil took it without thinking, ignoring the crescent shaped indents on his palms as he played with Janus’s hand. Once he realized what was happening he realized just how much his brother had been paying attention to him in order to know to offer that. With Janus always wearing his gloves, Virgil wasn’t sure he had ever seen Janus’s hand this close before. He had scars on his knuckles likely from past fights and his nails were cracked and misshapen. It just reminded Virgil of what an amazing and protective brother he had gained.

Virgil continued to play with Janus’s hand in silence, worried about how strained his voice would sound if he tried to speak while in so much pain right now. He curled and uncurled Janus’s fingers and tapped random patterns along Janus’s knuckles. He scooted slightly closer to reach Janus better without thinking and immediately had to stifle a groan as his shoulder flashed in pain again. He let go of Janus’s hand for a moment to wipe off the new tears before returning to his task, now close enough to rest his head on Janus’s knees, so he did that. Janus laid his free hand on the back of Virgil’s neck and began to just stroke his thumb up and down. Virgil closed his eyes as he continued to mindlessly fiddle with Janus’s fingers, taking deep breaths as he tried to ignore the pain. God, getting stabbed fucking sucked. All he wanted to do was have a nice cuddle session with his new brothers and make them a nice gift damn it!

Eventually the pain meds began to take effect. Because the pain started worse, by the time they had fully set in Virgil still had a pretty intense throbbing pain in his shoulder, but it was more tolerable at least. His hand stilled on Janus’s as he began to feel his remaining lack of energy hit him again, but he refused to go back to sleep. They had things they needed to do today.

“You good?” Janus yawned.

“Yeah,” Virgil muttered. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Nah you’re good,” Janus said.

Virgil still felt bad, but he didn’t want to get into that right now, so he just sighed and sat up with a wince. He was this fucking close to asking Patton to amputate his arm at this point, cause this shit sucked. Janus narrowed his eyes but otherwise didn’t react as they heard a door open down the hall. He felt the tugging sensation grow painfully and with his shoulder on top of it, he couldn’t help the muttered curse words that came out of his mouth.

“Fucking fucking fucking fuck!” Virgil mumbled, leaning his face into his hand as Janus snickered a little. Virgil raised his head slightly to glare at Janus as he continued to grow more tense as Logan made his way over. Virgil was able to relax somewhat when Logan got right near him, but then the throbbing in his shoulder just came right back to the forefront of his mind to replace it.

Logan kneeled down and wrapped his arms around Virgil gently, placing his chin on Virgil’s good shoulder. Virgil’s body tensed in preparation for pain, but Logan was careful enough that nothing happened so he let himself relax again. Or, well, relax as much as he could considering his fucking shoulder was trying to steal his sanity. 

“Good morning,” Logan muttered, words a bit slurred.

“Morning,” Virgil muttered in response, thinking good was a bit of a stretch. 

Virgil heard some shifting from the couch and glanced over to see Patton sitting up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. Virgil glanced at Janus to see him smiling fondly before realizing Virgil was looking at him and he made his expression neutral again.

“Good morning kiddos!” Patton grinned when he saw the three of them. “You guys want some breakfast?”

“Always,” Janus answered.

“Just coffee for now,” Logan said, burying his face in Virgil’s neck.

“Coffee and some instant pancakes it is!” Patton declared, getting up and making his way to the cars to grab the box mix and coffee grounds. He returned a few moments later and went into the kitchen, which for once wasn’t a separate room because these interior designers weren’t heathens, so they could see him mixing up the pancakes and putting them on the stove while the coffee brewed.

Patton came out a few minutes later somehow managing to carry three mugs of coffee. He handed Janus a mug of plain black coffee, then gave Logan his which was also very dark. Patton then hands Virgil his cup, which he knew was filled with inhumane amounts of sugar because that was the only way Virgil would drink it.

Virgil downed his coffee because fuck it he needed the energy if he was going to make it through the amount of pain he was in today, and he would have asked for more but Patton had already returned to the kitchen to work on the pancakes. Logan set his down after taking a few sips, and without thinking Virgil picked it up to steal some and… damn, that was a lot of sugar. Like, even more than Virgil had, which was saying something. Logan raised an accusing eyebrow at him. Virgil took another sip before setting it down, because he knew Logan needed the caffeine too.

A few minutes later Patton returned with a plate piled with pancakes with some extra plates and forks. He served pancakes for himself, Janus, and Virgil. Virgil set his plate in his lap so he wouldn’t have to have Logan move. Not only did he know Sleepy Logan needed snuggles, but he was also using the weight of Logan’s head on his good shoulder to ground him and distract him from the pain in his bad one.

He struggled to maneuver the fork with his right hand, especially as he tried to keep both of his shoulders as still as possible. Logan sighed and unwrapped his arms from Virgil’s waist so he could sit up. Virgil sighed and winced as the grounding pressure he was using disappeared, but didn’t say anything, not wanting to force Logan to stay. It would probably be more comfortable cuddling Roman in bed anyways, so Virgil wasn’t going to stop him.

“Are you alright?” Logan asked. “Did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil assured him. “You can go back and snuggle with Roman. I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Logan said slowly.

No, Virgil was absolutely not sure. His shoulder was killing him and he wanted the comfort so bad before he fell back into being the irritable dick he acted like in school and scared all of his friends away. But he also didn’t want to keep Logan here if he didn’t want to stay. Cuddling Virgil while he tried to eat was probably not very comfortable, so there was no way he was forcing his boyfriend to stay because he couldn’t deal with a little bit of pain.

“He’s not, cuddle him,” Janus ordered. Logan gave Virgil a look and Virgil glanced down at his plate. Damn it Janus. Logan had this little smile on his face at that and Virgil couldn’t help but feel a little bit grateful for Janus calling him out because his boyfriend was so fucking cute. Logan came back but went to Virgil’s left side and sat down on the floor so he could lean his head on Virgil’s side. Virgil smiled a little as he returned to fighting with his inability to use a fork in his right hand, finally managing to get a few bites of pancakes to his mouth.

Roman eventually appeared at the entrance to the hallway, stretching his arms over his head as he yawned.

“Please tell me Patton made pancakes,” Roman said.

“Of course I did kiddo!” Patton said. “Take as many as you want, I can always make more!”

“Oh hell yes,” Roman muttered. 

He crossed the room so he could pile pancakes onto a plate. He plopped onto the table next to Janus and snuggled into his side, laying his head on his shoulder as he began to eat. At this point, Virgil didn’t even question it. He knew his brother was a secret softie, and if he tried to kill Roman he knew Roman could hold his own. Janus just sighed and set aside his empty plate to wrap his arm around Roman’s shoulders and mess with his hair. So. Freaking. Cute. He looked like he hated every second of it.

Virgil made it through one pancake before giving up on everything and putting the plate on the table with a groan cause apparently even with pain meds every movement was making Virgil closer and closer to just screaming. Even sitting still fucking hurt. Right in that moment, Virgil decided to make a vow to himself to never, _ever_ get stabbed again. At this point, Virgil didn’t give a shit, so he decided to take even more from their medical supplies before he killed someone.

“Fuck this! Patton get me the fucking tylenol before I fucking scream,” Virgil snapped. Patton looked at him in surprise but nodded and hurried over to the first aid kit without a word.

“‘Bout fucking time,” Janus muttered before a horrified look crossed his face. “Oh shit I’m gonna spend the day with him. Fucking hell, I’m gonna die. Welp, love you Pat, nice being your brother while it lasted. Tell our parents I want them to die in a hole.”

“You’re not gonna die,” Patton sighed as he gave Virgil the medicine. “This’ll help, kiddo.”

Virgil just nodded and took the medicine without a word, embarrassed by his outburst. He did feel a little bad for Logan and Janus, but he just hoped he could pull himself together by the time they left. Finally, Remus emerged from his room. He gave Roman a small smile as he headed for the kitchen to grab coffee before reemerging and just picking up a pancake without a plate, folding it like a taco and dipping it in his coffee before taking a bite of the soggy pancake.

“Should he be allowed caffeine?” Janus wondered.

“Probably not, no,” Roman answered, not making a single move to stop his brother.

Remus just shrugged as he ate the pancake at ungodly speeds before grabbing another and doing the same thing. He then downed the remaining coffee, despite the soggy pancake lumps floating in the cup and went to clean the mug without a word.

Virgil rolled his eyes but slowly got up, wincing at every movement, but the tylenol was starting to set in and make it feel more like an intense ache then the throbbing it was before. He knew now was probably not the best time for this, but he felt absolutely filthy and really did not want to go on another excursion in the shirt he had been wearing for a week. And honestly, he’d rather get all of the extra pain done at once than draw it out by doing this tomorrow and making tomorrow extra painful as well.

“As much as I love this shirt,” Virgil started, turning to Logan who was still on the floor. “It’s fucking disgusting at this point. It's been a week, I need a new one.”

“Feel free to grab whichever one you like,” Logan replied.

“‘Kay,” Virgil replied. 

He started shuffling to the door, trying to keep his face as blank as possible as the horrible tugging returned, helping to distract from his shoulder pain but hurting nonetheless. He was at the bedroom door when he realized something. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling for a moment in annoyance before turning back to the group.

“I’m gonna need help,” Virgil muttered irritably. He was so fucking done with this.

“I’m comin, I’m comin,” Roman sighed, pulling away from Janus and handing him his plate before getting off the table and going over to Virgil. 

Virgil opened the door and went into the bedroom. He found Logan’s bag quickly and didn’t even think twice before opening it with his teeth like he’d been doing with his own bag the past week. He shuffled through the bag and found a plain black button down and threw it at Roman before zipping the bag back up and getting back to his feet with a grimace. He saw Roman going over to pick the button down off the floor and resisted the urge to just bury his face in a pillow because he was so bad at throwing shit, especially with his right arm. Like, the shirt had literally landed on the opposite side of the bed from Roman. Once Roman had the shirt he walked back around to Virgil and draped the shirt over his shoulder so he could help Virgil take off the sling and then get to work on the buttons of the shirt he was wearing.

Once Roman got to the point of actually helping him out of the shirt and into the new one, Virgil just closed his eyes and grit his teeth. It wasn’t as bad as the first time, but after sleeping on the couch and draining his energy, it didn’t matter how many pain meds he had taken, it still fucking hurt. 

Roman worked quickly, and soon he was buttoning up the new shirt and Virgil sighed in relief and opened his eyes. He saw the old one discarded on the bed.

“I’m making Patton wash that so I can have it back,” Virgil muttered, almost to himself.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Roman commented with a grin. “Logan’s not the only one who thinks you look amazing in it.”

Virgil just rolled his eyes and lightly punched Roman in the shoulder with his good arm as Roman finished the last of the buttons. Roman messed with the collar of the shirt for a moment, making it stick up at odd angles before he re-tied Virgil’s sling.

“There, back to your emo-black roots,” Roman nodded. “How’s it feel?”

“Not emo enough until I have my hoodie on,” Virgil retorted. 

“Well since you’re hiking through a humid forest in Florida that might not be the best idea,” Roman pointed out. “I’ll help you put it on when you get back, how’s that?”

“Okay,” Virgil said, a small smile appearing on his lips. He had barely gotten time to enjoy the hoodie Logan picked out for him when he couldn’t even get it on any more. It would be really great to get to wear it again. “Speaking of that, I should probably head out so we can actually do that hike. Fair warning, I might kill one of them while we’re gone cause my shoulder is fucking killing me, so say your goodbyes before we leave.”

“I mean we need both of them so try not to,” Roman chuckled before offering his arm to Virgil. 

Virgil rolled his eyes but took his arm, ready to get back to Logan to ease at least one source of his pain. The two of them left the room and Virgil quickened his shuffling steps that did little to prevent the jostling of his shoulder, but at least it was something, as he made his way over to Logan who was sitting in the chair he’d been in earlier, now dressed, holding probably a second cup of coffee and reading on his phone. Virgil let go of Roman’s arm as he settled down on the floor next to Logan, the pain in his chest easing, once again allowing him to notice the pain in his shoulder. He really couldn’t win here, could he?

“You nerds ready to go then?” Janus asked.

Virgil sighed and pushed himself back to his feet, seriously regretting sitting on the floor if he had to get right back up because fucking fuck he needed to think shit through more with his shoulder. He hissed in pain as he got to his feet, but at least the tylenol had made the consistent level of pain more manageable, even if it was still being extra sensitive. Who the hell let him fall asleep on the couch, that’s what Virgil wanted to know. Not that he would have moved if someone had told him to, but still!

“I suppose,” Logan sighed, finishing off his coffee before standing up. He didn’t immediately deposit the mug in the sink which was odd, instead just stood there like he was waiting for something.

It took Virgil a moment to figure out what Logan was waiting for, but then he noticed Logan looking at him and realized Logan was waiting for him. Virgil was a little confused as he followed his boyfriend into the kitchen, Logan walking slightly slower so Virgil could keep close, before Virgil realized he was doing this because of the tether. Virgil smiled a little to himself when he came to this conclusion, grateful for how considerate Logan was being right now because if everyone was going to live through this trip, Virgil needed this.

Once they got back out they saw Janus waiting by the door with Virgil’s bag. With Logan close Virgil noticed the sharp tug to his bag and let out a small groan. Could he just not have these abilities, or at the very least could they please not be physically painful!? Once they were close enough Virgil snatched the backpack from Janus and held it against his chest with his right arm without thinking about it.

“By the way he threatened to kill you both!” Roman called. “So good luck!”

“Fuck you Oberon!” Virgil exclaimed.

“Oh fuck what did I do now?” Remus groaned.

“Not you!” Virgil snapped before turning to the door.

“Pretty sure he’s more focused on fucking your brother, Remus!” Janus called back.

“I hate all of you,” Virgil muttered as he waited for someone with an available arm to open the door.

Logan sighed and opened the door as Roman cackled behind them, leading the way out to his car. Virgil went to the backseat door and tapped it with his foot to get someone to open the damn thing for him. He figured people would want to deal with him as little as possible when he was acting like this, so he might as well let them avoid him. Logan opened the door for him and Virgil got in, tossing his backpack onto the floor. Then to his surprise, Logan got into the back with him while Janus got in the driver seat.

“You don’t have to sit back here,” Virgil said quietly as Logan got settled. “You don’t have to deal with me right now.”

“I’m aware,” Logan shrugged. “But I always want to ‘deal with’ you, as you put it, so here I am.”

“Whatever,” Virgil grumbled. He winced slightly as he scooted closer to Logan and laid his head on his shoulder without another word.

Janus let them get settled before he started the car and began driving. Virgil stayed laying against Logan as he tried to ignore the ache in his shoulder and tried to bite back his irritability so he wouldn’t drive Logan and Janus crazy. They drove in tense silence for a while, none of them really having anything good to say and Logan and Janus probably worried about irritating Virgil farther. About a half hour into the drive they hit a pothole and Virgil yelped in pain at the sudden jolt to his shoulder. Logan slid an arm around him and took Virgil’s free hand in his other one, but otherwise didn’t say anything.

“So what exactly are we looking for?” Janus asked, breaking the silence.

“Dogwood,” Virgil mumbled into Logan’s shoulder.

“Okay, you do realize how many trees are in the Everglades right?” Janus said.

“Dogwood bark is usually a yellowish brown,” Logan told them. “It’s almost scaly in appearance and the inner layer will be white or gray. The leaves are an angled oval with visible veins and have white flowers with four petals when in bloom.”

“Will it be in bloom?” Virgil asked, feeling like an idiot for not knowing this. This was for him, for his talismans, for the spell he was going to cast. He should know this crap!

“If I remember correctly, it begins to bloom in mid to late march,” Logan answered after a short pause. “So I believe it should be. Forgive me, my studies were not often centered on botany.”

“I should fucking know this,” Virgil groaned, turning his head to look at the roof of the car. “This shit is for me, I should know this!”

“Dude, fucking _Logan_ barely does,” Janus pointed out. “No ones expecting you to take a fucking online botany course or something. We have the info, doesn’t matter who knew it or not because now we all do.”

Virgil sighed. He knew Janus was right, but that didn’t mean he didn’t expect these things of himself. This was his one role in the group, spellcaster, and even he couldn’t seem to get that right. Vaguely he realized that his pain was probably affecting this part of his mood as well, but he didn’t really care enough to do anything about it, so he just let his thoughts continue to spiral as he shifted his head again to face Logan’s shoulder once more. 

He just hated that he kept holding the group back. Whether it was his abilities determining groupings because of the tether, his lack of knowledge or inability to do necessary spells, or him getting himself injured left and right, he was always hindering them somehow. The one thing he had going for him was the ability to end this, but even that was delayed because he got himself hurt. The least he could do was understand the fucking ingredients for these god damn spells, yet somehow he was already managing to fuck that up too. He could be doing things to help more. He could be studying more, or helping Patton make breakfasts, or training with Roman so he could prevent himself from getting injured. Instead he spent all of his time sleeping because he was too weak to deal with his own injury or reading textbook crap about spells because he was too weak to actually cast them. And here he was, when he should actually be able to put that textbook shit to use, and he was failing.

And yeah, he was definitely spiraling.

“Virgil?” Logan said. “Are you alright?”

Virgil just nodded against Logan’s shoulder, causing a small throb in his shoulder but he didn’t care. He knew he was most definitely not alright, but he really didn’t want to talk about it, and if he said he was okay Janus would call him out on his lie, so he couldn’t do that. Therefore, he settled on nodding. Logan probably didn’t believe him considering he pulled Virgil a little tighter into him and began tapping on Virgil’s hand with his thumb, but he didn’t argue either, and honestly Virgil wasn’t sure if he was glad for that or not. Janus on the other hand…

“You wanna try that verbally?” Janus cut in.

“I nodded,” Virgil informed him, because that was in fact not a lie.

“I meant answer the question verbally, smartass,” Janus retorted.

Well fuck. 

“Why?” Virgil asked, trying to avoid it much as possible because he knew if he actually said he was fine Janus would call him out on his lie. Although he wasn’t sure that would be a bad thing...but it might. And he didn’t want to find out.

“Virgil I want you to do me a favor and think about who my other brother is and how he handles his problems,” Janus said instead of answering. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure out you’re deflecting? That’s Patton’s fucking signature move.”

Virgil buried his face further into Logan. Great, now he was just being even more difficult. He was irritating his brother and probably Logan too. He couldn’t even get through one car ride without bringing the group down. He briefly considered jumping out of the car when a flash of pain from his shoulder decided to interrupt this already painful conversation for no reason, then figured that would probably annoy Janus and Logan even more, and it would probably injure him more and make him even more of a liability, so he decided against it.

“Virgil, look, we just want you to talk to us, kid,” Janus sighed. “If you really don’t want to, then you can tell me to shut the fuck up, but I don’t think you want me to.”

“I don’t know what the fuck I want you to do!” Virgil finally snapped. “All I know is I’m spiraling and I’m in pain and it fucking sucks!”

Well, there was probably a better way to go about that than yelling at his brother. God damn it why couldn’t he seem to do anything right!? 

“Well first thing you need to is take a breath and calm the fuck down,” Janus replied.

“Janus…” Logan warned.

“Fine, sorry,” Janus muttered, taking a breath himself.

“Virgil why are you spiraling?” Logan asked calmly.

Why was he sprialing? Oh, boy, was that a question. He was in pain, he was useless, he was pissed at this whole God forsaken situation. He was so fucking done with always being in pain and never having the answers and only being useful for one thing. He was a burden on the group and he didn’t know how to stop being a burden because no matter how hard he tried he always seemed to fuck something up and…

Nope. No. Stop. He was feeling worse because he was in pain, and he was letting his thoughts get the better of him. He had to stop.

“I…” Virgil started then sighed. How much was he going to tell? He knew Janus was right, there was a part of him that wanted to talk. He wanted the reassurances he knew he’d get, but at the same time he didn’t want to just burden them even more with his stupid, insignificant, unimportant thought spirals. They had so many other bigger things to think about.

“A lot of reasons.” Virgil finally admitted.

“Would you like to tell us?” Logan prompted. “You don’t have to say all of them if you do not wish to.”

“Well first of all my shoulder is still trying to kill me so that isn’t helping the situation,” Virgil muttered. But he knew that while that was making him more susceptible to all this, it wasn’t the reason he was spiraling, not really. “I just feel like my whole purpose in this group is to do spell shit, and I keep fucking it up. I just keep not being good enough.”

There, okay, that was something. He knew it wasn’t everything, but the way he burdened this group with his injuries and abilities well… his feelings on that weren’t going to be solved that easily. Neither were the ones on his spell casting ability, but it was a starting point.

“Okay first of all your role in this group is not just the caster, so jot that the fuck down,” Janus scoffed. “And since I know you won’t believe me, is my only role the lie detector? Or Logan’s the powerful one? Or Roman that random guy without much purpose but he has a sword so we let him stick around?”

“No!” Virgil objected quickly, sitting up. “No, of course not! I’m sorry I just… fuck! This whole thing is reliant on my ability to cast spells God damn it! And I… I’m just not good enough, Bubby.”

Where the fuck did that nickname come from? Virgil honestly wasn’t sure, maybe he had heard it on a TV show once? Yeah, that was it. Plus if Janus called him Oreo it was only fair that he had something, so he was gonna stick with it. It didn’t exactly have any cute reasoning behind it like Oreo and Marshmallow, but Virgil wasn’t all that creative, so it was probably the best he was gonna get. He heard Janus sniffle and looked at him in the rearview mirror to see his brother on the verge of tears. Well shit, what had he done this time?

“Shit, Janus, are you okay?” Virgil asked. “I’m sorry, did I do something?”

“What?” Janus asked, as if coming out of trance. He realized what was going on and wiped at his eyes with one hand. “Shit, no, I’m fine. You’re good, Oreo I just...it’s kinda stupid honestly, but nicknames were kind of a, a big deal before shit went down in my family so, I don’t know, this just kinda makes you feel, like, _officially_ part of the family and it just means a lot to me I guess. Whatever, that probably doesn’t make any sense.”

Well fuck now Virgil was gonna cry. He closed his eyes for a moment to keep the tears at bay before replying. “No, it um… it makes sense. I’m glad you like it.”

“I really do, kiddo,” Janus said softly. He wiped his face one more time and cleared his throat and when he spoke again his voice was mostly back to normal. “But you’re not getting out of this that easily.”

“What if I use more nicknames?” Virgil asked. “Would that get me out of this? Cause like I did a talk so…”

“Nope I’m not Logan, you can’t win me over with a pet name,” Janus smirked.

“Hey!” Logan protested.

“Look, I dunno what you want me to say,” Virgil sighed. “I know I’m doing okay for any regular circumstances, but that isn’t what it is. The literal fate of the world hangs on my ability to cast spells and I’m scared out of my mind that I won’t be able to do it. I don’t exactly think one conversation is going to change that.”

“I don’t want you to say anything I want to shut up and listen to me and Logan tell you that you’re full of shit,” Janus said. “And no shit, Sherlock, but we can just have the conversation multiple times till it gets through your skull.”

“I would be more afraid if you were fully confident,” Logan admitted. “While I don’t want you to believe you stand no chance, there is nothing more dangerous than overconfidence in spellcasting. It is rather like the myth of Icarus, the boy who thought he could do anything and flew too close to the sun.”

While that wasn’t exactly what he was expecting Logan to say, it did help in some strange way. He had expected Logan to try and assure him, say that he would be plenty prepared in the next few weeks. But Virgil wouldn’t have believed that. But this, hearing that his fear was valid, not only that, but actually potentially helpful, in a strange way that assurance helped. And relating it to a myth, it just reminded Virgil of a few days ago when Logan was telling him the stories of the constellations, and in an odd way, that helped some too. While it didn’t remedy the situation, it helped. But at the same time, what Logan was talking about was avoiding overconfidence, but Virgil was terrified. 

“But I’m _terrified._ ” Virgil admitted. Because when he admitted these things, they could help. He wouldn’t burden them with everything, but they could help with this. 

“And that is okay,” Logan promised, squeezing Virgil’s hand. “As long as you acknowledge that you have grown, and you will continue to grow until you _are_ ready.”

“But what if I’m never ready?” Virgil asked, his voice small.

“You will be,” Logan assured him. “It is entirely illogical to assume you won’t, as, again, you are going to continue to grow. You will not simply reach a fixed point and stop all further progress, that is not how skills work. Will it take time? Absolutely. Will it take a large amount of energy and work? Of course. But you will get there. And we will all help you in any way we can. In fact, if necessary, there is one member of our group I would happily allow you to practice your combat spells on.”

Virgil chuckled a little, surprised by the joke but finding it slightly amusing nonetheless. Sadly, he was feeling ready to begin forgiving the certain group member he knew Logan was referring to, and practicing combat spells on him did not seem like a great way to go about that. Plus, he really hated combat spells.

“I hate combat spells,” Virgil groaned. “They’re hard and I’m supposed to do them without a spell circle and uhg!”

“That’s fair,” Janus interjected.

“Personally I think it says a lot about you that you take to protection and defensive spells much better than combat spells,” Logan pointed out. 

“I guess,” Virgil gave a one shoulder shrug. 

He was feeling a bit better about all of this, though he still wasn’t sure he believed he could do it. But he had known that he wouldn’t be sure from one conversation. Hell, he probably never would be sure, he just had to hope and get as sure as he possibly could.

But now he was just about done with this conversation. He was done making these people help him with his stupid insecurities. He didn’t need to burden them any more. 

“How much farther?” Virgil asked after a moment.

“About a half hour?” Janus answered, checking the map he had open on his phone. “It says like forty-five minutes but with no traffic it’s a hell of a lot less.”

“Okay,” Virgil nodded. 

Now, to keep the conversation going, but to keep it away from himself. He needed something to listen to or he’d start to spiral again and the pain in his shoulder would start to overwhelm him, but he didn’t really have the energy left to carry a conversation. He searched his brain frantically for anything, but the only thing he could think of was nicknames, as Janus had mentioned their importance to him earlier. He realized he didn’t know if Logan had any nicknames before this. He wasn’t sure it would really start a conversation that he wouldn’t have to carry, but he could try it.

“So,” Virgil started. “I know Janus had a bunch of nicknames before this, but what about you Lo?”

“Oh,” Logan said, apparently surprised at the question. “Mor- _Patton_ called me Loganberry before, though he still does now that his memory has been restored, so I’m not sure if that qualifies…”

“I think that counts,” Virgil encouraged, desperate for someone else to start carrying this conversation, or any conversation really, it didn’t have to be this one. “Any other ones?”

“I did not know many people, and my parents were not the type to give me a nickname,” Logan answered with a shrug as if it just made sense. Virgil really wasn’t sure how to feel about Logan’s parents at this point. Well, scratch that, he was sure how to feel. He hated them. They forced Logan to suppress his emotions, they gave him all work and no play effectively isolating him from other people, they were in the cult, _and_ they couldn’t even give Logan a nickname!?. “However Emile did call me ‘Bear’, and Remy had an array of nicknames, though the most common were ‘Jellybean’ and “Blue Wizard’.”

“Those are cute!” Virgil said, but Logan’s response had opened another question, therefore another conversation topic not on Virgil. “Who are Remy and Emile?”

“Family friends,” Logan replied. “Emile was a therapist at the hospital where I was born and is one of the few who know about my abilities. He witnessed me using them as an infant and agreed to help my parents understand them and how to control them. He and his husband Remy would come over to our apartment every weekend and Emile would cook since no one in my house could do it well. They wanted to come over more, alas Remy’s schedule as a cop and Emile’s as a hospital employee did not line up often enough. Though there were plenty of times I would stay with them while my parents were...away.”

Virgil’s bad mood was not helping his restraint here and he really wanted to just hunt Logan’s parents down and yell at them for treating this beautiful, amazing boy so horribly and training him to fear his emotions the way they did. It took every last bit of motivation in Virgil to keep himself from doing that, and honestly, he was surprised he was successful. 

“What would you normally do with Remy and Emile?” Virgil asked, trying to stear the conversation away from Logan’s parents before he did something stupid.

“Emile was able to get me out into the world under the guise of ‘training’,” Logan chuckled. “He took me to a golf course a few times. He would tell my parents it would be to test my abilities on small, moving, fast objects, but once we arrived I did not use my magic at all. He just wanted to spend time with me.”

“Okay he sounds way more chill than your parents,” Janus commented. 

Virgil appreciated him saying something because if he had to talk anymore he wasn’t sure actual words would come out. Likely just pained noises and maybe a few curse words thrown around. But at least he had managed to get something going, so now he could listen and try to pretend he didn’t feel drained and sore and emotionally exhausted already. Despite that, Virgil did manage a nod in agreement with Janus to show he was still listening.

“My parents did their jobs,” Logan protested, sounding surprisingly defensive. “I am alive, I’d say my morals are fairly decent, and I have at least a vague control of my abilities.”

At some point, when Virgil was not feeling this shitty, he was going to sit his boyfriend down and explain to him that that is not all parents are supposed to do!

“Tell us more about Remy and Emile,” Virgil managed to say, not trusting Janus to bring this conversation back to the more positive topic on his own. 

“Emile reminds me a lot of Patton,” Logan replied. “He’s kind, optimistic, and a child at heart, which is a large contributor to his success in his job. Remy is much more different. He’s dry, sarcastic, and much more blunt than Emile, but he’s funny, bold, incredibly clever, and there is very little he fears. He is the one who taught me how to fire a gun, hence how I was able to teach you.”

“Damn they’re even more different than Roman and Virgil,” Janus muttered. “At least they’re both equally extra.”

Virgil wanted to be offended, considering Roman was at least a little more extra than he was, but he didn’t care at this point, so he just gave a one shoulder shrug and finally gave in and set his head back onto Logan’s shoulder. He tried not to think about the fact that they were about to go on a hike.

“One thing they have in common with Roman and Virgil is they are hopelessly in love,” Logan said and Virgil felt his face grow warm. He was pretty sure him and Roman weren’t the only couple in this group that had that in common with Remy and Emile. “They have been married for approximately...ten years? Not even the lack of time they got to spend together caused tension. I believe the longest fight they had was when I was approximately...thirteen? Yet it only lasted a few days.”

“Okay I’ve had longer fights with _Patton_ ,” Janus scoffed. “They’re not human dude, there’s no way that’s possible.”

“I can assure we did all the necessary tests,” Logan laughed before pausing. “I was going to say they are as human as you or I until I realized the problem with that statement. However I can definitively say they are entirely human. It still surprises me sometimes, considering they’ve always been fiercely allowing, even accepting of my magical side. They have that in common with you Virgil, I believe they will like you a lot when they meet you.”

Wait, when!? _When_ they meet him!? Logan wanted him to meet these people that were so important to him, and he thought they’d like Virgil!? Virgil glanced up at Logan in shock and saw an excited and happy look in his eyes as he looked at Virgil lovingly. Virgil gave him a small smile. He couldn’t believe Logan actually wanted him to meet these people who had helped to raise him! He just hoped Logan was right, he hoped they would like him. Although, he would never get to meet them if he didn’t get this spell right…

Nope. He didn’t want to think about that anymore. He was so fucking tired of thinking about that. Just let him think about how much he loves his boyfriend damn it!

“Alright you gay fucks, we’re here,” Janus announced.

Well, time to go hiking with an extremely sore stab wound on his shoulder, carry a backpack because if he got separated from it he’d be in pain, and try like hell to not get more than three feet away from Logan or Janus. And if he did get too far away… well, he’d just have to hope he didn’t have the total shut down he suspected was coming.

Virgil made his way out of the car with what he hoped was minimal grunts and hisses, because sitting in the car for two hours after sleeping on the couch after doing a draining spell… Virgil really had to start thinking ahead with these decisions, especially considering now he was about to go on a hike. Janus was already out of the car because he didn't have to struggle and since Virgil had been basically on top of Logan, his boyfriend had to follow him out of the car.

The moment Virgil got out of the car, the energies of the place hit him and he resisted the urge to dive back into the car to escape it. Normally he didn’t mind the slight hum of the energies around him but this, in a place so connected with the elements, well shit, it was a lot. Virgil closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. This was a lot. This was too much. Damn, no wonder his parents never brought him to a park.

"I hate this place," Janus sighed. "It always made me feel weird."

"That is most likely due to your magic reacting to the energy around you," Logan pointed out with a shrug. Virgil then noticed Logan was holding his backpack, which he had forgotten about with all the energies overwhelming him. Virgil wordlessly took the bag from Logan and swung it over his right shoulder with a huff of pain. But there was no way he was taking any chances of that scroll leaving his vicinity. Hell, if he could put Logan in a backpack right now he would.

"So much of my life makes way more sense now," Janus said. "Well, let's fucking get this over with."

The thought of actually going into the forest with all of those energies to hike, which would hurt his shoulder more, God how the hell was Virgil going to do this. Before Logan or Janus could walk away he held up his hand for them to stop. He needed another second to adjust here. This was a lot, it was too much, damn it how the hell was he gonna do this!?

"Virgil you and I could remain with the car if you'd like," Logan offered.

Virgil just looked at Logan. He really thought Virgil was gonna say yes to that? Seriously!?

"It was just an offer," Logan muttered.

“Just gimme a sec,” Virgil mumbled, slightly embarrassed for delaying them but he just needed a moment to adjust. He needed a moment to process all the shit going on with the energies around him. There were so many.

After a moment, Virgil was still feeling overwhelmed but he knew that wouldn’t change, so at least he was better adjusted to the feeling. He took a deep breath then nodded to the others. He could do this, right? He wasn’t gonna shut down or bite anyones head off. He just had to get through one hike, then he could go hide in a room and calm down until he could trust himself not to yell at everyone. This was going to be _fine_.

Logan held out his hand to Virgil and Virgil took it, probably gripping it tighter than he should but he didn’t care. It was the only thing keeping him from being entirely overwhelmed by all of this shit right now, so he was going to hang on for dear life. Then Janus led the way into the Everglades. The father they began to walk into the forest the stronger the energies got and the more the walking started to irritate his shoulder.

Virgil’s grip on Logan’s hand continued to grow tighter as they walked. He was just so overwhelmed. The pain, the energies, his own drained energies, he couldn’t do it. Fuck.

Virgil could feel himself starting to shut down and pressed even closer to Logan as they walked, desperate to keep this from happening. Roman and his parents, well, fake parents, were the only ones that had ever seen him get like this. He couldn’t let everyone see him like this. He bit his lip as they kept walking, trying desperately to keep himself from a total shut down. He just had to make it through the hike, then he wouldn’t have to talk, and he wouldn’t have to deal with all of these energies. He just had to make it to the car.

They had been hiking for about twenty minutes when Virgil finally snapped. Janus had spotted a flowering tree and went over to investigate. He looked carefully at one of the flowers before gesturing to Logan.

"Yo Logan, is this it?" Janus asked.

Then Logan let go of Virgil's hand which was almost enough to make him snap on it’s own as it was the only thing grounding him, and _then_ he began to walk over to Janus. Virgil felt the moment he got far enough away. The tugging returned, feeling that much stronger in Virgil’s overwhelmed state. That was the final straw. Virgil’s mind just couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much pain, too many energies, too much of everything. He tried to fight it, but it was useless as his brain entirely shut down, going into survival mode. Virgil practically ran to Logan despite his shoulder's objections and he clung to Logan’s arm for dear life, his brain working desperately to block everything out.

Logan stopped halfway to Janus and looked down at Virgil, frowning in complete and utter confusion. He exchanged a glance with Janus who shrugged. 

"Uh, Virgil?" Logan began slowly. "Is everything alright."

Fuck. No. This wasn’t happening. He hadn’t completely shut down. This couldn’t be happening. He could still talk, right?

Virgil hissed at Logan.

Oh God, this couldn’t be happening. This was not good. This wasn’t just anti social, this was a complete and utter shut down. And Logan and Janus had never seen this before. This was not good at all.

"I'm sorry did he just hiss at me?" Logan wondered.

"I think he did," Janus laughed. "I mean, are you surprised?"

"He's normally only like this when he first wakes up," Logan said, giving his arm an experimental tug.

Virgil’s grip tightened and he hissed again, much louder this time. He was not letting Logan walk away. It was all too much. Logan had to stay.

"This is beautiful," Janus cackled, pulling out his phone. Virgil glared at Janus and hissed at him too. They needed to stop talking. Everything was too much. He needed them to stop, he needed everything to stop.

"It's mildly frightening," Logan disagreed. "But we do need to find a way to collect the wood now that my abilities are apparently not at our disposal."

At the mention of Logan’s abilities Virgil grew even more tense. Nope. He didn’t care how nice they felt, he was not going to survive if there were any more energies. He wanted to say that, his survival mode begged him to make it clear, but with his brain shut down to the point it was not possibly for him to do anything except hiss again. So he did.

"Geez kid calm down," Janus said, still laughing. 

They all needed to shut up. So, Virgil hissed at him again. Damn it if only Roman were here! He’d understand what Virgil needed and Virgil could actually get back to normal instead of being a Goddamn cat! This was so embarrassing but he couldn’t do anything else. He couldn’t control a total shut down. This time Janus just rolled his eyes.

"I mean I've got that knife Virgil gave me," Janus pointed out. "I guess I could use that to fucking, I don't know, saw a branch off or something. The talismans don't have to be huge, right?"

Clearly they weren’t getting the point that he needed them to shut up, so Virgil just buried his face in Logan’s shoulder to try and block it all out. Logan apparently thought about it before responding.

"I suppose not," He said. "Just please attempt to find a thick one. Also do you carry both knives everywhere you go?"

"Absolutely," Janus nodded as he began to climb the tree in search of a branch. "Not all of us have our weapons as a part of us, dipshit."

Seriously? He could have just answered the question but noooo, he had to ask another question and keep them talking longer. Fuck this, just fuck all of it. Virgil buried his face deeper into Logan’s shirt in desperation, since clearly they couldn’t figure out what the hissing meant. Damn it why couldn’t Roman just be here!?

Thankfully they didn’t talk anymore as Janus sawed off the branch. There was a loud crash though as the branch fell which caused Virgil to flinch and somehow cling even tighter and push himself even closer to Logan. Janus jumped down and landed in a roll before beginning to saw at the branch more, the sound of the saw just another thing adding to how overwhelmed Virgil was. Finally, _finally_ , Janus stood up with the two pieces of wood. He opened his mouth to speak but Logan held a hand up and pointed to Virgil. Oh thank God he figured it out. Janus rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut. Logan tried to tug his arm back one more time but Virgil refused to relinquish his grip as he hissed at Logan again. Logan looked at him fearfully before he jerked his head and they began walking again. Virgil knew he was slowing them down because of the way he was clinging to his boyfriend but he didn’t care. His survival instincts had taken over.

No one said a word the entire half hour it took them to get back to the car. Virgil had hoped once they reached the car, without as many energies, he would be freed from the survival shut down, but of course that did not happen, as he was still drained, in pain, the pain meds had worn off, and he was in the car with more magic.

The entire car ride back was silent and Virgil didn’t loosen his grip on Logan once. Janus was driving and Logan and Virgil were in the back seat again. Janus opened his mouth a few times and received a glare from Logan to shut him up. One time Logan even used his abilities to forcefully shut Janus's mouth. The extra energy made Virgil tense up slightly in the moment, but he resisted the urge to hiss at Logan because he knew he was just trying to help.

Finally they pulled back up to the hotel they were staying at. Logan looked down at Virgil and bit his lip. Eventually he began to attempt to get out of the car. Virgil hissed at him as he tried to move but also carefully moved with him, turning to hiss at his own shoulder when it objected. Janus was laughing again and Logan snickered but they still didn't speak as Logan had to basically drag Virgil inside.

Once they were inside Logan sat them both down on the couch and Janus set Virgil’s bag down beside them. Virgil climbed partially into Logan and continued to cling to him for dear life. Virgil noticed the others weren’t there and in that moment decided that God was most definitely not real, not that he ever thought he was. Damn it why wasn’t Roman here!?

It had been about ten minutes when the others finally showed up. Virgil looked up, ready to hiss at the sound of the door opening, but saw that it was Roman and instead just narrowed his eyes at him. Roman looked at Virgil, clearly slightly confused, but Virgil saw the moment his boyfriend realized what was happening. His gaze turned to Logan, and before Roman could even speak, Logan spoke.

“I have no idea,” Logan said with a sigh. “I’m not sure why he is like this, and he hisses whenever I attempt to ask.”

“Kiddo, do you need more pain meds?” Patton asked. Virgil would normally hiss at the sound, but Patton had the pain meds. Patton could help, therefore, Virgil would not scare him away. So instead he just narrowed his eyes at his younger brother, hoping Roman would understand.

“His battery’s drained,” Roman told the others. Thank God he had finally shown up, he could translate and Virgil could actually get what he needed to start functioning again. “He’s not gonna talk, but he basically speaks another language. So that’s a yes.”

Patton looked at Roman with a confused and surprised expression before speaking. “Okay, I’ll go get you some, I’ll be right back kiddo.” Virgil watched closely as Patton went over to the bag to dig out the first aid kit, making sure the younger boy was fulfilling his wordless request.

“What’d you guys do?” Roman spoke up while Patton was still looking through the bag. Virgil turned his gaze back to his boyfriend, annoyed he was trying to talk but not hissing because he knew this was the only way Roman could figure out what Virgil needed.

“We didn’t do anything!” Janus objected before pausing. “Did we?”

“Virgil did they do something?” Roman asked Virgil this time. Okay, Roman knew better than to talk to Virgil, come on! It wasn’t as if he could answer his question even if he wanted to. But he’d try. He hissed at Roman for speaking to him, but then glanced at Logan out of the corner of his eye, trying to explain that Logan was the breaking point.

“Logan what did you do?” Roman said, turning his gaze to Logan accusingly. 

“Damn, I knew you knew how to read cat Virgil but this is pretty fucking impressive.” Remus spoke up as he grabbed a chair and sat down in it backwards, seeming very interested in watching what was going on.

“Got the pain meds!” Patton declared. Oh thank fucking God. “I’ll grab water then they’ll be ready for you, okay kiddo?” Virgil narrowed his eyes at Patton. Duh, of course it was okay with him, how else was he supposed to take the pain meds? Patton glanced at Roman nervously for translation.

“That’s the okay,” Roman told Patton without even looking away from Logan. Patton quickly went to the kitchen to begin filling a glass of water. “Logan are you sure you didn’t do anything?”

“He was acting irritable for most of the journey,” Logan explained. “Then suddenly he had fastened himself to my arm and would only communicate in hisses.”

“What were you doing when this happened?” Roman asked, crossing his arms.

“I had gone to inspect a tree in order to ascertain if it was the wood we require.” Logan seemed so desperate and confused when he spoke, it would almost be funny if Virgil wasn’t fighting the urge to murder every one of them so he could get a quiet room again for ten seconds!

Patton returned with the pain meds and water but hesitated. Reasonably so, honestly. Virgil wasn’t even sure it was safe for Patton to get too close to him right now, even though he loved his little brother.

“Yeah Lo you may want to levitate those over,” Roman advised. Virgil wasn’t sure that was the best idea in his state, but he didn’t have any better ideas. So, Logan levitated the pain meds and water to them and...it actually felt kinda nice again. Without the extra energies overwhelming him from the forest, he couldn’t help but notice how nice Logan’s abilities always felt when used right. He relaxed slightly into Logan as Logan reached out and grabbed the glass of water, leaving the pain meds in the air.

“Virgil dear you will have to release my arm,” Logan said. Yeah, hell no. Virgil hissed at his boyfriend again for even making the suggestion and did not budge.

“You gotta bargain with him,” Roman explained. Logan looked back and forth between Virgil and Roman, looking so confused and helpless “Virgil if you let go of Logan and take the pain meds he’ll let you sit in his lap.”

Virgil stared at Roman with narrowed eyes as he considered the offer. Moving would hurt, and also take away the thing that was grounding him. But if he didn’t move there was no chance the pain would go away. Plus, if he got to have his perch back… uhg, fine.

Virgil shifted slowly, wincing at the pain it caused in his shoulder. He took the pain meds Logan handed him quickly before slowly and painfully making his way onto Logan’s lap and clinging to him once more. There.

“There see?” Roman pointed at Virgil, looking very proud of himself.

“Exactly how long did it take you to learn to communicate with him like this?” Logan asked.

“Like years, honestly,” Roman shrugged. Yeah, it did take him a while, and those years were fucking torture, but at least he had finally figured it out. “You’d think I would be able to speak fluent Spanish, but nope. Just the basics. Meanwhile I have a degree in Cat Virgil.”

“So can we figure out what’s wrong?” Patton asked desperately. “I wanna help.”

“Usually there’s a beginning cause, a build up, then the trigger,” Roman explained. “Once you figure one out you can usually figure out the others. The trigger was something Logan did, and he was irritable before that. I’m thinking pain was part of it.”

Virgil watched Roman carefully as he spoke, not hissing, just watching him with narrowed eyes. He was on the right track, therefore he would not hiss, just watch Roman with his approving narrowed eyes.

“There was probably something else too,” Roman added. Virgil narrowed his eyes even more. Roman was good. “Maybe he was tired?”

Virgil let out an approving hiss at that, then turned his gaze to the couch, the culprit of his pain and lack of sufficient rest after the spell. 

“Wait what did the couch do?” Roman asked, and Virgil just stared at him, waiting for him to get it. “Oh, that probably messed up your shoulder, huh?”

Virgil gave yet another approving hiss as he let his head drop onto Logan’s shoulder. God, he was so tired.

“Lemme give it a shot,” Janus finally spoke. “He’s sore from sleeping on the couch and so he’s still tired from the spell yesterday?”

Virgil looked over at Janus, surprised. He hadn’t expected his older brother to figure him out this well and this quickly. Virgil gave an affirmative hiss, some of his surprise coming through in the sound as well.

“I don’t know what that means,” Janus sighed. So maybe he wasn’t all that fluent in Cat Virgil yet, but still, he was pretty good all things considered.

“That’s an unexpected yes,” Roman explained.

“Of course it is,” Janus groaned in annoyance. “Who the fuck let him cast a spell and then sleep on the couch?”

“You did,” Logan pointed out.

“Not the point Logan!”

Okay, if everyone could please stop arguing over whose fault it was and just shut up so Virgil could sleep it off, that would be fucking brilliant.

“Okay, but these are all solvable problems,” Patton cut in. “We gave him pain meds, we can let him sleep some more. But we still don’t know what the trigger was.”

Thank you Patton. 

“Well we know Logan did it,” Roman said. “And it probably had something to do with pain in some way.”

“I did not hurt him!” Logan protested.

Well no shit Sherlock. No one said you did. Virgil didn’t blame Logan, it wasn’t his fault. His abilities hurt him, but Logan just happened to trigger it.

“Virgil what did he do?” Roman asked.

Virgil let out an annoyed hiss as he tried to figure out how to get Roman to understand. Janus was close enough that he didn’t feel the tugging, but there was still a small amount of distance. Virgil glared at that distance accusingly then back at Logan, hoping Roman would understand so he could go sleep.

“Okay but why Janus?” Roman wondered, before seeming to realize what Virgil was trying to say. “He got too far away, didn’t he?”

Fucking finally. Virgil sighed, not bothering to reply as he let his head fall back onto Logan’s chest. He took a deep breath, trying to relax himself. He hated feeling like this. He hated when this happened, he hated feeling this overwhelmed, he hated all of it. 

“All that’s left now is to wait it out,” Roman sighed. “So I guess just send him to bed.”

Virgil tightened his grip on Logan and hissed loudly. No way he was letting them separate him from Logan right now. No. Fucking. Way. 

“Oh relax, Logan can go with you,” Roman replied, and Virgil let his head rest on Logan once more. “Do you want anyone else or just Logan?”

Virgil hesitated, feeling very embarrassed by the fact that all of this was happening, but he knew if he wanted it to stop soon he would have to admit to what he needed, so he glanced at Janus and the bag where his spell was kept, the two other sources of discomfort with his abilities.

“Alright hun,” Roman nodded before translating everything Virgil needed. “Alright you heard the cat person. Logan, Janus, take him to bed, take the scroll with you, set it by the bed. Me and Remus can get started on the amber and Patton you can help or do whatever you want, up to you.”

“I’ll help!” Patton replied excitedly before turning to Virgil. “Feel better kiddo!” Virgil glared at Patton through narrowed eyes as he spoke to him, but elected not to hiss as he had provided the pain meds, and he was just such a sweet, innocent, little brother, he couldn’t bring himself to hiss at him. He noticed the offended look on Roman’s face at this but didn’t even bother to acknowledge it. Logan picked Virgil up and turned to the others.

“I suppose we shall see you all in a few hours,” Logan said before turning and carrying Virgil into the bedroom. Virgil tensed as the tugging to Janus and the backpack returned. Logan sat down on the bed with Virgil still in his arms and looked at Virgil nervously. “Can I help you remove your sling?”

Virgil narrowed his eyes at Logan. He knew he probably should, even if the support gave less pain, but he had already slept in it once and he knew he needed to give his shoulder a break, so he didn’t give any hisses to object. Logan hesitated and slowly used one hand to untie the knot behind Virgil’s head and pull the fabric away, dropping it on the floor. Janus came in with Virgil’s bag and Virgil narrowed his eyes at his brother, looking between him and the bed.

“Does that mean ‘sit the fuck down’?” Janus asked with a smirk.

Virgil hissed at him, annoyed. Of course that was what it fucking meant! He didn’t actually have to talk to confirm it, it wasn’t that hard!

“Alright, alright I’m coming,” Janus laughed. 

He came over and set the bag on the floor right next to the bed so he could sit next to Logan and Virgil. Virgil used his right arm to push at Janus until he was laying down on the bed, then kicked off his shoes and used his feet to do the same with Logan. Janus was laughing the entire time and Logan was even smiling a little, but they followed Virgil’s nonverbal orders.

Virgil shifted so he was still laying on top of Logan but so he could cling to Janus. He used both arms this time and had to pause a couple times in his process of getting comfortable to hiss at his offending shoulder. He looked over and saw Janus putting away his phone subtly and Virgil narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. He would have to figure out what that was later.

Once Virgil was comfortable he glared at both of the boys he was cuddling, making it clear that they were not to leave. Janus held up his hands in surrender and Logan tightened his grip on Virgil, both of them knowing not to speak. Virgil gave a small nod, the most clear communication he had given in hours, and laid his head back onto Logan’s chest, falling asleep almost instantly.

When Virgil woke up, he quickly remembered what had happened and groaned as he loosened his grip on Janus. He had really done that. He had actually hissed at all of them. Oh God, why had he let that happen!? Janus groaned as well as he slowly blinked his eyes open to look at Virgil.

“Are you gonna hiss at me?” Janus muttered.

Virgil considered, just for a moment, hissing at Janus even though he could speak now, because Janus had been very annoying the day before, and he deserved it. But, alas, Virgil’s embarrassment got the better of him.

“No,” Virgil mumbled reluctantly.

“Oh my God you spoke,” Janus said with a grin and pumped his fist in the air triumphantly.

“Shut up about it,” Virgil muttered, grabbing a pillow and putting it over his head in embarrassment.

“Absolutely not I’m talking about it at your wedding,” Janus declared. But even with all his sass he did uncover Virgil’s head gently and brush his bangs out of his eyes.

Virgil glared at him and sat up, scooting slowly off of his boyfriend so as to not wake him. His shoulder protested as, once again, he had let his pain meds wear off, but he was in a much better mindset to deal with it than earlier, so instead of hissing at his shoulder like a dumbass he just winced. Janus sat up too, leaning against the headboard as he waited to see what Virgil would do. Virgil glanced at his sling for a moment, but didn’t grab it. He had worn it for so long, he knew he had to let his shoulder move for a bit, even if it hurt, so instead he just pushed himself out of the bed reluctantly.

He got up and made his way out of the room. The tugging to Logan, Janus, and the scroll returned, but once again, he was feeling better and was much more equipped to tolerate the pain it caused. He was on his way over to the pain meds when he heard Logan making an offended noise back in the bedroom followed by a grunt from Janus and Virgil just rolled his eyes fondly.

Virgil looked back to the living room to see Remus draped over the couch dramatically with Patton on the floor giggling. Meanwhile Roman was sitting on the arm of the couch with his face in his hands, his cheeks so pink Virgil could tell from across the room, even with his dark skin.

Virgil looked back at Remus, the grin on his face as he finished whatever story he was telling, Patton giggling happily on the floor, and thought back to his conversation with Roman a few nights before. He knew Roman had talked to Remus, and they had seemed so happy since then, Virgil was glad. He just hadn’t brought himself to do it yet. He was still angry that he would never get a chance to show his birth parents the person he had grown up to be, and that they would never get a chance to see the cult fall. But he knew Remus was protecting Roman, and he couldn’t blame him for that. So, he’d talk to him soon. He had to, not only for himself and his ability to move on, but for Remus and Roman.

Virgil pushed those thoughts from his mind as he went on his search for the pain meds, which were actually still sitting out from the night before. Virgil tossed the bottle to Remus for him to open them without thinking, but the look on Remus’s face kept any regret Virgil may have felt at bay, because he just looked so hopeful and happy. Roman was grinning now, having moved his hands despite his still blushing face, and Virgil gave him a small smile in return. Remus opened the bottle and grabbed two pills before handing them to Virgil. Virgil took them without saying anything and Janus and Logan walked into the room, Janus making a beeline for Patton. Logan on the other hand silently walked up to Roman and wordlessly yanked his arm so Roman fell onto the ground with a squeak. He gave Roman a moment to get situated before climbing into his lap and closing his eyes. Janus dragged Patton to the bedroom without saying anything and Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle at the whole scene.

Virgil glanced at the couch that Remus was still laying across, trying to determine if there was any way he could sit on it without being on top of Remus. Remus noticed him looking and quickly moved his legs and sat up, making space for Virgil to sit as well. Virgil gave him a grateful smile and Remus was absolutely beaming as Virgil sat down.

Suddenly, Virgil heard an eardrum-bursting squeal from the bedroom.

“OH MY GOSH HE CALLED YOU BUBBY!?” Patton practically screamed. 

Oh God. Of course he told Patton. Virgil buried his face in his hands as Remus looked at Virgil with an amused expression.

“Wait who called who what now?” Roman asked, snapping his fingers next to his ear until Logan batted at them so he stopped. “I may have heard that wrong, it was really high-pitched.”

Virgil didn’t say anything as Remus started cackling beside him. Remus glanced at Virgil and Virgil glared at him. Remus kept his mouth shut.

“Virgil called Janus ‘Bubby’,” Logan answered with a yawn. He didn’t say anything else, apparently finished with his brief moment of wakefulness. Damn it, Virgil thought Logan was too sleepy to call him out! Virgil buried his face in his hands.

“Okay that is cute as shit,” Roman said. “And Patton apparently agrees.”

At that moment, Patton and Janus returned, Patton first with a huge grin on his face. Meanwhile Janus looked like he was trying to decide between killing Patton or himself.

“You told Patton!?” Virgil asked accusingly the moment they walked in.

“I didn’t know he was gonna do that!” Janus protested defensively.

“Of course you knew, Patton always does that shit,” Virgil pointed out.

“I got excited!” Patton cut in, grin still just as big. “It’s so cute!”

“It is pretty cute,” Janus agreed with a shrug.

“I hate all of you,” Virgil muttered, curling up into an embarrassed ball. He heard Remus chuckle even more at this, and looked up at the other boy. “Shut up, Remus.”

Remus’s eyes widened and he thought he saw tears in them but Virgil looked away before he could be sure, hiding his pink face once more.

“Okay kiddos let's stop teasing Virgil before he starts hissing at us again,” Patton said. “Also, we need to get packed and get on the road today, so everyone grab a snack and coffee then let's get moving. Also, we should probably take extra breaks for Virgil’s shoulder… also to avoid hissing.”

Logan groaned and tightened his grip on Roman, not even opening his eyes. Virgil chuckled but got up as everyone (except Logan and Roman) got moving. They grabbed the coffee and Virgil brought a cup to Logan before helping pack the cars. Logan and Roman came out eventually, Logan looking like his usual self but without the precise movements he usually had that said he was fully awake. Patton dished out car arrangements, putting Roman with Logan and Virgil. He checked to make sure Virgil would be okay away from Janus, but Virgil was doing a lot better today so he was sure it would not be a problem. Patton helped Virgil put the sling back on, saying he had kept it off long enough, which Virgil was grateful for, before each trio got in a car and they set off.

Patton told them to stop every two hours so Virgil could move. At these stops they often just pulled over and sent Virgil off on a walk with one of the others, while everyone else normally waited by the cars. Normally Virgil picked Logan because he loved him and the tether, sometimes he picked the others though because he enjoyed spending time with all of them. However, Virgil surprised everyone when, at their third stop, he picked Remus.

“Can Remus walk with me this time?” Virgil asked once they were pulled over and all out of the cars. Virgil wasn’t sure how he was going to do this and he was nervous out of his mind, but if he didn’t get over himself and do it soon, he knew he never would. He had to forgive Remus, or at the very least start to work on it.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea kiddo…?” Patton asked hesitantly, glancing between Remus and Virgil nervously.

“Yes Patton,” Virgil sighed. “I promise not to kill him.”

Virgil tried to ignore the near glare Logan was giving him as he looked at Remus. Remus was looking at Virgil questioningly, his eyes a mix of fear and hope, but he didn’t move. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“You comin or not?” Virgil asked.

“I’m coming!” Remus said quickly as he walked over to Virgil. Virgil didn’t wait for him to catch up, as he knew he walked slow with his shoulder anyways, so he just turned and began walking down the road, away from the cars.

Virgil knew he needed to do this. Not only for his own sanity, but for Roman, who was so happy having his twin back, and for Remus, who Virgil knew Roman couldn’t live without. He was just so conflicted. He was so angry that he would never really get to know his birth parents, but he couldn’t blame Remus for wanting to protect his twin, the person that Virgil loved so much.

They had walked about five minutes in complete silence when Virgil finally spoke.

“I’m not gonna lie,” Virgil started. “I’m pissed off at you.”

Virgil stopped and took a deep breath. He had to do this right, and starting with telling Remus he was angry… well, probably not the best way to start forgiving someone.

“That’s fair,” Remus muttered before Virgil could collect his thoughts again. “I mean, I did fucking murder your parents.”

“But you saved Roman,” Virgil said before he could stop himself. 

Wait, but this was good. This was how he actually should have started. The reason he is forgiving Remus, not the reason he’s pissed at him. He still felt he had a right to explain himself in his anger and loss, but he couldn’t start with that, or else Remus would just assume the worst and start to pull away. And if he did that… well, Virgil might let him. And he couldn’t do that. He had to do this, he had to go through with this conversation and forgive Remus as best he could.

“Yeah, but I hurt you in the process,” Remus sighed. “Sure, I may have had an okay reason, but that doesn’t make what I did okay. It was wrong and it hurt you and I’m so sorry Virgil. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know,” Virgil sighed. “I know you’re sorry, so you don’t have to keep saying it. Because, well…”

Virgil paused. This was it, he was going to do this, because he had to. Because he needed to. This was the right thing to do, right? Virgil looked up at the sky as if it would hold the answers. He took a moment to watch a cloud blow over them then disappear behind another cloud. He could do this. He could let his anger blow over and move on. Or at least, he was willing to try.

“Because I’m trying to forgive you.” Virgil finished, still looking up at the clouds. 

“You are?” Remus asked, sounding shocked. “I literally fucking _murdered_ your parents then lied about it for weeks and you want to try and forgive me? Why?”

“You did it for Roman,” Virgil gave a one shoulder shrug. “And I love Roman so, so much. And he loves you. I can’t let my anger tear you guys apart, and I just… I can’t wish you hadn’t done it. I’m upset that you did it, but I can’t wish for it to have gone differently because… well, because then I wouldn’t have Roman. And I can’t carry around that anger with me forever. So, I have to try. I have to try to let it go.”

Virgil looked at Remus when he was finished to see tears in the older boy’s eyes, but he looked so, so happy, and so relieved. 

“Thank you,” Remus said quietly. “Thank you for… for understanding. Even if you’re angry.”

“Believe it or not I’m not just a heartless dark emo,” Virgil scoffed. “But it still may take me a bit to move on. I understand but you still… you still took something away from me. I’m never going to get to meet my birth parents again, as the person I am today and… I can’t just let go of that fact that easily. But I’m going to try.”

“You…” Remus started, looking at Virgil with confusion. “I know it’s not the same but… you do realize you _can_ talk to them, right? Like, you can meet them again. You don’t have to give up on that.”

Um, what? Okay, now Virgil was worried for Remus’s mental health. Like, he knew from Roman that he had problems, but he did realize that you can’t talk to dead people, right? And as the person that killed his parents, Remus should no more than anyone that his parents are dead. So what the hell was he talking about?

“What are you talking about?” Virgil asked, actually laughing a little in his confusion. “You do realize I can’t talk to dead people, right?”

Remus just looked at Virgil in surprise and confusion.

“Um, but you can talk to dead people?” Remus said, though it sounded more like a question.

“Okay what the hell are you fucking talking about!?” Virgil asked, finally stopping in his walking to stare at Remus in confusion. What did he mean, Virgil can talk to dead people? He knew he could talk to demons and sense magical energy, but that was it, right? Because damn it if there was more...well, it would let him talk to his parents, yeah, but also he just wasn’t sure that he could deal with more at this point.

“Your abilities,” Remus said simply.

“Let me talk to demons and sense magical energy,” Virgil finished.

“Let you talk to demons and shit,” Remus corrected. “That is what I said, right?”

Virgil tried to think back to that day in the airport. He had been so freaked out and in pain with his concussion and Logan’s panic attack and his own panic attack and… quite honestly, he couldn’t remember.

“I can’t remember,” Virgil admitted. 

“Well, then remember now,” Remus kneeled down slightly to be on Virgil’s eye level. “You can talk to demons _and shit_. That last part includes basically all magical beings, including ghosts. You can talk to ghosts, Virgil.”

Well fuck. That was just great. Just one more fucking thing to add to the fucking list. He can talk to his birth parents, and also any dead person in fucking history. And other magical beings? Like what, fucking poltergeists or fairies!? Did fairies even fucking exist!? He had to ask Logan. Fuck he’d have to ask Logan a lot of shit about what ‘magical beings’ there are to figure out what the fuck he can talk to.

“V, you okay?” Remus cut into Virgil’s thoughts.

“Yep, I’m fucking brilliant,” Virgil sighed. “Whatever, my fault for not listening the first time you told me this shit. Anyways, I’m working on forgiving you, and at some point when my brain processes this shit you’re showing me how to find my parents ghosts.”

“Of course,” Remus nodded. “I will do absolutely anything to help regain your trust and earn your forgiveness Virgil. I mean it.”

Virgil nodded and then turned to start walking back to the car, but was stopped when Remus placed a hand on his good shoulder.

“Virgil,” Remus started then hesitated. “How is Logan?”

Virgil paused. He knew Remus cared, but he also knew he didn’t have a right to tell Remus Logan’s personal feelings. But he also wasn’t going to lie. So he’d only tell him things that he could probably pick up on on his own.

“Not great,” Virgil admitted. “He’s calling his abilities ‘powers’ again and he just… hasn’t been the same since he found out that you lied to him. I think he misses you but um… don’t push him, okay? He needs space from you I just… I hope he comes back to you eventually Remus. I may not have fully forgiven you but… I'm rooting for you here.”

Remus nodded and Virgil pretended not to see him wiping tears off his face as they began to walk back to the car for real this time. They were about halfway back when Remus broke the silence.

“So, is there anything you want to ask me about…” Remus trailed off, but Virgil knew what he was offering. He was willing to tell Virgil anything he wanted to know about his parents, the cult, what Remus did. Part of him was morbidly curious but another part of him just… didn’t want to know.

“Not right now,” Virgil replied. “But um… maybe at some point.”

Remus nodded, clearly relieved, and there were another few moments of tense silence before Virgil broke it this time.

“So by magical beings…” Virgil started. He knew he could ask Logan this but Remus was right here, and what was the point of saying he was going to try to forgive if he didn’t even put in the effort to carry a conversation with the older twin. “What all does that mean? What other things are there that I can communicate with? Other than ghosts and demons.”

“Well,” Remus started with a grin. “You know about demons, which are basically monsters from another dimension. On the other end we have fairies, so you could also talk to them. Along the same line of ghosts there are poltergeists. There are also basilisks which are basically harmless, along with bowtruckles, mermaids, nymphs, phoenixes, pegasi, unicorns, hippogriffs, hippocampi, kappas, kelpies, skinwalkers and nifflers.”

Okay, that was a lot. Virgil knew he was going to be overwhelmed by all of this information later, but for now he tried to cling to something.

“Oh my God, nifflers!?” Virgil asked excitedly. “Oh my God those are so cute I’ve seen pictures! Can we find one?”

“Yeah okay,” Remus chuckled. “Oh, shit, I forgot. Bigfoot’s real too.”

“WHAT!?” Virgil yelled in shock. “I CAN TALK TO FUCKING BIGFOOT!?”

Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t be yelling in the middle of nowhere when there was a horribly murder cult and a demon after them, but you know what, in this moment, Virgil didn’t care.

“Yes,” Remus said, now fully laughing. “Not sure you’ll ever get to considering he is one creature in the entire world, but yes, you do have that ability, and yes, he is real.”

“Imma be honest normally I’d be so fucking overwhelmed by all this shit but I’m so stuck on bigfoot and nifflers I don’t even have the brain power left to be overwhlmed.” It was Virgil’s turn to be laughing now, and even though the cars were within sight he had to take a moment to catch his breath. “I really missed a lot with that ‘and shit’ I guess.”

They finally made it back to the cars to see a scene that Virgil was not expecting. Roman and Janus were laughing their asses off, and Patton was bouncing on his toes like he had just heard the most exciting news ever. Meanwhile, Logan was just leaning against his car, facepalming.

“Oh my gosh kiddo did we hear you say bigfoot is real!?” Patton squealed in excitement. Oh shit, they heard that.

“Um, yeah,” Virgil shrugged with one shoulder, embarrassed not for the first time today. 

“Of course bigfoot is real,” Logan sighed. “I move objects with my mind and eject my soul out of my body into the minds of others yet you all are surprised by bigfoot?”

“Look, I am just surprised that I can apparently talk to bigfoot, fairies, basilisks, ghosts, bowtruckles, mermaids, pegasi, phoenixes, nifflers and a ton of other shit I can’t even remember,” Virgil muttered.

“NIFFLERS ARE REAL!?” Patton suddenly exclaimed before anyone else could say anything. “JJ CAN WE GET A NIFFLER!?”

“You know what?” Janus shrugged. “You take care of it then sure, if we find a fucking niffler then you can keep it.”

“Yay!!” Patton squealed. “And Virgy can translate for me!”

Virgil didn’t reply, just glanced down at his feet and rocked anxiously. He didn’t exactly have a problem with the idea, but he was still processing, and he was a bit overwhelmed by all of this new information. Especially the idea that he could talk to his birth parents. It was just a lot at once.

“Let’s hold off on that last part,” Janus laughed. “We gotta find one first and we are not pausing saving the world to go on a quest to find a fucking niffler. Maybe once we get all the ingredients or something.”

“Yes we can do it while Virgil finishes healing!” Patton decided. “I’m gonna name it Dorothy!”

“Of course you are,” Logan groaned, his face still in his hand.

“I fucking love it,” Roman commented.

“Yay!” Patton said excitedly. “I can’t wait! I’m gonna get a niffler!”

“And apparently I’m gonna be hired as a translator,” Virgil chuckled, finding Patton too cute to be overwhelmed right now.

“We should keep moving,” Logan pointed out, despite the fact that he was smiling too.

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed. “But you,” Virgil pointed at Remus, “Are giving me a fucking list of all the shit I can talk to and you,” Virgil turned to Logan this time, “Are helping me figure out how to find a niffler.”

“I…” Logan sighed too. “Fine.”

“Thank you thank you thank you!” Patton squealed. “JJ Toto can have a friend!”

“Bitch I’m getting a basilisk,” Janus scoffed. “Also Toto is a strong independent snake who don’t need no niffler.”

“If you guys both get magical creatures that I translate for you then I get a fucking phoenix,” Virgil grumbled as he made his way back to the car.

“There is a phoenix in the Yellowstone area so we could encounter one,” Logan told them. “If it likes you, I do not see why it could not accompany us.”

“Wait fucking seriously?” Virgil asked. He wasn’t sure why they needed to go to Yellowstone, but if it got him a phoenix he wasn’t going to complain. “That was like kinda a joke but HELL YES!”

“Wait why are we going to Yellowstone?” Roman asked.

“For the huckleberries,” Logan answered.

Oh. Well then. Virgil had thought they could just get those at a grocery store but… he had been embarrassed enough in the past 24 hours, so he was not about to admit that.

“We have to go to fucking, what, _Wyoming_ for that shit?” Janus groaned. “I thought we could just raid the produce section of fucking Walmart or something.” 

Well, at least Virgil wasn’t the only one who had thought that. Though it was kind of his job to know this shit...nope, not going down that though spiral again. Nifflers Virgil, think of nifflers, and your phoenix. No spiral, only phoenix.

“No they only grow in the northwest,” Logan said. 

“Well if we gotta go to Yellowstone too we should really get moving,” Roman sighed.

“Yeah, okay kiddos,” Patton said, stepping back up as the unspoken leader. “Same car arrangements as before, we’ll stop again in two hours.”

And with that, everyone got back into their respective cars. Virgil flopped into his seat, content to spend the next two hours googling every mythical creature Remus mentioned and trying to gain facts so his brain wouldn’t be able to spiral by jumping to conclusions. He was just googling Kappa because he had no clue what the fuck those were when Logan spoke.

“Virgil you can ask me questions if you’d like,” Logan offered. “I would have offered to explain earlier, except I did not know you could communicate with all manners of creatures.”

“Yeah, neither did I,” Virgil sighed and let his head fall back onto the seat. “I know it doesn’t really make that big of a difference but, I just, damn it! Every time I get used to one thing it seems like another thing is thrown on me! I get used to my abilities and there’s a demon and twelve years of memories I didn’t know I had, I finally adjust to that knowledge and my parents were murdered, I’m finally starting to accept that and I can talk to a bunch of other creatures and apparently still talk to my parents!?”

“Now you understand how I feel,” Logan muttered before wincing as he realized what he said. Well shit, now Virgil was being an unsympathetic jerk. “Apologies, that’s entirely understandable. I can attempt to answer any questions you have.”

“No I’m sorry,” Virgil said. “I shouldn’t have said all of that. I’m just overreacting, you’ve got it way worse than me right now I shouldn’t be freaking out over this little shit. But yeah, if you’re up for it, what shit is there that I can talk to? Apparently I can talk to all of it, so just give me the whole fucking speil I guess.”

“I probably should have figured it out,” Logan laughed self-deprecatingly. “But it seems your connection to magic extends to creatures with magic within them, what most people consider to be mythical.”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Roman cut in. “But if either of you make another self-deprecating comment I’m gonna hit you.”

“Says you you fucking hypocrit,” Virgil retorted. “But Logan, none of us figured it out. I’m the one with the damn abilities, if anyone should have figured it out it should have been me. But honestly if I learned this all at once I probably would have flipped out even more, so it’s probably good it took a while. Anyways, continue on the speil.”

“Well I’m not sure what Re-,” Logan paused and took a breath. “I’m not sure what he told you already.”

“Basically he just gave me a whole fucking list,” Virgil replied. If he told Remus not to push, he wasn’t going to either. He just hoped Logan would talk to someone at some point when he was awake enough to remember it. “He told me there are demons obviously, then fairies, basilisks, bowtruckles, um…” Virgil hesitated, trying to remember everything Remus named. “Nymphs, unicorns, pegasi, mermaids, obviously phoenixes and nifflers, then kappas, kelpies, skinwalkers, hippogriffs, hippocampi, poltergeists, bigfoot and…” Whelp this was the big one. “Ghosts. And I do not want to talk about what that implies right now. As for the list, I’m gonna admit, I don’t even know what all those things are so...”

“Which do you not understand?”

“More than I’d like to admit,” Virgil sighed. “Um, I don’t know what kappa are, or kelpie, skinwalkers, hippocampi, I’m not really sure about nymphs, and you said basilisks are different here than in Harry Potter, so I’m not sure about those either. And then if any of the others are different from Harry Potter or basic fairy tales then I don’t know shit basically.”

“Everything else is rather similar to the common myths,” Logan began. “Though sadly phoenixes do not have healing tears.”

“Well that fucking sucks, I wanted it to heal my shoulder,” Virgil groaned dramatically. “Whatever, at least they are still reborn in ashes and shit, right?”

Thankfully, the answer to that question was yes. From there, Logan spent the rest of the two hour driving spurt explaining everything Virgil needed to know about these creatures. Which to avoid, what they do, any differences from common myths. Virgil listened intently the whole time, though he knew he would likely forget a lot of it, but Logan assured him he could get Virgil a book if he so desired. Once they stopped again Logan and Roman switched drivers again and the rest of the stop and go drive to Ohio was fairly normal. They had to stop at a small motel to spend the night, but finally, they arrived at Ohio the next afternoon.

They had barely been in the hotel long enough for Virgil to grab more pain meds when he was back in the car with Logan once more, heading to a park to get buckeye wood for Virgil’s talismans. Virgil decided to spend the drive mentally tallying all the information he had recently learned about magical creatures instead of attempting to tackle the emotional weight of his brother having been kidnapped, his other brother having been tortured and his own ability to apparently speak to his dead parents. Also, he really didn’t want to think about the fact that he had hissed at everyone. That was just embarrassing. 

Suddenly, Virgil’s mental fact run through was interrupted by Logan.

“Virgil could I ask you something?” Logan asked, not looking away from the road.

“Sure,” Virgil shrugged, a little confused. “Ask away.”

“Why did you seem so interested in hearing about Remy and Emile?” Logan said.

Really? That was an odd question. Of course Virgil wanted to know about them. They were the people who helped raise his boyfriend, he wanted to hear about them!

“Because I care about you and want to know about your life outside of the apocalypse,” Virgil replied matter-of-factly.

“Then why ask about them rather than my parents?” Logan continued to question. “It seems a bit of an odd subject.”

Oh. Right, Remy and Emile weren’t his parents. That was why Logan was confused. Virgil wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that. He didn’t want to just tell Logan his parents were shit and every time Virgil heard more about them he was closer and closer to murdering them in fire, so he decided to try and be gentle with his reason without lying.

“Well talking about your parents can get a bit… depressing,” Virgil said hesitantly. “They seemed to care about you but they don’t exactly seem like the type of parents that you have any fun stories to tell about or anything.” Virgil chose his words very carefully, not wanting to start an argument or anything but also wanting to keep his promise of being honest with his boyfriend. “I dunno, maybe I’m wrong, but you also seem to really care about Remy and Emile, therefore I care about them too.”

“Wait, what do you mean about my parents,” Logan asked. Uhg, why did he keep pushing! Virgil was trying not to be rude!

“They just…” Virgil sighed. He really didn’t want to get into this. “Look, I’m not sure you really want to hear my opinion on this, I’m gonna be honest, so why don’t you just drop it for now, okay?”

“No, if you have something to say, please say it.”

“Look I don’t think they were the worst parents,” Virgil began slowly. Uhg, why wouldn't Logan just let this drop!? Virgil felt even worse about it when he noticed Logan’s grip on the steering wheel tighten and his abilities beginning to flare up. But he had to be honest. “But considering they trained you to suppress your emotions and basically cut you off from the world to study magic I just… I’m not their biggest fan. But you care about them and I know that, so I’m not gonna try to convince you otherwise.”

“No, my isolation was my fault,” Logan denied, shaking his head. The fuck? “We were only isolated as to prevent me from harming someone with my powers when I lost control and to ensure I was not discovered. They were only protecting others from me.”

“Oh my God they really convinced you of that,” Virgil grumbled to himself. Logan’s own fucking parents had drilled this horrible self blame into him that he had to live with every day. It was bullshit! “Logan, obviously that wasn’t your fault. Not only was that probably partially because they were in a fucking cult, but also it probably made it even harder for you to learn control of your abilities because you never got real world experience. That isolation was their doing, not yours.” 

Virgil paused and sighed. He didn’t want to be mean about it either though, no matter how mad he was. They were Logan’s parents after all. “Look, I’m not saying they didn’t care about you, because clearly they did, it’s just from my perspective they… they just don’t seem like great parents to me. But again, that’s my opinion and you probably didn’t even want to hear it, so I’ll just shut up now.”

“No I did ask,” Logan grumbled, though Virgil still felt like he really hadn’t had to answer. He felt Logan’s abilities continue to slowly build, just a little, but still some, and searched desperately for something to distract his boyfriend.

“Why don’t you tell me more about Remy and Emile?” Virgil suggested. Maybe that wasn’t the best idea though, considering him asking Logan about them had started this whole thing. “Or the tree we’re looking for, because I, once again, have no clue what it looks like.”

“A buckeye tree has gray bark and is normally much thinner around than most trees,” Logan started to explain. Virgil noticed him flexing the knuckles on his left hand, the one he had used to punch a wall, and unbuckled his seat belt to hold it. It was awkward because he had to reach his right hand over both their bodies to grab Logan’s left one, but he didn’t mind. Anything to help make Logan feel better. Logan squeezed Virgil’s hand gratefully, and Virgill allowed himself a small smile. “The leaves are rather unique, almost resembling a flower as it is actually five long, narrow leaves sprouting outward from a central point.”

“Well that shouldn’t be hard to recognize,” Virgil realized. “Plus, we’re in fucking Ohio, so I doubt it’ll be hard to find.”

“I suppose that is fair,” Logan said with the smallest of smiles. Yes, mission cheer up boyfriend was succeeding! Kind of. His grip was still extremely tight on Virgil’s hand though, and his abilities weren’t exactly being quiet, but at least it was something.

“Oh, hey, why don’t I drive back?” Virgil suggested this time. Logan was such a good teacher for Virgil, and helping Virgil drive would give him something else to focus on for a bit! “I’ve never driven with anyone other than Roman, but I bet you’d be a great instructor!”

“I’m not sure you would want me of all people to instruct you,” Logan replied. Okay, so maybe suggesting that wasn’t the best way to go. “But I can certainly make an attempt.”

“You have literally been teaching me shit for months,” Virgil pointed out. “And somehow I’ve learned more from you than in the entirety of my like… shit, however many years I’ve been in school. So like, if you can’t keep me from driving the car into a ditch then no one can.”

“I suppose,” Logan admitted, though he clearly didn’t believe it. Uhg, what else could Virgil bring up to help distract Logan? What had he been using to distract himself earlier...oh, right! Magical creatures! Perfect! Logan loved facts!

“Oh!” Virgil said when he realized this. “Do you think there will be any not evil magical creatures here? That way I can officially say I’ve talked to something other than a demon!”

“Let me think,” Logan considered. He seemed to actually be considering it for a moment, but then Virgil felt his abilities building up again and started squeezing Virgil’s hand even tighter and Virgil knew Logan was not thinking about magical creatures anymore.

“Logan?” Virgil said sternly, forcing Logan back to the present. “You okay?”

“Yes,” Logan replied forcefully after releasing Virgil’s hand. Well fuck.

“Okay, well I don’t have to be Janus to know that was a fucking lie,” Virgil sighed. “Look, I’m not gonna make you talk, but at least let me fucking help. Take my damn hand back I swear to God.”

“I was hurting you,” Logan refused. Well that just wasn’t true. Sure, his grip had been a bit uncomfortable, but it hadn’t hurt. “I’ll be alright.”

“Considering I didn’t notice any pain I’m gonna say you weren’t hurting me,” Virgil replied. “I know you don’t want to worry me, I’m the same way, but I’m just gonna worry more if you push me away and don’t let me help. So take. My. Fucking. Hand.”

Logan didn’t look at him, in fact his hand barely moved, but it did unfurl out of the fist he had it in. Virgil had to scoot even closer to the edge of his seat to reach, but he managed, and grabbed Logan’s hand once more. Thankfully, this time Logan didn’t let go.

“So, am I gonna get to talk to shit here or not?” Virgil asked, trying to bring them back to the distracting topics he had been desperately pulling out of his ass.

“Perhaps,” Logan said, and this time he didn’t seem to get as lost in his head as before as he thought it over. “There are not many creatures in this area of the midwest. Bowtruckles are present on nearly all trees and nymphs most likely will not reveal themselves without knowing we already know of their existence. This area does have the occasional hippogriff, though very rare, so it is highly unlikely we will encounter one.”

“Aw, a hippogriff would be so cool!” Virgil exclaimed excitedly. 

Just then they got to the parking lot, and Logan let go of Virgil’s hand to park. He’d take the hand back once they were out of the car.

“Let’s find this tree,” Logan said once the car was parked. 

“Yay, more crazy park energy,” Virgil muttered sarcastically. “I promise not to hiss at you this time.”

“That would be appreciated,” Logan agreed before opening the car door. Suddenly, Virgil saw him stop in his tracks and grab his shoulder. “Shit!”

“Are you okay?” Virgil spoke frantically. Shit, had Logan gotten hurt again and Virgil hadn’t realized? He did have a habit of hiding his injuries. Fuck, if Logan was hurt he defenitly shouldnt have been driving! “What happened to your shoulder!?”

Logan didn’t reply immediately, which told Virgil all he needed to know.

“You better not fucking lie to me Logan Valley,” Virgil said. “I can tell you’re thinking about it, but don’t you fucking dare. What the hell is going on?”

“It’s a stress wound,” Logan answered. “It flares up when I am under heavy stress, I’ll be alright.”

“Why your shoulder though?” Virgil continued, knowing Logan wasn’t telling the whole truth. 

“It’s…” Logan sighed. “It is where I was bit by the panther.”

The Panther...the...fuck. The one in his head. His own fucking anxiety. Damn it! Shit, because of him Logan had even more pain to deal with in his life and-

No. Don’t go there right now Virgil. Then Logan will feel even worse. Virgil took a deep breath and made sure not to let his face show how upset he was. He was really glad Logan was honest, so he’d focus on that.

“Thanks for being honest, I really do appreciate that.” Virgil said. “Now if you’re feeling okay to walk, let's go find that tree.”

“I’m fine,” Logan mumbled before he got out of the car. Virgil did the same, and the moment he stepped out of the car a small gasp escaped his mouth as he was abruptly reminded why his parents told the Tempests not to take him to parks.

Logan paused at the sign then began leading Virgil down a path. Virgil didn’t even look at the sign, he just trusted Logan to remember where they were going.

They walked for a few minutes in tense silence, Virgil just trying desperately to push thoughts of the panther out of his mind so he could help his boyfriend. Eventually, he convinced his brain that putting himself in emotional pain was not as important as helping Logan and managed to come up with a distracting conversation idea.

“So,” Virgil started. “You really want me to meet Remy and Emile?”

“Of course I do,” Logan replied. “You mean so much to me, just as they do. Emile will just be proud of me for making a friend honestly, even more so for making four and falling in love on top of it.”

While Virgil knew that would be the answer, it still made him so happy to hear. Happy, and nervous. What if they didn’t like him?

“You think they’ll like me?” Virgil asked, annoyed at the slight nervousness that bled into his voice.

“Remy may attempt to convince you to leave me thinking you’re too good for me,” Logan laughed and put his hands in his pockets. Shit, Virgil had forgotten to take back his hand earlier! “In a joking manner of course.”

“If anything it’s the other way around,” Virgil chuckled. “He sounds funny though.”

“His humor is almost similar to Janus’s,” Logan stopped as he thought. “I believe you would simply call him a bitch.”

Virgil was not ready for that, and the description surprised him into laughing so suddenly that he snorted and immediately threw his hand over his mouth in embarrassment. He felt his face go red as he realized the horrendous sound he had just made. Oh God he was such a disaster.

“You heard nothing,” Virgil decided. “And yeah, I definitely think I will like Remy.”

“Emile’s affinity for puns is the only reason I haven’t escaped from the group,” Logan admitted with a sigh. “I’ve built up an immunity.”

“New goal for after all of this,” Virgil declared. “Put you alone in a room with Emile and Patton and see who makes it out alive.”

“It will not be them,” Logan deadpanned.

Virgil couldn’t help the laughter that escaped him. Just a moment ago him and Logan had both been having such a hard time and now they were laughing and talking and if that wasn’t their relationship in a nutshell Virgil didn’t know what was. He leaned over as he laughed, unable to even stand up straight for a moment.

Finally he pulled himself together enough to stand up and this time when they started walking again he pulled Logan’s hand out of his pocket to hold. They walked in silence for a little bit again, but this time it wasn’t as tense or sad, it was just peaceful and enjoyable. But of course Virgil’s brain found a way to make him anxious in some way. Because...he could introduce Logan to his parents at some point. And, well, he wanted to. But would Logan want that? He would literally be introducing his boyfriend to ghosts, it would be a bit weird. He could always ask but...fuck it, no, he was going to ask.

“If you’d want maybe you could meet my parents after this?” Virgil offered before he could second guess himself. And Logan seemed to hesitate. Fuck.

“You want me to meet the Tempests?” Logan asked, sounding a little confused. Oh, okay, so no. But did he really want to force himself to ask again. Shit. Well, he’d already committed.

“No!” Virgil said, before realizing at some point that was a possibility and rephrasing. “Well, I mean, maybe them too at some point, I don’t know. But I… um… I was talking about my birth parents.”

Logan just blinked for a moment and Virgil seriously considered hiding behind a tree in embarrassment before suddenly Logan let out a delighted laugh.

“I would love that, Starlight,” Logan breathed.

“Really?” Virgil couldn’t help asking. He seemed so sure, did he realize what this would mean? His birth parents were literally dead. “I mean, it’ll probably be weird. They’ll know me as Angelo and I haven’t seen them in four years so I’d understand if that would be too complicated, plus you wouldn’t even be able to understand them-”

“Virgil,” Logan cut him off. “Would _you_ like me to meet your parents?”

“Yeah,” Virgil admitted quietly. “Once I get over my nervousness to meet them again, I definitely want you to meet them. If they’re anything like I remember, I think they’ll love you.”

And or course Logan didn’t seem to believe that because he was a depressed, self-deprecating person. Virgil couldn’t exactly judge considering who he was, but he was still going to call him out on his bull shit.

“Logically I know much better than you whether or not they will like you,” Virgil pointed out. “So quit doubting yourself. But again, you don’t have to meet them if you don’t want to. It would probably be a while anyways, cause I’m not sure I’m… I’m not sure when I’ll be ready.”

“You do have plenty of time,” Logan said. “I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Yeah, they’ll probably be pretty fucking surprised whenever I do talk to them, considering as far as they know I have no fucking clue who they are.” Virgil chuckled.

“Hello, I’m on my third name, have two boyfriends, one of which returned my memory with magic, and also two brothers. But other than that and me killing the demon you were trying to protect me from, nothing much has happened.”

Of course Virgil snorted again, but this time he didn’t even try to stop himself as he doubled over laughing. The funniest part was that it was all true and he’d actually have to tell his parents all of that. Virgil’s eyes were watering he was laughing so hard, and just as he began to calm down and catch his breath, he realized something else. Fuck. He was literally completing what his parents started. Oh God, he couldn’t decide if that just made it more stressful or more amazing. Both, he decided. It did both. But the idea of telling them, now that was just plain amazing.

“Logan, if I get this spell right, I get to finish what they started, and then I can actually tell them! I didn’t think I’d get to tell them!”

“You will carry not only their name but their legacy as well,” Logan replied and squeezed Virgil’s hand. Virgil smiled at Logan with tears in his eyes, hearing it said out loud just making it so much cooler. After a moment Virgil blinked away his tears and changed the subject, not prepared for so many emotions along with Logan’s slightly higher magic levels and the magic of the park.

“So, other than meeting each other's family,” Virgil began as they started walking again. “What are we gonna do once this is all over?”

Logan was grinning at that question and Virgil smiled too. 

“Well I am sure you will be living with Janus and Patton at least until you turn eighteen,” Logan said. “However I will have already turned eighteen by that point...perhaps Roman and I could find an apartment near you three.”

“Hell yes!” Virgil exclaimed. “God I’m so tired of long distance relationships! And after this I don’t know what the fuck I’d do without being able to feel your abilities all the time.”

“I doubt any of us will last being separated for long,” Logan pointed out. “By the time we’ve ended the curse, we will have all been living in close quarters for at least four months.”

“Damn, the world is gonna be so fucking confused when they wake up,” Virgil laughed. “But yeah, no way we are getting separated after this.”

“Especially since you will be nearly engaged by that point,” Logan said jokingly. Virgil was absolutely not complaining about that, but also it was a perfect opening to make Logan gay. He knew Logan was probably saying that because Roman probably told him about their conversation at the beach, but Virgil did have two boyfriends and would be perfectly happy marrying both of them.

“To which one of you?” Virgil teased.

Logan opened and closed his mouth a couple times and Virgil stifled a laugh. God, Logan was so fucking cute. 

“Oh thank goodness,” Logan muttered when a tree came into sight and Virgil laughed. “Quiet, you. Let’s get what we came for.” 

Virgil just rolled his eyes and continued to laugh a little but didn’t say anything as they walked over to the tree. Logan got ready to use his magic, but then hesitated. Was something wrong? He did have more magic at the surface than normal, but it wasn’t insane so Logan shouldn’t have a problem controlling it-

Oh, well fuck. Now it was Virgil’s turn to be gay as Logan decided to use way more magic than necessary and tear the entire tree from the ground. He was so fucking hot oh God Virgil was done for.

“I believe that will suffice,” Logan nodded and turned back to Virgil.

Virgil just stared at Logan. He couldn’t speak, his brain wasn’t functioning. It was just white noise with the words “boyfriend” and “hot” floating around in there somewhere. Fuck this.

Virgil looked Logan up and down before landing on his blue, glowing eyes, and any restraint he had left dissolved. He shoved Logan against a nearby tree and grabbed his tie, harshly pulling his face down so Virgil could reach to kiss him. Logan was kissing back and hummed happily, and Virgil was on his toes, using Logan’s tie to get the best angle. 

Logan laughed against Virgil’s lips and Virgil smiled. The hand he had on Logan’s tie released its grip to splay across Logan’s chest so he could lean in even closer to his wonderful boyfriend. Logan wrapped an arm around Virgil’s waist, helping to steady him and so Virgil just kept going.

Virgil moved his hand to the buttons of Logan’s shirt as he began to fight with them without pulling away. Logan bit at his lip and Virgil was absolutely not complaining as he continued to work at the buttons. He didn’t give a shit that they were in the middle of a park, his boyfriend had just uprooted an entire tree for God’s sake, and that was sexy as fuck.

But of course, happy moments never lasted in the apocalypse, as suddenly a voice he didn’t recognize spoke.

“Hello,” The voice spoke.

Virgil jumped back fearfully, the suddenness of the interruption somehow enough to keep him from fucking his boyfriend for the first time in the middle of a park. He yelped and tripped over his own feet in his fear, the only thing keeping him from falling being Logan’s magic catching him. Logan came over and helped Virgil up, and Virgil just kept looking for the source of the sound. He swore if cultists were gonna attack them now was NOT THE TIME!

“Are you alright?” Logan asked, voice full of concern.

Virgil glanced around, terrified, looking for whoever had spoken. The only other people awake were cultists, were they about to get ambushed? Really, when he was trying to make out with his boyfriend? Now that was just rude.

They heard footsteps coming from behind the tree Logan had been against just moments before and Logan stepped in front of Virgil. Virgil curled his hand into a fist, resisting the urge to shove Logan out of the way because damn it he did not need to be protected. Suddenly, Virgil was distracted from his irritation when the most amazing creature he had ever seen came out from behind the tree. It was a hippogriff. An actual, real life fucking hippogriff.

“Holy shit,” Virgil muttered. He nudged his annoyingly protective boyfriend to the side slightly to get a better look at the amazing creature standing in front of him, and found himself completely awestruck. “Holy fucking shit.”

The hippogriff ruffled its wings then opened its beak and… and it fucking spoke. Virgil could understand it! Like, he knew he’d be able to, but it actually happening was a whole other story.

“My apologies if I frightened you or interrupted anything,” The hippogriff said. “It was unintentional.”

“It’s, um, it’s all good,” Virgil replied, still completely in awe of what was happening.

“I am glad,” the hippogriff nodded. “However, if I may have a moment more of your time, I must question what you are doing here, awake nonetheless. As far as I have seen, only magical creatures have remained awake outside of the people that orchestrated this.”

“Oh, uh, we were just here for wood,” Virgil stuttered, trying to get his brain to process what was going on so he could actually speak. “We need it for a spell to bring an end to all of this. Us two are awake because we are also magical, which you probably figured out since I can fucking talk to you, but we have a few other friends that are awake because of magic or in some cases spells.”

“I see,” The hippogriff replied. “Well, as these people are destroying the natural order of magic, I must ask if there is any way I could be of assistance in your quest to stop them. I have been at a loss for what to do for the past couple months, so if there is any way I could help I will gladly comply.”

Virgil thought for a moment. He honestly wasn’t sure. It felt like they were drowning in things to do, yet somehow he couldn’t think of a single way this polite, beautiful creature could help. Virgil turned to Logan.

“They asked if there is any way they can help,” Virgil told Logan. “Can you think of anything?”

“Perhaps…” Logan said, probably thinking. Virgil could practically see his brain working. “We were in Florida in one area for a worrying amount of time, it is likely the cult is not far behind us. Could you possibly delay them in some way?”

“Cult?” The hippogriff asked. “Is that what is behind this? A cult?”

“Yeah they’re pretty fucking evil,” Virgil sighed. “But they are trying to stop us from casting these spells and getting the ingredients. If you could delay them from getting to us that would be extremely helpful, actually.”

“I shall do my best,” The hippogriff said before pausing. “Why, how rude of me, I did not ask for your names.”

“Oh, I’m Virgil, and this is Logan,” Virgil replied. “What about you?”

“My name is Hayden,” Hayden said with a small bow. “I wish you luck, Virgil and Logan. I hope I can effectively delay the cult as long as possible. For now, go back to enjoying yourselves.”

Virgil’s face grew warm as he nodded. “Yes, um, thank you Hayden.”

“You are very welcome, Virgil,” Hayden replied before launching himself into the air, leaving behind an embarrassed Virgil and confused Logan in his wake.

“Do I even want to know?” Logan sighed.

“He said he’d help us, he wished us luck and said to go back to enjoying ourselves,” Virgil summarized, his face growing even more pink at that last part.

“I did wonder why you suddenly started blushing,” Logan shrugged. “Would you like to listen to him or return to the hotel?”

“Hmm,” Virgil pretended to ponder the question. “So, my options are go back to the hotel where I will probably be stuck working on spell shit for the rest of the afternoon, or stay in a metro park full of so many amazing energies and make out with my amazing boyfriend…” Virgil wrapped his arm around Logan’s waist from behind as he trailed off teasingly.

“I agree it is an incredibly difficult decision,” Logan retorted as he laid his hand over Virgil’s.

“Yes, very difficult,” Virgil muttered as he stood on his toes to press a kiss to the back of Logan’s neck. “Does that make the decision any easier, love?”

“A bit, darling,” Logan teased, leaning into Virgil a bit.

Okay, well, in this case, Virgil was not going to give Logan the satisfaction of caving first. He had already made a fool of himself practically attacking Logan just minutes before, it was his boyfriend’s turn to initiate. 

“Only a bit?” Virgil asked, lips brushing against Logan’s neck when he spoke. Logan shivered minutely but didn’t react otherwise.

“I’m not one to soften the truth,” Logan said.

“Hmm, okay, well in that case,” Virgil shrugged with one arm and leaned back slightly. Logan didn’t react and Virgil rolled his eyes. Damn, how hard was it to get his boyfriend to kiss him? Virgil let the arm around Logan’s waist move across Logan’s stomach as he walked around to Logan’s front so Logan could see his face.

“In that case what?” Logan breathed.

“In that case I guess I’m just gonna have to try a little harder,” Virgil replied, leaning close enough to Logan that he could brush the fingers of his left hand against Logan’s chest, keeping his right arm around his waist. “Made a decision yet?”

“You are a cruel, cruel man,” Logan muttered, his hands coming up to rest on Virgil’s hips.

“Oh, I know, honey,” Virgil teased, meeting Logan’s eyes and rising onto his toes just slightly but not initiating a kiss. He was going to get Logan to start this if it was the last thing he did.

“Fuck this,” Logan muttered before _finally_ leaning down and kissing Virgil hard. Virgil didn’t hesitate to kiss back, grabbing the back of Logan’s shirt with his right hand as he rose higher onto his toes to press into Logan’s lips. Logan’s hands kept moving, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. They were on Virgil’s hips, his face, the small of his back, in his hair, it was like a storm, unpredictable but soothing. Virgil spotted a stump just a few steps away and pulled back slightly to draw Logan toward it. He stepped up onto it so he was actually eye level with his boyfriend and wrapped his good hand around his neck, pulling Logan closer once more. Logan was laughing against his lips as Virgil leaned closer to Logan, his boyfriend now the only thing keeping him from falling off the tree stump as he gripped Logan’s tie with his left hand that would likely be doing more if not restrained by a sling.

“I may just wear a tie more often,” Logan muttered, running his hands up Virgil’s sides.

“Mhmm,” Virgil hummed in agreement, too distracted to even think to defend his gayness. Logan just chuckled again, one hand cupping the side of Virgil’s face as he tilted his head just a bit to get a better angle. Virgil pushed impossibly closer to Logan, crushing his left arm between them as he tried to push their bodies against each other. Then Logan pulled back. Not away, just back, breathing heavily. Virgil waited a moment, giving Logan a chance to catch his breath before coming back, but he didn’t kiss Virgil again.

“Whyyy?” Virgil whined. It wasn’t like there was another hippogriff or something Virgil hadn’t noticed, right?

“My apologies, my love,” Logan panted. “However, I do not wish to tire you out before tomorrow.”

“What’s tomorrow?” Virgil asked, confused. As far as he knew tomorrow they were just finishing up in Ohio and getting on the road to Yellowstone, why would he need energy for that? He could probably sleep in, or sleep in the car if he had to. So what was Logan talking about?

“That is a secret I’m afraid I will have to keep,” Logan sighed.

“Uhg, you’re no fun,” Virgil pouted. He leaned back and turned around, crossing his arms as he leaned his back against his boyfriend’s chest as he continued to pout.

“Considering the amount of times you’ve confessed your love for me you haven’t had an issue thus far,” Logan pointed out, wrapping his arms around Virgil to hold him there.

“I hope you know this secret thing better be pretty fucking amazing if you made me stop kissing you,” Virgil muttered. Logan laughed at that, hard enough that he had to hide his face in Virgil’s good shoulder.

“I can assure you that you will love it,” Logan promised.

“Still probably won’t be better than kissing you,” Virgil grumbled, still refusing to move from his position of leaning on his boyfriend.

“I think it will be,” Logan disagreed. “Considering how much _I_ enjoy kissing _you_ , you should trust my assessment.”

“Uhg, fine,” Virgil relented, still extremely disappointed that their moment had been cut short _twice_. He began to pull away from Logan to balance on his own but Logan used his arms already around him to lift him off the stump. Virgil opened his mouth to protest, but instead a giggle came out. Logan set him on the ground and pressed a kiss to his hair. Virgil quickly looked up, desperate to catch just one more kiss from his boyfriend but Logan straightened up where Virgil couldn’t reach him because he was mean. Virgil stuck his tongue out at him and Logan just shook his head. 

“You’re mean,” Virgil grumbled as he went to pick up his bag which had fallen off his shoulder somewhere in the midst of all that.

“Whatever you say, dear,” Logan sighed.

Virgil retrieved his bag and turned back to Logan. “Well, I guess we’re heading back then? Unless you changed your mind about wearing me out.”

Virgil knew Logan wouldn’t have changed his mind, no matter how much Virgil wanted him to, but he was going to ask anyways, just in case. Logan choked on nothing once his brain caught up to what Virgil had said and rather than answering Virgil just shook his head.

“Fine, but you’re making this up to me at some point,” Virgil said, before realizing what he had just demanded. Wow, okay, there was no hiding the gay right now apparently.

“Gladly,” Logan muttered, almost to himself before holding out his hand. Virgil got the bag over his good shoulder quickly before taking his boyfriend’s offered hand with a smile. Logan reached an arm out to the uprooted tree and Virgil felt his magic rise, which was not helping him control his gayness, before a branch snapped off the tree and into Logan’s hand. “There, now we can leave.”

Virgil resisted the urge to repeat what he had done earlier and just ambush his boyfriend with his blue eyes and badass abilities and amazing magic and beautiful mind, but he wasn’t that mean. Logan was trying to get them going, so he would let him, even if he wasn’t happy about it. The walk to the car was quiet, though on the drive back Logan interrogated him on why he becomes Hissy Virgil, which was a conversation Virgil had chosen to block from his mind. Once they got back they all ate dinner before Virgil went to bed, anxiety rising when he remembered that there was a surprise the next day. He hated not knowing things, but at least Logan thought he would like it, so it couldn’t be anything horrible. He just hoped Logan was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed!! Feel free to leave a comment, and see y'all whatever Sunday we get our shit together next!!! And don't forget to go read the one shot and send Salem some love on tumblr @saibug1022, they felt really bad about what happened this chapter, so make sure you send them some love and support because their mental health is so much more important than some copy paste dialogue, as I am sure you will all agree.   
> Thanks guys, love you all!!!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello kiddos, and welcome back!!  
> Sorry it's been a bit, school started and all went to shit basically, but we are back, and I just have to say I don't think you guys are ready for the level of adorable, amazing relationship fluff that is about to go down, so prepare yourselves :)  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Make-out scene, slight choking (On a sandwich, it isn't kinky I swear!), slight nervousness and confusion, fear, biting (Yeah, that one's kinky, shut up), scars, talk of injuries  
> That should be it, cause like I said, this one is pretty fluffy, y'all deserve it.  
> Hope you enjoy!!

Virgil woke up with a groan as he rolled over in the bed. He had gotten into the habit of getting his pain meds first thing when he woke up, and even started keeping them and a glass of water by wherever he slept. He was not about to let another Cat Virgil day happen on his watch, hence why he had also been avoiding getting too comfortable on couches.

Once Virgil had taken his pain meds he rolled back over, surprised to see only one person in the bed. Logan was still asleep beside him, and Roman was gone. Did this have anything to do with the surprise?. Virgil sighed and leaned over and gave Logan a kiss to start waking him up. He hated that he was one of the first up every day now, but his shoulder just kept waking him up no matter how late he took his meds. Logan’s eyes slowly opened and he shifted up so he could easily reach Virgil and gave him a proper kiss. Virgil smiled, but then glanced anxiously once again at Roman’s empty spot on the bed.

“Hey, Lo, do you know why Roman isn’t here?” Virgil asked.

“Hmm,” Logan frowned, as he thought about it. Logan was always almost unintelligible for the first few seconds after waking up until his brain kicked into gear. It was like a switch went off as he smiled. “I do. I believe he left you a note.”

A note? Virgil glanced around in confusion before noticing the white envelope on Roman’s pillow with his name on it. Huh. Virgil reached over and picked it up, struggling to open it with his one hand but eventually getting the note out. 

_ Dear Mr. Virgil Tempest, _

_ God, remember when I started all my letters like that? How you dealt with me at fifteen I will never understand. But even when I was a pompous jerk you kept replying to all my letters. Maybe it was because we both really needed a friend. Then it built up and  _ led  _ to something more.  _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S might want to check the kitchen) _

Okay, Virgil was officially confused, but not in a bad way. He wasn’t sure what this was, but he was pretty sure it was part of whatever Logan had been talking about the day before, and it looked like Logan was going to be right, he was going to love this. He smiled as he reread the letter again and glanced at Logan who was grinning much wider than Logan usually did.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on here?” Virgil asked teasingly.

“Not at all,” Logan replied. He leaned in and kissed Virgil one more time. “Now I believe you have instructions to follow.”

“Yeah,” Virgil rolled his eyes fondly. “Can you help me get on my sling real quick though?”

“Of course,” Logan nodded and retrieved the sling from the side of the bed. He tied the knot behind Virgil’s neck after expertly setting his arm. Well someone got experience fast. Once he was done he grabbed his glasses and motioned toward the door. “Now  _ go. _ ”

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” Virgil chuckled as he got off the bed. He noticed Logan’s aviator jacket in the corner and decided to snatch that instead of grabbing his regular hoodie. He wasn’t sure how he’d get it on, but he’d try. Once he got to the kitchen he immediately noticed another letter sitting on the counter and put the jacket over his shoulder so he could pick it up. He tore open the letter with his teeth, but before he could read it he heard a voice behind him.

“Is that Logan’s jacket?” Remus asked suddenly, causing Virgil to jump slightly before chuckling to himself. Oh, he was soooo gonna abuse Remus’s crush on Logan right now, this was the prime opportunity.

“Uh-huh,” Virgil smirked as he turned to face Remus who was looking at the coat critically. “Can you help me get it on?”

Remus was quiet for a moment before sighing and rolling his eyes. “Fine,” He grumbled. He walked over and helped Virgil get off his sling again so he could put both arms through the jacket, which wasn’t too hard with how big the sleeves were, before helping him retie his sling. 

“Thanks!” Virgil grinned and Remus just made annoyed noises under his breath. “You jealous?”

“Yes, and?” Remus pouted.

“You’re hilarious,” Virgil decided.

“No I’m sad,” Remus said.

“Don’t worry, he’ll forgive you soon, I’d bet money on it,” Virgil told him. He liked teasing Remus, not actually making him upset. “I’ve talked to him...he misses you. Just give him some time, he’ll get there, I know it.”

“Really?” Remus asked in a small voice.

“Really,” Virgil confirmed with a smile, and Remus smiled back. 

“Okay, now open your letter you emo loser.”

Virgil laughed as he turned back to the letter on the counter.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ I don’t know if I ever told you this, but I was in the kitchen when I got the letter from you with your phone number on it. I’d already sent you mine when Jameson brought in the mail and handed me the weekly letter from you. I was in my pajamas, eating cocoa puffs and half asleep, and Remus was actually asleep with his head on the counter. I opened the letter and made such a high pitched sound Remus knocked over his bowl and sent oatmeal flying everywhere. That story makes me laugh every time I think about it and please feel free to use it to tease Remus <3 _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S the next letter is on the outside of the front door.) _

Virgil was laughing when he finished reading the letter. He actually hadn’t heard that story before, and he was slightly upset about that now because it was amazing. He took a moment to compose himself before tucking the letter into his sling with the first one. And leaving Remus alone in the kitchen once more.

He made his way to the front door and went outside to find another white envelope with his name on it taped to the front door. He took it with a grin. He didn’t know what was going on, but he was loving it. Once again he used his teeth to open the letter, excited for whatever story it would reveal.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ Honestly this letter has no relevance to the front door, I just had to get you outside. But each letter has a story about us, so here’s this one: the first time I heard your voice I had to mute my microphone for a minute because I almost had a stroke. I think that was the first thing I fell in love with. There are a lot of people with voices that don’t really fit them and just make no sense but your voice just felt like you. You know when you’re putting together a puzzle and you know the exact shape of one of the places because you formed everything around it already? Your voice was like that for me, a siren song I couldn’t ever imagine being dangerous. _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S, next letter is at the front desk) _

Virgil’s face was warm as he was absolutely not starting to cry. Because that would be stupid. It was just a letter but reading it just brought Virgil back. He remembered the first time he had heard Roman’s voice. It hadn’t seemed like anything special that first time, but then the second time, when Roman paused mid sentence to sing along to a Disney song playing in the background, Virgil was gone. He would never forget how hearing him sing for the first time had sent a shock through his veins, filling his heart with this warmth he was unable to recognize at the time as love. 

Virgil tucked the letter into his sling with the others and quickly wiped his watering eyes. He took the elevator down to the front desk and found the note taped to the computer. He pulled it off and opened it with his teeth again, much quicker this time. He was getting too good at this.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ Now you might be thinking, “Oh Roman you beautiful genius, obviously there is no flawed aspect to your glorious plan but why tape the note to a computer?” Well Virgil, that would be because this next one is a story you know: the first time I saw your face. We had been doing video calls for a while and despite me being sure you were beautiful because I was already crushing on you HARD at this point, you didn’t want to show your face yet. And I was always fine with that. But you revealed your face, in the middle of my story about what had happened at my first swordplay lesson. So I’m mid dramatic pose and then that’s when you turn on your flipping camera. I had a freaking heart attack once I realized and literally fell out of my chair because you are mean. But it was worth it because while you laughed your ass off at me, I got to see you laughing instead of just hearing it. You were gorgeous, your eyes, your lips, your hair, everything! My gay little heart couldn’t handle it and let me tell you, if I was white my whole face would have been as red as yours probably is reading this letter. _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S the light pole near the parking light) _

Even in a letter, Roman could call Virgil out for his blushing and gay flusteredness. Virgil read the letter three times before finally looking up from the paper.

He remembered the first time he had seen Roman’s face. They had only had a couple phone calls when Roman suggested they facetime. Virgil had said yes, but then panicked. He was always dubbed as the bad kid in school. He wore dark clothes, he was antisocial… he hadn’t wanted Roman to see him like that though. So he decided to keep his camera off. But Roman did not, which made Virgil even more glad he had kept his off. The first thing he had noticed about Roman was his striking green eyes, then his freckles, and his hair. Virgil had gone entirely red upon seeing him, and if he’d had his camera on, he knew he’d never be able to live that down.

He had been so scared when he decided to turn on his camera, so he had decided to not make a big deal of it, and just do it. He hadn’t expected Roman to literally fall out of his chair! But somehow that gave Virgil just the laugh he needed in that moment to feel comfortable in front of Roman. After that, he always kept his camera on.

Virgil sighed and shook his head as he glanced back at the paper, checking his next destination before tucking this letter with the others. Virgil found the letter taped on the light pole and quickly opened it. He was going to be an expert letter opener with his teeth after this. Like, did Roman seriously have to put them all in envelopes? But in all reality, Virgil didn’t mind. He still didn’t know what was going on, but it was cute and it was making him happy, so he would just continue to enjoy it. He opened the next letter.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ Another thing I never told you was when I realized I was in love with you. It was the middle of the night and I had a horrible nightmare. Well it was horrible at the time at least, but this all has thrown some things into perspective. I didn’t want to wake Remus because he had an awful night the night before and was finally sleeping so I did the first thing I could think of. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until I had already called you and heard you talking to me in a rough sleepy voice. You took initiative and had us switch to video call when you heard my breathing because you already knew exactly what I needed. You knew I needed to see someone, to see you, and you got me to talk to you about it which was a FEAT back then, which I’m sure you remember. After that you told me some funny stories and as I looked at you, hair a disaster, in your pajamas, and lit only by the street light outside your bedroom window I realized that I loved you. As I listened, I opened another tab on my computer. _

_ I wanted to know how much it would cost to send flowers to you. _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S next one is on my car tucked under the wipers) _

Virgil wasn’t crying. Absolutely not.

Except he totally was. He remembered that night, but he hadn’t realized that had been when Roman realized. It was just a regular night, except for the call from Roman. Just regular chatting and funny stories but something about it led to Roman realizing he loved him. Not crying.

Virgil never really had a moment, with either Logan or Roman. It was just kind of a feeling that he was constantly aware of as it slowly grew. It scared him at first, being that close to someone. But after all of this, he was learning that loving someone, no matter how much pain it could cause, is a good thing.

Virgil wiped the tears off his face as he tucked this letter in his sling as well. He walked over and got the other letter, excited to see what story it held.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ You know this story and I think your end is similar to mine. This one is about when we finally first met. Do you know how many times I wanted to hold you, to kiss you, to run my fingers through your hair, but couldn’t because the internet is stupid and couldn’t teleport me to your house? Then there was this other Virgil on Discord and the world was ending. My twin was missing, I had no idea what happened to my boyfriend until I saw him shivering under a lamp post. I couldn't believe it at first, but I recognized your hoodie of all things, the black one you gave Logan. Then you looked up at me and I realized that you were in front of me. You were okay, you were with me and I could do everything I had ever wanted to do. Then I remembered that you walked for eight hours like an idiot so I focused on that for the moment. _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S the eastern side of the building, check where the sun is and go that way.) _

Virgil chuckled. Roman knew him too well, telling him how to identify east. He read the letter once more, like he had been doing with all of them. He thought it was funny that Roman was able to recognize him from a generic black hoodie. Finally, he put the letter with the others and made his way toward the east side of the building where he found the letter taped to the wall. He opened it and began to read.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ I don’t know why you insist on doing all of our big moments nonchalantly and giving me a heart attack, but this is the next one. This one is when you told me you loved me. Like I said at the time I always knew. I was always able to read you and honestly there was love in every fiber of your being when you looked at me. But that isn’t the same as hearing it. I was just beginning to wonder if I ever would, if I would ever hear the voice I fell in love with after sending him a letter with a panda stamp on it because I thought it looked cool. Then you said it and I couldn’t believe it. I was so fucking happy, I felt so warm and safe as I held you in my arms and repeated the words on a loop in my head. Then you didn’t stop and you say them to me every day. And I will never ask you to stop. _

_ Love, Roman _

_ (P.S this is where it gets weird but this next one is on this gravel path that leads to this little garden this hotel has for some reason) _

Virgil was grinning so wide he was worried his face would split as he reread this letter as well. Once he had said it once, it was as if he had opened the floodgate and he never wanted to stop telling Roman how much he loved him. And Roman didn’t want him to stop either. Virgil tucked away the letter and went to find the gravel path, looking at his feet as he walked so as to not miss the letter. Once he found it, he rushed to open it, ready to see what all of this was leading up to.

_ Dear Virgil, _

_ This is the last letter, because this is the most recent event. Actually it was less than a week ago. It was in the car and then on the beach. Yes I’m talking about when you kind of accidentally let slip that you wanted to marry me. But Virgil what you don’t understand, is I’ve wanted to marry you for months now at least. I knew it and I’d accepted. So when you said it so casually I didn’t even think twice. Until I realized and I realized what you said and I had to stop myself from crying in the passenger seat of my own freaking car because the love of my life just told me he wanted to marry me. _

_ Then I saw your face and you looked completely shocked and I thought I heard it wrong. We walked along the beach and I confessed to you I meant every single word I said. Then you told me you felt the same and it was like everything else melted away until there was nothing left but you, me, and love. I almost proposed to you right there in the sand if I’m being honest. But that would have been stupid. For one it’s the apocalypse, two you’re sixteen, and three neither of us have graduated. So engagement may not be the best idea. But I think I can do the next best thing. _

_ All my love, Roman _

_ (P.S follow the path) _

Virgil’s face was warm and wet from blushing and tears. He wiped off his cheeks, trying to make himself look more presentable before he tucked away the letter and continued down the path, wondering what the next best thing would be.

He eventually reached the garden Roman had mentioned. He saw Roman standing in the center with the totebag Logan had brought from his apartment off to the side. He was muttering to himself and turning something over and over in his hands but Virgil couldn’t quite make it out. He looked up and a nervous grin spread over his face as he changed his grip on the object so Virgil couldn’t see it at all.

“Hey, Princey,” Virgil said as he got closer. “You trying to make me look like a mess for whatever is about to happen?”

“Oh this is going to do it on it’s own,” Roman promised. “I didn’t need the letters for that.”

“I mean, I’m not complaining,” Virgil said. He pulled the handful of letters out of his sling. “Although, I am going to ask if you have a better place I can put these for now. I don’t wanna lose them.”

Roman took the letters and placed them on the ground next to the bag before quickly placing a small rock on top of them before they could blow away. He stood back in front of Virgil and reached out to take his hand.

“Can I start now?” Roman asked teasingly.

“Yeah, sure,” Virgil replied, grinning. He didn’t know what was about to happen, but for once, he was excited about a surprise and not anxious. He looked up at Roman. “Go ahead, Ro.”

“I’m not sure if you noticed a theme to all those letters,” Roman began. “But it was every time something changed. Whether it was seeing you or loving you, something always changed. And things keep changing from your name to our friends. But that change can be scary, I know that. Except we’ve gone through so many changes that brought us together even more, that when it comes to us I’m willing to go through one more change.”

Roman held up the object so Virgil could see it properly. It was a small, purple, velvet box with a small black cat silhouette in the corner. It was a ring box. Virgil’s breath hitched. He knew Roman said he wasn’t proposing, though even if he was Virgil might just throw caution to the wind and say yes, but then what was it? Roman opened the box with one hand and Virgil actually got to see the ring inside. It was fairly simple. A silver band with a fairly large piece of amber in the middle, a small black stone on either side of it. It was beautiful. And- wait, amber? Did Roman make him this ring? Was this ring going to work as protection as well?

“I told you I wasn’t proposing,” Roman continued. “For a multitude of reasons. But I also said I would give you the next best thing. So instead of legally binding myself to you, for now I am going to make a promise. I promise to always protect you as long as I can. I promise to hold you, and to let you hold me. I promise to support you no matter your troubles, worries, or pain. I promise to love you until my dying days. And I promise that as soon as we are able then Virgil Erikson I  _ will _ marry you. If you’ll have me?”

Virgil was speechless. He felt tears falling down his face and didn’t bother to wipe them off. He tried to find his voice, needing to tell Roman yes, absolutely, hell yes, but his voice just wouldn’t cooperate, so instead he just nodded. Roman laughed in pure and utter joy as he released Virgil’s hand so he could remove the ring from the box. He slid the box into his pocket before he gently took Virgil’s left hand. He was careful about it, but he managed to slide the ring onto Virgil’s ring finger. Virgil just couldn’t stop staring at it as he reached up and ran his fingers over it with his other hand.

“It’s amber,” Virgil finally spoke. “Did you make it?”

“Remus and Patton helped,” Roman admitted. “But yeah, I did.”

“I love it,” Virgil murmured. “It’s perfect.”

“I thought so,” Roman chuckled.

“So instead of a clunky amulet I get a beautiful ring that represents my boyfriend’s love for me,” Virgil nodded. “Yeah, no complaints from me.”

“Now there will always be a piece of me working to protect you,” Roman said. “It seemed right.”

Virgil looked up at Roman, finally taking his right hand away from the ring to wipe the tears on his cheeks. “I love you, Roman.” 

“I love you too, Virgil,” Roman replied easily. “Forever and always.”

“Forever and always.” Virgil agreed before getting on his toes and reaching up to try and pull Roman down for a kiss. Roman laughed but obliged. He put his hands on Virgil’s hips to steady him as he leaned down and happily pressed his lips against Virgil’s. Virgil smiled against Roman’s lips as he wrapped his good arm around Roman’s neck. They finally broke apart, their need for oxygen getting the better of them, but they didn’t look away from the others eyes.

“We have two options now,” Roman said in a hushed voice. “We can either stay out here and eat some sandwiches I made because that’s all I know how to make, or go back inside and go deaf from Remus and Patton’s screeching, your choice.”

Virgil thought about it, though it wasn’t really a decision. He wanted to stay out here with Roman, at least for a little while longer. But he was also kind of excited to show off the ring, even if the others had probably seen it already. Maybe he was a bit of a romantic, though he’d never admit it. But he could do that later, now was his time with Roman.

“We can stay here for a bit,” Virgil said. “Then I’m going to show off this ring and pretend they haven’t all probably already seen it.”

“Logan and Janus haven’t yet,” Roman told him as he picked up the stolen tote bag. He pulled a large black blanket from it and laid it out on the ground before sitting on it cross-legged. Virgil sat down as well, but his thoughts were going crazy at the mention of Logan. Did he know? Was he okay with this? He was sure he would be but…

“Shit, does Logan know?” Virgil asked before he could stop himself. “Is he okay with it?”

“He knows don’t worry,” Roman promised. “He just hasn’t actually seen the ring.”

“So I’ll actually get to show it off?” Virgil asked with a grin. God, he was hopeless.

“Yes you will,” Roman answered with a knowing grin. He pulled over the bag and began to rifle through it. He pulled out two breakfast sandwiches, one on a english muffin with a shit ton of bacon with the egg and cheese and the other on a croissant with sausage, egg, and cheese. “I don’t know how warm this will be but Logan said his dad enchanted the bag so I think they’ll be warm? Here.”

Roman held out the bacon sandwich and Virgil took it with a smile. “Extra bacon? You know me so well.” He took a bite and the sandwich was actually still warm. “This is delicious! You made this? I didn’t know you could cook!”

“Literally it’s the only thing I can cook,” Roman admitted with a laugh. “My mom wanted Remus and I to learn how to cook but Maria didn’t trust me with anything more complicated than this so I just worked on this forever. I think she thought I would set the house on fire.”

“Considering you’re so good at fighting you’d think you’d be able to handle a kitchen,” Virgil laughed. “I didn’t know how to cook until Logan returned my memories. Apparently my birth parents couldn’t cook for shit! They always burnt the waffles on my birthday if I didn’t help.”

“Okay even  _ I  _ can stick frozen waffles in a toaster,” Roman sighed. “I can’t make them but frozen waffles taste as good as homemade ones and you can quote me on that.”

“Well my parents did not agree as they  _ always _ tried to make homemade ones no matter how burnt they got.” Virgil chuckled as he thought back on those fond memories that he had begun to process and truly be able to enjoy. “I loved them but  _ God _ they could  _ not _ cook!”

“You know who actually can cook weirdly enough?” Roman realized. “Fucking  _ Remus _ .”

“Seriously!?” Virgil asked. Remus, of all people. He was so impulsive and chaotic, and he could be trusted in a kitchen? “I’d trust him in a kitchen less than you!”

“That’s what I thought!” Roman exclaimed. “But he was literally the only other person Maria trusted to help with dinner. Not any of the other staff or even this one chef we had over who offered to help. Just Remus.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Virgil declared with a laugh. He took another bite of his delicious sandwich and looked at Roman. “Although, I guess I can’t judge. I probably don’t seem like a very trustworthy cook either.”

“Not exactly who I’d think of, no,” Roman admitted.

“Remus and I should cook together,” Virgil decided. “We must prove ourselves!”

“You’re going to destroy some more hotel’s kitchens, aren’t you?” Roman said. 

“Absolutely we will,” Virgil agreed. “But the food will be amazing.”

“If you cook like Remus then definitely,” Roman agreed. He raised his remaining half of his sandwich like he was giving a toast. “I look forward to it.”

Virgil grinned and tapped Roman’s sandwich with his playfully before taking another bite. “I doubt I cook as good as Remus the way you talk about it. Especially considering I had such shitty teachers, but hey, it would be fun!”

“Wait you know what I just thought of?” Roman gasped. “Have you ever seen Logan cook? Like anything at all, even just warming up shit in a microwave?”

“I…” Virgil started as he thought about it. “I haven’t actually. Wait, oh my God, can Logan not cook!?”

“I don’t think he can,” Roman cackled. “You know him, if he could at all he would have helped back when Patton was shoving all that iron rich food down your throat. Literally he’s never even made a sandwich.”

“Oh my God that’s hilarious,” Virgil cackled. “The all-knowing Logan can’t cook!”

“Janus really is the only one of us who’s a functional person apparently. Oh he is never living this down.  _ Remus _ can cook but Logan can’t. This is the greatest thing ever.”

“Pact to never let Logan hear the end of this?” Virgil suggested, shoving the last of his sandwich in his mouth so he could hold out his hand to shake. Roman grinned and switched hands so he could shake Virgil’s.

“Absolutely,” Roman agreed. Virgil tried not to choke on his giant bite of sandwich as he laughed. He just couldn’t believe it. Roman had given him a promise ring, something that would protect him, and on top of that, he had given Virgil a moment to forget all of his responsibilities right now. To forget that the world was ending and there was a cult after them. A moment to just be happy. Roman cursed and scooted closer but he was laughing so he didn’t seem that worried. Virgil’s laughing changed as he started to cough, but he was still grinning as he reached for a capri sun and finally swallowed, tears in his eyes.

“You good, beautiful?” Roman asked, not sounding the least bit concerned. Virgil’s breath hitched when Roman called him beautiful, as it always did, and he nearly ended up choking again as he tried to compose himself.

“Yep!” Virgil managed to say, his face feeling very warm.

“Aw you’re all red,” Roman cooed, booping Virgil’s nose. “That’s adorable.”

“Shut up,” Virgil mumbled, tucking his red face into his own shoulder so Roman couldn’t see it. “I’m not adorable.”

“You’re right you’re not,” Roman agreed. “You’re gorgeous and  _ incredibly  _ adorable.”

Virgil would never admit to the small squeak that escaped him at those words. He tried to disguise it as a cough, but Roman was not fooled.

“Oh my little mouse,” Roman laughed and scooted so close his knees were pressed against Virgil’s. 

“I am not a mouse,” Virgil objected weakly, still not looking up at Roman. “I am a cat. How dare you call me anything else.”

“The sound didn’t seem very catlike to me,” Roman teased.

“Cat’s squeak,” Virgil muttered.

“Ah-ha!” Roman exclaimed triumphantly. “So you admit you squeaked!”

“What!? No!” Shit, he had admitted it, hadn’t he. Damn it he was never going to hear the end of this. “I don’t squeak!”

“Now this I am definitely telling Logan.”

“No! How could you! You give me a ring and now this! This is betrayal!” Virgil was laughing as he spoke, finally glancing back up at Roman from under his bangs, though he had no doubt that his face was still extremely flushed. Roman’s face was also flushed from laughing and he had a happy sparkle in his eyes that made Virgil’s heart skip a beat. He was just so beautiful and happy, and Virgil loved him so much.

“This kiss he’s going to give you won’t be,” Roman pointed out.

“Well then how are you going to make up for your end of the betrayal?” Virgil asked innocently.

“I was going to say that if you want a kiss you can just kiss me yourself,” Roman started with a smirk. “But then I remembered you’re too short, so I guess asking really is your only option.”

“Hey, when I get both arms back I won’t have to ask, because I will physically force you to lean down.”

“What are you gonna do little monkey, climb me?”

“I am not that short!” Virgil objected. “But yes, if I have to, absolutely.”

“You can try,” Roman said with a teasing smirk. He swooped down and was kissing Virgil before his brain could even formulate a response. Virgil’s body responded before his brain did as he leaned into Roman and kissed back passionately, wrapping his good arm around Roman’s neck. Roman’s hand fisted itself in Virgil’s hair, but in contrast the other one just lightly touched Virgil’s left hand and Roman ran his fingers over the ring on Virgil’s finger over and over again.

Eventually, Virgil pulled back just slightly as he gasped for air and smiled at Roman. He looked down happily at where Roman’s hand was still on his left one before looking back at Roman.

“So, Princey,” Virgil said, still slightly out of breath. “Are there any more surprises you have for me, or is it time for me to go show off this amazing ring?”

“Sadly that’s all for today,” Roman sighed disappointedly. “But I think it was pretty good?”

“It was perfect,” Virgil said without hesitation. Then, a thought hit him. He had the amber now, so he could do a spell without a spell circle. And he had so much positive energy right now, it would be so easy to just do something simple and see if the ring worked. He could just do a simple spell, without a spell circle, and be safe, though nothing complicated with his injury. He had learned that the hard way with the picture. He grinned at the thought of being able to enjoy his magic again. “Actually, wait, can we do one more thing?”

“Anything for you,” Roman replied easily.

“Can I… can I see if it works?” Virgil asked, hesitating slightly. 

He knew Roman didn’t really understand his magic, and he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, they were having such a great time! He just, he knew from that very first lesson with Logan, remembering the feeling of casting his first spell circle, that his magic could feel amazing. And he wanted that back again, so, so much. And now that he might have it… well, he just had to know. He had to know if he could finally stop letting that fear control him and be able enjoy his magic once more. And if it didn’t work… well, then Virgil didn’t know. But he was trying not to let that nervousness get the best of him.

“What, the ring?” Roman checked.

“Yeah,” Virgil nodded. “I promise I won’t do anything big like with the picture, just a little thing. Just cause I have so much positive energy from this so it shouldn’t be too hard, and I just need to know if it works. Cause maybe then I can enjoy my magic again, I dunno…” Virgil was rambling, a sure sign that he was more nervous than he had let himself realize. He gave his head a quick shake. “Anyways, can I try it?”

“Of course,” Roman nodded. “Do I need to do anything?”

“No, I, I don’t think so,” Virgil said. “I just have to like, cast something to tap into the energies. The spell circle normally keeps him out so without it… when I do that he could get to me but… but hopefully the ring will stop that.” 

Virgil took a deep breath as he tried to steady his hand. Just a simple light spell. Didn’t even need a sigil. He could do this. He tried to focus back in on all of the positivity he had felt just moments before but his fear was beginning to overwhelm him. He took another deep breath as he held out his shaking right hand in a fist. All he had to do was open it quickly and say light while focusing on all of the positive energy around him. It was that simple. He could do it… no, shit, no, he couldn’t do it. What if it didn’t work? What if he heard that God forsaken voice again? No, he couldn’t risk that again. He couldn’t do it, he-

“What are you willing to lose, you cover your wounds but underneath them,” Roman began to sing, pulling Virgil from his thoughts. God, he loved Roman’s voice. “A million voices in your head that whisper, ‘stop now’.”

Virgil’s hand stopped shaking as he listened to Roman sing. His voice was just so smooth and silky and beautiful, Virgil could listen to it for the rest of his life. He focused on Roman’s voice as he sang, tapping back into the positive energies around him to perform the simple spell, the one he had done that first day with Logan. Light.

“Another twist of the knife, turn of the screws, it’s all in your mind and it’s fighting you,” Roman continued. “Arm yourself, a storm is coming.”

Virgil took a deep breath. He brought his right hand up to touch the ring, closing his eyes for a moment as he just listened to his boyfriend sing.

“Well, kid, what you gonna do now? It’s your reflection looking back to pull you down. So are you gonna die today or make it out alive? You gotta conquer the monster in your head and then you’ll fly. Fly, Phoenix, fly.”

Virgil didn’t let himself hesitate any longer. He took his hand off the ring and held it in a fist in front of him. Before he could second guess himself, he opened his hand, focusing on all the positive energy that morning had provided, and whispered “Light.”

Suddenly, that beautiful purple ball of light appeared in his hand. He continued to hold it as he nervously prodded at the energy around him and… nothing. Just the beautiful feeling of his magic. No chill to it, no cold voice, just him and his magic. Virgil laughed gleefully.

“Wow,” Roman breathed. “Oh my stars, it’s...it’s magnificent.”

“It is!” Virgil exclaimed. “He’s not here Roman! It’s  _ my _ magic and he isn’t here!” Virgil barely registered the tears on his face as he turned the ball of purple light in his hand, just playing with the magic and the energy because he could now. And it was amazing.

Roman wiped the tears off Virgil's face as he smiled at him softly, his eyes reflecting the violet light despite the sun overhead. "I'm so proud of you."

“This wasn’t me,” Virgil pointed out. “It was you. You… you made this good again. Thank you. I… I can’t even begin to say how much that means to me.”

"Hey I'm always happy to help," Roman said. "I mean maybe you didn't get the message from this entire morning but I love you Virgil, so so much. And that includes loving the things you love. You love your magic, even if you haven't known about it for long so god damn it I knew I was going to make sure you got it back. Because your magic is as much a part of you as you are of me."

Virgil didn’t bother to let the ball of light in his hand fade, the feeling just bringing him too much joy, as he got up on his knees and threw his arm around Roman’s neck to kiss him again. Roman may not understand everything about magic, hell, Virgil didn’t, but he saw how much it meant to Virgil. Not only that, but he thought Virgil’s magic was ‘magnificent’. He loved it, just like Virgil did, and he had helped Virgil get it back. Virgil didn’t have the words to express just how much that meant to him, so he just kissed his boyfriend as if he was the most precious thing in the world. Roman laughed a little but wrapped his arms around Virgil's waist to help make sure he didn't fall.

With the light still glowing in his hand behind Roman’s head, it gave Roman’s hair this soft, purple glow that was just amazing. Virgil’s magic seemed to get along with Roman so well, the light and energies just making Roman even more beautiful, if that was even possible. But, much sooner than Virgil would have liked, he felt the magic begin depleting his energy and leaned back, letting Roman hold him up as he sighed and released the light. He then looked back up at Roman with a smile. 

“I love you,” Virgil reminded him. “So, so much.”

"And I love you too," Roman promised. "Are you ready to go back?" 

“And show off this awesome ring?” Virgil asked with a grin, wiggling the fingers on his left hand. “Absolutely.”

"Then let's go," Roman said. They both got up, Roman offering Virgil a hand which he took gladly. Roman collected the picnic things and handed Virgil the letters which made him smile. He was definitely going to keep these in his hoodie to read or just touch when he was having a bad day. Not that he was going to tell Roman that. Then, hand in hand, they walked back to the room they were staying in at the hotel. When they walked in, Remus and Patton were running around excitedly, Patton practically bouncing with every step and Remus moving miscellaneous objects around the room for people to notice when they woke up. Logan still wasn't in the room so he must have gone back to sleep, but Janus was just entering and was able to shake his head fondly at Patton and Remus before he spotted them.

"There're the love birds!" Janus announced. "How'd it go?"

Patton and Remus both immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to look at them, both of them literally  _ bouncing _ as they waited for a response. 

“Well…” Virgil said before wiggling the fingers on his left hand, really wishing the sling wasn’t in the way so he could just hold out his hand and show it off like all the girls in the movies. “I’d say it went pretty well.”

"Nice, Oreo," Janus grinned and came over to ruffle Virgil's hair. "Glad you dumbasses are happy."

Meanwhile, behind Janus, Remus was doing… was that supposed to be a happy dance? Or a victory dance? Virgil wasn’t sure but it was hilarious, and Patton was squealing.

“Janus have you seen it?” Virgil asked, unable to contain his excitement as he nudged back some of the fabric from Logan’s jacket's sleeve and the sling so Janus could better see the ring. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Janus stepped closer and carefully held Virgil's hand in his palm while he studied it. "It's very you. Kinda surprised it's orange and black not purple, though."

“It’s the amber,” Virgil explained, his grin going wider. “So I can do magic now without him getting in my head. It’s like a little bit of Roman is always protecting me.” 

Virgil felt his face grow warm as he realized what he had said, but he didn’t care. It was true, and he loved it, and he wanted to show it off, so that is what he was going to do.

"That is some gay ass bullshit," Janus decided. "But whatever floats your boat."

Virgil rolled his eyes fondly. “Yeah, okay. Can I go wake up Logan now? I wanna show him too!"

"He's awake just reading because Patton and Remus have been doing this ever since you left," Janus sighed. "It was either hiding in the bedroom or fucking holding their mouths shut."

“My twin is gonna get married, cut me some fucking slack!” Remus objected.

“We were just so excited for you kiddos!” Patton said at the same time. Virgil laughed.

"Thanks you guys," Roman said and opened his arms before whispering to Virgil: "I'll distract them while you run."

Virgil chuckled and made his escape to the bedroom while Patton and Remus went on about how it was no problem and they were so happy they were able to help.

When he got into the bedroom he saw Logan sitting on the bed. His legs were under the blankets but he was wearing the hoodie Virgil gave him unzipped over his bare chest still wearing the charm Virgil made him as he read something on his phone. Virgil quickly closed the door before he noticed him, taking a moment to compose himself before opening the door once more. Damn, he was not composed. 

His face was red as he took in the sight of his boyfriend. His hair was still all soft and messy so he hadn't brushed it yet. But Virgil was just avoiding the elephant in the room. Logan wasn't as pale as Virgil, actually his chest was tanner than Virgil would have expected. And he knew Logan was strong, that he'd trained his body as he trained his abilities and that he could fight, but he wasn't expecting his abs to be so defined either. He had a birthmark on his lower ribs that didn't really have a shape just spread across his side.

Virgil’s thoughts stopped, along with his breathing, as he just stared for a moment. Damn, Logan was absolutely fucking  _ gorgeous _ . Virgil didn’t know how or why Logan had chosen to be with him, but he was absolutely not going to complain. After a few more moments of staring as his brain next tried to comprehend that Logan was wearing his hoodie again, Virgil forced his eyes up to meet Logan’s, trying to remember how the english language worked.

"Welcome back," Logan greeted him, smiling nonchalantly. 

“I...um…” Damn it Virgil, speak! “Hi.”

"Are you alright?" Logan asked, brows furrowed in concern as he set his phone on the nightstand.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Virgil assured, his cheeks growing red at Logan’s concern. He continued to stand in the doorway as he tried to remember why he had come in here, all his thoughts consumed with how fucking hot his boyfriend was.

"Then why are you standing so far away?" Logan pressed on. "I assumed your blush was a result of Roman's affection, yet now I'm worried it has another factor."

“You’re...you’re not wearing a shirt,” Virgil said without thinking, his face turning an even deeper shade of red as he resisted the urge to facepalm.

"Is that making you uncomfortable?"

“No, no!” Virgil objected quickly. It may be causing him a gay crisis, but that did not at all mean he wanted Logan to put a shirt on. He desperately racked his brain for the reason he came in here, needing to change the subject as he unconsciously moved toward Logan, sitting on the edge of the bed, barely even noticing the tether relaxing as he sat down.

"I see the issue," Logan realized, a smirk growing on his lips. "However, this time I will spare you as I am eager to know if Roman was successful."

Oh, that was why he came in! God, how had he forgotten! Damn it, his boyfriends just never stopped with their torments.

“Oh, he was,” Virgil said with a grin, pushing shirtless Logan from his mind as his excitement from earlier resurfaced. “And the ring is so pretty, oh my God. I can’t believe he put in the effort to make it with the amber. I mean, just look at it!” 

Virgil pushed up his sleeve again and leaned forward so Logan could see the ring. Logan's eyes widened when he saw it and he scooted closer to Virgil so he could see every detail. He even held Virgil's hand in his to hold it still.

"I wasn't aware he was using the amber," Logan said. "I must admit, that is a stroke of genius on his part."

“Yeah,” Virgil smiled softly as he looked at the ring. “And, it works Logan. I tried it. I can do magic without him getting to me now.”

"Oh thank the stars," Logan sighed in relief. "I was worried the amber alone wouldn't be strong enough."

“I mean, I only did a small spell, but I did it without the spell circle and I couldn’t feel his presence at all,” Virgil laughed in pure joy and relief as he continued. “Logan, I can actually start to enjoy magic again!”

"I'm positively thrilled for you," Logan said, a smile on his face but something a bit sad in his eyes. "I'm glad you're happy, both with your abilities and Roman's promise."

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. “More the magic than the abilities. But yeah, it’s great. And… you’re okay with it, right? I mean, you seem fine with it but I just… I don’t want you to think this means Roman is more important or anything, because it doesn’t. I love you both equally.”

"Virgil I was the second person Roman told," Logan assured him, cupping the side of his face with one hand. "I encouraged him to go through with it because I knew it would make you both happy. I know you do not love me any less as a result, you have simply been in a relationship with Roman longer than you have with me, and that's alright."

“Okay,” Virgil nodded, his grin returning. “I love you, Logan.”

"I love you too, Virgil." Logan pecked his lips and when he pulled back he was still smiling and the thing was gone from his eyes.

“So…” Virgil started. “I was wondering what you were reading when I came in.”

"I finally had the chance to begin the Chamber of Secrets," Logan answered.

“Yay!” Virgil said, bouncing happily on the bed. “Do you like it so far? What part are you at?”

"Currently I believe Snape is attempting to get Ron and Harry expelled."

“You’re that far already?” Virgil asked in surprise, before remembering who he was talking to. “Oh, wait, of course you are. You’re like the fastest reader I know.”

"Considering most of our friends read at the pace of a slug that is not a high standard," Logan pointed out.

“Whatever, you read really fast and it’s not fair,” Virgil decided. “And hey, at least the rest of us can at least microwave something without setting the kitchen on fire.”

"That only happened once!" Logan protested before his eyes went wide and he realized what he said. He groaned and pulled up the hood of the hoodie to hide his face and slumped down against the headboard. 

“Oh my God that actually happened!?” Virgil was cackling as he watched his boyfriend retreat further into the hoodie. “Okay, now you’re just acting like me. Don’t steal my thing.”

Logan didn't say anything, but Virgil felt his abilities spike suddenly even though nothing moved. Virgil blushed as the feeling immediately made him feel more relaxed. 

“Rude.” Virgil muttered under his breath, barely even pretending to be annoyed. He felt a spike again just in time for a pillow to hit the side of his head.

“Oh you are  _ so _ on!” Virgil declared, grabbing the pillow and hitting Logan with it. He was aiming for his head and hit his shoulder, which he thought was pretty good considering he was using his wrong arm. 

Logan laughed from within the hood and reached out an arm so a pillow would fly into his hand. He used it to hit Virgil in his good side and Virgil tried again to get Logan in the head, this time actually succeeding. Logan had the audacity to flash his eyes at him before going for Virgil's head again. Virgil was giggling, which was something he probably hadn’t done for years as he hit Logan in the side with the pillow which made the hoodie slip off that shoulder. Virgil’s eyes went to the tan skin on Logan’s shoulder, momentarily distracting him from the task at hand as his poor gay mind did cartwheels. Logan smirked and Virgil felt his abilities again as suddenly he was pushed lightly down onto the mattress by an invisible force and held there. Logan appeared over him, eyes glowing and somehow still with the hood on his head.

“That’s cheating!” Virgil complained, unable to take his eyes from Logan’s glowing ones.

"I do not remember any rules being stated," Logan countered. 

“They were made, just in my head. Rule number one, no magic!” Virgil’s face was growing more and more red each moment his boyfriend stayed leaning over him, eyes glowing, shirtless, charm hanging down and brushing Virgil’s chest, and wearing his hoodie, and he was having serious trouble focusing. “Rule number two, you cannot use your amazingly good looks against your poor gay opponent.”

"I have done no such thing," Logan argued innocently, still not releasing Virgil from his magic's hold on him.

“Your glowing eyes and lack of shirt say otherwise,” Virgil pointed out, his voice a couple octaves higher than before.

"Would you rather I take the hoodie off completely?" Logan suggested with a smirk. Virgil just stared at Logan, his brain unable to comprehend what he was saying anymore as his gay panic mode went into overdrive. "Very well."

Logan shrugged off the hoodie and let it fall onto the floor on the side of the bed. Virgil’s poor gay heart couldn’t take much more of this as his eyes took in every inch of skin he could see, drinking in the sight of his beautiful boyfriend. Logan cupped the side of his face in one hand again before leaning down and kissing him hard and Virgil felt the magic release him. Virgil’s breath hitched as he immediately threw his right arm around Logan’s neck and held him there, leaning up into the kiss as the charm fell onto Virgil’s chest. It didn't take long before Logan was kissing along his jawline and Virgil was giggling nonstop. Then Logan was kissing down his neck, a little more forcefully than the pecks on his jaw. Virgil moved his hand to Logan’s head as he balled up his fist in Logan's hair. Logan made a sound against his throat at that Virgil tilted his head slightly so he could kiss Logan’s forehead.

Logan chuckled and came back up to Virgil's lips again, the hand on Virgil's face moving to support him as he threw a leg over Virgil to straddle his hips. Virgil gasped and internally cursed his sling for getting in the way of him putting his other arm around Logan. Not only that, but it put his stupid arm between the two of them, keeping him from getting too much closer to Logan.

“Damn sling getting in my way,” Virgil muttered under his breath. Logan sat up to look down at him again and for a second Virgil missed his glowing eyes.

"As long as you are careful and you do not breathe a word of this to Patton..." Logan started slowly.

“Wait seriously!? Yes, I promise I’ll be careful!” Virgil was grinning now.

"Then lift your head."

Virgil quickly lifted his head off the bed so Logan could reach around his neck and untie the purple sling that held Virgil’s arm captive. Logan's fingers brushed his neck in a way that had to be deliberate as he undid the knot and pulled away the fabric. Virgil couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips at the feeling. Logan dropped the sling onto the floor with the hoodie and Virgil felt and saw his abilities again before he heard the click of the door locking. Virgil also quickly shrugged off Logan's jacket, wanting as little between him and his boyfriend as possible.

Virgil immediately went to wrap his now free arm around Logan, but quickly regretted the speed of his movement, slowing down until he was able to put his left hand on the small of Logan’s back. He felt a couple of scars scattered on Logan’s back and ran his fingers over them curiously before using his hand to gently nudge him closer, the pain fading to the back of his mind as Logan went back to kissing him and the charm pressed between them. Logan put one hand next to Virgil's head to keep himself from falling and the other ended up splayed across Virgil's chest. Logan bit his lip and Virgil couldn’t help the small moan that escaped his lips. Logan chuckled deep in his throat at the sound and returned to Virgil's neck, kissing the skin there. Then Logan lightly bit the side of Virgil's neck and sucked at the area for a few seconds before kissing it gently in apology. Virgil gasped and his grip in Logan’s hair tightened. His grip on Logan’s back also tightened reflexively, but the tension caused too much pain in his shoulder so he had to force that grip to relax again, but Logan’s hair was shown no mercy.

This time Logan full-on moaned, which Virgil felt against his skin as much as he heard it, and came up to crash his lips onto Virgil's. Virgil tilted up his head slightly to kiss back eagerly. The hand on his chest began to move upward and fuddle with the top button of his shirt. Logan pulled back with a gasp, panting heavily as he looked down at Virgil.

"This okay?" Logan asked breathlessly, grammar and vocabulary apparently forgotten.

“Mhmm,” Virgil hummed, also sounding breathless.

Logan immediately got to undoing the buttons on Virgil's shirt, which technically wasn’t his, as he had only changed once more since the injury and was currently wearing one of Logan’s black button downs. Logan fumbled with the buttons more than he usually did but he had a determined look on his face. Virgil took his right hand out of Logan’s hair and reached to attempt to help, but he was basically useless as he tried to undo buttons with one hand, that hand being his wrong one. Logan got the last one but didn't try to take the shirt off, just opened it and sat up so he could run his hands over Virgil's chest. Virgil let his left arm fall to the bed painfully as he reached out with his right arm to run his fingers over Logan’s birthmark.

"You're beautiful," Logan muttered, almost like he didn't even realize he was saying it.

“Not as beautiful as you,” Virgil replied with a light chuckle. Now Virgil could actually see the blush spread across Logan's neck. “Get back down here.”

Logan laughed but obliged, leaning back down to kiss Virgil again and again. Virgil moved his right arm around Logan’s shoulders and noticed more scars scattered there as he ran his fingers over them curiously. Logan shivered at the touch but didn't make any move to stop him so it probably wasn't a bad shiver. This time his left hand ended up in Logan’s hair and Virgil smiled when Logan’s hair got caught in his ring as he wrapped it around his fingers. Logan hummed happily as he moved away from Virgil's lips and down his neck to his collarbone, kissing the part not covered by bandages. Virgil moaned as his grip in Logan’s hair tightened yet again. Logan responded by biting at his collarbone and sucking there too. Virgil’s right hand stilled on Logan’s shoulder as he dug his nails into Logan’s back. Logan laughed and continued to kiss and bite his way down Virgil's chest.

Virgil moved his left hand out of Logan’s hair as all of this movement was jostling his shoulder, instead moving his right hand back to that position and using his left hand to grab Logan’s arm tightly. Logan made his way back up to Virgil's lips like he couldn't stay away for too long. Virgil hummed happily and kissed back without hesitation.

Logan began to gradually slow down as Virgil’s grip slowly loosened. Eventually, they were just kissing each other lightly, both flushed and still slightly breathless. Logan sighed and climbed off Virgil just enough that he wasn't straddling him anymore, but there legs were still tangled together, Logan's head rested on his chest on his right side, and Logan's arm was wrapped around Virgil's waist. Virgil began to lightly trace the scars on Logan’s back again, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

“You don’t have to answer this,” Virgil started quietly. “But what are these from?”

"I believe I was approximately ten years old," Logan replied. "I'm not entirely sure why, but something happened and I had almost entirely lost control of my abilities."

Virgil smiled slightly when he noticed Logan called them abilities again, and continued to lightly trace the scars, waiting quietly to see if Logan continued.

"It was most similar to what happened in the alley with everything flying around wildly," Logan continued. He shifted a little so he could press a little closer into Virgil. "We had a coffee table in the living room with a glass top. Not faux glass that is truly a type of plastic but genuine glass that would shatter upon impact with something or someone."

“Oh, Logan,” Virgil sighed. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have had to deal with all that when you were so young. It’s not fair.” 

"Perhaps not but fair is not much of a contributor in our world," Logan muttered. "Despite the awful things that come of these abilities and the pain I wrestle with every day, I am grateful I can use them to protect the people I care about."

“There’s a bright side to everything I guess,” Virgil said. “Like this whole thing. It may be a mess, but at least I got to meet you, and my new brothers.”

"I'm thankful to know you as well," Logan replied and Virgil could feel him smiling against his chest.

"Please tell me you two are done in there," Janus called from the living room.

Virgil’s face turned a deep shade of red as his hand paused in its motions on Logan’s back. He glanced at Logan to see the back of his neck pinker than before, but otherwise he seemed unaffected by Janus calling them out.

"Just a moment!" Logan called back before sighing and peeling himself off of Virgil reluctantly. Virgil immediately missed the warmth of Logan’s body against him. He went to sit up, only then noticing how sore his shoulder now was and wincing slightly as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

“I’m fine,” Virgil said quickly. “My shoulders are just a little sore, but it was worth it.” Virgil threw a hand over his mouth when he realized what he said and his face turned an even deeper shade of red. Logan laughed quietly, hand over his mouth in an attempt to hide it but he couldn't hide the way it reached his eyes. 

“Oh shush.” Virgil mumbled, the hand over his mouth muffling the words and just making Logan laugh more.

"I was only going to suggest doing it again sometime," Logan said innocently. 

Virgil’s eyes widened and he nodded. He may be flustered, but he was not going to give Logan the impression that he didn’t like what happened. He was definitely up for doing it again.

"Then for now we should get dressed and rejoin the others," Logan said, but not getting out of the bed yet.

“Yeah, probably,” Virgil agreed, also not moving except to drop the hand that had been over his mouth. Logan moved closer and pecked his lips one more time before getting up and going over to his bag, probably to get an actual shirt. 

Virgil sighed and got up off the bed to go get his sling. It had landed in front of a mirror, and Virgil caught a glance of himself when he picked it up and gasped. Shit. Damn it Logan! Virgil had hickies scattered all over his torso. But worst of all, there was one on his neck, where people would definitely see it.

“Logan,” Virgil groaned. “Why are you so mean to me?”

Logan came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Virgil's waist, white shirt on but not yet buttoned. He leaned down so he could whisper right next to Virgil's ear: "I didn't hear you complaining."

Well, Logan wasn’t wrong. Virgil sighed and leaned back into Logan. “Fair point. But Janus is never gonna let me live this down.”

"I look forward to it," Logan replied and kissed Virgil's cheek before stepping back to button his own shirt.

Virgil reached down and worked on his buttons, hurting his shoulder in the process and hissing in pain. He rolled his eyes and let his left arm hang uselessly as he attempted to do the buttons with his one right hand, and failed miserably. Logan, having finished with his quickly enough, came over and helped Virgil button the shirt back up, a smirk on his face the entire time as he looked at the hickies all over Virgil's chest. Once Logan finished, Virgil handed him the sling and messed with the collar of the shirt, making it stick up so it covered the hickey on his neck. Logan set Virgil's arm and tied the sling for him. Virgil glanced back in the mirror to make sure everything was covered before turning toward the door.

“You ready?” Virgil asked.

"Yes," Logan answered a mischievous spark in his eyes but he grabbed Virgil's hand and unlocked the door for them both to go out into the living room. Virgil followed to see Patton sitting on the couch. Remus was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed casually and Roman was sitting next to him on the arm of the couch. Janus was taking up the rest of the couch by laying across it on his back, arms behind his head. Virgil glanced at the ground anxiously when they walked in and everyone looked at them.

"You guys have fun?" Roman asked with a grin.

Virgil glanced at Logan then back at Roman, his face warm as he nodded. Logan hummed in agreement and fixed Virgil's collar before walking over to Roman and lightly scolding him for sitting on the arm of the couch. Virgil began to fidget with his ring as he nudged Janus out of the way to make space for him to sit on the couch as well, not even registering what Logan had revealed by fixing his collar. Janus sighed and got out of the way before his eyes lit up and an evil smirk crossed his face. 

"So much fun, apparently, Virgil's got a souvenir," Janus teased making everyone else look at them.

Virgil’s face turned an even deeper red, if that was even possible, as he quickly went to stick back up the collar, although he knew it was far too late. Janus had seen, and he would never hear the end of it. 

"As your newly appointed guardian do I have to give you the safety talk?" Janus asked with fake innocence. 

“Nope,” Virgil said, shaking his head as he raised his hand to cover his face. “Nope, not necessary, please don’t.”

"Didn't peg Logan as a bitter," Roman spoke up, receiving a smack in the back of his head from his partner. Virgil just continued to curl in on himself as much as possible, wishing in vain to escape this conversation. Virgil heard a muffled snicker from Remus and felt the couch shift as Patton shifted uncomfortably, but he didn’t look up. "You okay over there, Virge?"

“I hate all of you,” Virgil mumbled into his hand.

"Didn't sound like you hate Logan," Janus pointed out.

“Shut up,” Virgil groaned. God, what he would give to escape this conversation. He would give many things. He would give his combat boots, his eyeshadow. He might even consider giving his copy of the first harry potter book. What he would not give, well, he would not give up what had happened to cause this conversation, that was for sure.

"Hey you're the one that wanted to be my brother," Janus shrugged. "If fucking Patton had been in there instead of you I'd be doing the same damn thing to him."

“Yeah, he would have, sorry kiddo, this is what you get with JJ,” Patton shrugged.

“Yeah I know,” Virgil mumbled. “Yet somehow I still want to be part of your family.”

Eventually, the conversation mercifully moved away from Logan and Virgil and on to planning. Now that they had the wood they just needed to go to Yellowstone for the Huckleberries, along with Virgil still needing a lot of practice, and some more time to heal. Patton told him at least another four weeks, but Virgil chose not to dwell on that. They decided they would leave that evening and drive through the night so their cars wouldn’t be as conspicuous in the dark. They had a little more time, so they decided to do a supply run, and of course, Virgil got stuck going with his annoying older brother, Janus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Feel free to leave a comment, we reply to all of them, and make sure to read saibug's end, Creating Yourself as well. And while we have been a bit funky on posting schedule recently, this is an interlude week and we do have a Roman and a Remus interlude prepared for Wednesday, so see you guys then!!!


	24. Remus is Forgiven :) (Mostly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi kiddos! Here is this weeks interlude, Remus's perspective of being forgiven by Roman and Virgil, it is very bitter sweet. Make sure to read Salem's too for Roman making and planning the promise ring, along with his perspective of forgiving Remus!!  
> Trigger warnings (oh boy, here we go):  
> Suicidal thoughts (PLEASE STAY SAFE, I will mark the parts where they are worst and I will summarize Roman's forgiveness at the end (Virgil's can be found in chapter 22 I believe, feel free to correct me in the comments if I'm wrong) because they are spread throughout, so please use the end notes if you think reading those types of thoughts could risk your safety), Lack of self worth, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, mention of being attacked with a katana, mentions of murder

Remus was working on putting back all the clothes he had thrown all over the place in an attempt to help Patton when he felt a tap on his shoulder, scaring the shit out of him and causing him to jump before he saw who it was and chuckled at himself.

“Shit, Roman, you scared me.” Remus muttered, trying not to wake anyone. He didn’t need anyone any more mad at him. In fact, wait, Roman was mad at him. And he was approaching him while Patton was asleep. Oh shit, oh shit what was he gonna do? He probably deserved anything that Roman did to him, but he still really, really hated seeing Roman mad at him. He chuckled, trying to release some of his tension and failing. “What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you?” Roman muttered. “Outside?”

Shit. Fuck. This couldn’t be good. Oh God he loved Roman so much, he hadn’t meant to hurt him. But he had, and now he was probably gonna get what he deserved.

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure,” Remus nodded to himself, preparing himself for the worst but asking anyways.. “And this is actually a talk? Like, no katana involved? Like, you actually want to talk?”

“I probably deserve that,” Roman admitted. “And yeah, just a talk.”

Oh. Not what Remus was expecting, though it didn’t exactly lessen his nerves. Honestly he’d probably rather be physically stabbed by Roman than fight with him. He hated fighting with his twin so much. He made sure not to let any of this fear or sadness show on his face though as he waved Roman’s concern away, instead forcing himself to focus on the hope and possibility. It was unlikely, and not at all what he deserved, but it was possible that maybe Roman actually just wanted to talk, in a good way.

“Nah, I deserved the katana shit,” Remus said. “Okay, let’s go talk then.” 

Remus couldn’t help glancing at Roman as they walked into the hall, fear and hope welling up inside him in an impossible tangle of emotion. They stopped once they were outside, and Remus forced down the emotions slowly threatening to overwhelm him as he prepared himself for whatever Roman was going to say.

“Sorry I just, I didn’t realize how hard this would be.” Roman said, running a hand over his face in a way that was just so Roman it almost hurt. “I really want to forgive you, Rem. I know you, and I know why, but, but I need to hear you say it. So just...tell me why.”

Oh geez. Well, that was the question, wasn’t it. And it wasn’t an easy one to answer, especially because Remus didn’t even fully know why himself. He had been trying not to hurt people, but in the process he had hurt people more, it didn’t make any sense. But, that had been his reason, however flawed it was.

“At first I didn’t know it was Virgil,” Remus began. “I didn’t know until I saw him in the alleyway. And then… after everything I did to you, after I  _ hurt _ you so much I… I couldn’t bring myself to say it. God, it’s hard enough to admit I’m a murderer, but murdering my twin’s boyfriend’s parents! It’s horrible Roman, I know it is! And I just, I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t hurt you again.” Remus sighed. It had made so much sense when he had told it to himself for years, but now it just sounded weak and pitiful. “But I know that is no excuse. Especially after I promised no more secrets. I’m sorry Roman. I really am so sorry.”

“And the other thing?” Roman asked quietly.

Right. More secrets. More ways Remus had fucked up and ruined everything in his life that he cared about. That was all he could seem to do, no matter how hard he tried.

“Because I was scared and young and stupid and couldn’t let them hurt you.” Remus groaned. “God, I’m as bad as Virgil, throwing Logan into that fucking dome! There was probably another way I was just too naïve to see it! I was scared Roman!” Remus looked at the ground as he desperately tried to blink tears out of his eyes. “I should have found another way. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t think there was one,” Roman admitted. Yeah, that was what Remus told himself for years, but he hadn’t exactly tried that hard to find another way either, had he!? It was just excuses upon excuses, but underneath them all it was Remus’s fault, and nothing would ever change that. All he could do now was be sorry, so that was what he’d do.

“But there should have been!” Remus objected loudly. “I’ve been stuck with this evil cult for two years. I found a way to become a spy, to steal their most important spell, to escape, alive! There has always been another way. Maybe if I had told you, or if I had ran and taken you with me. But no. Now I’m here with a brother that rightfully hates me and blood on my hands that I will never be able to wash off. And it’s my fault. And I’m sorry and I will keep saying that until someday you can believe me.”

“I do,” Roman replied. “I do believe you.”  
Remus’s breath hitched and a tear escaped his eyes, which he wiped quickly away as he looked up at Roman, all the fear from minutes before gone and replaced with an impossible amount of hope for something he wanted so desperately, but would never deserve.

“You… you do?” Remus asked, almost scared of the hope he was feeling.

“Yeah,” Roman confirmed sincerely. “I know you would never intentionally hurt me.”

Remus forgot how to breathe. Literally. He was so shocked that it took him a minute to realize he wasn’t breathing and he had to take a desperate gasp of air before he could speak. Those words...it was what he had told him. Those words Remus had prayed night upon night to a God he didn’t believe in, praying Roman would remember them. Praying Roman would at least try to understand. And...and Roman had remembered. Roman actually believed him.

Maybe...maybe he could have his brother back.

“You… you remember what I said before I left? I… I thought you’d forgotten.”

“Are you kidding?” Roman laughed disbelievingly. “Rem when I first found out about...after the alley I fucking  _ clung _ to that! I didn’t know what to think I didn’t know if I hated you or not so I clung to hating you because that was all I could process. But without what you said, if I didn’t believe that at least part you was the brother I knew I would’ve gone insane.”

He hoped that too. Oh God, he wanted part of him to still be the brother Roman knew too, even if he hadn’t been quite that person for years.

Remus was crying now, trying desperately but failing to stop the flow of tears falling down his face. Oh God Roman...oh God. Maybe he wasn’t going to be alone anymore. Remus had almost forgotten what hope felt like, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to be cared about instead of desperately caring about others and failing to deserve the love in return. And sure, maybe he still didn’t deserve Roman’s forgiveness, but he wanted it, hell, he needed it, so, so much.

“I meant everything I said that day,” Remus said through his tears. “I will never stop trying to be your brother, even though I’m clearly pretty shit at it. Because I love you Roman. I love you more than anything. You’re my better half. I’d be no one without you. I… I  _ need _ you-” Remus cut himself off as he realized something. Roman hadn’t said he forgave Remus. Roman could still be mad, he could still need time. And as much as that would hurt, Remus would respect that. He had to. “But I understand if you need more time. Take as long as you need. I’ll wait.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Roman replied and Remus almost forgot how to breathe again. “I love you too, Remus. So much.” Roman opened his arms and Remus’s tears came faster. “Come here.”

Remus dove into Roman’s arms without hesitation, clinging to him desperately, as if Roman was the last thing keeping him here. Which, honestly, he was. Remus wasn’t  _ sure _ he would have done something but...if he had had to live, being hated no matter how hard he tried, hurting people at every turn, for much longer...it was really possible. So, he clung to Roman, apologies spilling from his lips frantically as he reminded Roman again and again how much he loved him, how he had never stopped loving him, never meant to hurt him, and always was and would be his brother, no matter what happened. Roman pulled him closer and Remus just continued to cling to him, unable to stop crying as Roman began to run a hand through Remus's hair.

“Sun goes down,” Roman suddenly began singing, and Remus choked on his tears. He remembered this song. “And we are here together. Fireflies, glow like a thousand charms.”

This was the song Roman would sing to him when Remus was scared. Those early years in the cult when Remus’s intrusive thoughts picked up more, suddenly burying him in these imaginary worlds that were not at all good. Suddenly forcing him to replay killing the Eriksons, each version more gruesome than the last. Thoughts bringing in the demon, or, the worst ones, the ones where Roman got hurt.

And when those worst ones would come, Remus would crawl into Roman’s bed, just to remind himself that his brother, his twin, his other half, was still safe, was still alive.

And when that happened, Roman would sing the lullaby he wrote for Remus. This lullaby.

So, like so many of those nights, Remus let himself cry. He let the memories of all the things that he had done in attempt to keep Roman safe wash over him, along with all the intrusive thoughts that came with them. He let himself really feel the fear and the sadness and the self hatred for the first time in so long, using their song to ground him.

“Stay with me,” Roman continued to sing. “And you can dream forever, right here in my arms.”

Remus attempted to catch his breath and calm himself down, gasping for air as he continued to cling to Roman. He could tell Roman’s voice was shaky too. Maybe Roman had actually missed him too.

“Sounds of day fade away. Stars begin to climb. Melodies fill the breeze, sweeter all the time.”

As Remus began to catch his breath he was able to hum along with Roman, which helped steady his breath even more, and bring him back to the real world, which suddenly wasn’t anywhere near as bad as it had been just an hour before. Because he wasn’t alone anymore. He had Roman.

“My love is always with you, whether near or far. How sweet, it feels to hold you right here in my arms.” Roman took a breath in again, singing the last word quietly: “Tonight.”

A smile bloomed on Remus’s face, bigger than he had smiled in so, so long. He sniffled as he pulled back slightly so he could see Roman’s face. The face of the brother he had thought he’d lost, but now realized would never truly be gone. Because as much as he loved Roman, Roman loved him too, even when he fucked up bad, Roman loved him. And Remus would always have that.

“Thank you, Ro.” Remus said quietly. “Thank you.” Roman laughed a little and Remus tilted his head slightly in confusion.

“Sorry, I just can’t believe you’re thanking me after I tried to charge you with a katana.  _ Twice _ .”

**[Suicidal thoughts are bad here!]**

“I mean I would have let you, I kinda deserve it.” Remus admitted with a shrug.

Roman’s eyes widened as Remus realized what he had said. Shit. Oh God no, he didn’t want to make Roman think, no! Roman had helped him so much and sure maybe it could have gotten to that point but it wasn’t there yet! It hadn’t gotten quite as bad as last time!

“What?” Roman said. “Remus, no. I was pissed yes but, but you don’t deserve to  _ die _ .”

Remus glazed at the floor, ashamed, and upset he had even said anything. God, he had to stop doing this shit! He was gonna have to buy a book about how to have a conversation without accidentally saying something to hurt someone, seriously, why did this keep happening!?

“I mean, it’s not like I was planning on doing anything. I just wouldn’t have stopped you. It’s okay though. I’m okay.”

“Oh thank God,” Roman sighed in relief and Remus let out a little breath too as Roman’s head fell onto his shoulder for a moment. Then Roman cupped Remus’s face in his hands, forcing Remus to meet his eyes. “Remus, no matter how pissed I get you are always my brother. No, you’re my fucking twin. You’re part of me. I will never want you to actually…” Roman trailed off and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Remus muttered for probably the millionth time that evening. “It wasn’t you though. Don’t blame yourself. I’ve been on and off this path ever since Virgil’s parents I just… the looks on their faces, Roman… the  _ fear _ that I caused. But I’ll be okay. Especially now that I have you again.”

**[The worst is** **over, but please be safe and use the summary in the end notes if necessary]**

“I know you will,” Roman nodded. “Because you are the strongest damn person I know.”

Yeah right.

“Yeah, sure,” Remus scoffed. “Cause lying to you for years and participating in a demon worshipping cult against my will is so fucking strong.”

“Nope,” Roman agreed. “Doing all that, making impossible decisions, saving my life, probably on multiple occasions, risking your life to help us end this shit, and coming through not only alive but still you? That’s what makes you strong.”

Sure, maybe, but...but Remus wasn’t the same. He honestly wasn’t sure if he still was him. He could barely remember who he was before this, let alone if he was still him.

“Am I still me though?” Remus voiced his fear quietly, part of him hoping Roman wouldn’t hear, not wanting to burden his brother anymore. But part of him also hoping he would hear, needing the reassurance from the one person he knew still loved him, no matter what.

“If you weren’t I wouldn’t be standing here talking to you,” Roman replied.

“Okay, yeah, I guess,” Remus said, trying to convince himself more than anything, as he wiped even more tears from his face. “Just, I may need to be reminded of that occasionally cause sometimes… sometimes it feels like they changed me. And that…that scares me more than anything.”

“They probably did a little bit, but you’ll always be my Remus,” Roman promised.

“Yeah, I will,” Remus smiled. That was one thing no amount of self deprecating depression could convince him of, because he knew no matter how much he changed, no matter how dark his mind went, he would always,  _ always _ be there for Roman. And he had another reason to be there for Roman now too, one that actually didn’t have to do with murder, cults or demons! Well, actually, it did have to do with demons, but whatever! “And as your Remus, I am going to help you make your boyfriend the best fucking amulet ever!”

“I wanted to talk to you about that too actually,” Roman admitted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Oh, Remus knew that look. It was the same look Roman got when trying to decide if he should tell Virgil he had a crush on him. Then again when he wanted to tell Virgil he loved him. Remus could help with that look. “I had this idea, but honestly it might be kind of stupid.”

“Okay, what is it?” Remus asked.

“We don’t make an amulet...we make a promise ring.”

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” Remus exclaimed, the people sleeping inside the room completely forgotten. “That is SO ADORABLE! We absolutely fucking have to do that! Oh my God yes!”

“Okay keep it down before Logan throws us both into a wall for waking the others,” Roman scolded, but he was laughing so Remus decided it didn’t count. “And you don’t think it’s too soon? I mean we did get kind of half-engaged but still.”

“Wait HOLD UP!” Remus stopped him there. His  _ twin _ had gotten  _ half-engaged _ and Remus didn’t know about it!? Now that was just illegal! “Did I hear the word ENGAGED!? I NEED DETAILS!”

“Okay breathe,” Roman said, laughing as he grabbed Remus’s arms so he couldn’t gesture everywhere excitedly, which should also be illegal. “And I said  _ half _ engaged. He’s sixteen, dude.”

“Yeah yeah whatever, just spill already!” Remus bounced excitedly. 

“Well we were talking about Virgil deciding for Janus to adopt him right? And he asked if it bothered me and I obviously said no because it has nothing to do with me. But then he said it did because it meant Janus would one day be my guardian-in-law.”

“Oh my God, VIRGIL SAID THAT!” Remus squealed. “The couldn’t even say ‘I love you’ Virgil. Are we talking about the same person here!?”

“I know!” Roman exclaimed. “But you know how oblivious I am and how long ago I realized he was the one, so I just fucking went with it because I didn’t realize what he was saying or what I was saying. Then I had a fucking heart attack because, well, obviously.”

“Well yeah,” Remus nodded excitedly. He’d finally get to bring out the wedding binder he’d made! Oh, this was going to be amazing! “Oh my God I can’t believe this is finally happening I can finally actually show you the wedding binder! But, finish the story first! What else happened!?”

“Well we were, I kid you not, walking on the beach and I apologized because after I said that he looked seriously freaked out. Then he asked if I meant it and I said yes and asked if that was okay and Rem he said yes. And it gets better-, wait did you say wedding binder?”

“Oh don’t worry about that now!” Remus was absolutely  _ not _ letting Roman get side tracked right now. “Cause I don’t know how this can get better so you HAVE TO FUCKING TELL ME RIGHT NOW!!”

“Okay, okay!” Roman was grinning so wide and Remus was smiling too. “Well on the way back he told me his decision and I asked why and he got that stutter he gets when he’s embarrassed. Remus he said he made the choice by thinking WHO HE WANTS TO WALK HIM DOWN THE AISLE AT OUR WEDDING!”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD HE DIDN'T!?” Remus screeched, jumping up and down in his excitement. “HOW DID I MISS THAT ON MY GOD! WHERE DID THIS VIRGIL COME FROM!? I LOVE HIM! PERFECT BROTHER IN LAW!”

“You know I’m marrying him not you, right?” Roman laughed. Oh, Remus knew that. He actually had another boy in mind, although he had kinda fucked that up too...but HIS TWIN WAS BASICALLY ENGAGED ASKJFEHWGFKJLRGL! “Holy shit he wants to marry me!”

“Well of course he does!” Remus said. “You’re fucking amazing!”

“So you think we can do a ring then?” Roman asked.

“I mean, the powers are in the stone, so it should have the same effect,” Remus considered it. As long as Virgil was wearing the stone in some way, it should protect him, so a ring would work. They just had to figure out how to make it.... “We will want to stop at a jewelry making store or something probably to get supplies. Maybe even put in another stone that is purple or black cause it’s Virgil? I dunno, it’s your ring, up to you, just brainstorming here. We just want to make sure there is enough amber to keep him safe.”

“Of course,” Roman nodded. “I can almost guarantee we woke up someone, so let’s go get the murder from your boyfriend over with so I can go to sleep.”

Murder from Logan, who was not his boyfriend. Yeah, sounded about right considering how mad he was at Remus and how much Remus had fucked up...but no, he was done being sad right now. He had hit his sad quota for like, the next few years, and now he finally had something to be happy about, so he was going to focus on that. He even forced a chuckle to prove it.

“Yeah, okay. We can get started on the ring tomorrow. We should try to get it done as soon as possible, because I don’t think any of us want that demon getting anywhere near Virgil’s head again.”

“He touches any of you again I’m going to take him out myself,” Roman growled. “Now let’s go or I’m falling asleep in this hallway.”

“Okay, okay,” Remus laughed and wrapped an arm around Roman, something he hadn’t been able to do in way too long. “Let’s go.”

**Transitions are for the weak, so here's a jump to Virgil forgiving Remus a couple days later:**

They were stopping yet again for Virgil to walk some and them all to stretch, because now everyone, not just Remus, felt the pure terror he felt at just the mention of true Hissy Virgil. He just hoped he chose Logan instead of Roman this time, because that was really tense and awkward, and Remus often ended up hiding back in the car before Virgil and Roman even returned.

He was absolutely not expecting Virgil to choose him though.

“Can Remus walk with me this time?” Virgil asked.

**[Reference to past suicudal thoughts]**

“Are you sure that’s a good idea kiddo…?” Patton pointed out, glancing between Virgil and Remus nervously. Yeah, Pat, you’re not the only one that’s nervous here. He literally  _ murdered _ Virgil's  _ parents _ . And while a couple days ago he wouldn’t have minded Virgil killing him in return, he had Roman back now, so he kinda didn’t want to be murdered by a kid half his size today.

**[That should be it for this section, basically Remus thought that he didn't want Virgil to kill him now that he has Roman back. Stay safe fanders!]**

“Yes Patton,” Virgil sighed. “I promise not to kill him.”

Remus tried to shove down his hope, but he couldn’t help but notice the similarities to this and when Roman asked to talk. Could that be what Virgil wanted to do? It seemed possible…

No, don’t get your hopes up, Remus. He probably just wants to yell at you or something, that’s all. Virgil looked at Remus and rolled his eyes.

“You comin or not?” Virgil asked.

“I’m coming!” Remus replied quickly, jogging slightly to catch up with Virgil, who didn’t wait for him at all before beginning to walk down the road.

While Remus wasn’t sure what Virgil would say, if it would be good or bad, or anything of that sort, he had to admit he had expected the tiny emo to say  _ something _ . So he was reasonably confused when a good five minutes into the walk, Virgil hadn’t said a word. Obviously Remus wasn't gonna be the first to speak, so he just walked alongside Virgil in silence, hoping Virgil didn’t change his mind and decide to set him on fire or something.

“I’m not gonna lie,” Virgil finally said. “I’m pissed off at you.”

Right, okay, not Virgil forgiving him then. And this was exactly why Remus always forced himself not to get too hopeful. Remus swallowed his disappointment and braced himself for any yelling or magic to come.

“That’s fair,” Remus admitted. Maybe he could get a few words in before Virgil started tearing him apart. “I mean, I did fucking murder your parents.”

Okay, maybe not those words.

“But you saved Roman,” Virgil pointed out. 

Okay, now Remus was even more confused. Was Virgil going to yell at him? Was this just going to be an awkward conversation? Was Virgil just this shitty at trying to forgive someone? Not that Remus could blame him, but still, he was confused! What was happening!? Well, since Remus didn’t know what was happening, he figured he might as well just treat it as a conversation until proven otherwise.

“Yeah, but I hurt you in the process,” Remus sighed, knowing Virgil had every right to be mad at him and just wondering why he wasn’t being yelled at yet. “Sure, I may have had an okay reason, but that doesn’t make what I did okay. It was wrong and it hurt you and I’m so sorry Virgil. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know,” Virgil sighed. “I know you’re sorry, so you don’t have to keep saying it. Because, well…”

Virgil trailed off, giving Remus just enough time to wonder if this ‘because’ was a ‘because there’s no point I’m gonna be pissed at you forever’ or a ‘I’m forgiving you’ thing. He didn’t have quite enough time to panic though, as soon, Virgil answered that question.

“Because I’m trying to forgive you.” Virgil said, looking up at the sky instead of at Remus.

Holy shit. 

“You are?” Remus asked before he could stop himself. “I literally fucking  _ murdered _ your parents then lied about it for weeks and you want to try and forgive me? Why?”

Jesus, he was acting like he didn’t even want Virgil to forgive him! God, why was he like this! While he didn’t think he deserved Virgil’s forgiveness, he still wanted it!

“You did it for Roman,” Virgil shrugged. “And I love Roman so, so much. And he loves you. I can’t let my anger tear you guys apart, and I just… I can’t wish you hadn’t done it. I’m upset that you did it, but I can’t wish for it to have gone differently because… well, because then I wouldn’t have Roman. And I can’t carry around that anger with me forever. So, I have to try. I have to try to let it go.”

Great. Brilliant. Now Remus was crying again! Virgil looked at Remus and he tried desperately to keep tears from falling.

“Thank you,” Remus murmured. “Thank you for… for understanding. Even if you’re angry.”

“Believe it or not I’m not just a heartless dark emo,” Virgil scoffed. “But it still may take me a bit to move on. I understand but you still… you still took something away from me. I’m never going to get to meet my birth parents again, as the person I am today and… I can’t just let go of that fact that easily. But I’m going to try.”

Okay, now Remus was even more confused, which he didn’t think was possible until this moment. What did Virgil mean, he couldn’t meet his birth parents again? Like, yeah, obviously it wouldn’t be the same, but he knew he could still talk to them, right?

“You…” Remus blinked at Virgil. “I know it’s not the same but… you do realize you  _ can _ talk to them, right? Like, you can meet them again. You don’t have to give up on that.”

“What are you talking about?” Virgil laughed. “You do realize I can’t talk to dead people, right?”

Oh. Wait, what? He...what? But he...he could! What the fuck?

“Um, but you can talk to dead people?” Remus countered.

“Okay what the hell are you fucking talking about!?” Virgil stopped walking and turned to Remus. Had Remus actually not told him...no, Remus was sure he had told him. Maybe not specifically, but he did tell Virgil he could talk to more than demons, he knew it!

“Your abilities,” Remus replied, trying to jog Virgil’s memory.

“Let me talk to demons and sense magical energy,” Virgil said. Nooooooooooo.

“Let you talk to demons and shit,” Remus corrected. “That is what I said, right?”

Virgil seemed to think about it before shaking his head.

“I can’t remember,” Virgil admitted. 

“Well, then remember now,” Uhg, shit, he really hoped this went better than the last time he told Virgil this. He kneeled down slightly to be at Virgil’s eye level, hoping that would somehow make the information easier to absorb. “You can talk to demons  _ and shit _ . That last part includes basically all magical beings, including ghosts. You can talk to ghosts, Virgil.”

And, Remus knew Virgil well enough to know that now he was panicking and spiraling. Shit, Remus was not the person to help with this!

“V, you okay?” Remus asked, trying desperately to get Virgil out of his head..

“Yep, I’m fucking brilliant,” Virgil sighed. “Whatever, my fault for not listening the first time you told me this shit. Anyways, I’m working on forgiving you, and at some point when my brain processes this shit you’re showing me how to find my parents ghosts.”

“Of course,” Remus agreed. It was his fault they were ghosts to begin with, he figured it was kind of a given he would help Virgil reunite with them. “I will do absolutely anything to help regain your trust and earn your forgiveness Virgil. I mean it.”

Virgil nodded and turned to begin walking to the car, and Remus should let that be it. He  _ knew _ he should but he just...he had to know. He placed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder to stop him, and Virgil stopped walking.

“Virgil,” Remus hesitated, but he figured it was too late to change his mind now. “How is Logan?”

“Not great,” Virgil admitted after a moment. “He’s calling his abilities ‘powers’ again and he just… hasn’t been the same since he found out that you lied to him. I think he misses you but um… don’t push him, okay? He needs space from you I just… I hope he comes back to you eventually Remus. I may not have fully forgiven you but… I'm rooting for you here.”

Great, now he was crying. Again. He had done that to Logan. He had created such a giant mess of their relationship and he just didn’t know how to fix it, no matter how much he wanted to. But Virgil had just given him the answer, no matter how much Remus hated it. He had to give Logan space. 

At least it was nice to know Roman and Virgil were on his side though.

Remus wiped the tears off his face as they continued walking back to the car. They were quiet for a while but Remus just felt bad. He felt like he owed Virgil...something. He wasn’t sure what. Maybe, more answers? It wouldn’t hurt to offer, at least, even though it would really hurt to tell.

“So, is there anything you want to ask me about…” Remus trailed off.

“Not right now,” Virgil replied. “But um… maybe at some point.”

Remus nodded, relieved. He would have been willing to give the answers, sure, but it wouldn’t have been fun. They were quiet for another minute before Virgil spoke again.

“So by magical beings…” Virgil started. “What all does that mean? What other things are there that I can communicate with? Other than ghosts and demons.”

“Well,” Remus smiled, knowing full well Virgil was choosing to ask him despite having other options. Clearly Virgil was telling the truth when he said he wanted to forgive Remus. “You know about demons, which are basically monsters from another dimension. On the other end we have fairies, so you could also talk to them. Along the same line of ghosts there are poltergeists. There are also basilisks which are basically harmless, along with bowtruckles, mermaids, nymphs, phoenixes, pegasi, unicorns, hippogriffs, hippocampi, kappas, kelpies, skinwalkers and nifflers.”

“Oh my God, nifflers!?” Virgil exclaimed. “Oh my God those are so cute I’ve seen pictures! Can we find one?”

“Yeah okay,” Remus chuckled. “Oh, shit, I forgot. Bigfoot’s real too.”

“WHAT!?” Virgil yelled. “I CAN TALK TO FUCKING BIGFOOT!?”

“Yes,” Remus cackled, relieved at Virgil’s excitement. “Not sure you’ll ever get to considering he is one creature in the entire world, but yes, you do have that ability, and yes, he is real.”

“Imma be honest normally I’d be so fucking overwhelmed by all this shit but I’m so stuck on bigfoot and nifflers I don’t even have the brain power left to be overwhlmed.” Virgil was laughing now too, and Remus had to pause when Virgil stopped to catch his breath. “I really missed a lot with that ‘and shit’ I guess.”

Remus smiled as they finished making their way back to the cars. His relationship with Virgil was far from perfect, or even good, honestly, but Remus thought, maybe someday, with some work, it could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!! Feel free to leave a comment, and we'll see you on sunday!! Also, for those of you who didn't read the chapter, here is a summary:
> 
> Roman's forgiveness:
> 
> Roman brought Remus into the hallway and asked why Remus lied to him. Remus explained that it (being the murder of Virgil's parents) was because he didn't want to hurt Roman anymore but admitted that that was no excuse for what he did. Roman also asked about why he kept being in the cult a secret, and Remus explained that it was because he was scared and he just wanted to keep Roman safe, though he claimed there was probably a better way, and Roman disagreed, which shocked Remus.   
> That was the big jump into where Roman really forgave him, because Remus said that one day he hoped Roman would believe how sorry he was, and Roman said he believed him. Then, here comes cuteness, Roman quoted what Remus said at the very beginning of the fic when he left Roman right before the sleep and said he'd never intentionally hurt Roman. So, Roman quoted it, saying "I know you'd never intentionally hurt you". Remus started crying and told Roman to take all the time he needed, but Roman said he didn't need anymore time and they hugged.   
> Roman sang the song to Remus that he wrote to sing to Remus in the night when his intrusive thoughts got really bad, and Remus cried, and Roman cried, and it was extremely wholesome. After that Remus thanked him and Roman thought that was funny considering he tried to stab Remus with a katana twice. This was where the thoughts got bad, as Roman realized Remus had gotten very suicidal again (we find out this has happened before) and is all worried, but Remus reassures him. Roman says Remus is strong for still being Remus after everything, and Remus questions if he really is the same person. Roman admitted that maybe the cult did change Remus a bit, but he'd still always be "my Remus".   
> That was where the bittersweet forgiveness kind of ended, as then they talked about the promise ring and Virgil admitting he wanted to marry Roman, and Remus starts yelling in excitement and it's really cute. Then they go back inside the hotel room, and that part ends.
> 
> Virgil's forgiveness is done from Virgil's perspective in...chapter 22??? I think??? Anyways, read it there if you need, and if you'd like a summary from Remus's perspective, let me know in the comments and I'd be happy to write one, but even so I skimmed Remus's perspective and I marked a paragraph for those thoughts, but other than that I think you guys should be okay, but if you're still worried, just make sure to play it safe!!
> 
> As always, stay safe kiddos, and I'll see you all on sunday!!!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Kiddos!  
> So...I got a little carried away with projection in this chapter, but it's too late now, so here you go.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Extreme pain, self deprecation, discussion of changing last names, little bit of dissociation, hypersensitivity  
> I think that's it??? I feel like that can't be it but also I can't think of anything else, so just lmk if I missed anything!!!  
> Also, fyi, we do not know spanish, so sorry for any mistakes in this chapter or future ones, we just used google translate. Also I'm not even sure if there is spanish on my end, but there definitely is on Salem's and I was too lazy to look, so you get that warning anyways.  
> Also, last thing I swear, there is a Remus one shot for this chapter, which is his perspective of something that happens on Salem's end, so make sure to read that!!

Virgil was not going to admit to Janus how sore his shoulder was. For two reasons. One, Janus would tease him until he was six feet under the ground. And two, the pain did kind of remind him of some good memories from earlier… so he wasn’t complaining.

He did wince slightly when he moved though, despite trying not to. He didn’t even try to drive this time, knowing Janus would call him out on his bullshit, so he just sat down in the passenger seat of Logan’s car while he waited for Janus. Janus climbed into the front seat with the remnants of a smirk still on his face. Virgil didn’t say anything as he spun the ring on his finger, worried about what teasing remark was coming his way.

Janus suddenly snickered to himself as he pulled the car out of the parking lot. “In all seriousness, did you enjoy yourself?”

Virgil tucked his chin into his collar to hide his red face and gave a small nod. He was a little surprised by Janus’s comment actually being slightly older brother like and not just him being a bitch like normal. It wasn’t a bad thing though.

“What was that?” Janus prompted innocently. Virgil groaned. There the bitch was.

“Yes!” Virgil said. “And before you ask, no, we didn’t do anything.” Might as well say it before Janus asked, because Virgil knew he would.

“Can you blame me for asking?” Janus quirked an eyebrow and gestured to his neck.

Virgil just ducked his head even further. He loved Janus, he really did, but why did he have to be so mean to him!? He adjusted his bangs to cover his face and continued to spin his ring, loving the feeling of the cool metal against his finger.

“Not trying to be a bitch for once,” Janus laughed. “Just making sure. Look I’ll see if we can find a nice set of like charcoal pencils or something to make up for it, what do you think?”

Virgil still couldn’t draw because of his shoulder, and that sucked. But still, the offer filled Virgil with warmth. He had a brother now, one that would tease him and offer to get him art supplies because he supported Virgil’s hobbies, even if he had never really seen his art other than a simple piece of line art. Virgil glanced up at Janus shyly from under his bangs and thought about the art he had drawn of Janus. Specifically the one where he had made his scar into scales. Especially now that they knew it was actually a scar and not a birthmark. A scar his parents had given him. He had never shown anyone his art but he suddenly felt the urge to share it with his older brother. Maybe not now but… someday.

“I’d like that.” Virgil said with a small smile.

Janus gave him a smile and pulled into a shopping center with multiple parking lots and roads connecting them all. He pulled up to a Target and parked in the fire lane because Janus was just like that.

“Seriously? The fire lane?” Virgil scoffed. He looked around and noticed a lot of other stores in the area. There were a few beauty stores and pet stores further down on the side they were on. Across a small street there was a Bob Evans and further down…a Michaels store. Had Janus planned this? Virgil smiled to himself at the thought.

“Normally I’d have you use the handicap but I figured why not?” Janus shrugged.

Oh. Janus had parked here for Virgil. Because of his shoulder. God, how could Janus be so bitchy yes so considerate and supportive at the same time? Virgil wasn’t sure, but he loved it.

“Oh.” Virgil said.

“Yeah ‘oh’,” Janus scoffed. “Now come on, I have the braincell and if we don’t get back soon the others are probably gonna fucking challenge Fove to a duel or something.”

Damn, Logan had really given Janus the braincell for this? He must be even more overprotective of Virgil than he thought.

Virgil rolled his eyes but got out of the car and shuffled toward the entrance. He had developed this shuffle since his injury, finding that if he didn’t pick up his feet as much then the sudden shift of setting them down wouldn’t cause as much pain. Janus handed him the list Patton had scribbled out for them like he couldn’t be bothered with it as the doors opened for them. Virgil didn’t mind, as it helped give him something to do and be in charge of other than magic, and he was always looking for ways to do that in this group.

“First thing on the list is bread, then some canned soups, peanut butter and honey, basically all this shit we normally get, along with some stuff for Remus, Patton and I to cook baked mac and cheese” Virgil gave a one shoulder shrug. “Also bandages and shit cause I’m basically consuming all our first aid supplies.”

“This is true,” Janus agreed. “Fuck why are all Targets organized different? Guess we’re going on a whole ass quest.”

Virgil chuckled. Janus grabbed a cart and they headed in. He walked past a dollar section and glanged around. He saw what looked like a grocery section down the aisle to the right. He shoved the list in his pocket and grabbed Janus’s sleeve without thinking, keeping him close. They were about a five minute drive from where they were staying and where Logan was, so it wasn’t horrible, but just enough to make him uncomfortable. He could feel slight strengthening and loosening in the tether as him and Logan moved around, and he needed Janus close to avoid even more discomfort. Janus narrowed his eyes at him as they walked but didn’t say anything yet. It was always a yet with him.

They wandered around the grocery section, eventually finding bread and the canned goods aisle. They threw a bunch of random soups into the cart before going to look for the peanut butter. Every time Janus leaned away to grab something off a shelf Virgil’s grip would tighten and he would take a small step toward Janus. He tried to stop himself from doing it, but he hadn’t been this type of distance from Logan in weeks, and it was making him hyper aware of every little bit of magic around him and it was extremely uncomfortable. Eventually Janus sighed and dropped the honey in the cart before turning to Virgil. He got the impression he’d be crossing his arms if one of them wasn’t currently Virgil’s hostage.

“Okay what’s up with you?” Janus demanded.

“Nothing,” Virgil replied on instinct. He felt Janus’s powers flare at the lie and flinched hard, gripping Janus’s sleeve even tighter in his fist.

“Seriously?” Janus deadpanned.

“Haven’t been this far from Logan for a while…” Virgil admitted, glancing at the ground. God, he was such a baby. He should feel better when Logan was far enough that it wasn’t painful but it just felt wrong. He was uncomfortable but he shouldn’t feel like that. He should either be able to feel a sharp painful tugging or that warm comfort, not this weird in between. It didn’t feel right. “Feels weird. Just kinda hyper aware of magic cause of it I guess.”

“Well just tell me next time and I’ll stick close on my own,” Janus sighed. “You don’t have to fucking hide it. I’m a bitch but not that kind of bitch. If it makes you feel better though you can still hold on to my sleeve. I don’t mind, just worried about you.”

“Okay,” Virgil nodded. “Sorry, I should have told you. I’ve just gotten pretty good at dealing with it on my own… I just don’t like to make a big deal out of it.” Virgil didn’t let go of Janus’s sleeve, accepting his brother's offer as he stayed so close he was nearly leaning on him.

“Idea,” Janus said. He moved around the cart, pulling Virgil with him, and pushed all the food they’d found to the front and also collapsed the baby seat in the back. Virgil glanced at Janus, utterly baffled and confused. Then Janus pointed to the cart and said: “Get in.”

Virgil just looked at Janus for a moment before losing his grip on Janus’s sleeve. This wasn’t actually a bad idea. It may make Virgil feel even more like a baby, but if he sat back against the cart then he’d be right near Janus, not needing to worry about holding him close because he knew Janus would be right there.

Virgil let go of his sleeve entirely so he could use his right hand for balance as he stepped up onto the bottom rack of the cart. Janus’s hand appeared on his back and the other on his good shoulder to help him get up and in. Virgil swung his legs over the cart one at a time then settled against the back so his head was resting just above the baby seat. He pressed himself as far back as he could and he could feel Janus’s presence behind him as he went to push the cart once more. Janus ruffled his hair before continuing through the aisles to grab the last few food items they needed, meaning a lot of cheese, some pasta, even some milk which they hadn’t gotten since this started, and bread crumbs to make whatever fancy recipe Remus had.

At the end of the main aisle was a holiday section filled with valentines day decorations so they turned away from it and continued. They were heading past a toy section when Janus stopped. Janus turned the cart into the aisle and grabbed something off the shelf. He threw it in with Virgil and continued on as if nothing had happened.

Virgil looked at the item curiously. It was a small, toddler sized owl backpack with a leash, like those ones you see moms holding their toddlers on when you wonder if that child is being abused.

“Um, why?” Virgil asked, still extremely confused.

“For Logan,” Janus answered simply.

For… Logan? Okay, now Virgil was even more confused. Logan was not a potentially abused toddler, so why did he need a backpack leash? This just… this made no sense. Janus made no sense. Virgil sighed, setting the backpack back with the other items and deciding to not ask anymore questions, knowing Janus’s answers would probably just confuse him further.

Janus turned left down a center aisle and they came back out near the cosmetics, with the pharmacy section just a little further down. Janus pushed them in that direction then turned down an aisle with bandages and gauze and shit. Janus grabbed the nice on brand bandages and crap that were more expensive than the rest, though that didn’t really matter. 

“Are you running low on pain meds?” Janus asked.

“I would be if Patton let me take as many as I want to,” Virgil muttered. “But no, I’m good.”

“Cool,” Janus nodded and they moved on. On the way out they paused in the nail polish section and Janus grabbed a light blue nail polish and a top coat.

“What’s that for?” Virgil asked curiously. He knew Remus had made the request for cooking, and they had asked everyone else for theirs, Logan saying he was fine with the books on his phone and Janus denying Roman’s request for a ukulele, but no one had said anything about nail polish.

“Patton,” Janus answered. “He hasn’t painted his nails in a while and he was a little disappointed when the stuff from before this finally came off, so I figured why the fuck not.”

How was Janus such the perfect brother? Virgil just couldn't believe that he had this amazing person as his brother now. “That’s sweet, maybe we can make a little party out of it?” Virgil wasn’t sure where this suggestion had come from, but he was going for it. “We can grab some purple and whatever your favorite color is, yellow, right? Then we can have like, I dunno… a brothers night type thing.”

“I didn’t even think of that,” Janus said, immediately doubling back to grab purple, yellow, and black as well. “Also I didn’t realize you knew what my favorite color was. I haven’t exactly worn anything other than black since the Sleep started.”

“I heard you mention it once and I just kinda filed it away for future reference, y’know, with my art and stuff.” Virgil gave a one shoulder shrug, feeling kind of embarrassed. He just hoped Janus found it sweet and not creepy or anything.

“That is adorable,” Janus teased and ruffled Virgil’s hair again. Virgil glanced up at Janus and grinned. “That’s everything unless you have any ideas for your dumbass boyfriend. I’m not getting him a ukulele, I’m dealing with enough as it is.”

“Actually, go ahead and grab red too.” Virgil suggested. He knew it wouldn’t be perfect, but Roman always liked playing with makeup and stuff, so maybe he’d enjoy some nail polish. Janus grabbed the color and handed it to Virgil with the others. 

“To Michaels then,” Janus declared and pushed the cart to the front of the store. Virgil couldn’t hide his excitement as he bounced slightly in his seat, causing a jolt of pain in his shoulder which he chose to ignore. Janus was smiling down at him softly and Virgil stopped bouncing, embarrassed. “You’re good bro, it’s cute, you little nerd.”

Virgil beamed up at Janus. “I can’t wait to be able to draw again, I’m so excited!” Virgil couldn’t contain himself as he began bouncing again, just slightly though to avoid ending up in too much more pain.

“Warning you now, I don’t know shit,” Janus said. “You’re gonna have to tell me what the good shit is, I’m not getting the mediocre bullshit for you.”

“I mean I don’t need anything fancy, I have a couple pencils in my bag…” Virgil trailed off. Janus was just being so sweet to him, he didn’t know what to think about it. He had good parents other than the fact that they were liars, but he wasn’t used to anyone outside of them caring about him like this and valuing his hobbies the way Janus was doing. 

“Yeah but you should have nice stuff for the house,” Janus pointed out nonchalantly.

There were absolutely no tears on Virgil’s face. Absolutely not. He just… he couldn’t believe it. He had a family to return to after this! People who were safe and loved him and didn’t lie to him. People that wanted to keep him happy, who wanted to live in a house with him where he would draw. He had a family who appreciated him and wanted to spend time with him to the point where they wanted to live with him, to legally be family.

Virgil frantically wiped away his tears, hoping Janus didn’t notice as he tried to compose the emotions rising in his chest. Janus cursed and stopped the cart so he could come to the side of the cart and look at him. 

“Shit, Oreo, are you okay?” Janus cursed again. “Fuck did I say something?”

Virgil was shaking his head quickly at Janus’s second question. “No, no, you didn’t say anything. I’m okay I just… I’m really happy Janus. We’re… we’re gonna be brothers.”

“Oh thank God,” Janus sighed in relief and leaned against the side of the cart so he could brush Virgil’s bangs out of his eyes. He even wiped away some of his tears. “And I’m happy too kid. I’m happy too.”

Virgil shifted and grinned up at Janus, so sure of his next words it almost scared him, but he didn’t care. “I love you, Janus.”

“Damn it now I have to figure out a way to hug you,” Janus muttered, his eyes shining as well. Virgil shifted up onto his knees so he could reach Janus over the edge of the cart and leaned toward him. Janus hauled him into his arms and Virgil held him as tightly as he could with his one arm, leaning into his older brother as he melted into his embrace. “I love you too, lil bro.”

They stayed in that position for a while, but eventually Virgil’s knees began to object to the metal frame of the shopping cart digging into them, so he had to let go and sit back down. He immediately missed the warmth of his big brother’s embrace and wrapped his right arm around himself to try and make up for it. Janus stayed leaned on the side and had a hand on his shoulder. 

“Actually me and Pat had an idea we wanted to bring up with you,” Janus started. “Seems like a good time.”

“Okay,” Virgil said. He wasn’t worried, surprisingly. Something in him just knew that whatever it was wouldn’t change their relationship. He wasn’t going to lose his family, no matter what his anxiety told him, so he wasn’t worried. “What’s up?”

“When we move out we’re gonna change our last name,” He told him. “Ebony.”

“Oh that’s cool! That wood is like super powerful for defense spells and dispelling dark magic and shit. That’s really fitting after all of this.” Virgil was smiling as he spoke before he realized something and his smile fell. What last name was he going to take? He wanted to keep Erikson to acknowledge his parents' sacrifice and his past, but he wanted to be part of Patton and Janus’s family. He wanted to share their last name. Shit.

“Calm down,” Janus said, an easy smile still on his face, the calm bastard. “Patton already came up with an idea for you. We didn’t want to ask you to change your name, so Patton brought up that since you’re already going to change your last name, well, maybe you could hyphenate?”

“That’s…” Virgil thought it over. That actually wasn’t a bad idea. He had never thought he would hyphenate but circumstances had changed. “That’s actually a good idea. I like that. Damn, I started with Tempest and now I have some crazy long hyphenated name, I’m gonna have to relearn how to sign my own name.”

“Oh shit same,” Janus realized. “I’ve been writing ‘Dee’ on shit since I was a freshman. Can I take back all the growth shit?”

“Nope, I like having a brother.” Virgil declared, leaving no room for compromise. 

So, he was going to have a hyphenated last name. Now he just had to figure out which way to hyphenate it. It wasn’t like one name was more important than the other, so that wouldn’t determine which would go first, and he didn’t want anyone to think that either, so he had to find a logical way to go about this. Maybe alphabetical order? They both started with an E, but he could go by the second letters, B and R. Virgil Ebony-Erikson. Not bad. A bit of a mouthful compared to what he was used to, but he kinda liked it.

“And I like having two,” Janus promised. “Do you already know how you’re gonna do it or do you need time?”

“I was thinking I might just do alphabetical order since it isn’t like one name is more important than the other. So Ebony-Erikson. I dunno, what do you think?” Virgil was a little nervous for Janus’s response. He knew he liked it, but would Janus? Maybe it sounded stupid. It really was a mouthful.

“Virgil Ebony-Erikson,” Janus tried the name out and thought about it. Well pretended to think about it because Virgil was pretty sure he’d never seen Janus smile that wide. “I love it. You’re still gonna be Oreo to me though.”

Virgil chuckled then spoke before he could overthink it or doubt himself. “Then it’s official. I am Virgil Ebony-Erikson and there is no way I am changing my name again. From Angelo Erikson to Virgil Tempest then Virgil Erkison and now this, I’m sticking with it. I don’t care what Roman says, I’m not changing my name again.”

“That boy is taking your last name, have you met him?” Janus scoffed. He leaned over and kissed Virgil’s hair before he began to push the cart to the car again.

“Fair point,” Virgil laughed and leaned back against the cart again, as close to Janus as he could be. They were quiet for a moment before Virgil remembered something and spoke. “Oh, also, this is random, but I thought Micheals might also have a DIY chalk kit or something we could check for.”

“That’s probably a good idea otherwise Logan would try to figure out how to make it on his own,” Janus sighed.

“He’d probably figure it out…” Virgil started, thinking about his amazingly smart and resourceful boyfriend, before also remembering his lack of common sense, “But he’d make a huge ass mess.”

“Then Patton would make us clean it up, so, no thanks.”

Janus opened the trunk of Logan’s car and began to load the food into the car. Virgil immediately felt the discomfort in his chest grow as Janus stepped away and it just felt  _ wrong _ . Without Logan as close it all felt wrong. Virgil tried to climb out of the cart to get closer to Janus again but then his clumsy dumbass slipped and he slammed his left elbow into the cart when he instinctively tried to catch himself with his left and the sling stopped him. “Fuuuuuck,” Virgil groaned, his shoulder throbbing from the movement and his elbow sore. This was gonna leave a bruise.

Janus snickered as he put the last of the stuff in the trunk and closed it. “Just wait a minute you dumbass, I’ll help you.”

Virgil groaned but complied, sitting back down as his right hand instinctively went to his shoulder which was throbbing horribly, along with the damn feeling as Janus moved in and out of range of his dumbass powers. As if his hand being there would help. Virgil was glad Janus hadn’t immediately begun fretting over him though. Like yeah, this shit hurt, but it wasn’t like there was much all the fretting and worrying would do. He much rathered this snickering at his clumsiness to the worries and ‘are you okay?’s he had grown accustomed to over the past couple weeks. He closed his eyes while Janus finished unloading, taking the deep breaths that were supposed to help the pain fade faster as he waited for Janus to help him. 

“Alright come here,” Janus said as he came into range once more. 

Virgil sighed and opened his eyes as he sat up. Janus gestured for him to come forward and Virgil scooted toward Janus. Janus helped him climb out of the cart and just pushed the cart aside. Virgil’s hand immediately went back to Janus’s sleeve and he winced at his own weakness, quickly letting go and shuffling to the passenger side somewhat slower than before as his already more sore shoulder tried to recover from his slip in the cart. Janus got to the driver’s seat pretty quickly and drove them the short distance to the Michaels across the shopping center.

Virgil’s pain and discomfort immediately faded to the back of his mind at the sight of the familiar craft store. He always went to Michaels for his art supplies, it is where he had bought his first set of his nice colored pencils. He had been saving for months. Now he had at least three sets of his favorite brand at home, and he was about to get more.

The moment Janus put the car in park Virgil practically threw himself out of the car in excitement as he grabbed Janus’s hand and dragged him into the store. It was differently organized then the one he was used to, obviously, considering they were halfway across the country, but it was still the same store. Virgil grinned. Janus was laughing next to him, not in a teasing way like Virgil would expect but just a happy laugh at Virgil’s excitement.

“We should probably find the chalk stuff first since we actually need that,” Virgil pointed out. He looked around. To his left was the frame section and in the back left corner looked like yarn. In front of him looked like the colored pencils and drawing tools, but Virgil resisted the urge to run toward them, focusing on the necessities first. So he dragged Janus to the right, and sure enough he found a few aisles with DIY kits. 

“See any for chalk making?” Virgil asked.

“Ah-ha!” Janus exclaimed. He grabbed a box off the shelf and held it in the air triumphantly. Then his face fell. “Oh God, I have spent way too much time with the twins.”

Virgil just laughed, then began bouncing on his toes again. Could they go look at the pencils now? But he didn’t want to sound needy or anything, so instead, Virgil asked, “Anything else we actually need here?”

“Let me think...” Janus mused, pausing to think about it. Virgil could see him fighting a smile though. Virgil pretended to be patient, but his increased rate in bouncing likely gave him away.”I’m kidding. Let’s go.”

Virgil shoulder screamed at him as he basically sprinted to where he had seen the pencils and quickly located the aisle with the nicer supplies. It had cases of nice water colors and locked cases of Copic markers, but Virgil didn’t care about those. He wanted his graphite pencils and colored pencils, and they had his favorite brand, Prismacolor. 

“Which ones do you want?” Janus asked.

“I always get the Prismacolor ones,” Virgil said. “They have a set with normal pencils with all the different levels of graphite with softer and harder leads and such. But they also have really good colored pencils that have really good pigmentation and they have basically any color you could need. Plus they have them in soft and hard core. I normally use soft core cause it’s easier for blending and then if I need to add sharper details I can use one of the harder graphite pencils to make it stand out better and-”

Shit. Virgil cut himself off, realizing just how much he was rambling. God, Janus probably didn’t even care about this shit. He was only here because he wanted Virgil to have his hobby, he probably didn’t want to know all about the different types of pencils Virgil used and why he liked them and crap. Virgil glanced at the floor, embarrassed by his ramblings as he waited for whatever annoyed response he assumed was going to come from Janus.

“Damn, where’d you learn all that?” Janus asked. “That would’ve taken me forever to figure out.”

Wait, Janus… wasn’t annoyed? He wanted to know more? Virgil glanced up at Janus to see him frowning a little in confusion but other than that he almost looked like he was trying to memorize what Virgil was saying.

“Oh, um, yeah, it took a while to figure out,” Virgil gave a one shoulder shrug. “I liked drawing before I was 12 so the Tempest’s put me through a bunch of classes and stuff, or at least I assume that’s why they did it, but I still really loved it. Now I know I actually really started drawing when I was like, 6 though.”

“Yeah art is not my thing,” Janus admitted. He pulled off one of his gloves and Virgil could see scars on knuckles from him splitting them over and over again before he put them back on. “I mean I know the basic shit, I’m not stupid, but yeah sorry if I forget shit sometimes, I’ll try to remember though. So do you need both kinds?”

Virgil looked at Janus in surprise. He… felt bad for not knowing all of this? But, why? Virgil didn’t expect him to remember it all, it had taken him years to learn.

“You don’t have to remember it all,” Virgil assured him. “It took me years. Plus you can always ask me, or, when in doubt, google it. And yeah, the graphite one is there,” Virgil nodded in the direction of it as it was on the highest hook so he doubted he could reach it without hurting himself somehow, “And I’ll grab the starter color set.”

Virgil then went to look at the sets in front of him. He knew he wanted soft core and he wanted to get as big of a variety in color as he could. He found a set of 48 soft core Prismacolor pencils that seemed to have good variety and grabbed it before looking back over at Janus. He was reading the labels before he grabbed a pack and pulled it down.

“This one?” He showed Virgil the pencils he’d grabbed. It was a 12 set of graphite Prismacolor pencils that were teal for decorative purposes. Virgil was slightly disappointed this Micheals didn’t have the purple ones he had, but other than that these were exactly what he was looking for.

“Yep!” Virgil said, taking the pencils to hold with the colored pencils he had selected close to his chest. He couldn’t wait to go use these once they got back and… oh, right. Well, he’d be able to use them in… in four weeks. Maybe a little earlier if Patton cleared him. And until then it could give him something to look forward to. He briefly thought to get some line art pens, but he actually had quite a few of those in his bag cause they were good for casual doodling, along with a pencil sharpener, so he should be all set. He worked to shove aside his disappointment on how long he would have to wait to use them and smiled up at Janus. “Ready to go?”

“If that’s all you need then sure,” Janus shrugged. He sighed. “I honestly don’t even want to know what they’ve managed to get themselves into.”

“I mean, based on our track record the group that gets in trouble is normally the one I’m in, so they’re probably fine.” Virgil chuckled.

“That was before Remus joined,” Janus pointed out. “I swear if he set something on fire I’m gonna fucking disown him or something I swear to God.”

“Okay, knowing Remus that’s a reasonable possibility,” Virgil was fully laughing now as he spoke. “Let’s get back before they burn down the hotel.”

“Let’s,” Janus agreed and began to drag Virgil back to the car, nudging him forward by the back of his shirt collar. Virgil vaguely wondered why Janus had chosen to drag him by the scruff of his neck but decided not to question it as he followed along.

Once they got back to the car Janus tossed the DIY kit in the trunk and Virgil clutched the pencils closer when Janus got too far, trying desperately to focus on something else, and that something else was his pencils. Janus got into the car and gestured for Virgil to get in too. Virgil quickly tucked his pencils under his chin, making sure they were secure, before practically throwing himself into the car, getting as close as he could to Janus with the cup holders in between them. Janus instantly held out his arm for Virgil and Virgil set down his pencils before he went about playing with Janus’s fingers with a small smile. 

As Janus started driving back to the hotel, Virgil could feel the tugging growing stronger each passing moment. He had gotten used to this pain, as it had become a near constant as he and Logan went about their separate days, but after leaving it then being reintroduced so quickly, it was almost as bad as before the alleyway. Virgil felt himself tensing up and his breath growing short as he abandoned Janus’s hand to clutch his chest unconsciously, hunching over slightly in discomfort as he tried to remind himself to breathe. But it just kept getting worse as they got closer to Logan every passing moment, but not close enough.

“Okay so I know your favorite Harry Potter book,” Janus started suddenly. “But what about the movies?”

It took Virgil a moment to realize what Janus was doing. Like, clearly he was uncomfortable, was now really the time to just start a light hearted conversation about one of Virgil’s favorite things. But then he realized, duh, Janus was trying to distract him. Virgil wasn’t exactly sure in his ability to speak right now, but he was willing to try, cause damn it he’d take anything right now. He curled his knees up against his chest, the same instinct that brought his hand to his shoulder when it was in pain telling him to curl around his chest, protect the part of him in pain.

“I-” Virgil tried, but was cut off by a gasp. He took a shaky deep breath and tried again. “T-theres two, um, two scales,” Virgil took another breath as he forced himself to continue. “Accuracy and… and q-quality of m-movie.”

“Yeah that makes sense,” Janus nodded. “Okay, which one do you think is the most accurate?”

Virgil had always been torn between the first and second for that one. But with the second movie hitting so close to home right now… he didn’t really want to overanalyze that movie.

“F-first,” Virgil said. “First m-movie.” 

Normally he would go into why and everything, but he wasn’t sure he could talk that much right now, so he was just going to give simple answers and let Janus lead the conversation. They turned a corner and Virgil actually yelped as the tugging grew that much stronger. He blinked tears out of his eyes as he tried to readjust to this feeling he had grown accustomed to over the past couple months.

“And quality of movie?” Janus prompted.

“Seven,” Virgil said. “Part, part two.”

He liked both parts a lot. They were some of the darker movies and even with all of the shit going down people held onto friendships. He always wanted a friendship like that, and now he had it. And then, in part two, they win. And honestly, Virgil needed a win right now.

“What character did the movies do dirty?” Janus asked. “Okay they did a few characters dirty, but like which one got done the most dirty?”

“Ron,” Virgil replied with a gasp. “Just got… he got w-worse and worse.” 

Virgil was choking back his tears and curled up even tighter as they finally pulled into the parking lot. He felt like the tugging was going to break his ribs and it wouldn’t stop. It never had stopped. God how had he gotten used to this!? Like, sure, it bothered him sometimes but somehow he had been able to tolerate it and he couldn't remember how. He needed to remember  _ how. _

“I’ll get the shit, go get him,” Janus ordered, leaving absolutely no room for argument. Virgil nodded but didn’t move for a moment, the pain just too overwhelming. “Virgil get your ass inside, now.”

Finally Virgil found the willpower to move. He uncurled himself and stepped toward the hotel as tears finally began to fall. He was gasping as each step brought on more pain until he was sobbing as he stumbled toward the hotel. He had to pause as he tried to find it in him to move. It would hurt more to move closer but then it would help, he just had to get through this. This pain was the only way to feel better. Virgil took another step and actually yelled as he dropped to his knees. Damn it it was horrible. He couldn’t breathe. Why was this so bad now? It had been okay and then he left and God damn it he should just be able to get used to it again, why was this happening!?

“Fuck this, LOGAN!” Janus yelled, voice tinged with desperation. “GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!”

Virgil felt the tugging grow even more and he was sure his chest was going to explode as he cried and whimpered in pain, curled up into a ball on the sidewalk, feeling horribly weak and small but he couldn’t move. Then the door burst open and Virgil let out a cry as the feeling reached a climax and then… then it stopped. Virgil felt his body go limp as another sob escaped his throat, this one relieved. A hand rested on his shoulder and Virgil’s hand went up to cover it, the touch helping to bring him back to a now much less painful reality. Then someone gathered him into their arms and Virgil leaned into them desperately, a familiar feeling of safety overwhelming him as the pieces clicked and he realized who it was: Logan. 

That was why the pain had stopped. Logan was here. He was beside him and he was making it better. Virgil’s hand moved to cling to Logan’s shirt as he continued to shake and sob, the sudden intensity then disappearing in pain leaving his body shocked and confused. Logan was muttering something under his breath, just nonsense reassurances as he traced runes on Virgil’s good shoulder blade like he always did. Virgil took a few shuddering breaths as he tried to calm himself down but his body wouldn’t stop shaking. Another hand began to lightly stroke his hair and he felt the new person’s other arm wrap around him as well. Virgil kept trying to breathe, because that was the first step, right? He had to breathe, then he could stop crying and shaking, but first he had to breathe.

He felt the remaining tugging disappear as Janus came into the vicinity. He didn’t do much, just placed a hand on Virgil’s knee. Virgil’s hand continued grabbing and tugging at Logan’s shirt without thinking about it, not letting him move any farther away. Someone sat down next to Janus and he heard Patton’s voice, so he assumed it was him.

“JJ what happened?” Patton whispered as Virgil continued to struggle for air. He forced himself to take some deep breaths as tears kept falling and his shaking continued, but at least he was getting air and at least that horrible pain was gone.

“We forgot about the fucking tether,” Janus answered, voice just as quiet. 

“Well fuck,” Remus muttered. Virgil then noticed he was standing behind Roman, who was the other person with his arm around Virgil, and Remus had a comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder.

“I-I’m so-” Virgil started before a shake went through his body again. “Sorry,” Virgil finished after a moment.

“No Virgil, this is our mistake,” Logan sighed. “I’m sorry we forgot. You are not at fault for your abilities.”

“No I…” Virgil took another breath, his body was still shaking, tears still falling, but he could speak, kind of. “I thought I-I had, had g-gotten used… used to it. I… I s-should have gotten, gotten u-used to it.”

God he was so weak. He had been dealing with this for months and suddenly the pain he had learned to ignore had rendered him literally unable to move as he had collapsed onto the sidewalk. He knew it was partially because he had been hyper aware already because of being farther from Logan, but it was still the same pain. He should be able to handle it.

“No, ‘cause it was more distant when you were farther away, right?” Roman pointed out. “So you got used to that enough that when the pain came back you weren’t used to it anymore.”

“It  _ hurt _ ,” Virgil confirmed without thinking, sobbing into Logan’s chest. “It always hurt but I… I forgot I guess. I’m sorry. I’m okay now.”

He forced himself to sit up slightly, still shaking as he wiped the tears from his face, trying to regain control of himself.

“Kiddo it’s okay, your body is recovering from the pain, take your time,” Patton reassured him gently. Virgil noticed a slight tugging return and his gaze shot up to see Janus heading back to the car. Virgil sighed and looked back at Patton and gave a small nod, letting himself relax back into his boyfriend as his shaking slowly began to die down.

“I have a possible solution,” Janus declared, reappearing with the leash. 

Suddenly, it clicked. Janus had said the leash was “for Logan”. It was a literal tether, to keep Logan close to Virgil. Virgil couldn’t help the small, weak, wet chuckle that escaped his throat when he figured it out. Janus smirked at the sound.

“I’m taking that as approval.” Janus then went behind Logan, who looked so adorably confused, and forced his arms through the straps and handed the string to Virgil. “There ya go, kid. Now this bitch ain't going anywhere.”

It was stupid. Virgil knew he’d never actually use it. But in this moment it helped. Virgil tugged on the leash to pull Logan even closer with a small smile, giggling at how the tiny toddler backpack barely fit over Logan’s arms. Logan blinked as his brain apparently short-circuited and he tried to figure out what was going on. Eventually he got there and he looked over his shoulder to look at Janus. Virgil felt his abilities flash and Janus screeched as his beanie was pulled down over his face.

There were still a few tears falling on Virgil’s face, but he didn’t care because he was laughing now. He crawled into Logan’s lap and wrapped the leash around his wrist tightly with a grin. Logan glared at him next.

“Don’t encourage him,” Logan warned with narrowed eyes.

“Hey, you felt the damn scroll, you can’t judge,” Virgil retorted playfully.

“This-” Logan gestured at the fuzzy owl head near his shoulder. “-is a bit extreme.”

“I think it’s the next fashion trend,” Roman spoke up. “You’ll be modeling it on runways next year.”

“Yeah kiddo, I think you look  _ owl _ standing!” Patton added.

“Patton I’m not sure what I can do to you but I will find something,” Logan threatened. Virgil chuckled as he booped his pouting boyfriend on the nose playfully. He wanted to keep being playful but he  _ needed _ to confirm something.

“You’ll stay close for a bit, right?” Virgil asked, hoping his voice didn’t sound as small and pathetic as he thought it did.

“Of course, my love,” Logan answered, kissing his forehead.

“Hey why does he get special treatment!?” Roman protested. Logan didn’t even look at him but he fell backwards into Remus’s legs with a squawk and Virgil could feel that Logan had used his abilities.

You can stay too.” Virgil pointed out with a smirk, feeling better after Logan’s confirmation. God his boyfriends were adorable.

“I was talking to both of you actually,” Roman grouched, staying on the ground with his head on Remus’s shoes. “You tease him, he kisses you, but me, his  _ partner _ , I get yeeted backwards into my twin.”

“Hey, I didn’t do that!” Virgil objected. “And the only reason he’s not throwing me is cause I’m hurt.”

“He has a point,” Logan confirmed.

“Fine but I’m still gonna pout about it,” Roman declared.

“Speaking of that injury, we should probably get Virgil inside so he has a more comfortable place to sit.” Patton suggested.

It wasn’t until then that Virgil realized his shoulder was actually hurting pretty bad from falling and curling up like he had, but it was nothing compared to the pain of his abilities. 

“It’s not that bad. Nothing compared to the other shit. And I still dunno if I can move.” Virgil admitted, still slightly shaky from what had happened. He also just didn’t want to risk Logan stepping even an inch too far away, the thought of the pain causing his grip to tighten on the leash instinctively.

“I can carry you,” Logan offered gently.

“Okay,” Virgil muttered, not even bothering to object. The offer did solve both problems, it kept Logan close and he wouldn’t have to test how much weight his shaky knees could take. Plus, even if he wasn’t going to admit it, he kinda loved being carried by his boyfriends.

Logan rearranged him a bit so he could push himself off his knees with Virgil still in his arms. Virgil tucked his face into Logan’s chest without thinking and Logan’s arms tightened around him.

“You gonna get up anytime soon?” Virgil heard Remus ask Roman teasingly.

“No, I don’t think I will,” Roman replied grumpily.

“Okay,” Remus must have done something after that because Roman let out an affronted “ow!” and Remus started walking back toward the hotel cackling.

“You asshole!” Roman shrieked and began to chase Remus back inside. Remus flipped him off over his shoulder as he began to run, still cackling maniacally. The two disappeared back inside and Logan chuckled to himself like he didn’t expect anyone to hear as he shook his head.

“Those kiddo’s are the oldest here, right?” Patton confirmed with a grin.

“Technically they are both legal adults,” Logan sighed, beginning to follow the twins but at a much slower pace.

“That is the worst possible answer to that question,” Janus groaned from where he was walking close by Logan and Virgil. “They’re gonna do Fove’s job for them and kill themselves with their own stupidity.”

"Aw, JJ, be nice,” Patton scolded lightly. “They’re cute!”

“They can be cute and idiots,” Virgil pointed out. “I mean, that’s basically both my boyfriends in a nutshell. Adorable, beautiful idiots.”

“How dare you,” Logan deadpanned.

“Am I wrong?” Virgil asked innocently, taking his face from Logan’s shirt to look up at his boyfriend's face.

“As one of the two in this group with basic intelligence I think that disqualifies me as an idiot.”

“Lacking common sense and basic self preservation instincts then,” Virgil amended with a smirk. “But it’s okay, I love you both anyway.”

“I-” Logan tried to argue before sighing. “I suppose that’s fair. We love you, too.”

“I mean, I am lacking common sense, self preservation instincts  _ and _ I’m an idiot so that must take a lot.” Virgil chuckled at his self deprecating yet kind of true comment.

“You forgot the ‘adorable’ and ‘beautiful’ aspects,” Logan reminded him.

“Oh right, cause those aspects aren’t there,” Virgil said. Damn he was normally better at keeping these thoughts in. Normally he’d be getting flustered about now but he just felt like a weak piece of shit for falling apart so easily just a few minutes ago, he couldn’t find it in him to accept a compliment. “Yet more reasons to not love me. I don’t see how you do it.”

“I find it rather easy,” Logan shrugged. “Some day you will too.”

“Whatever you say babe,” Virgil sighed. Maybe Logan was right. With Logan and Roman’s help, maybe it was possible, but not right now. Right now he just needed to stay near Logan and build back up his guard for the pain when he left, because he couldn’t be that weak again. He couldn’t fall apart like that again. He could handle it, he had to. Suddenly, right before they reached the door, a thought hit him and he glanced at Janus, a wave of unnecessary panic washing over him.

“Shit, Janus, where are my pencils? I didn’t drop them, did I? I could have broken them or-”

“No, you just left them in the car,” Janus reassured him quickly. “Want me to grab ‘em?”

It was stupid to want them when he couldn’t even use them, right? So, why did he want them so badly? Why did he so badly want to say yes to Janus’s question. Virgil hesitated, biting his lip, and that seemed enough of an answer to Janus.

“Be right back,” Janus said and returned to the car as Logan stepped over the threshold. Virgil was happy to find he was able to almost completely ignore the tugging to Janus again already. He should be able to be away from Logan again soon. He had to be.

Then, Virgil noticed the sight in front of him and burst out laughing. Remus and Roman were wrestling on the couch, pillows and blankets thrown everywhere, one of the couch cushions halfway fallen off.

“I…” Logan trailed off with a sigh. “I give up.”

“That’s fair,” Virgil said as he caught his breath from laughing so hard.

“I hate to break this up kiddos,” Patton cut in. “But I think Virgil and Logan might need that couch.”

“Surrender now or I will relinquish your baked mac and cheese privileges!” Remus declared from where he was struggling under Roman’s grip. Because of course Roman was winning. That made Roman pause and narrow his eyes at Remus.

“Maria’s recipe?” Roman asked suspiciously.

“What the fuck else would it be?”

“God fucking damn it.”

Roman sighed but climbed off Remus reluctantly. Remus was laughing uncontrollably as he also got off the couch and quickly fixed the cushion, pillows and blankets so Logan could set Virgil down. Virgil caught a glimpse of Roman sticking his tongue out at his twin as Logan crossed the room and gently placed him on the couch and sat next to him.

“Promise to stay?” Virgil asked, leash still in hand. He knew the answer would be yes, but he just wanted to be sure before he released Logan from his owl backpack tether.

“For as long as you need me to,” Logan confirmed.

Virgil nodded and tossed his end of the leash to Logan. “You can take it off now.”

“Oh thank Archimedes!” Logan exclaimed and immediately worked to free himself from his bird-themed prison. Unfortunately Janus walked in just as Logan got it off so Logan threw it across the room at him and hit him in the face. 

“Rude!” Janus protested as he made his way to the couch. “Logan Valley, I expected better from you.” 

“Gimme the pencils!” Virgil reached out eagerly before he could stop himself. Janus smiled and handed the art supplies to him. Virgil took them with a smile and set them in his lap so he could get a better look at them. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get the stupid little tin containers open with one hand. Suddenly Virgil felt a small flare in Logan’s magic and the lid popped off of both the containers. He grinned at his boyfriend to see him still glaring at his brother and chuckled.

“You put me in a mechanism made for toddlers,” Logan scoffed. “I believe my reaction was justified.”

“Uh-huh,” Janus rolled his eyes. “‘Cause you seemed so eager to take it off.”

“You are a snake.”

“I am aware, thank you.”

Virgil was smiling listening to their conversation, but he was also really excited to get to the pencils. He had come up with his own organization system over the years that considered locations on the color wheel with secondary and primary colors and allowed him to always know where every pencil was. Sadly, they did not come organized how Virgil liked them, so he quickly began removing every pencil from their slots in the layers of flimsy plastic to organize them properly.

There were four layers of colored pencils in the tin and Virgil took them all out, careful not to let any roll away, before he began organizing. The top layer would be the boldest shades of the primary colors. Those could be good to even blend his own shades of secondary colors, so he used them a lot. The second layer had the boldest shades of the secondary colors, then the third layer had blacks and greys and neutrals. Finally, the bottom layer was more for fun because they were the lighter, less pigmented shades of the primary and secondary colors that Virgil didn’t use that often, so he organized them into a rainbow.

Once he was done he placed all the layers back in the tin in their correct order, struggling some as the flimsy plastic was not made to be held with one hand, but he made it work. Once he had them all in he hesitated, wanting more than anything to draw with them but knowing he couldn’t. He sighed as he put the lid back on the tin and set it aside.

Then he moved on to his tin of graphite pencils. He normally kept this one organized how it came, as it was based on the toughness of the graphite and that affected the pigmentation which is what he normally organized by, so he didn’t normally reorganize these, but he just wanted to look at his new pencils. He picked up his favorite for sketching, 4H, and placed it in his left hand carefully, just to hold it again and to feel that familiar weight. It was comforting.

“Oh you got more pencils!” Roman said, sliding up to Virgil’s other side. “Sorry probably should have noticed before but these two do not get into it often enough and it’s extremely entertaining.”

“It’s fine,” Virgil chuckled, leaving the pencil in his hand despite knowing he wouldn’t be able to draw anything with it. “I was just reorganizing them, not nearly as entertaining as those two.”

“I mean Logan just called J a ‘cotton-headed ninny muggins’,” Roman laughed. “I have literally no clue what that means but I love it.”

“That is amazing,” Virgil agreed. “Damn, maybe I should have been paying attention. I could have organized these later. Not like I’ll be using them anytime soon.”

“Hey at least it’s-” Roman started before the door burst open loudly to reveal Remus with his arms full of the ingredients for his mac and cheese.

“Time to cook bitches!” Remus announced as he bounded toward the kitchen. He paused in the doorway and drew a line with his foot. “No Logan or Roman past this point. I do not trust them in my kitchen.”

“Okay I can’t even be mad about that one,” Roman muttered. “Wait how did he know Logan can’t cook?”

“I have my ways,” Remus smirked before spinning and depositing the ingredients onto the counter. “Cooking minions, assemble!”

Virgil wanted to cook, but he was also still worried about leaving Logan’s side, and Remus had made it clear that he did not want that kind of cooking menace in his kitchen. And this was Remus’s time to shine, so Virgil really didn’t want to make him do anything he didn't want to do. And he had been so excited about cooking with Remus.

Virgil sighed and put away the pencil he was holding before getting up and taking a few steps from Logan. The pain returned full force, and despite being more prepared and on guard Virgil still flinched hard. His mental block still wasn’t quite back to regular function apparently as the pain and tether forced themselves back to the forefront of his mind. Logan was instantly at his side again. Virgil was starting to wonder if that boy actually had super speed. However, that was irrelevant at the moment, as right now he had to pull himself together so he could go cook with Remus.

“I’m okay Lo,” Virgil said. “You’re not allowed in the kitchen. I’ll be fine.”

Logan bit his lip and looked like he was about to object but he looked over at the kitchen and sighed. He nodded but didn’t move, letting Virgil be the one to move away so he could prepare himself. Virgil took a deep breath before taking two steps away from Logan. One more and the pain would be back. Before he could stop himself, Virgil took the last step and pretended that the squeak of pain he made hadn’t happened as he shuffled to the kitchen, shoulders tense. This would be good. If he just forced himself through this then he’d get used to it again, and though the pain would still be there, he could better ignore it. Logan took a few steps further away from Virgil which helped some but damn if Logan was literally within like a 20 yard radius of him it was fucking unbearably painful, especially considering Virgil was so hyper aware right now.

Once Virgil got into the kitchen and out of sight of Logan he leaned against the counter and let out a small groan, putting his face in his hand as he took deep breaths. Damn it, why was this suddenly so difficult!? He had been getting used to Logan’s abilities for months and suddenly a little over an hour reversed the whole damn adjustment process. God he was so weak it wasn’t even that bad he should just get over himself-

“Kiddo, are you okay?” Shit. Patton and Remus were in here. Fuck. Virgil pushed himself off the counter and gave them a small, strained smile that probably ended up being more of a grimace.

“I’m good,” Virgil forced out. His hyper awareness caused him to actually notice Janus’s powers flare at his lie from the other room, which didn’t help at all.

“I don’t need Janus’s powers to know that is absolute fucking bullshit,” Remus rolled his eyes. “Dude, seriously, if you need to sit this one out-”

“Nope,” Virgil cut him off. He was not sitting anything out because of his powers. Not powers, abilities, abilities that couldn’t control him. He couldn’t be weak and let them control him, he couldn’t. “Been dealing with this for months. I’ll be fucking fine. I have to be. So, what do you need me to do?”

Patton and Remus exchanged a look before Remus shrugged. “Grate the parmesan cheese. We need a half cup.”

Virgil nodded and got to work. Patton started melting some butter while Remus got the water on to boil and worked on grating more cheese. They all worked in silence for a few minutes before Patton spoke up.

“Butter is melted! Do I add the milk now?”

“Yep!” Remus confirmed. “How’d you know?”

“I’ve done some cooking before too, kiddo,” Patton smiled at Remus. “Janus actually made me cook for him a lot because he said I made the best pancakes, but I learned some other stuff too.”

“Well then I guess I’ll have to try these pancakes of yours sometime, feel out the competition here.” Remus smirked at Patton and Patton giggled. Patton then grabbed the milk and measured the correct amount into the pot with the melted butter before he returned to stirring and chatting away with Remus. Virgil really wanted to join them but he just didn’t have the willpower to focus on more than one thing other than the pain, and that one thing was grating cheese for the time being, so that is what he did.

“Cheese time!” Remus announced walking around Virgil and gently taking the nub of remaining parmesan from his hand. He had nealy grated through the whole block and barely even realized. “I did say half a cup, right?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Virgil said. He scooped up some of the cheese to measure it before handing it to Remus. Remus dumped it into the pot along with the four cheeses he had grated and a couple spices.

“Okay Pat, keep stirring, I’m gonna cook this pasta, it only needs like three minutes then we will mix it with what’s in that pot and stick it in the oven!”

The timer was just going off to say the pasta was done and Virgil felt the pain in his chest worsen and winced. He saw the reason a moment later when Logan came up to the doorway. Virgil tried to school his features to look casual and, well, not in pain, but Logan clearly didn’t buy it. However, he didn’t say anything to Virgil either, instead looking at Remus.

“Remus may I speak with you?” Logan asked. If Virgil didn’t know him so well he would think Logan was completely calm, but he could tell he wasn't. He was trying too hard to seem that way. Back too straight, face too blank, voice too even.

Meanwhile, Remus looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. His eyes widened and his hands fluttered around uselessly for a moment before he nodded at Logan. He turned to Patton and Virgil for a moment. “Pasta goes in the sauce and it all goes in the pan.”

“Got it kiddo!” Patton grinned. Remus nodded again then quickly followed Logan out of the kitchen. Virgil looked at Patton curiously. 

“What was that about?” Virgil asked, his chest tightening painfully as he spoke but now that he didn’t have a task to do, he needed something. Plus, the pain was somewhat less than it had been before, meaning Logan had probably gone outside to talk. Still there, but bearable enough that Virgil could talk in a fairly even voice, so he took that as a win.

“Logan and I had a chat earlier, I think he’s working on forgiving Remus, but I’m not sure, you’ll have to ask him.”

The smile that broke across Virgil’s face was impossibly genuine and wide considering he was still in significant pain, but he couldn’t help it. Logan had clearly missed Remus, and Remus had been pining over Logan like crazy before everything went down. Maybe Logan could finally actually start to feel better, and maybe,  _ maybe _ he could get those two hopeless gays together.

“Oh my God Patton that’s awesome!” Virgil said. “Thank you for talking to him.”

“It’s no problem kiddo,” Patton smiled back at Virgil easily. “I just hope I helped.”

“Well, Logan spoke to Remus which is more than he has done in over a week, so I’d say you’ve already helped,” Virgil pointed out. Suddenly he gasped as he felt Logan’s abilities swell, causing a stab of pain in his chest. He stumbled into the counter and took a few deep breaths, as the pain faded. He hadn’t used them, they had just come closer to the surface. He was probably just emotional, it was okay.

Virgil looked up to see Patton looking at him, eyes filled with concern.

“I’m okay Pat, Lo’s just a bit emotional and it’s affecting his abilities,” Virgil took a deep breath and checked to make sure only the painful yanking remained. “It’s okay now though. Here, I’ll strain the pasta.”

Patton hesitated, still looking worried before he nodded. “Okay, kiddo, if you’re sure.”

Virgil wasn’t sure, but he nodded anyway. He poured the pasta into the strainer, using it as a distraction as he watched the water make its way out of the holes, weaving through the pasta. He took a deep breath as the last of the water poured from the pan, but he felt resistance as he tried to breath again. He set down the pot, more prepared this time for the wave of sharp pain the rose and fell as Logan’s powers swelled again. But it did fade, which meant it was okay still. Virgil swallowed thickly as he noticed Patton looking at him once more.

“Maybe you should go sit down kiddo,” Patton started, but Virgil was shaking his head. He couldn’t just sit and think about the pain. He had to do something. He picked up the strainer and dumped the pasta into the bowl with the sauce without a word and Patton sighed, but began mixing it all together. Once it was mixed Patton picked it up and began to pour the pasta in. Virgil had a rubber spatula ready to smooth it out when… fuck not again Logan.

Virgil tossed the spatula onto the counter and leaned back. This time when it swelled it stayed like that for a moment, and Virgil was beginning to panic because it hurt so bad and he couldn’t breathe and what if Logan was in danger and-

And he was on the floor. Patton was setting down the pot then moving to kneel in front of him and take his hand and there were tears on Virgil’s face and then it shifted. And Logan was actually using his magic, in a good way. Normally this would relax Virgil but his body was just so overwhelmed right now he couldn’t process it, so he just gripped the hand Patton offered him firmly and waited for it to go away. And pretty soon it did.

Virgil let his head drop back against the cabinets in relief as he was left once again with just the normal, painful tugging. But he could deal with that, especially at this distance. Except… well shit. The tugging was getting stronger, meaning Logan was coming back. Which wasn’t a bad thing, except fucking pain. 

Virgil curled up and placed his head between his knees, gripping Patton’s hand tighter and tighter as he felt Logan approach. His chest felt like it was being stabbed again and again, and Virgil would know, considering he had been stabbed. But he wasn’t going to cry again.

This was just a bad day Virgil reminded himself. He was being hyper aware because he went too far from Logan but it would be better tomorrow. He would be able to ignore it better tomorrow. Virgil continued to drag air in and out of his lungs feeling like someone was trying to yank his ribs from his chest. It hurt so bad damn it! It always had but he just couldn’t take it today. He just couldn’t ignore it like he should be able to. Damn it where had his walls gone? He needed them back!

“Janus get in here!” Virgil heard Patton’s voice. 

Damn it he was that bad again? Fuck why couldn’t he deal with this, he was so weak! It probably wasn’t even that bad, he was just exaggerating it and being a burden and an attention hog. He needed to stop, but he couldn’t because the pain was still there.

He heard hurried footsteps and felt a slight increase in tugging before a small amount of it relaxed as Janus kneeled next to him. Janus pressed himself against Virgil’s side and there were hands on his shins, gently stroking up and down. It wasn’t until then that Virgil realized he was shaking again. At least he wasn’t crying.

“L-logan,” Virgil gasped. “On his...his way b-back.”

He wasn’t sure why he said it. He just felt the need to explain himself, even if it was no excuse. He had been okay for months. He would have to make this his only bad day. He shouldn't even have to have a bad day to begin with, but of course his weak ass had to fall apart today, but this was where he drew the line. This wouldn’t happen again.

And then the pain climaxed, and Virgil broke his rule of hiding his pain as much as possible as a pained cry escaped his mouth. It was so horrible, why was it so horrible? He had been able to block it for so long, it hadn’t been this horrible in so long, why couldn’t he block it again?

He heard more hurried footsteps and the pain impossibly grew until it disappeared and he knew Logan was there. The hands on his legs disappeared and Virgil was able to relax his grip on himself slightly and take a good deep breath, no longer feeling as if his chest was being torn apart. He kept his head between his knees, still shaking slightly and not wanting to see the looks on his friends faces as they witnessed his second breakdown of the day. The person in front of him ran a hand through his hair before it lowered to his knee and began tapping out a pattern. It was Logan.

Virgil took another deep breath as he focused on the familiar pattern before slowly lifting his head. He was right, Logan was in front of him. Janus was still pressed against his side and that pressure along with the tapping was incredibly helpful. Patton was on his right side, still allowing Virgil to clutch his hand far too tightly, and when he realized that he loosened his grip slightly. Roman was sitting back a bit out of the way, and Virgil suddenly felt bad for putting him through this yet again, letting Roman see him in so much pain. Remus was also sitting on the floor, and he was next to Logan, which made Virgil feel a little better. At least that seemed to have gone well.

“I’m sorry guys, I dunno what the hell is wrong with me today,” Virgil sighed. “I’ll get my shit together tomorrow, I promise. I’ll get back to ignoring it.”

“Virgil I’m gonna keep saying this ‘till it gets through your fucking head,” Janus sighed. “We. Are. Here. For. You. Everyone has bad days, dumbass, it’s okay. I mean you saw me with the fucking journal, Logan in the alley, I’m sure you’ve seen Roman break a few times, and Patton a little while ago. You weren’t angry then, and we aren’t angry now. No one gives a single shit.”

He wasn’t sure he believed it, but it still felt good to hear. He knew bad emotional days though. He was used to those. Those he knew what to do about: read Harry Potter, draw, listen to music. But this was pure, horrible pain. And he just didn’t know what to do about it. It wasn’t like he could exactly ask Logan and Janus to stay within a fucking yard of him for the rest of the day, as much as he wanted to. They had already tried so much though, and he didn’t want to burden them with something he knew he could handle. Except he didn’t want to handle it alone. Virgil sighed.

“You need any more help with the mac and cheese?” Virgil asked Remus, trying to get the subject off of his weak, broken self and onto something else.

“Nope, just gotta put on the bread crumbs and stick it in the oven. You go relax with your boyfriends and brothers, because I am about to kick them out of my kitchen before they can set the place on fire.”

“I have only been in here for five minutes!” Logan protested.

“Yes and it was five minutes too long for my liking. If it weren’t for my brother-in-law needing a hand I would have kicked you out ten minutes ago.”

“We’re not married yet,” Roman reminded him half-heartedly.

“There is a ring, so I see no difference,” Remus said with a smirk.

“Shall we argue the technicalities of marriage after Virgil is no longer sitting on the kitchen floor?” Logan cut in, glaring at each of the twins in turn.

“Tecniqually we are all on the kitchen floor,” Virgil mumbled, again trying to make himself not the sole worry.

“Virgil Ebony-Erikson I swear to God,” Janus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Meanwhile Virgil was trying not to scream in happiness at the sound of his new name being used by his brother. Patton was less successful than Virgil, as he heard a squeak escape the younger boy’s mouth as he beamed at Virgil. “Just get off the damn floor.”

Virgil sighed and nudged Janus off him, letting go of Patton’s hand as he pushed himself off the floor, his knees still shaky under him as he grabbed the counter for support. “There, happy?”

“Nope, get on the couch,” Janus ordered as he stood up. Virgil didn’t say anything but he glanced at Logan, and his gaze must have betrayed his desperation to not be separated from either of the two magic people in the group, because Logan stood as well, squeezing Roman’s shoulder on the way up. 

Virgil gave him a small smile before slowly making his way out of the kitchen, leaning on the counter for support the whole way. Eventually he ran out of counter though and Patton appeared by his side, wrapping his arm around Virgil’s waist and draping Virgil’s arm over his shoulders cause Virgil could actually reach for once. 

Patton guided Virgil to the couch and Logan and Janus never once left the range of his magic as Patton sat Virgil down then went off to find blankets. Logan sat next to him for a second before his hands were on Virgil’s waist and Virgil was in his lap. Virgil didn’t hesitate to snuggle against Logan as he tucked his head against Logan’s shoulder and clung to him with his right arm. Roman appeared behind him and curled up into Logan’s side so he could play with Virgil’s hair. Virgil unconsciously nudged his head against Roman’s hand happily and heard Roman chuckle. Janus plopped onto the couch on Logan’s other side muttering to himself about how they couldn’t stop being all lovey for five minutes and all that. Virgil just rolled his eyes fondly and let go of Logan’s shirt to motion Janus over. Virgil may not be in a mindset to verbally ask for his brother to be close to him, but he was still going to try and ask. Janus looked a little surprised as he scooted closer to Logan and laid his head on his shoulder, but Virgil caught a glimpse of his small smile as he put a hand on Virgil’s ankle. 

Patton came back with blankets and helped situate them comfortably over the snuggle pile before sitting himself on Janus’s lap and laying his head against Virgil. Remus came out of the kitchen after a couple more minutes, brushing his hands off on his jeans before he noticed the snuggle pile commencing on the couch and grinned. He sat down on his brother’s lap and wrapped his arm around Virgil.

Virgil felt his eyelids growing heavy and blinked quickly, trying to fight off sleep because he was enjoying this far too much. He shifted slightly to keep himself awake, too tired to pay attention to the hushed conversation going on around him. He was really bad about asking for the affection he needed, but today it was just being given to him and he was not going to object.

His eyes had fallen closed as his body began to succumb to the exhaustion of the pain from earlier when he heard the beeping going off in the oven and sighed in relief. Remus smirked and got up.

“Who’s ready for dinner?” Remus asked.

“Oh  _ fuck _ yes,” Roman sighed.

Remus chuckled and went to get the mac and cheese out of the oven as the group slowly began untangling themselves from the blankets. Patton got up first and bounded over to the table and sat down, clearly very excited. Roman was only half a second behind Patton. He began walking to the kitchen, most likely to help Remus before stopping suddenly and shaking his head, turning around and sitting down at the table. Janus, being Janus, decided not to move and hold Logan hostage, so Logan apparently decided to use his abilities and push him onto the floor. Virgil giggled quietly, his senses now calm enough to enjoy the feeling of Logan’s abilities again and laugh at his brother flipping off his boyfriend. Janus stood up and brushed himself off as if nothing happened and sat at the table gracefully. 

“I have no intention of moving,” Virgil mumbled, still half awake. “But please do not throw me on the floor, that would hurt.”

“You are not being a little bitch so I promise not to throw you on the floor,” Logan said, ignoring Janus’s offended sound.

“Yay!” Virgil snuggled further into Logan. “You’re comfy.”

“Well if we are going to eat you may have to change your position,” Logan pointed out.

“I don’t wanna,” Virgil grumbled, but he did shift so he was sitting up more. Look, he wanted mac and cheese, okay?

“And I don’t want you to choke,” Logan argued.

“Fine, but I’m coming back when we’re done,” Virgil decided as he carefully got off of Logan’s lap and instead shifted to lean on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Just a moment later, Remus emerged carrying a pan of hot mac and cheese which he set on the table. He went back to grab plates and quickly filled them all with the delicious smelling meal, bringing some over to Logan and Virgil without them even needing to ask. He then settled next to Logan on the couch. They all began to eat the heavenly food, chatting and having a nice time, and for the first time in a while Virgil was able to forget everything going on and just enjoy the company of all these people he had grown to love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading!!! We will attempt to get the next chapter out on time, but we basically have to write the whole thing (the fic finally caught up to what we had written) and my work load is about to blow up so no promises.  
> We reply to all comments (I will reply to the ones on the interlude right after I post this cause I'm an idiot and forgot), and we love reading them, so feel free to comment, and I'll see you all on some future Sunday, hopefully this coming one but like I said, no promises.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! We will try to update weekly, and please check out the other end of the collab in the collection We Can't Keep Running Away From Who We Are.  
> Thanks for reading!!


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